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21 Points on Raising Children Umm ‘Abdillaah al-Waadi’iyyah-www.islamchest

21 Points on Raising Children Umm ‘Abdillaah al-Waadi’iyyah-www.islamchest

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Published by: Islam Chest on Jun 29, 2011
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21 Points on Raising Children
  Version 2.0 www.Tarbiyyahbookstore.com
1
       א       א א       
 
21 Points on Raising Children
By Umm ‘Abdillaah al-Waadi’iyyah,
 
 א
.
Taken from the book:
Naseehatee lin Nisaa (My Advice to Women)
Translated by:
Aboo Mu’aawiyah ‘Aqeel Ingram
Edited by:
Tarbiyyah Bookstore Publishing & DistributionRaising children is complex; hence they are in need of patience and management.Consequently, some children are in need of gentleness, kindness, not raising your voice atthem, and they should be dealt with without stubbornness.Other children are in need of sternness, but this sternness should not exceed the limit. If thisis exceeded, then the child will become stubborn and non-compliant towards his parents’guidance. We ask Allaah to provide us with good protection and care since there is animmense responsibility around the necks of the parents. Allaah, The Exalted, said:
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 “O you who possess Eemaan (faith), save yourselves and your families fromthe Fire.”
[Sooratut-Tahreem (66): 6] And in the Saheehayn (i.e. Bukhaaree and Muslim) from the Hadeeth of ‘Abdullaah bin‘Umar that he said: The Messenger of Allaah, (
    א 
), said:
“Each one of you is a 
 
21 Points on Raising Children
  Version 2.0 www.Tarbiyyahbookstore.com
2
shepherd and each one of you is responsible (for his flock). So the ruler is a shepherd and heis responsible, the man is the shepherd of his family and he is responsible, the woman is theshepherd of her home and she is responsible, and the slave is the shepherd of his owner’s wealth and he is responsible. Each one of you is a shepherd, and each one of you isresponsible (for his flock).”
It is imperative that the parents co-operate in raising their children. If one of the parents isnegligent of their responsibility then one side will become deficient except for what Allaah wills.1 –The child should be taught according to his level and understanding. Take an example of that. For example in the first stage, you teach the child about Allaah by pointing with yourfingers up to the sky.2 – When you give the child some food be it a piece of bread or something similar, direct himto eating it with his right hand.3 – If the food is hot, then do not blow on it. The Prophet, (
 א
), prohibited blowinginto vessels. If the child sees someone applying this, then you will find him quick to enact it.Likewise are all matters, this is all confirmed by the statement of the Prophet, (
 א
):
“Everyone is born upon the Fitrah, but the parents make him (i.e. the child) a  Jew, Christian, or Magian.”
 And in Saheeh Muslim from the Hadeeth of ‘Iyaad bin Hummaar that he said: The Messengerof Allaah, (
 א
), said:
“Allaah, The Exalted, said: I created my servants Hunafaa’(upon pure Tawheed), but the devils pre-occupied their attention.”
4 – When the child is a year and a half or there about, if the child wants to eat or drink, thenteach him to say: Bismillaah. Thereafter, it will become a norm and the child, himself, will say:Bismillaah.5 – When you find that the child is ready and can comprehend the pillars of Islaam, Eemaan(faith), and the pillar of Ihsaan (perfection in worship), then teach him.Do not bind teaching him to a set age because the fluency and intellect of children differ.
 
21 Points on Raising Children
  Version 2.0 www.Tarbiyyahbookstore.com
3
So the pillars of Islaam are:On the authority of ibn ‘Abbaas (
 א
) that he said: The Messenger of Allaah, (
  א 
) said:
“Islaam is founded on five (pillars): Bearing witness that Laa ilaaha ill Allaah andMuhammad is the Messenger of Allaah, to establish the prayer, to pay the Zakaat, to fastRamadaan, and to make the pilgrimage (Hajj) to the House (i.e. the Ka’bah in Makkah).”
1
  And the pillars of Eemaan (faith) are:On the authority of Aboo Hurayrah, (
א
), that he said:
The Messenger of Allaah,
(
 א  
)
, said:
“ 
Eemaan (faith) is to believe in Allaah, the angels, the Books, messengers, and theFinal Resurrection.”
2
 
 And the pillar of Ihsaan (Perfection in worship) is:
“It is to worship Allaah as though you seeHim and if you are not able to (worship Allaah as though you) see Him then He sees you.”
3
 
6 – Teach him the legal rulings of Wudoo’ (Ablution).7 – When he eats from a vessel then say to him that he should eat what is closest to him:In the Saheehain (i.e. Bukhaaree and Muslim) from the Hadeeth of ‘Umar bin Abee Salamahthat he said: I was eating and my hands were moving frivolously around the dish, so theProphet, (
 א
), said to me: O young boy, say the name of Allaah, eat with your righthand, and eat what is closest to you.8 – Make him accustomed to good and excellent (actions). When he reaches the age of seventhen train him to make the Salaah (prayer). Aboo Daawood (
 א
)
has said (1/ no. 495): It has been related to us by Mu’mil bin Hishaammeaning al-Yushkaree that is has been related to us by Ismaa’eel on Siwaar bin Abee Hamzahand Aboo Daawood stated: He is Siwaar bin Daawood Aboo Hamzah al-Miznee as-Sayrafee on
1
 
Related by 
Bukhaaree
and
Muslim
 
2
 
Related by 
Bukhaaree
and
Muslim
and
Muslim
is unique with this wording from the Hadeeth of ‘Umar bin al-Khattaab
 
3
 
Its source has preceded in the prior Hadeeth
 

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