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Al Selden Leif - Jokes - I'm So Goth (6)

Al Selden Leif - Jokes - I'm So Goth (6)

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Published by LuschersUnderworld

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Published by: LuschersUnderworld on Sep 17, 2008
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05/09/2014

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This is the
"I'm So Goth List".
I don't care if you've already seen it. I have too...lots of times. But I stillthink it's funny. And it gives me a slight laugh every time I read it :) So, here it is for your amusement.1.) I'm so Goth, in preschool, the only crayon I used was black.2.) I'm so Goth I dyed my belly button black.3.) I'm so Goth my black is blacker than your black. I call it "black black."4.) I'm so Goth, I don't say "black," I say "blahhwwwkkk."5.) I'm so Goth, whenever I walk into a room, all the lights go out.6.) Goth...1: I'm so Goth the people in the grocery store have refused to sell me any cereal other thanCount Chocula.Goth...2: I'm so Goth people ask me to AUTOGRAPH boxes of Count Chocula.7.) I'm so Goth people touch me and they BECOME Goth. They say, "Oh no, now I'm Goth!"8.) I'm so Goth I wear sunglasses when I open the refrigerator.9.) I'm so Goth I don't paint my nails black--I bash them with a hammer.10.) I'm so Goth I died and didn't notice.11.) I'm so Goth; whenever I knock on somebody's door they give me candy.12.) I'm so Goth, I'm not only "Goth," but also "gothe" "goff" "gawth" "gauwth" "gothic" "gothik""gothique" and "gawfickk" and soon I hope to be "gauewthickueu."13.) I'm so Goth, when I stop pouting, people ask, "What are YOU so happy about?"14.) I'm so Goth, when I go outside, the sun sets.15.) Goth...1: I'm so Goth the smile muscles in my face have atrophied.Goth...2: I'm so Goth the smile muscles in my face never GREW.Goth...3: What's a smile?16.) I'm so Goth, when I was born; the doctor asked me, "What's with the shades?"17.) I'm so Goth I say things like "eternally yours in darkness" and "love and darkness" and "may theeternal darkness of the abyss enrapture and enshroud you in its infernal sickly sweet embrace."18.) I'm so Goth I don't use fabric softener, because I like pain.19.) I'm so Goth I set off airport metal detectors from ten feet away with all my jewelry.
 
20.) I'm so Goth I'm the only REAL Goth.21.) I'm so Goth I smoke cloves in the shower.22.) Goth...1: I'm so Goth a little rain cloud follows me wherever I go and rains on me.Goth...2: I'm so Goth I AM the rain cloud.23.) I'm so Goth I'm more Goth than anyone else.24.) Goth...1: I'm so Goth I got a tattoo of Celtic knot work starting at the top of my head, winding allthe way down my body, and trailing five feet behind me on the floor.Goth...2: I'm so Goth I AM a tattoo.Goth...3: I'm so Goth I pierced all my tattoos.25.) I'm so Goth it takes me an hour and a half to get dressed.26.) I'm so Goth it takes me longer to get Undressed.27.) I'm so Goth I'm dead.28.) I'm so Goth I think electrical tape is a fashion accessory.29.) I'm so Goth, in preschool, all my drawings were titled, "DEATH."30.) I'm so Goth, in high school, all my papers were titled, "DEATH."31.) I'm so Goth I slather on SPF 45 before I open the refrigerator.32.) I'm so Goth I wore corsets in preschool.33.) Goth...1: I'm so Goth I wonder if my dog's collar would look better on me.Goth...2: I'm so Goth I KNOW my dog's collar looks better on me.Goth...3: I'm so Goth I stole my dog's collar.34.) I'm so Goth, when I was born, I asked for a light for my clove.35.) I'm so Goth I ate a Happy Meal . . . because I like to live dangerous.36.) I'm so Goth little kids are mesmerized by my appearance.37.) I'm so Goth parents leg their kids when they see them mesmerized by my appearance.38.) I'm so Goth I've been banned.
 
39) I'm so Goth nobody understands me, especially when I say, "the boom boom like shockalocka!!! . . .flibbaflobba!!!"40.) I'm so Goth I don't take my medications, so I can be more Goth.41.) I'm so Goth, when I was born the doctor slapped me and I didn't cry.42.) I'm so Goth I make flowers wilt.43.) I'm so Goth I like them better that way.44.) I'm so Goth I punched a care bear.45.) I'm so Goth I think saying "oh my Goth" is cute.46.) I'm so Goth, when I smile people asks me what's wrong.47.) I'm so Goth little old ladies in walkers cross the street to insult me.48.) I'm so Goth I keep getting hit on by necrophiliacs!49.) I’m so Goth I rooted for Gargamel.50.) I'm so Goth I practice my blank stare in the mirror.51.) I'm so Goth that when I moved into Mr. Roger's neighborhood, he moved away!52.) I'm so Goth I have carpal tunnel syndrome from constantly putting the back of my hand to myforehead.53.) I'm so Goth that whenever I walk into a room, you hear "Toccata and fugue in D minor."54.) I'm so Goth I listen to The Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus simultaneously at midnight in a graveyardsitting in a pentagram surrounded by candles . . . and oh, there's a full moon . . . and then I die. And thenI come back to life. And then I die again . . . tragically.55.) I'm so Goth I have actually seriously uttered the phrase, "the darkest dark of the dark darkness."56.) I'm so Goth I tried to use Cheer . . . it cried.57.) Goth...1: I'm so Goth, when I'm sleeping people come and check my pulse.Goth...2: I'm so Goth I don't have a pulse.58.) I'm so Goth I know what PVC stands for.

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