physics jokes ala Stephen Hawking and more..
These come from The Nature of Space and Time. p21: I would have liked to draw you a four dimensional picture. However, government cuts havemeant that Cambridge university can afford only two dimensional screens. p39: One could imagine that particles and information could fall into these holes and get lost.Maybe that is where all those odd socks went. p40: Cosmology used to be considered a pseudo-science and the preserve of physicists who mayhave done useful work in their earlier years but who had gone mystic in their dotage. p57: Instead of cups falling off tables and getting broken, they would mend themselves and jump back on the table. If only real life were like that. p59: Cups would mend themselves and jump back on the table. People would get younger, notolder, as the universe got smaller again. It is not much good waiting for the universe to collapseagain to return to our youth because it will take too long. But if the arrow of time reverses whenthe universe contracts, it might also reverse inside black holes. However, I wouldn’t recommend jumping into a black hole as a way of prolonging one’s life. Now some jokes on my part. ;) .. As a preface, i admire Mr. Hawking Greatly; i don't see him as a'gimp'; he's probably one of the greatest thinkers of our time .. Someday, perhaps within hislifetime, we may develop a cure for his physical condition - perhaps something to do with stemcells .. We won't know unless we try .. So if i joke below "Mr. Hawking walks into a bar..", i'massuming a future where we've cured his physical condition.Stephen Hawking walks into an English pub. He sits down at the bar. He looks at the bartender.He clears his throat. The bartender asks: "Good morning Mr. Hawking, what can I get ya?" Hereplies: "I'll have a blackhole please." The bartender just stares at him. He speaks up: "It's a drink." The bartender just stares:"Um .. Sir, we only have antiphotons here."He walks to another pub .. He enters. He sits down at the bar. He looks at the bartender. He blurtsout before the bartender can say anything: "Got any blackholes here?" The bartender just stares .."Sorry Sir, only antiphotons here.." Scowling, Mr. Hawking rushes out..Mr. Hawking finds a pub down a gritty alley in a redlight district. There are hookers standingoutside the bar. They eye him admiringly. One of them puts her arms around his neck tickling hisstomach playfully. He glares at her. "They got any blackholes here
" She giggles and hugs him."Sure honey. We got blackholes here: charged, rotating, bare,.. take your pick." He sighs in relief.She pulls him into the darkened pub..As i was discussing with my family. There's one possibility Mr.Hawking didn't consider in histheoretical investigations of blackholes: the possibility they don't exist (in the way we currentlysurmise). He's spent a considerable portion of his professional career on them. Perhaps it might be an actual
to him if they
exist. He'd be free to do whatever he wanted .. From one