GRANDMA’S CHRISTMAS STAR ©By Penny Halder

Years ago, before the internet, the little angel dressed in red on top of ourtree was very nice. But I was ready for a change. I thought awhile and decided Iwould now like to have the traditional star topping our tree. So in my shoppingoutings I found myself looking for just the “right one.” Unfortunately, I couldn’tfind just the “right one” that year or the next or the next. For three Christmasseasons I diligently looked and finally I saw it. There it was prominently displayedon top of a gorgeous tree in a specialty shop. I looked for it on the shelves withoutsuccess so I called a sales person over to ask if they had anymore of that particularstar. In eager anticipation, I waited for the clerk to come back with my star. Myface fell when she came to me with the bad news that they were out of stock.Trying to hide my disappointment, I asked her if she would sell me the one ondisplay. My smile returned when she agreed. I paid her and floated out the door ofthe store.When I got home, I eagerly handed the star to my husband and asked him toplace it on top of the tree. The star looked magnificent on our humble tree evenbefore he plugged it in! I held my breath in anticipation as the plug went into thesocket. To my great dismay all the lights on the tree lit up except those in my star.After careful examination, my husband said it was just a burnt out light bulb. Hesaid it would be easy enough to replace. However, it turned out that my star was sounique there were no replacement bulbs to be found. I had to settle for a star thatshowed no light. I searched all the stores I could find for two more Christmasseasons. Finally, I did find a similar star which had the right size bulbs. Whoopee-my journey ended, or so I thought. I looked at the price, it was so high, and I justcouldn’t bring myself to spend that much money just for replacement bulbs!That year my grandmother was very ill and near death. As Christmas dayapproached, grandma was failing quickly. I felt bad for her. Grandma and I had adifferent kind of relationship than most people would think. For whatever reason,there seemed to be something in the way that kept my grandmother from loving methe way I hoped she would even as a little child. I was grown up and married nowand I was determined to look for some way to bring peace to my heart. She hadbeen ill for the last several years and didn’t know me anymore, but I went to herbedside a few weeks before Christmas. After some earnest prayers, by God’sgrace, I was able to feel forgiveness in my heart. I came to the realization thatshe had done the best she could with the resources she had. I found myself