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Jimmy Changa Learns Who TheBearded Smelly Man Was
In last month
s episode, Jimmy went onthe ride of his life. He accompaniedsome of the best trained SEALcommandos the United States has everproduced, for an assault on a highlyfortiﬁed target in Pakistan.When we last left Jimmy, he had beengiven an assault riﬂe by one of the NavySEALs and told to scour the house. If hefound a target, he was to yell for help.However, Jimmy
s voice failed him andhe found himself looking straight at themost wanted man in the world.The bearded smelly man looked morelike a goat herder. The turban-headedgoat herder grabbed the closest womanand put a knife to her throat. In thatinstant, Jimmy
s mind ﬂashed back tothe two planes crashing horriﬁcally intothe World Trade Center buildings. In asplit second and without further thought,Jimmy pulled the trigger and blew thesmelly man
s brains across the room.The woman screamed and dropped tothe ﬂoor. She crawled to Jimmy, stoodup and slapped him in the face andscreamed in English “Why did you dothat? He was a simple gold herder whoate smelly goat cheese and had rottingteeth.”She quickly pulled Jimmy aside andchastised him saying that he blew hercover. Jimmy said “What the heck areyou talking about lady? This is the mosthated man in the world.”The woman replied quietly that she wasworking undercover for the Israeli SecretService and was only days away fromlearning who was in his most dastardlysecret network. At that moment, sevenSEAL commandos burst into the roomwith their weapons drawn an
d orderedthe two of them to hit the ground. Theteam leader yelled out “Who shot thisman?”Jimmy ﬁnally got his voice back andyelled out “I did!”Seven commandos conﬁrmed that theroom was secure and proudly andswiftly congratulated Jimmy for killingthe most wanted man in the world.The other members of the householdwere rounded up, handcuffed andbrought outside to await transport to theUS Embassy. The remaining seal teampicked through the house with a ﬁnetooth comb and took everything theycould get their hands on to bring backfor analysis.With one sentence the White Housewas notiﬁed that the mission was asuccess. “The goat herder has gone tothe pearly gates.”Eight hours later the president of theUnited States was on national TVannouncing that Osama bin Laden hadbeen killed during the course of a raidupon his home. Our brave SEALcommandos performed this historicmission with success.What the public did not know, and wouldnever know, was that the person whopulled the trigger was not a member ofthe military and was not a Seal teamcommando. Rather, he just happened tobe one of the nation
s best kept secrets;someone who can predict whensomeone will die simply by shaking theirhand.
Join me next month when we continue to follow Jimmy
s antics in my never ending ﬁctional story.
Mia & David at Coney IslandMia; the early years