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Winter 2007Volume IV, Issue II

Oh dear...

As both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama declare theircandidacy for the 2008 election, a nation is left to wonder,who will be our leader? Full Story Page 3

the crawler

Winter 2007

its everthing you ever needed to know...and some things you didn’t

January 2007 February 2007

Making a noteworthy come- back, the Dixie Chicks takehome five Grammy awards,including album and song of theyear.Sir Richard Branson, owner of Virgin Group Ltd., announcedthat he will award a twenty-fivemillion dollar prize to the firstscientist(s) who devise a wayto suck greenhouse gasses fromthe atmosphere.Steve Jobs announces Apple’s plan to unveil it’s new iphone inJune. It will retail for $499 andis only available with servicefrom Cingular.University of Michigan studentsare wearing surgical masks ina study aimed at tracking thespread of influenza.Al Gore is among this year’s167 nominees for a NobelPeace Prize for his movie

An Inconvient Truth

Accoring to the Ku Klux Klan,illegal imigration is helpingdrive their membership to lev-els not seen since the 1960sTexas Governer Rick Perryis under fire for his propsedmeasure that all sixth grade girlsrecieve the new HPV vaccine.Oil prices dropped to $49.90 per barrel early in the month beforefreezing weather nation-widesent prices soaring once again.President Bush focuses his Stateof the Union Speech on his plansfor Iraq, energy reform, andimmigration.Ladies and Gentlemen, your tax dollars at work: after los-ing a bet to Florida Senator Bill Nelson, Ohio Senator SherrodBrown did fifty-five pushupsin Nelson’s office. (And just incase you were trapped in a boxduring the BCS championship,the Florida Gators beat the OhioState Buckeyes 41-14.)Both the Senate and House have passed a measure that increasesthe national minimum wage$2.10 over the course of twoyears. The Senate grouped the bill with a series of tax-breaksfor small businesses and taxincreases for cooperations.Democrats announce that the2008 Democratic National Con-vention will be held in Denver,Colorado. In other news, theRocky Mountains crumble atthought of Howard Dean’s yell.Bush’s new plans for Iraq in-clude a troop surge of just over 20,000 soldiers sent to defendtwo of the nations most resiliantareas.

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Congress’ promise to work ﬁveday weeks is interrupted early,as lawmakers request their ﬁrstday of work off to attend acollege football game.Barbra Striesand has agreed togive the largest donations al-lowed by law to the three demo-cratic frontrunners of 2008.

Super Bowl Once Again MostScandelous Game on Television

Emilia Huneke-Bergquist

Just as we were all forgetting JanetJackson’s unfortunate slip at the 2004Super Bowl, game number forty-onearrived. Not to worry, the unusuallydemure Prince had nothing to do withit; this time, it was advertisers who“malfunctioned.”With a thirty-second spot during thegame running just over 2.6 milliondollars, it is understandable that,according to a ComScore poll, 48 percent of viewers watch the gamesolely for the commercials. Each year,corporations work for months and paymillions to impress consumers duringAmerica’s most watched television program. This year’s bowl boasted animpressive 93 million viewers, makingit the third most watched programin television history, just after Super Bowl XXX and the M*A*S*H finale,and with so many millions of viewersliving in today’s hypersensitive society,it is no surprise that this year’s gamewas not without controversy.Less than twenty-four hours after thefirst commercials had aired, several gayrights groups, including the Gay andLesbian Alliance Against Defamation(GLADD), filed formal complaintsagainst the Masterfoods USAcooperation for a Snickers advertisementthat aired during this year’s Super Bowl. The commercial showed twomechanics sharing a candy bar, almostkissing, then “doing something manly”to try and compensate. According toMasterfoods, consumer feedback wasgenerally positive, but Neil Giuliano, president of GLADD, released astatement saying, “That Snickers,Mars, and the NFL would promote andendorse this kind of prejudice is simplyinexcusable.” Masterfoods quickly pulled their commercial from the air,releasing an apology to everyoneoffended. However, they were not theonly ones to be hit with post-bowlcomplaints.General Motors’s advertisementfeaturing a robot who dreams it is pulled from the assembly line beforethrowing itself from a bridge has drawnsharp criticisms from mental healthorganizations, who claim it belittlesthe tragedy of suicide. Originally, GMagreed to keep the commercial on theair unedited, but the corporation hasnow decided to edit the bridge scene before it airs again during this year’sAcademy Awards.Both controversies come after the premature release of a commercialfeaturing Kevin Federline—who later apologized for angering America’s fastfood workers after his portrayal of one.In today’s society, all of the apologiesand pulled ads are no surprise, andthe consumer and political strength of such groups is quite notable. Yet, as themajority of people who felt no offense,nor prejudice, while viewing the Super Bowl we, too, are responsible for voicing our opinions. As the men inthe snickers commercial ripped their hair—we laughed, as the robot fell—wecringed, and as “K-Fed” rapped—well,we did a little bit of both. At no pointwere the commercials anti-gay, pro-suicide, or demoralizing. They wereentertaining and creative, and shouldthese ridiculous complaints continue, itis not likely we will be seeing either of those things during next year’s Super Bowl.

GUN: $250 AMMUNITION: $50DIAPERS: $10BEING AGE TWO, AND USING ALL THREE:

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In the Running*

OfﬁciallyBarack Obama-D-ILHilary Clinton-D-NYJohn Edwards-D-NCChristopher Dodd-D-CT Dennis Kucinich-D-OH-Sam Brownback-R-KSJohn H. Cox-R-ILMitt Romney-R-MADuncan Hunter-R-CA-Steve Cubby-L-CAChristine Smith-L-COGeorge Phillies-L-MAUn-OfﬁciallyBill Richardson-D-NM-Rudy Giuliani-R-NYJohn McCain-R-AZTom Tancredo-R-CORon Paul-R-TXJim Gilmore-R-VA-Doug Stanhope-L-AZRobert Milnes-L-NJ-

*Canidates listed as “Official” have filedformal papers with the Federal Elec-tion Commission, whereas “Un-official”canidates have only formed exploratorycommitties

Last month saw two groundbreaking bids for the Democratic Presidential Nomination for 2008. Hillary Clin-ton and Barack Obama have emergedas the two frontrunners in the Dem-ocratic race for the presidency. Al-though they share a party label, thereis a striking difference in their perso-nas and perspectives. As they con-tinue to establish themselves throughtheir campaigns, they polarize their party and set the stage for an intenseand potentially dividing competition.Sen. Clinton is an established figurein the world of politics. She boasts un- paralleled name recognition and over two decade’s worth of experience inthe political spotlight. After servinga term as first lady, she became thefirst presidential wife to strike outon her own in politics, spending sixyears in the Senate before announc-ing her bid for presidential candida-cy. In addition to name recognition,Clinton’s Democratic domination isaided by her already substantial bank account and her knack for fund-rais-ing. Her political advantage is fur-ther solidified by the support of oneof the greatest political maneuverersof our time, her husband, Bill Clinton.However, this particular familial tie isnot wholly advantageous. A portionof her name recognition is no doubttied to the highly publicized scandalsof Bill Clinton’s presidency. Clintoncelebrates a long tenure in Washing-ton, but suffers from the inevitableeffects of muckraking and stalenessthat comes from so much time in the public eye. This widespread famil-iarity that could dilute the potencyof other politicians, is combated byan exceptionally powerful personal-ity and a reputation for being toughand tenacious. However these traitscan often work to her disadvantage

-Tug of War-

Why The power struggle between Clinton and Obama mayjust be the Republican’s ticket to 2008

as well. Her unwavering and reso-lute nature serves as a divisive factor even among her own party. Peopleeither love Clinton or they hate her.Sen. Clinton’s quest for candidacycomes as no surprise, but this po-litical powerhouse may not have the preeminent political advantage thather celebrity status would suggest.Sen. Barack Obama is a much newer face in the political scene. A total of only two years in the Senate provideshim with a freshness and intrigue thathis more established colleagues lack, but also raises the question of his experience and preparedness for such ademanding and complex role as Pres-ident of the United States. He cuts aﬁgure of the common man, yet his dy-namic personality has been enough toovershadow his rookie status and con-vince thousands of Americans of his political abilities. Part of his popular appeal is due to his liberality of ideas.He has stated his desire to obscure theline between blue and red and to fos-ter a new uniﬁcation of the American people. This brand of idealism is adirect throwback to such presidentialgreats as Abraham Lincoln and JohnF. Kennedy. As he declared his can-didacy, he declared that “the ways of Washington have to change” in hisendeavor to “build a more hopefulAmerica”. Although the David versesGoliath setup of this candidacy cam- paign is certainly to his advantage,it just may not be enough to over-come his glaring lack of experienceand prestige in the political arena.One of the hardest things for anycandidate in a primary is the neces-sity of securing the votes neededwithin the party. In addition, thecandidate needs to have the ability tomake a move towards the middle inthe hopes of swinging more hesitantvotes. It is clear from Sen. Clinton’sstances on many of the issues thatshe has already done that. Clintonis very positive about the work thetroops are doing in Iraq, but hesi-tates to discuss the direction of the

continued on page 9

Kate Martin &Heather SHell