giving him a dose of his own medicine will wake him up. Well, it won't. It will just makeyou feel as lousy as he does.
5. The fifth strategy is to try and get him to change.
You are sure that if only youcould get him the help he needs things would get back to normal. You drop hints andyou tell him directly that he needs to see someone--a doctor, a therapist, a counselor, apriest--anyone that can help him get well. You don't really think you're trying to changehim, just help him. It doesn't work. He just feels more pressured.
6. The sixth strategy is to change yourself to become the person you think hewants
. He clearly seems to be distancing himself, physically and emotionally. You'refrightened and at times panicked. You think that if you could lose the weight, be moreavailable, dress more sexily, be more adventuresome, he will turn back towards youand want you again. No, no, and no! First, changing yourself to please someone elsewill make you miserable. Second, he doesn't really know what he wants. As soon asyou change one way, he wants you to be the other way. One minute he is the nice andhelpful Dr. Jekyll. Without warning, however, he changes into the angry and aggressiveMr. Hyde.
The one strategy that will work, but is harder than hell to practice.
So, what’s a woman to do? You love this guy, but you respect yourself. You don’twant to leave him, but you’re not willing to be the recipient of his abuse. The first thingyou need to do is take care of yourself. To do that, you must remind yourself that youare not to blame for his behavior. If he came down with the flu and he was congestedand out of sorts you wouldn’t blame yourself, would you? But he is not to blame either.