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www.fhm,com.ph
APRIL 2008 FHM 9
 All of the good, none of the bad, every month

142 From the mouth of

babes
Asia's Sex LessonsThecountry's
premierSexGuruon whyshefeels
the thrillof polygamylp142
Her fantasies-probed!She'snot
thatnaivelikeyouthink!pl44
Roxanne She'ssearching for true
love.Let'sjoinher!p146
Ladies' Confessions Saucyswim
champsshowering: golden!p148

136

49 Gadgets gourmet
Two-timer!The new dual-sim
phonecontender-VerzioDuplii!p49
Buddy heat Soakup the sunand
staywired!p50 Y
Personal enhancementsTech o
o
z
goodiesto boostyourego!p52
Evervthinq that
-month... 54 Flashy plus points
tters this Cool fabrics Dukeout with the
J
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We showeryouwithallthe month's summerheat!p54 J
bewitching blessings,
featuring,.. FrancisMTheKingof Pinoyrapis
Rachel Marcial Taekwondo champ atopthe fashionchartsas well!p57 I
z
flashesherdeadlycurves!p18 Hair care Nurtureyourmanewith
The knowledge Little-known 6
our bagfulof treats!p58 151 Life-enhanced! t
I
discoveries-explained! p20
Alfred Vargas A pairof peepersis THUE
STOBIES Life insurance!Scam-freebitsto
masterbeforegettingone!pl51
C)

(/)
enoughfor thisESP mainstay! p30 Raffy David The Teleservboss on N
g.
uJ
PLUS! Gyratingwith the barelyfit enjoying thefruitsof labor!pl55 Ll-l
Superbonngg,cruisingwiththe Cricket ESPNairsits games,might Y
newCorollaAltis, playingthe 160 Anecdotesgalore as welllearnit! pl56
-
a
a)
Gran Turismo 5: Prologue and L R T p a s s e n g e rc o m m i t s a m o v i n g Die frying! Deep-fried sizzlerswill 6
rulingthe skywith RC helicopters! violationl killyou!We don'twantthat!p157 I
0_

'0
FHM APRIL 2008 www.fhm,com.ph
 For Him Magazine,SummitMedia,Level1, Robinsons Galleria, EDSA cor.
OrtigasAve.,OuezonCity 1 100
T e l e o h o n e6:3 1 7 7 3 8 / 6 3 1 8 9 7t1o 8 5 l o c ' 1 4 5
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e - m a i lf:h m @ s u m m i t m e d i a . c o m . pwhe' b s i t e :w w w . f h m . c o m . p h

What book did you correctly iudge by its cover?

EDITt]RIAI.
Editor'in-Chief Allan A. Madrilejos Watchmen
Managing Editor Allan P Hernandez Walking The BlackCat
Art Director Paul C. Villariba The Little Prince
. Associate Features Editor Alex C. Paita Kama Sutra
Fashion Editor Ana G. Kalaw Gossip Girl
Celebrity Coordinator Valerie A. De Guzman Our Daily Bread
ASSiStant Art Director Frantz Arno C. Salvador Bagong Alpabeto: Mga Unang Hakbang sa Pagbasa
Editoria| ssisllJ
f, " o* *
: Iny''!r'!
i: B* *3'32,3;:nl
webproduJ3?fi i"riiii#sesinEns|ish
"""R;$8l'if Tuesdays
Web Producers I AntonioT.Ongchap)r. WithMorrie
RonJayB. EduvaslbongACarna

Ct)NTRIBUTl|RS

G a n g e du p o n A g a M u h l a c hb e c a u s ew e T h e C h a d ( R o s a r i oa, t r i g h t ) o
, ur
w e r e n ' ta b l et o d o s o i n B a g e t s - e r a1 9 8 4 . new AssociatePublisher,debuts One Roman Suites, Marc Santos o{ Chinabank

For the record,two here were alreadyin on this self-servingnook.We're so

NETWORK
FHMIIITERNATItlNAL
high school then. Guessl happyto havehim buy us beer! International Director of Men's Magazines SimonGreveslnternational Editorial Director ChrisMooney
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Made good with our fatherly
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s o n ' s ( J u l i a nf)i r s tb i r t h d a y . . . h a r df o r h i s d r i n k ! Executive Assistant Rita Barbacena Martirez, Eric Mendoza

Key Accounts Assistants Chinggay Cabit, Onnie
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ofFHM babesworldwide, Creative Artists Jomar Fajardo, Aia Jimenez , Manlansing, Sermand Lacza, Rodel Revilla, Ferdie
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forourfor"Tulivs,Supot" Lorbes , Cz Marifro , Maan Pe , Mirelle Ouizon,

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FHM is printed in the Philipprnes by summit Media under l;cense {rom Bauer Consumer lrledia. All rights reserved
- 'fn"
Nothing maybereproduced
inthismagazine lhewrittenpermission
in whole0rpartwilhoul ofthepublishers.
We tla" mark FHM and iertain material contained herein are owned by Bauer Consumer Media'
accept
canngt responsibility andphotographs
manuscripts
forunsolicited 0rformaterial in themail.
loslor damaged

12 FHM APRIL 20OBwww.fhm,com,pl'

 E-MAl[:fhm@summitmedia.com.phSummit
Publishing 1 Robinsons
Co.,Level EDSA
Galleria, Ave,,
cor.Ortigas City
Quezon
also for consistentlychampioning
Pinoy pride. Batista, the YouTube
stars, the tattoo artists, Donaire,the
Pinoy jeepney are the stories that
are so second nature to you. Every
time I read you, I reallyfeel prouder
to be a Filipino.That's why you're
the undisputed Magazine King here.
Never become predictablel Keep the
Pinoy fire burning in us! These are
the reasons we, your fans, number in
the millionsW . e ' l l n e v e rt i r e s p e n d i n g
I found your March issue worth one anniversarywith you after
every peso! You guys gave your another! More oower!
8th anniversaryjustice. You not Abel,
byemail
only chose the best cover girls, you
also featured your best articles in Neat!
recent years, especiallythe Pinoy I'm an industrial
stars on YouTube,most of which I pollution
have already seen! You might want control and
to revise the keywords to the Pinoy occupational and some are autographed.Yep, I Belated happy anniversary!
grandmother (eating)crabs, though, health and also have your two issues numbered byemail
Emily,
b e c a u s e n o t h i n gw i l l t u r n u p i f y o u safety 42 (November and December
type those words, You're better off consultant. 2o03)! Daddydarling!
u s i n g " l o l ae a t i n gc r a b s " - - - Presently,I'm connected with Ranel
Reyes,
byemail VivaFHM! ljust
i n s t e a d ,I ' d a l s o l i k e, ,\' ' the manufacturingof solar cells wantto surprisemy
to add one to the r 'l want and panels, a source of renewal Hardworker! husbandJojit.He
list,Justtype in ,' to b" energy, in Southeast Asia. I'm also a My husband and I celebrated hasbeencollecting
t
"adobongmanok" Pinoy-l' stock trader in NYSE and a serious our secondwedding FHM since2001.
t.
andclickon the hobbyist in photography.How I anniversarylast January 10, I want himto know
firstvideoyousee. "---. wish someday to be given a chance Sadly, he wasn't with us to celebrate how soecialhe is to
'i"
The restI leaveall up to take photos for your cover. Do I it because he has been onboard me.Happysixthanniversary,Dad.I
to you! need to say that I'm one of your avid the M/V B Calipso for almost a year loveyou!
babyboy3l0, City
0uezon fans? | believe this picture speaks a now. He hasn't seen our three- byemail
Gegela,
thousand words. Most of your month-oldkid
Eight's not letter senders say they have EonaldZoei, Loving
enough! collected your magazine our second Labski!
Hurrayfor s i n c e2 0 0 2 . W e l l ,l w i l l kid.I'm pretty Mylabskijust
anotherfantastic not only say that, I wil surehe'llbe turned24last
issue!
anniversary
A s t u n n e ra s u s u a l . I
also show my collection suprisedto see month,She has FI
in high resolutionso you this,We really alwayswanted
thanks to another can check the date and appreciate to sendan email
delicious serving of the numbers.I startedcollecting your hardwork for our family,Di. to you but she's too busy carjng for
fresh and the new-Nifra sinceMay2OO2(#25).I have Lyron,Zoei, and I miss and love you o u r o n e - y e a r - o l dk i d . I h o p e y o u c a n
Jose and Hazel Ann not missedan issuesince.All so much! We are reallyexcited to make her birthday extraordinary!
Mendoza! Thanks are almost in perfect condition see you and to be with you again! byemail
Kenneth,
APRIT

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14 FHM APRIL 2008 www.fhm,com.oh

 aFHMLetters
ffimefforthe bmoksE
lwant to
c o n g r a t u l a t ey o u
for always giving
us your best.
Y o u ' r er e a l l yN o
1 . F H M r e a l l yj u s t
keeps on getttng
better and better.
I appreciate
a l ly o u rn e w
f e a t u r e s .I w a s w o n d e r i n g i f y o u
c o u l d f e a t u r eo n e o f m y p i c t u r e s Naturedcalled!
i n F H M t M y f r i e n dt o o k t h e s e p i c s "Thelighting
inside
thecomfofiroominoneofthebarsin()rligas
was "l attended lecture
a crash Tango
onArgentine atthePasinaya
Festival
when we were at scenic Pagudpud. pedectfora photoop,"Diannwrites,"Weweresoshockedtofindout inCCP Moiimparts,
recently," posed
"l even withMs.Edna lt
Ledesma.
b ye m ail
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French kissed! Alien!

"Wewitnessed
theNewYear's
countdownin Paris, withour
France "MybestbudandI wereposinga laMenin Black Studios,
inUniversal
"lt wasa great
Tats,
kababayanslhere,"
says moment!Thetwo Florida
Orlando, walked
whenthischicksuddenly "She
in,"Jodirelates.
foreigners,
though, resist
couldn't a pose
hitching withusl' lookhotbutsheruined
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the both of us to be miles apart, I

, Loaded! : We have been
i Mabuhay, FHMI together for two know that we can overcomeour
:
My sister-in-law years now and s a d n e s si n t i m e . I h o p e y o u w i l l
:
this pic shows post this entry so we can have a
; introducedme to i
y o r t m a g a z i n et n the gift I gavehim l a s t i n g r e m e m b r a n c ef r o m y o u r
I I
:, 2007. My collection : f o r o u r r e c e n ta n - m a g . M y c h i m c h i mp r o m i s e dt o
started with the : n i v e r s a r y .l t a l s o s e n d y o u r u p c o m i n g i s s u e st o
M i c h e l l eM a d r i g a l h i g h l i g h t sh i s me. Thanks, FHM.
i
issue.I'm alwaysupdated with : collection. byemail
Ediger,
everymonth's copy and very : This letteris my follow-upgift.
s a t i s f i e d I. w i l l c o n t i n u ew i s h i n g t h a t i T h a n k s ,F H M . L o v e y o u , G a h ! Summer
you include my letterand post my Alyza,
byemail valentine!
:
sexywife's photo soon. She's been i I always grab
i n t h e U K w o r k i n g a s a n u r s ef o r : Shades of ioy! i the latest
two years now. I miss you a lot and ; M y c h i m c h i ma n d I h a v e t o n s I FH M even
l o v e y o u l o a d s ,M y ! I ' m y e a r n i n gt o : o f s i m i l a r i t i e so,n e o f w h i c h i s i thoughthere
see you soon! c o l l e c t i n ga n d r e a d i n gF H M . M y i have been times na hindi pasok sa
i
0uennieb , y email
i familvand I have : budget ko ang pagbili. I just want to
m i g r a t e dt o a n o t h e ri g r e e t m y g i r l o f t h r e e y e a r s l r e n ea
Doubly sweet! c o u n t r ya n d s a d l y i b e l a t e d H a p p y V a l e n t i n e ' sD a y .I w i l l
I s e n t t h i s l e t t e rt o s u r o n s e I would be leaving i b e d a m n s o h a p p y i f y o u p u b l i s ht h i s
m y b o y f r i e n d ,w h o ' s o n e o f m y c h i m c h i mh e r e . : v e r y s i m p l e r e q u e s t .Y o u r o c k l
vour newest avid collectors. Thoughit's sad for i J o b e ,b y e m a i l

16 FHM APRIL 2008 www.fhm.com.ph

 )
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Five-footer RachelMarcial,small Tell us more about that

as she appears,is not one to "something" you do with each
be takenlightly,or worse,mess other.
aroundwith. Don't be fooledbY Well,it's not trainingnamanall
her importcar modellooksor get the timefor us. (laughs)We relax
e x c i t e db y h e rv o l u p t u o u3s4 D - and get to do somethingelse,
26-34figure.ThisbeautifulUS- Like..?
born and -bredPinayis a mean O n et i m ei n b e d . . .
knockoutmachine-justlikeher O k a y ,g o o n . . .
m a nI B F / l B OW o r l d F l y w e i g h t We were wrestlingand I got him
C h a m pN o n i t oD o n a i r eJ,r .T h i s in a rearnakedchoke.He couldn't
taekwondoblackbelthas a deadlY e s c a p eH . e c a n ' tw i n a g a i n s m
t e
s p i n n i n gb a c kk i c kw o r t h yo f a i n w r e s t l i n g(.l a u g h s )
h i g h l i g hrte e l ,f l o o r i n gh e rf o e sl i k e We thought you were going to
theyhaveno businessstandingin discuss something else.
the ringwith her. H ah ah a . , ,
With a goldmedalcollection At what age did you start Your
fromdifferenttournaments here, taekwondo training?
in the Statesand othercountries, I startedwhen I was eight,
evenMr.T would"pitythe fool" My dad put me in taekwondo
who doesn'trecognize Rachel's becausehe didn'tbelieveI was
toughnessin this Koreanmartialart. too girliefor it, He reallytook me
to classes-andI wantedto fight
Ever tried your skills against right on the first daypa lang.MY
Nonito? dad saw how eagerI was so he
(laughs)We shadowspar. t r a i n e dm e .W h e nl w a s 1 2 ,l w o n
Actually,we helpeachothertrain. my first nationals. I took hoinethe
I h e l ph i mw i t h h i s p l y o m e t r i c s golds in the stateand national
and footwork,whilehe holdsthe championships.
paddlesand bagsfor me. Ever used your skills to teach
No, really.Do you get reallY abusive guys a sleePerof a
u) physicalwhen during lover's lesson?
Lrl
z
quarrel? WhenI wasyounger,I wouldget
=
I No. But you know,I totallythink in a numberof fightsin school
U
it's the easierway,di ba? Kasiat becauseguyswouldtry to grab
O r|i leastif we'rethrowingpunches me.Guysusedto pickon me a lot
ez
and kicksat eachother,the becauseI was a veryearlybloomer,
;*H
{
'M< b r u i s e sw i l lh e a l .I ' d r a t h e fri g h t So therewereguyswho went
ilO
likethat.But honestly, we just snappingbras,thingslikethat.So I
2= taketimeto be aPart. alwaysdefendedmyself.lt was kind
iil Lr..l Do you think your Passionfor of sad becauseyou'dseethisguY
Z< fighting carries over to the witha bloodynoseanda scarabove
0_>
other things that you do? his eyesas I sat thereall PrettY.
;<
r=
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Everything is verypassionate,
that emotionis in everything we
all Evil!
I know.(laughs)And evenafter
tt ** d o - w h e t h e rw e ' r er u n n i n go, r school,becauseI spentfive
(, (, w e ' r et r a i n i n gl ,o u n g r n a ground, yearsin the militaryand learned
oz pressurepointcontroltactics,I'd
F-
-f
a n d w r e s t l i n go r s o m e t h t n g .
t_
LLo

1B FHM APRIL 2008 www.fhm,com.ph

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rody like yours, does it hurt
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boobs?
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: I concernedI was goingto
10
:et breastcancerbecause
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o f d a i l y l i f e n o t n o t i c i n gt h e g e n i u s b e h i n d t h e s e l i t t l et h i n g s .W e l l , w e a t
FHM geI paid to notice these things so you don't have to. Here are some

nwrryF
TBTToN
LrJrHrns
BOTTLES?
IN MEDIIINE
ely,they'renot thereto keeP
dry insidethosebottles.In fact,
it cor:Idactually get moistureinto the pills
if you don'tthrow it away afteropenin$
sealingit well, and storingit in a cool,dry
place.VVhatcottonin a medicinebottle
doesis to keepthe medsfrom shaking \i
and crackingas they'removedaroundin
the shippingprocess.

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20 FHM APRIL2008 www.fhm.com.ph

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Want to ruin everyone'skite-flying

r e v e r i et h i s s u m m e r ?T h e n j o i n
them in an open fieldon a Sunday
not lugging a gay kite, but with a
bad-ass miniaturehelicopter.

ffi
We have here the Maxum
remote-controlledchopper oy
RealHe[, a locallymade RC
helicopterthat can battle it out with
the more expensive,imported ones
in tricky aerobaticmaneuverslike
the Pirouette,Stallturn, Cuban B,
and Roll.What makes it realistic
for you to own this toy and enjoy
it is, it can run on readilyavailable
unleadedgasoline,which is
cheaper than alcohol-basedgas.
Of what other use could this
be to you apart from equipping
it with sharp rotor blades to snip
kites? Well, people have been
e q u i p p i n gt h e m w i t h c a m e r a s .T h e
result: Aerial photography and
v i d e o m i n u s t h e e x o r b i t a n tr e n t a l
fee of a real chopper.
A ready-to-flyMaxum
helicopter set will set you back
a l m o s t P 1 4 0 , 0 0 0 . K i t e s ,o f
course, are better as they don't
c o s t a s m u c h - i f y o u ' r ea m a n w h o
l i k e st o p l a y w i t h l i t t l eb o y s .

22 FH/|/|APRIL2OOBwww.fhm.com.ph
 In 1842, a certain!r. J Griffithput on displaythe FeeJeeMermald
F which hb ciaimedto be a genuinemermaid.it was later proven a

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t h e h e l li s J u a nC a b a n a W ? e're
n o a c q u a r n t a n c be us tw e d o
knowthatthe Florida,USA-based
a r t i s t eJ u a nl i k e st o s p e n dh i s
t i m e" w a n d e r i nagl o n gt h e l o n e l y
s h o r e so f s e c l u d e d beaches"
a n dg a t h e r i n fgi s hr e m a i n s
w a s h e da s h o r e" w i t ht h e h o p eo f
p r e s e r v i nagn d h o n o r i n tgh e m ,a n d
s h o w i n gh u m a n i ttyh a tw e a r e n o t z
t h e o n l yi n t e l l i g e ns tp e c i e so n t h i s =. . >
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a pulledhamstring,
privilegeto be acquainted with me regularly,but still has a rock solid abdominal crampsweretoo
knows, I'm the greatest beer guzzler body free from flab. muchfor meto bear.And one
this side of God's green Earth. "My secret is devoted cardio more thing, Ferdiehad
J
Itake pride in that.But, as worki' he told me when I happened this silly grin on his face
l

every beer drinker knows, downing to admire his physique, He had while he was helping O
a

cases and cases of brewskies every even developed quite a Set of me stretch, When I d
n i g h t t a k e s t o l l o n t h e b o d y .S o , pandesalabs through his patented confronted him about M
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against my will-mainly because "Hip-hop abs" exercise routine. I it-you could say I LIJ
I
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sweat pants-l took an initiativeto O n e m o r n i n g ,l j o i n e d h i m a n d giddy when his lips I
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do some exercises.I hooked uP his devoted lady students for a nearlytouched mine, lt t
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aerobics instructor,Ferdie.Ferdie is on their offer for a gym membership. likethat

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 People have been feverishly crumpling in the event of a crash.
waiting for this, and probably The front seats get an interesting
w o n d e r i n gw h y t h e h e l l i t w a s bunch of letters,WIL for Whiplash
taking so long. Last generation's InjuryLessening concept that they
A l t i s ,o n t h e r o a d s i n c e 2 0 0 1 , w a s promise will save your neck.
b e g i n n i n gt o l o o k t i r e d a n d j a d e d Finallythey throw in the
even the aftermarketmodders comforl package for good
seemed at a loss for anything more measure:automatic air
to add to it. lt didn't helpthat the conditioning,6-CD changer with
new Civic came out looking like a automatic sound levelizer,power
wicked space trooper; it was clear seats, a bevy of switches, and a
that inspirationwould be the next dizzying2 1-storage compadments
level in the sedan wars. strewn all over.
Just in time before the mob All these so you could sell your
got bored, out rolled the tenth- o l d A l t i s . U s s e c o n d h a n da u t o
generation Corolla Altis just last vultures,on the other hand, are
m o n t h a n d s u d d e n l yy o u c o u l d waiting.
sense a rush of libido invigorating
the Toyota headquarters.And from
the looks of it, it's going to creep
u o t h e l o i n s o f w o u l d - b eA l t i s
buyers this year.
T h e o n e o b v i o u st h i n g t h e n e w ENGlltlE:1 16Vl4l1BD0HC
6D0HC 16V14
morphing of the Altis has that the
T0R0UE:
109@6000/1
32/6000
old one turned out to have been
sorely lacking is character.lts TBANSMISSI0N
: 5-speed
ltrlT/4-speed
AT
front fascia carries on the rounded
sensualityof the Camry and Vios, : (Front)
SUSPEI'lSl0N Independent
not too tight-lipped but not gaping MacPherson
Strut;(rear)
Torsion
Beam
either.Overall it's also lower and
wider. Why are these superficial SAFETY:
Electronic
Brakeforce
Distribution
changes important? Think of it this
way: The first time you met the Altis
i n 2 0 0 1 , y o u m e m o r i z e dt h e f a c e ; a
year or so later you met him again
on the street and you could barely
make him out in the crowd. Though
a multitude of buyers is certainly
not Toyota'sfault, this time around
future owners of the new Altis will
not be ignored in the long stretch.
From there Toyota's sales
oitch for the Altis should be
relatively easy.
There is general agreement on
the efficiencyof the machine under
the hood and the interior build of
N
an Altis. Among the recognizable
Lr-l
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than the last. You have ECT-
z Super ElectronicallyControlled
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2 8 F H M A P R I L2 0 0 8 w w w f h m . c o m . p h
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sinceits introduction
in 1966
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generation's I
Altis.Whatit givesyou
is moreprideof ownershipthatcan

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unitwhenthenewonecomes along

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THE FACE
Thisis wherethenewAltis
thoroughlybreaks awaywiththe
old.Ihe detailsexude executive
sedan andnota queercompact.
Theswept-back lights,thewell-
madegillle,it's gotclass.

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ct You moonlight as an

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THE FAITS underwear model. Do You ever
llame: Vargas
Alfred get conscious about having
Actor
Profession: your photograPh taken while
I Age:26
Hometown:Sta.Maria you're half'naked?
Bulacan S o m e t i m e s ,Y e s , I s t i l l d o g e t
= Shower,
Bridal
Career: conscious.But it dePendswho

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ESP
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I ' m w i t h . F o r e x a m P l e l,w o n ' t
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p h o t o g r a p h e r .T h e r e a r e a s e l e c t

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few that I can Pose half-nakedfor.
Speaking of which, You were
revealing when You PlaYed
a macho dancer in Bridal
Shower, were People surPrised
to see you in that role?
Y e a h ,i t s h o c k e d e v e r y o n e '
w h i c h w a s g o o d a c t u a l l YT. h e Y
were shocked, but found mY
p e r f o r m a n c ei m P r e s s i v e T . heY
n e v e rt h o u g h t I c o u l d P u l l o f f
s o m e t h i n gl i k e t h a t ' J u s t t h e f a c t
that I playeda macho dancer,
nabigla sila.
How did you Prepare for that
role?
I had to do character studY. I
v i s i t e d g a y b a r s s e v e r a lt i m e s . J u s t
to study for the role'That's what I
enjoydoing when it comes to roles.
Let's back uP a bit. You went to
gay bars? How did You manage
that without being torn to
shreds by admirers?
I had to wear a caP and dress uP
differently, Mayroong effort for
p e o p l e n o t t o r e c o g n i z em e k a s i
baka makaagaw ng atensYon
doon. People might misinterPret
my presencethere' Ha ha!
You're in the Primetime sPook
show ESP-have You actuallY
seen a real ghost?
I h a v e n e v e rs e e n g h o s t s , b u t a s
w i t h m o s t o f u s , w e s o m e t i m e sf e e l
s o m e " s u p e r n a t u r a l "P r e s e n c e .
Say, you had a third eYe'
how would You use it?
I would not want to havea'
third eye!

30 FHM APRIL 2O0Bwww.fhm.com.Ph

P
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Y e a r s l ' A s t o u n d e da n d a l i t t l eh u r t ,
o
rt
Armed'robbery
T h e r eo n c e w a s a m a n w h o l o s t h i s
arms in a car accidentO . ne day he
w o n a m i l l i o n - d o l l al ro t t e r yA . fter a
m o m e n t o f t h o u g h t ,h e r u s h e dt o
t h e h o s p i t a la n d a s k e d t h e i r t o p
s u r g e o ni f h e c o u l d g e t h i s a r m s
b a c k f o r a m i l l i o nd o l l a r s ," W o w , "
t h e d o c t o r r e p l i e d ", l j u s t i n v e n t e d
a completelyvoice-activated
m e c h a n i c aal r m , b u t I c a n o n l y g i v e
y o u o n e l 'S o h e s h o w e d h i m s o m e
of the stuff the arm could do and
t h e m a n w a s a m a z e da n d b o u g h t
the arm.The next day he went to
t h e p u b w i t h h i s f r i e n d st o s h o w
off his new advancedarm. As they
s a t t o g e t h e rh e t o l d t h e a r m t o p i c k
u p h i s g l a s so f b e e r a n d g i v e h i m a
s i p .T h e a r m d i d i t p e r f e c t l ya n d t h e
friends were amazed.After a few
g l a s s e st h e m a n w e n t f o r a p i s s ,H e
t o l d t h e a r m t o t a k e h i s p e n i so u t
a n d a w a v h e p i s s e d .T h e n h e t e l l s
32 FHM APRIL2008 www.fhm.com.ph
t h e a r m t o " g i v ei t a l i t t l es h a k e l ' T h e
a r m d o e s a n d t h e m a n s e e m e dt o
over-enjoyit, and so he looks around
t o m a k e s u r e n o o n e i s l o o k i n ga n d
t e l l s t h e a r m t o g i v e i t a n o t h e rl i t t l e
s h a k e .H e g e t s a b o n e r a n d o n c e
a g a i nt u r n s a r o u n dt o m a k e s u r e
n o b o d y ' sw a t c h i n ga n d t h e n t e l l s t h e
a r m , ' U e r ki t o f f ! "T h e a r m p u l l so f f
h i s p e n i sa n d t h e m a n s c r e a m so u t ,
i n p a i n ," F u c k m e l " S o t h e a r m t h e n
s h o v e sh i s p e n i s u p h i s a s s .T h e m a n
even more shocked at ihis stage
s h o u t so u t , " H o l y s h i t ,w o u l d y o u l o o k
a t t h a t ! "T h e a r m p u l l sh i s p e n i so u t
o f h i s a s s a n d s h o v e si t r i g h t i n t o
one of his eyeballs,
GhristianSalaysay, by email
Bionicears
A y o u n g m a n h a d m o v e di n t o a n e w
aoartmentof his own and went to
the lobby.While there, an attractive
y o u n g l a d y c a m e o u t ,w e a r i n ga r o b e .
T h e b o y s m i l e da t t h e y o u n g w o m a n
w o u l dy o u s a y i s m y b e s t f e a t u r e ? "
F l u s t e r e da n d e m b a r r a s s e dh, e
f i n a l l ys q u e a k e d ", l t ' sg o t t o b e y o u r
s h e a s k e d ," M y e a r s ? !L o o k a t t h e s e
b r e a s t s - t h e ya r e f u l l a n d 1 0 0 -
percent naturallI work out every dar
a n d m y b u t t i s f i r m a n d s o l i d ,L o o k
a t m y s k i n - n o b l e m i s h e sa n y w h e r e .
How can you think thatthe best pan
o f m y b o d y i s m y e a r s ? "C l e a r i n g
h i s t h r o a t ,h e s t a m m e r e d", O u t s i d e ,
w h e n y o u s a i d y o u h e a r ds o m e o n e
' c o m i n g lt h a t w a s m e l '
AceDiamondVargas,by email
Blonde on blonde
A b l o n d eo , u t o f m o n e ya n d d o w n o n
her luck afier buying"air"at a bargain,
needed money desperately. To raise
c a s h ,s h e d e c i d e dt o k i d n a pa c h i l d
and hold him for ransom,She went to
the local playground,grabbeda kid
r a n d o m l yt ,o o k h e r b e h i n da b u i l d i n g ,
and told her,"l'vekidnappedyou!"
She then wrote a big note saying,
"l'vekidnappedyour kid,Tomorrow
m o r n i n g p, u t $ 10 , 0 0 0 i n a p a p e rb a g
and leaveit under the apple tree next
t o t h e s l i d e so n t h e s o u t hs i d e o f t h e
p l a y g r o u n dS. i g n e d A, blondel'The
b l o n d et h e n p i n n e dt h e n o t e t o t h e
k i d ' ss h i r ta n d s e n t h i m h o m e t o s h o w
it to his parents,The next morningthe
Eleualor b l o n d ec h e c k e d a , n d s u r ee n o u g h ,
Aguyanda girlgetonanelettator a paper bag was sitting beneaththe
inahospital,Iheguyhits three a p p l et r e e .T h e b l o n d el o o k e dr n t h e
and asks "Which
thegirl, floor?" bag and found the $ 10,000 with a
Io whichshereplies,"Fottr,
please," note that said,"How could you do this
t o a f e l l o wb l o n d e ? | "
Making thegirlsays,
conversation, hy email
lsraelFontanilla,
"l'mhere togive blood,Whatare
youhere for?"Theguysays, "l'm A horse with a name
actuallyheretodonate They
sperm, Oslec and his two friends are talking
gitre
meP4,000 forit,""That's at a bar.His first friends says:"l think
I onlygetP500
unfairl forgiving my wife is havingan aIIairwith the
electrician.The other day I came
plasma!" shesays,Iheygetoffthe
home and found wire cutters under
elevatorsoniheirrespective
floors. o u r b e d - a n d t h e y w e r e n ' tm i n e l 'H i s
Thenextweek, thesame guygets s e c o n df r i e n ds a y s :" l t h i n k m y w i f e i s
ontheelevator todonate snerm havingan affair with the plumber.The
once more, Loandbehold, thegirl o t h e r d a y I f o u n d a w r e n c hu n d e rt h e
isthere again. b e d a n d i t w a s n ' tm i n e l ' O s l e cs a y s :" l
hemetlast week
"Nice ihink my wife is havingan affair with
toseeyouagain, So,which
"Mmmmphl" a horsel'Both his friends look at him
miss?"
floor, shesays utter disbelief."No, l'm serious.The
holdingrlpthreefingers, other day I came home and found a
KiboyEduave
ll, byemail Jockey under our bedi'
DeckRatings,by email
and she started a conversationwith
h i m .A s t h e y t a l k e d ,h e r r o b e s l i p p e d
o p e n ,a n d i t w a s o b v i o u st h a t s h e
h a d n o t h i n ge l s e o n . T h e p o o r k i d
broke into a sweat trying to maintain
eye contact.After a few minutes,she
p l a c e dh e r h a n d o n h i s a r m a n d s a i d ,
" L e t ' sg o t o m y a p a r t m e n t . . .I h e a r
s o m e o n ec o m i n g l 'H e f o l l o w e dh e r
i n t o h e r a p a r t m e n t s: h e c l o s e dt h e
d o o r a n d l e a n e da g a i n s ti t , a l l o w i n g
h e r r o b e t o f a l l o f f c o m p l e t e l yN. o w
n u d e ,s h e p u r r e da t h i m ," W h a t
 3Ir

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Eranluisno became a populal

brandin carncingsimulation
because ol its realistic
feel.

#lhere: PS3 a F e r r a r i( u n l e s sy o u e a r n m i l l i o n s each turn you make is your own,

*fltrat it's about: Next-gen
' : - : f e g a m e r sa r e a b o u t t o
;:' = :aste of what's lauded to
- - e m o s t r e a l i s t i cc a r r a c i n g
::
l ; - e a r o u n d .A n d w h e n w e s a y
i : - : : e ,w e m e a n l i t e r a l l ya t a s t e
; - : r o t t h e w h o l e d i s h , N o t i c et h e
' :': ogue" attachedto the
title?
- : - t b e d i s c o u r a g e dt ,h o u g h ,
--
s n i b b l ew i l l f i l l y o u r h u n g e rf o r
: , = -T d - t h e - w h e eal d r e n a l i n et h a t
' : a r c a d e - l i k er a c i n g t i t l e c a n g i v e
${hat's good about it: This is
.- :lose as you can get to driving
by the month). A Gran Turismo
t i t l e a l r e a d yg i v e s y o u e x c e l l e n tc a r
p h y s i c s ,b u t d i g t h i s : T h e l a t e s t
i n s t a l l m e n ts p o r t s t h e n e w i n - c o c k -
pit view complete with accurate
d a s h b o a r d d i s p l a y so f e a c h c a r ,
i n c l u d i n g r e a r v i e wm i r r o r a n d s i d e
m i r r o r s .T h e A l i s a l o t t o u g h e r ,t o o .
Openings won't come easy during
the race.That's not bad at all,as
i t t e s t s y o u r r a c i n g i n s t i n c t sa n d
see if you got the cojones to take
riskycuts just to grab the lead. lt
also comes with hands holdingthe
w h e e l , t o o , s o y o u r e a l l yf e e l l i k e
A n d t h e h i t c h w i t h t h e p r e v i o u sG f
t i t l e s - t h e l i c e n s e q u a l i f i c a t i o nf o r
each event-is gone.The beauty
o f t h i s i s o b v i o u s ,L o n g h o u r s
s p e n t q u a l i f y i n gf o r r a c e s a r e n o w
s h e l v e d .Y o u g e t t o b u r n r u b b e r
right away.
What's bad about it: lt only
c o m e s w i t h l i m i t e dr a c e t r a c k s .
I t ' s a p r o l o g u e ,y e s ? N o t t o o m u c h
s i g h t - s e e i n gh e r e s o y o u m i g h t
master the tracks after a couple
o f t r i e s .T h e c a r r o s t e r i s n o t t h a t
e x t e n s i v ee i t h e r .T h e c a r s s t i l l d o n ' t
g e t d a m a g e d ,a n d s t i l l f e e l sa b i t

www.fhm.com.phAPRIL 2008 FHM 35

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askingfor too much if you want BULLY: SCHOLARSHIP
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*****

N1EASHED MLB2I{8
AtLPLATFORMS
Play
graphics
0fthekiddie andbring
already
Enough
forthefenc'es
thisonWiiandsr,ving
outthe
inner Bonds
Barry iny0uwith0uttheroids
*****
Where: All platforms
ThislatestStarWarstitleis
guaranteedto be the most realistic
out of the many installments,thanks
to its three new physics systems-
H a v o k ,E u p h o r i a ,a n d D i g i t a l
M o l e c u l a rM a t t e r ( D M M ) . W i t h
D M M , m a t e r i a l si n t h e g a m e r e a c t
l i k e t h e v w o u l d i n t h e r e a lw o r l d -
glass breaks and metal dents THECLUB
realistically.With Euphoria,Al PC,X360,PS3
reacts on survivalmode (read: Hereyoufightasamodern-day mercenary-slash-
they react like how you would gladiator The
inside ltsanunderground
Club.
if a crate is thrown at you). where
blood-sport earn
killers
ruthless and
respect
What adds to the fun rs indeath
infamy mahhesPretty muchlikeFight
Club
the plot-you play Darth withguns ofammo
andloads *tF)F**
Vader's apprentice,tasked to
e r a d i c a t ea l l J e d i .* * * * *

36 FHM APRIL 2008 www.fhm.com.Ph

 ::#il'ffi 3f,i#trd j'"";#,f ig#T#"iil'd''$ls"
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Harismaybe
lleil Patdck
seenin thefhstinning
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hooker's butin
deniere,
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regions
nether
becauseofhis

ttr,
I
sexual pleference.

Who? John Gho (high), Kal HAROlD

AND KUMR
Penn (stoned),Neil Patrick
Harris (spacedout)
What's it about? ln 2OO4,stoner
Iilm Harold and Kumar Go to White
Castle became an unexpected hit.

FROIN ANT
ESCAPE
raking in more than $23 millionat
the box office.We're highlightingthe
word "unexpected"because it had
the makingsof an obscure straight-
to-DVD production: Almost-unknown
Asian actors (John Cho and Kal
Penn) as lead actors, a then D-Lister
for a cameo appearance (Neil Patrick
Harris),stupid set pieces, not to
mentionthe slightlyretarded punch
lines.Now, still banking on its low-
brow charm,the movie is back for
anotherfranchise,This time, the duo
takes their bongs to Amsterdam,
the land of milk and chongkr.Thing
is, they never reallymake it all the
way there. Both are suspected of
terrorism,so they're stuck in drug-
free Guantanamo Bay detention
camp. Although they eventually
manage to escape from the brig, they
still go through weird encounters,
some involvinga mutAtedman, Neil
PatrickHarris (again,as himself),a 2l SHUTTER WHATHAPPENS
KKK parade (not the Bonifacio kind), Who?KevinSpacey(mafh Who? loshua Jackson(posl- IN VEGAS
and half-nakedbabes. freak), Kale Bosworth(brainy1, Pacey), Raciael Taylor (screane) Who?GameronEiaz(perky),
What's good about it? lt's laurenceFishburne (nenacing), What's it about?Another Asian AshtonKutcher(perkie)
brainlesscomedy, and it doesn't JimSturgess(shy) horrorfilmrenlake.thisedge-oi-your-seat What'sit about?Two strangers
pretend to be something else. What'sit about?Ateam ofmath isabout
thriller a newly c0Llple
married endtlpgettingmarried
after of
anlght
Watch it, then pass around the tterds/cardjocksdiscovers
howtoturn who finds disturbingghostly in
visrons intoxicated inSinCityExpect
debauchery
good word as if it's a joint. odds inthegame ofblackjack.
Itseither photographs thatthey Haunted
develop done
thateverything hasalot
hurriedly
What's bad about it? lf after afilmglorifying
blackjack
manipulation Taylors characterdecides
toinvestigate ofconsequencesSoJust likemost
films
watching this you feel cheated into through math orafilmdebasing What those hadtodowith
sightings Cameron
starring Diaz 0rAshtonKutcher
patronizinga politicallyincorrect, complicated maththrough
blackjack images ofJackson hisDawson's
during expectalotofphysicalcomedyastheir
brainlesscomedy, then you must matliptllati0n
Either
wayit makesy0tlpick Creek days wearing
asotlersized-p0lo-shirt trytogettoeach
characters nerves o
other's
have lined up for the wrong movie. upacalculator andadeck ofcardsatthe Pacey ptlblic
it'supt0them0llie-g0ing while theirbrand
sporting married
nelrv F

Mr&MrsMc0oo l
(-)
The verdict: lf you don't think same time todiscover name:
b u n g l i n ge t h n i c i m m i g r a n ts t o n e r s Usefuf /uselessbit: After Beyond Uselul/uselessbit: Inthefilm s Useful/useless bit: Thegorgeous uJ
I
v
are funny,then watch reruns of the theSea andSupernanReturns,
thisisthe originalThaiversion, claimed
directors that CameronDiaz publicly thatshe
admitted a

blonde and the beautifulBrady thirdfilmKevinSpaceyandKate Bostworth therewere realghosts themn

haunting has0CD and isdeeplygermophobic oE.
Bunch instead.***** \,Vorkedtogether
***** s0me scenes {c**** ***** =

38 FHM APRIL2008 www.fhm.com.ph

0
o I Disc.sd4l,

o Who: Phillip Seymour Hoffman (sne;..

o KII] HOCK
f,ontraryto rumors,Phillip
Serrmour Hoflmanis not a
hastardchildol actorDustin
Ethan Hawke (hopeless)
What's it about: BrothersAndyand Ha^.
(Hoffmanand Hawke)finda solutionto get
themselvesoff theirmonetary woes-by rocc - :
Hoffman. theirparents'jewelrystore.Theseemingly
perfectcrimegoesdisastrously wrong,and =
IIJ I s e r i e s o f t r a g e d i e s b e f a l lt h e i r d y s f u n c t i o n a

tt
I familyin the process.Andy's wife finds herse'
i n a n a f f a i rw i t h H a n k , a n d t h e f a m i l yp a t r i a r c r
w o n ' t r e s t u n t i l h e f i n d s t h e p e r p e t r a t o r s ,n o t
knowing that the culpritsare much closer to
homethan he imagined.
E x t r a s : A t h r i l l e rw i t h D o l b y - e n h a n c e ds o u n c
a n d w i d e s c r e e n f e a t u r e sd e s e r v e s a n i g h t w r t r =
l a r g e p i z z aa n d a p a c k o f b e e r a l l t o y o u r s e l f .
Verdict: When
e v e r y o n ei n t h e
cast, director
included,
is eitheran
Oscar winner
or at the least,
havebeen a
n o m i n e e ,e x p e c t
a masterpiece
to unfold,

THE FILM

Notbadforanactor who's him

It'ssohardwatching Daniel isofficially
Radcliffe Howcomenosnowin this
nowknown asthatfamous playa realperson-without therichest
teeninBritain, movieandlookveryhot
boywizard. Sentimental
in therobeandtheglasses. amassing $50M worth of Thisnotin
in 0ecemher?
some parts,yetclichd
in castle
0r a bigschool for fortheHarryPofter
fortune verymanywhite
Africa,
others.
lt'stheordealofevery thatmatter. franchise
alone. people!
puberty-hitting
boy:0gling
overnaked girls, your
losing
youknowthedrill.
virginity,

I could've
watched my AllI
Youcallthata movie? In a scenewhere Agent 47 Hitmen
inAmericawearvery
aska,dogscareawaymy remember isgunsgoingoff they
landsin a kid'stoom, Hetman
niceamerikana. here
richkapithahay'spoodle nonstop-and thatRussian areshown playingthe wearsandoandshorts.
And
shitless,
andthatwould've model'sneverending
legs. PlayStation ol
2 version nowashforweeks,
beenmoreexciting than Hitman:BloodMoney.
thistwo-hourwaste.

Thismoviehadmeatsautded Seconds, please!lf Zeta-Jonesworked asa Theysaybestwayto

andgarlic,
butter With moviedidn'tmake foodserverin a NewYork man'sheartis through
delicious
visualspeppered all lor somegoodol'
crave aspartofher
restaurant stomach,Verytrue.Inday
throughout
theflick,another alacarte,I don'tknow forherchefrole,
training mygelprendalways serve
thing
thattastessweet isthe whatwill! and
myfavorite-sisig
undeniable
chemical romance balutwithverymanybeer.
betweenZeta-Jones and
Eckhart

Withthreeattempts at fordays?
Nosleeping 0uch! Inthemiddle oflilmingfor Youknowwhalwork? Purong
remakingthismovie(one if shehastimeto nut
Wonder Thelnvasion DanielCtaig kapebarakofromBatangas.
in 1956andanother in tokeep
onconcealer those gotthecallthathewasto Come you
withfreeeyebags,
youknowoneof
1978), dark incheck,..
circles playJames Bondin Easino awaketwodays straight,
themis bound to screw Thecrewhadto
floyale.
up.Hands down, thisone stopfilmingfora whileas
perfectly
did. Craigflewto London fot a
pressconference fotthe
Bond movie,

-ll FHM APRIL 2008 www.fhm.com.ph

 BuddyHolly,alonqwith fellowmusicians HichieValensandtheBigBopper, was

-a
O killedin a iiane ciashin, 1959.Apparently,
theytookthe flightbecausiHoliy
wantedto geta goodnight'ssleepbeforetheirnextgig

l
a
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tr,
SANDWICH
< S > MarkstheSpot[EMlPhilippines)
s allabout
This having
funNone oftheemo shiznit,
angstytude0revensilly
camprness,
Lead single

HEffiCA
putstheli$ener
Procrastinator inthelaidbackandfun
frameofmindTherearen'tasmatly
em0-esque m0mettts
hereasyouw0rlld
expect Songsarelighthardly
calling
buttheymanage
attention themselves
toimprint in
mem0ry anywaySomuch forseriousness, just
let's
dance0rhang out0rgoof off.
*****

What are you expecting from l i k e ," O h , w h o d o y o u h a v e i n m i n d

the Philippines? to sing the part?" And we're like,
T o b e h o n e s t ,w e d o n ' t r e a l l y " L i z aM i n e l l i ! "A n d h e a s k e d ," L i z a ANGULO
know. Right now, we're getting to M i n e l l io r s o m e o n el i k e h e r ? " A n d Blurthe Whitelines fPop-no-complyf
olaces we've neverbeen to and we're like, "Liza." He made a phone Rightnow, bands need toplaygood,
new music That
i t ' s s o m e t h i n gw e ' r e r e a l l yg o i n g t o calland she,uh,I guessshe was said,Angulo, oneofthemore visible
bandsinthegig
r e m e m b e rw h e n w e g e t o l d e r . A s a fan of the band or became a fan YestheyplaygoodAndthere
clrcuitfailsthelatter. area
a whole, we're just glad to be here, after that and it just worked out. coupleof almostthere songsButtherecordwithallthe
and we're very excited to play. S h e ' s j u s t a m a z i n g .T h a t ' s c o o l . distortedpounding drums andweepyvocals,
doesnt hold
W e ' d l i k e t o t h a n k e v e r y b o d yw h o That's an interesting person thelisteners lts good
attention. thatAnguloisabletoget
came here today to want to work with. Who else overtheirmusician wants anddreamsearlyonCantwait
How was it like opening for would you like to collaborate tosee them grow ontheirsucceeding
records **:lt{c*
bands like Muse and playing in the future?
with Bon Jovi? T h e r e ' sa m i l l i o np e o p l e o u t t h e r e
I t ' s r e a l l yr e f r e s h i n gt o g e t o n t o u r that we want to work with in our
l i k e W a r p . Y o u r e a l i z et h e y ' r ea l o t c a r e e r d o w n t h e l i n e .N u m b e r o n e
[ o f m u s i c i a n s ]l i k e y o u a n d t h e y ' r e is Tom Waits, but who knows? lt
v e r y l o w - k e ya n d t h e y j u s t l i k e t h e depends on what the song calls
music.We also meet bands like f o r . H o p e f u l l y ,d o w n t h e l i n e ,t h e
that than bands who are in it for the o p p o r t u n i t yw i l l j u s t p r e s e n t i t s e l f .
wrong reasons. We've met a lot of You appeared in a Sopranos
c o o l p e o p l e w h o a r e r e a l l yj u s t l i k e commercial. ln which other
us. We get along with everybody. media would you like your
I t ' s a m a z i n gt o m e e t b a n d s w i t h t h e music or band to be JACI{SON
MICHAEL
s a m e p e r s p e c t i v e .T h a t ' s c o o l . a part of? Thriller25thAnnivercary EditionfSonyBMG]
Liza Minelli appears on The We really enjoyed I Forthesilvery ofThrrller,
anniltersary recordexecs
Black Parade. Gan you tell us Guitar Hero. releasedaspecial
edApart fromtheentire 1982record
how that came about? That was really serlen
it includes b0nLlstracksand a DVD ofMichael's
We wrote a song called "Mama" awesome. 'Wanna
shortsThe opening
track BeStartin'Somethin
a n d t h e r e ' st h a t s e c t i o n t h a t s h e How would isatadtoolong foranopening lt comes back in
later
sang. Gerard was talkingabout you like to therecordwithAkon which isvery Akon-esqueWill
h o w h e w a n t e d a f e m a l et o s i n g i t . meet your 'Ihe gives
I Am'smixof Girl
isl/ltne' avery Carribean
He kept tryingto do it in a falsetto death? cruisevibeAnunreleasedtrack ForAllTimeby[/ichael
v o i c e b u t i t w a s n ' t w o r k i n g .T h e n With a tub of Jackson like
feels aspecialbecause its unreleased
we talkedto Rob and Rob was mayonnarse. *****

- FHM APRIL 2O0Bwww,fhm.com.ph

Itoderatelr
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ttr, MAGIC
OF
THECOTOUR
TerryPratchett
(HarperPaperbacks)
DUNGEONS
& DRAGONS:
PLAYER'S
HANDBOOI{
Fromthe authorwith Jonathan Tweet,Monte
the mostnumberof Cook,andSkipWilliams
shooliftedbooksin (Wizards of the Coast)
Britain,TheColourof Before console and
Magicis the first of o n l i n eR P G s b e c a m e
nearly40 novelsset in the norm, geeks used
the Discworld universe to secretlygather in
dividedintosections. s m a l lg r o u p s a n d r o l l
Througha parodyof f u n n y - s h a p e dd i c e o n
fantasystereotypes, a table stacked with
thisbookandits r u l e b o o k sF . orthe
subsequent follow- u n f a m i l i a rD, & D i s l i k e
upsare brilliantlytold, a board game, more
alwayshilarious, and complex,and has rules
with imagerythat pops for every conceivable
out of the pages.This s c e n a r i o r, e q u i r i n go n l y
storywascontinued a commodity rarely
in the novel,TheLight encounteredthese
Fantastic. d a y s :i m a g i n a t i o n .

THELOEUS THEGOTDEN A WIZARDOF THEHOBBIT

AWARDS: THIRTY COMPASS
YEARSOFTHE PhilipPullman
BESTIN SCIENCE (Knopf)
AND
FICTION For those who haven't
FANTASY watched its first
Editors: Chades Jtl.Bruwn
andJonathan Strahan
(Eos)
This anthology'sas
good a place to starl
as any if you've no
notion of what good
storytellingis. Locus
Awards introducesthe
b e s t n a m e si n s c i - f i
and fantasy genres,
p r e s e n t i n gt h e i r
acclaimedstories,most
of which have also won
c o m m e n d a t i o n sf r o m
other awards-giving
bodies.
EARTHSEA Tolkein r
J.R.R.
UrsulaK. [e Guin (HoughtonMifflin)
(Pocket) A precursor to Tolkien's
M a g i ce x p l a i n e d second, longernovel,
and made possible thisis alsosaidto be
chapters on screen,it through Taoist PeterJackson'snext
h a s w i t c h e s ,d a e m o n s principlespervadein movieproject(andin
(shape-changing the archipelagicworld two parts,too!).This
a n i m a lc o m p a n i o n s of this novel,first Lordof the Rings
ala Pok6mon),soaring p u b l i s h e di n 1 9 6 8 . prequelfollowsthe
zeppelins,and armored A most-talentedbut questof BilboBaggins
bears.What more can arrogantyoung man as he winshisshareof
you ask for? Killing named Ged seeks treasures guardedby
God comes later in schoolingin the arts the dragons, Thismay
the trilogy,which is o f m a g i c ,b u t h i s havebeenwrittenfor
s o m e t h i n gt o l o o k brashnessleads to a kids,but it doeshave
forward to, as well horrificconsequence, a ginormous five-way
as the final battle a n d h i s l o n gj o u r n e y battlebetweengoblins,
between heaven and for redemption elves,dwarves, men
h e l l ,A n d t h e s e a r e puts Harry Potter's andgianteagles. But
soldas children's emotionalangst to obviously, it hasa
books? sname. dragonto bootl

44 FHNI APRIL2008 www.fhm.com.ph

 Stuart Townsend was consideredio play
fuagorn lnthe Lord of the Eingstllagy.

-
fr,ttPi,P,il,iP /T/////////,//,/,//,//,/,

IJJ
tr,

AXN BEYOND
WEDNESDAYS 10 P.M.,
Who? Stuart Townsend (lanky),
Gabrielle Union (bouncy)
lllfhat's it about? What do you do
if your wife is brutallymurdered,the
police think you did it, and everything
else seems to point towards the
supernatural?You either kill yourself,
or make do with what your day job
has io offer.lf you're an MMDA
officer,you stop everysuspicious
lookingvehicleand ask the driverto
sing the nationalanthem.lf you're
an investigativereporter-likethis
show's lead character Carl Kolchak
(Townsend)-you get to the bottom
of things using your press lD as an
excuse to be nosy. And it would
reallyhelp if you have a hot lady MAEICASIA
crime reporter (Union)help you look AXN, M0l'IDAYS I P.M. ABS-CBN 2,PRIMEIIME BIDA
Who? Chris Korn (mystic), Who? Angel Locsin (lwely), Pialo HBt|, APBIL 22,TUESDAY g P.M.
into that story.
What's good about it? JBBenn (cunning) Pascual (lured) Who?AlGore (green'ninded)
lt's Supernatural buI more gory, What's it about?Chris and
Korn What'sit about?lf.like Lyka What'sit about?This on
focuses
more serious,and without two JBBenn bringtheirbrand ofstreetmagic (Locsin) allwerewolves hadkiller curves AlGores global
callfor warming public
h i m b o sd o i n g b a l l e t - r e m i n i s c e n t toIndia,
a landwhere believing
inmystic sensual charm anda sllperwonan air awareness Asmost docus go,thisone'sa
fight scenes. 0ccurrencesarecomm0n0lace sohow then men wouldgladly bitethesilver toughsellButwhats alittleinconvenience
What's bad about it? dotheseillusionists
amaze magic-jaded bullet riskgetting bittenandpossibly if thatmeans theearthright?
saving Sure
A g a i n ,n o h i m b o s d o i n g b a l l e t - Theyg0salsadancing
locals? Bollywood- even c0ntract rabies intheprocess Lykas analternativeshowingGore skating
figure
reminiscentfight scenes to keep stylejoinsnakecharmers instreet maitt squeeze Noah (Pascual) tscaught looks todigest.
funnier Skip thethoughtfor
you laughing. festivals
andattend Indianweddings. between exactingtlengeance am0ng thB environment'ssake
Fastfacts: Street magician David /obo species andogling a vixen ',iho
may Fastfacts: Inthedocumentary, Al
The verdict: lt's a decent show,
e s p e c i a l l yi f y o u t h i n k o u r l o c a l BlainedatedhottieslikeFionaApple stillhaven'thadheryearlv veisflls Gore showsaclipfroma Futuramaepisode
Madonna, JosieMaranLonneke Engel
and Fastfacts: Lykas name s ias::ln the dubbed "Crimes
oftheHot"which isabout
m e d i ad o e s n ' t c o v e r e n o u g h 'lycanthrope."
supernatural.Whatever happened DarylHannah,Proof got
thatillusionists t,vord mean : -,-a- :eiig
^, how todealwithglobal
warming. Gore was
-.: . ,,':' auuest star
init
to the manananggalsin La Loma? morethan magic tlptheirsleeves withthepower totrans'o'r-

4 6 F H M A P R I L2 0 0 8 w w w . f h m . c o m . p h

WOHLD
EXILUSIVE
Pinoy mobile maniacs beproud! The
Philippines is thelirsthomeof the
VenioDupliiworldwide. lt wasfirst
announced herein late2002withother
Asiannations followingsuitlaterthis
year.llur loveforthehumble SMSmade
usa pioneer in themobile phone world.
Verzio Duplii
The first sign of your work taking
overyour lifeis when you put your
p e r s o n a lm o b i l e n u m b e r o n y o u r
c a l l i n gc a r d . O n e m i n u t e i t ' s y o u r
work boss calling,the next it's the
missus (a.k.a.THE boss) beating on
your eardrums. Fret not, poor soul,
upstart mobile phone manufacturer
Verzio has the solution with the
Duplii-a dual SIM phonethat lets
you use two separate lines in one
phone,
It's by no means the first phone
that could do such a feat, but it's
PC sync-able and its user inter{ace
rivalsthose of Samsung's and Sony
E r i c s s o n ' s .O h , a n d d i d w e m e n t i o n
it's 3G capable? Yep, now your
work boss and your life boss (aka
the missus) can verifyyour location
via video call.
Price: P14,990

s
www.verzioworld.com

2 008) www.fhm.com.ph
APRIL2008 FHM 49
 Bluetooth was named alter a Danish king, Harald Bluetooth.
l{ing Bluetooth was known for his unification of warring tribes'

a04/OBGadgets

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=

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v
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F

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 04/08
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56 FHM APRIL2008 www.fhm.com.oh

 04/OB Francis Magalona I
n
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"Fashion really goes great wath

l-
m
m u s i c T h i s i s t h e n a t u r a l w a yt o
go kasi it's (fashion)an extension
T?ANEIs'PERSOITAI.
of the art form. Even in the States,
FAUORTIES that's what they do-P. Diddy has
he'sproudof
Pinoys his clothing line and so does Jay-Z.
{ Tito, Vic The name of the brand, Three Stars
I and Joey and a Sun, came from my song
"l likethe fact "Maynila,"which I wrote in 19901'
thatthey're
streetsmart "Our brand is not hip.hop but
but can also more of urban patriotism. We
do it the don't cater to a certain group
intelligent because our passion covers all
wayl' Filipinos.We want to take being
p r o u d o f b e i n g a F i l i p i n ot o a n o t h e r
tD ol phy level-it's not just wearing a
L.r"Heistheembodiment
of barong-and we want to take it to
longevity in the show the streetsl'

"Everything starts with a dream.

Yu Dreams are tangible realitiesthat
theownerof X-Print are waiting to happen so you can
' and he's the guy who illustrated
.,,',. grasp it and you can touch it. This
superheroes like Batman and was one of my dreams and I made
Wolverine. He started with it happen-with my creative guy and
Whilce Portacio,another great my other business partners,
Filinina talaplJt
of coursei'

"l advertise my product by

just wearing it on TV, plus the
logo is tattooed on my back.
Ang damit namin parang droga
na. Pupunta yung tao roon tapos
pagka-bayad alis na-as opposed
to what happens in other clothing
stores na susukatin pa. Alam na ng
supporters namin ang size nila."

"This clothing line is one way of

achieving my goal to Filipinize
the world.,4ng Pilipinaskasr,
known tayo for negativethings,
pero they forget na lahat ng bansa
may ganun din.fhe Filipinosin my
mind are the citizens of the whole
] world. Sino ang caregiversand
nurses? We are the healers of the
worldl'
z
"Michael Jordan is the
2 embodiment of excellence.
I collect all his stuff and I'm a
C
z t r u e b l u e C h i c a g o B u l l sf a n .
Even with the clothing line, we
c.
u pegged it sa Jordan ng Nike. I did
a
3 a comprehensivestudy on Nike,
we read the books and put up
o u r c l o t h i n gl i n e .A r n o n g t h e l o c a l
),) brands, we are the first ones to
have washing instructionsand to
,1
have a neck taoel'

"We make it a point to put

! interesting details into our
) clothing line like bits of poetry.
c
o We also made the orice a bit
)
U
e x p e n s i v e - P 1 , 2 0 0f o r t h e s h i r t s -
U
z people can afford P3,000 for some
(/) brands fapos Pinoy-madesobrang
A m u r a ? T h a t ' ss t u p i d ! "
^
3

www.fhm.com.ph
APRIL2008 FHM 57
CD
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58 FHM APRIL 2O0B www.fhm.com.Ph

Quote Unquote Aga Muhlach
Do you still remember Jad<o'shit,
"llllanna Be Startin' Somethin"?
Of course,ha ha! | evenremember
the day I danced to that song-l
wore a red bow tie, an orange shirt
andparangfatigue na green
pants.Memorizeko pa rin yung
steps. I can still dance kaya lang
parangthere is no ocassionfor
that and mahirap na rin gawin.
Howdoyou find Akon's rendition
of that song in Thriller 25?
Perfect! Kasi when you hear
MichaelJackson's'song now,
nostalgiclang siya.lt brings back
memories,true, but Akon's
versionhas a bounceto it that
appealsto the beat I dig. Hip-hop
and R&B pa rin talaga ang triP ko.
You and Bagets costar William
Martinez are great dancers.But
who will win in a showdown?
Akol Kasievenin highschoolnasa
dancegroup talagaako likeSmirk
Pumupunta rin ako rati kung saan-
saanpara makipag-showdown-
breakdance,pop, mga ganun.
Thosewere the days and it was fun!
Are you still in toudr with the
Bagets gang-Vice Mayor Herbert
Bautista,William, Raymond
Laucfiengco,and JC Bonin?
I don't see them as much but I
know what they'redoing.When I
went to Londonin 2004 | saw JC,
I didn't know how to react kasi the
lasttime I had seen him priorto
that was in 1986. So his visitfelt
likeseeingGod! He now has
sevenkids!
Everwore an '80s getuP recentlY?
It was just fantasticto dress uP
the '80s way becauseat the time
we felt more uniqueand free.
Happy ako sa lahat ng mga
naisuotko kasil can't wear them
today. Noon, hindi nila kayang
isuot sa kalyeyung isinusuot
namin, ha ha! Pag pumupunta pa
nga ako sa concerts ni Gary
Valencianonoon, laging makintab
ang suotko with matching
sombreropa, ha ha!
Have your twins seen Bagets or
any of your past films?
They haven't.lt's differentwhen
we're at home.When you enter
our house,you will neverthinka
showbizcouple livethere.There
FHM APRIL2008www.fhm.com.Ph
are no trophiesdisplayed.Wala
talaga.And I also don't watch my
moviesfrom before.
How challenging is it to raise
them?
It's actuallyfun. lf Charlene
(Gonzales)is at work and our kids
havea workdayin school,ako
yung pumupunta.When I get to
their school,I choosefirst kung si
Atashaor si Andresang uunahin
ko. Kung the day before, mas
matagal ko nakausapsi Atasha,
ngayon si Andres naman. Basta
laging may balance.
Are they wakeboard enthusiasts
like you?
They are not scared to try it. They
are used to ridinga boat kasi.l
have one for a lake and meron
ding pang-beach.We alwaystake
them for a ride everytime we go
to the beach.One-year-oldpa
lang sila noon kaya ngayon sanay
na sila talaga.
What's your most difficult
wakeboarding move?
Wala naman masyado,but ldo
obstacles.I know a couple of
tricks but I had to stop drn for a
while because ang dAmi ko rin
naging injuries.
When you're not on a diet, how
Why haven'tyou starredin a soaP
Pfi:t?/ilto,a enspelikula.
I still
believein buyingi hovie ticket to
experience air actor'sjourneY'
many Chicken Joy can you down
in an hour?
I can eat! Youwant me to gain 30
poundsin 10 days?| can!You
can call eatingmy passion,ha ha!
Of course I haveto work out a lot
and stay on a diet. Pero when I'm
not doingthese,ljust stay in a
room and keep on eating.
Have you ever turned down an
endorsement gig?
Yes.lt's not all about money.At
the end of the day,it's about what
you truly believein. At mahirap
mag-build up ng produkto na
hindi mo pinaniniwalaan.
Do you want to write, direct, and
produce your own movie?
SomehowI alwayssharemY
directingand writingskillsin the
moviesI make.Nakikialamnaman
talagaako sa moviesko. I usuallY
ask for a breakaftertwo or three
weeks of work so I can feel it first
and evaluatethings.KaPagmaY
nararamdamankasi akong mali,
stop muna. Taposkapag hindi
talagaayos, we revisethe scriPt.
Would you ever go the indie
route?
Yes!That I can producekasi
maliitlang naman ang budget.
Parang ang sarap laruin niYan.
Yungmga hindi puwedeng gawin
sa commercialfilms puwede sa
indie. Bawaf actor naman maY
dream project na gustong
isapelikula.
And yourswould be a tale about...
The soldier'splight.I want to
show /ahaf ng aspetong buhaY
nila, na pag tinatamaansila,maY
mga pamilyang maaaring maulila'
Kapag may nabaril na sundalo sa
Zamboanga,o sa Mindanao,wala
namang pumapansin sa kanila'
Hindi ko nga alam kung naka-
raratinglagi sa Manilaang balita
tungkolsa mga pinagdaraanannila.
Why haven't you starred in a
soap opera yet?
I cannot do TV. Mahal ko kasi
ang pelikula.I have nothing
againstsoap operaspero I think
you don't get to proveYourworth
there becausepeoplewatch it
for free.I still believein buYing
movieticketsto experiencethe
actor'sjourney.You will know
whetheryou still havewhat it
takesto be great or you'reon
your way out dependingon the
numberof peoplewho'llwatch
you in the cinema.I'm haPPYwith
sitcoms,though.
You're a multi-awarded
dramatic actor. Whicfi actor 6
you think will rake in more
awards than you?
Sanawalal Ha ha! PeroJohn
Lloyd Cruz is a good actor para
sa akin. I like the way he delivers
his lines,pero siya pa lang naftwil
kasiang nakakdsamako amorg
the young actors now.
Which one actress would you
crown the sexiest woman in tln
Philippines?
lsa lang? Ang corny naman kurry
kasalipa ang asawa ko. Ha ha!
Parangpare-pareho kasi ng
katawan ang mga naglalaban
diyan. Honestly,hindi ko pa rin
sila lahat nakikitanang personal"I
onlysee them in billboardsand
magazines. Thereare sexy
actressesna maganda talaga
yung katawan and there are those
na simple lang pero may charm.
Ang dami kong dakdak pero
hindi ko masagot.Ha ha!
What's the secret to Your boY'
next-door charm?
Walal Nakatatawanga kasiyung
ibang tao ang tingin sa akin 20
years old pa rin. Kahit yung mga
tao sa bahay,they treat me like a
kid na palakad-lakadlang.
Nakalimutanna nilang tumatanda
na rin ako, na ako ang boss nila.
Ha ha!
Has anyone ever franklY called
you ugly?
I call myselfthat at times.I've
neverseen myselfas a heartthrob
after all. Kung may nagsasabiman
nang ganun sa akin, nagPaPa-
salamatna lang ako. Pero ano ba
talaga ibig sabihin nun?
When was the last time You felt
reallyold?
WheneverI get injured.Before,I
could do all the stuntsin the
moviesand I stillfoundtimefor
basketball,wakeboarding,mga
ganun.Now everythingseemsto
take time.Thing is, I've alwaYs
wanted to grow old. In my 20s, I
couldn'twait to get into mY30s.
And I'm so excitednow that I'm
almost40. The more you age
kasi,the quieterlife becomes.
lnterview by Janelle D. Guce
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 Wheq the long wait's over!Award-winningactressand diva'in'
the-makingAlessandrade Rossichills with FHM at long last!
 I
I
Girlsof FHw lAl"""andra de Rossi
 It alwaysboilsdown to the power
of music.Timeand again,we've
turnedto musicto describe,
depict,explain,and expressthings
words can't quitearticulate. You
likea woman,you dedicatea
song.Youfind yourselfin a weird
situation,you slip in a tune to
capturethe moment.Beachtrips,
long drives,lazydays,bouts of the
blues,you nameit. Wherewords
fail,musicsaves.
Fouryearsago, award-winning
actressAlessandrade Rossisaid
yes to doing an FHM cover.But
two days beforethe shoot,the
then 2O-year-old star unexpectedly
pulledout. lt was a shocker
becauseof impendingdeadline
doom.Not that traumatizing, true,
but it's an FHM fablethat'shardly
forgotten.At the time,"Say lt lsn't
So" was on repeat.
Overthe years,we've inquired
eitherthroughour friendsfrom
Benchor throughAlessandra's
managerMannyValeraand handler
Beth delosReyes-Rivera if she'd
reconsider. Thensomething
happenedin Febr:uary.
"Na-hookako sa musiclast
year,gumagawaako ng music
sa computer, pa-record-recordl'
Alessandratells us excitedly.
She has evenproducedso much
materialthata musiccareer
didn't seemfar-fetched.So crafty,
thriftyAlexbeganthinkingabout
launchinga singingcareer."l was
onlineand [the ad for] fhm.com.ph
was flashing.Maymasbobongga
pa ba sa FHM? Mayidea pa bang
masbongga roon?"
So callswere made,
negotiationswere reopened,
schedulinghasslesironedout this
time,"We Can Work lt Out" was
on constantplay.And so herewe
are,gentlemen,baskingin Alex's
afterglow,not quitesurewhich song
best describesthe experience.
"Sailing!"Alexexclaims.Call it
convenientthat her first singleis a
remakeof that ChristopherCross
'lt's not far
hit.'Sabi nga sa lyrics,
down to paradise/ifthe wind is
right,you can sailawayl"
Rightyou are,Alex,rightyou
are.Enoughof this rambling.You
knowwhich buttonto press.
Hereat last
--:r'i'ii
l ,
Ayoko lang talagal Sabi ko nga,
I'm not a sex symbol,I'm a symbol
of love.Lagi ko itong sinasabi.
Like kanina,I was askedto cover
my breastswith my arms.For a
woman'smagazine,I probably
64 FHM APRIL2OO8
wwwfhm.com.ph
could do that pose,pero for a
men'smag,magiglngsee-through
yung arms ko di ba? Ayoko lang
bigyan ang ibang tao ng dahilan
para pag-isipanako nang ganun.
Totoo,nasasa kanilanamankung
ano'nggusto nilang isipin,but for
me to inviteyou to thinkof me that
way,ayaw ko.
Oo naman,of course.Anong
numbernga ba akosa 100 Sexiest
ba yun?
lastyear?Seventy-seven
I'm not. Alam mo naman dito sa
atin, kailanganboobsieka para
masabingsexyka. Aminin na natin.
Ako alam kong sexyako. Silahindi.
Ha ha ha! Problemnilayun. My
attitudeis sexy.My confidenceis
sexy.Sa totoo lang,proportioned
naman ang katawan ko. Hindi
naman sa pagpi-feeling,pero may
labannamanako kahitpapaano.
Tawalang siya nang fawa.I told
her l'll launchmy singingcareer
in FHM. Siyempretuwang tuwa
namansiya. Tinatanongniya kung
ano ang conceptng pictorial,sabi
ko sirena.Taposhirit niya, "Anong
itatakipsa boobs mo, shell ng
sungka?"Pero may tiwala naman
siya sa akin. Okay naman di ba?
Mas may attitudelang siguro ako
nang kaunti.And humorlDi ba
sexyyun?
Initiating contact
No. Neverna sa akin nanggaling
ang first move.Ha ha hal Ang
labong mangyarinun, hihintayin ko
munayung move ntya.
May taong pag nakita ko, naga-
gwapuhanlang ako. Pero meron
ang feelingko
ding immediately
akin siyal
Kung suplado, deadma. Pero kung
friendlysiya,"Heyl"Ha ha ha!
Tamis'no? Ha ha hal Hindi, ganito
pa rin ako-,hindi ako magbabago.
Oo naman.Pag inumpisahanniya
sa nakatatawa,parang kahit anong
w w w . f h m . c o m .ApPhR I L2 0 0 8 F H H a a
 G i r l so f F H M
gawin niya, kahit anong kalokohan,
matatawa ka na lang.
Oo, may ganun. May na-meet ako
dati super-liit pero yung humor,
kakaiba. So pwede.
Wala. Dapaf after this issue meron
na. Pag walang pumila because of
Ihis, ewan ko na lang. Ha ha!
Ganito talaga ako.l've always been
independenit Pi n abayaan talaga
ako ng mommy ko dahil alam
niyang alam ko kung ano yung para
sa akin. Makapal na ang mukha
ko bata pa lang ako.Ha ha ha! But
l'm not inconsiderateha? May mga
taong ganun, pag alam nilang kaya
nila, mas nagpapahirap pa sila
sa ibang tao. Hinditayo ganoon.
Marunong akong makisama.
Girl trouble
Always, pero hindi naman
sobra. Marami ring fool'in-mouth
6 6 F H M A P R I t 2 0 O Bw w w . f h m . c o m , p h
s i t u a t i o n sp e r o n o t h i n g b i g . L i k e , hindi sa mga artista ha. Kasi hindi
may kausap akong bading tapos mo naman usually papatulan yun. Entermusic
may nasabi akong kung ano, Nakikipag-away ako pag medyo
makikita mo yung mukha niya wala ka na sa lugar talaga like pag
biglang mag-iiba. Ay, sana kainin traffic! May biglang umaway sa'yo,
ako ng lupalodayl siyempre bababaan ko yun.
Ay hindil Hinding hindi. Kahit
Ako nga ang laging napu-put Oo, there was a time, dumaan sa movies! Nagka-offers na ako
on the spotl Marami silang may ako sa public lane, hinarang ako. noon na ganun ang tema.,Kahit
kasalanan noon. At dahrTstrong "Ma'am public ito. Private kayol' sa panaginip talaga hindi ko kaya.
ang personality ko, ako lagi ang sabi niya. Binuksan ko nang todo
contravida, ako lagi ang masama. bintana ko, inilabas ko ang mukha
ko,"Sino nagsabing privale ako? Hindi na. I changed my mind.
Public property akol" ha ha ha! Music na lang.
Ool Hindi naman dahil naapakan Tawa na lang ako nang tawa.
mo ako ngayon at umaray ako,
it doesn't mean masama akong Kami ng best friend ko, pag wala
tao. Umaray lang ako pero hindi kaming magawa, we make music,
kitahale. Ang problema lang ikaw Oo, kaming friends ko kung pi nag hahalu-halo nam i n y u ng
na nga ang umaray, ikaw pa ang gustong magsaya, pakialam ko l o o p s a n d c u t s s a c o m p u t e r .O n e
napagkakamalang masama. An g kung may ibang tao di ba? Lahat day, nakikinig lang kami nang
tao kung minsan gusto na pag naman ng nangyayari sa buhay ko lumabas yung Christopher Cross
sinapak ka, okay lang sa'yo. Hindi nangyayari rin sa inyo, nagkataon ' abi ko, gusto
s o n g , " S a i l i n g JS
pwede sa akin yun. Masama bang lang na yung sa akin, naibabalita. kong gawing chill out
umilag man lang? Malungkot pero ganun talaga. But itong kantang to. Gumawa yung
then again who cares? Ha ha ha! best friend ko ng beats, tapos
Parinig lang. Nakatingin ako sa kinanta ko lang na parang wala
kanya't alam kong nakikita niya lang.We recorded it, then tuluy-
ko. "Ano sapakan tayol" Haha O f c o u r s e .A n g p a n g r t l a n g n a m a n tuloy na. We actually have 1 1
hal Pero siyempre parinig lang. dun yung intriga. But the rest, songs, lahat original,except for
Nangyayari yun off-cam, pero okay. Masayang masaya ako. "SailingJ'
.3"-g*d\
1

#\
ffi?.4

Dildos?Vibrators? Romp'enhancl
gadgetryis aboutto blow Yourmi
FHM revealsthe life'changing
technologyheadingYourway

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Whensexwasstilltaboo
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get herthroughcold nights
whileyou were awayon
a businesstriP.Some,
though,usedbottlesor
eggplantsto get the
extrasatisfaction'
qptj
TODAY
Walerprool, remole-
conlrolled uibralor
Inventedin 1880,thevibrator
evolvedthroughthe years.AParl
fromthe populardildo-shaPed
ones(madeof plastic,silicone,
rubber,vinylor latex),a varietY
of improvedand stylishvibrators
haveemerged:the rabbit(two-
prongedfor morearousal), the
butterfly(strappedaroundwaist
for hands-free and
stimulation),
the vibratingcock ring(inserted
aroundyourwang'sshaftfor the
higherpleasureof your
ladylove).

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^ m p 3 ' sp r o m i n e n c e
, - - - i g m u s i cj u n k i e si ,t ' sn o
- ^ C e rt h e r B u z zs e l l so u t
- -.rsic-loving rompers.This
. s mplyput,usedto keep
- -' rhythmin syncwithyour
' , . . : r i t em u s i cS
. i m p l yh o o ki t
-: to an iPodand let it buzzto
-e beat!Plus,with a cock ring
- , ' y o u a n da r a b b i st t i m u l a t o r
-tr yourhoney,you both get
- enjoygood musicand
anazingarousaltogether.Get
.,ourBlackFlagtunesready,
: n e n!
 Thingama-jiggy
BEFORE
Ilildo
Theearliestdildosexcavated
in China,madeof bronze,
wood,jade and ivory,date as
far backas the New Stone
Age. lt was a favoriteof sexually
deprivedimperial concubines
and aristocraticwomen.Palace
maidsdid allthe workas their
lady-bosses comfortablylayon
theirbeds.Class!
FUTURE
The'To/
A fusionof sexaid and
communication, this toy
that comeswith a 6.5-
inchantennaalreadydoes
29 impressivemodesof
vibrationbut risesup to
7,200when pairedwith
a Bluetooth-enabled
cellphone.As longas
BEFORE
Phone ser
Talkand vividimagination were
keysto fulfillingsexualfantasies
acrossthe lines.But browse
throughthe last pagesof this
rag and you'llrealizethat skilled
eroticvoicetalentsemployed
by shrewdbusinessmen make
good of it, too!
80 FHM APRIL2008 www.fhm,com.Ph
TODAY
llouble-endeil dildo
Femalesshouldbe thankful
this sextoy is now madeof
flexiblemateriallikerubber
or plastic;it yieldsto the
user'spleasurein everyway /
imaginable.
simultaneous
stimulation,
Often usedfor
analand vaginal
thistoy is the
perfectcompanionto woman-
I
to-womanactiondue to its
breathtaking length.
you'rewithinrange,you
can stimulateyour lady
as she putsthe bullet
nearher lovetunnel.This
harbingertoy of the future
respondsto yourtext
messageas long as they
startwith"toyl'And
so easyto memorize.
1[ii[ii?q+Lii
TODAY FUTURE is best especiallyif you'renot
Gyberser The Sinulator intothe wholegetting-to-know
Unlikephonesex,this long- Thisis undeniably the next thing becauseregisteringor
distanceactionoffersgreater generation of long-distance divulgingpersonalinformation
anonymitywhen usedwithout sex.Comprisinga transmitter, is not required.But if you Prefer
plug-ins.
additional And with less a vibrator,and a receiver,using this with your honey,she can fill
moolahspentwhen your cyber it is simplethanksto its easY you with just buzzwhileYou're
buddylivesabroad,you can installation.Afteryou have thrustingin somefarawaY
alwayshaveonlinesex anytime of christenedyourtoy,anyonewho foreignland.,.even whenyou're
the day! knowsits name canbuzzyou'This with someoneelse.
 Thingama-jiggy

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BEFORE TODAY o
a
0rdinary condoms Uibrating Gondoms v.
ut
Althoughit wasn'tclearwhether Slippingit on basicallymakes F
l
LIl
ancientEgyptiansused condom your membera livingvibrator. E.

for contraceptionor as pad Anotherinventionof the Japanese,

of a ritual,the 3,O00-year-old
Egyptiandrawingof a condom
beingworn is evidencethat it
wasn'treallysomethingnew.lt
just so happenedthat it gained
popularityonly in the early2Oth
centurywith the inventionof the
disposablelatexcondoms.
this is designedwith a vibrating
ringfittedat its base,which also
servesas a wirelessreceiver
controlling it duringintercourse,
The objective,of course,is
to turn an otherwisepathetic
performanceinto a doubly
satisfyingsession.
FUTURE the rubber.Despiteits Primitive
Musical Gondoms
Are you readyto bounceto soundquality(similarto first-
Ukraine's to the
contribution gen cellphones),volumerises
worldof wonderfuljiggy? Hryhory dependingon the intensitY of the
Chausovsky, the geniusbehind romp.Plus,the tonechanges
addeda miniature everytimeyou experiment on a
musicalcondoms,
loudspeakerand motionsensorto new sexposition!

82 FHM APRIL2008 www.fhm.com.ph

 z
z
o
t

il
I

:E
BEFORE TODAY O
o
Mariang Palad Artilicid uagrna D
v.
Justas our ladypals had Today,theselovelyholesaren't LU

theirfingersto provideerotic just used in cattlefarmsfor f

pleasure,our old folks had their
handsto do the job for them.
Not onlydid they get to release
sexualtensionin the absence
of a mate,theyalso confirmed
that arthritisor carpaltunnel
syndromewas stilla longway.
But it's not likethe tradition
has died...
adificialinsemination.Men use
themfor eroticstimulation. Made
of cyberskin(a mixtureof PCV
and silicone),thesesextoys aim
to capturethe naturalporousfeel
of the realthing.Some are even
exactreplicasof famousporn
stars'orifices!Asia Argento?
JennaJameson?Nameit!
FUTURE
Japanese lfolls
One manspent$170,000to have
an armyof thesesiliconezombies
for "companionshipl'The Jap
brainsbehindthis advancement,
OrientIndustry,claimthis is the
r.!J
v.
answerto everyguy's misery.
No morenaggingand endless
courtship, just constantsilicone
girlfriendswith 35 movable
jointsyou can evenbathewith!

www.fhm.com.ph
APRIL2008 FHM 83

I
 Thingama-jiggy

a a
o a O
{ a 1
{ a l
a a f :

BEFORE
Postcardporn
Basingfrom Greek sculph-ra"
nakedpeoplehad been
traipsingfor quitesometme
But nudityonly reachedits
p e a kd u r i n gt h e 1 8 t h -
centurywith the inventioncn
postcard porn. Inspiredby
variousmass-produced
imagesdone by blackmarke:
photographers, it was the
rageall overthe globe despitegovernmentcrackdownon
In Francealone,over 200,000,000nudie
lewd materials.
postcardsweresoldfrom 1890-1930.
f/

TODAY
Rdult mouies
When productionwas
semi-legitimized in 1970,
distributionroseto
astronomical figuresmaking
it a profitablebusiness."The
industry
multi-billion-dollar
releasesabout 1 1,000 titles
on DVD eachyeari'a Reuters
reportsays,"giving
it tremendouspowerto
sway the battle betweentwo groups of studiosand
technologycompaniescompetingto set standardsfor
the nextgenerationl'

FUTURE
llolographic Porn
Futurepornflash:Porn
will not be the same
voyeuristicapproachwe
now enjoy.lmagineyourself
participating in the sexact
insteadof just watchinga
too-good-to-be-true woman
gettingboinkedby some
stranger.In the future,
you will be the actor r
makingout with thosegorgeousporn stars.Justwait
till 3-D technologyhits its perfectstride.Havea porn
nameready!

APRIL 2008 www.fhm.com.ph

 ere'sa clichethat rearedits
redundantheadafterwe chatted
with pornsuperstarSunnyLeone:
Lifeis fullof surprises.
When we askedVivid
Entertainment star,Penthouse's
2003 Petof the Year,and one
of a few adultfilm starsof Indian
descent,of the chancesof her
actingin oft-conservative Bollywood
filmindustry, "l am not sureif they
want a pornstarjust yet.But you
neverknowwhatthe futurewill holdl'
was herself-effacing reply.
Thenout of the bluewe
chanceduponthisheadlinein
vwvw.ad ultfiImdatabase.com (a
bookmarked websitefor,uhm,
"research purposes"): "SunnyLeone
to starin Bollywoodfilml'Surprisel
The Indianpressis in fact
alreadyhailingSunnyas Indian-
America'sMarilynMonroeeven
beforeshe has set foot on a
Bollywoodset. Not bad for
someonewho firstcaughtattention
for showcasingher,well,where-
the-sun-don't-shine bodyparts.

i..1ji?:.i.-i;r,rt{;i1gt -jllr i*hs lhi}i

.i-r,,:t.j91* il litii i.i 1.:;3fir: ;-t:,1:11{.,
,.t!lt:,
qr,,(-
,.,+i t" r r * ed'j-
Yes, Penthouse chose it when I did
my cover/centerfold issue for them.
'Y$u'*fl
mf Endiam{$epcemifiqtd
$r*wi rrg dn fr;xn;*ql*--pr***t":lly t!'r;r:
le*sf **,r>:rserv;ltiv* hi*ck{ir fc:"iil,;i
*:**si tli* f els'".-:fua.s m a r: Llei r:q i"*rlu,'
i*rr*galu *r:r$ lt': in {fu* eri:lft {titi:
!nrler*1rytften?
I met a girl in one of my college
classes and she gave me the
number of an agent. I called him
and he then exolained what he
did and introduced me to several
photographers.
'{h*{
*asy'l Cars tr: r":rpfei* v'ri:r.'
lhe rritie ?pr*i*r*::i:': tit,'iilc'i
* r n = g i i i * m N ye * c i , i * ; ; ' ! '
I wanted to try it out and make sure
I w a s m a k i n g t h e r i g h t d e c i s i o n .I n
so many cases girls will rush into
what they are doing but I wanted
to take things slow. I love being
with girls so it was an easy thing
to do.

8 8 F H M A P R I L2 0 0 8 w w w . f h m . c o m . p h
Girlsof FHM Sunny Leone
Any other girl"*m-gi:'$ster.ffvse
have yet tc see?
The last moviethat came out, The
Sunny Experiment,is one of my
favoritesand my lastgirl-girlmovie.
I ha.Ca greattime makingit.
hdowt!'ratyrou'reset ts ap$:ear
in youn f8rst qi:'!-ga;y'
ret*vi€o
cimyou har.rea llst of cf*'s *r}d
dgn'ts fmr y*.lurirrt*re es"afitmr?
It reallydepends.I am makingthese
filmsbecauseI am reallyexcited
abouthavingsex,I am opento
whatevercomesmy way.I am not
surewhat "don'ts"I will haveuntil
the situationarises,ha ha!
flny*1.* thres yesr$ ru,fhr
rndex*try, uvhat:ryasths fq:rnnicsi
thimg yc:* v* ever seer rlr $et,
I haveonly madea few moviesand
the funnystuffwas usuallywhen I
messedup my lines.
3*s'tl'rat? t"&nu., absut &srn
l R a i u e e ,$n ! u r r e s ?
No, I havenot sufferedany injuries.
Most of the time when you are
havingsexand enjoyingit, nothing
hurts.lt all feelsgood. I meanyou
mightbe a littlesorefromholding
yourselfup the nextday but that's
aboutit.
*itra1 ***r ihr' prevnt*Sunny
t-**r!* ,tk* rn s:led1t
I likeeverythingthat lou Se€i -
film.I lovesexand loveha,'-: r'efl,
l{or,rnany ef your on-scr3€-
orgasms are neal?
All my orgasmsare real.I oc^ :
believein fakingit. lf I am nci
enjoyingwhat I am doingthe'
thereis no pointin doingit.
We agree! 5s l'low can 'rre:.
-
a w o m a n i s f a k i n g h e r o r gas -
Youcan tell in her eyesand b'c,:,,
language, lf a girlis extralouoa-r:
nothingis happening thenI th -.
she mightbe fakingit.
Sctedl Male JLsiansare
e p u t c d t e i r a v et h e s m a l l e s :
penises in the',runrld,hor,v
€an we fo{npensate for thar
"smalNnggg'u?
Payingattentionto a woman's
needsmattersmorethanworry-:
aboutyoursize.Thereare lots o'
girlsout therewho cannothanoe
a big penis,So I wouldnot worr',
aboutthe size,Justworryabout
yourtechnique.
A g a i n : N o t e d !W e F i l i p i n o sa r e
generally s eonseruativerace
any advieeon how we can
triple=xor*r sex llfe?
Youcan alwaysget ideasfrom
watchingadultfilms.I liketo watcn
it with a partnerand copy exactly
what the starsare doing in the
movie.lt makesfor good sexand
you get lots of ideas.
We saw your Shave Eush/No
lWsreBush Girls pietureson
ths v,reb S* yt:u ,trier have any
p c l i t i e a ia s p i r a t i * n ?
No, I don'thaveanypolitical
dreams.I planon votingthisyear,
but that'sall.
tnlhatsqe the chancesof us
se*ing yor in a S*llywood film,
s i n g i n g a n e ld a n c i n g a w a y ?
I haveno idea.I am not sure if they
want a porn starlust yet. But you
neverknowwhat the futurewill
hold.I would loveto be a part of
a film likethat.lt would be very
excitingand rewarding.
Whratare the chanqesof you
e n d i n g u p w i t h a r e g u l a rg u y ?
I thinkthe chancesare high.
Personally I see myselfwith
someonewho is in the adult
industryin someway or another,
It makesit easierwhen you are
workingwrthsomeonewho
understands whatyou are doing.
But let's say yot: do end up
with a regular guy, what does
he have to do to turn you on?
I believewe'llboth needto workon
our chemistry but I loveit whena
mantakestime for foreplay.That's
how it startsfor me.Someforeplay
a n d I ' ma l l y o u r sF" H M
For morephotos ol Sunny,log on
to www.fhm.com.ph
 3

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thisApril
:K
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IOLL
u KnowledgePower!
r:Ab$fil,ABntial
Anthony Bourdain
Celebritychef Bourdainsaysthe
seductive,irresistible
effectsof
cookson hornynewlywedbrides
set himon his career.Thisbookwill
makeyou want to cook.And keep
realchefs awayfrom your wife.
I u MemodesDreams
15
and Reflections
Carl Jung
Readthisfor a crashcourseon the
collectiveunconscious.Thenaska
honeyto spendthe nightoverso
you can "read"her dreams.
r s Mefe_9hristianity
1B
and The
ScrewtapeLetters
C.S. Ler,rzrs
Sufferingspiritualanguishand
confusion?The first book reviews
the essentialsof Christianlife;the
other'reveals how the Devil
succeedsin pullingus down,
subtly,slowly,to Hell.
Dante'slnferno
17 Dante
Alighieri
It's the one and onlydefinitive
travelguidebookand realestate
referenceto hell.Still unequalled
after 687 years.
18
Mailercreatesad from the savage,
sweet spectacleof the iconic
Muhammad Ali-GeorgeForeman
fight in Zaire, Africa.Includesthe
historyof Ali's"Rope-A-Dope"
technique.
the
d H I The Multi' Man
Bruce Lee
Discoverhow Lee trainedto get
the incredibly fit bodyhe showed
off in his films.Thesebooks reveal
Lee as fitnessguru,martialads
scholar,and innovatorwho desired
nothinglessthanperfectionin his
combatphilosophy.
94 FHM APRIL2008 www.fhm.com.ph
BIIE-SIZESUEI{ERS
Draculoides bramstokeriisafive-millimeterlong
invertebrate thatpatrolssixcaves inBarrow
lslandandtwoontheNorth WestCape ofWestern
Australia, lt walksonsixlegs, thefronttwoof
which it uses asfeelers.
0therinvertebrates are
waryofD.Bramstokeri's fang-like pincers
that
squeeze itsvictims intoa pulp,lt thensucks its
preydryofitsjuice.Thisschizomid's methodical
killing
technique ishowthissucker earnedits
famous name.
22 TheJoyof Sex
Alex Comfort
It's the KamaSufrawithoutthe
exotic,hard-to-understand words.
This landmarkbook madesexual
knowledgeas homey,comfortable
and casualas MarthaStewart-
not that we're advocatingsexwith
the formerprisoninmate,okay?
Watchfor the hot,spankingnew
editionin September2008.
rJs TheHouse
Dz
of the
Seven Gables
NathanielHawthorne
The original,creep-festhaunted
housestory.Still deliversthe
scaresafter nearly400 years.
24
Orgasmic
Mantak Chia co-authoredwith
DouglasAbrams
Believeit or not, sexualecstasyis
possiblefor menoverand over
again.Containsexercises that
couldwork-if you keepyourself
fromlaughinglongenough.Many
attestto Chia'stantricsex
teachings,includingthe ownerof
a motelchainwho is a practitioner.
RainerMaria
Rilke (Selected
1nS.Vintage
ion)
Translatedby StephenMitchell
lf you planto only readone poet
in your life,get this book,which
includesthe Sonnetsto Orpheus
and the DuinoElegies,Stephen
Mitchellprovidesabsolutelythe
best translations for this god of
Germanliterature,
ErL' The Naked
ttr
and the Dead
Norman Mailer
War is allthatmenaregoodfor,
Youcome awaywith that thought
afterreadingthis novel,basedon
Mailer'sexperiences as a World
War ll soldierfightingthe Japanese
A scarring
in the Philippines.
glimpseinto how war twistsand
brutalizesthe humansoul.
27
The bastardgranddaddyof
Trainspotting. Written during
statesof drug-fuelled insanityand
psychosis, Burroughsplumbsthe
hellishdepthsof humandespair,
spinninghistale intoa triumphof
literature.
zqt Total Basketball:
're
The Ultimate
Basketball
Encyclopedia
Ken Shouler,Bob Ryan,SamSmith,
LeonardKoppett,Bob Belotti
Hard-corebasketballfans should
havethis tome.Morethanjust a
collectionof history,facts,stats
and trivia,it distillsthe passion
felt for the gameby everyb-ball
junkie.
tss The Brothers
E
Karamazov
Fyodor Dostoevsky
Some believeLeo Tolsioyis the
greatestRussiannovelist.Well,
this book was Tolstoy'spersonal
favorite.No othernovelcomes
closeto this, Dostoevsky's
examination of humangoodness
and humanevil.
u Knowledge Power!

L'L' The
zn Gountof
Monte Cristo
Alexandre Dumas
Betrayal.Vengeance.Intrigue.
Thisthrillerpublishedin Frenchin
1844 combinesactionand
adventurein a suspense-filled
packagethat'salso a whodunitin
some parts.You root for hero
EdmondDantesall the way.

rrJI Selected
z1 #
Poems: Pablo .&
Neruda w
#r-
:''
Pablo Neruda weu,uave gang
anonrssupersur
barry 0Tnovel$s, aru -/
eurors !!|fl-'r':
Thisbook is a certifiedchick writers
likeStephen
King,Amy MattGroening,
Tan, etc., - A,
magnet,just likeits Chilean collectively
knownasTh;RdkBoitom really
Remaindirs,try. ftnt:
author.Grab a copy,whisperthe Band's
named after"remaindered unsold
books,'l soldat
copies
versesin her ear,and wait for the aslashedprice.
AfavoriteBarryquipoftheiralmost
famous
'lV11g
hobby, playmusic To
writesnovelsl'
aswellasMetallica
fireworksto happen.
which
Metallica's
KirkHammett "Rock
replies, Bottom
32 dfather Remainders?Who thehellarethey?"

It throwsa vividimageof
hoodlumswith Tommyguns
bossedaroundby an aging 'JrJ Collected
zR
Poems: Auden
39
man they callninong.Despite
speakingin an ultrasonicpitch, W.H.Auden Thisclassicsatiregot so much
Don Vito Corleoneis stillthe "Layyour head,my love/human buzzilturnedintoan annoying
epitomeof angas. on my faithlessarmi'Auden expression.What it means
bringsout the splendorof human and how you exactlyuse it in
a sentenceis anotherentirely
3,3 ephen King
languageand experiencein
musicalpieceswith awesome differentmatterall together.
StephenKingat his best.lt clarity.
containsall the elementsall his
fans lookfor: horror,suspense, z.r Niqhtmareat
! ' 20;000
attentionto detail,and the Feet
poignancyof childhoodnostalgia, RichardMatheson
withoutbeingconsciously
"literaryJ'

34 llaughterhouse-
Flve
W Mathesonis the idolof Stephen
Kingand otherhorrorfiction
masters.Matheson'sdeceptively
easyprosesimplyterrifiesus, He
wrote the novelI Am Legend
Kurt Vonnegut (yes,thatWill Smithfilm).
The most popularbookof the
author,this seemslikean easy rru How
ze to Make
readat first glance:Thereare no Friendsand
charactersand there'snot much Influence People
melodramaconflictssincemost Dale Carnegie
of the folkshereare sick.But dig Readthisthenrunfor public
throughthisabsurdistclassic office.Also usefulwhen
and realizethat it is actuallymore pretending in front
to be civilized
convolutedthan Edsaon rushhour, parents,
of yourgirlfriend's

JUIGEII ! un,ou, tourists!

r0raduenturous
bookstores
AtomieBooks lfragon Hall Bookstore The Haunted Bookshop BroadUocabulary
[ocation: Baltimore, USA Location: Gincinnati,USA Location: Australia
Melbourne, Bookstore
Theshocking yellow ofthisjoint
interiois It'sburstingwithbooks in
thatdabble Itsanoccult thatcarries
bookstore Wyoming,
Location: USA
howbizarre
reflect thebookselectionis w0rldtliews, science,
Bible-affirming forsunernatural
selections iunkiesSome Thehubsfagade likeit ju$popped
looks
inthisstore.Ihechoices hereincludes andfamily resources.Atopthefront asguidebooks
DlYisuch
arespiritual to outofa pop-out
bookwithitsscreaming
thecrappiest potboilers,
how-to tomes door sitsa otgrosaur,
Inside,
towerino tlampirism, Satanism
witchcraft, andpsychic pastelhuesandcarto0nysignage.Going
and allsortsofpundit poops,
Allthe bookcases, glass
stained windows,
huge areseriously
Others
developments, creepy inyourealize it'sactually
dedicatedtoa
magazines, zines,booksandsmut candelabrum, medieval reads likeTooMany mOre seri0us feminisrn,
catlse, The$ore's
materialscarryhave asingular
theme: shieldsanda pillared Cooks The
Spoil vast includes
selection reads aboutthe
lt'sa hubthatwelcomes
bizarre. every sculpttlre
bas-relief Witch's infeminist
Lucifer'slatest
Broth, subculture
theories,
onesquirky side,They won'teven make ofSt,George's duel Lucky Nunber,and $udies,progressive
politics,
cultural
funofyoueven if you're
a priestholding withthedragon will 6/6/6ADateWith m0I/ernents, andanti-racist
anti-sexist
a kinkybondage magazine, mesmenze y0u, The Devil, books.
children's

96 FHM APRIL2008 www.fhm.com.ph

u Knowledge Power!
TOADEDI
HihonhiswebsiteMr.Skin.comgrewby35percent
afterbeing inthefilmKnocked
namedropped Up.0n
Anne nude
Hathaway's scene inHavoc,hewrites:
"Princess starAnne
Diariel bares queens!"
herdairy
He's toseeChafterboxon
alsoexcited [JVD-"the
greatest about
filmever atalkingvagina!"
A D K i n q d o mC o m e
arr
(Grdphic Novel)
Mark Waid and Alex Ross
There'sno betteraphrodisiac
thansurviving an apocalypse:
Suoermanand WonderWoman
DC
finallyget it on.A must-read
Comicsepic,
-rrJ Labvrinths:
Lz
Sel6cted Stories
and Other Writings
Jorge LuisBorges
lf you haveno ideawhat Magical
Realismis,get this book.Borges,
bornin 1899.oredictedtheWorld
Wide Web way backin 1941-or
so the scholarsand criticssay.
44 n Gods
Gods and othermythological
beingshidein the USA,surviving
on scrapsof belief.NorseGod-
KingOdin becomesa con artist,
A goddess-prostituteliterally
sucksher clientsin.
THE 80 'ff
How extensive is your
collection of books?
Now,I haveabout 2,500
books.Mostlyit's abouthistory,
non-fiction, currentaffairs,
booksfor work,and fiction.
I keep it in my library,which
was a bar before.To get better
access to my books pinagiba
ko yung one side ng bedroom
wall ko to makea connecting
door to the library.
9 8 F H M A P R I L2 0 0 8 w w w . f h m . c o m , P h
I rr TheAction
an
Hgrots
Handbook: How to
Catch a Great White
Shark. Perform the
Vulcan Nerve Pincfi,
Track a Fuqitive, and
Dozens ofl)thei TV
and Movie Skills
David Borgenichtand Joe
Borgenicht
ContainsveryusefulmanlY
information on how to do the
following:Catch sharks,take a
bullet,turntensioninto
passionatesex,fend off a ghost
fix a spaceshuttle,do a Jedimi.c
trickand VulcannervePinch,anc
muchmore!
TL' The Elements
Ao
IHE ELE}IEIIIS
OF STYLE
of Style
Willian Strunk,Jr. and E.B. White
Everbeenthe vrctimof
0 atrociouslywordedtext messages
and email?Eversaid"burjer"
ratherthan"burger"on national
Ltr Catcherin
-ru television?In the globalage,
the Rye good Englishis notjust a must,
J.D. Salinger it's absolutelysexY.
It goes:"thefirstthingYou'll
probablywant to know is where
l w a s b o r n . .a. n da l l t h a tD a v i d
Copperfieldkind of craP,but
I don'tfeel likegoingrntoit..J'
AngstyrebelHoldenCaulfield
definedthe term emo way before
it was coined,
4E abokov
L"4,1- "Lolita, light of my life,fire of mY
l o i n s .M y s i n , m y s o u l . L o - l e e - t a " '
standing four feet ten in one sockl'
l f h e d i d n ' t m e n t i o nt h e n Y m P h e t ' s
height, age and socks-this could
easily pass as a harlequtnoPener'
47n
A sprawlingepic that revivedthe
comicsindustry.lt rocksevenif
you don'tget the mythological,
literaryreferences.
titres'
]are
s''rins
E'IIEET'R l',nfi#in'i*ffl*fiJtJ*Ttf"J"'tfls0n
Do you have a particular sortthemaccordingto genreand times you read a Particular
way of taking care of your by height. book?
collection like putting How do you grab rare titles? Siguro a dozentimes.lYon
plastic covers, regulating the I go to secondhandbookstores yung book publishedng former O
z
temperature...? and huntfor hard-to-find stuff.I SingaporeprimeministerLee I
O
I putplasticcoveron all also checkout rarebooksellers to Kwan Yew titled From Third Lrl
z
score nice finds.Marami World to First.l also read for
H':,ll;,^#,:iii;h':
&
together,dapatmay space
yan sa book fairs,
minsansa Greenhills
mayroong mga oul-
severaltimesnow the book
on the Watergatescandal,A//
The PresidentsMen, bY Bob
Wodward and Carl Bernstein,
E.
I
O
=
LIJ
nang kontiin betweenspines of-printbooks. v.
para hindi ma-deform.I also Most number of my idols.FHM LIJ
F
z
 velteand sexythey definitelyare.
Charming?Theyare paid to be.
Unattainable? Youbet. Or at least,
that is what we are led to believe.
Such is the worldof the girlsin
the import-tuner scene.Insiders
describeit as an aspirational place
wherecars cost smallfortunes,
and the womenposingbeside
themridiculously gorgeous-
beautiful enoughto pop out of
the pages of FHM. The message
behindthe scene,if you can see
past it, says:Chicksdig the car.
What the car show people
don'tknowis thatsometimes,
you don't needthe flashycar with
2O-inchrimsto bag the girl.Lisa
Kim Fleming, one of the mostin-
demandmodelsin the business,
has brokenthat stereotypewith
ease.No, we weren'tsmittenby
her charms.lt's her resolvethat got
us hooked.
Thisis the secondtimethat
we havechattedwith this lrish-
Koreanbombshell.The firstwas
for the Decemberissueof lop
GearMagazrnePhilippines, where
fittinglyshe was crownedthe
yuletideseason'strafficstopper.lt
was then that she said she wanted
to returnto the Philippines to do
charitywork.lt would soundlikean
emptyPR promiseto some.But
guesswhat? She actuallyfollowed
through,,.
1 0 2 F H M A P R I L2 0 0 8 w w w . f h m . c o m . p h
We canntbelieve you actually
came back to do some charity
work. Tell us about it.
I was in Pampangathe firsttime
and we went around,giving
handoutsto all of theselow-income
families.I took greatfootageand
I showed it to everyone.I can
helpcollectdonationsfor these
underprivileged kids.lt is one more
reasonto keepcomingbackhere.
I reallydo wantto helpbecauseI
had madefriendswith theselittle
girlsfromthereand theywanted
to keepin touch,Theytrackedme
down and I gavethemsomeof
my necklaces, I criedwhen I left
becausethey camefrom really
depressedareas.I promisedto
keepin touch,and now I havepen
palsfromthe Philippines. lt is a
greatfeelingto helpevenjust a
littlebit.
So this third visit will certainly
not be your last?
The Philippines is a greatplaceto
live,and I sincerelywant to move
here.Apartfrom charitywork,I
figuredif I stayedherelongerit
wouldbe moreconvenient as I
planto do somemorework in
Asia.I actuallydid a shoot for FHM
Singaporerecently.
It isnnta secret that you have a
thing for Asian guys (Filipinos
in particular).What is it about
us that you find attractive?
It is yourmoralsand the way
you'rebroughtup.You'revery
family-oriented. Hey,no offenseto
Americanguys,I loveeverybody,
but I just feel I havea better
understanding of Asianmen.I was
raisedby my mom,who is Korean.
Plus,shetold me oncethatif lwere
to havea boyfriend, she wanted
a Filipinofor me,whichwas really
strangeconsidering someKoreans
preferto datetheirown race.Plus,
I see the moralsin a guy,not their
looks,or theirmoney.
We're sure you've dated
some men from different
nationalities,though. How did
those go?
Well yeahI have,but those
relationships didn'tlastlong.
One of them ended in two days.
ljust don'tlikethe ideaof putting
your parentsin a fosterhome.
Some peoplecan do that,I can't.
Theirideasaboutfamilyare so
different,and ljust can'tget along
withthat.I don'tthinktheyare
wrong,but theirbeliefsarejust so
differentfrom mine.Youhaveto
havesomethingin commonwith
them-and I hope no Americans
are readingthis rightnow-but
I haveyet to find somethingin
commonwiththem.But my dad
is American, so I havenothing
againstAmericansl
Would you say you are a
t r a d i t i o n a lg i r l , t h e n ? H a v e
you ever been courted durrng
your stay here?
Well,I'm not reallytraditiona
becausesometimesit's the gr-ru*
who are intimidatedby me.O-
wait,what do you meanby berc
"courted"?
You know, when a guy tries tc
win your affections.
A l l t h et i m e !
We mean, in the traditional
and old-fashionedway. The
whole flowers, meeting-the-
parents kind of thing.
Funnyyou shouldmentionthat.
becausethat only happenswher
I ' mh e r e !
Do you enjoy it?
It is definitely a change;I never
get that in Los AngeleslThe
guys hereare reallyaffectionatei
But it mightbe a littletoo much
for me,though.Plus,I can read
menverywell.I can see through
bullshit,Friendstellme thatguys
heretend to say "l loveyou" very
fast.But, I lovehow everyone
is affectionatehere,not just the
men.Everyoneis just so friendly,
and I get called"Ma'am"a lot.
Everyoneis just so sweet and I
alwaysget VIP treatment.
 G i r l so f F H M Lisa Kim Fleming
What does a guy have to do to
get your attention?
I thinklaughteris the curefor
everything. lf a guy can makeme
happy,makeme smileand laugh,he
will definitely get my attention.Any
guy can get me roses,just likethe
otherday,and it mademe giddy.I
didn'tknowI couldevenget giddy
anymore!Thosethingsare sweet,
but if a guy sincerelytriesto put a
smileon yourface,that meansmore
thanchocolatesand roses.
Any serious relationships in
the past?
I got out of a four-yearrelationship
recently,and it was becauseof my
modeling, He was insecureand
jealous,lf a guy wantsto keep me
he hasto be confidentand secure,
Mostguyswouldfeel insecure
whendatinga model.Still,a
relationship is all abouttrust,I have
nevercheatedon my guy,but I did
havea boyfriendwho went into a
stripclub.Surenothinghappened,
but I'm uncomfortable with the
idea.Why did he evenwant to see
anotherwomannaked,you know?
What's the freakiest thing that
you've ever done for your man?
ForValentine'sDaya few yearsago
I boughtmyselfsomered lingerie,
but I alsogot my boyfriendat the
timea matchingleatherthong.I told
himthatwe couldn'tdo anything
unlesshe put it on.I put on some
musicand I dancedfor him,and
then I askedhimto do the same.
It was funnybecausehe was this
gangstertypeof guy,I hopehe
doesn'treadthis interview! That's
reallyall I havedone.I don't really
planthesethings.
Apart from the antics,tell us
something about how you are
on a daily basis.
I liketo shoot pool,and the more
I drink,the betterI get! | liketo go
bowling,and I likesnowboarding,
too. ljust liketo kickback,watch
basketball, I'ma Sacramento
Kingsfan.I'mjust yournormalgirl
who likesto go clubbingwith her
friends,or evenjust stay homeand
drinkbeer.
Anything about you that might
surprise us?
Well,I do want to havea big
familyone day.I totallywant to
haveat leastthreekids.Thereis
nothingmorebeautiful to me than
havingthe wholefamilygoingto
Disneyland or something. My ex
has a largeextendedfamily,so
seeingall of themtogetherduring
the holidayswas reallysomething.
The imagestuck.I am reallyfamily-
orientedbecauseI havesucha
s m a l l f a m i l lyw. a n t a b i g o n e i n t h e
future.FHM

1 0 6 F H M A P R I L2 0 0 8 w w w . f h m . c o m , p h
FreshactressJeanGuzmanwill wow you in upcomingindie
Sfioot. Twothumbs up for perfect castingI
It lookslikethe nearlydead (if not
already)Philippinemovieindustry
has no choicebut to shed their
once bloatedbudgetsand egos
and let the littleonesin. By this
we meanindependentfilmmakers
and producers,thoseauteursliving
on the fringes,makingmovieson
shoestringbudgets,but with an
altogetherdifferentview of the
world,
And that'swhat'shappening.
Thesevisionaries who are on
the outsidelookingin are slowly
creepinginto mallmoviehouses to
show theirwares.They'rethe ones
who rakein the awards,both local
and international. On one hand
we will still haveEnteng Kabisote
and Shake, Rattle,and Rollevery
Christmasprobablyfor the next
hundredyears,'butwe're certain
peoplelikeLav Diazand Khavn
de la Cruzwill dig a wormholeto
anothercinemauniverse,
As for us,we likeallthings
new and on the edge.We
likeindiecinemabecauseit's
compelling. We likeit becauseit
could verywell be aboutus, like in
this gem,Photo Shoot,directed
by Bong Ramos.We loveit
becauseoften it starswomenfit
to be in FHM,like Photo Shoof's
JeanGuzman.
We are quitesureyou don't
know her yet and havenot seen
any of her previouswork,That's
the thingwith indiefilms-youjust
don't sit backand watch,you
lookfor it. Considerthisa proper
movietrailer.then...
Photo
How did the indie film scene
stumble upon you?
lwas planningnoonto go to
Japanpara magingentertainer,
pero merong nakakita sa aking
talentmanager.I thinkhe likedmy
charisma.Pagkataposthe offers
for indiefilmsjust cameflockingin.
We're looking at your
filmography and this first film,
Hada, makes us curious.
Sounds like a fun film.
Sobrang nakatatawayun. Sana
makahanappa kayo ng copy. In
that movie,lworkedwith Emilio
Garciaand JaclynJose.Ang role
ko roon ay babaengbakla at ako
ang reyna ng hadal Ha ha!
Was it a maximum sex flick?
No, my most daringwas in Photo
Shoot. May scene kasi roon na
 Girlsof FHM fean Guzman

pumatolako sa lesbian.Nagulat
talagaako nung nalamanko yung
mga gagawin kol Pero excitingdrn
naman...
Can you say that you enioy
women more having had a taste
of it, if only for a cinema moment?
No,yung sa guy pa rinlHa ha!
Did you have to maP out romp
scenes with your co'actors?
That's reallyimporlant.DaPat
napag-uusapanntnyo ang mga
eksenaand you also haveto bond
para maayosmagawaang roles sa
bawatfilm.Thiswayl masmadaling
matataposand iwas-sakitng ulo
rin for the director.
Of course, it follows that you
have to have done it to film it'..
Hindi naman.The imPortantthing
is how you attackyour rolesto be
supereffective.
So you're saying $tudying helPs.
Watching porn?
Yes!ln fact, nakakuhapa ako ng
tips on how to satisfymy partner.
Ha ha!Ako kasi,I want to be
differentat gusto ko ako yung the
best para nag-iisalang ako. Ha ha!
How does-it feel watching your
own movies?
Honestly,sa daringrolesko
kinikilabutantalagaako minsan.
Taposmay mga napapansin
din akong lapsesat sablayna
pronunciationsna ini-improveko
na lang.
Does your boyfriend understand
your work?
The good thing is sobrangtanggap
niya ako at kung sino ako. Yung
boyfriendko rin ngayonang
reasonI'm happyand smiling
agaln,
Care to elaborate on that?
I had a boyfriendkasifor three
yearsdin. When we brokeup,
sobrangdepressedako.lt took
me a coupleof monthsbago ko
na-realizethat I had to moveon.
Tapos,my bestfriendwas the
one who introducedme to my
currentboyfriend.Kaya super
thankfultalagaako.I evenwarned
my boyfriendna mag-ingatsiya sa
akin kasimapang-akifako! Ha ha!
Do you dream to go mainstream
and be one of the country's
sexy stars?
Grabel Sananga maging sikat
talagaako.l'min thisfor bigger
incomekasi I want to repaythe
sacrificesof my parents.I also
havesiblingsna kailanganko
mapagtapos.Puwede na ba akong
manawagandito? Ha ha! FHM

For morephotos of Jean,log on

to www.fhm.com.ph or Ert <FHM
Babe'sname) ON & send to 7399.

2008www.fhm.com.ph
116 FHM APRIL
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 G i r l so f F H M GeneviveSo

my cooking skillsproved to be
effective in getting to their hearts.
I t h i n k i t ' s r e a l l yt h e b e s t w a y t o
show how much you lovethem.
Cooking takes a lot of effort and
those efforts eoual to love.

T h e w h o l e a t m o s p h e r ei n t h e
kitchen is that there are so many
guys.Aside from doing our jobs,
we usually tease each other, So
even though you're a woman,
you haveto be willingto take
a joke even if it's a dirty or an
i n a p p r o p r i a t ej o k e .

ljoke back! Ha ha! But that's how

I met my most recent boyfriend-in
t h e k i t c h e n!

N o t r e a l l y ,b u t i t c o u l d b e a p l u s
point. But my number one priority
w o u l d b e s o m e o n e f u n n y ,a n d t w o ,
someone loyal.

No, I'm not likethat. I only tease

but nothing beyond that,

K n i v e s ?H a h a ! l j u s t d o n ' t w a n t t o
c o o k w h e n I ' m m a d . I r e a l l yd o n ' t
cook at all because it comes out in
the food.

A n y t h i n g !H e j u s t h a s t o c o o k
something he knows that I really,
r e a l l yl i k e t o e a t . J u s t t h e t h o u g h t
that he puts in the food is already
an aohrodisiac

I can't tell the exact dish because I

want my man to do some research.
H a h a ! B u t l ' l l g i v e a h i n t .I l i k e a l o t
of vegetables and I always need to
have rice!

T h a t ' sh a r d ! l w o u l d n ' t k n o w m y
i n g r e d i e n t sy e t . B u t I w i l l t r y t o f i n d
t h i n g s t h a t a r e r e a l l yn a t i v e a n d
t r y t o m o d e r n i z et h e p r e s e n t a t i o n .
T h i n k i n ga b o u t i t , I k n o w i t w i l l l o o k
delectablebut I don't know if it will
taste good! Ha ha!

No! lthink both men and women

can both be good chefs. The
gender doesn't matteras long as
you have the passion for what you
do, Your love in the food naturally
comes out. FHM

13 0 F H M A P R I L2 0 0 8 w w w . f h m , c o m . p h
 z

z
]E

z
-l

!-
l

Y
6i

LastmonthI promisedto discuss z

= ffi
Y
anotherway of debunking z ,r!!l/l
qJr
monogamy-andthat is by using l
=
u]ll
humanevolutionas a pointof L

reference.So hereit is! -

:< @
Thereis no denyingthat I [I-
ulu
majorityof us accept it is hard to z
z i[
be monogamous. And theoretically, I
I

majorityof us havecheatedon o
z
]Il|lll
-
our partnersfor at leastonce.The
z
reasonis verysimple:Because s 1l-

we, beinghumans,are naturally l

<[

polygamous. We havegrown in a tl.l {r

:E
J
systemin which one man maintains U)
a harem,and this is passedon to (5
generations. Thisirresistibleappeal
z
tF
f;
t
of dominant,highlyrespected @ di
and successfulmen becomesthe tn
ll|lll

ultimategayumafor womento be N @r
E z
drawnto them. t|.]l

Don'tworry,guys;to be u =
Y G
fair and square,womenseek -l
trlllt
z
additionalsex partnerstoo even I c!,
(L
if theyare committed.What you
z
watch on The Maury Povich Show
I
is not entirelyscriptedand it
rtL
happensmoreoftenthanyou think, :j

Why do you thinksomementend of you practice,that is "serial

to be jealousand too possessive?
Still,sexualdimorphism, or
the differencebetweenmale
and female,comesin as a
reason.The skeletalremains
of Australopithecus, who are
believedto be our ancestors,
show the sameamountof sexual
dimorphism. lt is alsosaidthat
some polygamousspeciesshow
littleor no sexualdimorphism,
whilesome monogamousspecies
show a largeamountof sexual
dimorphism.
Noneof the manylimitations
that Christianity has placedupon
sexualexpressionhas been
morehighlyvalued-andheavily
obligated-thanthe dogmathat
husbandand wife mustlimit
themselvessexuallyto each other
from marriageuntildeath.While
our devoutgreat-grandfathers may
haveregardedthis as the natural
and onlymoralway of life,it is so
rarea patternin anthropological
and historicalviewthat one is
forcedto considerit as, if not
unnatural,at leastidiosyncratic and
no more moralthan any one of a
hundredotheralternatives.
Now,let me try and defend
monogamy.lf you become
you ruinthe trust,
unfaithful,
respect,security-thefundamental
elementsof buildingrelationships-
of a persontowardyou. Unless,of
course,it's innatein yourreligion
to practicehavingseveralpartners
at the sametimeor yourGod has
givenyou 70 virgins(well,good
for you!).
Othersmayarguethat we
are abovetheseanimalsand we
must behavelike peoplewith
conscience.Thenyou mighthave
secondthoughtsof bitingthe
apple,if you knowwhat I mean.
Thereis anothertype of
"safe"polygamy, though,that I
choose(sometimes) and some
monogamy"-having several
partnersbut not at the sarnetime.
For me,this is the best type of
polygamysinceyou get to try your
"options"and pickthe best treat
from the basket.Youget to analyze
whatyou reallywant,commit
mistakesand learnfrom it, Youget
to prepareyourselffor the person
you decideto be with whenyou
want to settledown.
Good luckand hopeyou find
happiness in yourchoice!
Asiawould liketo thankthe
following: Belo Medical Group;
CosmoparkGreenhills;Salonde
Manila;PremiereCondoms
Visit www.myasianworld.com
www.asiastoys.com
www.astaspeep.com
Watch her on Kung Fu Kids on
ABS-CBN

142 FHltl APRIL2008 www.fhm.com.ph

 FHM How long have you been
together?
A) 0-6 months(0)
B) 6 monthsto a year(2)
C) 1-2years(4)
D) 2 yearsup (3)
How often do you
have sex?
A) Yourbirthday.
Providingyou
asknicely,andgivehera suitable , , , : w h a t o n e t h i n g a l w a y s
warningperiod(0 points)
B) Mostweekends(2)
C) Couple of timesa week (4)
D ) W h e n e v e rs h e b e l l o w s
frorn the bedroom or her
m a n t i s - l i k el i m b s e n f o l d
you (o)
E) Everyday,evenwhenthe red
flag'sflyingin (5)
What best describes her
underwear?
A) Practical(2)
B) Wfriteand cotton(0)
C) Silkyand classy(3)
D) Stuffedin her pocket(5)
E) Non-existent (10)
*"-\-":
144 FHM 2 0 0 8w w w . f h m . c o m . p h
J e n n y s o n R o s e r o l l l u s t r a t i o n s. l.
'.' Which of the following
'. has she ever been out
with? (2 points for each)
A) A bouncer
B ) A b l o k ew h o w o r k s i n a g y m
C) Any memberof a semi-
professionalsporting outfit
D) A dude in a band
E) A pimp
: makes her come?
A ) Y o u s p e n d i n g4 0 m i n u t e s
going down on her
B) Her going on top (2)
C ) H e r u s i n g a v i b r a t o rw h i l e y o u
take her from behind (4)
D ) A n a l b e a d s b e i n g y a n k e do u t
like you're starting an outboard
motor (6)
E ) Y o u c h o k i n gh e r f o r a b i t t h e n
s l a p p i n gh e r r o u n d t h e f a c e w h i l e
s h e b e l l o w s e n c o u r a g e m e n t( 8 )
, A ) M u s c u l a rb l o k e sw h o
'just
can stop babies crying like
that'(4)
B) Beds covered in rose petals,
s o f t l i g h t s ,S i m p l y R e d p l a y i n gi n
the background (O)
C) Firemen,basketballers,
carpenters,etc in multiples.
D) IOBSCURED ON LEGAL
ADVICE] (8)
: 'r
Which of the following
' has she done? (2 points
for each)
A) A no-holds barred threesome
with a couple
B) As above but with two blokes
C) Lapdanced for a living
D) Staned in a porn film
E) Full-contact,no-holds-barred
lesbianism
F) Textedyou intimate pictures of
her oarts
prior
tothe
Y
todishout E
z
F
U'
=
a
o
E
o
=
 Roman Ang ot WVi,:,1
Photography

All you need to know aboutthis

m o n t h ' s l o v e l ym u s e : S h e s t a r t e d
m o d e l i n ga t a v e r y y o u n g a g e , s h e
e n d o r s e so n l i n e p o k e r g a m i n g ,a n d
s h e e m b r a c e st h e r d e a o f h a v i n g
f l i n g s .A g a m b l e r b y a l l m e a n s ,
we must say, but not someone
w h o ' l l e n s n a r ey o u i n t o d e c e p t i o n .
Because as you can quite see here,
s h e b a r e s i t a l l .A l m o s t .

Out and about

I d o m o s t l yr a m p m o d e l i n g ,b u t I a l s o
have two TVCs airing and a calendar
out. lt's for World 3D,Poker.You can
find me in the month of September.
I particularlypicked that kasi my
b i r t h d a yi s S e p t e m b e r1 4 .

Girl interrupted
I ' v e b e e n i n t o m o d e l i n gs i n c e I w a s
1 3 y e a r so l d , b u t t h e n I s t o p p e d
and came back last year,after I
joined Miss Taguig. Pinilit lang
akong sumali rito,ha ha! And I
d i d n ' tw i n .

Yesbut not quite

I d o n ' t h a v e a b o y f r i e n d ,b u t I d o
have a fling. Kaka-break lang namin
ng boyfriend ko, eh. When I say L^.

fling, hindi naman siya lokohan lang f

t
pareho ninyo rin mahal ang isa't- C.

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A time for everything
Any guy who's hardworkingbut still
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1 4 6 F H M A P R I L2 0 0 8 w w w . f h m . c o m . p h
7
 lffiffirror
glhen not shopping-orgleeping,
they're up to itirff like these
l!inong workg_
kumaFe overtime
I t h o u g h t I w a s w o r k i n ga l o n e i n
t h e o f f i c e o n e n i g h t u n t i lI s a w m y
o f f i c e m a t eJ e r i c h a f e w c u b i c l e s
f r o m m e , J e r i c h ,y o u s e e , i s m y
h u s b a n d ' sb e s t f r i e n d ia n d i n f a c t ,
our daughter'sgodfather,He was
t h e o n e w h o h e l p e dm e g e t
i n t o t h e c o m p a n y ,B u t t h i s I ' d k e p t
t o m y s e l ff o r a l o n g t i m e : I h a d a
crush on him. Anyway,he was
a l s o s u r p r i s e dt o s e e m e w o r k i n g
overtime,He offered to helo me
s i n c e h e h a d a l r e a d yf i n i s h e d
h i s w o r k , H e p u l l e da c h a i ra n d
s a t b e s i d em e , W e f i n i s h e dw o r k
a r o u n d8 P M . S e n s i n gt h a t I w a s
so stressed out, he offered me a
massage.Before I could reply,he
s t a r t e dm a s s a g i n gm y s h o u l d e r s ,
1 4 8 F H M A P R I L2 0 0 8 w w w f h m . c o m , p h
I w a s s u r p r i s e dw h e n h e s u d d e n l y
touched my breasts,I wanted to
s t o p h i m ,b u t G o d i t f e l t s o g o o d l
It started from there, until I felt his
cock into my pussy,After about a
n u m b e ro f t h r u s t s ,m y c e l l p h o n e
r a n g ,l t w a s m y h u s b a n d ,i n f o r m i n g
me that he was alreadydownstairs
w a i t i n gf o r m e i n t h e c a r .I m a n a g e d
to tell him I was okay.I told him I was
w i t h J e r i c h ,k n o w i n gt h a t h e w o u l d
come uD if I told him I was alone.
J e r i c ha s k e d m e t o g i v e h i m t h e
phone. "Pare, kamusta ka na? Oo,
nag-overtime din ako," l heard him
s a y .H e t a l k e d t o m y h u b b yw h i l e h e
w a s r a m m i n gh i s c o c k d e e p i n s i d e
mel He gaveme a signthat he was
a b o u t t o c o m e a s h e o u l l e dh i s c o c k
out my wet pussy,I knelt down,
h o l d i n gh i s c o c k a n d b e g a nt o p u m p
Oh captain, my
captarn !
I'm a coliegefreshmanand a
memberof the swimmingteam.After
our first competition,we endedup
as the championsalter 11 years.The
teamcelebrated andwe all wentto
the showertn getchlorineoff our
bodies.Therewere 16 of us,but oniy
two bathroomswere availablefor
changing-theguys' and the girls'.
So we tookturnschangingand as
the only fieshman,I had to go in
Iast.0ur coachtold us to hurry up
because thebusneededto leave,or
we'd haveto pay extra.He asked
me to changewith a teammale-our
teamcaptairyin fact-at the same
time.Anyway,we were both girls so
thatwouldn'tbe a problem.\Mhenwe
were inside,my teammatesaidthat
I really Iookedsexyin my swimsuit,
so I returnedthe compliment.
\Mhilewe wete changingclothes,
my teammateaskedme to touch
her barebreaststo compareit with
mine.I did it with my eyesclosed.
I feltkind of weird becausemine
was nothingcomparedto herslBut
I heardher suddenlymoan.Vfihen
I triedto peek,she suddenlykissed
me. Shethenpressedher bodyonto
mine and startedto takemy suit off.
We rubbedon eachother'sbody,
and went harder and fasteruntil we
came.As we finisheduF,my captain
saidshehopeit wouldn'tbe our last
encounter, while gMng my pussya
nicebut hard squeeze.
lca,byemail
ttii,iiiwitiniil;f/,il,
i t .A l l t h i s t i m e h e w a s s t i l lt a l k i n g
t o m y h u s b a n do n t h e p h o n e !H e
g r a s p e dm y h a i r a n d s h o t h i s s p e r m .
I c a u g h t i t w i t h m y m o u t hw i d e o p e n ,
H e f i n i s h e dh i s c o n v e r s a t i o no n t h e
o h o n e s e c o n d sa f t e r h e h a d s h o t h i s
load.We hurriedlydressed up, with
J e r i c h a c c o m p a n y i n gm e d o w n s t a i r s .
My husband asked us how work
w a s .J e r i c h s m i l e da n d s a i d ," W e
finished it, pare!'
byemail
Daphne,
fhong thong,thong,
1n(,il9l
I hada Iall,morenoboyfriendthat I'd
beenwrthfor abouteightmonths.
We wereintofilthysexstuff,One
timeI worea checkered thong,which
madehimso happythatafterdoing
the sexystuff,he askedfor it. I gave
it to himandwondered whathe was
goingto do withit.A few months
later,we brokeup,OnedayI wasin
schoolwalkingdownthe stairswhen
we bumpedintoeachother.After
sornetalking,he handedme a heart-
shapedchocolate box,Clumsyme,I
accidentally droppedit on the stairs,
wheremanystudentswerepassing
by.lmaginemy shamewhenthe
checkered thongI gavehimmonths
agorolledoutof the boxandslidon
thefloorlApparently he wasreturning
it to melI feltveryembarrassed that
I skiooed classforthewholeweek.
Now,whenmyfriendscatchme
laughing by myself,theyknowwhy,
babypamz_l208, byemail
gets
$.ueefing.laCy
DIACKMAIIEO
Everytime my boyfriend and I havea
littletoo muchto drink,our bonding
alwaysendsup in bed,Duringone
timewhenwe werealready having
it hot and heavy,
position. I instantly
he suggesteda 69
agreedsinceit
satisfiesme the most.Aftera couole
of minutesenjoying 69, I queefed
rightin hisfacellt wastoo loudandI
couldn't.stop it, My boyfriend started
laughing hysterically especially when
I rolledout of bedbutstillcouldn't
stopthe queefing, The nextday,I
thoughtthathe wouldstillbe picking
on me so I broughtit up to warnhim.
He startedlaughing againandevery
timehe wantssomething fromme,
he threatens to tellthatincident to
s o m e o neel s e !
Juicy,byemail
 a very bad tummy ache. Going back
sffi home to poo was not an option
because we lived far from school.
So I suppressed it, not moving a
s l i g h tb i t b e c a u s ei t c o u l d t r i g g e r
an explosion.I was perspiring and
clenching my fists like I wanted to
punch the first person to appear in
front of me. I couldn'thold it much
longer so I eagerly excused myself
from class and ran to the bathroom,
f o r g e t t i n gt o b r i n g a t i s s u e .
ThankfullyI found a towelette in my
pocket so I used it to wipe my rear.
Confident that no one saw my act, I
held the towel in my hand and snuck
it in my bag. But then a meddlesome
classmate searched into my bag,
asking what my baon was, and saw
t h e s o i l e d t o w e l e t t e !H e s c r e a m e d
in disgust, but more than that, I
b l u s h e di n s h e e r e m b a r r a s s m e n t .
PauloRidulme, by email

Gommulergets ticket lo
sname
After a weeklong Christmas
v a c a t i o ni n o u r i s l a n do r o v i n c e ,
I finally headed back to work in
P a m p a n g a .A l l t h e b u s e s w e r e f u l l

,WHYME?'
Train in uain!
Thishappenedlastsummer0n my way home
to Lagunafrom school.To avoidtrafficandget
homeearly,I tookthe LHT.At the station,I saw
this cutegirl lookingat me,so I alsostared
at her andtoldmyselfthatI wouldride in the
sametrain as her to gether nameandnumber.
I saw her alreadywaitingfor the nexttrain,and
the momentI gotmy ticketthe train started
beeping, warningthatdoorswouldclosesoon.I
was aboutthreemetersawayfrom the nearest
STAR doorwhenit startedclosing,so I threwmy
STORIES shoulderbagin between,thinkingif it sensed
lacq Y.u
I bmught aforeign an obstruction it wouldopenagairyandthusI
ex-boylriendtoan couldgetin. Luckily,it did getstuck.Unluckily,
exoticzoohere to the doordidn'topen!And I couldn'ttakethe
surprise himSoI
hagoffbecause thestrapwashookedaround
waslooking atthis
cutetiger,talking
my body.I couldn'ttakeit out!I almostfainted
tohimwhen he whenthetrainstartedto move-l gotdragged
suddenly turned for morethantwo meters!Thepeopleinside
Black is back!
One evening,I met with this pretty
stranger I had been exchanging
SMS messageswith, Prior to this
meeting,we had alreadytalked
about sex,so upon seeing each
other we skipped any conversations
and insteadwent straightto an
aoartelle.There I realizedthat this
g i r l d i d n ' t p o s s e s sa " p l e a s i n g
personality"-shewas so eager to
have sex with me, so I tried my best
to compensate her aggressiveness.
I turned off th'e lights and began
kissing her neck down to her boobs
where I concentratedon for a
couole of minutes.Then I went down
to her wet pussy.When I began
penetratingher doing the doggy,
I sucked her back to leavea kiss
mark. I felt something strange on my
tongue-actually,a couple of them. I
just spitted it out and didn't bother
for a while because I was so busy
banging her ass. After the first round,
I grew more curious so I turned on
the lights.I checked out the bits and
found out that her back was filled
with blackheads-myriadsof itl I also
found out that the spot where I left a
kiss mark was now blackhead-free.
But this didn't stop me from having
five more rounds with her.
Donald, by email
at the time so I tried to course it
t h r o u g ha n a g e n t w h o s e b u s e s
w e r e b a s e d i n t h e m a i n l a n d .I g u e s s
luck was on my side because I got
a ticket and it said my departure
time was at 4:30PM. So I boarded
a ferry to the mainlandand sailed
for hours. We arrived at about 4PM,
3 0 m i n u t e sa h e a d o f s c h e d u l e d
time. The bus was not yet around
so I had time to shop pasalubong
for my friends at work. When I got
back, I saw the bus had arrived
so I hurriedlyboarded. After
several kilometerson the road,
the bus attendant kept counting
the passengers as if he noticed
something was wrong. I asked him
about the matter and he checked my
t i c k e t .I f e l t l i g h t n i n gs t r i k e m e w h e n
he told the driver, "Pare, ihiNo mo
saglit at mali yung nasakyan niyang
busl' What the heck, I boarded the
wrong bus! lt had the same name
b u t a d i f f e r e n tb o d y n u m b e r !|
h u r r i e d l ys t e p p e d o u t o f t h e b u s a n d
learned that my bus would be late
because it fetched a passenger on
nearby town before heading to the
terminal.The worst part? | left the
pasalubong on THAT other bus!
Joel,by email
o
o
t

J
I
hisbutttoward me thetrainstartedto lookworried.ThankGodthe (5
andsquirted piss
Iadysecurityguardwhistledto makethetrain Fitthyh"q gets LIJ
Y
straightintomy
operatorstop.Because of my embarrassment uncouerEu Y

face!| didn'tknow I n h i g h s c h o o l ,m y m o m w o u l d
tigersdothatto I waitedfor the nexttrain.Butthatdidn'tstop always prepare me packed lunch. lt
z
a)

mark theirterritory! me from findingthatcutegirl again.After all could be hotdogs, tapas,chicken-

F-

t
Toomuch fortrying it wouldbe easierto introduce myself.. as the anything that tastes good with a
F
a
l
toimpress myguyl guywho gotstuckin the LHTdoorlLj,byemail c u p o f r i c e . O n e d a y i n s c h o o l ,I h a d f

1 6 0 F H M A P R I L2 0 0 8 w w w . f h m , c o m , p h