Introduction

Once while having an Out-of-Body experience, I was listening to a preacher giving a classic Hell-Fire and Brimstone sermon to his congregation. Telepathically, an Other-Dimensional-Being commented to me: Why do you humans dwell on the negatives? You kill all of your potentials . The story of my early life (the small portion I am sharing with you) is in part about potentials . It is about knocking down fences and expanding perimeters, or to paraphrase other explorers Boldly Going Where (few) Others Have Gone Before! One of the things that I have come to recognize is that no matter whom we are or what we think we know, we have at best in any single lifetime just scratched the surface of what there is to experience and know, of the world and dimensions around us. If we take a moment and think about the fact that there are close to 7 billion people on this small orb we call Earth . And we then think about how many of these Billions of people we actually know personally Well maybe, there might just be many individuals among us who are experiencing things that we have not yet dreamed of, as possible. And, becoming exposed to their experiences might give us pause to wonder about our own hidden potentials. Perhaps, even to consider taking the bold steps to become Explorers on a Cosmic Sea that will challenge all that we believe about ourselves, and what we accept as both accessible and achievable. So, I invite you now, to (hopefully) objectively, read this partial narrative of my youth. We all, of course, form uniquely personal feelings, inner dialogues, and images according to whatever colored lenses we are currently accepting as our view of the way things are for that is how things are for us here we rarely perceive more than glimpses of the underlying reality we swim in.

(Note: Please do not assume I am promoting myself as an authority on anything Back in the spring of 1969, I had an experience that reset the focus of my life. What I am doing here is sharing with you my experiences and some of the conclusions or ideas that came to me at the time these events were taking place way back there in the youth of my life. And in some places, I will share later realizations that I acquired as I gained further experience in later years. As much as I have strived for it, I am aware that my interpretations of what I have experienced do not always represent the True underlying reality of what took place. The best I can offer is my interpretation of the experiences of my life; which I know to be imperfect; subject to either change and/or greater clarification, as I continue to grow into a greater understanding of all things. Direct experience is a wonderful teacher, but it doesn t always come in a manifestation, that includes an illumination that is wholly understood or appreciated by the mind at the physical level of awareness.) (Additional Note: Most of the names of the roll players on the stage of my life have been changed, to respect their privacy. Also, this is my story, my experiences, my interpretations, and they do NOT necessarily reflect those of any other individual, group, or institution. Also: In this book I have made occasional use of certain terms (Eckankar, Eck, Mahanta, Soul Travel, and Vairagi) that are trademarks of ECKANKAR. This does not imply any endorsement or sponsorship by ECKANKAR. I have intended only to make a fair use of such terms, recognizing that the rights to their trademark usage belong entirely to ECKANKAR.)
********************************

Early On
Most of my childhood was spent growing up in rural southern Oregon. While serving in World War II, my Dad had sent most of his pay home to his Dad, Oliver, who then (at my Dad s request) purchased a small ranch with about 40 acres of home, barn, and fields. Along with this, Dad had acquired approximately 4000 acres of mountainous timber land. All, of which, was located just outside the small historic town of Jacksonville. Our family did not have a television until I was five years old. It came without a color picture every program in black & white. Dad didn t think much of television. So, we didn t get to watch a lot of it. My favorite TV program was a western series called: Hopalong Cassidy which was based on the books and stories created in 1904 by Clarence E. Mulford. Hopalong Cassidy was one of the good guys who wore a big white hat and road a beautiful white horse. Watching him meet out justice to the rustlers, bandits, and other no-good varmints; was inspirational fodder, for my young mind. My younger brother (Donnie) and I spent most of our time outdoors. The ranch house sat on a high hill with surrounding pastures of green grass. There were lots of cows, horses, a dog, a cat and one large Bull. Adults could not get close to the Bull without serious concern for their well being, but Donnie and I could ride him (when we could find him near a fence long enough to climb onto his back). One of our favorite games was to play on his back and slide down over his big head while he was down on the ground resting and chewing his cud. He just ignored us and our antics. Gold had been discovered in and around Jacksonville, back in the 1850 s. When I was about six years old, dad got the itch to become a Miner & Prospector. This arose, no doubt, from conversations with the Old Timers who still goldpanned for bits of color in local streams, or who on summer days, reminisced

with the occasional avid listener, as their old bones savored the warm benches, scattered around Jacksonville. Dad went on several prospecting trips to the deserts of southeastern Oregon and into the state of Nevada. Soon he sold the 40 acre ranch. Then our family journeyed to Nevada and we moved around the state; while dad dabbled in mining for uranium, silver, gold, and other rare minerals. This was for the most part something of an adventure; because, we often lived 50 to 100 miles from the nearest town. For a while, our Mom home schooled my brother and me. We studied a little each morning, and roamed the sage covered desert and mountains all afternoon. We lived in various mobile homes during those few years and then due to lack of success in the mining business, we moved back to Medford, Oregon when I was 9 or 10. Within a couple years, Mom & Dad had had a nice home built on Walker Creek . It was located on the southeast corner of the timber land they still owned outside Jacksonville. It was a beautiful location overlooking the City of Medford, in the Rogue Valley. Soon after we had returned from Nevada, my Dad had gone back to logging his timber-land. He started training Donnie and me (at age 10 & 11) in the fine art of setting chokers (heavy duty steel cables wrapped around and attached to logs for skidding or dragging via a large bulldozer to a loading site called a landing ). Dad began teaching me how to load a logging truck just before my 12th birthday and Donnie about a year or so later. It was hard dangerous work for an adult. It was more so for my brother and I because of our limited strength and stature. By the time we had 3 or 4 years of experience (and had grown a bit) we could keep up with most adults at setting chokers and load a logging truck well enough to teach the (often in-experienced) truck drivers how to do it right (when necessary). The day President John F. Kennedy was assassinated I heard the news with my classmates during my morning English class. A couple hours later, I caught a ride with a log-truck driver up into the mountains, to Dad s logging site at Lilly
4

Prairie . So, I got the chance to tell Dad the tragic news. He had a shocked look of disbelief on his face, and then it was back to work as we loaded another logging truck. Life went on Our summers, during our teen years, were spent logging or off in the mountains of northern California gold mining with our dad, hauling hay and sacking feed in our grandfather s feed mill, or swimming with friends or cousins either in our grandparents swimming pool or out in the Applegate River. Mom had started working about the time we returned from Dad s mining odyssey. While I was in high school she worked for Rogue Valley Hospital in Medford. Usually, my brother and I got out of school in the early afternoons. When we were not working, we would have use of the family Volkswagen Bug and would drive over to the hospital, to wait for her to get off work. Sometimes, during the wait, I would get a copy of the local newspaper. So as to catch up on the comics, movie listings, or to generally peruse anything else that might be of interest. On one such afternoon, I noticed a short article describing the research Dr. Charles Tart was doing at a university in California. He was getting student volunteers to participate in an experiment, in which; the students would leave their physical bodies and travel to a distant location to observe, and then return to their bodies to describe what they had seen. The article may have called it Astral Projection , but it has been so long that I no longer recall much detail. What I do recall, is that; after reading the article, I had a gut feeling that this was possible. Somehow, I just knew that this ability to travel outside of the physical body was real.

First Flight
About two years later, I found myself in the Marine Corp stationed at Camp H.M. Smith, Oahu, Hawaii, and working in the base Communications Center. At that time I was feeling home sick ( love sick for my girlfriend), and I just
5

happened to remember having read this article about Astral Projection, in the newspaper back before joining the Marines. Being the impetuous young lad that I was, I immediately decided that this was a great idea! All I had to do was get out of my physical body and travel home to see my loved ones! It came to me (just as quickly) how I was going to accomplish this feat Self Hypnosis . When I was about age 14, I had seen one of those advertisements in a comic book offering to teach the art of Control over Others by using the mysterious power of hypnosisp. I had sent away for the book on hypnosis with the intent of using hypnosis on my parents. What I hoped to do, in my nave way; was make them get along with each other. At 14, this was well before I understood the meaning or the karmic consequences of mentally controlling or manipulating others against their will, a.k.a. Black Magic . After receiving and reading the hypnosis book, I had quickly discovered that what I had hoped to use it for just would not work. But, I had learned something of the methodology of doing self hypnosis. Until that point (in Hawaii), I had never done anything with self hypnosis, but I recalled the general idea of how to go about doing it. At that time, I was working in the Communications Center for 12 hours on and 12 hours off. My sleep time began around noon. So, I began to get into my bunk every day and practice putting myself into a light hypnotic trance state gradually going into a deeper, more relaxed state. Once that I had assured myself, that I was able to put myself into some-kind of trance-like state, I began working on giving myself instructions to leave my body and make the journey home to visit or at least look in on my loved ones. After diligently practicing every day for a couple weeks, and not accomplishing what I had set out to do, I decided to skip my usual hypnotic exercise and just go right to sleep. Unbeknownst to myself at that time, I had (through the process of
6

daily repetition repeating the same affirmation to leave my body ) imprinted this intention upon my sub-conscious. By the cession or letting go of this daily imprinting; the Creative Life Force was able to flesh out the matrix (idea or image) held within the sub-conscious. So, as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out of my physical body and hovering high above the island of Oahu. My senses pegged-off the Life Experience Chart! Floating! Right-BrainedChildlike Wonder filled me as I felt Wind Molecules and Light Photons caressing me. The panorama of Greens & Blues of the islands and ocean below me was Incandescently Bright and Beautiful. All thoughts of my girlfriend and journeying home were completely forgotten, as my awareness took in the Wonder of the Scenery, and the Ecstasy I felt come, with the Freedom of FLYING! Never, had I experienced anything So Real and Energizing! Until that very moment in my life, I had not (to my recollection) had a life enhancing event that was even remotely close to what this vivid experience provided. Almost immediately, I decided to start flying across the ocean. To my surprise, as quickly as I thought it I found myself flying out over it, but not following the curve of the earth. Instead, I was moving in a straight line horizontally over the ocean and straight out into space at something that was faster than light-speed! In a moment of time, I passed the moon far enough away to see most of its circumference yet, easily noting the sharp detail of the cratered surface. My awareness seemed to be functioning as fast I was flying! Even though I passed the moon in a micro-second; I recall that it felt like I was (just) casually thinking, There is the moon . In the next instant, I found myself approaching a mass of floating rocks of various sizes. It was the Asteroid Belt . In a moment, I realized I was on a collision course with one large asteroid! Then in another nanosecond-of-time, I remembered (from a few years earlier) having read how the (DC Comics) Super Hero, The Flash had found himself in a similar situation. Only he was on a collision course with a tree. In an instant of time, before he had run into the tree, he had decided to try causing his body to vibrate at a super fast speed. Doing
7

that; allowed him to pass right through the molecular structure of the tree unharmed. So in that similar experience, I decided in an instant, to do the same thing, but I just had time to think faster . Then (out of fear), I closed off my vision; as I sped up and into the asteroid And as I passed through the solid rock, there was a burst of reddish yellow light, as I sailed through the glowing field of atomic particles. Then, there was darkness and a continued Sense that I was still traveling at tremendous speed. It occurred to me, that: 1. I was still alive, and 2. I still had my eyes closed. As quickly as I thought to myself that; I should stop and look around I did. The view before me was filled with the vast darkness of space and the brilliance of countless stars. Then I noticed just off to my right there was a small planet-like orb that looked somewhat of a soft-dull orange color, with mountains covered with clear crystalline ice. With this Knowing Awareness, I simply looked at it, and with an easy sense of surety, thought; There s Pluto as if I had seen it many times before. Slowly, I pivoted around to look back at where I had journeyed from. All I could see were more stars, but also immediately, I recognized our sun, and I noted how much smaller it looked from that far away. It was much bigger than any other star, and it looked more white than yellow. As I took that Grand Vista all in, I thought to myself, I have to go back . Instantly, I was back hovering in the sky above the island of Oahu. In another second, I jerked awake in my physical body, back in the barracks, and WOW was I ever EXCITIED! In the overflow of my exhilaration, I had to tell all my buddies about my initial experience of traveling to Pluto. The responses I received caught me off-guard and left me somewhat chagrined. Some thought I had obviously drunk too much
8

or perhaps had gotten high on something. The oldest (being all of 26) and the one I respected as being the wisest of the group, finally (with great disgust) said: You will never be anything but a dreamer . That hurt, but much later I would come to view that remark as both prophetic and a compliment. As I recall it, that experience had taken place in early spring of 1969 just a couple months before Astronaut Neal Armstrong planted that One Small Step for Man on the surface of the moon. I still remember sitting with the men in the barracks, watching the lunar landing, and thinking that I had just had my own up close and personal experience, of seeing those moon craters. Though I did not continue with the hypnotic exercises that initially opened the way to the O.B.E. (out of body experience); over the next several weeks, I continued to have spontaneous journeys Each time though, instead of finding myself hovering over the Hawaiian Islands, I would suddenly find myself; deep out into the galaxy, just speeding along, with a sense that I was returning to my physical body. Just as quickly, I would be back in my physical body wondering where I had been returning from on those apparently, distant journeys. The most important benefit of that initial experience was in the solid realization that I was more than just a physical being . Also, I began to believe that there was an afterlife , and it would be lived in that strange and wonderful Astral Body . My experiment with Astral Projection had failed to get the desired result of going home to see my girlfriend and family. However, it had opened a doorway (that opened my mind) to a whole lot of questions that needed answers.

You Fool
In August of that summer, I took leave to rush home to see my girlfriend. We had planned to marry. I was deeply in love with her and had no intention of losing her just because we were not able to be together, at least not yet. She had
9

started seeing someone else and I had spent some time with another young lady in Hawaii, but I really felt I wanted to do whatever I could to make my relationship with my girlfriend work out. It was August 30th and I had turned 20 years old on the 1st of that month. My girlfriend was avoiding me and so I decided to go out and drown my sorrows with my buddies. One of them lived and worked out in Prospect a small mountain town located about 50 miles north of Medford. After drinking most of the night I drove him to Prospect and headed home to my dad s place outside of Jacksonville. There was nobody on the highway, and I was having great fun racing & weaving down the mountain road that runs next to the wild Rogue River. The last thing I remembered was driving through the small town of Eagle Point The next thing, I was aware of, was that something was getting my attention by jerking on my upper lip. Also, my mouth felt thickly swollen, and I could taste blood and wine. There were voices and a bright light that I could just see out of a slit in the one eye that wasn t swollen completely shut. I slurred out: I guess I was in an accident . The emergency room doctor laughed as he continued to stitch together the cuts in my upper and lower lip, and said, Yes, I d say you were! Over the next few days and weeks, I gathered in all the information on the accident . The last thing I had recalled was driving through Eagle Point. My collision was about 4 a.m. in front of the local supermarket, in Jacksonville (which was about eighteen miles further). I d completely wrapped my dad s brand new Volkswagen Beetle around a telephone pole. It had taken them 45 minutes to cut me out of the car. My lower right eyesocket bone was broken. My nose was crushed. My lower front teeth had been sheared off at gum level and my upper front teeth broken. My body and face had multiple glass cuts. There had been a knife-like piece of glass, stuck deep into the flesh, two inches below my right knee. Also, in the crash, my right leg had broken between my hip and knee and had been pushed up over my shoulder.
10

As they had wheeled me out of the emergency room, I had caught sight of my dad and my new step-Mother. Dad looked white as a ghost. It struck me then (for the first time in a long time) that he really did love me. We had argued a lot over many things, and I really had no appreciation (at that age) of what it was to be a parent. My brother Don and my Mom were living and working up in Seattle, Washington. They made the journey down to Medford (probably in record time). Lots of family and friends came to see me, even my now ex-girlfriend. The first thing she said as she came into my room was: You fool! That, pretty much summed up the whole experience. Perhaps, if I had not had the experience, a few months earlier, of getting outside my physical body; I would not have dealt with my injuries so calmly. There was never any doubt in my mind that I would be ok. After a day or so (waiting for some of the swelling to go down), the doctors operated. They put braces on my teeth and wired my upper and lower jaw together. Then, they drilled tiny holes on each side of my head, just behind both eye sockets, and ran wires down inside my mouth; using the combination of my skull bone and the braces on my teeth, as a structural anchor for my broken lower eye-socket bone. So, I looked something like Dr. Frankenstein s monster with wires sticking out of the side of my temples. The surgeons put a long polished metal rod down inside my broken right leg. They did that, by cutting an opening in my hip and running the rod down inside the bone, almost to the knee. No cast. Just the rod and a lot of stitches (running down the right side of my leg) where they went in and sorted out pieces and matched up the lower femur bone, with the upper. The rod had to be left in place for one year. My jaws were wired together for about 2 months, and it took a month or so, after that; before I could really open my mouth to chew normally again. By then, sucking up soup (through the hole where my front teeth had been) was getting a bit old, and I was really having serious burger & steak fantasies.
11

About 30 days after my accident, I had to appear in Jacksonville City Court for the $50 speeding ticket that the local Chief of Police had issued me. Fortunately, the Police Chief was a long time family friend. The judge commented that (considering my estimated speed of 70 miles per hour at the time of impacting the telephone pole) the citation fine was unusually small , but as he looked at what condition the accident had left me in, he said something like: You appear to have paid sufficiently . The Marine Corp was kind enough not to bother court marshaling me for damaging government property (said property being: my physical body). After a couple months, they sent new duty orders; sending me to the Bremerton Naval Station which is about an hour (by ferry) west of Seattle, Washington. While I continued to recover, I was attached to the Marine barracks, and became an Out-Patient to the Naval Hospital on base. I would no longer be headed for Vietnam (in 6 months) with the rest of my platoon; so my buddies had packed my gear in Hawaii and shipped it to me. By the time I got to the Naval Station, I had traded my crutches for a cane. Getting to stay so close to Seattle worked out very well. As I mentioned before, my Mom and brother were living and working in Seattle. So, it was real easy to commute by ferry to spend an evening with them. On weekends I would get Liberty and spend the entire weekend with them.

Time Traveler
One night, while sleeping in my rack in the Marine barracks, I once again spontaneously awakened in the midst of another Out-of Body experience. This time, I was flying or traveling in a place with no solid objects, such as: buildings or planets. There seemed (at first), to be nothing but sky, filled with light. Shortly, as I flew along, I noted that I was passing what looked like 2 3 long lines drawn with narrow golden strips of light hanging in the sky. And they appeared to be evenly spaced. My Awareness recognized these short lines as Markers in Time . Apparently, I had been Time Traveling, and these markers
12

were the means, that this; Higher Knowing Awareness was using to determine the appropriate off-ramp . Suddenly, I came to an abrupt stop at one of the lines. A circle of light formed under me. There was a sense of being drawn into the man-hole sized ring. A sudden fear of the unknown caused me to feel that if I went down into that circle I would surely die . Fear seized me! The next thing I recalled was being back in my physical body. I was aware that I was on my stomach, unable to move a muscle, and thus panicky sweating profusely, with a growing fear. I felt like screaming for help, but couldn t make more than a gurgling sound pass my lips. That paralysis lasted for what seemed an eternity though was probably only about a minute. (Note: Years later, I would come to find out that this kind of temporary paralysis is a common experience had by people around the world. It is a natural occurrence that is often experienced as one is either getting ready to leave the physical body or having just returned to it. The experience often includes sensations of vibrating and various sounds, such as; an electrical-like humming, buzzing, various nature sounds or musical instruments. This experience is usually met with fear, because in our society; we do not commonly receive instruction in the nature of our own Spirituality.) This experience had scared me. For a year or so, after that incident, I felt (erroneously) that I would have died had I gone into that hole in the sky . (What I now know, is that; I did go into that hole , as that was how I reentered the physical body and have done so repeatedly many times since. It is a kind of death to have to return to the physical body after experiencing the Life enhancing freedom, found outside of it.) Gradually, my thigh bone healed to the point that after a couple months in Bremerton I threw away the cane I had been using to help support my leg. Shortly, I was given written orders to go to the Marine Corp Air Station in Yuma, Arizona to continue my enlisted tour of duty. Again, I was attached to the base Communications Center.
13

The metal rod, (that I still had inside my right femur bone) had been a minor irritation to my hip ever since it had been inserted. The doctors had intended for it to be removed after 1 year. So, they had left the tip of the rod sticking out of the top end of the bone about an eighth of an inch for future ease of extraction. By the end of August of 1970, I was due to have the rod removed. The base doctor sent me over to the Naval Hospital in San Diego, for the extraction.

Hidden Knowledge
It was while I was at the Naval Hospital that I visited a small gift shop. On a tall, rotatable book rack, I discovered my first book on the occult (hidden knowledge), called: The Unobstructed Universe , by Stewart White. My limited knowledge and experience with religion had consisted (up until this point) of occasional conversations with religious friends and the Christian Bible stories that a lady had presented on a felt-covered story-board while I was attending Jacksonville s grade school. Many stories from the Bible had been shared and I had enjoyed them. Also, after my first experience of Astral Traveling in Hawaii, I had frequently pestered my (few) religious buddies about possible knowledge their respective religions might have on this experience. That, had not provided the kind of meaningful insight I needed, but had demonstrated that their religious instruction had (for some reason) left them both close-minded and fearful of unknown things such as the Out-Of-Body experience. It had not ever occurred to me to scour libraries for information on Astral Projection, and libraries continued to remain off my radar for many years. In my mind, if religion didn t speak of Traveling beyond the physical body (which obviously, to me, seemed related to an Afterlife ) then there wasn t much hope of getting much information elsewhere. Well I was mistaken, and meanwhile, here I had found a book in a gift shop that described the experiences of a man whose wife had passed-on and

14

was communicating her experience of the After-Life and Astral Realms, back to him. It was exciting to have some kind of basic knowledge, to study, that had a connection to (at least) some of what I had directly experienced (while out-ofbody) and sincerely hoped to understand in much greater detail.

Home Again
About ten months later, I finished my four year enlistment and received my Honorable Discharge from the Marines. After which, I spent a little over a month living in San Luis (Mexico) with a young woman that I hoped to marry, but (again) it didn t work out. Then, I made my way back home to Jacksonville. Just in time, to watch my Dad and step-Mother, finish getting ready to leave for a (five year long) gold prospecting adventure in Central and South America. Dad had sold the house on Walker Creek. He had then rented a small house in Jacksonville. My brother, Don had moved back to the area and was living there with my Dad and our step-Mother. Since Dad and his wife were headed off (in their modified camper) to points far south of the border it would be just Don and I living in the rented house. So, it was about August of 1971, and I was feeling determined to begin exploring the ancient Spiritual concept behind Know Thyself . My long time friend, Sam, was also beginning to delve into his own Inner voyage of Self discovery. As we had no road map to follow, we began looking into alternative paradigms, which we gleaned from books most of which, we found in newly opening bookstores. We were looking for writings that promoted thinking outside the norms of the structured mental conditioning we had grown up with. We read books like: BE HERE NOW by Baba Ram Dass, a.k.a. Dr. Richard Alpert, PSYCIC DISCOVERIES BEHIND THE IRON CURTIN by Sheila Ostrander & Lynn Schroeder, WINGED PHARAOH by Joan Grant, The Song of God
15

BHAGAVAD-GITA by Swami Prabhavananda & Christopher Isherwood, THE TIBETAN BOOK OF THE DEAD by W.Y. Evans-Wentz, THE THIRD EYE by T. Lobsang Rampa, and on & on Almost immediately, after I had gotten back home that summer, Dad and his wife had taken off for South America. So, Don took over their bedroom, and I took over the slightly smaller bedroom he had used. Right away, I started making adjustments to the bedroom to meet my interests. So, I added an old water bed (of Sam s) that sat flat on the floor, added a Black light to properly illuminate the really cool psychedelic posters I had collected, and carefully covered the windows so that no light could enter the room from outside, at night As a part of my (semi-scientific) effort to explore my Inner nature and the Astral Traveling experiments I was engaging in I had completely covered the windows. So that whatever I saw in my room during the night (when the lights were out), could not be misconstrued as simply being light distortions coming from outside.

Early Experiments
Sometime in the fall of 1971, I began experimenting in earnest with altered states of awareness. With next to no real understanding of the subject, nor training on how to go about it, I began to put myself into a deep trance state. I would lie on my bed and focus as intently as I could on a spot between my eyes (as I had done with the earlier hypnosis experiment only without the hypnosis suggestions). This I did for some duration, and my body would gradually become rigid and very cold as my heart beat slowed way down. Then, I would reach out with my mind into the universe and ask for help. Help to know Absolute Truth . Shortly, sub-astral entities would surround my bed. They appeared white and ghostly, but human-like in form. This never frightened me. They would just stand around my bed and look down at me.
16

I would reach out to them (with my thoughts) and say: If you can give me Absolute Truth, please help me, but if you cannot help me in my quest, then you can leave, because I do not wish to be bothered by you . This went on for several weeks. Until, one night (as I focused on reaching out for help), a Luminous Being appeared that was completely different, than the earlier ghostly apparitions. This Personage was far more substantial looking. This Being s head nearly touched the ceiling. (The next day, I borrowed Don s tape measure, to see exactly how high the bedroom ceiling was. It was approximately ten feet). The Radiant Being had a monks robe on. The cowl of his robe made it too dark to see his face, as he looked down at me, on my bed The dark bedroom was filled & illuminated with the most Beautiful Royal Blue Light emanating from this Being. He did not say a word, and I was so surprised by his sudden appearance, that I didn t speak to him. He left as silently as he had appeared after about 15 to 30 seconds. Needless to say, I was excited by this encounter. Someone had heard my call for Absolute Truth . Who was He I wondered? What did this event mean for me? Would He return? Would He teach me? Things rapidly began to change for me. Now, when I went into a book store seeking fodder for new insights, I felt guided to read certain books. This guiding to a preferred reading list culminated in a special introduction, a few months later

Guidance
It was January of 1972. There was a new book store on East Main, in Medford. The owner had started carrying a few books on the occult, psychology, and Eastern & Western religions. On one cool but sunny day, I was walking by the bookstore. I was tempted to go in and browse the section where the owner presented the kinds of books I was interested in, but I recalled that I had just been in a couple days earlier so I walked on by the storefront.
17

Immediately, I felt a hand on my right shoulder. Gently, but firmly, the hand turned me around and guided me back to the store and inside to a book rack. One that, I didn t usually peruse. There on the shelf, I saw, two books. Even, as I reached out to touch them I Knew, that this was THE Path I had been seeking my access to Absolute Truth . The two books were: IN MY SOUL I AM FREE by Brad Steiger and ECKANKAR, KEY TO SECRET WORLDS by Paul Twitchell. The bookstore owner came over (after recognizing me) and said; I just got those in and just set them out, a few moments ago . Quite eagerly, I purchased both books. In My Soul I Am Free turned out to be a biography of Paul Twitchell , the Founder of the modern day teaching of Eckankar. The book, ECKANKAR, Key to Secret Worlds was in turn written by Paul Twitchell on the teachings of ECKANKAR, the Ancient Science of Soul Travel . (Note: A few months later, I learned that Paul Twitchell had passed away, in 1971)

Dream Work
Also, in January of 1972, I began to write down a few of my nightly dreams. My first recorded dream was about destruction, earthquakes, and volcanic action . Though at the time I took the dream literally as being a prophetic dream of coming catastrophes these particular Inner experiences, were actually, only a reflection of the rapid Inner (and outer) changes I was experiencing in my life, at that time. Often now, I would become aware (while sleeping) that I was dreaming. And once I became aware that I was dreaming; I found I could take control (to varying degrees) of my dream experience. Occasionally, I was able to expand my awareness to the point that I would experience a Lucid Dream . (Note: In a Lucid Dream, what you experience is often more of a real sensory experience than your normal waking state. There is more Life Energy and Color
18

to everything. Truly prophetic dreams usually come in the form of Lucid Dreams. Though, not all Lucid Dreams are involved with prophecy. In my experience, Dreams are REAL. The dream realms are actual places. The degree of our perception (or clarity) of these experiences varies. For example: an ordinary dream may often be filled with strange twists on everyday reality. This is due to the censoring or filtering (of the underlying reality) of what we are seeing in the dream . My observation is that this censoring or filtering (of real experiences), is instilled at the physical, emotional, causal, and mental levels of our perception. My experiences with this filtering process have led me to consider, that; this Veil is mostly a protective mechanism. It prevents us from becoming aware of most experiences and/or any accompanying knowledge that might cause an overly dramatic shift in our view of the universe, and thus; leave us in an unbalanced emotional and mental state. Other examples of what I believe this censor attempts to block are: physical, emotional, and mental traumas. Also, Past-Life experiences, and After-Life experiences, meaning: the memories of the Life lived in Higher Vibratory States (Heavenly Realms) between earthly incarnations. When we reach a point that we feel compelled from Within to explore the nature of our own Spirituality; we begin to confront this censoring of knowledge. This happens when we begin to seek answers to: Who we are, What we are doing here, and, Where we go when we leave here.)

Get a Job!
A few months later (if I recall correctly it was in the spring of 1972) that my Uncle Ray contacted me and invited me to join him for lunch. My brother, Don, worked under Ray at a steel fabrication plant. Ray was the shop production supervisor. He had hired Don about a year and a half, earlier.
19

After feeling me out, Ray offered me a job as a Shipping Helper with the condition that I put forth my best foot and be a hard worker as whatever I did, would reflect back on him, for having hired me. So, I agreed to do my best and accepted his offer. The Plant was fabricating canopies for bulldozers, log forks for loaders; that loaded and unloaded logs from trucks, and a variety of other fabricated pieces, for heavy equipment. The job of the Shipping Helper was (in part) to keep the production welding shop supplied with raw material to cut , shape, and weld into a finished product. We used several different sized forklifts to move the variety of heavy items around the shipping lot and inside the fabrication plant. Following a shipping list, we gathered the various parts that would be shipped out with each canopy or log fork. Using a varying combination of forklifts or cranes; we loaded the canopies and log forks with their parts into box trailers or onto flatbed trailers. Loading a large flat bed truck was almost like assembling a large piece of metallic artwork. Every piece had to fit just so to balance the load and prevent damage to the paint and glass, especially on the enclosed canopies . My brother, Don supervised most of our loading; as he was quite skilled at visualizing and directing which pieces should go where. When I now look back and recall that period in my life there was so much rushed activity in our lives! This included various pursuits with friends and most every weekend was an excuse to get drunk and party. We worked hard, played hard, and through it all I continued pursuing and expanding my Inner Search.

Getting the Feel

Along with all the reading on esoteric practices and thinking about having outof-body adventures throughout my day, I would spend time every night before drifting off to sleep visualizing: floating up out of my physical body and/or
20

repeating thoughts like: When I fall asleep, I will awaken at the foot of the bed in my Astral Body or I will become aware that I am out-of-body while I am dreaming . Sometimes, after partially waking from a dream, I would be able to stay both aware and calm enough to consciously separate from my physical shell. This I facilitated by stilling my thoughts and imagining myself floating up to the ceiling. At that point (when I was successful), I would then move up through the ceiling slowly, so as to look at and feel the atomic structure of the wooden rafters as I passed through them. Once outside of the house, I would fly up over Jacksonville. At night, my Astral vision could see in the darkness around me as though it were twilight. One of my favorite things was to fly over the bigger, better sized trees in town The first time I did this, gave me quite a surprise! As I flew directly over a large tree, the Energy it was giving off literally buoyed me up higher into the sky. It was somewhat like riding in a hot air balloon and getting a sudden blast of heated air that lifted me up, swiftly. The Tree s Life Force Energy had a very positive feel to it. Occasionally, I would experiment walking through the walls of buildings, houses, glass doors, windows, and even underground. Everything I moved through had a different vibrational quality to it. Glass especially fascinated me. Sometimes, I would stand in front of a glass door and just put my hand and arm through the glass, over and over. It felt so strange (perhaps, because of its thinness) to feel the atomic structure of the glass rubbing against the atoms of my Astral arm (or body) as I penetrated it. It was not unpleasant, just fascinating. When I moved into other (close) Levels of Reality, I would occasionally meet a few people, and if I had gone to bed drunk as I did on most weekends I would usually run into a host of negative critters, whose home turf I had unwittingly been drawn into because, my indulgences generated a vibratory frequency
21

(within me) that corresponded to the lower, negative regions (sub-astral realms), of the Mansions of God . Gaining regular access to the Higher Purer Realms of Spirit would come later, as I gradually cleaned up my act, and earned the privilege, of visiting those Heavens .

Experiencing Christ Consciousness

Dream Journal Entry May 2nd 1972 (from my original hand-written notes) In one dream I had encountered a young woman who had been terrorized by something . At that point I had woken to go relieve my bladder, and as I returned to bed I wondered to myself What could terrorize anyone as this young woman was? And I decided I d destroy it if I met it in the next dream. So, I fell back to sleep and a bunch of us were playing over by the old Jacksonville High School football field. Suddenly, all the girls were running and screaming: The Monster is here! This hairy thing was about 10-12 feet high. I don t remember exactly what it looked like other than it stood on two feet, as it charged out onto the field. I flew up into the air just out of its reach. Don did the same. We attacked it by flying at it real fast, trying to knock it over. Not having much experience at controlling our astral bodies we missed it a lot. Until, I finally stopped way out field took aim (so to speak), and flew in for a flying tackle, which worked. I up-ended it and then, on a spontaneous impulse, I joined minds with it to have a battle of the will to see who would destroy the other Being. We were wrapped in darkness. I could feel the evil force trying to rule my mind. There was no fear in me, such as; I have known in the past when faced with the devil s own. Realizing the possible extent of this evil power, I immediately called upon my Overself, my Soul, and through them to the Christ, and through the Christ to God. The Power was immediate. It (God s Power) surged through me, and simultaneously an image of Jesus, the Christ appeared. The battle was finished.
22

The evil darkness was swept away, and I maintained a Holy Cross and an image of Jesus, the Christ in my mind, to free myself from all possible harm. I awoke. I prayed to my Overself, my Soul, the Christ, and God. There was an intense flash of White Light I knew I had been heard. (End of Dream Journal Entry) (Note: Since Don and I had both begun to realize the potential benefits of sharing our nightly excursions, we had spoken about this particular night of experiences. Much to our surprise, we had both recalled being together; out on this field in Jacksonville. There are still some cultures, in the world, that make it a practice of sharing their nightly Inner experiences, usually over breakfast. Cultures or families that discuss their dream-time with each other, usually find it mutually beneficial (and often entertaining), for all. It is quite common for husbands and wives, siblings, and other family members to share the same dream landscapes and adventures. This can expand considerably when individuals choose to work towards a common goal of Inner growth and greater understanding.)
************************************************

(Note: At this point in my youth, I still had not successfully de-programmed my old thinking pattern, which still held the illusory viewpoint of speaking or thinking in terms of my Soul or having a Soul . Like most everyone, I was informed at birth (and ever-afterwards) by my parents, family, friends, and society; that I was Somebody . This externally promoted self Identity developed swiftly into a real personality. And, like most other people, I did not question this programming. Rather, I had accepted and continued to emotionally & mentally nurture this false perspective.

23

As I gradually had more Out-of-Body experiences, this programming began to break down, and I began gradually Awakening to the Greater Reality: that I was Soul, a Spiritual Being wearing a physical body, like a garment.)
*************************************************

As I began to recall my dreams in greater and greater detail I began to recognize that my everyday thoughts, words, and actions were often reflected in whatever dimension or realm I later found myself in during the dream time . As illustrated here Dream Journal Entry June 15th 1972 I m writing about this on a Sunday, 3 days after the fact (so to speak). I had over eaten, over indulged in food & drink (protein drink & iced tea). I was also sore from karate practice. The result was (after going to sleep) I was plunged into the sub-astral to suffer a vast variety of illusory hells (nightmares) caused by my over indulgencies. Every time I started suffering greatly, I prayed or rather said the Lord s Prayer over & over. I even tried imagining images of Jesus, the Christ & His Golden Cross. These concentrations, on The Christ Consciousness, resulted in only changing the place & type of torture. I d suddenly be someplace else and soon I d be being tortured (again). As usual, I was trying to indulge in women (sexually) and to my horror they (the women) became monsters which tormented me for my lustful actions. After many hours of this suffering (which I endured because of my ego s lust for various indulgences) I was switched (moved) to a dark cavern. I was lying on my back and something was dragging me. At the same time, I was becoming consciously aware of my predicament in these (various) hells and I decided I was going to fight this creature (whatever it was) which had its fingers linked through mine. I started to struggle. I looked up to see what was dragging me because the fingers it' had, felt so small. It was a little girl! I looked into her eyes and she was
24

obviously under the Kal Power or negative force of the evil ones (that is where she got the strength to pull me). I immediately relaxed (my intended struggle) and let her drag me. In the second I relaxed realized her position (her plight); I felt real true deep compassion for this little girl whom had been possessed by the Kal (negative) Force. At that same instant with that true compassion for another Being (other than thinking of self) I received The Christ Consciousness. Of course, it came in the form of an image (Creative Vision), my consciousness could comprehend, but it truly was Real and Beautiful. From in front of me (from a great distance) and up at a 45 degree angle, came an Image of Jesus sitting with his disciples at the table of The Last Supper . They were all covered in Silvery Blue White Light. The Image seemed to be coming straight at me. It was, as though, I was seeing (the same) huge photograph, lighting up (one in front of the other) in a straight line, moving at great speed coming at me until, we merged, as One. The (negative) illusions ended. The suffering ended. I woke, prayed, slept, and had no more so called nightmares . (End of Dream Journal Entry)
****************************************

(Note: Even though I had found what I knew in my Heart to be my Path in the teachings of Eckankar, the Ancient Science of Soul Travel I really had no appreciation (at that point in time) for what that meant; or for what it would bring into my life. So, even as I began reading the Eckankar books on Soul Travel and Expanded States of Consciousness, I had as yet; not formed any solid Spiritual Foundation to use as a guide to my Inner explorations. Nor had I established a conscious connection with the Living Eck Master, the Mahanta which would have afforded me all the guidance and protection, I needed. Thus, due to my limited knowledge and understanding; I simply used what I had learned during my life (up to that point), as a means to relate to the Extra25

ordinary things happening in my Inner Life. Basically, I was making due, with the little bits of mostly hear-say that I had gathered from listening to others or from reading various works, neither of which offered the Illumination of direct experience. In my limited outer exposure to the Christian beliefs, I had heard and read two phrases that I felt had great significance, and which appeared to provide an added measure of conformation that my efforts to journey into the Inner Realms had true merit. And these guiding words were: Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33 KJV) and The Kingdom of God is within you (Luke 17:21 KJV). Some months prior to the Inner experiences of May 2nd & June 15th, I had twice experienced what I knew to be the Christ Consciousness . In both instances I had an Out-of-Body experience in which I was suddenly confronted with a choice: either I would live or someone else would In both instances, I chose with no time available to think about it to sacrifice my own life; so that another might live The result of both of these Inner experiences had been to immediately find myself lifted up (in Consciousness) and placed in an Omni-present Rose-Pink Colored Sea of Love-Light-Energy. And each time after being fully immersed within this Nurturing Essence I returned to my physical body with a sense of knowing, that I had had the experience of Christ Consciousness. The fact that I had not been raised as a Christian, nor even thought of myself as a Christian had, in every way, made these Inner experiences, all the more profound, even Sacred to me. It created a Loving Bond between myself and the Christ Consciousness that I trusted and relied upon (especially for protection), at that early point in my Inner Spiritual experience(s) and growth. Later, I would learn that I had already established a great love for The Christ as a Christian Monk, in an earlier Incarnation, but I did not, at this point in my life, recall that past-life, nor could I use the knowledge of it to directly help me

26

determine what these Wondrous experiences meant then or would mean in relation to what I was yet to experience, down the road. And because of my Inner experiences, I did not refer (as my Christian brothers did) to Jesus, as Jesus Christ . Instead, I was beginning to see Jesus, as the man, and The Christ as the Level of Spiritual Consciousness (Awareness), Soul Itself, had attained and functioned from with the outer man (Jesus) humbly becoming the vehicle for this Higher State of Spiritual Awareness. The Miracle of my Inner experience was that in spite of not being raised to believe in any singular variation, in interpretation, of the (written) Word of God , I had found (by journeying within ) the Greater Reality of the Living Word manifesting in the Holy Spirit (Light & Sound of God) and through It I had this personal Inner experience with the Christ Consciousness which was (for me) the 2nd Coming of Christ (which anyone could aspire to experiencing). A few years later, as I gained greater experience in the Higher Levels of Heaven, I had to acknowledge that the Christ Consciousness was actually a Gate Way, to even Higher States of Consciousness. Jesus likely, at some point, advanced into these Higher States of Awareness, but (apparently) left no account of it, with humanity Possibly because the consciousness of the society of two thousand years ago was so narrow, that it was pushing the limits of their understanding, to just give them simple moral principles and parables (with deeper hidden meanings), to mull over. After each Inner experience, with this Loving State of Christ Consciousness, I would awaken with high expectations. Expecting profound change to immediately manifest in my character, but there were no instant transformations from sinner to Saint . Over many years, I would come to recognize that radically swift transformations in the human consciousness might be possible, for some individuals, but these (from my observations) are more the exception, than the rule.
27

More often, Real Spiritual Change, is a slow and an often difficult process moved along more by our own individual readiness for that shift in viewpoint than by a rigid Spiritual protocol, that would force us to become something we are not emotionally or mentally prepared for. With the right guidance and direct Inner experience, Soul often awakens swiftly, but the outer man/woman ego-awareness, cannot keep pace with the Inner Self, Soul. Awakening to our own Spirituality, requires great patience and persistence with all its Wonders & Joys; it is still a rough and rocky road to climb.)

Grandma Alice
It was in this general area of time that I had my first Out-of Body experience of visiting a family member (In Heaven ) after they had passed on . Back when I had still been in the Marines, my Grandmother, Alice had suffered with cancer to the point that she had no choice but to vacate her physical vessel. In my experience, I found myself in my Astral Body (this body is not Soul just a vessel of higher vibratory quality). When I encountered my Grandmother she looked to be in her mid-twenties. She was healthy and radiant. Both her Astral Body and her dress were somewhat translucent appearing to be formed of tiny bright green & blue stars. She greeted me with a warm smile and gave me a loving hug. This was very special, for me.

Move
Sometime during the summer or fall of 1972, Don and his girl friend, Loretta had decided they would get married and I felt it was time to get a place of my own. So, I found a nice little duplex apartment on 10th Street in Medford. It came furnished.

28

My biggest addition to the place was purchasing a large wall mural of Jesus and his disciples, at the Last Supper . Which, I hung in the living room above my couch. This I did of course because of the Inner experience I had had with this particular Image earlier. Another addition was a small color TV. About once a week or so, Don and Loretta would come into Medford to watch TV. Usually, to watch the popular ABC series called, Kung Fu starring David Carradine as the young Shaolin Monk, Kwai Chang Caine . It was a big hit with us because of the martial arts and bits of Eastern Wisdom, shared with each show. Interesting things were continuing to take place in my daily life (as well as my Inner Life) as I continued my personal research

Aunt Jillian and Friends

Back in the fall of 1971 soon after I had returned home from the service, I was invited to have dinner several times with my Aunt Jillian, her husband, Ron and with Dale, one of their good friends. My Aunt and I quickly found that we shared a great interest in the potential for Inner growth through the study of psychic phenomenon and esoteric writings. In coming months, my Aunt Jillian introduced me to some of her friends who had been working with various psychic arts, such as; clairvoyance, tarot cards, reading auras, astrology, and other explorations along these lines. Then a few months later, my Aunt invited me to go with her (with the group ) to join them as they made a weekly pilgrimage out to the home of an older and wiser man by the name of Aron Abrahamsen. He and his wife, Doris had a large home on a hill above the Applegate River. We would gather there in the evenings (with ten or more people) and sing uplifting Christian hymns for about an hour and then Aron would lead us in a guided meditation to enrich our appreciation of the Devine.

29

Aron was a deeply religious man and he was a gifted teacher as well. He performed Life Readings and Health Readings just as America s Sleeping Prophet , Edgar Cayce, had done back in the 1930 s & 40 s. And, like Mr. Cayce, Aron was able to put himself into a sleep-trance and shift his awareness into the Hall of Records known in esoteric circles as the Akashic Records . Everything we think, say, or do is an expression of Life Force Energy. Every bit of that expression (from our lives here on earth) is recorded, completely, on the 2nd (or Causal/Memory ) Level of Heaven. If Aron were giving a Health Reading , he would view the record of an individual s past lives & present life to find and give insight into the causes for health issues and how to resolve those issues. If he were giving a Life Reading he would review the experiences that led to this current life s circumstance, and then share insights, on how the individual might best precede towards Spiritual Awakening and fulfilling his mission in this world. In both cases, much deeper Spiritual insight was provided, than what is normally discovered by individuals who have not (yet) unfolded to the Level of Spiritual Awareness that would afford them the ability to peruse these encompassing records for themselves.

Auras
One evening, while visiting with my Aunt Jillian and her psychic friend Alexandria, Alexandria s eight year old daughter, Alexis (who could see auras which are the colors emanating from the energy bodies that encompass the physical body) was going around viewing everyone s aura and explaining what the various colors meant to her. Alexis viewed my Aunt, and said she saw a strong band of aqua across her forehead. She said this meant that my Aunt was a powerful clairvoyant . News to my Aunt Jillian!

30

Then Alexis looked at me, awhile and kind of shook her head and said, I have never seen colors like this before. They are swirling around you in white and green . Soon after this, my Aunt Jillian discovered that she had the psychic gift of Psychometry . She could hold any object that a person wore on a regular basis (like a wrist-watch), and with her eyes closed she could read that person; seeing both their past, present, and future displayed on a screen, in her mind s eye (a.k.a. Spiritual Eye or the Window of Soul). Alexis had been very right about my Aunt Jillian! We were all interested in having my Aunt read us and tell us what she saw. She had never done anything like this before, but we would soon find out, that she truly had a Special Gift

Readings
Aunt Jillian had awakened to her Gift a month or so before Christmas. On Christmas afternoon, my Aunt and her husband, Ron invited me to their Christmas party. Ron came over in the fog to pick me up as I did not have a car, yet. It was a great party and I spent a lot of time talking to different guests who were pursuing their individual interest in psychic and Spiritual studies. Much later, after all had left, except: Dale and me We sat down before a nice cozy fire and drank tea, while Aunt Jillian took personal items from each of us (one at a time) to read whatever she could about us. Dale was a skeptic. He didn t believe in psychic hocus-pocus. He had heard that with Aunt Jillian s ability she could find lost objects. He decided to test her. So, he handed her his personal item and said that he had misplaced some stamps that he needed to locate so he could hand-stamp the cards he issued to members of his exercise class.

31

Aunt Jillian took his personal item, closed her eyes, and began to read him by viewing what appeared before her Inner screen. Aunt Jillian was quiet for a few moments Then she said she saw his stamps in a particular box in his home (she had never been in his home). Dale said the stamps were too large to fit into the box she described. (The next day, Dale called to confirm that the stamps were indeed exactly, where Aunt Jillian had Seen them apparently, they did fit into that box!). While still holding Dale s personal item, Aunt Jillian had gone on to tell him about personal things relating to his past and his future. Next, Aunt Jillian accepted an item from her husband. She went into their past lives together and how they had come together again to continue working out their personal issues (their karma). After Ron s reading , I handed Aunt Jillian a picture from my wallet (without letting her look at the picture), and asked her to tell me what she sensed. With her eyes closed and holding the picture in her lap She said, she felt great power from it and she was seeing a double image, of a man Something like, what you would see if you put two slide negatives together . The picture she held was of Paul Twitchell, the founder of the modern day version of the ancient teaching of the Light & Sound of God, now called Eckankar. At that time, we did not understand the meaning of this double image Aunt Jillian was seeing Now, I believe, she was seeing the Spiritual nature of Paul Twitchell. At the time the photo had been taken, he was the Living Eck Master , who is also known in Eckankar as the Inner & Outer Master, meaning: That he was able to be both an Outer Teacher and the Inner Teacher & Protector for each of his individual students during their dream-time and Soul Traveling visits to the many Levels of Heaven. (More on this later ) Next, Aunt Jillian held my wallet and picked up immediately that it had a picture of a young woman in it. She went on to describe her looks, hair color, her
32

height, her personality, and that she lived outside of the United States. Aunt Jillian s description of the young woman in the photo was dead on! The picture, she had not ever seen (in my closed wallet), was of my ex-girlfriend, Carmen who lived in Mexico. Both Ron & Dale appeared to have drifted off to sleep as I handed Aunt Jillian my wrist-watch to read me. As she took my watch, I silently said a prayer to the Inner Master that whatever Aunt Jillian saw would be true and un-garbled . (After I got home, I wrote down what Aunt Jillian had said next and this is copied from what I wrote in my journal, on Dec 26th 1972) Aunt Jillian sat there for a couple minutes with her eyes closed and she seemed to hesitate, as she said: I don t want you to think I m trying to flatter you, but I see you becoming very Saintly, (now she was slowly shaking her head) almost Christ-like... only more so I see your future as being very happy contented. You will have some difficulties, but you will always be able to overcome these things... (Aunt Jillian paused frequently to view and review what she saw appear before her Inner Vision, before speaking about it.) I see you and Donnie as children up in the old canyon (on Walker Creek). You look like you are playing, Tarzan. You are swinging on long ropes across the canyon and out of trees. It looks like a lot of fun When you were young and alone with the trees you felt as though God spoke to you through the trees... I see you on the old ranch playing between the old house and the barn around a big stump with squirrel holes all around it Something about you being in a corral and a blue roan horse that used to belong to your Mother. Something about somebody being hurt by the horse, but it doesn t seem to be you...
33

I see something about you and Bonnie (her niece and my cousin) being very close In a past life you were brother and sister orphans, and you were fiercely protective and dependent upon each other. (Several years later, during a Soul Travel experience, I learned that this had been while Bonnie & I lived in France) Aunt Jillian paused and then said, Once Bonnie was your Mother . (She paused, smiling with her eyes still closed) I see you standing before me, though I know you are really sitting beside me You are radiating the most beautiful aura! The colors are shooting out of you 2 3 feet very brilliantly. There is a color I have never seen before the closest I could describe it in earth terms would be a Whitish-Silver, and there are the most beautiful Blues three different shades, and a Golden Yellow. There are other colors, but these are the ones that are the strongest. That was all that came to her
**************************************************

Aunt Jillian s ability to view the present and the past of an individual appeared to be highly accurate, and as for what she foresaw in my future... I suppose it would depend upon individual definitions of what it means to become Saintly , almost Christ-like only more so , or even happy and contented . And, (as I have observed) certain events that come into our lives are set-up or outlined before we enter each incarnation, but I have sometimes come to these predetermined potentials or cross-roads in my life and taken unexpected (unplanned) turnings. So, nothing is written in stone not at least, as far as what our futures hold for us. What Aunt Jillian had said about: When you were young and alone with the trees you felt as though God spoke to you through the trees really got my attention, because until that very moment, (when she reminded me of the many hours I had spent up in trees communing with them) I had not actually realized how unusual it was to be communing with trees. Only later, (after further Inner

34

Experiences) would I fully acknowledge that the bodies (material containers) of trees and animals are temporal houses, for Soul, too. Aunt Jillian s final comments (as she sat with her eyes closed) about seeing me standing before her even though she knew I was sitting beside her was due, to viewing one of my Inner Vessels.

Gaining more Insights

Dream Journal Entry January 26th 1973 For awhile, after I woke up, I had a reasonably clear picture of my dreams, but I remember so many now and they are so long that I only try to remember striking or special parts. In one dream I was up in the old cherry tree on the old ranch. In the palm of my left-hand there was a marble. It was a (clear) deep Blue, more beautiful than any diamond and filled with more Light! The Blue of Spirituality I was trying to manipulate it to see the future (because it reminded me of looking into a crystal ball). The (following) symbolism was obvious to me. I turned the marble (representing Spirit or God) over and where It had been in contact with the flesh (the desires of worldliness) It had lost Its rich Blue color and faded, almost seeming to disfigure It. This meant to me (or means) that I ve been trying to use God (in the form of Powers) rather than allowing God to use me. At the same time, it means, that; whenever Spirit comes in contact with the things of this world It is degraded. Spirit (Soul) must be free of attachment to the flesh, if It is to function purely, without bias. It must remain impersonal. Ever Giving and never seeking favor from any, but rather recognizing all as Itself, and thereby filling those who need It, without thoughts, of a selfish nature. No man or woman can become a channel for God s Impersonal Love, if that man or woman seeks to use that same Devine Power & Love for selfish purposes.
35

Spirit cannot be demanded, controlled, or channeled in any form if there is any thought of ego-self involved. (End of Dream Journal Entry)
********************************************

(Note: Most of my early out-of-body experiences were Astral Projection experiences. Astral Separation can be accomplished using specific techniques. It happens naturally when we sleep; it can happen through drug use, during an operation in a hospital, due to sickness, or because of an accident or other violent trauma to the physical body. Whenever there is separation, the two separate bodies or vessels are connected by what is called the Astral Cord . The Astral Cord, a.k.a. The Silver Cord is the Life Line that not only connects between the physical body and Astral (Emotional) Body, but it also connects to still Higher Quality Bodies. Thus, the Astral Body connects to the Causal (karmic seed/memory) Body, which connects to the Mental (mind) Body, which connects to the Etheric (Intuition) Body, and finally, to the Soul Body. Just as the physical body functions on the Earth Plane; each of these other Bodies function on progressively higher Levels of Heaven. If the Astral Cord is severed (between the physical & Astral bodies) we experience a transition into a Level of Experience that, the over-all vibratory Quality of our Spiritual State of Being attracts us to, and our physical body dies . What I am saying here is that; where we go after life here on earth is not necessarily determined entirely by the negative or positive behavior of this one particular life experience. Past Lives factor into this equation also. The cells of the physical body are in large part just little batteries . We run around all day and they run down (and we get tired). When we sleep, the Astral Body separates from the physical body and absorbs the Charged Life Force Energy that surrounds us. When we wake up the Astral Body has

36

merged back with the physical counter-part and we are (hopefully) re-charged for another day of activity. Sometimes, I used a technique to produce a conscious separation, but mostly I used my natural separation time during sleep to become aware of the fact that I was Out-of-Body, in my Astral or Dream Body. There are many signs used to Awaken to the fact that you are having an O.B.E. while asleep. For example: If you are flying in a dream... you are Out-of-Body. Later, I will share some insights on Soul Travel .)
***********************************************

Dream Journal Entry February 24th 1973 Things changed. Now I was flying slowly through some totally beautiful indescribable place. The colors were vivid beyond imagination. Flowers and a stream I thought I was out by Jacksonville, but everything was too beautiful, so radiant! I realized I was Astral Traveling, but I knew I wasn t totally conscious yet. So I attempted to fly high into the sky to get my Astral Body out of cord activity range, so that I could go anyplace I wanted. That however was a mistake. I think, now, that I was already out of cord activity range, and by thinking of getting away from my body I (had) thought of my body, and I went back to it. (Note: This idea of getting my Astral Body out of cord activity range was a mistaken belief I held at that time. I had thought, that the way to move out of the veiled dreamy state, was to simply fly farther away from my physical body, but that actually had nothing to do with gaining clearer perception or with going where I wished, in the Inner Worlds. Also, I had discovered through experience, that if I made the mistake of thinking of my physical body, I would immediately return to it because when we are Out-of Body where we place our attention, is where Spirit moves.) As I flew up into that lovely blue sky, everything changed. Darkness slowly overcame me, and I knew I was hovering over my body. For the first time in a long time, I felt the swaying of my Astral Body, as I floated down into my physical shell.
37

I saw the familiar lights of molecular energy, as I re-entered my vessel. I tried hard to remain calm. I could tell the (physical) body was in a stiff trance type state. I did my best to avoid thinking, because thinking makes one conscious and awakens the physical form. I lay in a semi-quiet state observing my thought waves passing by me, like silvery clouds. I tried to maintain just one single thought the word Love . I said it over and over, again & again. I shut out more & more (body) consciousness. For that is the only way, at that stage, to leave the body again. Slowly, I was climbing (floating) back out of my body. Then by accident I became (body) conscious and crashed back down into my body with a solid thud-like sensation! It was almost, as hard a landing, as that time when I was thrown back into my body for trying to take some lovely lady s clothes off (without permission) when I was in the astral worlds. Anyway, I tried several more times, and fell back each time. One time I heard a voice (which didn t seem to be my own) that said: It is not a good idea to continue at this time . I assumed (incorrectly) that whoever it was; referred to the fact (something I had read) that it was becoming daylight, and the best times for evil entities to possess beings (people) on earth, is at dawn & dusk. So I immediately prayed to my Higher Self to surround me with an Aura of Pure White Light, to prevent entry by other entities. Then I continued my experimenting with the result: at one point, of crashing back into my body and getting my legs (astral & physical) crossed; which gave my feet the feeling (as though) they had an out-of-sorts headache! Anyway (knowing the cure for this), I dozed off, and when I did, I straightened out my legs. (End of Dream Journal Entry) (Note: This crossing or miss-aligning of the Astral Body with the physical is experienced by most everyone; you usually notice it whenever you are abruptly woken by a loud sound your body feels really out-of-sorts . The simple cure (if you make time) is to allow yourself to slip back into sleep, for just a few moments, and the Astral Body will automatically realign itself properly with the
38

physical. If you do not take the time to do this; you will feel grumpy and not yourself all day.)

Preparations
Journal Note: June 25th 1973 Some notes on what is happening In two days I will be done working for the summer at least. So, much is happening now. Not only to me, but also to the whole world (and I am sure in the universe also). I am quitting work (for the summer) in an effort to prepare myself for the upcoming events that will and must take place. I am not the only one preparing by any means. Masters and chelas (students) are preparing everywhere, for the work that lies ahead. So much will happen soon that my mind staggers at the awesomeness of it all, and I know so little of what all will take place. Yet, I know of it by the feel of it and by the Light of my Soul, the Masters, and the Sugmad (God) which manifests Its Light in All.
*********************************************

Dream Journal Entry June 25th 1973 Someday soon I m bound to get Astral Projection down to a simple act. Again last night I practiced projecting in the dream state. That is, I would go to bed some place (in the dream) and project to some other place where I would do various things. Then I would awaken and then project again & again & again, and again probably between 10 15 times, maybe more. I m beginning to get used to the surprise of suddenly rising out of the body. I did a lot of flying, walking through walls etc. At one point I said, Sugmad (Eckankar name for the Source of Our Being) in a special way, and the name appeared in a kind of Silvery White Flame written in the air before me.
39

(Note: When we are tired we often drift off and find ourselves jerking back awake. This is because the Astral Body has partially separated and we have sensed the sudden swiftness, of its departure; which causes us to over-react and fall back into the physical shell. It takes practice to over-come this sense of shock of leaving the physical body, so swiftly.) Later, I started climbing some spiraling stairs, and I met some guys at each turn in the stairs who would attack me and tell me to go back, but I just fought them all off, and when I got to the top; I walked into an office, with a secretary. I told her to call the doctor and tell him to have his boys on the stairway, to: lay-off me . The doctor instructed them to leave me alone (End of Dream Journal Entry)

(Note: The spiraling stairway a.k.a. the Stairway to Heaven ; we are challenged again and again as we make our way up it The doctor represents (I believe) the Over-Lord of the Astral Realm of Heaven. It is his duty to turn back all who are not yet ready to enter the Pure Astral Worlds or to go on to those Levels of Heaven, that are beyond.)
********************************************

Dream Journal Entry July 2nd 1973 In last night s dream I was in a play, in a theater, and I was acting the part of Pinocchio ; from the traditional children s story, about the wooden puppet who wanted to become a real little boy. Like Pinocchio, I was side tracked. Only, in my case it was a lovely young woman who captured my attentions. Pinocchio finally won his right to become a real little boy. The symbolism of my dream is quite clear. Will I who wants to become my Real Self as Soul (a distributor of the Life Force) be able to overcome the obstacles in my path and win my right to be a Real Son of God or fail and remain trapped in the illusions of my own selfish desires? (End of Dream Journal Entry)
40

(Note: It wasn t that having the company of a woman in my life, would trap me in a lower state of consciousness, but rather my uncontrolled Lust for women in general. Men have throughout history blamed women for their own weaknesses and have sought to subjugate women and their innate Spiritual Strength out of fear much to the world s loss and detriment.)
********************************************

My plans to spend the summer focused on getting in tune with the Eck or Holy Spirit were (as ever) partially off-set by my continued lack of self discipline. My life was a continual see-saw of trying to live simply and focus on Spirit, but finding my level of commitment and self discipline, inconsistent. (Note: It would be years before I would gain enough understanding to begin to find some semblance of harmony & balance in my life. There are indeed two forces vying for domination within each of us. Balance only starts to come when we recognize that we need to acknowledge both the negative and the positive polarities. Our True Strength only manifests when we objectively and lovingly unite the two.) When I wasn t distracted by other pursuits; I would spend time reading and listening to the many books & tapes I had accumulated on the teaching of Eckankar, the Ancient Science of Soul Travel. Often I would go for long walks during the hot summer evenings, as I contemplated what I had been reading or listening to that day.

Spiritual Exercise
Near the end of the summer, I decided to try doing my first Eck Contemplation Exercise . This was not something I had prepared for lightly. Over the summer months I had read many Eck books, listened to many hours of talks given by Paul Twitchell, and I had thought deeply upon all that I had read, heard, and experienced up to that point. The Spiritual Exercise, I chose, was one taken from those that Paul Twitchell had described in his book: ECKANKAR The Key To Secret Worlds . Perhaps, back
41

then, I closely followed Paul s example as it was given in his book I no longer recall for sure. The continuing line of Living Eck Masters has provided us (in their writings) with literally hundreds of Spiritual Exercises that present an opportunity to gain the direct experience of the Holy Spirit (Light & Sound of God). Over the years I have gotten into the practice of modifying Spiritual Exercises; to give myself a sense of personal connection to each Exercise So the technique I will now describe is just an example of how I might have modified the Spiritual Exercise Paul suggested It simply involved sitting comfortably in a chair, with my feet on the floor, my hands loosely held in my lap (palms facing up), and then taking a few slow relaxed deep breaths with my eyes closed I would gently place my Awareness on my Spiritual Eye (that Inner screen we see when we place our attention between and behind our eyebrows about 1 2 ). Once relaxed and lightly focused on my Window of Soul , I would begin to slowly (lovingly) sing (letter by letter) S-U-G-M-A-D an ancient name for God or Source of Life. After doing this for about 5 - 10 minutes out loud; I would stop my outer vocalization and begin to sing inwardly, with my thoughts for an equal period of time Then I would repeat this exercise of singing out loud for about 5 minutes and again shift back into singing quietly with my thoughts What follows is what I actually recall of that first experience: As I moved my attention back into singing S-U-G-M-A-D quietly with my thoughts (for the final repetition period) I made an effort to not struggle striving to effortlessly remain calm, relaxed, ever so very gently focused on keeping my attention on this Love Song to God while also allowing my Awareness to move into a state of balanced objectivity stepping back just watching the harmonious thoughts drift by After about 30 40 minutes had elapsed two things began to happen simultaneously I saw a tiny Red Star approaching or beginning to grow on my
42

Inner Screen, and I began to hear the Holy Spirit (the Eck) issuing out of the Soul Plane as the Single Note of a Flute. If I allowed myself to look directly at the Light of God, It faded or receded, so I looked gently in an unfocused manner to the right of the Red Star, and It approached and became larger. And like-wise with the Sound of God s Voice (Flute) If I focused on It then the Music faded. So, I balanced my attention in a state of calmness, holding a very light Awareness of this keen sounding Note then both the Light and Sound of God swiftly filled my Inner Vision and Awareness. The center of this Red Light became an opening that the Sound of the Flute (Audible Life Current) carried me through into another Realm In a Region of Glowing Mist, a man in a monks robe appeared before me. He held a bowl out to me that appeared to be filled with beautiful gems. As he did this, he said; These are all the mind powers they are yours. Instead, of accepting the gift, I said; I am not seeking powers. My goal is to become a Co-Worker with God in service to All Life . My Spiritual Vision was immediately filled with a tall Golden Flame that wrapped itself completely around my vision (360 degrees) and then slowly peeled away, into Golden Leaves of Light, with a central Brilliant White Lotus Blossom that was ME (Soul), and I was filled with an overwhelming sense of Love & Joy! It was a High that would last for days, without drugs.

Getting With the Program

Not long after this experience, I received a call from my Uncle Ray. He told me that the fellow who managed the shop s stock room had been seriously injured in a bad car accident, and he wanted to know if I would come back and work in the Stock Room. This felt right, so I accepted the offer. In January of 1974, my brother and his wife signed up for membership discourses with Eckankar. Up until this point, I still had not felt I needed to belong to any particular religious or Spiritual group, until

43

Dream Journal Entry January 22, 1974 It would have been better if I d have written this first part down last week when it happened (or was it the week before?). In any case, my Eck Spiritual Exercises seem to be progressing. I m having a lot more flying dreams, far too many to record on paper. I m also having clairvoyant experiences while my body sleeps. In the early morning, I become aware that my physical body is in a trance (rigid) state and knowing that I may project out of it I do. Anyway, about a week or so ago, I became aware that my physical body was incapacitated (rigid) and as I looked on through my Third Eye (Tisra Til or Spiritual Eye), I could see two formless Bodies of very Brilliant White Light (Balls of Light) approaching me. The two Bodies of Light (Soul Bodies) were conversing. One voice coming from one Ball of Light was my own! The other Ball of Light sounded like Peddar Zaskq (Paul Twitchell), the Eck Master. (I recognized his voice from having heard it on cassette recordings) The Ball of Light that sounded like Paul Twitchell stopped a ways off. The Ball of Light that sounded like me, continued towards me (as I am watching through my Spiritual Eye) and the Ball of Light (Soul) merged into my forehead. And as it entered, there was the loud Sound of what sounded like; a rapid-fire machine gun which included Bright streaming flashes of White Light; that reminded me of the tracer rounds I had used while in the Marines. (Tracer Rounds are mixed in with regular bullets to allow a rifleman to see where his bullets are hitting when firing them in the dark of night) Once (My) Ball of Light entered my head there was silence, and I could not see or sense It. Meanwhile, the other Ball of Light was still hanging out there in front of me. And I wondered to myself Is that really Paul Twitchell in his Soul Body? Immediately, a side profile image of Paul Twitchell s face was drawn on the White Ball of Light. It looked like a pen & ink drawing only drawn with Pure Golden Light. Then Paul just flowed off into the distance and vanished.
44

Now, on to what I dreamt last night Last night or rather early this morning, I became conscious (while slightly separated from my physical body) that my physical body was in a rigid trance state. Suddenly, I could hear voices and then see that there were three Beings two young men and a young woman. The woman was warning the two men to be careful that; He does not discover our presence . But, I already had by clairaudience, and then visually by clairvoyance. Then I sank fully back into my physical shell. Believing they could probably hear my thoughts, I implored them (with mental thoughts telepathically) to lift me back out of my physical form. They probably had not expected me to ask for such a thing, but they responded to my call for assistance. It seemed quite a struggle to get free (of my physical body) even with their aid, but the struggle was short and as I left the physical form, things changed and shifted. For some reason the dream censor changes the impressions I get upon first leaving the body, into symbols, as in a hazy dream. This time, those who had so graciously aided my brief release appeared as cartoon characters (even though I had briefly seen them through my Spiritual Eye; as 2 men & a woman, before they helped me leave my body). Possibly, they may have telepathically caused that (cartoonish censoring) to keep me from seeing their true forms (if that is the case they did not know, I had already seen them). Anyway, finally the visual effects of spinning and change stopped, and I thought I had risen to the Astral Plane. Everything I saw was vivid and crystal clear. It was Fantastic! I found myself flying high above another world; which seemed to curve off into another universe. The sky was a beautiful purple-dark blue. There was a vast sea below me and a beautiful green land to my back and left-side. Though I do not recall the land that Peter Pan was from, this was surely where the author (Scottish novelist and playwright Sir James M. Barrie) came for
45

his story. I only caught a glimpse, but there was a flying pirate ship sailing off through that purple sky, into the distance towards some star, no doubt. To say the least, I was bursting with the Joy & Beauty of it all! I decided I wanted to see Sahasra-Dal-Kanwal the capital city of the Astral Worlds, but I didn t know if I could find it. So, I tried to imagine what it might look like, but I guess my effort to try to visualize the City, caused me to get reeled back into my physical body. The Censors affect on me, made the physical body appear to be a large yellow crate as I descended back over it. I hovered over it and then slowly reentered it. The inside of the crate had writing on the walls in Golden Light, but because the Astral Body was attempting to re-align itself with the physical form I could not seem to get situated properly to read what the Golden Words said. The crate had holes in it and so it looked like Swiss cheese, but that did not fool me I knew it was that funky old shell. I remember thinking to myself (after returning), about having had to return to fulfill my duties, and commenting to myself, about the oddness (of this situation): That here I am as Soul, a Spark of God, and I deliberately place myself in this (physical) prison only, to then turn around and have to learn how to escape it. Ah to learn my lessons and be free to return Home again (End of Dream Journal Entry) The experience I had of hearing and viewing Paul Twitchell and myself in our Soul Bodies, and then experiencing Soul re-entering my physical body (as I watched through my Spiritual Eye) really shook-up my perspective. It was one thing, to have read in the Eck books by Paul Twitchell, about being in two or more places at once, but experiencing the reality of having my Consciousness in two different bodies at once was incredible! Additionally, it had been two years since I had been hand-on-shoulder led to purchase my first two books on Eckankar. And by now, I had read Paul Twitchell s book called The Tigers Fang . This was his own account of Soul Traveling up
46

through the many Levels of Heaven to reach the state of God Consciousness with his Teacher, the Tibetan Eck Master Rebazar Tarz. So, I was aware that there were many more Wondrous Levels of Heaven that I was finding it really difficult (on my own) to access. So again, this experience was like getting hit with a bolt of lightning! Soul, my True Inner Self, was already accepting the guidance of a Master Traveler & Teacher (Paul Twitchell). Soul knew that It needed a Master Guide (who had already scouted the difficult climb ahead), to achieve the Highest Levels of Heaven In February of 1974, I sent away for my membership with Eckankar, which included monthly discourses that gave my Outer ego-self instruction; that coincided with the training the Mahanta (Inner Master) would provide Soul with in Dream Teachings and Illuminating Soul Travel Journeys into the many Mansions of God . Taking this initiative would be a huge step in a growing Inner Commitment to becoming a Co-Worker with God .

Soul Travel
What I was soon to discover, was that by choosing of my own volition to join the Eckankar membership I was in effect asking for guidance from not only the Living Eck Master (the Outer Master) and the Mahanta (the Inner Master), but I was also opening myself to becoming tutored by the other Eck Masters, of the Ancient Order of the Vairagi. One of the first things that happened was that one afternoon I decided to lie down on my couch and project my Astral Body out so I could go explore around the neighborhood. As I separated, sat up and moved to stand outside of my physical shell I ran right into a Bright White Star that bounced me right back into my physical body! As I had contacted (and bounced back from) the White Star blazing in my living room, I had the intuitive feeling that this was the great Eck Master, Fubbi
47

Quantz who is in charge of one of the Eck Wisdom Temples (hidden) here on earth. He didn t say anything that I recalled, but the experience left me with the firm impression that I was no longer going to be allowed to practice Astral Projection as, the Eck Masters teach Soul Travel, which allows the practitioner to journey into much higher Spiritual Realms. (Note: When I had begun reading the books on Eckankar, the Ancient Science of Soul Travel, I was presented with a whole new concept of Out-of-Body travel. Most of what I had read in other literature spoke only of Astral Projection . Astral Projection and Soul Travel is not the same thing. And it took me years to mentally sort out some of the differences, and I am still clarifying my understanding. My understanding is: Astral Projection involves: separation of the Astral Body from the physical body. It includes the connection to the physical body through the Astral Cord. In my experience it limits travel range to only, the physical & Astral dimensions. Soul Travel involves learning to catch the Eck (Audible Life Stream/Holy Spirit) and riding a Wave of God-Sound into whatever Realm of Heaven you are ready to visit. As it (Soul Travel) involves a shifting of Awareness (rather than separating a body ) there is no Astral Cord stretching out behind you, as you travel. With Soul Travel, as you enter whatever Level of Heaven (dimension) you are journeying to you automatically manifest a body (to inhabit and interact thru) that corresponds to the vibratory qualities of the place you visit. This comes in handy when you visit worlds were the inhabitants look completely different than humans you can (if you wish or need to) manifest a vessel (body) that looks like the locals.)

48

Love Accepts Diversity

At times, I encountered individuals from other religions telling me that their beliefs were the only approach to God. When confronted by either: the well meaning or the truly bigoted I drew upon my direct experience of Heaven and the Beings who lived there to present what I hoped to be a broader perspective (though it was not to my knowledge ever recognized as such). Such confrontations serve no purpose. Learning to accept and respect diversity; is a hard lesson for each Soul to learn. The religious doctrines that try to make one viewpoint fit all, simply fail to recognize that no singular interpretation of Truth will suit the vast and diverse universe we live in. Thousands of years of violent history have proven this, and continue to demonstrate it today. If we have not personally made the effort to objectively look at ourselves, and have not recognized how uniquely different we are, as an individual Spark of God; then we are not, as likely, to grant others the respect and space to live and manifest their own individual approach to Loving & Serving God. It is not about who is right and who is wrong It is ALL about the individual as Soul Learning to Appreciate & Manifest God s Unconditional Love for All Life.

Chela
Sometime in the spring of 1974, I received a Local Events Calendar from the Eck Chelas (students) living in the Rogue Valley area. In it I noted a Get to Know You gathering planned at the home of one of the Eckist living nearby. So, on the appointed date, I drove over and met with a small group of local Eck students. Not knowing what to expect from these people; I was greatly relieved and gratified to be warmly welcomed, and to actually find myself with a group of people who had also been having real experiences with the Light & Sound of God. They had a diverse back ground; from many different religions and/or Spiritual Paths. Yet, here they all were, reaching beyond the limits of their past experience
49

taking the Inner initiative to learn how to consciously visit Heaven and become Co-Workers with God. They shared some of their experiences and I was blown away by the things they had to share. In turn, I shared the experience of my first Eck Spiritual Exercise or Contemplation (the one where I was offered the bowl of beautiful gems ). As I sat on a couch, sharing this experience, a little 2-3 year old girl came over to me and climbed up into my lap. She just sat there quietly, taking it all in. I surmised that she must have felt something (as I was relating my story) to have felt comfortable with coming over and climbing into the lap of a stranger . (Some years later, I would see in a Soul Travel experience; that I had known the little girl and her Mother in a previous incarnation) At this gathering, I met a few 2nd Initiates of Eck . After listening to them for a short period, I was frankly, in awe of them. They were way ahead of my level of experience and understanding of Eck. They had been working with the Living Eck Master and the other Eck Masters for several years and their understanding of the Audible Life Stream, Soul Travel, and the Heavenly Realms was truly advanced in comparison to my own. (Note: My understanding is that the goal of the Living Eck Master (and the Masters of the Vairagi), is to lead Soul back to It s True Home in the God Worlds of Eck to become responsible Co-Workers with God. Both Soul (Self) Realization & later God-Realization are part of this goal. The Living Eck Master and the other Eck Masters earn our Love & Respect, but they are not worshiped. Personally, I view these Adept Spiritual Travelers as my more experienced Brother & Sister Souls. Their ability to consistently manifest the Grace of God continually inspires me! The new Eck student is encouraged to study the discourses written by the Living Eck Master, begin working with their dreams, and to practice the Spiritual Exercises of Eck. This provides a congruent Inner and Outer educational
50

experience, as the student is guided by the Inner & Outer Presence of the Mahanta, the Living Eck Master. After about 6 months of Inner & Outer training, they receive their 1st Eck Initiation. This takes place on the Inner during the dream state. This Initiation is provided (by the Mahanta, the Inner Master) to help the individual expand his/her awareness of their dream experiences. The Eck Student studies and practices the disciplines of Eck, for two years. At that point, the student is offered the choice of making a greater commitment to the Eck and the work of the Living Eck Master. This is a personal decision, to formally become a student of the Living Eck Master as a 2nd Initiate. If the individual chooses to continue on the Path of Eckankar, he applies for the 2nd Initiation. This Initiation and all that follow it will increase the amount of the Light & Sound of God (Holy Spirit) that the individual will learn to work with as he/she grows into becoming a True Co-Worker with God. The Living Eck Master, the Mahanta, acts like a transformer on a power pole. He steps down the Power of the God Force, to suit each individual Consciousness and their personal capacity to responsibly handle and distribute this Audible Life Current or Holy Spirit. ) Toward the end of my first gathering with Eck students, we made plans to have a planning meeting for the purpose of looking at ways to introduce the Eckankar teaching to those few individuals in the community who might be ready to join us on this Grand Adventure. Along in this period, Don, Loretta, and I joined a group study program of the Eck Discourses, called a Satsang class. Satsang classes are led by an Arahata (teacher who is a 2nd Initiate or higher who has been trained for this service). The separate individual study program was Illuminating, but wasn t as stimulating as learning and sharing with a group led by someone who was more knowledgeable and experienced than we were. Getting feedback from other Travelers (or would be Travelers) really produced a growth spurt for everyone involved.
51

Shifting Perspective
Excerpt From Dream Journal May 1st 1974 With young woman, while Sam and I watch her (lustfully), she decides to give us a lecture on attachment to the flesh. She said, If you would observe the individual organs and their functions rather than the outer form as a whole, you would lose your attachment . (End of Dream Journal Entry) (Note: After this experience, I experimented with practicing what this young woman had shared for a short period, but I did not fully appreciate the potential value of continuing this discipline, at that time. Later, I learned that in the upper Astral Realm and beyond; nudity is common. Not being able to control one s sexual arousal may be met with amusement, but not being able to keep your hands off of others, will usually get you yanked back into your physical body. The idea of clothing is associated with hiding something from others. In these upper Realms individuals often openly expose their bodies so that their Spiritual Energies (with associated Auras) can be seen and felt, and everyone can read these emanations thus no deceptions no lies. Here, on this planet, we are not ready for this particular expression of honesty so please do not run out naked in the streets based on what I am sharing here!)

Soul Conflict
Back, when I had first returned home from the service, while living with Don in Jacksonville, I had invited a young woman I had met in Hawaii (who lived in California) to come visit me in Jacksonville. Which, she did.

52

Though she was a truly sweet person, I began finding faults with her And I realize (now), that it was really all about the fact that since I had last seen her in Hawaii (a couple years earlier), she had gotten pregnant and had had a baby daughter. And I was (unconsciously), resisting the idea of getting married with the immediate responsibility of becoming a father. So she went home and we corresponded, but I put her off, to the point, she became disgusted with me and soon married another young man, who treated her much better. I did not hear or see her again, until Excerpt From Dream Journal May 31st 1974 In another dream, a girl who seemed to be the young lady I met in Hawaii was having a spear fight with me and we were throwing spears from some distance so we never hit each other, but towards the last, we were much closer. And as she threw her last spear, she was defenseless and in the open, up close, and I felt it was time to leave. And though I still had my turn and could have killed her (as she would have done me), I just dropped my spear and left. She had a rather surprised look on her face. The spears were bulky and seemed to be made of broad beams of Light. (End of Dream Journal Entry) (Note: Later (via Soul Travel), I would come to learn that this young lady was the individual I had agreed to marry, before we had been born (incarnated) into this particular life experience. Thus, the conflict between us because, I had ignorantly and selfishly broken the agreement. I was mistaken in my belief that I could have killed her in this dream experience. The Eck Masters have taught me that Soul cannot die or be killed. It can be temporarily rendered unconscious, but It cannot be destroyed. Only bodies (the husk) that Soul wears like a garment, can be destroyed or die . Some people believe that if they die in a dream, they will die physically. That might be true, if the person believed in that idea strongly enough, but I have

53

died in my dreams a number of times, and have simply re-awakened, in my physical body.)

Reflecting on Desire
Excerpt From Journal June 4th 1974 I am going to go over the last few years of this life, briefly. Two years ago, a great change was taking place within me perhaps too rapidly. At that time I was very aware of the role of desire and how desire creates all mankind s suffering. Actually, it is ignorance of Sugmad s (God s) Laws, but in any case, I was in a very determined state of mind and I gave up my attachments, or so I thought. But you cannot give up desire or the objects of desire until you are ready. That involves suffering, because it is only after you have suffered enough under the burdens of desire and the seeking of false fulfillment that you can free yourself by the Grace of God, the Eck. (End of Journal Entry)

Lessons from the Living Eck Master

As children do, during my childhood, I had picked up both positive and negative expressions of behavior from my Dad. He had demonstrated both a quick temper and the fluency he had mastered with creative profanity. Whenever, I felt someone pushing on me or anyone coming along to add just one more straw to my already busy work load, my temper would flare and I would often skin my closest victim with my verbal razor. That didn t create a positive working relationship, with those who supervised or worked with me. The Living Eck Master presented an idea on how to correct this imbalance. He wrote an article suggesting: that instead of walking around all day thinking a lot of negative thoughts about your boss (including going home still fuming about how you were treated and imagining various ways to get back at him), that what an individual might consider doing was imagining or visualizing (on the screen of

54

their mind), images of the boss (and oneself) laughing and getting along with each other. So, I started practicing this with my supervisors and others. Whenever I thought of them, met with them, or listened to them speaking; I would hold an image of us (in my Inner Vision) laughing and getting along with each other. It was Amazing! In less than a single day, we were laughing and getting along. And, that eased the stress levels at work and in my life immeasurably!
******************************************

In high school, my Mom had taken note of my excessive use of profanity and asked my Dad to have a word with me. When he confronted me I said, Just following your example Dad , and after a few moments while those words registered he suggested; that I make an effort to tone it down, when I was around my Mother. Which I did for her, but I didn t feel the need to do so, for the rest of the world. Again, the Living Eck Master (without criticism) simply stated that the words we think and speak have power. Thoughts and words are energy vibrations they are extensions of the Eck Sound Current (Holy Spirit). How we choose to use them affects & shapes the world around us. We are responsible (karma) for what we create with those expressions. Taking to Heart these outer lessons changed my attitude and view-point very quickly. It made a world of difference in my relationships with others. It gradually helped bring an inner peace and balance that I had not experienced before.
****************************************

Becoming a Co-Worker with God

As one soon learns when studying with the Eck Masters, opportunities suddenly abound to experience the reality of becoming a Co-Worker with God . This is encouraged in both the outer physical world and on the Inner

55

Excerpt From Dream Journal July 31st 1974 I recall (that) I was with Grandpa in his house. He was getting ready to go someplace and I was helping him find his clothes and combing his hair. He knew he was going to die pretty soon, and he was afraid, of what lay ahead of him. So, I told him he had nothing to fear, and I told him he would find death to be no more uncomfortable than the shedding of an old coat. I explained what he would feel (experience) and how he would feel in his Light Body (Astral Body). And, I told him he could expect his relatives and friends who were already living on the Other Side to meet and guide him. Grandpa wasn t at all sure I knew what I was talking about and (so) I explained a little about Eckankar and the Living Eck Master, but still he wasn t too easily convinced. So maybe, he will pass in ease or he will pass with self-inflicted suffering. In any case, he will quickly see (that) the things I said are true. (End of Dream Journal Entry) (Note: We all have Guardian Angels . Most of these Helpers are not actually Angels . Angels exist, but do not typically interact with humans on a daily basis. Instead, family and friends who love us that are (usually) residing on the Other-side support us, and even protect us at times. We in turn, return the favor when we can.)

A Growing Process
Excerpt From Dream Journal January 31, 1975 Dreams as I have discovered, have more purposes, potentials, subtleties, and Keys to Life, than I can really begin to describe. From working off karmic patterns, to living out sub-conscious desires, to realization of Self (Soul), to predicting future events, to telling of past life dramas, to developing Spiritual insight far surpassing the world s greatest thinkers and philosophers.

56

Recently, it has come to my attention that my dream experiences are moving into a different and somewhat higher phase. Ever since my 1st Inner Initiation given by the Inner Master (in the Sun & Moon Worlds ), I have been working out my karma and other things on the Astral Plane. There was a time some time back (last summer I think), that I began moving into the Causal or Memory Plane (2nd Level of Heaven). At the time, I kept slipping back, to lower levels. I didn t have enough confidence or enough insight, to keep myself in harmony with the vibratory rates (Light & Sound frequency) of the Causal regions. So, down I would slip, back into the Astral every time I tried to climb higher. The Master had said that when we move or are moving into a Higher State of Consciousness; we often meet with all sorts of problems and difficulties in our lives. Recently (at least), this sure has been true for me. It is also said that when we reach a point (in our upwards struggle) to where we simply cannot fight anymore because we are just too weary that we reach a state of despair. And, in that despair, we find surrender to the Devine Spirit (The Inner Master), and thus we gain the Liberation we sought. Thus, we come to my past few weeks or months. I ve struggled within myself to find balance to find a way of living in this world, yet not being of this world to find freedom to do what I want in the material world, yet to honor Soul and the Higher Reality of Spiritual Truth. It hasn t been easy. I have fallen down a hundred times and more, and I have done as the Living Eck Master has taught me, and gotten back up and tried again, and again, and again. Each time I have felt I could not endure more. It was all getting too deep, too heavy, and I just couldn t see how I d ever overcome my emotional & imaginary hang-ups. Yesterday, I went out and got good and drunk, went to a movie (outdoor), went out to the bars, and when 1:30 a.m. in the morning came I sat back in a chair and watched the people really going at their thing; playing their parts in the drama.
57

So, here I sat, with this awareness that I was just the sole audience to all of this. The realization was so powerful, that it had a strong sobering effect on my thoughts. Here I was yet I didn t belong. I ve grown beyond. Now, on to what I dreamt last night So, after dreams, where I worked off my desires & karma for the day (or whatever), then my dreams changed. I was back into my Spiritual Work & Training in the Higher Worlds. The things I was doing are hidden by a screen brought up by the shock of what I believe was another Inner Initiation to the Causal Plane. Up until I had this Initiation , I was doing some kind of Spiritual Work, but what it was is just flashes in my memory. Into a building or room I came. Here before me was a step-fountain. The 1st Step up (representing the 1st Level of Heaven) had rose-pink colored waters (associated with the Astral Plane), and then moving upwards to Higher Levels of Heaven with each Higher Step. Somehow, I knew that each step represented an Initiation, to a Higher Level of Consciousness. Since there are twelve (Levels of Initiation) in Eckankar (actually more), I started to count the Steps to check this feeling of knowledge (knowing) I had. But, as I looked at the bottom step which was underwater I was lifted upwards by a surge of God Power, (felt) at my feet only when I looked down I didn t have any feet. It is not easy to describe the brief, yet dynamic (Energy) feeling I experienced. As I was lifted up each Step, I felt a change in the Power flow. It had an Energy bump feeling, between each Level. I rose out of the water (at the base) and moved up at least 3 Steps, perhaps four. Then I awoke in my bed. Then I went back to sleep. In the next dream I was up in the old Walker Creek canyon. There were some cliffs like (giant) Stair Steps. Each cliff (face) was progressively higher and taller, and all, were straight up & down.

58

A lot of people were at the bottom. Don (my brother) and some few others were on the 1st Level (of Heaven) with me. Someone said something about it being too difficult to get down or up the cliffs. So, I jumped up and down them (the lower ones) to demonstrate that is wasn t as difficult as so many believed. Then I jumped up to the 2nd or 3rd Level and for once, I felt quite secure there. Even though, when I made the jump, it seemed a great deal higher than my others. It felt like I could stay without slipping back down or falling unless I got real careless. (Note: In this instance, the dream censor has created or instilled this imagery that presented the different Levels of Heaven, to me, as cliffs or giant stair steps that gave the impression, that the different Levels of Heaven are stacked one on top of the other. However, this presentation was just to keep it simple for my physical or Outer awareness. My understanding is that the different Levels of Heaven (dimensions) are separated by differing vibratory Light & Sound frequencies that can, and do, allow different Levels to occupy the same space and to (generally) remain invisible to each other.) Then someone else was up on the 2nd Level and he jumped off in a kind of suicide jump (over and beyond the 1st Level). He jumped and I jumped after him, and then I was watching us both, fall (I had separated my awareness from my falling body). And, I thought to myself I will have to make my (falling) body speed up so that I can catch him . So I did. As I watched us both fall, I saw myself catch him, and we seemed to land in an awkward heap on the limb of a large tree, but we survived. Having done this, I was informed I would be working for a new Lead-man at the fabrication plant where I worked. This didn t really make much sense to me, and because it didn t, I didn t feel any particular deep desire to do this. (Note: Though I did not at that moment understand the symbolism of being placed under a new Lead-man Later, I would realize it simply meant that I had passed a test, and would now be receiving my further instruction & training
59

from another Eck Master who was serving on the new Level, I had moved into.) Then, I was off on a journey across a great plain with a few other people. We came to a place I have been before. There is a house A huge house, setting out off to the side of a road we are standing on. It is surrounded by a barbedwire fence. There was a lot of indecision (I felt) as to whether or not I would go into this house. As I opened the gate to enter, there was a crushed and broken Crucifix at my feet in a muddy stream. For some reason, I hesitate here out of some kind of fear (that) I feel because of this broken Cross. The place (house) seems okay, but I get the feeling of evil because the Cross (at my feet) is so mutilated. I know now, that if I go there again, I must go through that gate and enter that house. The gates of the Higher Levels of Heaven are often guarded by things, which we have some reason to fear. If we can overcome this fear of death (of evil) then we can enter into the Greater Mysteries of Life. The reason these Realms have gates with such fearful images is to protect those who are not ready, from acquiring knowledge they are not ready to handle. As Paul Twitchell said, Only the Brave and the Bold may enter Heaven (while still living in the physical body). (End of Dream Journal Entry)

Expanding Viewpoint
The gradual exposure I received under the guidance of the Inner Master (The Mahanta) to my Inner Reality as Soul and to the experience of being trained to become a Co-Worker with Sugmad (God) at times, simply amazed me, as I began to realize that this was really happening to me (and others).

60

Excerpt From Dream Journal February 1st 1975 further along, I was with Don, Loretta, and several other people. We were sitting around something (in a circle). Then I became the observer, from the position (viewpoint) of Soul, and I could see the Living Eck Master as a Spiritual Giant holding all of us in his hands. Shifting back further, objectively, I could see we were all sitting in the top of an Immense Torch like the Statue of Liberty holds. It seemed to say that the Master is the Torch Bearer, and we are the individual Flames, for his Torch. It was truly an unbelievable sight or dramatization, to behold! Yet, Soul (the objective observer) was truly impersonal through-out the whole experience. It was just watching! (End of Dream Journal Entry)

Excerpt From Dream Journal February 2nd 1975 In one experience, I was with a group of Eck Chelas (students) and we were being taught by Peddar Zaskq (Paul Twitchell). He was teaching us more about our purposes & potentials, as Co-Creators & Co-Workers with the Sugmad (God). We were in a mountain forest, and we were shown how we could each extend ourselves into areas of little Life and sow seeds which would not only bring about Life in Abundance, but also serve as an example, marker, or Way Shower for those who would follow us. (End of Dream Journal Entry)

61

Experiences and Tests

Excerpt From Dream Journal March 15, 1975 As I am writing this, it is Sunday morning. I ve just gotten up (about 7 a.m.) and my Inner Vibrations are very high In one dream experience, there was a man with somewhat sandy blonde hair; combed straight back, I think, not long, with a little larger than average build, about 40 years old, or about there. He was speaking to a large group of people in the semi-ruins of a dilapidated or war torn government building. He was on a speaker s platform, and the huge audience (including myself) sat below him. This man began his speech by saying something to the effect: That we must control the doings of the masses, and weed out elements that oppose us. Those were not his exact words, but that is the gist of what he was saying. Immediately, as he said this, I recognized his intentions as being those of so many others. In particular, he reminded me of Adolph Hitler. The man speaking left me with a sense that he was possibly a modern Nazi. As he made his opening remarks, and I clearly saw him for what he was; I attempted to raise my right hand to object and be heard. It was very difficult to raise my right hand, as some negative force tried to prevent me from doing so. However, I succeeded, and this speaker gave me the floor. Then I said that: It is wrong to attempt to control or guide the masses in any direction for selfish purposes, and it is openly interfering with their psychic space, their freedom . To this he cleverly changed the subject to cutting down the teachings of the Living Eck Master and Eckankar. He said, The failure of Eckankar & the Living Eck Master is in their obvious inability to prove the validity of their Eck Vidya (God-Knowledge) . He rambled on, but then I awoke feeling very aware that I had just met the Anti-Christ that I

62

have heard other people speak of as soon coming, to tear down Christianity, and anything else that stands against the forces of darkness. It will be interesting to see how Eckankar & Eckist stand against this AntiChrist . It will (also) be interesting to see which groups recognize this danger and which groups fall under its sly fear-promoting influence. (Note: My present thought on this is that there are many forms of an AntiLove among us now. We all need to BE (A) WARE of the danger of being influenced by the Fear Mongers. Those, who seek to control our emotional, mental, & Spiritual Energies (Soul), by holding us in chains of fear and ignorance. Which, they do by mixing small bits of truth, with a whole lot of fabricated lies and innuendo. Some of the greatest tragedies have been committed by good citizens stirred to un-reasoning fear & hatred by dark forces (manipulating or working through some Charismatic puppet that has a command of negatively charged words), wishing to create chaos, for their own gain. And sadly, human-kind never seems to get wise to these rabid deceivers, until, it is too late.) In my next dream I was being given (offered) some vast estate by someone. It had the flavor or feeling that it was being given by Kal Niranjan (negative Overlord of the worlds of time, space, matter, and energy). It felt like another one of his bribes to (have me) stay in the lower regions (of Creation) to gain mind power or (on the other-hand) perhaps this experience was mocked up by the Dream Master testing me again creating this dream experience, to test my reactions. (Anyway) While, in a mansion in the city, I was told, I was to have this vast estate by this grandfatherly man. He took me by train to see a great ranch where he intended that I should take over these vast holdings. I wasn t too impressed. On the train I got into a fight with the cowboys from the ranch at least five of them for not being dressed to suit them. After beating my way through them, I flew on (by myself) to the ranch.
63

Once there, I was greeted by the old man, the rest of the ranch hands, and by a lovely girl cousin whom I had never seen (before) and who seemed to dislike or resent me, as I was only half dressed. The ramrod of the outfit (ranch foreman) was a young man about 6 2 and about 225lbs and he was making smart-ass remarks about my lack of clothing. So I had had about enough between the cow-pokes on the train, the cold reception by the girl cousin, and now this foreman; not to mention, this old grandfatherly guy offering me all this wealth & power for which I had no desire... So, I came into this big foreman with a side-kick, followed with some other kicks, and punches. When we had finished, he was lying on his stomach, apparently near death & bleeding considerably. At that point, I felt compassion for this young man, as I had no reason to hate him. So I asked the Devine Spirit to heal him and let me accept his suffering and karma, and I did so knowing full well what that could mean. He was healed, and I apparently escaped having to take on his karma or suffering. Then I was sitting outside the bunk house, near the barn, and I was naked. The foreman was in the bunk house and some naked blond-haired woman came out of the bunk house and somewhat chastised me for healing the young man. Saying, that she should have been called, as I surely didn t know the risks involved, and I looked at her (detaching myself from her nakedness) and said, I was once a priest (In a past life), and I perfectly understood what I had done and the risks involved . So, I sat there calmly and a little towards the quiet side. Then I noted that I was sitting on an embankment, and a few feet below me was a dried up creek bed. In the sand & rocks there were some coins. Perhaps, there were lots of silver coins there, but I wasn t interested in their value so I ignored them. Then looking to my right, I saw another creek bed, and I saw something that looked like a large gold coin or disk about the size of the palm of my hand. It was not greed that motivated me to pick it up, but what that gold stirred within me Spiritually.
64

I picked it up and Don (my brother) was now sitting to my left, and I said, This gold coin represents Consciousness . Then I turned it around, trying to read the strange numbers & symbols on it. And, as my awareness of Its Nature rapidly expanded, I was flooded with Great Awareness and Love. I told Don (as I turned to him) that this Consciousness was Love & Life Itself, the Devine Spirit, and I wanted to share it with him. It was then that I noticed, Don was in a very strange body. It (his body) was both: male & female yet neither (Perhaps it was dream symbolism for the OverSelf or even the Soul body). Even though, it didn t appear to be Don, I seemed to know it was. He was very pleased that I wanted to share what I had found with him. While all this (Realization & Sharing) happened in a few moments I was simultaneously being rapidly raised in my Inner States of Consciousness. Suddenly, besides being flooded with Love & Bliss, I could hear the Eck the Music of a Beautiful Flute playing on the Soul Plane. It (the Sound of the Audible Life Stream) seemed to call to me, and I rose up into the sky above, and I was immediately surrounded in a rich Golden Light. Joyous song literally burst from my lips, and now with the Music of the Flute, there was the Sound of many Souls singing. It was so very, Beautiful! I sang of God s Love, and as I sang and listened to the Music of the Spheres, I was uplifted, continuously. To try to describe the uplifting the feeling of Joy, beyond imagination cannot be expressed, but I can recall what I saw as I moved upwards. As I said, I was surrounded by a Golden Light. Then as I soared upwards, I temporarily halted at a Higher Level, and as I did, the Light faded and seemed to re-appear to my left or right. And then, all I had to do was kind of wish it, and I shifted or flowed back into the Golden Light, again. Then, I was once again elevated up to another Level where the Light faded and I would see It (again) appear to one side of me, and I would move into the Golden Light, once more.

65

This happened four times, and I noticed there was both light & dark in each Level. Then, something different happened I can t really explain it. It seemed as though I turned somehow, and yet it wasn t like that at all. Anyway, everything I had seen (surrounding me, on each of the previous Levels) was gone. Now, instead of being surrounded by a Golden Light (as I was in the previous Levels), the whole Level (or Realm or Plane) was All in Gold and there wasn t any space other than what appeared to be near me. I was lifted up and put on some kind of dais; which was all Gold, and had a Gold & Silver Eagle of some kind upon each side of the stand. There was no longer a sensation of movement yet, I moved upward still further. I no sooner alighted upon one dais, than I was raised to another, still higher. Yet, each looked the same in looks, as far as I could perceive. When I came to the 3rd dais, something passed through me that made me feel I was going to be on the same Level as the Mahanta, and I did not feel such worthiness. And though, it wasn t actually thought that I was using, there was Something (Devine Spirit probably) which heard my feeling of unworthiness and It reacted (apparently) to my humbleness, by immediately moving me to a much Higher Level. This was too much I became aware of my physical body and I was feeling very high vibrations. It is not for me to speculate on this I think I will go have some breakfast. (End of Dream Journal Entry) (Note: As strange, as it might seem I had long ago forgotten, having had this particular experience of being lifted up beyond the worlds of duality and into the Pure Spiritual Realms. This experience had left me feeling uncomfortable in the sense that I had difficulty accepting that I, as a 1st Initiate of Eck, could possibly experience what I had experienced It was not until some years later, that I would remember due to a Soul Travel experience, where I traveled back along the Causal time track that I had been
66

a Higher Initiate of Eck in an earlier incarnation. Thus, I then understood that, as Soul, I had already climbed back into the God Worlds, previously.)
***************************************

Excerpt From Dream Journal June 25th 1975 Last week I had a dream of being up in a tree, just resting. The Tree was drying up; as I have not been too active in my Eck work lately. My Spiritual (Energy) flow has been low, and since acting as a vehicle for Spirit is like Water to my Life Tree I have got to get on the stick (get busy). A dream, I had early this morning, found me going to use my phone (Inner communication link with the Inner Master the Mahanta) only to find my phone broken-in-half. I went ahead and tried to use it and someone else was on the line. And, though she tried to ask me something, I hung up the phone thinking to myself: I will have to get the repairman (Inner Master) to fix this . (End of Dream Journal Entry) (Note: Because, I did not take the hint that the Dream Master had provided the week earlier with the Life Tree, drying up the Inner Master nudged me again (to get moving) by mocking up the experience with the broken phone. This is characteristic, of the subtle teaching methods, used by the Inner Master to awaken the student of Eck to actualize his/her goal of Soul-Realization, God-Realization, and becoming a Co-Worker with God.)
*******************************************

Excerpt From Dream Journal July 12th 1975 In one dream I was performing some sort of Spiritual task, helping someone. The unusual thing about it was that I took on the form or identity of one of my previous (past) personalities (incarnations), that of Kunah , a priest in the Land of Uigher (a once green and fertile land located where the Gobi Desert is now).

67

He (I) was taller then, and had a very commanding (powerful) voice. In the experience, while I (as, Kunah) performed my task, a brilliant Blue Light surrounded my robe. (End of Dream Journal Entry) (Note: As I began having more and more Inner experiences that made connections with my past-lives, I slowly peeled off another layer of programmed ego attachment. Recognizing that I had indeed lived hundreds (if not thousands) of other lives; each with its own unique ego-identity, forced me to confront the reality, that, the ego self-image I currently identified with; was just another programmed construct a role playing actor that I, as Soul, was using to gain the experiences, I was sent here to acquire.)
**********************************************

Excerpt From Dream Journal August 22, 1975 Before falling asleep last night I asked the Mahanta (Inner Master), to show me my future, to help me see my best course of action so as to serve Sugmad (God) best. Lovely women plague my dreams. My mind and senses desire a companion, and it is this which so troubles me. Loneliness is a thing of the mind & emotions. Yet, here in the physical (body) it is hard for me to hold to the Greater Purpose of Soul while all about me the pleasures of the flesh beckon me. I cannot be happy by returning to the old (ways of living) and I haven t found what it takes to completely surrender to the Devine Will.
*************************************************

In my dream experience Someone (Eck Master) came and led me on a journey, but I was not sure of what I saw or that I agreed with what I was told or shown. Then he, who led me, showed me some Golden Links in two Golden Chains.

68

Dangling from his right hand was a Chain of 5 Golden Links. Hanging from his left hand there were 3 Golden Links. There was a misty Light between the Golden Links held in his right & left hands. Each Chain Link representing an Eck Initiation. The smiling Being (Master) seemed to be telling me of what was to be and of my responsibilities And I seemed to shake my head at the thought of the burdens I must begin to bear. Then either I decided, or my Guide decided; that it was time for me to return to my physical body, and I awoke. (End of Dream Journal Entry) Excerpt Inner Experiences October 12th 1975 It s been awhile since I last wrote of my dreams. These experiences I call dreams are becoming very real to me, and I see them perhaps becoming closer to what is termed reality than the so-called waking state here on earth. In one experience, I was being hunted by the Kal (negative) Forces because the Kal had discovered that I had been working somewhat like a double-agent pretending to be in with the Kal Forces, but in reality working for the Eck (Holy Spirit Positive God Force). After a long journey I eluded my pursuers, or rather deceived them into looking elsewhere while in reality I was hiding among them (as most of them did not know what I looked like). On I continued And, I was going down a stairway singing with some children. Then I started flying over a large estate; with a beautiful mansion, all perched very high up on a cliff that over looked the lower material worlds of Creation. Then, I was clinging to a huge tree limb. Hanging out (carefully) over the cliff, which I now recognized, was on one corner of my estate. It was then, that I noticed some people in a neighboring estate; also up in a huge tree, and one very lovely girl was climbing down the tree if you could call it that, because she seemed to just walk down it, lightly stepping on invisible steps between clusters of leaves. It was a very lovely place.
69

In another experience my mother, brought me a tired old white cat and asked me to give It a Second Life or Rebirth. So, I severed It s head, and calling on the Eck Life Force, in an ancient language, I once knew as a priest I rejoined head & body, and the cat was made young and healthy again. This was a very powerful action. Rebirth is incorrect; as it is in reality a reactivation or awakening of the Spirit or Life Force. Intuitively, I understand this experience, but I will not explain it other than to say, that no experience in these lower worlds has more significance. In another experience, I was with most of my relatives and some friends (those that I have here in the physical realm). We were standing on the circular driveway, in front of the home my Grandparents once owned (overlooking the City of Medford). Before us, some twenty feet away out towards the valley stood two 10-12 foot high shimmering radiant multi-colored poles of Light (Energy). One was a Positive pole and the other a Negative pole (polarity). I had apparently gathered everyone there to give them a more dramatic lesson on the Law of Cause & Effect (Karma), or simply put, what you give (out) is what you receive back. To illustrate I gathered a handful of gravel from the drive and cast it at one of the poles. The gravel struck the pole and flew right back at me (knowing this would happen I easily dodged the flying gravel coming back at me). My voice clear and demanding mocking up some anger; to hold their wandering attention I proceeded with my lecture and demonstration. Again, I picked up a large rock and cast it at a pole (it wouldn t matter which pole) and it, like the pebbles, came back at me equally fast and again, I dodged it. I proceeded with the demonstration using larger & larger objects until I pushed a car into one of the poles, and in a burst of electrical sparks it bounced and rolled back towards me. I think I reached their Inner Consciousness, it will be interesting to see how their outer (awareness) does.
70

Later, I was out lounging on a lawn chair while the relatives were interacting and roaming around the place (Grandparents old house & yard). I was feeling quite contented because I at last understood what was going on. The clouds were moving in harmony with my thoughts (imagination) and feeling. At one point I rolled over and some flowers growing nearby opened their buds to reveal their lovely colors to me again, in reflection (response) to my thoughts and feelings. My mother came up to me and I immediately told her I wanted to see a scar she had on her stomach over her appendix. I was going to heal the scar, but I had difficulty because I tried to push (force) it to heal. Spirit will not work that way. The imagination works in conjunction with the Eck (God Force). It (the God Force) will not do anything if pushed . It must be allowed to just flow. It can only course through us to do what we want or need done when we let It, just Be. Spirit knows what to do when we need something. We simply have to trust It and let It work through us. (End of Journal Entry)
**********************************************

Several times, since I had returned home from military service (and then, really gotten into my Spiritual Quest) I had the experience, of what I had taken to be, attempts (by some unknown force or entity) to possess my body. When this had happened, I would be sleeping, and I would feel pressure in the middle of my back between my shoulder blades, along my spine. This really upset me, and I would fight against this attack . At some point, there was an Inner communication that made me aware that I was not being possessed by evil forces Excerpt Inner Experiences November 2nd 1975 On many occasions now, I hear music playing in my head; just as I awaken in the morning. Usually, it is some nice song I have heard on the radio, but last night
71

was one of those rare occasions when I heard the Eck Itself, the Devine Sound Current. The Sound of a Single Buzzing Bee (usually I hear multiple Bees) which is the Sound of the Eck associated with the Etheric Plane just below the Soul Plane. The Etheric Plane is the Level of True Miracles, and as the Eck would have it One was bestowed upon me in the form of actually moving & shifting the vertebras in my back. I have had back trouble in the middle of my back for some time between the shoulder blades. I was gazing at something shining before my Spiritual Eye. I knew something was about to happen. I heard the Eck Sound (Bee Sound), and felt great pressure on the middle of my back as though some immense hand was pressing me against a wall. But, it wasn t painful, and since I ve experienced similar occurrences (with the Eck or Eck Masters) I was not afraid. (Note: Though I did not realize it at that time, the Eck Master who was working on my spine had a greater purpose behind his efforts than simply putting my vertebras back in their correct alignment more on this later.) Earlier, I awoke after some experience with the name Tamanata Kop going through my mind as if to say I was either there or was perhaps discussing it. On impulse, I got up and went into the kitchen, and on the wall I have an Eckankar God Worlds Chart (shows the major Levels or Planes of Heaven). Tamanata Kop is on the Alakh Lok just above the Soul Plane in the Pure God Worlds, and it is one of the Golden Wisdom Temples where Eck Students are taken and given Spiritual Instruction. (End of Journal Entry)

72

Disguised with Purpose

Excerpt Inner Experiences December 12th 1975 In one experience, I entered a beautiful house. In the kitchen (which had a beautifully carved table and cupboards), I found Dad. Only, somehow I knew that it wasn t Dad , at all. I apologized, as I felt I might be invading someone else s psychic (personal) space, without permission. I looked at Dad and in every detail it appeared to be Dad , but I suddenly knew that it was really the Living Eck Master. So, as I stared at him he transformed back into his real form (the form I recognize as the Living Eck Master). I said, Master, why do you take on so many different forms when you are with me? (That is not what I said word for word, but that is close) The Master shared, that it was necessary, to suit the needs of my particular emotional and mental make-up It is only thus, that he can work with me and not unduly influence my actions (responses) by the very fact that I was aware of his presence. For, if I knew he was there, I would always strive to do better, but I would not necessarily be acting naturally, or as I would if he wasn t present (in my awareness). Thus (he pointed out), I could be tested, worked, and shaped into a Clear & Pure Channel for the Devine Eck (Holy Spirit) without doing it simply to please, The Master , but instead, doing what I was doing because I chose (from my own Inner motivation) to act with Spiritual Ethics & Wisdom. (End of Journal Entry)

73

Dark Night of Soul

Excerpt Inner Experiences January 15th 1976 In all my lives, in all of this earthly experience, and in the almost four years (which includes the 2 years I studied before I sought membership with Eckankar) that I have studied Eck under the guidance of the Living Eck Master, the Mahanta never have I seen a sadder time than now. By my own action, of not acting as I should have, due to a lack or emptiness in my own heart I have been expelled from school expelled from my Inner Spiritual training under the Inner Master and the Masters of the Vairagi. No one (but possibly another student of Eck) could possibly feel or understand such an experience. It is to know you have failed to live up to your responsibilities to God Itself. It is to truly feel unworthy of Life. This failure, on my part, stems from a lot of things: laziness, inactivity, excesses in self-indulgences, setting an extremely poor example of leadership in Eck, bad attitude, generally out of balance, being weak or afraid to face life s problems, lack of proper self-discipline, lack of deep enough or true enough faith in the Eck, terrible mental discipline and emotional problems, and in general I m just not worthy of my school, nor my teachers. There were a series of dreams last night, where in general I just didn t have it together. It came down to a crucial test of my trust & loyalty to Eck & the Mahanta and I didn t have it. After all I ve experienced, after all I ve seen and done I betrayed my Master, my Self (Soul), and the Eck teachings. In general I am not fit to associate with anyone of any Spiritual evolution at all. I m not sure at this point what I should try to do. I don t know if I can get back into school again. I don t know if I can ever (End of Journal Entry)

74

Restoration
Excerpt Journal & Inner Experiences January 19th 1976 I quit writing at the above point with tears streaming down my face, and I went and spent the rest of that day on the side of a mountain crying torn apart. Perhaps, it truly was my Dark Night of Soul when I felt that I had been cast out by the Eck and the Mahanta, by God Itself. It was truly a painful experience. As I sat on the side of that mountain (crying inconsolably), I began to feel the unusually warm winter sun And I remembered something I once heard about God having such great Love, for all His Children, that He made the sun to shine down upon all of them, equally, no matter who they were, what they did, or how low they appeared to sink. That night, I was still torn-up, but I felt I had to write to the Living Eck Master to ask, if I should also give up my tasks here on earth, for Eckankar. So, I went to sleep deciding that I would write the Living Eck Master in the morning if, I wasn t instructed otherwise during my dreams... At one point in my dreams, I viewed myself sitting in a tree, in a foggy swamp, writing sorrowfully to the Master. Then there was an Inner experience where I journeyed to the year 1030 A.D., to a time where I appeared to be a young student monk and had been instructed to enter a forest full of dangerous predators (at night). And since I was instructed to go alone, I was fearful and thought (to myself) how much simpler it would be to just tell the Master who had sent me to do this, that I had done it, but secretly, I would be hidden in my parent s house through the long dark night. The young monk appeared to be my younger brother (not the one in my present life), but I seemed to know it (he) was actually myself. So, I talked (telepathically) with this younger brother and told him not to betray his Master s trust. And to go to the forest for the night because I knew he would be safe. So he did.
75

Then I shifted into an experience where someone who was an enemy of mine was drowning in a green pool of water, and I dove in to save his life (even though I felt he might be trying to trick me so he could kill me). It has been said, He who shall save his life shall lose it, and he who shall give his life shall find it . The Inner experience I recorded on January 15th, where I felt (out of unreasoning fear) that I had to betray the God Forces, to save my own life, was where I lost my life. This last experience where I risked my life to save a life returned the life I had lost, to me. No one will ever be able to tell me that the Inner Master doesn t know how to teach a valuable lesson, in a dramatic way! When I finally began to re-enter my physical body to awaken, I saw (through my Spiritual Eye) the Inner Master re-connecting my Spiritual Connection to the Holy Spirit, the Eck. (End of Journal Entry)

Opening a Channel
Excerpt Inner Experiences January 24th 1976 After I got in bed last night, I gave myself some repeated affirmations to awaken (after my physical body fell asleep) at the foot of the bed in the Soul Body. Also, without a lot of thought about it I rolled over onto my left-side which I knew would make it convenient for the Inner Master (or whichever Eck Master it was) to do some more work on my spinal column. So I fell asleep, and immediately (it seemed), I felt a familiar pushing in my back and so I relaxed and was pushed off the bed (in my Astral Body), onto my back, and my spine was popped as I call it. I could vaguely make out the outline of the Master as he applied pressure to my chest, to get my vertebras to move.

76

I asked him (telepathically) if I might be allowed to talk with him for a couple minutes and be totally conscious of what was happening, but he or It (the Holy Spirit) just ignored my request. When It was finished, I slipped back into my physical body, on the bed. But, I could not stay in it (my physical body) because the Inner Master poured an immense amount of Love & Energy into my spinal column (perhaps to check out his work). The sensitivity of my nervous system was really sharpened, and when I got back into my body I had to bite my covers, just to keep from yelling, because it felt SO GOOD! I really felt high. Like, I had an Energy Current of Pure Love or Bliss flowing rapidly through me! (End of Journal Entry)

2nd Initiation
In mid- March, I joined fellow Eckist up in Eugene, Oregon for a Regional Eckankar Seminar. As I waited in line to register for the seminar powerful waves of Energy raced up and down my spine I frankly, didn t know what to think about that. I asked myself questions like: Is this associated with coming to an Eck Seminar? and Does everybody feel this? The waves of Energy left me just standing there for a minute or so, just smiling. Later, I realized that it probably had something to do with being a vehicle for Spirit It was using me to reach out to others. Only later, upon reflection, would I connect this experience with the earlier adjustments to my spine, provided by, the unknown Eck Master. While I was at the seminar, I met with an Eck Higher Initiate, an Initiator (who is chosen and trained by the Living Eck Master to act as his vehicle in this Service). My two years of basic Eck study had been completed in February, and I had asked to receive my 2nd Initiation. During the afternoon, I met with the Eck Initiator for my Outer Initiation , and that night, the Mahanta came and took me into the Inner Worlds to give me my
77

Inner Initiation a greater or stronger link-up to the Light & Sound of God. It was very Special. Afterwards, I took it upon myself, to attend to a personal issue which amounted to resolving my growing sense of need for companionship (finding a Mate). As I mentioned before, I had previously arranged and then terminated the arrangement to marry the young lady I met in Hawaii. So, now several years later, I was feeling a bit more mature and ready to take on the challenge of marriage. In a state of greatly heightened Awareness, I flew to the site of a Sacred Shrine, and arranged the marriage of my future Bride and myself. Then I shifted awareness onto the Time Track and went into the future to get a look at, the young lady I had just arranged to meet & marry. And yes, I had known her before this current incarnation. What I viewed, in the future, was my future wife working in a restaurant as a waitress. I watched her for several minutes being sure to get a good look at her, so that I would recognize her when I met her on the earth plane. So, after the Eck seminar, when I got back to my apartment, in Medford, I had work to do! Immediately, I moved across town to a larger and much nicer apartment, as it wouldn t do to bring my new Bride into the small apartment I had been living in. Also, I bought all new furniture. The move went quickly, and then all I had to do was keep my eyes peeled for my prospective companion. Unfortunately, I had not thought to check (at the time I made the arrangements) to see WHEN I would meet her, but I felt it would not be long. So, everywhere I went, I looked at every lady, that even remotely resembled, the young woman I had seen on the Inner. Several times, I saw women that reminded me of her, but they just weren t quite what I remembered, so I kept looking. On April 10, several of the local Eck students had decided to make the hour long drive over to the small town of Cave Junction, Oregon, to bring a potluck
78

meal item to the Cave Junction Community Center, for an evening of sharing, dubbed; the Art of Life . Our Eck friend, in Cave Junction, was a local artist. She had invited her art students, the local community, and any Eckist who wished to attend. That afternoon, I baked up some really rich buttery fondue-like recipe, to take with me. Before, I had finished baking it, I started to feel kind of queasy and almost talked myself out of going but I didn t. After arriving, there was a busy time, as people arrived and things were set out and tables adjusted. At one point, I walked over by a tall window (noting that the sky was cloudy and it was raining) and I began to wonder to myself: When am I ever going to meet this woman, I am going to marry? Resigning myself to being patient, I turned and walked back across the room and stepped up on a low wide podium. And, as I did, I had my back to the door everyone was using to enter the building from All of a sudden, waves of Bliss-Filled-Energy began racing up and down my spine. Then the Energy rose up into my head. It filled my head with extremely intense Light. The Ecstasy that came with the Light literally forced the widest Smile, I had ever had, onto my face, filling me with absolute Joy! I KNEW, without having to turn around, that SHE had just walked into the room! Trying to gain control of my facial muscles, so I could turn around and face her, (without looking like the Joker from Batman) was one of the hardest things, I have ever done. But, turn I did, and all I could see was a large floppy hat, an arm load of goodies obscuring her face, my Brother offering her help with her bundle of things, a long dress, and a short petite form with the most wonderfully small feminine boots. Everything moved very swiftly in the room at that point, we were advised to find a place to sit. And, I m wondering to myself how do I arrange to sit next to her? Somewhere in those very few minutes, she had noticed me and when she found a place to sit she, had saved a place next to her, for me (problem solved!).
79

Karen and I exchanged information before we left the gathering. We met again in 3 days, at which time I proposed marriage to her (That took her aback as she hadn t consciously expected any, of what was now occurring in her life). She was a little slow about the idea. (Really, what is so odd about someone asking you to marry them on your 2nd meeting? After all, it had been 3 whole days!) But, over the next few weeks, I managed to convince her to marry me which she did two months later, in June.
*******************************************

So, this is the summary of my life up to almost age 27. Last year, when I started thinking about writing this greatly edited version of my early life It was because I wanted to share with my young nephews and nieces, and perhaps some family maybe a few friends just the early story of my life and some of my experiences that might inspire a few to Boldly Go Where (Few) Others Have Gone Before (at least while they are still living in a physical body).

Sharing a bit more

Now, I am being nudged from Within to write a little bit about the 35 years that came after the story I have shared with you so far Within 6 months, after we were married, Karen had taken the initiative (while I was working) to find us a place in the country to live. So, we moved out to the Applegate River Valley, west of the Rogue Valley and the City of Medford. With the experiences I had had with a diverse group of people coming from different approaches attempting to either convert me or condemn me for my experiential beliefs I should have learned something, but in my youthful exuberance (and contrary to the Eckankar teachings), I made the mistake of pushing the teachings of Eckankar on to Karen Ha Ha! That didn t flush! Though a couple years later she did join Eckankar, Not she said, because of the teaching itself , but because she really liked what she saw in the People of Eck . As you have seen, both Karen and the Inner Master (the Mahanta) had their work cut out for them, with me. My experiences expanded, as I gradually grew
80

into accepting greater responsibility in the local Eck Community and on the Higher Planes of Reality, we call Heaven. And, with each of the (later) Initiations I received, there was a greater amount of the Audible Life Stream (Holy Spirit) that I had to learn to work with on the Inner & Outer. Each Initiation brought me into a higher dimension of Heaven which, was like having to learn how to crawl, walk, and run over & over again and again. With each rung on the Ladder I was climbing, there were whole new situations, Spiritual Laws, and responsibilities to learn and adjust to. That kept things challenging for me.

Clark Kent
On October 22nd 1981, Darwin Gross passed the Leadership of Eckankar on to his successor, Sri Harold Klemp ( Sri is a traditional Eastern term of respect, used the way we use Mr. here in the West). When Mr. Klemp was introduced as the new Living Eck Master, I recall thinking to myself that he looked like Superman s alter-ego, Clark Kent . Having been raised on a mid-western farm he certainly fit my idea of the profile, with his dark rimmed glasses and soft spoken voice And I recall thinking back to words I had read a year or so before; about the Eck Masters being spoken of as the Supermen" of all the Spiritual Realms. That night, as I lay in bed, my Spiritual Eye opened and Sri Harold suddenly flew up to me wearing a colorful Superman outfit. All I could do was laugh and smile, as I once again, got to appreciate another demonstration of the Humor, Love, and obvious Awareness of these Great Adepts of Eck. The new Living Eck Master, the Mahanta, had clearly noted my thoughts earlier regarding his appearance and comportment!

Some Quick Recollections

Many of my moments of clearly recalling what I was experiencing activity-wise, on the Inner Planes, have come in the form of small snippets of sharp clear experience. For example: Suddenly, I would find myself in one of my Spiritual
81

bodies and I would be with an individual or with a group of individuals (sometimes I recognized them as people I knew, sometimes they were people I didn t know, and sometimes the Soul s I encountered were encased in vessels that were not of the human species) and at that moment, I would enter into the experience, often feeling like someone does when they walk into a movie that is just ending or in progress. Often a knowingness or clear recognition was supplied to my awareness of what kind of situation I had suddenly been included into, but rarely did I get to stay for the whole show . It was more like, the Mahanta, or possibly Soul (Itself) just wanted my outer ego-awareness to know that at a Higher Level of Awareness, I was performing these Services or participating in a particular activity. There were occasionally other times, when I would become fully aware, while on some mission and I would interact longer with the Beings I met. After doing whatever I had come to do, I would sometimes, go exploring in the new Realm I happened to find myself in, or simply find a place to sit and soak in the Majesty, of what surrounded me. As with all experiences, there are ones that stick in our minds as being stand-outs . Places and Beings that; were too incredible, to ever forget. Some examples come to mind at this moment Once I attended an Eck class given by the Mahanta, in which; the Mahanta had manifested a lighted class room with no walls or ceiling; just school desks and chairs; on a black & white tiled floor, and he had placed it all right in the middle of the dark outer-space of some beautiful, illuminated galaxy, that was fully surrounding us. Another adventure I found myself in another universe listening to a small warm-hearted alien race that used musical tones as a form of speech. Another experience Once I spent some time in a Realm of Golden honey colored Light. With Beings that lived in sculpted smooth amber-looking glass chambers, that hung in the sky. These Beings lived in a very High Vibratory State.
82

They were PERFECTLY formed, BEAUTIFUL, tall, muscular, hair-less and naked, with impossibly smooth Golden skin. They had tiny wings attached to both sides of their ankle bones which they did not require, to fly. And, as I often did when visiting other Beings, I had manifested a body to interact with in that environment that looked just like theirs. Twice I have found myself on a zigzag (8 wide) stairway in a vast softlyilluminated space. The stairs looked literally millenniums old. And, as I have stopped while climbing those stairs I have heard the Heavens about me filled with the Sound of Angels singing in the millions, as I turn and look back, I see not one, but two of our Earth s hanging in that sky seeming to almost touch parallel to each other.

Light & Sound

All that exists is made up of the Holy Spirit or Light & Sound of God. Each Level of Heaven has its own unique Colors of Light & Wondrous Sounds that create and sustain the vibratory qualities of each particular Region. The Mahanta, the Inner Side of the Living Eck Master, is the Eck (Holy Spirit). This I have experienced countless times appearing to my Spiritual Vision with the Eck manifesting in the form of the outer physical vehicle of the Living Eck Master; sometimes coming in the form of a Royal Blue 6-pointed-Star or some other Radiantly Colored Light and often accompanied by the Sounds of Eck Many times, I have woken on clear sunny mornings to the Sound of Thunder gently rolling through my head Thunder is the God Sound of the Physical Plane of our experience. On the Astral Plane, I have stood by an ocean with hundred foot waves towering just a few feet off shore the God Sound manifesting in the Roar of those Waves would have likely destroyed the hearing of my physical body.

83

On the Causal Level, I have suddenly found myself at the head of a beautiful rectangular Grecian pool with pillars to each side, and between them there were standing walls of running waters that made the God Sound of the Tinkling of Bells. On the Mental Realm I have listened to the God Sound in the form of Mighty Rushing Waters as they cascaded down seemingly endless rapids, with waterfalls. Many times I have heard the God Sound of the Etheric Plane, heard as the Buzzing of a Bee or the Buzzing of a Hive of Bees. And as I have mentioned before I have been Blessed with the God Sound of the Single (high-pitched) Note of a Flute issuing out of the Soul Plane. There are many other God Sounds that I have heard All of which have left me with no doubt in my Heart that these are manifestations of the Voice of God the Eck. As I have grown, the Mahanta (Inner Master) has placed me under the guidance of the Eck Masters who are Guardians of the Eck Wisdom Temples (located here and on the different Levels of Heaven). These Eck Adepts have often come to me, accompanied by the God Sounds that are associated with the Realm of Heaven, they are working from.

Spiritual Law of Silence

Though I have many memories of my Inner travels, lessons learned, Beings I have worked with or met, and endless wonders that I have seen I have kept few written records of these later experiences. After my 2nd Initiation I decided to cease my journal because I became concerned about violating the Spiritual Law of Silence . This Law is somewhat self determining, in that, the student of the Holy Spirit (Eck) comes to recognize that there are certain experiences, that one does not discuss, or even write down. Especially, as regards knowledge the Mahanta or the Eck Masters impart that is not meant for the Un- Initiated as in certain cases
84

where that knowledge can or might damage others, if they are not properly prepared (emotionally & mentally). Additionally, if an individual speaks too much about their Inner affairs (activities), they will find that both the Light & Sound of God and the continuing flow of stimulating Spiritual experiences, dry up and become inaccessible, for some time. This function, of the Spiritual Law of Silence, goes a long way towards helping to maintain respect, responsibility, and a growing sense of humility when working in this Sacred Space. (And yes, I am truly aware that I have pushed the limits of this Law in this writing.)

Guidance from the Eck Masters

The Mahanta (the Inner Master) or one of the Eck Adepts of the Vairagi would often come to take me into the Inner Worlds to be either instructed in the Secret Knowledge of the Eck, or to help me work out whatever emotional or mental issues I had that were impeding my Inner & Outer growth. About a year after Karen and I were married, I had quit the job I had with the fabrication plant. And for a time I tried my hand at becoming a salesman, but just didn t have the knack for that type of work. (It was at this point in time, that Karen found that job working as a waitress that, I had pre-viewed on the timetrack back before, meeting her physically.) There came a point, that I had lost all confidence in my ability to make a living . My emotional & mental bodies were becoming locked-up with fear and I was seriously stagnating. Karen was patient and supportive, but I got so petrified inside, that I literally could not get myself out of my lounge chair, to go look for work. After several weeks of this immobility feeling really desperate inside I called out for help on the Inner. That night I went to bed and found myself on the Astral Plane
85

Someone had given me, a very sharp looking broadsword. Then I was told to head on into a labyrinth, where (I was told) I could expect to find at least two other individuals waiting for me, also with swords. The exact situation was not fully explained. So, I took it, that these two other individuals were waiting in this maze just around the next doorway or wall, with their swords ready to chop me into little pieces. So off I went, into this convoluted set of passages and switchbacks sweating with fear and on my guard, constantly. After several very long tense minutes of working my way through this tangled warren, I came out to a large open tiled courtyard. In the court, I found the two individuals (that, only moments before, I had been expecting to pounce on me) already standing out on the large open floor. Each of them was slowly fearfully turning in a tight circle, expecting (as had I), to be attacked at any moment. As I stood there observing the two other sword-welders as they revolved around and around I noted that they were becoming borers, as; with each turn, they were drilling themselves into a deeper & deeper hole in the ground. Watching them caused me to suddenly have an epiphany... I could see what my exaggerated fears were doing to me, and with this realization: the Eck Master, Fubbi Quantz suddenly appeared beside me, with a smile as he saw, that his mocked up lesson had taken root in my awareness. The next morning I got up with enthusiasm. Lesson learned. All I had to do was keep moving forward! I drove to town and went from business to business putting in applications, and within a week, I had found a new job.

Fur Balls
Karen and I enjoyed our life in the country. We had a wood stove that we spent a lot of time cutting wood for. We had a garden. And we had a few Soul Traveling

86

cats that we loved a great deal. Cats that live in the country are not always particularly long lived. Our first cat, we named Kitty . He was a scruffy old black cat that I brought home from work. He had gotten sick and we adopted him. Some years later he passed on, and knowing as I did by then that animal bodies, are containers for Soul too I started watching on the Inner, for signs of his return. About 3 weeks after he had translated (passed away), I was out Soul Traveling and the Inner Master guided me to witness Kitty s rebirth. What I saw was Kitty (in his Spirit body) entering the vessel of a freshly birthed kitten, and I suspect the Mahanta had arranged this particular incarnation, as; I also noted (during the rebirth), that the mother cat belonged to a new Eck Family that Karen and I had just recently met. So, after I awoke the next morning, I located a phone number for the new Eckist and gave them a call. I asked if they had a mama cat that had just had kittens, and after only a slight hesitation, the man I spoke to said Yes . And I asked him if he would like to get rid of one of them, and he said he would love to! Karen and I excitedly followed the directions over to this family s home in Medford. They greeted us and led us out to their back yard. As we started out the back door, I could see a short sided box out across the yard with a mama cat and some little fur balls, crawling all over her. Immediately, it occurred to me that (as they all looked similar) I wasn t sure which one was Our Kitty and so in that sudden realization, I asked inwardly Mahanta, how do I recognize our cat? Then, before we had hardly finished stepping out of the door one little kitten, struggled up over the side of the box and came running right up to Karen and me. Thank You, Mahanta! Kitty was in a female body this time, and so we named her Mariko . She had the exact same temperament as she had had earlier, as Kitty.

87

When our other favorite cat, Bo (short for Beauregard) passed-on, we did the same thing with him, and he too came back as a female, that we named Yin , because we decided to also take her remaining male sibling, too. Which, we named Yang . All of these cats, at various times, Soul Traveled with me on many of my Inner excursions. Kitty, invited himself to that class I mentioned earlier (the one where the Mahanta had manifested a classroom in deep space). That was a humorous and slightly embarrassing distraction!

Changes
Karen had a kidney transplant in the late 1980 s. It changed our lives; as she had not had a lot of energy before the transplant. Afterwards, she went back to college, got a great job, and we were able to take up hiking and mountain climbing, together. We did almost everything together. After Karen s transplant, we both withdrew from our outer activities with Eckankar. Karen was busy with school, and I had a duel sense of need to step aside so that others would have the opportunity to step into my leadership role, and also, I had started to feel regrets and a lot of inner frustration that I had not spent more time focusing on the Mastery of Soul Travel & Expanded Consciousness. The Eck warned me (in a dream) that this shift in my thinking was not a good plan, not at least, as far as my Spiritual Growth was concerned. But, being the somewhat (as Karen has described me) recalcitrant individual that I am, I chose to ignore the Inner warning.

After-Life
About thirteen years later, Karen came to me in a dream one night. She told me she had cancer. Two weeks later, we had it confirmed by a doctor. After four or five operations, and about a year and a half later, we were told she had only a few months to live.
88

When Karen passed away, I was with her. She had just turned 57. It had been 30 years since the day I had proposed to her. We were (and still are) incredibly close, so it was no wonder to me that over the next couple weeks, as she made her transition to the Other-Side, I was able to witness a good deal of what she went through as she recovered from the physical & psychological trauma she had endured while her physical body had been destroyed by the cancer. Over the next year and a half to two years, I saw Karen almost every night, on the Inner. It has been almost five years now (since she passed), and I still see her 4-6 times a week. Seeing Karen almost nightly has been a blessing, and it has also been challenging. We rarely spend more than a few minutes together at one time. Then I get involved in some activity or something whisks me back into my physical body. As with all my friends and relatives that I have observed (after their passing); they all appear to have acclimatized within a few weeks (based on my relation to Earth time) to the reality of inhabiting healthy whole bodies, that usually look like they did when they were about 25 years old, only much better. When I first started visiting the Other-Side, if I met friends or relatives who had passed away during their old age; they usually made their appearance look like the old people that I knew and recognized. Later, as they began to accept my visitations they stopped trying to appear old for my sake, and now they all just look their natural youthful selves. Now that I too am older, that is what I usually do too (manifest in a young body) when I visit them. Many people have out-dated Biblical images come to mind when they think of Heaven . The Inner Realms have grown along with humanity. There is plenty of hi-tech on the Astral Plane and there is conflict in certain areas.

89

My Guardian Angels
Just before Karen had passed away, I had been working as a Nuclear Medicine courier. One of my rotating routes was to take Hwy 140 over the mountains to Merle West Medical Center in Klamath Falls, Oregon. It is just over 150 miles, round trip. During the winter, the highway is usually covered with snow and ice going over the mountains. Early one morning, as I started to make my way up the initial mountain I was approaching the first, of many miles, of slick twists and turns, in the road. As I approached the first big curve, I was already slowing down to the 45 mph speed at which I would normally take the turn given the icy conditions. Then very clearly I heard my Mom (who had passed-away several years before) telepathically say in my head: Slow down for this corner! And I answered, OK , and immediately I slowed down to about 25 mph and safely went around the corner. Then I went on to Klamath Falls, dropped off the medical doses, and headed back to Medford. When I came back down the mountain as I approached the corner where my Mom had warned me to slow down; there were glowing flares, and a lot of flashing lights coming from an ambulance and a local Search & Rescue vehicle And there was a large sedan upside down and over the bank at the exact same curve my Mom had warned me about.
****************************************

Both my Mom and Karen have come to advise me on my diet since they have moved over to the Other-Side. Specifically, they advised me to avoid sugar (Mom) and chicken fat (Karen). About 6 months after Karen passed away, I put in my resignation at work. For the next four years I had gone without working and my bank account was dwindling away, rapidly.
90

One morning in July, as I returned to my physical body, Karen said to me (telepathically) In 50 days I will cease to be a Fretanairian . Not having ever heard the term Fretanairian didn t impede my understanding that she was fretting about something, but I could not think of exactly what. When I got out of bed, I went into my kitchen and got the calendar down, off the wall. I noted the date, and using my finger, I carefully counted off, 50 days. The fiftieth day would be September 1st. September 1st had been her Mom s birthday and since Karen s Mom had just passed away, I thought to myself, Well maybe this has something to do with her Mom , but again, I could not imagine what. In the meantime, I recalled that I had reached that age when I could apply for Karen s Social Security Benefits. Realizing, I was getting low on funds, and thinking it would likely take at least three months before I would get any Benefits; I went into the local Social Security office and applied. As it turned out, I would be getting the Social Security Benefits sooner than I expected. According to the info I had received in the mail, I could expect the first check to be direct-deposited in my account about the 3rd week of September. So, September 1st came and went, and I saw nothing relating to what Karen had said, nothing relating to anything to do with her Mom or to me, on the 1st. However, the next day, I was using my online bill-pay and when I downloaded my current account balance it showed that; on September 1st my first Social Security check had been deposited Now, Karen could cease to be a Fretanairian . These events with my Mom and My Heart-Mate, Karen, speak volumes about the continuity of Love.

Survival
We have a responsibility, to survive here in this world, for as long as reasonably possible. Committing suicide, just because we do not like it here or think we are
91

unworthy of Life, doesn t work out well for us. This world is more than a little challenging for many of us. It helps to take the time to acquaint ourselves with our Inner Reality, our purpose in Being. Observation and Soul Travel experiences have confirmed what the Eck Masters have taught me. And, that is; that there are no accidents in the universe. Everything we experience here is the result of a Cause and that means that at some point in this life, or an earlier incarnation, we created our present circumstances out of the energies of our thoughts, words, or deeds. As it is said It All Comes Around . Blaming others or God for what isn t right in our life, only adds to our suffering. Choosing to not acknowledge our personal responsibility, for what comes our way, only displays our ignorance of our own history and the Spiritual Laws of Life. If we do not like what we have created, then we have the power to re-shape our experience beginning with our next thought, word, or action.

About Those Lessons

If we can begin to consider the idea that Soul was sent here to gain Spiritual Lessons in appreciating the Gift of Life Itself, in learning to both Give and Receive Love, and in learning to take responsibility for what It creates Then we can also step back objectively (within ourselves) and reflect that; it would defeat the purpose of the school, were a Spiritual Master to take on the karma, for what we have created. My observation and experience tell me that we are meant to grow into becoming our own Savior our own Liberator. Great Spiritual Adepts can point the Way, but we have to do the work or what have we gained?
************************************

92

Additional Thoughts
One does not have to be religiously inclined or Spiritually motivated to learn how to have an Out-of-Body experience or to explore the possibilities of doing your own dream research. There are literally hundreds of books out there now, describing in great detail both Astral Projection & useful Dream techniques. If you are interested, you may wish to check out the books by William Buhlman & Robert Moss. (See below for my suggestions on: Eckankar, Dreams, & Soul Travel) Something, to give some thought to, is that If the physical body survives to be 75 years old, it will have spent approximately 25 years of that time in bed with the Guest housed within it, Gone to the world . Science has proven (in sleep labs) that we all dream. Some of the world s greatest artist, inventors, writers, leaders, business people, scientist, and countless other individuals have gotten their best inspirations from dreams. This is no accident. We each came into this physical realm with Spiritual Tools to access an expanded Awareness. But, they are wasted on us if we do not make the effort to recognize and use them. (Karen s dad is 94 years old now, and he is learning to do this ) It is a priceless gift you give to yourself to take up the challenge of Knowing Thyself . Such a Quest is a continuous journey. Soul is ageless It is not in a hurry. If you decide to take up this personal adventure, be aware that there is an ebb and flow aspect to this unfolding process. There are times when the tide of Eck is in and you are swimming in new experiences and insights, and there is a time when the tide is out and you will feel like Moses wandering the desert in dire need, of another mouthful, of the Waters of Life. New students and old students alike; can and often do, make the mistake of pushing on that Inner Door that leads to the Inner Realms. Reading & Contemplating to excess; can set us back, as we unwittingly fail to allow the Eck (Holy Spirit) time to gently break up the old stagnated emotional & mental energy patterns that must give way, for Spirit to Awaken & Manifest an Expanded Awareness, in our lives.
93

We do not need to isolate ourselves from the world around us to gain SoulRealization & God-Realization. We do not need to do something foolish, like leave or neglect our loved ones. Instead, we learn gradually; to grant ourselves and others the Sacred Space (and time) needed, for individual experience and growth. Most of us can find time to do a little reading, focus on a dream we had, or spend 20 minutes each day, doing a Spiritual Exercise, that will gradually expand our Inner Awareness. Reading Sacred Scriptures has great merit, but it cannot take the place of actually experiencing direct contact with, and a connection to, the Light & Sound of God. Some inexperienced individuals would have you believe that only people like Christ s Apostles, Mystics, Saints, and other Holy Men can have the direct experience of this Greater Reality. That simply is not true, and you can learn to demonstrate this, for yourself. In my many lifetimes of experience, I have attached myself to many different religious and Spiritual schools (they all had value). Only you can determine what Path will suit your personal needs at this point in your Spiritual unfoldment. There is a flow and rhythm to every course of action. Much of what an individual does to Awaken is about learning to Just Be with the Audible Life Stream that is within and around us, always. You are SPECIAL! You are UNIQUE! As Soul you have lived many lifetimes in physical bodies with different colors, sizes, shapes, sexes, and beliefs. No one else has experienced exactly what you have, nor will they. Until you grow to the point that you can recall all your other incarnations; here and in the other Realms you cannot begin to appreciate how Extraordinary, you already are. And, Soul is Greater than the sum, of all these lifetimes.

With my Love & Gratitude, Michael Morton

94

E-mail: Mike7star@aol.com Though I would like to answer all e-mails promptly as with all things, it will depend on how many I receive and how much time I have available, to give reply. Also, please keep in mind, that my responses will reflect my personal understanding and not necessarily that of Eckankar.
************************************

Additional Info: Books: (available in most major book stores & from Eckankar) The Art of SPIRITUAL DREAMING by Harold Klemp The SPIRITUAL EXERCISES OF ECK by Harold Klemp ECKANKAR THE KEY TO SECRET WORLDS by Paul Twitchell

The Eckankar Web site offers: free introductory materials, information on the Living Eck Master & the Eck Masters, discourses (with paid membership), Eck books, articles written by the Living Eck Master, Spiritual Exercises, and as you browse through the different web-pages, you will often note, that there are many different videos scattered throughout the Site. Each presenting: the Living Eck Master, speaking and illuminating, a wide range of topics. http://www.eckankar.org

95