!

"#$%$&'()*+"
&,)-+'./)0''$%1"
Buck Cover:
Winner o[ the Nctioncl ool Aucrd [or [iction. . . Acclcimed bu c
:o= ool Weel poll o[ zoo prominent cuthors, critics, cnd editors cs
"the most distinquished sinqle uorl published in the lcst tuentu
uecrs."
Unlile cnu notel uou'te eter recd, this is c richlu comic, deeplu
trcqic, cnd pro[oundlu soul-secrchinq storu o[ one uounq Neqro's
bc[[linq experiences on the rocd to sel[-discoteru.
Irom the bizcrre encounter uith the uhite trustee thct results in
his expulsion [rom c Southern colleqe, to its pouer[ul culminction in
Neu Yorl's Hcrlem, his storu motes uith c relentless drite:-the
niqhtmcrish job in c pcint [cctoru-the bitter disillusionment uith the
"rotherhood" cnd its policu o[ betrcucl-the tiolent climcx uhen
screcminq tensions cre relecsed in c terri[uinq rcce riot.
This brillicnt, monumentcl notel is c triumph o[ storu-tellinq. It
retecls pro[ound insiqht into eteru mcn's struqqle to [ind his true
sel[.
"Touqh, brutcl, sensctioncl. . . it blczes uith cuthentic tclent."-Neu
Yorl Times
"A uorl o[ extrcordincru intensitu-pouer[ullu imcqined cnd
uritten uith c sctcqe, urulu humorous qusto."-The Atlcntic
Monthlu
"A stunninq blocl-buster o[ c bool thct uill [loor cnd [lcbberqcst
some people, bedetil cnd intrique others, cnd leep eterubodu recdinq
riqht throuqh to its explosite end."-Lcnqston Huqhes
"Ellison urites ct c uhite hect, but c hect uhich he mcnipulctes lile c
tetercn."-Chiccqo Sun-Times
TO DA
COPYRGHT, 1q;, 1q8, 1=z, BY RAPH ESON
AII rIgILs reserved under nLernuLIonuI
und Pun-AmerIcun CopvrIgIL ConvenLIons.
or InIormuLIon uddress Rundom House, nc.,
q=; MudIson Avenue, New York, New York 1oozz.
TIIs Is un uuLIorIzed reprInL oI u Iurdcover edILIon
pubIIsIed bv Rundom House, nc.
THRTEENTH PRNTNG
SGNET BOOKS ure pubIIsIed bv
TIe New AmerIcun Ibrurv, nc.,
1o1 Avenue oI LIe AmerIcus, New York, New York 1oo1
"You cre scted," cried Ccptcin Delcno, more cnd more cstonished
cnd pcined: "uou cre scted: uhct hcs ccst such c shcdou upon uou?"
Hermun MeIvIIIe, BenILo Cereno
HARRY: I tell uou, it is not me uou cre loolinq ct,
Not me uou cre qrinninq ct, not me uour con[identicl lools
Incrimincte, but thct other person, i[ person,
You thouqht I ucs: let uour necrophilu
Ieed upon thct ccrccse. . .
T. S. EIIoL, umIIv ReunIon
231'145(
um un InvIsIbIe mun. No, um noL u spook IIke LIose wIo
IuunLed Edgur AIIun Poe; nor um one oI vour HoIIvwood-movIe
ecLopIusms. um u mun oI subsLunce, oI IIesI und bone, IIber und
IIquIds-und mIgIL even be suId Lo possess u mInd. um InvIsIbIe,
undersLund, sImpIv becuuse peopIe reIuse Lo see me. Ike LIe bodIIess
Ieuds vou see someLImes In cIrcus sIdesIows, IL Is us LIougI Iuve
been surrounded bv mIrrors oI Iurd, dIsLorLIng gIuss. WIen LIev
upproucI me LIev see onIv mv surroundIngs, LIemseIves, or IIgmenLs
oI LIeIr ImugInuLIon-Indeed, evervLIIng und unvLIIng excepL me.
Nor Is mv InvIsIbIIILv exucLIv u muLLer oI u bIo-cIemIcuI uccIdenL
Lo mv epIdermIs. TIuL InvIsIbIIILv Lo wIIcI reIer occurs becuuse oI u
pecuIIur dIsposILIon oI LIe eves oI LIose wILI wIom come In conLucL.
A muLLer oI LIe consLrucLIon oI LIeIr Inner eves, LIose eves wILI wIIcI
LIev Iook LIrougI LIeIr pIvsIcuI eves upon reuIILv. um noL
compIuInIng, nor um proLesLIng eILIer. L Is someLImes udvunLugeous
Lo be unseen, uILIougI IL Is mosL oILen ruLIer weurIng on LIe nerves.
TIen Loo, vou're consLunLIv beIng bumped uguInsL bv LIose oI poor
vIsIon. Or uguIn, vou oILen doubL II vou reuIIv exIsL. You wonder
wIeLIer vou uren'L sImpIv u pIunLom In oLIer peopIe's mInds. Suv, u
IIgure In u nIgILmure wIIcI LIe sIeeper LrIes wILI uII IIs sLrengLI Lo
desLrov. L's wIen vou IeeI IIke LIIs LIuL, ouL oI resenLmenL, vou begIn
Lo bump peopIe buck. And, IeL me conIess, vou IeeI LIuL wuv mosL oI LIe
LIme. You ucIe wILI LIe need Lo convInce vourseII LIuL vou do exIsL In
LIe reuI worId, LIuL vou're u purL oI uII LIe sound und unguIsI, und vou
sLrIke ouL wILI vour IIsLs, vou curse und vou sweur Lo muke LIem
recognIze vou. And, uIus, IL's seIdom successIuI.
One nIgIL uccIdenLuIIv bumped InLo u mun, und perIups becuuse
oI LIe neur durkness Ie suw me und cuIIed me un InsuILIng nume.
sprung uL IIm, seIzed IIs couL IupeIs und demunded LIuL Ie upoIogIze.
He wus u LuII bIond mun, und us mv Iuce cume cIose Lo IIs Ie Iooked
InsoIenLIv ouL oI IIs bIue eves und cursed me, IIs breuLI IoL In mv Iuce
us Ie sLruggIed. puIIed IIs cIIn down sIurp upon LIe crown oI mv
Ieud, buLLIng IIm us Iud seen LIe WesL ndIuns do, und IeIL IIs IIesI
Leur und LIe bIood gusI ouL, und veIIed, "ApoIogIze! ApoIogIze!" BuL
Ie conLInued Lo curse und sLruggIe, und buLLed IIm uguIn und uguIn
unLII Ie wenL down IeuvIIv, on IIs knees, proIuseIv bIeedIng. kIcked
IIm repeuLedIv, In u Irenzv becuuse Ie sLIII uLLered InsuILs LIougI IIs
IIps were IroLIv wILI bIood. OI ves, kIcked IIm! And In mv ouLruge
goL ouL mv knIIe und prepured Lo sIIL IIs LIrouL, rIgIL LIere beneuLI LIe
IumpIIgIL In LIe deserLed sLreeL, IoIdIng IIm bv LIe coIIur wILI one
Iund, und openIng LIe knIIe wILI mv LeeLI-wIen IL occurred Lo me
LIuL LIe mun Iud noL seen me, ucLuuIIv; LIuL Ie, us Iur us Ie knew, wus
In LIe mIdsL oI u wuIkIng nIgILmure! And sLopped LIe bIude, sIIcIng
LIe uIr us pusIed IIm uwuv, IeLLIng IIm IuII buck Lo LIe sLreeL. sLured
uL IIm Iurd us LIe IIgILs oI u cur sLubbed LIrougI LIe durkness. He Iuv
LIere, mounIng on LIe uspIuIL; u mun uImosL kIIIed bv u pIunLom. L
unnerved me. wus boLI dIsgusLed und usIumed. wus IIke u drunken
mun mvseII, wuverIng ubouL on weukened Iegs. TIen wus umused.
SomeLIIng In LIIs mun's LIIck Ieud Iud sprung ouL und beuLen IIm
wILIIn un IncI oI IIs IIIe. begun Lo IuugI uL LIIs cruzv dIscoverv.
WouId Ie Iuve uwukened uL LIe poInL oI deuLI? WouId DeuLI IImseII
Iuve Ireed IIm Ior wukeIuI IIvIng? BuL dIdn'L IInger. run uwuv InLo
LIe durk, IuugIIng so Iurd Ieured mIgIL rupLure mvseII. TIe nexL
duv suw IIs pIcLure In LIe DuIIv News, beneuLI u cupLIon sLuLIng LIuL
Ie Iud been "mugged." Poor IooI, poor bIInd IooI, LIougIL wILI
sIncere compussIon, mugged bv un InvIsIbIe mun!
MosL oI LIe LIme (uILIougI do noL cIoose us once dId Lo denv
LIe vIoIence oI mv duvs bv IgnorIng IL) um noL so overLIv vIoIenL.
remember LIuL um InvIsIbIe und wuIk soILIv so us noL Lo uwuken LIe
sIeepIng ones. SomeLImes IL Is besL noL Lo uwuken LIem; LIere ure Iew
LIIngs In LIe worId us dungerous us sIeepwuIkers. Ieurned In LIme
LIougI LIuL IL Is possIbIe Lo currv on u IIgIL uguInsL LIem wILIouL LIeIr
reuIIzIng IL. or InsLunce, Iuve been currvIng on u IIgIL wILI
MonopoIuLed IgIL & Power Ior some LIme now. use LIeIr servIce und
puv LIem noLIIng uL uII, und LIev don'L know IL. OI, LIev suspecL LIuL
power Is beIng druIned oII, buL LIev don'L know wIere. AII LIev know Is
LIuL uccordIng Lo LIe musLer meLer buck LIere In LIeIr power sLuLIon u
IeII oI u IoL oI Iree currenL Is dIsuppeurIng somewIere InLo LIe jungIe oI
HurIem. TIe joke, oI course, Is LIuL don'L IIve In HurIem buL In u
border ureu. SeveruI veurs ugo (beIore dIscovered LIe udvunLuge oI
beIng InvIsIbIe) wenL LIrougI LIe rouLIne process oI buvIng servIce
und puvIng LIeIr ouLrugeous ruLes. BuL no more. guve up uII LIuL,
uIong wILI mv upurLmenL, und mv oId wuv oI IIIe: TIuL wuv bused upon
LIe IuIIucIous ussumpLIon LIuL , IIke oLIer men, wus vIsIbIe. Now,
uwure oI mv InvIsIbIIILv, IIve renL-Iree In u buIIdIng renLed sLrIcLIv Lo
wIILes, In u secLIon oI LIe busemenL LIuL wus sIuL oII und IorgoLLen
durIng LIe nIneLeenLI cenLurv, wIIcI dIscovered wIen wus LrvIng Lo
escupe In LIe nIgIL Irom Rus LIe DesLrover. BuL LIuL's geLLIng Loo Iur
uIeud oI LIe sLorv, uImosL Lo LIe end, uILIougI LIe end Is In LIe
begInnIng und IIes Iur uIeud.
TIe poInL now Is LIuL Iound u Iome-or u IoIe In LIe ground, us
vou wIII. Now don'L jump Lo LIe concIusIon LIuL becuuse cuII mv Iome
u "IoIe" IL Is dump und coId IIke u gruve; LIere ure coId IoIes und wurm
IoIes. MIne Is u wurm IoIe. And remember, u beur reLIres Lo IIs IoIe
Ior LIe wInLer und IIves unLII sprIng; LIen Ie comes sLroIIIng ouL IIke
LIe EusLer cIIck breukIng Irom ILs sIeII. suv uII LIIs Lo ussure vou LIuL
IL Is IncorrecL Lo ussume LIuL, becuuse 'm InvIsIbIe und IIve In u IoIe,
um deud. um neILIer deud nor In u sLuLe oI suspended unImuLIon. CuII
me Juck-LIe-Beur, Ior um In u sLuLe oI IIbernuLIon.
Mv IoIe Is wurm und IuII oI IIgIL. Yes, IuII oI IIgIL. doubL II LIere
Is u brIgILer spoL In uII New York LIun LIIs IoIe oI mIne, und do noL
excIude Broudwuv. Or LIe EmpIre SLuLe BuIIdIng on u pIoLogrupIer's
dreum nIgIL. BuL LIuL Is LukIng udvunLuge oI vou. TIose Lwo spoLs ure
umong LIe durkesL oI our wIoIe cIvIIIzuLIon-purdon me, our wIoIe
cuILure (un ImporLunL dIsLIncLIon, 've Ieurd)-wIIcI mIgIL sound IIke
u Ioux, or u conLrudIcLIon, buL LIuL (bv conLrudIcLIon, meun) Is Iow
LIe worId moves: NoL IIke un urrow, buL u boomerung. (Bewure oI LIose
wIo speuk oI LIe spIruI oI IIsLorv; LIev ure prepurIng u boomerung.
Keep u sLeeI IeImeL Iundv.) know; Iuve been boomerunged ucross
mv Ieud so mucI LIuL now cun see LIe durkness oI IIgILness. And
Iove IIgIL. PerIups vou'II LIInk IL sLrunge LIuL un InvIsIbIe mun sIouId
need IIgIL, desIre IIgIL, Iove IIgIL. BuL muvbe IL Is exucLIv becuuse um
InvIsIbIe. IgIL conIIrms mv reuIILv, gIves bIrLI Lo mv Iorm. A beuuLIIuI
gIrI once LoId me oI u recurrIng nIgILmure In wIIcI sIe Iuv In LIe
cenLer oI u Iurge durk room und IeIL Ier Iuce expund unLII IL IIIIed LIe
wIoIe room, becomIng u IormIess muss wIIIe Ier eves run In bIIIous
jeIIv up LIe cIImnev. And so IL Is wILI me. WILIouL IIgIL um noL onIv
InvIsIbIe, buL IormIess us weII; und Lo be unuwure oI one's Iorm Is Lo
IIve u deuLI. mvseII, uILer exIsLIng some LwenLv veurs, dId noL become
uIIve unLII dIscovered mv InvIsIbIIILv.
TIuL Is wIv IIgIL mv buLLIe wILI MonopoIuLed IgIL & Power.
TIe deeper reuson, meun: L uIIows me Lo IeeI mv vILuI uIIveness.
uIso IIgIL LIem Ior LukIng so mucI oI mv monev beIore Ieurned Lo
proLecL mvseII. n mv IoIe In LIe busemenL LIere ure exucLIv 1,6
IIgILs. 've wIred LIe enLIre ceIIIng, everv IncI oI IL. And noL wILI
IIuorescenL buIbs, buL wILI LIe oIder, more-expensIve-Lo-operuLe kInd,
LIe IIIumenL Lvpe. An ucL oI suboLuge, vou know. 've uIreudv begun Lo
wIre LIe wuII. A junk mun know, u mun oI vIsIon, Ius suppIIed me
wILI wIre und sockeLs. NoLIIng, sLorm or IIood, musL geL In LIe wuv oI
our need Ior IIgIL und ever more und brIgILer IIgIL. TIe LruLI Is LIe
IIgIL und IIgIL Is LIe LruLI. WIen IInIsI uII Iour wuIIs, LIen 'II sLurL on
LIe IIoor. JusL Iow LIuL wIII go, don'L know. YeL wIen vou Iuve IIved
InvIsIbIe us Iong us Iuve vou deveIop u cerLuIn IngenuILv. 'II soIve LIe
probIem. And muvbe 'II InvenL u gudgeL Lo pIuce mv coIIeepoL on LIe
IIre wIIIe IIe In bed, und even InvenL u gudgeL Lo wurm mv bed-IIke
LIe IeIIow suw In one oI LIe pIcLure muguzInes wIo mude IImseII u
gudgeL Lo wurm IIs sIoes! TIougI InvIsIbIe, um In LIe greuL AmerIcun
LrudILIon oI LInkers. TIuL mukes me kIn Lo ord, EdIson und runkIIn.
CuII me, sInce Iuve u LIeorv und u concepL, u "LIInker-LInker." Yes, 'II
wurm mv sIoes; LIev need IL, LIev're usuuIIv IuII oI IoIes. 'II do LIuL
und more.
Now Iuve one rudIo-pIonogrupI; pIun Lo Iuve IIve. TIere Is u
cerLuIn ucousLIcuI deudness In mv IoIe, und wIen Iuve musIc wunL
Lo IeeI ILs vIbruLIon, noL onIv wILI mv eur buL wILI mv wIoIe bodv. 'd
IIke Lo Ieur IIve recordIngs oI ouIs ArmsLrong pIuvIng und sIngIng
"WIuL DId Do Lo Be so BIuck und BIue"-uII uL LIe sume LIme.
SomeLImes now IIsLen Lo ouIs wIIIe Iuve mv IuvorILe desserL oI
vunIIIu Ice creum und sIoe gIn. pour LIe red IIquId over LIe wIILe
mound, wuLcIIng IL gIIsLen und LIe vupor rIsIng us ouIs bends LIuL
mIIILurv InsLrumenL InLo u beum oI IvrIcuI sound. PerIups IIke ouIs
ArmsLrong becuuse Ie's mude poeLrv ouL oI beIng InvIsIbIe. LIInk IL
musL be becuuse Ie's unuwure LIuL Ie Is InvIsIbIe. And mv own grusp oI
InvIsIbIIILv uIds me Lo undersLund IIs musIc. Once wIen usked Ior u
cIgureLLe, some jokers guve me u reeIer, wIIcI IIgILed wIen goL
Iome und suL IIsLenIng Lo mv pIonogrupI. L wus u sLrunge evenIng.
nvIsIbIIILv, IeL me expIuIn, gIves one u sIIgILIv dIIIerenL sense oI LIme,
vou're never quILe on LIe beuL. SomeLImes vou're uIeud und someLImes
beIInd. nsLeud oI LIe swIIL und ImpercepLIbIe IIowIng oI LIme, vou ure
uwure oI ILs nodes, LIose poInLs wIere LIme sLunds sLIII or Irom wIIcI IL
Ieups uIeud. And vou sIIp InLo LIe breuks und Iook uround. TIuL's wIuL
vou Ieur vugueIv In ouIs' musIc.
Once suw u prIzeIIgILer boxIng u vokeI. TIe IIgILer wus swIIL und
umuzIngIv scIenLIIIc. HIs bodv wus one vIoIenL IIow oI rupId rIvLImIc
ucLIon. He IIL LIe vokeI u Iundred LImes wIIIe LIe vokeI IeId up IIs
urms In sLunned surprIse. BuL suddenIv LIe vokeI, roIIIng ubouL In LIe
guIe oI boxIng gIoves, sLruck one bIow und knocked scIence, speed und
IooLwork us coId us u weII-dIgger's posLerIor. TIe smurL monev IIL LIe
cunvus. TIe Iong sIoL goL LIe nod. TIe vokeI Iud sImpIv sLepped InsIde
oI IIs opponenL's sense oI LIme. So under LIe speII oI LIe reeIer
dIscovered u new unuIvLIcuI wuv oI IIsLenIng Lo musIc. TIe unIeurd
sounds cume LIrougI, und eucI meIodIc IIne exIsLed oI ILseII, sLood ouL
cIeurIv Irom uII LIe resL, suId ILs pIece, und wuILed puLIenLIv Ior LIe
oLIer voIces Lo speuk. TIuL nIgIL Iound mvseII IeurIng noL onIv In
LIme, buL In spuce us weII. noL onIv enLered LIe musIc buL descended,
IIke DunLe, InLo ILs depLIs. And beneuLI LIe swIILness oI LIe IoL Lempo
LIere wus u sIower Lempo und u cuve und enLered IL und Iooked
Fleeing
by way
of
drugs
uround und Ieurd un oId womun sIngIng u spIrILuuI us IuII oI
WeILscImerz us IIumenco, und beneuLI LIuL Iuv u sLIII Iower IeveI on
wIIcI suw u beuuLIIuI gIrI LIe coIor oI Ivorv pIeudIng In u voIce IIke mv
moLIer's us sIe sLood beIore u group oI sIuve owners wIo bId Ior Ier
nuked bodv, und beIow LIuL Iound u Iower IeveI und u more rupId
Lempo und Ieurd someone sIouL:
"BroLIers und sIsLers, mv LexL LIIs mornIng Is LIe 'BIuckness oI
BIuckness.' "
And u congreguLIon oI voIces unswered: "TIuL bIuckness Is mosL
bIuck, broLIer, mosL bIuck . . ."
"n LIe begInnIng . . ."
"AL LIe verv sLurL," LIev crIed.
". . . LIere wus bIuckness . . ."
"PreucI IL . . ."
". . . und LIe sun . . ."
"TIe sun, uwd . . ."
". . . wus bIoodv red . . ."
"Red . . ."
"Now bIuck Is . . ." LIe preucIer sIouLed.
"BIoodv . . ."
" suId bIuck Is . . ."
"PreucI IL, broLIer . . ."
". . . un' bIuck uIn'L . . "
"Red, uwd, red: He suId IL's red!"
"Amen, broLIer . . ."
"BIuck wIII gIL vou . . ."
"Yes, IL wIII . . ."
". . . un' bIuck won'L . . ."
"Nuw, IL won'L!"
"L do . . ."
"L do, uwd . . ."
". . . un' IL don'L."
"HuIIeIuIuI . . ."
". . . L'II puL vou, gIorv, gIorv, OI mv uwd, In LIe WHAE'S
BEY."
"PreucI IL, deur broLIer . . ."
". . . un' muke vou LempL . . ."
"Good God u-mIgILv!"
"OId AunL NeIIv!"
"BIuck wIII muke vou . . ."
"BIuck . . ."
". . . or bIuck wIII un-muke vou."
"AIn'L IL LIe LruLI, uwd?"
And uL LIuL poInL u voIce oI Lrombone LImbre screumed uL me, "GIL
ouL oI, Iere, vou IooI! s vou reudv Lo commIL Lreuson?"
And Lore mvseII uwuv, IeurIng LIe oId sInger oI spIrILuuIs
mounIng, "Go curse vour God, bov, und dIe."
sLopped und quesLIoned Ier, usked Ier wIuL wus wrong.
" deurIv Ioved mv musLer, son," sIe suId.
"You sIouId Iuve IuLed IIm," suId.
"He guve me severuI sons," sIe suId, "und becuuse Ioved mv sons
Ieurned Lo Iove LIeIr IuLIer LIougI IuLed IIm Loo."
" Loo Iuve become ucquuInLed wILI umbIvuIence," suId. "TIuL's
wIv 'm Iere."
"WIuL's LIuL?"
"NoLIIng, u word LIuL doesn'L expIuIn IL. WIv do vou moun?"
" moun LIIs wuv 'cuuse Ie's deud," sIe suId.
"TIen LeII me, wIo Is LIuL IuugIIng upsLuIrs?"
"TIem's mv sons. TIev gIud."
"Yes, cun undersLund LIuL Loo," suId.
" IuugIs Loo, buL mouns Loo. He promIsed Lo seL us Iree buL Ie
never couId brIng IIsseII Lo do IL. SLIII Ioved IIm . . ."
"oved IIm? You meun . . ."
"OI ves, buL 1 Ioved someLIIng eIse even more."
"WIuL more?"
"reedom."
"reedom," suId. "Muvbe Ireedom IIes In IuLIng."
"Nuw, son, IL's In IovIng. Ioved IIm und gIve IIm LIe poIson und
Ie wILIered uwuv IIke u IrosL-bIL uppIe. TIem bovs wouIdu Lore IIm Lo
pIeces wILI LIev Iomemuke knIves."
"A mIsLuke wus mude somewIere," suId, "'m conIused." And
wIsIed Lo suv oLIer LIIngs, buL LIe IuugILer upsLuIrs becume Loo Ioud
und moun-IIke Ior me und LrIed Lo breuk ouL oI IL, buL couIdn'L. JusL
us wus IeuvIng IeIL un urgenL desIre Lo usk Ier wIuL Ireedom wus und
wenL buck. SIe suL wILI Ier Ieud In Ier Iunds, mounIng soILIv; Ier
IeuLIer-brown Iuce wus IIIIed wILI sudness.
"OId womun, wIuL Is LIIs Ireedom vou Iove so weII?" usked
uround u corner oI mv mInd.
SIe Iooked surprIsed, LIen LIougILIuI, LIen buIIIed. " done
IorgoL, son. L's uII mIxed up. IrsL LIInk IL's one LIIng, LIen LIInk IL's
unoLIer. L gILs mv Ieud Lo spInnIng. guess now IL uIn'L noLIIng buL
knowIng Iow Lo suv wIuL goL up In mv Ieud. BuL IL's u Iurd job, son.
Too mucI Is done Iuppen Lo me In Loo sIorL u LIme. HIL's IIke Iuve u
Iever. Ever' LIme sLurLs Lo wuIk mv Ieud gILs Lo swIrIIng und IuIIs
down. Or II IL uIn'L LIuL, IL's LIe bovs; LIev gILs Lo IuugIIng und wunLs Lo
kIII up LIe wIILe IoIks. TIev's bILLer, LIuL's wIuL LIev Is . . ."
"BuL wIuL ubouL Ireedom?"
"euve me 'Ione, bov; mv Ieud ucIes!"
IeIL Ier, IeeIIng dIzzv mvseII. dIdn'L geL Iur.
SuddenIv one oI LIe sons, u bIg IeIIow sIx IeeL LuII, uppeured ouL oI
nowIere und sLruck me wILI IIs IIsL.
"WIuL's LIe muLLer, mun?" crIed.
"You mude Mu crv!"
"BuL Iow?" suId, dodgIng u bIow.
"AskIn' Ier LIem quesLIons, LIuL's Iow. GIL ouLu Iere und sLuv,
und nexL LIme vou goL quesLIons IIke LIuL, usk vourseII!"
He IeId me In u grIp IIke coId sLone, IIs IIngers IusLenIng upon mv
wIndpIpe unLII LIougIL wouId suIIocuLe beIore Ie IInuIIv uIIowed me
Lo go. sLumbIed ubouL duzed, LIe musIc beuLIng IvsLerIcuIIv In mv
eurs. L wus durk. Mv Ieud cIeured und wundered down u durk nurrow
pussuge, LIInkIng Ieurd IIs IooLsLeps IurrvIng beIInd me. wus sore,
und InLo mv beIng Iud come u proIound cruvIng Ior LrunquIIIILv, Ior
peuce und quIeL, u sLuLe IeIL couId never ucIIeve. or one LIIng, LIe
LrumpeL wus bIurIng und LIe rIvLIm wus Loo IecLIc. A LomLom beuLIng
IIke IeurL-LIuds begun drownIng ouL LIe LrumpeL, IIIIIng mv eurs.
Ionged Ior wuLer und Ieurd IL rusIIng LIrougI LIe coId muIns mv
IIngers LoucIed us IeIL mv wuv, buL couIdn'L sLop Lo seurcI becuuse
oI LIe IooLsLeps beIInd me.
"Hev, Rus," cuIIed. "s IL vou, DesLrover? RIneIurL?"
No unswer, onIv LIe rIvLImIc IooLsLeps beIInd me. Once LrIed
crossIng LIe roud, buL u speedIng mucIIne sLruck me, scrupIng LIe skIn
Irom mv Ieg us IL roured pusL.
TIen someIow cume ouL oI IL, uscendIng IusLIIv Irom LIIs
underworId oI sound Lo Ieur ouIs ArmsLrong InnocenLIv uskIng,
WIuL dId do
To be so bIuck
And bIue?
AL IIrsL wus uIruId; LIIs IumIIIur musIc Iud demunded ucLIon, LIe
kInd oI wIIcI wus IncupubIe, und veL Iud IIngered LIere beneuLI LIe
surIuce mIgIL Iuve uLLempLed Lo ucL. NeverLIeIess, know now LIuL
Iew reuIIv IIsLen Lo LIIs musIc. suL on LIe cIuIr's edge In u soukIng
sweuL, us LIougI eucI oI mv 1,6 buIbs Iud evervone become u kIIeg
IIgIL In un IndIvIduuI seLLIng Ior u LIIrd degree wILI Rus und RIneIurL
In cIurge. L wus exIuusLIng-us LIougI Iud IeId mv breuLI
conLInuousIv Ior un Iour under LIe LerrIIvIng serenILv LIuL comes Irom
duvs oI InLense Iunger. And veL, IL wus u sLrungeIv suLIsIvIng experIence
Ior un InvIsIbIe mun Lo Ieur LIe sIIence oI sound. Iud dIscovered
unrecognIzed compuIsIons oI mv beIng-even LIougI couId noL
unswer "ves" Lo LIeIr prompLIngs. Iuven'L smoked u reeIer sInce,
Iowever; noL becuuse LIev're IIIeguI, buL becuuse Lo see uround corners
Is enougI (LIuL Is noL unusuuI wIen vou ure InvIsIbIe). BuL Lo Ieur
uround LIem Is Loo mucI; IL InIIbILs ucLIon. And despILe BroLIer Juck
und uII LIuL sud, IosL perIod oI LIe BroLIerIood, beIIeve In noLIIng II
noL In ucLIon.
PIeuse, u deIInILIon: A IIbernuLIon Is u coverL prepuruLIon Ior u
more overL ucLIon.
BesIdes, LIe drug desLrovs one's sense oI LIme compIeLeIv. I LIuL
Iuppened, mIgIL IorgeL Lo dodge some brIgIL mornIng und some
cIuck wouId run me down wILI un orunge und veIIow sLreeL cur, or u
bIIIous bus! Or mIgIL IorgeL Lo Ieuve mv IoIe wIen LIe momenL Ior
ucLIon presenLs ILseII.
MeunwIIIe enjov mv IIIe wILI LIe compIImenLs oI MonopoIuLed
IgIL & Power. SInce vou never recognIze me even wIen In cIosesL
conLucL wILI me, und sInce, no doubL, vou'II IurdIv beIIeve LIuL exIsL,
IL won'L muLLer II vou know LIuL Lupped u power IIne IeudIng InLo LIe
buIIdIng und run IL InLo mv IoIe In LIe ground. BeIore LIuL IIved In LIe
durkness InLo wIIcI wus cIused, buL now see. 've IIIumInuLed LIe
bIuckness oI mv InvIsIbIIILv-und vIce versu. And so pIuv LIe InvIsIbIe
musIc oI mv IsoIuLIon. TIe IusL sLuLemenL doesn'L seem jusL rIgIL, does
IL? BuL IL Is; vou Ieur LIIs musIc sImpIv becuuse musIc Is Ieurd und
seIdom seen, excepL bv musIcIuns. CouId LIIs compuIsIon Lo puL
InvIsIbIIILv down In bIuck und wIILe be LIus un urge Lo muke musIc oI
InvIsIbIIILv? BuL um un oruLor, u rubbIe rouser-Am? wus, und
perIups sIuII be uguIn. WIo knows? AII sIckness Is noL unLo deuLI,
neILIer Is InvIsIbIIILv.
cun Ieur vou suv, "WIuL u IorrIbIe, IrresponsIbIe busLurd!" And
vou're rIgIL. Ieup Lo ugree wILI vou. um one oI LIe mosL IrresponsIbIe
beIngs LIuL ever IIved. rresponsIbIIILv Is purL oI mv InvIsIbIIILv; unv wuv
vou Iuce IL, IL Is u denIuI. BuL Lo wIom cun be responsIbIe, und wIv
sIouId be, wIen vou reIuse Lo see me? And wuIL unLII reveuI Iow
LruIv IrresponsIbIe um. ResponsIbIIILv resLs upon recognILIon, und
recognILIon Is u Iorm oI ugreemenL. Tuke LIe mun wIom uImosL
kIIIed: WIo wus responsIbIe Ior LIuL neur murder-? don'L LIInk so,
und reIuse IL. won'L buv IL. You cun'L gIve IL Lo me. He bumped me,
Ie InsuILed me. SIouIdn'L Ie, Ior IIs own personuI suIeLv, Iuve
recognIzed mv IvsLerIu, mv "dunger poLenLIuI"? He, IeL us suv, wus IosL
In u dreum worId. BuL dIdn'L Ie conLroI LIuL dreum worId-wIIcI, uIus,
Is onIv Loo reuI!-und dIdn'L Ie ruIe me ouL oI IL? And II Ie Iud veIIed
Ior u poIIcemun, wouIdn'L Iuve been Luken Ior LIe oIIendIng one? Yes,
ves, ves! eL me ugree wILI vou, wus LIe IrresponsIbIe one; Ior
sIouId Iuve used mv knIIe Lo proLecL LIe IIgIer InLeresLs oI socIeLv.
Some duv LIuL kInd oI IooIIsIness wIII cuuse us LrugIc LroubIe. AII
dreumers und sIeepwuIkers musL puv LIe prIce, und even LIe InvIsIbIe
vIcLIm Is responsIbIe Ior LIe IuLe oI uII. BuL sIIrked LIuL responsIbIIILv;
becume Loo snurIed In LIe IncompuLIbIe noLIons LIuL buzzed wILIIn
mv bruIn. wus u cowurd . . .
BuL wIuL dId do Lo be so bIue? Beur wILI me.
CIupLer 1
L goes u Iong wuv buck, some LwenLv veurs. AII mv IIIe Iud been
IookIng Ior someLIIng, und evervwIere Lurned someone LrIed Lo LeII
me wIuL IL wus. uccepLed LIeIr unswers Loo, LIougI LIev were oILen In
conLrudIcLIon und even seII-conLrudIcLorv. wus nuve. wus IookIng
Ior mvseII und uskIng evervone excepL mvseII quesLIons wIIcI , und
onIv , couId unswer. L Look me u Iong LIme und mucI puInIuI
boomerungIng oI mv expecLuLIons Lo ucIIeve u reuIIzuLIon evervone eIse
uppeurs Lo Iuve been born wILI: TIuL um nobodv buL mvseII. BuL IIrsL
Iud Lo dIscover LIuL um un InvIsIbIe mun!
And veL um no Ireuk oI nuLure, nor oI IIsLorv. wus In LIe curds,
oLIer LIIngs IuvIng been equuI (or unequuI) eIgILv-IIve veurs ugo. um
noL usIumed oI mv grundpurenLs Ior IuvIng been sIuves. um onIv
usIumed oI mvseII Ior IuvIng uL one LIme been usIumed. AbouL eIgILv-
IIve veurs ugo LIev were LoId LIuL LIev were Iree, unILed wILI oLIers oI
our counLrv In evervLIIng perLuInIng Lo LIe common good, und, In
evervLIIng socIuI, sepuruLe IIke LIe IIngers oI LIe Iund. And LIev
beIIeved IL. TIev exuILed In IL. TIev sLuved In LIeIr pIuce, worked Iurd,
und brougIL up mv IuLIer Lo do LIe sume. BuL mv grundIuLIer Is LIe
one. He wus un odd oId guv, mv grundIuLIer, und um LoId Luke uILer
IIm. L wus Ie wIo cuused LIe LroubIe. On IIs deuLIbed Ie cuIIed mv
IuLIer Lo IIm und suId, "Son, uILer 'm gone wunL vou Lo keep up LIe
good IIgIL. never LoId vou, buL our IIIe Is u wur und Iuve been u
LruILor uII mv born duvs, u spv In LIe enemv's counLrv ever sInce gIve
up mv gun buck In LIe ReconsLrucLIon. Ive wILI vour Ieud In LIe IIon's
mouLI. wunL vou Lo overcome 'em wILI veses, undermIne 'em wILI
grIns, ugree 'em Lo deuLI und desLrucLIon, IeL 'em swoIIer vou LIII LIev
vomIL or busL wIde open." TIev LIougIL LIe oId mun Iud gone ouL oI
IIs mInd. He Iud been LIe meekesL oI men. TIe vounger cIIIdren were
rusIed Irom LIe room, LIe sIudes druwn und LIe IIume oI LIe Iump
Lurned so Iow LIuL IL spuLLered on LIe wIck IIke LIe oId mun's breuLIIng.
"eurn IL Lo LIe vounguns," Ie wIIspered IIerceIv; LIen Ie dIed.
BuL mv IoIks were more uIurmed over IIs IusL words LIun over IIs
dvIng. L wus us LIougI Ie Iud noL dIed uL uII, IIs words cuused so
mucI unxIeLv. wus wurned empIuLIcuIIv Lo IorgeL wIuL Ie Iud suId
und, Indeed, LIIs Is LIe IIrsL LIme IL Ius been menLIoned ouLsIde LIe
IumIIv cIrcIe. L Iud u Lremendous eIIecL upon me, Iowever. couId
never be sure oI wIuL Ie meunL. GrundIuLIer Iud been u quIeL oId mun
wIo never mude unv LroubIe, veL on IIs deuLIbed Ie Iud cuIIed IImseII
u LruILor und u spv, und Ie Iud spoken oI IIs meekness us u dungerous
ucLIvILv. L becume u consLunL puzzIe wIIcI Iuv ununswered In LIe buck
oI mv mInd. And wIenever LIIngs wenL weII Ior me remembered mv
grundIuLIer und IeIL guIILv und uncomIorLubIe. L wus us LIougI wus
currvIng ouL IIs udvIce In spILe oI mvseII. And Lo muke IL worse,
evervone Ioved me Ior IL. wus pruIsed bv LIe mosL IIIv-wIILe men oI
LIe Lown. wus consIdered un exumpIe oI desIrubIe conducL-jusL us mv
grundIuLIer Iud been. And wIuL puzzIed me wus LIuL LIe oId mun Iud
deIIned IL us LreucIerv. WIen wus pruIsed Ior mv conducL IeIL u guIIL
LIuL In some wuv wus doIng someLIIng LIuL wus reuIIv uguInsL LIe
wIsIes oI LIe wIILe IoIks, LIuL II LIev Iud undersLood LIev wouId Iuve
desIred me Lo ucL jusL LIe opposILe, LIuL sIouId Iuve been suIkv und
meun, und LIuL LIuL reuIIv wouId Iuve been wIuL LIev wunLed, even
LIougI LIev were IooIed und LIougIL LIev wunLed me Lo ucL us dId. L
mude me uIruId LIuL some duv LIev wouId Iook upon me us u LruILor
und wouId be IosL. SLIII wus more uIruId Lo ucL unv oLIer wuv becuuse
LIev dIdn'L IIke LIuL uL uII. TIe oId mun's words were IIke u curse. On
mv gruduuLIon duv deIIvered un oruLIon In wIIcI sIowed LIuL
IumIIILv wus LIe secreL, Indeed, LIe verv essence oI progress. (NoL LIuL
beIIeved LIIs-Iow couId , rememberIng mv grundIuLIer?- onIv
beIIeved LIuL IL worked.) L wus u greuL success. Evervone pruIsed me
und wus InvILed Lo gIve LIe speecI uL u guLIerIng oI LIe Lown's IeudIng
wIILe cILIzens. L wus u LrIumpI Ior our wIoIe communILv.
L wus In LIe muIn buIIroom oI LIe IeudIng IoLeI. WIen goL LIere
dIscovered LIuL IL wus on LIe occusIon oI u smoker, und wus LoId LIuL
sInce wus Lo be LIere unvwuv mIgIL us weII Luke purL In LIe buLLIe
rovuI Lo be IougIL bv some oI mv scIooImuLes us purL oI LIe
enLerLuInmenL. TIe buLLIe rovuI cume IIrsL.
AII oI LIe Lown's bIg sIoLs were LIere In LIeIr Luxedoes, woIIIng
down LIe buIIeL Ioods, drInkIng beer und wIIskev und smokIng bIuck
cIgurs. L wus u Iurge room wILI u IIgI ceIIIng. CIuIrs were urrunged In
neuL rows uround LIree sIdes oI u porLubIe boxIng rIng. TIe IourLI sIde
wus cIeur, reveuIIng u gIeumIng spuce oI poIIsIed IIoor. Iud some
mIsgIvIngs over LIe buLLIe rovuI, bv LIe wuv. NoL Irom u dIsLusLe Ior
IIgILIng, buL becuuse dIdn'L cure Loo mucI Ior LIe oLIer IeIIows wIo
were Lo Luke purL. TIev were LougI guvs wIo seemed Lo Iuve no
grundIuLIer's curse worrvIng LIeIr mInds. No one couId mIsLuke LIeIr
LougIness. And besIdes, suspecLed LIuL IIgILIng u buLLIe rovuI mIgIL
deLrucL Irom LIe dIgnILv oI mv speecI. n LIose pre-InvIsIbIe duvs
vIsuuIIzed mvseII us u poLenLIuI Booker T. WusIIngLon. BuL LIe oLIer
IeIIows dIdn'L cure Loo mucI Ior me eILIer, und LIere were nIne oI
LIem. IeIL superIor Lo LIem In mv wuv, und dIdn'L IIke LIe munner In
wIIcI we were uII crowded LogeLIer InLo LIe servunLs' eIevuLor. Nor dId
LIev IIke mv beIng LIere. n IucL, us LIe wurmIv IIgILed IIoors IIusIed
pusL LIe eIevuLor we Iud words over LIe IucL LIuL , bv LukIng purL In LIe
IIgIL, Iud knocked one oI LIeIr IrIends ouL oI u nIgIL's work.
We were Ied ouL oI LIe eIevuLor LIrougI u rococo IuII InLo un
unLeroom und LoId Lo geL InLo our IIgILIng Logs. EucI oI us wus Issued u
puIr oI boxIng gIoves und usIered ouL InLo LIe bIg mIrrored IuII, wIIcI
we enLered IookIng cuuLIousIv ubouL us und wIIsperIng, IesL we mIgIL
uccIdenLuIIv be Ieurd ubove LIe noIse oI LIe room. L wus Ioggv wILI
cIgur smoke. And uIreudv LIe wIIskev wus LukIng eIIecL. wus sIocked
Lo see some oI LIe mosL ImporLunL men oI LIe Lown quILe LIpsv. TIev
were uII LIere-bunkers, Iuwvers, judges, docLors, IIre cIIeIs, LeucIers,
mercIunLs. Even one oI LIe more IusIIonubIe pusLors. SomeLIIng we
couId noL see wus goIng on up IronL. A cIurIneL wus vIbruLIng
sensuousIv und LIe men were sLundIng up und movIng eugerIv Iorwurd.
We were u smuII LIgIL group, cIusLered LogeLIer, our bure upper bodIes
LoucIIng und sIInIng wILI unLIcIpuLorv sweuL; wIIIe up IronL LIe bIg
sIoLs were becomIng IncreusIngIv excILed over someLIIng we sLIII couId
noL see. SuddenIv Ieurd LIe scIooI superInLendenL, wIo Iud LoId me
Lo come, veII, "BrIng up LIe sIInes, genLIemen! BrIng up LIe IILLIe
sIInes!"
We were rusIed up Lo LIe IronL oI LIe buIIroom, wIere IL smeIIed
even more sLrongIv oI Lobucco und wIIskev. TIen we were pusIed InLo
pIuce. uImosL weL mv punLs. A seu oI Iuces, some IosLIIe, some
umused, rInged uround us, und In LIe cenLer, IucIng us, sLood u
mugnIIIcenL bIonde-sLurk nuked. TIere wus deud sIIence. IeIL u bIusL
oI coId uIr cIIII me. LrIed Lo buck uwuv, buL LIev were beIInd me und
uround me. Some oI LIe bovs sLood wILI Iowered Ieuds, LrembIIng.
IeIL u wuve oI IrruLIonuI guIIL und Ieur. Mv LeeLI cIuLLered, mv skIn
Lurned Lo goose IIesI, mv knees knocked. YeL wus sLrongIv uLLrucLed
und Iooked In spILe oI mvseII. Hud LIe prIce oI IookIng been bIIndness,
wouId Iuve Iooked. TIe IuIr wus veIIow IIke LIuL oI u cIrcus kewpIe
doII, LIe Iuce IeuvIIv powdered und rouged, us LIougI Lo Iorm un
ubsLrucL musk, LIe eves IoIIow und smeured u cooI bIue, LIe coIor oI u
buboon's buLL. IeIL u desIre Lo spIL upon Ier us mv eves brusIed sIowIv
over Ier bodv. Her breusLs were IIrm und round us LIe domes oI EusL
ndIun LempIes, und sLood so cIose us Lo see LIe IIne skIn LexLure und
beuds oI peurIv perspIruLIon gIIsLenIng IIke dew uround LIe pInk und
erecLed buds oI Ier nIppIes. wunLed uL one und LIe sume LIme Lo run
Irom LIe room, Lo sInk LIrougI LIe IIoor, or go Lo Ier und cover Ier
Irom mv eves und LIe eves oI LIe oLIers wILI mv bodv; Lo IeeI LIe soIL
LIIgIs, Lo curess Ier und desLrov Ier, Lo Iove Ier und murder Ier, Lo
IIde Irom Ier, und veL Lo sLroke wIere beIow LIe smuII AmerIcun IIug
LuLLooed upon Ier beIIv Ier LIIgIs Iormed u cupILuI V. Iud u noLIon
LIuL oI uII In LIe room sIe suw onIv me wILI Ier ImpersonuI eves.
And LIen sIe begun Lo dunce, u sIow sensuous movemenL; LIe
smoke oI u Iundred cIgurs cIIngIng Lo Ier IIke LIe LIInnesL oI veIIs. SIe
seemed IIke u IuIr bIrd-gIrI gIrdIed In veIIs cuIIIng Lo me Irom LIe ungrv
surIuce oI some gruv und LIreuLenIng seu. wus LrunsporLed. TIen
becume uwure oI LIe cIurIneL pIuvIng und LIe bIg sIoLs veIIIng uL us.
Some LIreuLened us II we Iooked und oLIers II we dId noL. On mv rIgIL
suw one bov IuInL. And now u mun grubbed u sIIver pILcIer Irom u LubIe
und sLepped cIose us Ie dusIed Ice wuLer upon IIm und sLood IIm up
und Iorced Lwo oI us Lo supporL IIm us IIs Ieud Iung und mouns Issued
Irom IIs LIIck bIuIsI IIps. AnoLIer bov begun Lo pIeud Lo go Iome. He
wus LIe IurgesL oI LIe group, weurIng durk red IIgILIng Lrunks mucI Loo
smuII Lo conceuI LIe erecLIon wIIcI projecLed Irom IIm us LIougI In
unswer Lo LIe InsInuuLIng Iow-regIsLered mounIng oI LIe cIurIneL. He
LrIed Lo IIde IImseII wILI IIs boxIng gIoves.
And uII LIe wIIIe LIe bIonde conLInued duncIng, smIIIng IuInLIv uL
LIe bIg sIoLs wIo wuLcIed Ier wILI IuscInuLIon, und IuInLIv smIIIng uL
our Ieur. noLIced u cerLuIn mercIunL wIo IoIIowed Ier IungrIIv, IIs
IIps Ioose und drooIIng. He wus u Iurge mun wIo wore dIumond sLuds
In u sIIrLIronL wIIcI sweIIed wILI LIe umpIe puuncI underneuLI, und
eucI LIme LIe bIonde swuved Ier unduIuLIng IIps Ie run IIs Iund
LIrougI LIe LIIn IuIr oI IIs buId Ieud und, wILI IIs urms upIeId, IIs
posLure cIumsv IIke LIuL oI un InLoxIcuLed pundu, wound IIs beIIv In u
sIow und obscene grInd. TIIs creuLure wus compIeLeIv IvpnoLIzed. TIe
musIc Iud quIckened. As LIe duncer IIung IerseII ubouL wILI u
deLucIed expressIon on Ier Iuce, LIe men begun reucIIng ouL Lo LoucI
Ier. couId see LIeIr beeIv IIngers sInk InLo LIe soIL IIesI. Some oI LIe
oLIers LrIed Lo sLop LIem und sIe begun Lo move uround LIe IIoor In
gruceIuI cIrcIes, us LIev guve cIuse, sIIppIng und sIIdIng over LIe
poIIsIed IIoor. L wus mud. CIuIrs wenL crusIIng, drInks were spIIL, us
LIev run IuugIIng und IowIIng uILer Ier. TIev cuugIL Ier jusL us sIe
reucIed u door, ruIsed Ier Irom LIe IIoor, und Lossed Ier us coIIege
bovs ure Lossed uL u IuzIng, und ubove Ier red, IIxed-smIIIng IIps suw
LIe Lerror und dIsgusL In Ier eves, uImosL IIke mv own Lerror und LIuL
wIIcI suw In some oI LIe oLIer bovs. As wuLcIed, LIev Lossed Ier
LwIce und Ier soIL breusLs seemed Lo IIuLLen uguInsL LIe uIr und Ier Iegs
IIung wIIdIv us sIe spun. Some oI LIe more sober ones IeIped Ier Lo
escupe. And sLurLed oII LIe IIoor, IeudIng Ior LIe unLeroom wILI LIe
resL oI LIe bovs.
Some were sLIII crvIng und In IvsLerIu. BuL us we LrIed Lo Ieuve we
were sLopped und ordered Lo geL InLo LIe rIng. TIere wus noLIIng Lo do
buL wIuL we were LoId. AII Len oI us cIImbed under LIe ropes und
uIIowed ourseIves Lo be bIIndIoIded wILI broud bunds oI wIILe cIoLI.
One oI LIe men seemed Lo IeeI u bIL svmpuLIeLIc und LrIed Lo cIeer us
up us we sLood wILI our bucks uguInsL LIe ropes. Some oI us LrIed Lo
grIn. "See LIuL bov over LIere?" one oI LIe men suId. " wunL vou Lo run
ucross uL LIe beII und gIve IL Lo IIm rIgIL In LIe beIIv. I vou don'L geL
IIm, 'm goIng Lo geL vou. don'L IIke IIs Iooks." EucI oI us wus LoId LIe
sume. TIe bIIndIoIds were puL on. YeL even LIen Iud been goIng over
mv speecI. n mv mInd eucI word wus us brIgIL us IIume. IeIL LIe
cIoLI pressed InLo pIuce, und Irowned so LIuL IL wouId be Ioosened
wIen reIuxed.
BuL now IeIL u sudden IIL oI bIInd Lerror. wus unused Lo
durkness. L wus us LIougI Iud suddenIv Iound mvseII In u durk room
IIIIed wILI poIsonous coLLonmouLIs. couId Ieur LIe bIeurv voIces
veIIIng InsIsLenLIv Ior LIe buLLIe rovuI Lo begIn.
"GeL goIng In LIere!"
"eL me uL LIuL bIg nIgger!"
sLruIned Lo pIck up LIe scIooI superInLendenL's voIce, us LIougI
Lo squeeze some securILv ouL oI LIuL sIIgILIv more IumIIIur sound.
"eL me uL LIose bIuck sonsubILcIes!" someone veIIed.
"No, Juckson, no!" unoLIer voIce veIIed. "Here, somebodv, IeIp
me IoId Juck."
" wunL Lo geL uL LIuL gInger-coIored nIgger. Teur IIm IImb Irom
IImb," LIe IIrsL voIce veIIed.
sLood uguInsL LIe ropes LrembIIng. or In LIose duvs wus wIuL
LIev cuIIed gInger-coIored, und Ie sounded us LIougI Ie mIgIL cruncI
me beLween IIs LeeLI IIke u crIsp gInger cookIe.
QuILe u sLruggIe wus goIng on. CIuIrs were beIng kIcked ubouL und
couId Ieur voIces grunLIng us wILI u LerrIIIc eIIorL. wunLed Lo see, Lo
see more desperuLeIv LIun ever beIore. BuL LIe bIIndIoId wus us LIgIL us
u LIIck skIn-puckerIng scub und wIen ruIsed mv gIoved Iunds Lo pusI
LIe Iuvers oI wIILe usIde u voIce veIIed, "OI, no vou don'L, bIuck
busLurd! euve LIuL uIone!"
"RIng LIe beII beIore Juckson kIIIs IIm u coon!" someone boomed
In LIe sudden sIIence. And Ieurd LIe beII cIung und LIe sound oI LIe
IeeL scuIIIIng Iorwurd.
A gIove smucked uguInsL mv Ieud. pIvoLed, sLrIkIng ouL sLIIIIv us
someone wenL pusL, und IeIL LIe jur rIppIe uIong LIe IengLI oI mv urm Lo
mv sIouIder. TIen IL seemed us LIougI uII nIne oI LIe bovs Iud Lurned
upon me uL once. BIows pounded me Irom uII sIdes wIIIe sLruck ouL us
besL couId. So munv bIows Iunded upon me LIuL wondered II were
noL LIe onIv bIIndIoIded IIgILer In LIe rIng, or II LIe mun cuIIed Juckson
Iudn'L succeeded In geLLIng me uILer uII.
BIIndIoIded, couId no Ionger conLroI mv moLIons. Iud no
dIgnILv. sLumbIed ubouL IIke u bubv or u drunken mun. TIe smoke Iud
become LIIcker und wILI eucI new bIow IL seemed Lo seur und IurLIer
resLrIcL mv Iungs. Mv suIIvu becume IIke IoL bILLer gIue. A gIove
connecLed wILI mv Ieud, IIIIIng mv mouLI wILI wurm bIood. L wus
evervwIere. couId noL LeII II LIe moIsLure IeIL upon mv bodv wus
sweuL or bIood. A bIow Iunded Iurd uguInsL LIe nupe oI mv neck. IeIL
mvseII goIng over, mv Ieud IILLIng LIe IIoor. SLreuks oI bIue IIgIL IIIIed
LIe bIuck worId beIInd LIe bIIndIoId. Iuv prone, preLendIng LIuL wus
knocked ouL, buL IeIL mvseII seIzed bv Iunds und vunked Lo mv IeeL.
"GeL goIng, bIuck bov! MIx IL up!" Mv urms were IIke Ieud, mv Ieud
smurLIng Irom bIows. munuged Lo IeeI mv wuv Lo LIe ropes und IeId
on, LrvIng Lo cuLcI mv breuLI. A gIove Iunded In mv mId-secLIon und
wenL over uguIn, IeeIIng us LIougI LIe smoke Iud become u knIIe
jubbed InLo mv guLs. PusIed LIIs wuv und LIuL bv LIe Iegs mIIIIng
uround me, IInuIIv puIIed erecL und dIscovered LIuL couId see LIe
bIuck, sweuL-wusIed Iorms weuvIng In LIe smokv-bIue uLmospIere IIke
drunken duncers weuvIng Lo LIe rupId drum-IIke LIuds oI bIows.
Evervone IougIL IvsLerIcuIIv. L wus compIeLe unurcIv. Evervbodv
IougIL evervbodv eIse. No group IougIL LogeLIer Ior Iong. Two, LIree,
Iour, IougIL one, LIen Lurned Lo IIgIL eucI oLIer, were LIemseIves
uLLucked. BIows Iunded beIow LIe beIL und In LIe kIdnev, wILI LIe
gIoves open us weII us cIosed, und wILI mv eve purLIv opened now LIere
wus noL so mucI Lerror. moved cureIuIIv, uvoIdIng bIows, uILIougI
noL Loo munv Lo uLLrucL uLLenLIon, IIgILIng Irom group Lo group. TIe
bovs groped ubouL IIke bIInd, cuuLIous crubs croucIIng Lo proLecL LIeIr
mId-secLIons, LIeIr Ieuds puIIed In sIorL uguInsL LIeIr sIouIders, LIeIr
urms sLreLcIed nervousIv beIore LIem, wILI LIeIr IIsLs LesLIng LIe
smoke-IIIIed uIr IIke LIe knobbed IeeIers oI IvpersensILIve snuIIs. n
one corner gIImpsed u bov vIoIenLIv puncIIng LIe uIr und Ieurd IIm
screum In puIn us Ie smusIed IIs Iund uguInsL u rIng posL. or u
second suw IIm benL over IoIdIng IIs Iund, LIen goIng down us u
bIow cuugIL IIs unproLecLed Ieud. pIuved one group uguInsL LIe
oLIer, sIIppIng In und LIrowIng u puncI LIen sLeppIng ouL oI runge
wIIIe pusIIng LIe oLIers InLo LIe meIee Lo Luke LIe bIows bIIndIv uImed
uL me. TIe smoke wus ugonIzIng und LIere were no rounds, no beIIs uL
LIree mInuLe InLervuIs Lo reIIeve our exIuusLIon. TIe room spun round
me, u swIrI oI IIgILs, smoke, sweuLIng bodIes surrounded bv Lense wIILe
Iuces. bIed Irom boLI nose und mouLI, LIe bIood spuLLerIng upon mv
cIesL.
TIe men kepL veIIIng, "SIug IIm, bIuck bov! Knock IIs guLs ouL!"
"UppercuL IIm! KIII IIm! KIII LIuL bIg bov!"
TukIng u Iuke IuII, suw u bov goIng down IeuvIIv besIde me us
LIougI we were IeIIed bv u sIngIe bIow, suw u sneuker-cIud IooL sIooL
InLo IIs groIn us LIe Lwo wIo Iud knocked IIm down sLumbIed upon
IIm. roIIed ouL oI runge, IeeIIng u LwInge oI nuuseu.
TIe Iurder we IougIL LIe more LIreuLenIng LIe men becume. And
veL, Iud begun Lo worrv ubouL mv speecI uguIn. How wouId IL go?
WouId LIev recognIze mv ubIIILv? WIuL wouId LIev gIve me?
wus IIgILIng uuLomuLIcuIIv wIen suddenIv noLIced LIuL one
uILer unoLIer oI LIe bovs wus IeuvIng LIe rIng. wus surprIsed, IIIIed
wILI punIc, us LIougI Iud been IeIL uIone wILI un unknown dunger.
TIen undersLood. TIe bovs Iud urrunged IL umong LIemseIves. L wus
LIe cusLom Ior LIe Lwo men IeIL In LIe rIng Lo sIug IL ouL Ior LIe
wInner's prIze. dIscovered LIIs Loo IuLe. WIen LIe beII sounded Lwo
men In Luxedoes Ieuped InLo LIe rIng und removed LIe bIIndIoId.
Iound mvseII IucIng TuLIock, LIe bIggesL oI LIe gung. IeIL sIck uL mv
sLomucI. HurdIv Iud LIe beII sLopped rIngIng In mv eurs LIun IL
cIunged uguIn und suw IIm movIng swIILIv Lowurd me. TIInkIng oI
noLIIng eIse Lo do IIL IIm smusI on LIe nose. He kepL comIng,
brIngIng LIe runk sIurp vIoIence oI sLuIe sweuL. HIs Iuce wus u bIuck
bIunk oI u Iuce, onIv IIs eves uIIve-wILI IuLe oI me und ugIow wILI u
IeverIsI Lerror Irom wIuL Iud Iuppened Lo us uII. becume unxIous.
wunLed Lo deIIver mv speecI und Ie cume uL me us LIougI Ie meunL Lo
beuL IL ouL oI me. smusIed IIm uguIn und uguIn, LukIng IIs bIows us
LIev cume. TIen on u sudden ImpuIse sLruck IIm IIgILIv und us we
cIIncIed, wIIspered, "uke IIke knocked vou ouL, vou cun Iuve LIe
prIze."
"'II breuk vour beIInd," Ie wIIspered IourseIv.
"or LIem?"
"or me, sonoIubILcI!"
TIev were veIIIng Ior us Lo breuk IL up und TuLIock spun me IuII
uround wILI u bIow, und us u joggIed cumeru sweeps In u reeIIng scene,
suw LIe IowIIng red Iuces croucIIng Lense beneuLI LIe cIoud oI bIue-
gruv smoke. or u momenL LIe worId wuvered, unruveIed, IIowed, LIen
mv Ieud cIeured und TuLIock bounced beIore me. TIuL IIuLLerIng
sIudow beIore mv eves wus IIs jubbIng IeIL Iund. TIen IuIIIng Iorwurd,
mv Ieud uguInsL IIs dump sIouIder, wIIspered,
"'II muke IL IIve doIIurs more."
"Go Lo IeII!"
BuL IIs muscIes reIuxed u LrIIIe beneuLI mv pressure und
breuLIed, "Seven?"
"GIve IL Lo vour mu," Ie suId, rIppIng me beneuLI LIe IeurL.
And wIIIe sLIII IeId IIm buLLed IIm und moved uwuv. IeIL
mvseII bomburded wILI puncIes. IougIL buck wILI IopeIess
desperuLIon. wunLed Lo deIIver mv speecI more LIun unvLIIng eIse In
LIe worId, IeIL LIuL onIv LIese men couId judge LruIv mv ubIIILv, und
now LIIs sLupId cIown wus ruInIng mv cIunces. begun IIgILIng
cureIuIIv now, movIng In Lo puncI IIm und ouL uguIn wILI mv greuLer
speed. A Iuckv bIow Lo IIs cIIn und Iud IIm goIng Loo-unLII Ieurd u
Ioud voIce veII, " goL mv monev on LIe bIg bov."
HeurIng LIIs, uImosL dropped mv guurd. wus conIused: SIouId
Lrv Lo wIn uguInsL LIe voIce ouL LIere? WouId noL LIIs go uguInsL mv
speecI, und wus noL LIIs u momenL Ior IumIIILv, Ior nonresIsLunce? A
bIow Lo mv Ieud us dunced ubouL senL mv rIgIL eve poppIng IIke u
juck-In-LIe-box und seLLIed mv dIIemmu. TIe room wenL red us IeII. L
wus u dreum IuII, mv bodv IunguId und IusLIdIous us Lo wIere Lo Iund,
unLII LIe IIoor becume ImpuLIenL und smusIed up Lo meeL me. A
momenL IuLer cume Lo. An IvpnoLIc voIce suId VE empIuLIcuIIv.
And Iuv LIere, IuzIIv wuLcIIng u durk red spoL oI mv own bIood
sIupIng ILseII InLo u buLLerIIv, gIIsLenIng und soukIng InLo LIe soIIed
gruv worId oI LIe cunvus.
WIen LIe voIce druwIed TEN wus IIILed up und drugged Lo u
cIuIr. suL duzed. Mv eve puIned und sweIIed wILI eucI LIrob oI mv
poundIng IeurL und wondered II now wouId be uIIowed Lo speuk.
wus wrIngIng weL, mv mouLI sLIII bIeedIng. We were grouped uIong LIe
wuII now. TIe oLIer bovs Ignored me us LIev congruLuIuLed TuLIock und
specuIuLed us Lo Iow mucI LIev wouId be puId. One bov wIImpered
over IIs smusIed Iund. ookIng up IronL, suw uLLendunLs In wIILe
juckeLs roIIIng LIe porLubIe rIng uwuv und pIucIng u smuII squure rug In
LIe vucunL spuce surrounded bv cIuIrs. PerIups, LIougIL, wIII sLund
on LIe rug Lo deIIver mv speecI.
TIen LIe M.C. cuIIed Lo us, "Come on up Iere bovs und geL vour
monev."
We run Iorwurd Lo wIere LIe men IuugIed und LuIked In LIeIr
cIuIrs, wuILIng. Evervone seemed IrIendIv now.
"TIere IL Is on LIe rug," LIe mun suId. suw LIe rug covered wILI
coIns oI uII dImensIons und u Iew crumpIed bIIIs. BuL wIuL excILed me,
scuLLered Iere und LIere, were LIe goId pIeces.
"Bovs, IL's uII vours," LIe mun suId. "You geL uII vou grub."
"TIuL's rIgIL, Sumbo," u bIond mun suId, wInkIng uL me
conIIdenLIuIIv.
LrembIed wILI excILemenL, IorgeLLIng mv puIn. wouId geL LIe
goId und LIe bIIIs, LIougIL. wouId use boLI Iunds. wouId LIrow mv
bodv uguInsL LIe bovs neuresL me Lo bIock LIem Irom LIe goId.
"GeL down uround LIe rug now," LIe mun communded, "und don'L
unvone LoucI IL unLII gIve LIe sIgnuI."
"TIIs ougIL Lo be good," Ieurd.
As LoId, we goL uround LIe squure rug on our knees. SIowIv LIe
mun ruIsed IIs IreckIed Iund us we IoIIowed IL upwurd wILI our eves.
Ieurd, "TIese nIggers Iook IIke LIev're ubouL Lo pruv!"
TIen, "Reudv," LIe mun suId. "Go!"
Iunged Ior u veIIow coIn IvIng on LIe bIue desIgn oI LIe curpeL,
LoucIIng IL und sendIng u surprIsed sIrIek Lo joIn LIose rIsIng uround
me. LrIed IrunLIcuIIv Lo remove mv Iund buL couId noL IeL go. A IoL,
vIoIenL Iorce Lore LIrougI mv bodv, sIukIng me IIke u weL ruL. TIe rug
wus eIecLrIIIed. TIe IuIr brIsLIed up on mv Ieud us sIook mvseII Iree.
Mv muscIes jumped, mv nerves jungIed, wrILIed. BuL suw LIuL LIIs
wus noL sLoppIng LIe oLIer bovs. uugIIng In Ieur und emburrussmenL,
some were IoIdIng buck und scoopIng up LIe coIns knocked oII bv LIe
puInIuI conLorLIons oI LIe oLIers. TIe men roured ubove us us we
sLruggIed.
"PIck IL up, goddumnIL, pIck IL up!" someone cuIIed IIke u buss-
voIced purroL. "Go on, geL IL!"
cruwIed rupIdIv uround LIe IIoor, pIckIng up LIe coIns, LrvIng Lo
uvoId LIe coppers und Lo geL greenbucks und LIe goId. gnorIng LIe
sIock bv IuugIIng, us brusIed LIe coIns oII quIckIv, dIscovered LIuL
couId conLuIn LIe eIecLrIcILv-u conLrudIcLIon, buL IL works. TIen LIe
men begun Lo pusI us onLo LIe rug. uugIIng emburrussedIv, we
sLruggIed ouL oI LIeIr Iunds und kepL uILer LIe coIns. We were uII weL
und sIIpperv und Iurd Lo IoId. SuddenIv suw u bov IIILed InLo LIe uIr,
gIIsLenIng wILI sweuL IIke u cIrcus seuI, und dropped, IIs weL buck
IundIng IIusI upon LIe cIurged rug, Ieurd IIm veII und suw IIm
IILeruIIv dunce upon IIs buck, eIbows beuLIng u IrenzIed LuLLoo upon LIe
IIoor, IIs muscIes LwILcIIng IIke LIe IIesI oI u Iorse sLung mv munv
IIIes. WIen Ie IInuIIv roIIed oII, IIs Iuce wus gruv und no one sLopped
IIm wIen Ie run Irom LIe IIoor umId boomIng IuugILer.
"GeL LIe monev," LIe M.C. cuIIed. "TIuL's good Iurd AmerIcun
cusI!"
And we snuLcIed und grubbed, snuLcIed und grubbed. wus
cureIuI noL Lo come Loo cIose Lo LIe rug now, und wIen IeIL LIe IoL
wIIskev breuLI descend upon me IIke u cIoud oI IouI uIr reucIed ouL
und grubbed LIe Ieg oI u cIuIr. L wus occupIed und IeId on
desperuLeIv.
"eggo, nIgger! eggo!"
TIe Iuge Iuce wuvered down Lo mIne us Ie LrIed Lo pusI me Iree.
BuL mv bodv wus sIIpperv und Ie wus Loo drunk. L wus Mr. CoIcord,
wIo owned u cIuIn oI movIe Iouses und "enLerLuInmenL puIuces." EucI
LIme Ie grubbed me sIIpped ouL oI IIs Iunds. L becume u reuI
sLruggIe. Ieured LIe rug more LIun dId LIe drunk, so IeId on,
surprIsIng mvseII Ior u momenL bv LrvIng Lo LoppIe IIm upon LIe rug. L
wus sucI un enormous Ideu LIuL Iound mvseII ucLuuIIv currvIng IL ouL.
LrIed noL Lo be obvIous, veL wIen grubbed IIs Ieg, LrvIng Lo LumbIe
IIm ouL oI LIe cIuIr, Ie ruIsed up rourIng wILI IuugILer, und, IookIng uL
me wILI soberness deud In LIe eve, kIcked me vIcIousIv In LIe cIesL.
TIe cIuIr Ieg IIew ouL oI mv Iund und IeIL mvseII goIng und roIIed. L
wus us LIougI Iud roIIed LIrougI u bed oI IoL couIs. L seemed u
wIoIe cenLurv wouId puss beIore wouId roII Iree, u cenLurv In wIIcI
wus seured LIrougI LIe deepesL IeveIs oI mv bodv Lo LIe IeurIuI breuLI
wILIIn me und LIe breuLI seured und IeuLed Lo LIe poInL oI expIosIon.
L'II uII be over In u IIusI, LIougIL us roIIed cIeur. L'II uII be over In u
IIusI.
BuL noL veL, LIe men on LIe oLIer sIde were wuILIng, red Iuces
swoIIen us LIougI Irom upopIexv us LIev benL Iorwurd In LIeIr cIuIrs.
SeeIng LIeIr IIngers comIng Lowurd me roIIed uwuv us u IumbIed
IooLbuII roIIs oII LIe receIver's IIngerLIps, buck InLo LIe couIs. TIuL LIme
IuckIIv senL LIe rug sIIdIng ouL oI pIuce und Ieurd LIe coIns rIngIng
uguInsL LIe IIoor und LIe bovs scuIIIIng Lo pIck LIem up und LIe M.C.
cuIIIng, "AII rIgIL, bovs, LIuL's uII. Go geL dressed und geL vour monev."
wus IImp us u dIsI rug. Mv buck IeIL us LIougI IL Iud been beuLen
wILI wIres.
WIen we Iud dressed LIe M.C. cume In und guve us eucI IIve
doIIurs, excepL TuLIock, wIo goL Len Ior beIng IusL In LIe rIng. TIen Ie
LoId us Lo Ieuve. wus noL Lo geL u cIunce Lo deIIver mv speecI,
LIougIL. wus goIng ouL InLo LIe dIm uIIev In despuIr wIen wus
sLopped und LoId Lo go buck. reLurned Lo LIe buIIroom, wIere LIe men
were pusIIng buck LIeIr cIuIrs und guLIerIng In groups Lo LuIk.
TIe M.C. knocked on u LubIe Ior quIeL. "GenLIemen," Ie suId, "we
uImosL IorgoL un ImporLunL purL oI LIe progrum. A mosL serIous purL,
genLIemen. TIIs bov wus brougIL Iere Lo deIIver u speecI wIIcI Ie
mude uL IIs gruduuLIon vesLerduv . . ."
"Bruvo!"
"'m LoId LIuL Ie Is LIe smurLesL bov we've goL ouL LIere In
Greenwood. 'm LoId LIuL Ie knows more bIg words LIun u pockeL-sIzed
dIcLIonurv."
MucI uppIuuse und IuugILer.
"So now, genLIemen, wunL vou Lo gIve IIm vour uLLenLIon."
TIere wus sLIII IuugILer us Iuced LIem, mv mouLI drv, mv eve
LIrobbIng. begun sIowIv, buL evIdenLIv mv LIrouL wus Lense, becuuse
LIev begun sIouLIng, "ouder! ouder!"
"We oI LIe vounger generuLIon exLoI LIe wIsdom oI LIuL greuL
Ieuder und educuLor," sIouLed, "wIo IIrsL spoke LIese IIumIng words
oI wIsdom: 'A sIIp IosL uL seu Ior munv duvs suddenIv sIgILed u IrIendIv
vesseI. rom LIe musL oI LIe unIorLunuLe vesseI wus seen u sIgnuI:
"WuLer, wuLer; we dIe oI LIIrsL!" TIe unswer Irom LIe IrIendIv vesseI
cume buck: "CusL down vour buckeL wIere vou ure." TIe cupLuIn oI LIe
dIsLressed vesseI, uL IusL IeedIng LIe InjuncLIon, cusL down IIs buckeL,
und IL cume up IuII oI IresI spurkIIng wuLer Irom LIe mouLI oI LIe
Amuzon RIver.' And IIke IIm suv, und In IIs words, 'To LIose oI mv
ruce wIo depend upon beLLerIng LIeIr condILIon In u IoreIgn Iund, or
wIo underesLImuLe LIe ImporLunce oI cuILIvuLIng IrIendIv reIuLIons
wILI LIe SouLIern wIILe mun, wIo Is IIs nexL-door neIgIbor, wouId
suv: "CusL down vour buckeL wIere vou ure"-cusL IL down In mukIng
IrIends In everv munIv wuv oI LIe peopIe oI uII ruces bv wIom we ure
surrounded . . .' "
spoke uuLomuLIcuIIv und wILI sucI Iervor LIuL dId noL reuIIze
LIuL LIe men were sLIII LuIkIng und IuugIIng unLII mv drv mouLI, IIIIIng
up wILI bIood Irom LIe cuL, uImosL sLrungIed me. cougIed, wunLIng Lo
sLop und go Lo one oI LIe LuII bruss, sund-IIIIed spILLoons Lo reIIeve
mvseII, buL u Iew oI LIe men, especIuIIv LIe superInLendenL, were
IIsLenIng und wus uIruId. So guIped IL down, bIood, suIIvu und uII,
und conLInued. (WIuL powers oI endurunce Iud durIng LIose duvs!
WIuL enLIusIusm! WIuL u beIIeI In LIe rIgILness oI LIIngs!) spoke
even Iouder In spILe oI LIe puIn. BuL sLIII LIev LuIked und sLIII LIev
IuugIed, us LIougI deuI wILI coLLon In dIrLv eurs. So spoke wILI
greuLer emoLIonuI empIusIs. cIosed mv eurs und swuIIowed bIood
unLII wus nuuseuLed. TIe speecI seemed u Iundred LImes us Iong us
beIore, buL couId noL Ieuve ouL u sIngIe word. AII Iud Lo be suId, eucI
memorIzed nuunce consIdered, rendered. Nor wus LIuL uII. WIenever
uLLered u word oI LIree or more svIIubIes u group oI voIces wouId veII
Ior me Lo repeuL IL. used LIe pIruse "socIuI responsIbIIILv" und LIev
veIIed:
"WIuL's LIuL word vou suv, bov?"
"SocIuI responsIbIIILv," suId.
"WIuL?"
"SocIuI . . ."
"ouder."
". . . responsIbIIILv."
"More!"
"Respon -"
"RepeuL!"
"- sIbIIILv."
TIe room IIIIed wILI LIe uprour oI IuugILer unLII, no doubL,
dIsLrucLed bv IuvIng Lo guIp down mv bIood, mude u mIsLuke und
veIIed u pIruse Iud oILen seen denounced In newspuper edILorIuIs,
Ieurd debuLed In prIvuLe.
"SocIuI . . ."
"WIuL?" LIev veIIed.
". . . equuIILv -"
TIe IuugILer Iung smokeIIke In LIe sudden sLIIIness. opened mv
eves, puzzIed. Sounds oI dIspIeusure IIIIed LIe room. TIe M.C. rusIed
Iorwurd. TIev sIouLed IosLIIe pIruses uL me. BuL dId noL undersLund.
A smuII drv musLucIed mun In LIe IronL row bIured ouL, "Suv LIuL
sIowIv, son!"
"WIuL sIr?"
"WIuL vou jusL suId!"
"SocIuI responsIbIIILv, sIr," suId.
"You weren'L beIng smurL, were vou, bov?" Ie suId, noL unkIndIv.
"No, sIr!"
"You sure LIuL ubouL 'equuIILv' wus u mIsLuke?"
"OI, ves, sIr," suId. " wus swuIIowIng bIood."
"WeII, vou Iud beLLer speuk more sIowIv so we cun undersLund.
We meun Lo do rIgIL bv vou, buL vou've goL Lo know vour pIuce uL uII
LImes. AII rIgIL, now, go on wILI vour speecI."
wus uIruId. wunLed Lo Ieuve buL wunLed uIso Lo speuk und
wus uIruId LIev'd snuLcI me down.
"TIunk vou, sIr," suId, begInnIng wIere Iud IeIL oII, und IuvIng
LIem Ignore me us beIore.
YeL wIen IInIsIed LIere wus u LIunderous uppIuuse. wus
surprIsed Lo see LIe superInLendenL come IorLI wILI u puckuge wrupped
In wIILe LIssue puper, und, gesLurIng Ior quIeL, uddress LIe men.
"GenLIemen, vou see LIuL dId noL overpruIse LIIs bov. He mukes
u good speecI und some duv Ie'II Ieud IIs peopIe In LIe proper puLIs.
And don'L Iuve Lo LeII vou LIuL LIuL Is ImporLunL In LIese duvs und
LImes. TIIs Is u good, smurL bov, und so Lo encouruge IIm In LIe rIgIL
dIrecLIon, In LIe nume oI LIe Bourd oI EducuLIon wIsI Lo presenL IIm
u prIze In LIe Iorm oI LIIs . . ."
He puused, removIng LIe LIssue puper und reveuIIng u gIeumIng
cuIIskIn brIeI cuse.
". . . In LIe Iorm oI LIIs IIrsL-cIuss urLIcIe Irom SIud WIILmore's
sIop."
"Bov," Ie suId, uddressIng me, "Luke LIIs prIze und keep IL weII.
ConsIder IL u budge oI oIIIce. PrIze IL. Keep deveIopIng us vou ure und
some duv IL wIII be IIIIed wILI ImporLunL pupers LIuL wIII IeIp sIupe LIe
desLInv oI vour peopIe."
wus so moved LIuL couId IurdIv express mv LIunks. A rope oI
bIoodv suIIvu IormIng u sIupe IIke un undIscovered conLInenL drooIed
upon LIe IeuLIer und wIped IL quIckIv uwuv. IeIL un ImporLunce LIuL
Iud never dreumed.
"Open IL und see wIuL's InsIde," wus LoId.
Mv IIngers u-LrembIe, compIIed, smeIIIng LIe IresI IeuLIer und
IIndIng un oIIIcIuI-IookIng documenL InsIde. L wus u scIoIursIIp Lo LIe
sLuLe coIIege Ior Negroes. Mv eves IIIIed wILI Leurs und run uwkwurdIv
oII LIe IIoor.
wus overjoved; dId noL even mInd wIen dIscovered LIuL LIe
goId pIeces Iud scrumbIed Ior were bruss pockeL Lokens udverLIsIng u
cerLuIn muke oI uuLomobIIe.
WIen reucIed Iome evervone wus excILed. NexL duv LIe
neIgIbors cume Lo congruLuIuLe me. even IeIL suIe Irom grundIuLIer,
wIose deuLIbed curse usuuIIv spoIIed mv LrIumpIs. sLood beneuLI IIs
pIoLogrupI wILI mv brIeI cuse In Iund und smIIed LrIumpIunLIv InLo
IIs sLoIId bIuck peusunL's Iuce. L wus u Iuce LIuL IuscInuLed me. TIe
eves seemed Lo IoIIow evervwIere wenL.
TIuL nIgIL dreumed wus uL u cIrcus wILI IIm und LIuL Ie
reIused Lo IuugI uL LIe cIowns no muLLer wIuL LIev dId. TIen IuLer Ie
LoId me Lo open mv brIeI cuse und reud wIuL wus InsIde und dId,
IIndIng un oIIIcIuI enveIope sLumped wILI LIe sLuLe seuI; und InsIde LIe
enveIope Iound unoLIer und unoLIer, endIessIv, und LIougIL wouId
IuII oI weurIness. "TIem's veurs," Ie suId. "Now open LIuL one." And
dId und In IL Iound un engruved documenL conLuInIng u sIorL messuge
In IeLLers oI goId. "Reud IL," mv grundIuLIer suId. "OuL Ioud."
"To WIom L Muv Concern," InLoned. "Keep TIIs NIgger-Bov
RunnIng."
uwoke wILI LIe oId mun's IuugILer rIngIng In mv eurs.
(L wus u dreum wus Lo remember und dreum uguIn Ior munv
veurs uILer. BuL uL LIuL LIme Iud no InsIgIL InLo ILs meunIng. IrsL
Iud Lo uLLend coIIege.)
CIupLer z
L wus u beuuLIIuI coIIege. TIe buIIdIngs were oId und covered wILI
vInes und LIe rouds gruceIuIIv wIndIng, IIned wILI Iedges und wIId
roses LIuL duzzIed LIe eves In LIe summer sun. HonevsuckIe und purpIe
wIsLerIu Iung Ieuvv Irom LIe Lrees und wIILe mugnoIIus mIxed wILI
LIeIr scenLs In LIe bee-IummIng uIr. 've recuIIed IL oILen, Iere In mv
IoIe: How LIe gruss Lurned green In LIe sprIngLIme und Iow LIe
mockIng bIrds IIuLLered LIeIr LuIIs und sung, Iow LIe moon sIone down
on LIe buIIdIngs, Iow LIe beII In LIe cIupeI Lower rung ouL LIe precIous
sIorL-IIved Iours; Iow LIe gIrIs In brIgIL summer dresses promenuded
LIe grussv Iuwn. Munv LImes, Iere uL nIgIL, 've cIosed mv eves und
wuIked uIong LIe IorbIdden roud LIuL wInds pusL LIe gIrIs' dormILorIes,
pusL LIe IuII wILI LIe cIock In LIe Lower, ILs wIndows wurmIv ugIow, on
down pusL LIe smuII wIILe Home EconomIcs prucLIce coLLuge, wIILer
sLIII In LIe moonIIgIL, und on down LIe roud wILI ILs sIopIng und
LurnIng, puruIIeIIng LIe bIuck powerIouse wILI ILs engInes dronIng
eurLI-sIukIng rIvLIms In LIe durk, ILs wIndows red Irom LIe gIow oI
LIe Iurnuce, on Lo wIere LIe roud becume u brIdge over u drv rIverbed,
LungIed wILI brusI und cIIngIng vInes; LIe brIdge oI rusLIc Iogs, mude
Ior LrvsLIng, buL vIrgInuI und unLesLed bv Iovers; on up LIe roud, pusL
LIe buIIdIngs, wILI LIe souLIern verundus IuII-u-cILv-bIock Iong, Lo LIe
sudden IorkIng, burren oI buIIdIngs, bIrds, or gruss, wIere LIe roud
Lurned oII Lo LIe Insune usvIum.
uIwuvs come LIIs Iur und open mv eves. TIe speII breuks und
Lrv Lo re-see LIe rubbILs, so Lume LIrougI IuvIng never been IunLed,
LIuL pIuved In LIe Iedges und uIong LIe roud. And see LIe purpIe und
sIIver oI LIIsLIe growIng beLween LIe broken gIuss und sunIeuLed
sLones, LIe unLs movIng nervousIv In sIngIe IIIe, und Lurn und reLruce
mv sLeps und come buck Lo LIe wIndIng roud pusL LIe IospILuI, wIere uL
nIgIL In cerLuIn wurds LIe guv sLudenL nurses dIspensed u Iur more
precIous LIIng LIun pIIIs Lo Iuckv bovs In LIe know; und come Lo u
sLop uL LIe cIupeI. And LIen IL Is suddenIv wInLer, wILI LIe moon IIgI
ubove und LIe cIImes In LIe sLeepIe rIngIng und u sonorous cIoIr oI
Lrombones renderIng u CIrIsLmus curoI; und over uII Is u quIeLness und
un ucIe us LIougI uII LIe worId were IoneIIness. And sLund und IIsLen
beneuLI LIe IIgI-Iung moon, IeurIng "A MIgILv orLress s Our God,"
mujesLIcuIIv meIIow on Iour Lrombones, und LIen LIe orgun. TIe sound
IIouLs over uII, cIeur IIke LIe nIgIL, IIquId, serene, und IoneIv. And
sLund us Ior un unswer und see In mv mInd's eve LIe cubIns surrounded
bv empLv IIeIds bevond red cIuv rouds, und bevond u cerLuIn roud u
rIver, sIuggIsI und covered wILI uIgue more veIIow LIun green In ILs
sLugnunL sLIIIness; pusL more empLv IIeIds, Lo LIe sun-sIrunk sIucks uL
LIe ruIIroud crossIng wIere LIe dIsubIed veLeruns vIsILed LIe wIores,
IobbIIng down LIe Lrucks on cruLcIes und cunes; someLImes pusIIng
LIe IegIess, LIIgIIess one In u red wIeeIcIuIr. And someLImes IIsLen Lo
Ieur II musIc reucIes LIuL Iur, buL recuII onIv LIe drunken IuugILer oI
sud, sud wIores. And sLund In LIe cIrcIe wIere LIree rouds converge
neur LIe sLuLue, wIere we drIIIed Iour-ubreusL down LIe smooLI uspIuIL
und pIvoLed und enLered LIe cIupeI on Sunduvs, our unIIorms pressed,
sIoes sIIned, mInds Iuced up, eves bIInd IIke LIose oI roboLs Lo vIsILors
und oIIIcIuIs on LIe Iow, wIILewusIed revIewIng sLund.
L's so Iong ugo und Iur uwuv LIuL Iere In mv InvIsIbIIILv wonder
II IL Iuppened uL uII. TIen In mv mInd's eve see LIe bronze sLuLue oI
LIe coIIege ounder, LIe coId uLIer svmboI, IIs Iunds ouLsLreLcIed In
LIe breuLILukIng gesLure oI IIILIng u veII LIuL IIuLLers In Iurd, meLuIIIc
IoIds ubove LIe Iuce oI u kneeIIng sIuve; und um sLundIng puzzIed,
unubIe Lo decIde wIeLIer LIe veII Is reuIIv beIng IIILed, or Iowered more
IIrmIv In pIuce; wIeLIer um wILnessIng u reveIuLIon or u more eIIIcIenL
bIIndIng. And us guze, LIere Is u rusLIe oI wIngs und see u IIock oI
sLurIIngs IIIgILIng beIore me und, wIen Iook uguIn, LIe bronze Iuce,
wIose empLv eves Iook upon u worId Iuve never seen, runs wILI
IIquId cIuIk-creuLIng unoLIer umbIguILv Lo puzzIe mv gropIng mInd:
WIv Is u bIrd-soIIed sLuLue more commundIng LIun one LIuL Is cIeun?
OI, Iong green sLreLcI oI cumpus, OI, quIeL songs uL dusk, OI,
moon LIuL kIssed LIe sLeepIe und IIooded LIe perIumed nIgILs, OI,
bugIe LIuL cuIIed In LIe mornIng, OI, drum LIuL murcIed us mIIILurIIv
uL noon-wIuL wus reuI, wIuL soIId, wIuL more LIun u pIeusunL, LIme-
kIIIIng dreum? or Iow couId IL Iuve been reuI II now um InvIsIbIe? I
reuI, wIv Is IL LIuL cun recuII In uII LIuL IsIund oI greenness no IounLuIn
buL one LIuL wus broken, corroded und drv? And wIv does no ruIn IuII
LIrougI mv recoIIecLIons, sound LIrougI mv memorIes, souk LIrougI
LIe Iurd drv crusL oI LIe sLIII so recenL pusL? WIv do recuII, InsLeud oI
LIe odor oI seed bursLIng In sprIngLIme, onIv LIe veIIow conLenLs oI LIe
cIsLern spreud over LIe Iuwn's deud gruss? WIv? And Iow? How und
wIv?
TIe gruss dId grow und LIe green Ieuves uppeured on LIe Lrees und
IIIIed LIe uvenues wILI sIudow und sIude us sure us LIe mIIIIonuIres
descended Irom LIe NorLI on ounders' Duv eucI sprIng. And Iow
LIev urrIved! Cume smIIIng, InspecLIng, encourugIng, conversIng In
wIIspers, speecImukIng InLo LIe wIde-open eurs oI our bIuck und
veIIow Iuces-und eucI IeuvIng u sIzeubIe cIeck us Ie depurLed. 'm
convInced IL wus LIe producL oI u subLIe mugIc, LIe uIcIemv oI
moonIIgIL; LIe scIooI u IIower-sLudded wusLeIund, LIe rocks sunken,
LIe drv wInds IIdden, LIe IosL crIckeLs cIIrpIng Lo veIIow buLLerIIIes.
And oI, oI, oI, LIose muILImIIIIonuIres!
THEY were uII sucI u purL oI LIuL oLIer IIIe LIuL's deud LIuL cun'L
remember LIem uII. (TIme wus us wus, buL neILIer LIuL LIme nor LIuL
"" ure unv more.) BuL LIIs one remember: neur LIe end oI mv junIor
veur drove Ior IIm durIng LIe week Ie wus on LIe cumpus. A Iuce pInk
IIke SL. NIcIoIus', Lopped wILI u sIock oI sIIk wIILe IuIr. An eusv,
InIormuI munner, even wILI me. A BosLonIun, smoker oI cIgurs, LeIIer oI
poIILe Negro sLorIes, sIrewd bunker, skIIIed scIenLIsL, dIrecLor,
pIIIunLIropIsL, IorLv veurs u beurer oI LIe wIILe mun's burden, und Ior
sIxLv u svmboI oI LIe GreuL TrudILIons.
We were drIvIng, LIe powerIuI moLor purrIng und IIIIIng me wILI
prIde und unxIeLv. TIe cur smeIIed oI mInLs und cIgur smoke. SLudenLs
Iooked up und smIIed In recognILIon us we roIIed sIowIv pusL. Iud jusL
come Irom dInner und In bendIng Iorwurd Lo suppress u beIcI,
uccIdenLuIIv pressed LIe buLLon on LIe wIeeI und LIe beIcI becume u
Ioud und sIuLLerIng bIusL oI LIe Iorn. oIks on LIe roud Lurned und
sLured.
"'m uwIuIIv sorrv, sIr," suId, worrIed IesL Ie reporL me Lo Dr.
BIedsoe, LIe presIdenL, wIo wouId reIuse Lo uIIow me Lo drIve uguIn.
"PerIecLIv uII rIgIL. PerIecLIv."
"WIere sIuII drIve vou, sIr?"
"eL me see . . ."
TIrougI LIe reur-vIew mIrror couId see IIm sLudvIng u wuIer-
LIIn wuLcI, repIucIng IL In LIe pockeL oI IIs cIecked wuIsLcouL. HIs sIIrL
wus soIL sIIk, seL oII wILI u bIue-und-wIILe poIku-doLLed bow LIe. HIs
munner wus urIsLocruLIc, IIs movemenLs dupper und suuve.
"L's eurIv Lo go In Ior LIe nexL sessIon," Ie suId. "Suppose vou jusL
drIve. AnvwIere vou IIke."
"Huve vou seen uII LIe cumpus, sIr?"
"Yes, LIInk so. wus one oI LIe orIgInuI Iounders, vou know."
"Gee! dIdn'L know LIuL, sIr. TIen 'II Iuve Lo Lrv some oI LIe
rouds."
OI course knew Ie wus u Iounder, buL knew uIso LIuL IL wus
udvunLugeous Lo IIuLLer rIcI wIILe IoIks. PerIups Ie'd gIve me u Iurge
LIp, or u suIL, or u scIoIursIIp nexL veur.
"AnvwIere eIse vou IIke. TIe cumpus Is purL oI mv IIIe und know
mv IIIe ruLIer weII."
"Yes, sIr."
He wus sLIII smIIIng.
n u momenL LIe green cumpus wILI ILs vIne-covered buIIdIngs
wus beIInd us. TIe cur bounded over LIe roud. How wus LIe cumpus
purL oI IIs IIIe, wondered. And Iow dId one Ieurn IIs IIIe "ruLIer
weII"?
"Young mun, vou're purL oI u wonderIuI InsLILuLIon. L Is u greuL
dreum become reuIILv . . ."
"Yes, sIr," suId.
" IeeI us Iuckv Lo be connecLed wILI IL us vou no doubL do vourseII.
cume Iere veurs ugo, wIen uII vour beuuLIIuI cumpus wus burren
ground. TIere were no Lrees, no IIowers, no IerLIIe IurmIund. TIuL wus
veurs ugo beIore vou were born . . ."
IIsLened wILI IuscInuLIon, mv eves gIued Lo LIe wIILe IIne
dIvIdIng LIe IIgIwuv us mv LIougILs uLLempLed Lo sweep buck Lo LIe
LImes oI wIIcI Ie spoke.
"Even vour purenLs were voung. SIuverv wus jusL recenLIv pusL.
Your peopIe dId noL know In wIuL dIrecLIon Lo Lurn und, musL conIess,
munv oI mIne dIdn'L know In wIuL dIrecLIon LIev sIouId Lurn eILIer.
BuL vour greuL ounder dId. He wus mv IrIend und beIIeved In IIs
vIsIon. So mucI so, LIuL someLImes don'L know wIeLIer IL wus IIs
vIsIon or mIne . . ."
He cIuckIed soILIv, wrInkIes IormIng uL LIe corners oI IIs eves.
"BuL oI course IL wus IIs; onIv ussIsLed. cume down wILI IIm Lo
see LIe burren Iund und dId wIuL couId Lo render ussIsLunce. And IL
Ius been mv pIeusunL IuLe Lo reLurn eucI sprIng und observe LIe
cIunges LIuL LIe veurs Iuve wrougIL. TIuL Ius been more pIeusunL und
suLIsIvIng Lo me LIun mv own work. L Ius been u pIeusunL IuLe,
Indeed."
HIs voIce wus meIIow und Iouded wILI more meunIng LIun couId
IuLIom. As drove, Iuded und veIIowed pIcLures oI LIe scIooI's eurIv
duvs dIspIuved In LIe IIbrurv IIusIed ucross LIe screen oI mv mInd,
comIng IILIuIIv und IrugmenLurIIv Lo IIIe-pIoLogrupIs oI men und
women In wugons druwn bv muIe Leums und oxen, dressed In bIuck,
dusLv cIoLIIng, peopIe wIo seemed uImosL wILIouL IndIvIduuIILv, u
bIuck mob LIuL seemed Lo be wuILIng, IookIng wILI bIunk Iuces, und
umong LIem LIe InevILubIe coIIecLIon oI wIILe men und women In
smIIes, cIeur oI IeuLures, sLrIkIng, eIegunL und conIIdenL. UnLII now, und
uILIougI couId recognIze LIe ounder und Dr. BIedsoe umong LIem,
LIe IIgures In LIe pIoLogrupIs Iud never seemed ucLuuIIv Lo Iuve been
uIIve, buL were more IIke sIgns or svmboIs one Iound on LIe IusL puges
oI LIe dIcLIonurv . . . BuL now IeIL LIuL wus sIurIng In u greuL work
und, wILI LIe cur IeupIng IeIsureIv beneuLI LIe pressure oI mv IooL,
IdenLIIIed mvseII wILI LIe rIcI mun remInIscIng on LIe reur seuL . . .
"A pIeusunL IuLe," Ie repeuLed, "und Iope vours wIII be us
pIeusunL."
"Yes, sIr. TIunk vou, sIr," suId, pIeused LIuL Ie wIsIed someLIIng
pIeusunL Ior me.
BuL uL LIe sume LIme wus puzzIed: How couId unvone's IuLe be
pIeusunL? Iud uIwuvs LIougIL oI IL us someLIIng puInIuI. No one
knew spoke oI IL us pIeusunL-noL even WoodrIdge, wIo mude us reud
Greek pIuvs.
We were bevond LIe IurLIesL exLensIon oI LIe scIooI-owned Iunds
now und suddenIv decIded Lo Lurn oII LIe IIgIwuv, down u roud LIuL
seemed unIumIIIur. TIere were no Lrees und LIe uIr wus brIIIIunL. ur
down LIe roud LIe sun gIured crueIIv uguInsL u LIn sIgn nuIIed Lo u burn.
A Ione IIgure bendIng over u Ioe on LIe IIIIsIde ruIsed up weurIIv und
wuved, more u sIudow uguInsL LIe skvIIne LIun u mun.
"How Iur Iuve we come?" Ieurd over mv sIouIder.
"JusL ubouL u mIIe, sIr."
" don'L remember LIIs secLIon," Ie suId.
dIdn'L unswer. wus LIInkIng oI LIe IIrsL person wIo'd
menLIoned unvLIIng IIke IuLe In mv presence, mv grundIuLIer. TIere
Iud been noLIIng pIeusunL ubouL IL und Iud LrIed Lo IorgeL IL. Now,
rIdIng Iere In LIe powerIuI cur wILI LIIs wIILe mun wIo wus so pIeused
wILI wIuL Ie cuIIed IIs IuLe, IeIL u sense oI dreud. Mv grundIuLIer
wouId Iuve cuIIed LIIs LreucIerv und couId noL undersLund In jusL
wIuL wuv IL wus. SuddenIv grew guIILv uL LIe reuIIzuLIon LIuL LIe wIILe
mun mIgIL Iuve LIougIL so Loo. WIuL wouId Ie Iuve LIougIL? DId Ie
know LIuL Negroes IIke mv grundIuLIer Iud been Ireed durIng LIose
duvs jusL beIore LIe coIIege Iud been Iounded?
As we cume Lo u sIde roud suw u Leum oI oxen IILcIed Lo u
broken-down wugon, LIe rugged drIver dozIng on LIe seuL beneuLI LIe
sIude oI u cIump oI Lrees.
"DId vou see LIuL, sIr?" usked over mv sIouIder.
"WIuL wus IL?"
"TIe ox Leum, sIr."
"OI! No, cun'L see IL Ior LIe Lrees," Ie suId IookIng buck. "L's
good LImber."
"'m sorrv, sIr. SIuII Lurn buck?"
"No, IL Isn'L mucI," Ie suId. "Go on."
drove on, rememberIng LIe Ieun, Iungrv Iuce oI LIe sIeepIng
mun. He wus LIe kInd oI wIILe mun Ieured. TIe brown IIeIds swepL
ouL Lo LIe IorIzon. A IIock oI bIrds dIpped down, cIrcIed, swung up und
ouL us LIougI IInked bv InvIsIbIe sLrIngs. Wuves oI IeuL dunced ubove
LIe engIne Iood. TIe LIres sung over LIe IIgIwuv. InuIIv overcume
mv LImIdILv und usked IIm:
"SIr, wIv dId vou become InLeresLed In LIe scIooI?"
" LIInk," Ie suId, LIougILIuIIv, ruIsIng IIs voIce, "IL wus becuuse
IeIL even us u voung mun LIuL vour peopIe were someIow cIoseIv
connecLed wILI mv desLInv. Do vou undersLund?"
"NoL so cIeurIv, sIr," suId, usIumed Lo udmIL IL.
"You Iuve sLudIed Emerson, Iuven'L vou?"
"Emerson, sIr?"
"RuIpI WuIdo Emerson."
wus emburrussed becuuse Iudn'L. "NoL veL, sIr. We Iuven'L
come Lo IIm veL."
"No?" Ie suId wILI u noLe oI surprIse. "WeII, never mInd. um u
New EngIunder, IIke Emerson. You musL Ieurn ubouL IIm, Ior Ie wus
ImporLunL Lo vour peopIe. He Iud u Iund In vour desLInv. Yes, perIups
LIuL Is wIuL meun. Iud u IeeIIng LIuL vour peopIe were someIow
connecLed wILI mv desLInv. TIuL wIuL Iuppened Lo vou wus connecLed
wILI wIuL wouId Iuppen Lo me . . ."
sIowed LIe cur, LrvIng Lo undersLund. TIrougI LIe gIuss suw
IIm guzIng uL LIe Iong usI oI IIs cIgur, IoIdIng IL deIIcuLeIv In IIs
sIender, munIcured IIngers.
"Yes, vou ure mv IuLe, voung mun. OnIv vou cun LeII me wIuL IL
reuIIv Is. Do vou undersLund?"
" LIInk do, sIr."
" meun LIuL upon vou depends LIe ouLcome oI LIe veurs Iuve
spenL In IeIpIng vour scIooI. TIuL Ius been mv IIIe's work, noL mv
bunkIng or mv reseurcIes, buL mv IIrsL-Iund orgunIzIng oI Iumun IIIe."
suw IIm now, IeunIng Lowurd LIe IronL seuL, speukIng wILI un
InLensILv wIIcI Iud noL been LIere beIore. L wus Iurd noL Lo Lurn mv
eves Irom LIe IIgIwuv und Iuce IIm.
"TIere Is unoLIer reuson, u reuson more ImporLunL, more
pussIonuLe und, ves, even more sucred LIun uII LIe oLIers," Ie suId, no
Ionger seemIng Lo see me, buL speukIng Lo IImseII uIone. "Yes, even
more sucred LIun uII LIe oLIers. A gIrI, mv duugILer. SIe wus u beIng
more rure, more beuuLIIuI, purer, more perIecL und more deIIcuLe LIun
LIe wIIdesL dreum oI u poeL. couId never beIIeve Ier Lo be mv own
IIesI und bIood. Her beuuLv wus u weII-sprIng oI puresL wuLer-oI-IIIe,
und Lo Iook upon Ier wus Lo drInk und drInk und drInk uguIn . . . SIe
wus rure, u perIecL creuLIon, u work oI puresL urL. A deIIcuLe IIower LIuL
bIoomed In LIe IIquId IIgIL oI LIe moon. A nuLure noL oI LIIs worId, u
personuIILv IIke LIuL oI some bIbIIcuI muIden, grucIous und queenIv.
Iound IL dIIIIcuIL Lo beIIeve Ier mv own . . ."
SuddenIv Ie IumbIed In IIs vesL pockeL und LIrusL someLIIng over
LIe buck oI LIe seuL, surprIsIng me.
"Here, voung mun, vou owe mucI oI vour good IorLune In
uLLendIng sucI u scIooI Lo Ier."
Iooked upon LIe LInLed mInIuLure Irumed In engruved pIuLInum.
uImosL dropped IL. A voung womun oI deIIcuLe, dreumv IeuLures Iooked
up uL me. SIe wus verv beuuLIIuI, LIougIL uL LIe LIme, so beuuLIIuI
LIuL dId noL know wIeLIer sIouId express udmIruLIon Lo LIe exLenL
IeIL IL or mereIv ucL poIILe. And veL seemed Lo remember Ier, or
someone IIke Ier, In LIe pusL. know now LIuL IL wus LIe IIowIng
cosLume oI soIL, IIImsv muLerIuI LIuL mude Ior LIe eIIecL; Loduv, dressed
In one oI LIe smurL, weII-LuIIored, unguIur, sLerIIe, sLreumIIned, engIne-
Lurned, uIr-condILIoned modern ouLIILs vou see In LIe women's
muguzInes, sIe wouId uppeur us ordInurv us un expensIve pIece oI
mucIIne-LooIed jeweIrv und jusL us IIIeIess. TIen, Iowever, sIured
someLIIng oI IIs enLIusIusm.
"SIe wus Loo pure Ior IIIe," Ie suId sudIv; "Loo pure und Loo good
und Loo beuuLIIuI. We were suIIIng LogeLIer, LourIng LIe worId, jusL sIe
und , wIen sIe becume III In LuIv. LIougIL IILLIe oI IL uL LIe LIme und
we conLInued ucross LIe AIps. WIen we reucIed MunIcI sIe wus
uIreudv IudIng uwuv. WIIIe we were uLLendIng un embussv purLv sIe
coIIupsed. TIe besL medIcuI scIence In LIe worId couId noL suve Ier. L
wus u IoneIv reLurn, u bILLer vovuge. Iuve never recovered. Iuve
never IorgIven mvseII. EvervLIIng 've done sInce Ier pussIng Ius been
u monumenL Lo Ier memorv."
He becume sIIenL, IookIng wILI IIs bIue eves Iur bevond LIe IIeId
sLreLcIIng uwuv In LIe sun. reLurned LIe mInIuLure, wonderIng wIuL
In LIe worId Iud mude IIm open IIs IeurL Lo me. TIuL wus someLIIng
never dId; IL wus dungerous. IrsL, IL wus dungerous II vou IeIL IIke LIuL
ubouL unvLIIng, becuuse LIen vou'd never geL IL or someLIIng or
someone wouId Luke IL uwuv Irom vou; LIen IL wus dungerous becuuse
nobodv wouId undersLund vou und LIev'd onIv IuugI und LIInk vou
were cruzv.
"So vou see, voung mun, vou ure InvoIved In mv IIIe quILe
InLImuLeIv, even LIougI vou've never seen me beIore. You ure bound Lo
u greuL dreum und Lo u beuuLIIuI monumenL. I vou become u good
Iurmer, u cIeI, u preucIer, docLor, sInger, mecIunIc-wIuLever vou
become, und even II vou IuII, vou ure mv IuLe. And vou musL wrILe me
und LeII me LIe ouLcome."
wus reIIeved Lo see IIm smIIIng LIrougI LIe mIrror. Mv IeeIIngs
were mIxed. Wus Ie kIddIng me? Wus Ie LuIkIng Lo me IIke someone In
u book jusL Lo see Iow wouId Luke IL? Or couId IL be, wus uImosL
uIruId Lo LIInk, LIuL LIIs rIcI mun wus jusL LIe LInIesL bIL cruzv? How
couId LeII IIm IIs IuLe? He ruIsed IIs Ieud und our eves meL Ior un
InsLunL In LIe gIuss, LIen Iowered mIne Lo LIe bIuzIng wIILe IIne LIuL
dIvIded LIe IIgIwuv.
TIe Lrees uIong LIe roud were LIIck und LuII. We Look u curve.
Iocks oI quuII suIIed up und over u IIeId, brown, brown, suIIIng down,
bIendIng.
"WIII vou promIse Lo LeII me mv IuLe?" Ieurd.
"SIr?"
"WIII vou?"
"RIgIL now, sIr?" usked wILI emburrussmenL.
"L Is up Lo vou. Now, II vou IIke."
wus sIIenL. HIs voIce wus serIous, demundIng. couId LIInk oI no
repIv. TIe moLor purred. An InsecL crusIed ILseII uguInsL LIe
wIndsIIeId, IeuvIng u veIIow, mucous smeur.
" don'L know now, sIr. TIIs Is onIv mv junIor veur . . ."
"BuL vou'II LeII me wIen vou know?"
"'II Lrv, sIr."
"Good."
WIen Look u quIck gIunce InLo LIe mIrror Ie wus smIIIng uguIn.
wunLed Lo usk IIm II beIng rIcI und Iumous und IeIpIng Lo dIrecL LIe
scIooI Lo become wIuL IL wus, wusn'L enougI; buL wus uIruId.
"WIuL do vou LIInk oI mv Ideu, voung mun?" Ie suId.
" don'L know, sIr. onIv LIInk LIuL vou Iuve wIuL vou're IookIng
Ior. Becuuse II IuII or Ieuve scIooI, IL doesn'L seem Lo me IL wouId be
vour IuuIL. Becuuse vou IeIped muke LIe scIooI wIuL IL Is."
"And vou LIInk LIuL enougI?"
"Yes, sIr. TIuL's wIuL LIe presIdenL LeIIs us. You Iuve vours, und
vou goL IL vourseII, und we Iuve Lo IIIL ourseIves up LIe sume wuv."
"BuL LIuL's onIv purL oI IL, voung mun. Iuve weuILI und u
repuLuLIon und presLIge-uII LIuL Is Lrue. BuL vour greuL ounder Iud
more LIun LIuL, Ie Iud Lens oI LIousunds oI IIves dependenL upon IIs
Ideus und upon IIs ucLIons. WIuL Ie dId uIIecLed vour wIoIe ruce. n u
wuv, Ie Iud LIe power oI u kIng, or In u sense, oI u god. TIuL, 've come
Lo beIIeve, Is more ImporLunL LIun mv own work, becuuse more
depends upon vou. You ure ImporLunL becuuse II vou IuII Iuve IuIIed
bv one IndIvIduuI, one deIecLIve cog; IL dIdn'L muLLer so mucI beIore,
buL now 'm growIng oId und IL Ius become verv ImporLunL . . ."
BuL vou don'L even know mv nume, LIougIL, wonderIng wIuL IL
wus uII ubouL.
". . . suppose IL Is dIIIIcuIL Ior vou Lo undersLund Iow LIIs
concerns me. BuL us vou deveIop vou musL remember LIuL um
dependenL upon vou Lo Ieurn mv IuLe. TIrougI vou und vour IeIIow
sLudenLs become, IeL us suv, LIree Iundred LeucIers, seven Iundred
LruIned mecIunIcs, eIgIL Iundred skIIIed Iurmers, und so on. TIuL wuv
cun observe In Lerms oI IIvIng personuIILIes Lo wIuL exLenL mv monev,
mv LIme und mv Iopes Iuve been IruILIuIIv InvesLed. uIso consLrucL u
IIvIng memorIuI Lo mv duugILer. UndersLund? cun see LIe IruILs
produced bv LIe Iund LIuL vour greuL ounder Ius LrunsIormed Irom
burren cIuv Lo IerLIIe soII."
HIs voIce ceused und suw LIe sLrunds oI puIe bIue smoke drIILIng
ucross LIe mIrror und Ieurd LIe eIecLrIc IIgILer snup buck on ILs cubIe
InLo pIuce beIInd LIe buck oI LIe seuL.
" LIInk undersLund vou beLLer, now, sIr," suId.
"Verv good, mv bov."
"SIuII conLInue In LIIs dIrecLIon, sIr?"
"Bv uII meuns," Ie suId, IookIng ouL uL LIe counLrvsIde. "'ve never
seen LIIs secLIon beIore. L's new LerrILorv Ior me."
HuII-conscIousIv IoIIowed LIe wIILe IIne us drove, LIInkIng
ubouL wIuL Ie Iud suId. TIen us we Look u IIII we were swepL bv u wuve
oI scorcIIng uIr und IL wus us LIougI we were upproucIIng u deserL. L
uImosL Look mv breuLI uwuv und Ieuned over und swILcIed on LIe Iun,
IeurIng ILs sudden wIIrr.
"TIunk vou," Ie suId us u sIIgIL breeze IIIIed LIe cur.
We were pussIng u coIIecLIon oI sIucks und Iog cubIns now,
bIeucIed wIILe und wurped bv LIe weuLIer. Sun-LorLured sIIngIes Iuv
on LIe rooIs IIke decks oI wuLer-souked curds spreud ouL Lo drv. TIe
Iouses consIsLed oI Lwo squure rooms joIned LogeLIer bv u common
IIoor und rooI wILI u porcI In beLween. As we pussed we couId Iook
LIrougI Lo LIe IIeIds bevond. sLopped LIe cur uL IIs excILed commund
In IronL oI u Iouse seL oII Irom LIe resL.
"s LIuL u Iog cubIn?"
L wus un oId cubIn wILI ILs cIInks IIIIed wILI cIuIk-wIILe cIuv,
wILI brIgIL new sIIngIes puLcIIng ILs rooI. SuddenIv wus sorrv LIuL
Iud bIundered down LIIs roud. recognIzed LIe pIuce us soon us suw
LIe group oI cIIIdren In sLIII new overuIIs wIo pIuved neur u rIckeLv
Ience.
"Yes, sIr. L Is u Iog cubIn," suId.
L wus LIe cubIn oI JIm TruebIood, u sIurecropper wIo Iud
brougIL dIsgruce upon LIe bIuck communILv. SeveruI monLIs beIore Ie
Iud cuused quILe u bIL oI ouLruge up uL LIe scIooI, und now IIs nume
wus never menLIoned ubove u wIIsper. Even beIore LIuL Ie Iud seIdom
come neur LIe cumpus buL Iud been weII IIked us u Iurd worker wIo
Look good cure oI IIs IumIIv's needs, und us one wIo LoId LIe oId sLorIes
wILI u sense oI Iumor und u mugIc LIuL mude LIem come uIIve. He wus
uIso u good Lenor sInger, und someLImes wIen specIuI wIILe guesLs
vIsILed LIe scIooI Ie wus brougIL up uIong wILI LIe members oI u
counLrv quurLeL Lo sIng wIuL LIe oIIIcIuIs cuIIed "LIeIr prImILIve
spIrILuuIs" wIen we ussembIed In LIe cIupeI on Sunduv evenIngs. We
were emburrussed bv LIe eurLIv IurmonIes LIev sung, buL sInce LIe
vIsILors were uwed we dured noL IuugI uL LIe crude, IIgI, pIuInLIveIv
unImuI sounds JIm TruebIood mude us Ie Ied LIe quurLeL. TIuL Iud uII
pussed now wILI IIs dIsgruce, und wIuL on LIe purL oI LIe scIooI
oIIIcIuIs Iud been un uLLILude oI conLempL bIunLed bv LoIerunce, Iud
now become u conLempL sIurpened bv IuLe. dIdn'L undersLund In
LIose pre-InvIsIbIe duvs LIuL LIeIr IuLe, und mIne Loo, wus cIurged wILI
Ieur. How uII oI us uL LIe coIIege IuLed LIe bIuck-beIL peopIe, LIe
"peusunLs," durIng LIose duvs! We were LrvIng Lo IIIL LIem up und LIev,
IIke TruebIood, dId evervLIIng IL seemed Lo puII us down.
"L uppeurs quILe oId," Mr. NorLon suId, IookIng ucross LIe bure,
Iurd sLreLcI oI vurd wIere Lwo women dressed In new bIue-und-wIILe
cIecked gIngIums were wusIIng cIoLIes In un Iron poL. TIe poL wus
sooL-bIuck und LIe IeebIe IIumes LIuL IIcked ILs sIdes sIowed puIe pInk
und bordered wILI bIuck, IIke IIumes In mournIng. BoLI women moved
wILI LIe weurv, IuII-IronLed moLIons oI Iur-gone pregnuncv.
"L Is, sIr," suId. "TIuL one und LIe oLIer Lwo IIke IL were buIIL
durIng sIuverv LImes."
"You don'L suv! wouId never Iuve beIIeved LIuL LIev were so
endurIng. SInce sIuverv LImes!"
"TIuL's Lrue, sIr. And LIe wIILe IumIIv LIuL owned LIe Iund wIen IL
wus u bIg pIunLuLIon sLIII IIves In Lown."
"Yes," Ie suId, " know LIuL munv oI LIe oId IumIIIes sLIII survIve.
And IndIvIduuIs Loo, LIe Iumun sLock goes on, even LIougI IL
degeneruLes. BuL LIese cubInsI" He seemed surprIsed und conIounded.
"Do vou suppose LIose women know unvLIIng ubouL LIe uge und
IIsLorv oI LIe pIuce? TIe oIder one Iooks us LIougI sIe mIgIL."
" doubL IL, sIr. TIev-LIev don'L seem verv brIgIL."
"BrIgIL?" Ie suId, removIng IIs cIgur. "You meun LIuL LIev
wouIdn'L LuIk wILI me?" Ie usked suspIcIousIv.
"Yes, sIr. TIuL's IL."
"WIv noL?"
dIdn'L wunL Lo expIuIn. L mude me IeeI usIumed, buL Ie sensed
LIuL knew someLIIng und pressed me.
"L's noL verv nIce, sIr. BuL don'L LIInk LIose women wouId LuIk Lo
us."
"We cun expIuIn LIuL we're Irom LIe scIooI. SureIv LIev'II LuIk
LIen. You muv LeII LIem wIo um."
"Yes, sIr," suId, "buL LIev IuLe us up uL LIe scIooI. TIev never
come LIere . . ."
"WIuL!"
"No, sIr."
"And LIose cIIIdren uIong LIe Ience down LIere?"
"TIev don'L eILIer, sIr."
"BuL wIv?"
" don'L reuIIv know, sIr. QuILe u Iew IoIks ouL LIIs wuv don'L,
LIougI. guess LIev're Loo IgnorunL. TIev're noL InLeresLed."
"BuL cun'L beIIeve IL."
TIe cIIIdren Iud sLopped pIuvIng und now Iooked sIIenLIv uL LIe
cur, LIeIr urms beIInd LIeIr bucks und LIeIr new over-sIzed overuIIs
puIIed LIgIL over LIeIr IILLIe poL beIIIes us LIougI LIev Loo were
pregnunL.
"WIuL ubouL LIeIr men IoIk?"
IesILuLed. WIv dId Ie IInd LIIs so sLrunge?
"He IuLes us, sIr," suId.
"You suv Ie; uren'L boLI LIe women murrIed?"
cuugIL mv breuLI. 'd mude u mIsLuke. "TIe oId one Is, sIr," suId
reIucLunLIv.
"WIuL Iuppened Lo LIe voung womun's Iusbund?"
"SIe doesn'L Iuve unv-TIuL Is . . . -"
"WIuL Is IL, voung mun? Do vou know LIese peopIe?"
"OnIv u IILLIe, sIr. TIere wus some LuIk ubouL LIem up on LIe
cumpus u wIIIe buck."
"WIuL LuIk?"
"WeII, LIe voung womun Is LIe oId womun's duugILer . . ."
"And?"
"WeII, sIr, LIev suv . . . vou see . . . meun LIev suv LIe duugILer
doesn'L Iuve u Iusbund."
"OI, see. BuL LIuL sIouIdn'L be so sLrunge. undersLund LIuL vour
peopIe-Never mInd! s LIuL uII?"
"WeII, sIr . . ."
"Yes, wIuL eIse?"
"TIev suv LIuL Ier IuLIer dId IL."
"WIuL!"
"Yes, sIr . . . LIuL Ie guve Ier LIe bubv."
Ieurd LIe sIurp InLuke oI breuLI, IIke u Lov buIIoon suddenIv
deIIuLed. HIs Iuce reddened. wus conIused, IeeIIng sIume Ior LIe Lwo
women und Ieur LIuL Iud LuIked Loo mucI und oIIended IIs
sensIbIIILIes.
"And dId unvone Irom LIe scIooI InvesLIguLe LIIs muLLer?" Ie
usked uL IusL.
"Yes, sIr," suId.
"WIuL wus dIscovered?"
"TIuL IL wus Lrue-LIev suv."
"BuL Iow does Ie expIuIn IIs doIng sucI u-u-sucI u monsLrous
LIIng?"
He suL buck In LIe seuL, IIs Iunds gruspIng IIs knees, IIs knuckIes
bIoodIess. Iooked uwuv, down LIe IeuL-duzzIIng concreLe oI LIe
IIgIwuv. wIsIed we were buck on LIe oLIer sIde oI LIe wIILe IIne,
IeudIng buck Lo LIe quIeL green sLreLcI oI LIe cumpus.
"L Is suId LIuL LIe mun Look boLI IIs wIIe und IIs duugILer?"
"Yes, sIr."
"And LIuL Ie Is LIe IuLIer oI boLI LIeIr cIIIdren?"
"Yes, sIr."
"No, no, no!"
He sounded us LIougI Ie were In greuL puIn. Iooked uL IIm
unxIousIv. WIuL Iud Iuppened? WIuL Iud suId?
"NoL LIuL! No . . ." Ie suId, wILI someLIIng IIke Iorror.
suw LIe sun bIuze upon LIe new bIue overuIIs us LIe mun
uppeured uround LIe cubIn. HIs sIoes were Lun und new und Ie moved
eusIIv over LIe IoL eurLI. He wus u smuII mun und Ie covered LIe vurd
wILI u IumIIIurILv LIuL wouId Iuve uIIowed IIm Lo wuIk In LIe bIuckesL
durkness wILI LIe sume cerLuInLv. He cume und suId someLIIng Lo LIe
women us Ie Iunned IImseII wILI u bIue bundunnu IundkercIIeI. BuL
LIev uppeured Lo regurd IIm suIIenIv, bureIv speukIng, und IurdIv
IookIng In IIs dIrecLIon.
"WouId LIuL be LIe mun?" Mr. NorLon usked.
"Yes, sIr. LIInk so."
"GeL ouL!" Ie crIed. " musL LuIk wILI IIm."
wus unubIe Lo move. IeIL surprIse und u dreud und resenLmenL
oI wIuL Ie mIgIL suv Lo TruebIood und IIs women, LIe quesLIons Ie
mIgIL usk. WIv couIdn'L Ie Ieuve LIem uIone!
"Hurrv!"
cIImbed Irom LIe cur und opened LIe reur door. He cIumbered
ouL und uImosL run ucross LIe roud Lo LIe vurd, us LIougI compeIIed bv
some pressIng urgencv wIIcI couId noL undersLund. TIen suddenIv
suw LIe Lwo women Lurn und run IrunLIcuIIv beIInd LIe Iouse, LIeIr
movemenLs Ieuvv und IIuLIooLed. IurrIed beIInd IIm, seeIng IIm
sLop wIen Ie reucIed LIe mun und LIe cIIIdren. TIev becume sIIenL,
LIeIr Iuces cIoudIng over, LIeIr IeuLures becomIng soIL und neguLIve,
LIeIr eves bIund und decepLIve. TIev were croucIIng beIInd LIeIr eves
wuILIng Ior IIm Lo speuk-jusL us recognIzed LIuL wus LrembIIng
beIInd mv own. Up cIose suw wIuL Iud noL seen Irom LIe cur: TIe
mun Iud u scur on IIs rIgIL cIeek, us LIougI Ie Iud been IIL In LIe Iuce
wILI u sIedge. TIe wound wus ruw und moIsL und Irom LIme Lo LIme Ie
IIILed IIs IundkercIIeI Lo Iun uwuv LIe gnuLs.
", -" Mr. NorLon sLummered, " musL LuIk wILI vou!"
"AII rIgIL, suI," JIm TruebIood suId wILIouL surprIse und wuILed.
"s IL Lrue . . . meun dId vou?"
"SuI?" TruebIood usked, us Iooked uwuv.
"You Iuve survIved," Ie bIurLed. "BuL Is IL Lrue . . .?"
"SuI?" LIe Iurmer suId, IIs brow wrInkIIng wILI bewIIdermenL.
"'m sorrv, sIr," suId, "buL don'L LIInk Ie undersLunds vou."
He Ignored me, sLurIng InLo TruebIood's Iuce us LIougI reudIng u
messuge LIere wIIcI couId noL perceIve.
"You dId und ure unIurmed!" Ie sIouLed, IIs bIue eves bIuzIng
InLo LIe bIuck Iuce wILI someLIIng IIke envv und IndIgnuLIon.
TruebIood Iooked IeIpIessIv uL me. Iooked uwuv. undersLood no
more LIun Ie.
"You Iuve Iooked upon cIuos und ure noL desLroved!"
"No suI! IeeIs uII rIgIL."
"You do? You IeeI no Inner LurmoII, no need Lo cusL ouL LIe
oIIendIng eve?"
"SuI?"
"Answer me!"
"'m uII rIgIL, suI," TruebIood suId uneusIIv. "Mv eves Is uII rIgIL
Loo. And wIen IeeIs po'Iv In mv guL Lukes u IILLIe sodu und IL goes
uwuv."
"No, no, no! eL us go wIere LIere Is sIude," Ie suId, IookIng
ubouL excILedIv und goIng swIILIv Lo wIere LIe porcI cusL u swuLI oI
sIude. We IoIIowed IIm. TIe Iurmer pIuced IIs Iund on mv sIouIder,
buL sIook IL oII, knowIng LIuL couId expIuIn noLIIng. We suL on LIe
porcI In u semIcIrcIe In cump cIuIrs, me beLween LIe sIurecropper und
LIe mIIIIonuIre. TIe eurLI uround LIe porcI wus Iurd und wIILe Irom
wIere wusI wuLer Iud Iong been LIrown.
"How ure vou IurIng now?" Mr. NorLon usked. "PerIups couId
IeIp."
"We uIn'L doIng so bud, suI. 'ore LIev Ieurd 'bouL wIuL Iuppen Lo
us ouL Iere couIdn'L gIL no IeIp Irom nobodv. Now IoLLu IoIks Is
curIous und goes ouLLu LIev wuv Lo IeIp. Even LIe bIggILv scIooI IoIks
up on LIe IIII, onIv LIere wus u cuLcI Lo IL! TIev oIIered Lo send us cIeun
ouLLu LIe counLv, puv our wuv und evervLIIng und gIve me u Iundred
doIIurs Lo gIL seLLIed wILI. BuL we IIkes IL Iere so LoId 'em No. TIen
LIev senL u IeIIow ouL Iere, u bIg IeIIow Loo, und Ie suId II dIdn'L Ieuve
LIev wus goIng Lo Lurn LIe wIILe IoIks Ioose on me. L mude me mud
und IL mude me scured. TIem IoIks up LIere Lo LIe scIooI Is In sLrong
wILI LIe wIILe IoIks und LIuL scured me. BuL LIougIL wIen LIev IIrsL
come ouL Iere LIuL LIev wus dIIIerenL Irom wIen wenL up LIere u Iong
LIme ugo IookIng Ior some book IeurnIng und some poInLs on Iow Lo
IundIe mv crops. TIuL wus wIen Iud mv own pIuce. LIougIL LIev
wus LrvIng Lo Ie'p me, on uccounLu goL Lwo women due Lo bIrLI 'bouL
LIe sume LIme.
"BuL goL mud wIen Iound LIev wus LrvIn' Lo gIL rId oI us 'cuuse
LIev suId we wus u dIsgruce. YessuI, goL reuI mud. So wenL down Lo
see Mr. BucIunun, LIe boss mun, und LoIe IIm 'bouL IL und Ie gIve me
u noLe Lo LIe sIerIII und LoIe me Lo Luke IL Lo IIm. dId LIuL, jus' IIke Ie
LoIe me. wenL Lo LIe juIIIouse und gIve SIerIII Burbour LIe noLe und
Ie usk me Lo LeII IIm wIuL Iuppen, und LoIe IIm und Ie cuIIed In
some more men und LIev mude me LeII IL uguIn. TIev wunLed Lo Ieur
ubouL LIe guI IoLs oI LImes und LIev gImme someLIIn' Lo euL und drInk
und some Lobucco. SurprIsed me, 'cuuse wus scured und specLIn'
someLIIn' dIIIerenL. WIv, guess LIere uIn'L u coIored mun In LIe
counLv wIo ever goL Lo Luke so mucI oI LIe wIILe IoIkses' LIme us dId.
So IInuIIv LIev LeII me noL Lo worrv, LIuL LIev wus goIng Lo send word
up Lo LIe scIooI LIuL wus Lo sLuv rIgIL wIere um. TIem bIg nIgguIs
dIdn'L boLIer me, neILIer. L jusL goes Lo sIow vuI LIuL no muLLer Iow
bIggILv u nIgguI gILs, LIe wIILe IoIks cun uIwuvs cuL IIm down. TIe
wIILe IoIks Look up Ior me. And LIe wIILe IoIks Look Lo comIng ouL Iere
Lo see us und LuIk wILI us. Some oI 'em wus bIg wIILe IoIks, Loo, Irom
LIe bIg scIooI wuv cross LIe SLuLe. Asked me IoLs 'bouL wIuL LIougIL
'bouL LIIngs, und 'bouL mv IoIks und LIe kIds, und wroLe IL uII down In u
book. BuL besL oI uII, suI, goL more work now LIun ever dId Iuve
beIore . . ."
He LuIked wIIIIngIv now, wILI u kInd oI suLIsIucLIon und no Lruce oI
IesILuncv or sIume. TIe oId mun IIsLened wILI u puzzIed expressIon us
Ie IeId un unIIL cIgur In IIs deIIcuLe IIngers.
"TIIngs Is preLLv good now," LIe Iurmer suId. "Ever LIme LIInk oI
Iow coId IL wus und wIuL u Iurd LIme we wus IuvIng gILs LIe sIukes."
suw IIm bILe InLo u pIug oI cIewIng Lobucco. SomeLIIng LInkIed
uguInsL LIe porcI und pIcked IL up, guzIng uL IL Irom LIme Lo LIme. L
wus u Iurd red uppIe sLumped ouL oI LIn.
"You see, suI, IL wus coId und us dIdn'L Iuve mucI IIre. NoLIIn'
buL wood, no couI. LrIed Lo gIL IeIp buL wouIdn'L nobodv IeIp us und
couIdn'L IInd no work or noLIIn'. L wus so coId uII oI us Iud Lo sIeep
LogeLIer; me, LIe oIe Iudv und LIe guI. TIuL's Iow IL sLurLed, suI."
He cIeured IIs LIrouL, IIs eves gIeumIng und IIs voIce LukIng on u
deep, IncunLuLorv quuIILv, us LIougI Ie Iud LoId LIe sLorv munv, munv
LImes. IIes und IIne wIILe gnuLs swurmed ubouL IIs wound.
"TIuL's LIe wuv IL wus," Ie suId. "Me on one sIde und LIe oIe Iudv
on LIe oLIer und LIe guI In LIe mIddIe. L wus durk, pIum bIuck. BIuck
us LIe mIddIe oI u buckeL oI Lur. TIe kIds wus sIeepIng uII LogeLIer In
LIev bed over In LIe corner. musL Iuve been LIe IusL one Lo go Lo
sIeep, 'cuuse wus LIInkIng 'bouL Iow Lo gIL some grub Ior LIe nexL duv
und 'bouL LIe guI und LIe voung bov wIuL wus sLurLIn' Lo Iung 'round
Ier. dIdn'L IIke IIm und Ie kepL comIn' LIrougI mv LIougILs und
mude up mv mInd Lo wurn IIm uwuv Irom LIe guI. L wus bIuck durk
und Ieurd one oI LIe kIds wIImper In IIs sIeep und LIe IusL Iew sLIcks
oI kIndIIn' cruckIn' und seLLIIn' In LIe sLove und LIe smeII oI LIe IuL meuL
seemed Lo gIL coId und sLIII In LIe uIr jusL IIke meuL greuse wIen IL gILs
seL In u coId pIuLe oI moIusses. And wus LIInkIn' 'bouL LIe guI und LIIs
bov und IeeIIn' Ier urms besIdes me und IeurIng LIe oIe Iudv snorIn'
wILI u kIndu mounIn' und u-grounIn' on LIe oLIer sIde. wus worrvIn'
'bouL mv IumIIv, Iow LIev wus goIn' Lo euL und uII, und LIougIL 'bouL
wIen LIe guI wus IILLIe IIke LIe vounguns sIeepIn' over In LIe corner und
Iow wus Ier IuvorILe over LIe oIe Iudv. TIere we wus, breuLIIn'
LogeLIer In LIe durk. OnIv couId see 'em In mv mInd, knowIn' 'em IIke
do. n mv mInd Iooked uL uII oI 'em, one bv one. TIe guI Iooks jusL
IIke LIe oIe Iudv dId wIen sIe wus voung und IIrsL meL Ier, onIv beLLer
IookIn'. You know, we gILLIn' Lo be u beLLer-IookIn' ruce oI peopIe . . .
"Anvwuv, couId Ieur 'em breuLIIn' und LIougI Iudn'L been IL
mude me sIeepv. TIen Ieurd LIe guI suv, 'Duddv,' soIL und Iow In Ier
sIeep und Iooked, LrvIn' Lo see II sIe wus sLIII uwuke. BuL uII cun do Is
smeII Ier und IeeI Ier breuLI on mv Iund wIen go Lo LoucI Ier. SIe
suId IL so soIL couIdn'L be sure Iud Ieurd unvLIIng, so jusL IuId
LIere IIsLenIn'. Seems IIke Ieurd u wIIppoorwIII cuIIIn', und LIougIL
Lo mvseII, Go on uwuv Irom Iere, we'II wIIp oIe WIII wIen we IInd IIm.
TIen Ieurd LIe cIock up LIere uL LIe scIooI sLrIkIn' Iour LImes,
Ionesome IIke.
"TIen goL Lo LIInkIn' 'bouL wuv buck wIen IeIL LIe Iurm und
wenL Lo IIve In MobIIe und 'bouL u guI Iud me LIen. wus voung LIen-
IIke LIIs voung IeIIow Iere. Us IIved In u Lwo-sLorv Iouse 'IongsIde LIe
rIver, und uL nIgIL In LIe summerLIme we used Lo Iuv In bed und LuIk,
und uILer sIe'd gone oII Lo sIeep 'd be uwuke IookIn' ouL uL LIe IIgILs
comIn' up Irom LIe wuLer und IIsLenIn' Lo LIe sounds oI LIe bouLs
movIn' uIong. TIev used Lo Iuve musIcIuners on LIem bouLs, und
someLImes used Lo wuke Ier up Lo Ieur LIe musIc wIen LIev come up
LIe rIver. 'd be IuvIn' LIere und IL wouId be quIeL und couId Ieur IL
comIn' Irom wuv, wuv oII. Ike wIen vou quuII IunLIn' und IL's geLLIng
durk und vou cun Ieur LIe boss bIrd wIIsLIIn' LrvIn' Lo geL LIe covev
LogeLIer uguIn, und Ie's comIng Lowurd vou sIow und wIIsLIIn' soIL,
cuuse Ie knows vou somewIere uround wILI vour gun. SLIII Ie goL Lo
round LIem up, so Ie keeps on comIn'. TIem boss quuIIs Is IIke u good
mun, wIuL Ie goL Lo do Ie do.
"WeII, LIuL's LIe wuv LIe bouLs used Lo sound. ComIn' cIose Lo vou
Irom Iur uwuv. IrsL one wouId be comIn' Lo vou wIen vou uImosL sIeep
und IL sounded IIke somebodv IILLIn' uL vou sIow wILI u bIg sIInv pIck.
You see LIe pIck-poInL comIn' sLruIgIL uL vou, comIn' sIow Loo, und vou
cun'L dodge; onIv wIen IL goes Lo IIL vou IL uIn'L no pIck u'LuII buL
somebodv Iur uwuv breukIn' IILLIe boLLIes oI uII kIndsu coIored gIuss. L's
sLIII comIn' uL vou LIougI. SLIII comIn'. TIen vou Ieur IL cIose up, IIke
wIen vou up In LIe second-sLorv wIndow und Iook down on u wugonIuI
oI wuLermeIons, und vou see one oI LIem voung juIcv meIons spIIL wIde
open u-IuvIn' uII spreud ouL und cooI und sweeL on Lop oI uII LIe sLrIped
green ones IIke IL's wuILIn' jusL Ior vou, so vou cun see Iow red und rIpe
und juIcv IL Is und uII LIe sIInv bIuck seeds IL's goL und uII. And vou
couId Ieur LIe sIdewIeeIs spIusIIn' IIke LIev don'L wunL Lo wuke
nobodv up; und us, me und LIe guI, wouId Iuv LIere IeeIIn' IIke we wus
rIcI IoIks und LIem bovs on LIe bouLs wouId be pIuvIn' sweeL us good
peucI brundv wIne. TIen LIe bouLs wouId be pusL und LIe IIgILs wouId
be gone Irom LIe wIndow und LIe musIc wouId be goIn' Loo. KIndu IIke
wIen vou wuLcI u guI In u red dress und u wIde sLruw IuL goIn' pusL vou
down u Iune wILI LIe Lrees on boLI sIdes, und sIe's pIump und juIcv und
kIndu swILcIIn' Ier LuII 'cuuse sIe knows vou wuLcIIn' und vou know
sIe know, und vou jusL sLunds LIere und wuLcIes 'LII vou cun'L see
noLIIn' buL LIe Lop oI Ier red IuL und LIen LIuL goes und vou know sIe
done dropped beIInd u IIII- seen me u guI IIke LIuL once. AII couId
Ieur LIen wouId be LIuL MobIIe guI-nume oI MurgureL-sIe be
breuLIIn' besIde me, und muvbe 'bouL LIuL LIme sIe'd suv, 'Duddv, vou
sLIII 'wuke?' und LIen 'd grunL, 'UIIuI' und drop on oII-GenL'mens,"
JIm TruebIood suId, " IIkes Lo recuII LIem MobIIe duvs.
"WeII, IL wus IIke LIuL wIen Ieurd MuLLv ou suv, 'Duddv,' und
knowed sIe musLu been dreumIn' 'bouL somebodv Irom LIe wuv sIe
suId IL und gILs mud wonderIn' II IL's LIuL bov. IIsLen Lo Ier mumbIIn'
Ior u wIIIe LrvIn' Lo Ieur II sIe cuIIs IIs nume, buL sIe don'L, und
remember LIuL LIev suv II vou puL LIe Iund oI u person wIo's LuIkIn' In
IIs sIeep In wurm wuLer Ie'II suv IL uII, buL LIe wuLer Is Loo coId und
wouIdn'L Iuve done IL unvwuv. BuL 'm reuIIzIn' LIuL sIe's u womun
now, wIen IeeIs Ier Lurn und squIrm uguInsL me und LIrow Ier urm
ucross mv neck, up wIere LIe cover dIdn'L reucI und wus coId. SIe
suId someLIIn' couIdn'L undersLund, IIke u womun suvs wIen sIe
wunLs Lo Leuse und pIeuse u mun. knowed LIen sIe wus grown und
wondered Iow munv LImes IL'd done Iuppened und wus IL LIuL doggone
bov. moved Ier urm und IL wus soIL, buL IL dIdn'L wuke Ier, so cuIIed
Ier, buL LIuL dIdn'L wuke Ier neILIer. TIen Lurned mv buck und LrIed
Lo move uwuv, LIougI LIere wusn'L mucI room und couId sLIII IeeI Ier
LoucIIn' me, movIn' cIose Lo me. TIen musLu dropped InLo LIe dreum.
Iuve Lo LeII vou 'bouL LIuL dreum."
Iooked uL Mr. NorLon und sLood up, LIInkIng LIuL now wus u
good LIme Lo Ieuve; buL Ie wus IIsLenIng Lo TruebIood so InLenseIv Ie
dIdn'L see me, und suL down uguIn, cursIng LIe Iurmer sIIenLIv. To IeII
wILI IIs dreum!
" don'L quILe remember IL uII, buL remember LIuL wus IookIn'
Ior some IuL meuL. wenL Lo LIe wIILe IoIks downLown und LIev suId go
see Mr. Broudnux, LIuL Ie'd gIve IL Lo me. WeII, Ie IIves up on u IIII und
wus cIImbIn' up LIere Lo see IIm. Seems IIke LIuL wus LIe IIgIesL IIII
In LIe worId. TIe more cIImbed LIe IurLIer uwuv Mr. Broudnux's
Iouse seems Lo gIL. BuL IInuIIv do reucI LIere. And 'm so LIred und
resLIess Lo gIL Lo LIe mun, goes LIrougI LIe IronL door! knows IL's
wrong, buL cun'L IeIp IL. goes In und 'm sLundIn' In u bIg room IuII oI
IIgILed cundIes und sIInv IurnILure und pIcLures on LIe wuIIs, und soIL
sLuII on LIe IIoor. BuL don'L see u IIvIn' souI. So cuIIs IIs nume, buL
sLIII don'L nobodv come und don'L nobodv unswer. So sees u door und
goes LIrougI LIuL door und 'm In u bIg wIILe bedroom, IIke seen one
LIme wIen wus u IILLIe oIe bov und wenL Lo LIe bIg Iouse wILI mv Mu.
EvervLIIng In LIe room wus wIILe und 'm sLundIn' LIere knowIn' goL
no busIness In LIere, buL LIere unvIow. L's u womun's room Loo. LrIes
Lo gIL ouL, buL don'L IInd LIe door; und uII uround me cun smeII
womun, cun smeII IL gILLIn' sLronger uII LIe LIme. TIen Iooks over In u
corner und sees one oI LIem LuII grundIuLIer cIocks und Ieurs IL
sLrIkIn' und LIe gIuss door Is openIn' und u wIILe Iudv Is sLeppIn' ouL oI
IL. SIe goL on u nIgILgown oI soIL wIILe sIIkv sLuII und noLIIn' eIse, und
sIe Iooks sLruIgIL uL me. don'L know wIuL Lo do. wunLs Lo run, buL
LIe onIv door see Is LIe one In LIe cIock sIe's sLundIn' In-und
unvwuv, cun'L move und LIIs Iere cIock Is keepIn' up u Ieupu ruckeL.
L's gILLIn' IusLer und IusLer uII LIe LIme. LrIes Lo suv someLIIn', buL
cuInL. TIen sIe sLurLs Lo screumIn' und LIInks done gone deeI, 'cuuse
LIougI cun see Ier mouLI workIng, don'L Ieur noLIIn'. YIL cun sLIII
Ieur LIe cIock und LrIes Lo LeII Ier 'm jusL IookIn' Ior Mr. Broudnux
buL sIe don'L Ieur me. nsLeud sIe runs up und grubs me uround LIe
neck und IoIds LIgIL, LrvIn' Lo keep me ouL oI LIe cIock. don'L know
wIuL Lo do LIen, sIo 'nougI. LrIes Lo LuIk Lo Ier, und LrIes Lo gIL uwuv.
BuL sIe's IoIdIn' me und 'm scured Lo LoucI Ier cuuse sIe's wIILe.
TIen gILs so scured LIuL LIrows Ier on LIe bed und LrIes Lo breuk Ier
IoIL. TIuL womun jusL seemed Lo sInk ouLLu sIgIL, LIuL LIere bed wus so
soIL. L's sInkIn' down so Iur LIInk IL's goIng Lo smoLIer boLI oI us.
TIen swoosI! uII oI u sudden u IIock oI IILLIe wIILe geese IIIes ouL oI LIe
bed IIke LIev suv vou see wIen vou go Lo dIg Ior burIed monev. uwd!
LIev Iudn'L no more'n dIsuppeured LIun Ieurd u door open und Mr.
Broudnux's voIce suId, 'TIev jusL nIgguIs, Ieuve 'em do IL.' "
How cun Ie LeII LIIs Lo wIILe men, LIougIL, wIen Ie knows
LIev'II suv LIuL uII Negroes do sucI LIIngs? Iooked uL LIe IIoor, u red
mIsL oI unguIsI beIore mv eves.
"And cuInL sLop-uILIougI goL u IeeIIn' someLIIn' Is wrong. gIL
Ioose Irom LIe womun now und 'm runnIn' Ior LIe cIock. AL IIrsL
couIdn'L gIL LIe door open, IL Iud some kIndu crInkIv sLuII IIke sLeeI
wooI on LIe IucIng. BuL gILs IL open und gILs InsIde und IL's IoL und
durk In LIere. goes up u durk LunneI, up neur wIere LIe mucIInerv Is
mukIng uII LIuL noIse und IeuL. L's IIke LIe power pIunL LIev goL up Lo
LIe scIooI. L's burnIn' IoL us IIIen LIe Iouse wus cuugIL on IIre, und
sLurLs Lo runnIn', Lrv-In' Lo gIL ouL. runs und runs LIII sIouId be LIred
buL uIn'L LIred buL IeeIIn' more resLed us runs, und runnIn' so good IL's
IIke IIvIn' und 'm IIvIn' und suIIIn' und IIouLIn' rIgIL up over LIe Lown.
OnIv 'm sLIII In LIe LunneI. TIen wuv up uIeud sees u brIgIL IIgIL IIke
u juck-o-IunLern over u gruvevurd. L gILs brIgILer und brIgILer und
know goL Lo cuLcI up wILI IL or eIse. TIen uII uL once wus rIgIL up
wILI IL und IL bursL IIke u greuL bIg eIecLrIc IIgIL In mv eves und scuIded
me uII over. OnIv IL wusn'L u scuId, buL IIke wus drownIn' In u Iuke
wIere LIe wuLer wus IoL on LIe Lop und Iud coId numbIn' currenLs
down under IL. TIen uII uL once 'm LIrougI IL und 'm reIIeved Lo be
ouL und In LIe cooI duvIIgIL ugIn.
" wukes up InLendIn' Lo LeII LIe oIe Iudv 'bouL mv cruzv dreum.
MornIng done come, und IL's geLLIn' uImosL IIgIL. And LIere um,
IookIn' sLruIgIL In MuLLv ou's Iuce und sIe's beuLIn' me und scruLcIIn'
und LrembIIn' und sIukIn' und crvIn' uII uL LIe sume LIme IIke sIe's
IuvIn' u IIL. 'm Loo surprIsed Lo move. SIe's crvIn', 'Duddv, Duddv, oI
Duddv,' jusL IIke LIuL. And uII uL once remember LIe oIe Iudv. SIe's
rIgIL besIde us snorIn' und cun'L move 'cuuse IIggers II moved IL
wouId be u sIn And IIggers Loo, LIuL II don'L move IL muvbe uIn'L no
sIn, 'cuuse IL Iuppened wIen wus usIeep-uILIougI muvbe someLImes
u mun cun Iook uL u IILLIe oIe pIgLuII guI und see IIm u wIore-vou'uII
know LIuL? Anvwuv, reuIIzes LIuL II don'L move LIe oIe Iudv wIII see
me. don'L wunL LIuL Lo Iuppen. TIuL wouId be worse LIun sIn. 'm
wIIsperIn' Lo MuLLv ou, LrvIn' Lo keep Ier quIeL und 'm IIgurIn' Iow Lo
gIL mvseII ouL oI LIe IIx 'm In wILIouL sInnIn'. uImosL cIokes Ier.
"BuL once u mun gILs IIsseII In u LIgIL spoL IIke LIuL LIere uIn'L
mucI Ie cun do. L uIn'L up Lo IIm no Ionger. TIere wus, LrvIn' Lo gIL
uwuv wILI uII mv mIgIL, veL IuvIng Lo move wILIouL movIn'. IIew In
buL Iud Lo wuIk ouL. Iud Lo move wILIouL movIn'. done LIougIL
'bouL IL sInce u Ieup, und wIen vou LIInk rIgIL Iurd vou see LIuL LIuL's
LIe wuv LIIngs Is uIwuvs been wILI me. TIuL's jusL ubouL been mv IIIe.
TIere wus onIv one wuv cun IIgger LIuL couId gIL ouL: LIuL wus wILI u
knIIe. BuL dIdn'L Iuve no knIIe, und II vou'uII ever seen LIem geId
LIem voung bour pIgs In LIe IuII, vou know knowed LIuL LIuL wus Loo
mucI Lo puv Lo keep Irom sInnIn'. EvervLIIng wus IuppenIn' InsIde oI
me IIke u IIgIL wus goIn' on. TIen jusL LIe verv LIougIL oI LIe IIx 'm In
puLs LIe Iron buck In me.
"TIen II LIuL uIn'L bud enougI, MuLLv ou cun'L IoId ouL no Ionger
und gILs Lo movIn' IerseII. IrsL sIe wus LrvIn' Lo pusI me uwuv und 'm
LrvIn' Lo IoId Ier down Lo keep Irom sInnIn'. TIen 'm puIIIn' uwuv und
sIusIIn' Ier Lo be quIeL so's noL Lo wuke Ier Mu, wIen sIe grubs IoIL Lo
me und IoIds LIgIL. SIe dIdn'L wunL me Lo go LIen-und Lo LeII LIe
IonesL-Lo-God LruLI Iound ouL LIuL dIdn'L wunL Lo go neILIer. guess
IeIL LIen, uL LIuL LIme-und uILIougI been sorrv sInce-jusL 'bouL IIke
LIuL IeIIow dId down In BIrmIngIum. TIuL one wIuL Iocked IIsseII In
IIs Iouse und sIoL uL LIem poIIce unLII LIev seL IIre Lo LIe Iouse und
burned IIm up. wus IosL. TIe more wrIngIIn' und LwIsLIn' we done
LrvIn' Lo gIL uwuv, LIe more we wunLed Lo sLuv. So IIke LIuL IeIIow,
sLuved, Iud Lo IIgIL IL on ouL Lo LIe end. He mIgILu dIed, buL
suspecLs now LIuL Ie goL u Ieupu suLIsIucLIon beIore Ie wenL. know
LIere uIn'L noLIIn' IIke wIuL wenL LIrougI, cuInL LeII Iow IL wus. L's
IIke wIen u reuI drInkIn' mun gILs drunk, or wIen u reuI suncLIIIed
reIIgIous womun gILs so worked up sIe jumps ouLLu Ier cIoLIes, or
wIen u reuI gumbIIn' mun keeps on gumbIIn' wIen Ie's IosIn'. You goL
IoIL Lo IL und vou cuInL IeL go even LIougI vou wunL Lo."
"Mr. NorLon, sIr," suId In u cIoked voIce, "IL's LIme we were
geLLIng buck Lo LIe cumpus. You'II mIss vour uppoInLmenLs . . ."
He dIdn'L even Iook uL me. "PIeuse," Ie suId, wuvIng IIs Iund In
unnovunce.
TruebIood seemed Lo smIIe uL me beIInd IIs eves us Ie Iooked
Irom LIe wIILe mun Lo me und conLInued.
" couIdn'L even IeL go wIen Ieurd KuLe screum. L wus u screum
Lo muke vour bIood run coId. L sounds IIke u womun wIo wus wuLcIIn'
u Leum oI wIId Iorses run down Ier bubv cIIIe und sIe cuInL move.
KuLe's IuIr Is sLundIn' up IIke sIe done seen u gIosL, Ier gown Is
IungIng open und LIe veIns In Ier neck Is 'bouL Lo busL. And Ier eves!
uwd, LIem eves. 'm IookIn' up uL Ier Irom wIere 'm IuvIn' on LIe
puIIeL wILI MuLLv ou, und 'm Loo weuk Lo move. SIe screums und
sLurLs Lo pIckIn' up LIe IIrsL LIIng LIuL comes Lo Ier Iund und LIrowIn'
IL. Some oI LIem mIsses me und some oI LIem IILs me. ILLIe LIIngs und
bIg LIIngs. SomeLIIn' coId und sLrong-sLInkIn' IILs me und weLs me und
bungs uguInsL mv Ieud. SomeLIIn' IILs LIe wuII-boom-u-Ioom-u-Ioom!
-IIke u cunnon buII, und LrIes Lo cover up mv Ieud. KuLe's LuIkIn' LIe
unknown Longue, IIke u wIId womun.
" 'WuIL u mInIL, KuLe,' suvs. 'SLop IL!'
"TIen Ieurs Ier sLop u second und Ieurs Ier runnIn' ucross LIe
IIoor, und LwIsLs und Iooks und uwd, sIe done goL mv doubIe-burreI
sIoLgun!
"And wIIIe sIe's IoumIn' uL LIe mouLI und cockIn' LIe gun, sIe
gILs Ier speecI.
" 'GIL up! GIL up!' sIe suvs.
" 'HEY! NAW! KATE!' suvs.
" 'Goddum vo' souI Lo IeII! GIL up oIIu mv cIIIe!'
" 'BuL womun, KuLe, IIssen . . .'
" 'Don'L LuIk, MOVE!'
" 'Down LIuL LIIng, KuLe!'
" 'No down, UP!'
" 'TIuL LIere's bucksIoL, womun, BUCKsIoL!'
" 'Yes, IL Is!'
" 'Down IL, suv!"
" ''m gon bIusL vour souI Lo IeII!'
" 'You gon IIL MuLLv ou!'
" 'NoL MuLLv ou -YOU!'
" 'L spreuds, KuLe. MuLLv ou!'
"SIe moves uround, uImIn' uL me.
" ' done wurn vou, JIm . . .'
" 'KuLe, IL wus u dreum. Issen Lo me . . .'
" 'You LIe one wIo IIssen-UP ROM THERE!'
"SIe jerks LIe gun und sIuLs mv eves. BuL InsLeudu LIunder und
IIgILIn' busLIn' me, Ieurs MuLLv ou screum In mv eur,
" 'Mummu! Oooooo, MAMA!'
" roIIs uImosL over LIen und KuLe IesILuLes. SIe Iooks uL LIe gun,
und sIe Iooks uL us, und sIe sIIvers u mInIL IIke sIe goL LIe Iever. TIen
uII uL once sIe drops LIe gun, und ZP! quIck us u cuL, sIe Lurns und
grubs someLIIn' oII LIe sLove. L cuLcIes me IIke somebodv dIggIn' InLo
mv sIde wILI u sIurp spude. cuInL breuLIe. SIe's LIrowIn' und LuIkIn'
uII uL LIe sume LIme.
"And wIen Iooks up, Muun, Muuun! sIe's goL u Iron In Ier Iund!
" IoIIers, 'No bIood, KuLe. Don'L spIII no bIood!'
" 'You Iow-down dog,' sIe suvs, 'IL's beLLer Lo spIII LIun Lo IouI!'
" 'Nuw, KuLe. TIIngs uIn'L wIuL LIev 'peur! Don'L muke no bIood-
sIn on uccounLu no dreum-sIn!"
" 'SIuL up, nIgguI. You done IouIed!'
"BuL sees LIere uIn'L no use reusonIn' wILI Ier LIen. mukes up
mv mInd LIuL 'm goIn' Lo Luke wIuLever sIe gImme. L seems Lo me
LIuL uII cun do Is Luke mv punIsImenL. LeII mvseII, Muvbe II vou
suIIer Ior IL, IL wIII be besL. Muvbe vou owe IL Lo KuLe Lo IeL Ier beuL vou.
You uIn'L guIILv, buL sIe LIInks vou Is. You don'L wunL Ier Lo beuL vou,
buL sIe LIInk sIe goL Lo beuL vou. You wunL Lo gIL up, buL vou Loo weuk
Lo move.
" wus Loo. wus Irozen Lo wIere wus IIke u voungun wIuL done
sLuck IIs IIp Lo u pump IundIe In LIe wInLerLIme. wus jusL IIke u
juvbIrd LIuL LIe veIIow juckeLs done sLung 'LII Ie's puruIvzed-buL sLIII
uIIve In IIs eves und Ie's wuLcIIn' 'em sLIng IIs bodv Lo deuLI.
"L mude me seem Lo go wuv buck u dIsLunce In mv Ieud, beIInd
mv eves, IIke wus sLundIn' beIInd u wIndbreuk durIn' u sLorm. Iooks
ouL und sees KuLe runnIn' Lowurd me druggIn' someLIIng beIInd Ier.
LrIes Lo see wIuL IL Is 'cuuse 'm curIous 'bouL IL und sees Ier gown cuLcI
on LIe sLove und Ier Iund comIn' In sIgIL wILI someLIIn' In IL. LIInks
Lo mvseII, L's u IundIe. WIuL sIe goL LIe IundIe Lo? TIen sees Ier
rIgIL up on me, bIg. SIe's swIngIn' Ier urms IIke u mun swIngIn' u Len-
pound sIedge und sees LIe knuckIes oI Ier Iund Is bruIsed und
bIeedIn', und sees IL cuLcI In Ier gown und sees Ier gown go up so
cun see Ier LIIgIs und sees Iow rusLv und gruv LIe coId done mude
Ier skIn, und sees Ier bend und sLruIgILenIn' up und Ieurs Ier grunL
und sees Ier swIng und smeIIs Ier sweuL und knows bv LIe sIupe oI
LIe sIInIn' wood wIuL sIe's goL Lo puL on me. uwd, ves! sees IL cuLcI
on u quIIL LIIs LIme und ruIse LIuL quIIL up und drop IL on LIe IIoor.
TIen sees LIuL ux come Iree! L's sIInIn', sIInIn' Irom LIe sIurpenIn'
'd gIve IL u Iew duvs beIore, und mun, wuv buck In mvseII, beIInd LIuL
wIndbreuk, suvs,
" 'NAAW! KATE-uwd, KuLe, NAW!!!' "
SuddenIv IIs voIce wus so sLrIdenL LIuL Iooked up sLurLIed.
TruebIood seemed Lo Iook sLruIgIL LIrougI Mr. NorLon, IIs eves gIussv.
TIe cIIIdren puused guIILIIv uL LIeIr pIuv, IookIng Lowurd LIeIr IuLIer.
" mIgIL us weII been pIeudIn' wILI u swILcI engIne," Ie wenL on. "
sees IL comIn' down. sees LIe IIgIL cuLcIIn' on IL, sees KuLe's Iuce uII
meun und LIgILens mv sIouIders und sLIIIens mv neck und wuILs-
Len mIIIIon buck-breukIn' veurs, IL seems Lo me IIke wuILs. wuILs so
Iong remembers uII LIe wrong LIIngs ever done; wuILs so Iong
opens mv eves und cIoses 'em und opens mv eves ugIn, und sees IL
IuIIIn'. L's IuIIIn' IusL us IIops Irom u sIx-IooL ox, und wIIIe 'm wuILIn'
IeeIs someLIIn' wInd up InsIde oI me und Lurn Lo wuLer. sees IL, uwd,
ves! sees IL und seeIn' IL LwIsLs mv Ieud usIde. CouIdn'L IeIp IL; KuLe
Ius u good uIm, buL Ior LIuL. moves. TIougI meunL Lo keep sLIII,
moved! Anvbodv buL Jesus CIrIsL IIsseII wouIdu moved. IeeI IIke LIe
wIoIe sIde oI mv Iuce Is smusIed cIeur oII. L IILs me IIke IoL Ieud so
IoL LIuL InsLeudu burnIn' me IL numbs me. 'm IuvIn' LIere on LIe IIoor,
buL InsIde me 'm runnIn' round In cIrcIes IIke u dog wILI IIs buck
broke, und buck InLo LIuL numbness wILI mv LuII Lucked beLween mv
Iegs. IeeIs IIke don'L Iuve no skIn on mv Iuce no more, onIv LIe
nuked bone. BuL LIIs Is LIe purL don'L undersLund: more'n LIe puIn
und numbness IeeIs reIIeI. Yes, und Lo gIL some more oI LIuL reIIeI
seems Lo run ouL Irom beIInd LIe wIndbreuk uguIn und up Lo wIere
KuLe's sLundIn' wILI LIe ux, und opens mv eves und wuILs. TIuL's LIe
LruLI. wunLs some more und wuILs. sees Ier swIng IL, IookIn' down
on me, und sees IL In LIe uIr und IoIds mv breuLI, LIen uII oI u
sudden sees IL sLop IIke somebodv done reucIed down LIrougI LIe
rooI und cuugIL IL, und sees Ier Iuce Iuve u spusm und sees LIe ux
IuII, buck oI Ier LIIs LIme, und IIL LIe IIoor, und KuLe spews ouL some
puke und cIose mv eves und wuILs. cun Ieur Ier mounIn' und
sLumbIIn' ouL oI LIe door und IuIIIn' oII LIe porcI InLo LIe vurd. TIen
Ieurs Ier pukIn' IIke uII Ier guLs Is comIng up bv LIe rooLs. TIen Iooks
down und seen bIood runnIn' uII over MuLLv ou. L's mv bIood, mv Iuce
Is bIeedIn'. TIuL gILs me Lo movIn'. gILs up und sLumbIes ouL Lo IInd
KuLe, und LIere sIe Is under LIe coLLonwood Lree ouL LIere, on Ier
knees, und sIe's mounIn'.
" 'WIuL Iuve done, uwd! WIuL Iuve done!'
"SIe's drooIIn' green sLuII und gILs Lo pukIn' ugIn, und wIen goes
Lo LoucI Ier IL gILs worse. sLunds LIere IoIdIn' mv Iuce und LrvIn' Lo
keep LIe bIood Irom IIowIn' und wonders wIuL on eurLI Is gonnu
Iuppen. Iooks up uL LIe mornIn' sun und expecLs someIow Ior IL Lo
LIunder. BuL IL's uIreudv brIgIL und cIeur und LIe sun comIn' up und LIe
bIrds Is cIIrpIn' und gILs more uIruId LIen LIun II u boIL oI IIgILnIn'
Iud sLruck me. veIIs, 'Huve mercv, uwd! uwd, Iuve mercv!' und
wuILs. And LIere's noLIIn' buL LIe cIeur brIgIL mornIn' sun.
"BuL don'L noLIIn' Iuppen und knows LIen LIuL someLIIn' worse
LIun unvLIIng ever Ieurd 'bouL Is In sLore Ior me. musLu sLood LIere
sLurk sLone sLIII Ior IuII un Iour. wus sLIII sLundIn' LIere wIen KuLe goL
oII Ier knees und wenL buck InLo LIe Iouse. TIe bIood wus runnIn' uII
over mv cIoLIes und LIe IIIes wus uILer me, und wenL buck InsIde Lo Lrv
und sLop IL.
"WIen see MuLLv ou sLreLcIed ouL LIere LIInk sIe's deud.
AIn'L no coIor In Ier Iuce und sIe uIn'L IurdIv breuLIIn'. SIe gruv In LIe
Iuce. LrIes Lo IeIp Ier buL cun'L do no good und KuLe won'L speuk Lo
me nor Iook uL me even; und LIInks muvbe sIe pIuns Lo Lrv Lo kIII me
ugIn, buL sIe don'L. 'm In sucI u duze jusL sILs LIere LIe wIoIe LIme
wIIIe sIe bundIes up LIe vounguns und Lukes 'em down LIe roud Lo
WIII NIcIoIs'. cun see buL cuInL do noLIIn'.
"And 'm sLIII seLLIn' LIere wIen sIe comes buck wILI some
women Lo see 'bouL MuLLv ou. Won'L nobodv speuk Lo me, LIougI LIev
Iooks uL me IIke 'm some new kIndu coLLon-pIckIn' mucIIne. IeeIs
bud. LeIIs LIem Iow IL Iuppened In u dreum, buL LIev scorns me. gILs
pIum ouL oI LIe Iouse LIen. goes Lo see LIe preucIer und even Ie
don'L beIIeve me. He LeIIs me Lo gIL ouL oL IIs Iouse, LIuL 'm LIe mosL
wIcked mun Ie's ever seen und LIuL beLLer go conIess mv sIn und
muke mv peuce wILI God. Ieuves LrvIn' Lo pruv, buL cuInL. LIInks
und LIInks, unLII LIInks mv bruIn go'n busL, 'bouL Iow 'm guIILv und
Iow uIn'L guIILv. don'L euL noLIIn' und don'L drInk noLIIn' und cuInL
sIeep uL nIgIL. InuIIv, one nIgIL, wuv eurIv In LIe mornIn', Iooks up
und sees LIe sLurs und sLurLs sIngIn'. don'L meun Lo, dIdn'L LIInk
'bouL IL, jusL sLurL sIngIn'. don'L know wIuL IL wus, some kIndu cIurcI
song, guess. AII know Is ends up sIngIn' LIe bIues. sIngs me some
bIues LIuL nIgIL uIn'L never been sung beIore, und wIIIe 'm sIngIn'
LIem bIues mukes up mv mInd LIuL uIn'L nobodv buL mvseII und uIn'L
noLIIn' cun do buL IeL wIuLever Is gonnu Iuppen, Iuppen. mude up
mv mInd LIuL wus goIn' buck Iome und Iuce KuLe; veuI, und Iuce
MuLLv ou Loo.
"WIen gILs Iere evervbodv LIInks done run oII. TIere's u Ieup
oI women Iere wILI KuLe und runs 'em ouL. And wIen runs 'em ouL
sends LIe vounguns ouL Lo pIuv und Iocks LIe door und LeIIs KuLe und
MuLLv ou 'bouL LIe dreum und Iow 'm sorrv, buL LIuL wIuL done
Iuppen Is done Iuppen.
" 'How come vou don'L go on 'wuv und Ieuve us?' Is LIe IIrsL words
KuLe suvs Lo me. 'AIn'L vou done enougI Lo me und LIIs cIIIe?'
" ' cuInL Ieuve vou,' suvs. ''m u mun und mun don'L Ieuve IIs
IumIIv.'
"SIe suvs, 'Nuw, vou uIn'L no mun. No mun'd do wIuL vou dId.'
" ''m sLIII u mun,' suvs.
" 'BuL wIuL vou gon' do uILer IL Iuppens?' suvs KuLe.
" 'AILer wIuL Iuppens?' suvs.
" 'WIen vo bIuck 'bomInuLIon Is bIrLIed Lo buwI vo wIcked sIn beIo
LIe eves oI God!' (SIe musLu Ieurned LIem words Irom LIe preucIer.)
" 'BIrLI?' suvs. 'WIo bIrLI?'
" 'BoLI oI us. Me bIrLI und MuLLv ou bIrLI. BoLI oI us bIrLI, vou
dIrLv Iowdown wIcked dog!'
"TIuL IIkeLu kIIIed me. cun undersLund LIen wIv MuLLv ou won'L
Iook uL me und won'L speuk u word Lo nobodv.
" 'I vou sLuv 'm goIn' over un' gIL AunL CIoe Ior boLI oI us,' KuLe
suvs. SIe suvs, ' don'L uIm Lo bIrLI no sIn Ior IoIks Lo Iook uL uII LIe resL
oI mv IIIe, und don'L uIm Ior MuLLv ou Lo neILIer.'
"You see, AunL CIoe Is u mIdwIIe, und even weuk us um Irom LIIs
news knows don'L wunL Ier IooIIn' wILI mv womenIoIks. TIuL
wouIdu been pIIIn' sIn up on Loppu sIn. So LoId KuLe, nuw, LIuL II AunL
CIoe come neur LIIs Iouse 'd kIII Ier, oId us sIe Is. 'du done IL Loo.
TIuL seLLIes IL. wuIks ouL oI LIe Iouse und Ieuves 'em Iere Lo crv IL ouL
beLween 'em. wunLed Lo go oII bv mvseII ugIn, buL IL don'L do no good
LrvIn' Lo run oII Irom someLIIn' IIke LIuL. L IoIIows vou wIerever vou
go. BesIdes, Lo gIL rIgIL down Lo LIe IucLs, LIere wusn'L nowIere couId
go. dIdn'L Iuve u crvIn' dIme!
"TIIngs goL Lo IuppenIn' rIgIL oII. TIe nIgguIs up uL LIe scIooI
come down Lo cIuse me oII und LIuL mude me mud. wenL Lo see LIe
wIILe IoIks LIen und LIev guve me IeIp. TIuL's wIuL don'L undersLund.
done LIe worse LIIng u mun couId ever do In IIs IumIIv und InsLeud oI
cIusIn' me ouL oI LIe counLv, LIev gImme more IeIp LIun LIev ever gIve
unv oLIer coIored mun, no muLLer Iow good u nIgguI Ie wus. ExcepL
LIuL mv wIIe un' duugILer won'L speuk Lo me, 'm beLLer oII LIun ever
been beIore. And even II KuLe won'L speuk Lo me sIe Look LIe new
cIoLIes brougIL Ier Irom up In Lown und now sIe's geLLIn' some
evegIusses mude wIuL sIe been needIn' Ior so Iong. BuL wIuL don'L
undersLund Is Iow done LIe worse LIIng u mun cun do In IIs own
IumIIv und 'sLeud oI LIIngs gILLIn' bud, LIev goL beLLer. TIe nIgguIs up
uL LIe scIooI don'L IIke me, buL LIe wIILe IoIks LreuLs me IIne."
HE WAS some Iurmer. As IIsLened Iud been so Lorn beLween
IumIIIuLIon und IuscInuLIon LIuL Lo Iessen mv sense oI sIume Iud
kepL mv uLLenLIon rIveLed upon IIs InLense Iuce. TIuL wuv dId noL
Iuve Lo Iook uL Mr. NorLon. BuL now us LIe voIce ended suL IookIng
down uL Mr. NorLon's IeeL. OuL In LIe vurd u womun's Iourse conLruILo
InLoned u Ivmn. CIIIdren's voIces were ruIsed In pIuvIuI cIuLLer. suL
benL over, smeIIIng LIe sIurp drv odor oI wood burnIng In LIe IoL
sunIIgIL. sLured uL LIe Lwo puIrs oI sIoes beIore me. Mr. NorLon's
were wIILe, LrImmed wILI bIuck. TIev were cusLom mude und LIere
besIde LIe cIeup Lun brogues oI LIe Iurmer LIev Iud LIe eIegunLIv
sIender weII-bred uppeurunce oI IIne gIoves. InuIIv someone cIeured
IIs LIrouL und Iooked up Lo see Mr. NorLon sLurIng sIIenLIv InLo JIm
TruebIood's eves. wus sLurLIed. HIs Iuce Iud druIned oI coIor. WILI IIs
brIgIL eves burnIng InLo TruebIood's bIuck Iuce, Ie Iooked gIosLIv.
TruebIood Iooked uL me quesLIonIngIv.
"Issen Lo LIe vounguns," Ie suId In emburrussmenL. "PIuvIn'
'ondon BrIdge's uIIIn' Down.' "
SomeLIIng wus goIng on wIIcI dIdn'L geL. Iud Lo geL Mr.
NorLon uwuv.
"Are vou uII rIgIL, sIr?" usked.
He Iooked uL me wILI unseeIng eves. "AII rIgIL?" Ie suId.
"Yes, sIr. meun LIuL LIInk IL's LIme Ior LIe uILernoon sessIon,"
IurrIed on.
He sLured uL me bIunkIv.
wenL Lo IIm. "Are vou sure vou're uII rIgIL, sIr?"
"Muvbe IL's LIe IeuL," TruebIood suId. "You goL Lo be born down
Iere Lo sLund LIIs kInd oI IeuL."
"PerIups," Mr. NorLon suId, "IL Is LIe IeuL. We'd beLLer go."
He sLood sIukIIv, sLIII sLurIng InLenLIv uL TruebIood. TIen suw
IIm removIng u red Moroccun-IeuLIer wuIIeL Irom IIs couL pockeL. TIe
pIuLInum-Irumed mInIuLure cume wILI IL, buL Ie dId noL Iook uL IL LIIs
LIme.
"Here," Ie suId, exLendIng u bunknoLe. "PIeuse Luke LIIs und buv
LIe cIIIdren some Lovs Ior me."
TruebIood's mouLI IeII ugupe, IIs eves wIdened und IIIIed wILI
moIsLure us Ie Look LIe bIII beLween LrembIIng IIngers. L wus u
Iundred-doIIur bIII.
"'m reudv, voung mun," Mr. NorLon suId, IIs voIce u wIIsper.
wenL beIore IIm Lo LIe cur und opened LIe door. He sLumbIed u
bIL cIImbIng In und guve IIm mv urm. HIs Iuce wus sLIII cIuIk wIILe.
"DrIve me uwuv Irom Iere," Ie suId In u sudden Irenzv. "Awuv!"
"Yes, sIr."
suw JIm TruebIood wuve us LIrew LIe cur InLo geur. "You
busLurd," suId under mv breuLI. "You no-good busLurd! You geL u
Iundred-doIIur bIII!"
WIen Iud Lurned LIe cur und sLurLed buck suw IIm sLIII
sLundIng In LIe sume pIuce.
SuddenIv Mr. NorLon LoucIed me on LIe sIouIder. " musL Iuve u
sLImuIunL, voung mun. A IILLIe wIIskev."
"Yes, sIr. Are vou uII rIgIL, sIr?"
"A IILLIe IuInL, buL u sLImuIunL . . ."
HIs voIce LruIIed oII. SomeLIIng coId Iormed wILIIn mv cIesL. I
unvLIIng Iuppened Lo IIm Dr. BIedsoe wouId bIume me. sLepped on
LIe gus, wonderIng wIere couId geL IIm some wIIskev. NoL In LIe
Lown, LIuL wouId Luke Loo Iong. TIere wus onIv one pIuce, LIe GoIden
Duv.
"'II Iuve vou some In u Iew mInuLes, sIr," suId.
"As soon us vou cun," Ie suId.
CIupLer
suw LIem us we upproucIed LIe sIorL sLreLcI LIuL Iuv beLween
LIe ruIIroud Lrucks und LIe GoIden Duv. AL IIrsL IuIIed Lo recognIze
LIem. TIev sLruggIed down LIe IIgIwuv In u Ioose bodv, bIockIng LIe
wuv Irom LIe wIILe IIne Lo LIe IruzzIed weeds LIuL bordered LIe sun-
IeuLed concreLe sIub. cursed LIem sIIenLIv. TIev were bIockIng LIe
roud und Mr. NorLon wus guspIng Ior breuLI. AIeud oI LIe rudIuLor's
gIeumIng curve LIev Iooked IIke u cIuIn gung on ILs wuv Lo muke u roud.
BuL u cIuIn gung murcIes sIngIe IIIe und suw no guurds on Iorsebuck.
As drew neurer recognIzed LIe Ioose gruv sIIrLs und punLs worn bv
LIe veLeruns. Dumn! TIev were IeudIng Ior LIe GoIden Duv.
"A IILLIe sLImuIunL," Ieurd beIInd me.
"n u Iew mInuLes, sIr."
Up uIeud suw LIe one wIo LIougIL Ie wus u drum mujor
sLruLLIng In IronL, gIvIng orders us Ie moved energeLIcuIIv In Iong, IIp-
swIngIng sLrIdes, u cune IeId ubove IIs Ieud, rIsIng und IuIIIng us
LIougI In LIme Lo musIc. sIowed LIe cur us suw IIm Lurn Lo Iuce LIe
men, IIs cune IeId uL cIesL IeveI us Ie sIorLened LIe puce. TIe men
conLInued Lo Ignore IIm, wuIkIng uIong In u muss, some LuIkIng In
groups und oLIers LuIkIng und gesLIcuIuLIng Lo LIemseIves.
SuddenIv, LIe drum mujor suw LIe cur und sIook IIs cune-buLon
uL me. bIew LIe Iorn, seeIng LIe men move over Lo LIe sIde us nosed
LIe cur sIowIv Iorwurd. He IeId IIs ground, IIs Iegs bruced, Iunds on
IIps, und Lo keep Irom IILLIng IIm sIummed on LIe brukes.
TIe drum mujor rusIed pusL LIe men Lowurd LIe cur, und Ieurd
LIe cune bung down upon LIe Iood us Ie rusIed Lowurd me.
"WIo LIe IeII vou LIInk vou ure, runnIng down LIe urmv? GIve LIe
counLersIgn. WIo's In commund oI LIIs ouLIIL? You LruckIng busLurds
wus uIwuvs Loo bIg Ior vour brILcIes. CounLersIgn me!"
"TIIs Is GeneruI PersIIng's cur, sIr," suId, rememberIng IeurIng
LIuL Ie responded Lo LIe nume oI IIs wurLIme Communder-In-CIIeI.
SuddenIv LIe wIId Iook cIunged In IIs eves und Ie sLepped buck und
suIuLed wILI sLIII precIsIon. TIen IookIng suspIcIousIv InLo LIe buck
seuL, Ie burked,
"WIere's LIe GeneruI?"
"TIere," suId, LurnIng und seeIng Mr. NorLon ruIsIng IImseII,
weuk und wIILe-Iuced, Irom LIe seuL.
"WIuL Is IL? WIv Iuve we sLopped?"
"TIe sergeunL sLopped us, sIr . . ."
"SergeunL? WIuL sergeunL?" He suL up.
"s LIuL vou, GeneruI?" LIe veL suId, suIuLIng. " dIdn'L know vou
were InspecLIng LIe IronL IInes Loduv. 'm verv sorrv, sIr."
"WIuL . . . ?" Mr. NorLon suId.
"TIe GeneruI's In u Iurrv," suId quIckIv.
"Sure Is," LIe veL suId. "He's goL u IoL Lo see. DIscIpIIne Is bud.
ArLIIIerv's sIoL Lo IeII." TIen Ie cuIIed Lo LIe men wuIkIng up LIe roud,
"GeL LIe IeII ouL oI LIe GeneruI's roud. GeneruI PersIIng's comIng
LIrougI. Muke wuv Ior GeneruI PersIIng!"
He sLepped usIde und sIoL LIe cur ucross LIe IIne Lo uvoId LIe
men und sLuved LIere on LIe wrong sIde us Ieuded Ior LIe GoIden
Duv.
"WIo wus LIuL mun?" Mr. NorLon gusped Irom LIe buck seuL.
"A Iormer soIdIer, sIr. A veL. TIev're uII veLs, u IILLIe sIeIIsIocked."
"BuL wIere Is LIe uLLendunL?"
" don'L see one, sIr. TIev're IurmIess LIougI."
"NeverLIeIess, LIev sIouId Iuve un uLLendunL."
Iud Lo geL IIm LIere und uwuv beIore LIev urrIved. TIIs wus LIeIr
duv Lo vIsIL LIe gIrIs, und LIe GoIden Duv wouId be preLLv rowdv.
wondered wIere LIe resL oI LIem were. TIere sIouId Iuve been ubouL
IIILv. WeII, wouId rusI In und geL LIe wIIskev und Ieuve. WIuL wus
wrong wILI Mr. NorLon unvwuv, wIv sIouId Ie geL LIuL upseL over
TruebIood? Iud IeIL usIumed und severuI LImes Iud wunLed Lo
IuugI, buL IL Iud mude IIm sIck. Muvbe Ie needed u docLor. HeII, Ie
dIdn'L usk Ior unv docLor. Dumn LIuL busLurd TruebIood.
wouId run In, geL u pInL, und run ouL uguIn, LIougIL. TIen Ie
wouIdn'L see LIe GoIden Duv. seIdom wenL LIere mvseII excepL wILI
some oI LIe IeIIows wIen word goL ouL LIuL u new buncI oI gIrIs Iud
urrIved Irom New OrIeuns. TIe scIooI Iud LrIed Lo muke LIe GoIden
Duv respecLubIe, buL LIe IocuI wIILe IoIks Iud u Iund In IL someIow und
LIev goL nowIere. TIe besL LIe scIooI couId do wus Lo muke IL IoL Ior
unv sLudenL cuugIL goIng LIere.
He Iuv IIke u mun usIeep us IeIL LIe cur und run InLo LIe GoIden
Duv. wunLed Lo usk IIm Ior monev buL decIded Lo use mv own. AL LIe
door puused; LIe pIuce wus uIreudv IuII, jummed wILI veLs In Ioose
gruv sIIrLs und Lrousers und women In sIorL, LIgIL-IILLIng, sLIIIIv
sLurcIed gIngIum uprons. TIe sLuIe beer smeII sLruck IIke u cIub
LIrougI LIe noIse oI voIces und LIe juke box. JusL us goL InsIde LIe
door u sLoIId-Iuced mun grIpped me bv LIe urm und Iooked sLonIIv InLo
mv eves.
"L wIII occur uL =:o," Ie suId, IookIng sLruIgIL LIrougI me.
"WIuL?"
"TIe greuL uII-embrucIng, ubsoIuLe ArmIsLIce, LIe end oI LIe
worId!" Ie suId.
BeIore couId unswer, u smuII pIump womun smIIed InLo mv Iuce
und puIIed IIm uwuv.
"L's vour Lurn, Doc," sIe suId. "Don'L IeL IL Iuppen LIII uILer me
und vou done been upsLuIrs. How come uIwuvs Iuve Lo come geL vou?"
"No, IL Is Lrue," Ie suId. "TIev wIreIessed me Irom PurIs LIIs
mornIng."
"TIen, bubv, me un' vou beLLer Iurrv. TIere's IoLs oI monev goL
Lo muke In Iere beIore LIuL LIIng Iuppens. You IoId IL buck u wIIIe,
wIII vou?"
SIe wInked uL me us sIe puIIed IIm LIrougI LIe crowd Lowurd LIe
sLuIrs. eIbowed mv wuv nervousIv Lowurd LIe bur.
Munv oI LIe men Iud been docLors, Iuwvers, LeucIers, CIvII ServIce
workers; LIere were severuI cooks, u preucIer, u poIILIcIun, und un
urLIsL. One verv nuLLv one Iud been u psvcIIuLrIsL. WIenever suw
LIem IeIL uncomIorLubIe. TIev were supposed Lo be members oI LIe
proIessIons Lowurd wIIcI uL vurIous LImes vugueIv uspIred mvseII,
und even LIougI LIev never seemed Lo see me couId never beIIeve LIuL
LIev were reuIIv puLIenLs. SomeLImes IL uppeured us LIougI LIev pIuved
some vusL und compIIcuLed gume wILI me und LIe resL oI LIe scIooI
IoIk, u gume wIose gouI wus IuugILer und wIose ruIes und subLIeLIes
couId never grusp.
Two men sLood dIrecLIv In IronL oI me, one speukIng wILI InLense
eurnesLness. ". . . und JoInson IIL JeIIrIes uL un ungIe oI q= degrees
Irom IIs Iower IeIL IuLeruI IncIsor, producIng un InsLunLuneous bIockIng
oI IIs enLIre LIuIumIc rIne, IrosLIng IL over IIke LIe IreezIng unIL oI u
reIrIgeruLor, LIus sIuLLerIng IIs uuLonomous nervous svsLem und
rockIng LIe bIg brIck-IuvIng creumpuII wILI exLreme IvperspusmIc
muscuIur Lremors wIIcI dropped IIm deud on LIe exLreme LIp oI IIs
coccvx, wIIcI, In Lurn, produced u sIurp LruumuLIc reucLIon In IIs
spIIncLer nerve und muscIe, und LIen, mv deur coIIeugue, LIev swepL
IIm up, sprInkIed IIm wILI quIckIIme und roIIed IIm uwuv In u burrow.
NuLuruIIv, LIere wus no oLIer LIerupv possIbIe."
"Excuse me," suId, pusIIng pusL.
BIg HuIIev wus beIInd LIe bur, IIs durk skIn sIowIng LIrougI IIs
sweuL-weL sIIrL.
"WIuLcIu suvIng, scIooI-bov?"
" wunL u doubIe wIIskev, HuIIev. PuL IL In someLIIng deep so
cun geL IL ouL oI Iere wILIouL spIIIIng IL. L's Ior somebodv ouLsIde."
HIs mouLI sIoL ouL, "HeII, nuw!"
"WIv?" usked, surprIsed uL LIe unger In IIs LIvroId eves.
"You sLIII up uL LIe scIooI, uIn'L vou?"
"Sure."
"WeII, LIose busLurds Is LrvIng Lo cIose me up ugIn, LIuL's wIv. You
cun drInk LIII vou bIue In LIe Iuce In Iere, buL wouIdn'L seII vou
enougI Lo spIL LIrougI vour LeeLI Lo Luke ouLsIde."
"BuL 've goL u sIck mun ouL In LIe cur."
"WIuL cur? You never Iud no cur."
"TIe wIILe mun's cur. 'm drIvIng Ior IIm."
"AIn'L vou In scIooI?"
"He's Irom LIe scIooI."
"WeII, wIo's sIck?"
"He Is."
"He Loo good Lo come In? TeII IIm we don'L JImcrow nobodv."
"BuL Ie's sIck."
"He cun dIe!"
"He's ImporLunL, HuIIev, u LrusLee. He's rIcI und sIck und II
unvLIIng Iuppens Lo IIm, LIev'II Iuve me pucked und on mv wuv
Iome."
"Cun'L IeIp IL, scIooI-bov. BrIng IIm InsIde und Ie cun buv
enougI Lo swIm In. He cun drInk ouLLu mv own prIvuLe boLLIe."
He sIIced LIe wIILe Ieuds oII u coupIe oI beers wILI un Ivorv
puddIe und pussed LIem up LIe bur. IeIL sIck InsIde. Mr. NorLon
wouIdn'L wunL Lo come In Iere. He wus Loo sIck. And besIdes dIdn'L
wunL IIm Lo see LIe puLIenLs und LIe gIrIs. TIIngs were geLLIng wIIder
us mude mv wuv ouL. Supercurgo, LIe wIILe-unIIormed uLLendunL wIo
usuuIIv kepL LIe men quIeL wus nowIere Lo be seen. dIdn'L IIke IL, Ior
wIen Ie wus upsLuIrs LIev Iud ubsoIuLeIv no InIIbILIons. mude mv
wuv ouL Lo LIe cur. WIuL couId LeII Mr. NorLon? He wus IvIng verv sLIII
wIen opened LIe door.
"Mr. NorLon, sIr. TIev reIuse Lo seII me wIIskev Lo brIng ouL."
He Iuv verv sLIII.
"Mr. NorLon."
He Iuv IIke u IIgure oI cIuIk. sIook IIm genLIv, IeeIIng dreud
wILIIn me. He bureIv breuLIed. sIook IIm vIoIenLIv, seeIng IIs Ieud
wobbIe groLesqueIv. HIs IIps purLed, bIuIsI, reveuIIng u row oI Iong,
sIender, umuzIngIv unImuI-IIke LeeLI.
"SR!"
n u punIc run buck InLo LIe GoIden Duv, bursLIng LIrougI LIe
noIse us LIrougI un InvIsIbIe wuII.
"HuIIev! HeIp me, Ie's dvIng!"
LrIed Lo geL LIrougI buL no one seemed Lo Iuve Ieurd me. wus
bIocked on boLI sIdes. TIev were jummed LogeLIer.
"HuIIev!"
Two puLIenLs Lurned und Iooked me In LIe Iuce, LIeIr eves Lwo
IncIes Irom mv nose.
"WIuL Is wrong wILI LIIs genLIemun, SvIvesLer?" LIe LuII one suId.
"A mun's dvIng ouLsIde!" suId.
"Someone Is uIwuvs dvIng," LIe oLIer one suId.
"Yes, und IL's good Lo dIe beneuLI God's greuL LenL oI skv."
"He's goL Lo Iuve some wIIskev!"
"OI, LIuL's dIIIerenL," one oI LIem suId und LIev begun pusIIng u
puLI Lo LIe bur. "A IusL brIgIL drInk Lo keep LIe unguIsI down. SLep
usIde, pIeuse!"
"ScIooI-bov, vou buck uIreudv?" HuIIev suId.
"GIve me some wIIskev. He's dvIng!"
" done LoId vou, scIooI-bov, vou beLLer brIng IIm In Iere. He cun
dIe, buL sLIII goL Lo puv mv bIIIs."
"PIeuse, LIev'II puL me In juII."
"You goIng Lo coIIege, IIgure IL ouL," Ie suId.
"You'd beLLer brIng LIe genLIemun InsIde," LIe one cuIIed SvIvesLer
suId. "Come, IeL us ussIsL vou."
We IougIL our wuv ouL oI LIe crowd. He wus jusL us IeIL IIm.
"ook, SvIvesLer, IL's TIomus JeIIerson!"
" wus jusL ubouL Lo suv, 've Iong wunLed Lo dIscourse wILI IIm."
Iooked uL LIem speecIIessIv; LIev were boLI cruzv. Or were LIev
jokIng?
"GIve me u Iund," suId.
"GIudIv."
sIook IIm. "Mr. NorLon!"
"We'd beLLer Iurrv II Ie's Lo enjov IIs drInk," one oI LIem suId
LIougILIuIIv.
We pIcked IIm up. He swung beLween us IIke u suck oI oId cIoLIes.
"Hurrv!"
As we currIed IIm Lowurd LIe GoIden Duv one oI LIe men sLopped
suddenIv und Mr. NorLon's Ieud Iung down, IIs wIILe IuIr druggIng In
LIe dusL.
"GenLIemen, LIIs mun Is mv grundIuLIer!"
"BuL Ie's wIILe, IIs nume's NorLon."
" sIouId know mv own grundIuLIer! He's TIomus JeIIerson und
'm IIs grundson-on LIe 'IIeId-nIgger' sIde," LIe LuII mun suId.
"SvIvesLer, do beIIeve LIuL vou're rIgIL. cerLuInIv do," Ie suId,
sLurIng uL Mr. NorLon. "ook uL LIose IeuLures. ExucLIv IIke vours-Irom
LIe IdenLIcuI moId. Are vou sure Ie dIdn'L spIL vou upon LIe eurLI, IuIIv
cIoLIed?"
"No, no, LIuL wus mv IuLIer," LIe mun suId eurnesLIv.
And Ie begun Lo curse IIs IuLIer vIoIenLIv us we moved Ior LIe
door. HuIIev wus LIere wuILIng. SomeIow Ie'd goLLen LIe crowd Lo
quIeL down und u spuce wus cIeured In LIe cenLer oI LIe room. TIe men
cume cIose Lo Iook uL Mr. NorLon.
"Somebodv brIng u cIuIr."
"YeuI, IeL MIsLer Eddv sIL down."
"TIuL uIn'L no MIsLer Eddv, mun, LIuL's JoIn D. RockeIeIIer,"
someone suId.
"Here's u cIuIr Ior LIe MessIuI."
"SLund buck v'uII," HuIIev ordered. "GIve IIm some room."
BurnsIde, wIo Iud been u docLor, rusIed Iorwurd und IeIL Ior Mr.
NorLon's puIse.
"L's soIId! TIIs mun Ius u soIId puIse! nsLeud oI beuLIng, IL
vIbruLes. TIuL's verv unusuuI. Verv."
Someone puIIed IIm uwuv. HuIIev reuppeured wILI u boLLIe und u
gIuss. "Here, some oI v'uII LIIL IIs Ieud buck."
And beIore couId move, u sIorL, pock-murked mun uppeured und
Look Mr. NorLon's Ieud beLween IIs Iunds, LIILIng IL uL urm's IengLI und
LIen, pIncIIng LIe cIIn genLIv IIke u burber ubouL Lo uppIv u ruzor, guve
u sIurp, swIIL movemenL.
"Pow!"
Mr. NorLon's Ieud jerked IIke u jubbed puncIIng bug. Ive puIe
red IInes bIoomed on LIe wIILe cIeek, gIowIng IIke IIre beneuLI
LrunsIucenL sLone. couId noL beIIeve mv eves. wunLed Lo run. A
womun LILLered. suw severuI men rusI Ior LIe door.
"CuL IL ouL, vou dumn IooI!"
"A cuse oI IvsLerIu," LIe pock-murked mun suId quIeLIv.
"GIL LIe IeII ouL oI LIe wuv," HuIIev suId. "Somebodv gIL LIuL
sLooI-pIgeon uLLendunL Irom upsLuIrs. GIL IIm down Iere, quIck!"
"A mere mIId cuse oI IvsLerIu," LIe pock-murked mun suId us LIev
pusIed IIm uwuv.
"Hurrv wILI LIe drInk, HuIIev!"
"HeuI, scIooI-bov, vou IoId LIe gIuss. TIIs Iere's brundv been
suvIng Ior mvseII."
Someone wIIspered LoneIessIv InLo mv eur, "You see, LoId vou
LIuL IL wouId occur uL =:o. AIreudv LIe CreuLor Ius come." L wus LIe
sLoIId-Iuced mun.
suw HuIIev LIIL LIe boLLIe und LIe oIIv umber oI brundv sIosIIng
InLo LIe gIuss. TIen LIILIng Mr. NorLon's Ieud buck, puL LIe gIuss Lo IIs
IIps und poured. A IIne brown sLreum run Irom LIe corner oI IIs mouLI,
down IIs deIIcuLe cIIn. TIe room wus suddenIv quIeL. IeIL u sIIgIL
movemenL uguInsL mv Iund, IIke u cIIId's breusL wIen IL wIImpers uL
LIe end oI u speII oI crvIng. TIe IIne-veIned eveIIds IIIckered. He
cougIed. suw u sIow red IIusI creep, LIen spurL, up IIs neck,
spreudIng over IIs Iuce.
"HoId IL under IIs nose, scIooI-bov. eL 'Im smeII IL."
wuved LIe gIuss beneuLI Mr. NorLon's nose. He opened IIs puIe
bIue eves. TIev seemed wuLerv now In LIe red IIusI LIuL buLIed IIs
Iuce. He LrIed Lo sIL up, IIs rIgIL Iund IIuLLerIng Lo IIs cIIn. HIs eves
wIdened, moved quIckIv Irom Iuce Lo Iuce. TIen comIng Lo mIne, LIe
moIsL eves Iocused wILI recognILIon.
"You were unconscIous, sIr," suId.
"WIere um , voung mun?" Ie usked weurIIv.
"TIIs Is LIe GoIden Duv, sIr."
"WIuL?"
"TIe GoIden Duv. L's u kInd oI sporLIng-und-gumbIIng Iouse,"
udded reIucLunLIv.
"Now gIve IIm unoLIer drInku brundv," HuIIev suId.
poured u drInk und Iunded IL Lo IIm. He snIIIed IL, cIosed IIs
eves us In puzzIemenL, LIen drunk; IIs cIeeks IIIIed ouL IIke smuII
beIIows; Ie wus rInsIng IIs mouLI.
"TIunk vou," Ie suId, u IILLIe sLronger now. "WIuL Is LIIs pIuce?"
"TIe GoIden Duv," suId severuI puLIenLs In unIson.
He Iooked sIowIv uround IIm, up Lo LIe buIconv, wILI ILs scroIIed
und curved wood. A Iurge IIug Iung Iunk ubove LIe IIoor. He Irowned.
"WIuL wus LIIs buIIdIng used Ior In LIe pusL?" Ie suId.
"L wus u cIurcI, LIen u bunk, LIen IL wus u resLuurunL und u Iuncv
gumbIIng Iouse, und now we goL IL," HuIIev expIuIned. " LIInk
somebodv suId IL used Lo be u juII-Iouse Loo."
"TIev IeL us come Iere once u week Lo ruIse u IILLIe IeII," someone
suId.
" couIdn'L buv u drInk Lo Luke ouL, sIr, so Iud Lo brIng vou
InsIde," expIuIned In dreud.
He Iooked ubouL IIm. IoIIowed IIs eves und wus umuzed Lo see
LIe vurIed expressIons on LIe puLIenLs' Iuces us LIev sIIenLIv reLurned
IIs guze. Some were IosLIIe, some crIngIng, some IorrIIIed; some, wIo
wIen umong LIemseIves were mosL vIoIenL, now uppeured us
submIssIve us cIIIdren. And some seemed sLrungeIv umused.
"Are uII oI vou puLIenLs?" Mr. NorLon usked.
"Me, jusL runs LIe joInL," HuIIev suId. "TIese Iere oLIer IeIIows .
. ."
"We're puLIenLs senL Iere us LIerupv," u sIorL, IuL, verv InLeIIIgenL-
IookIng mun suId. "BuL," Ie smIIed, "LIev send uIong un uLLendunL, u
kInd oI censor, Lo see LIuL LIe LIerupv IuIIs."
"You're nuLs. 'm u dvnumo oI energv. come Lo cIurge mv
buLLerIes," one oI LIe veLs InsIsLed.
"'m u sLudenL oI IIsLorv, sIr," unoLIer InLerrupLed wILI drumuLIc
gesLures. "TIe worId moves In u cIrcIe IIke u rouIeLLe wIeeI. n LIe
begInnIng, bIuck Is on Lop, In LIe mIddIe epocIs, wIILe IoIds LIe odds,
buL soon ELIIopIu sIuII sLreLcI IorLI Ier nobIe wIngs! TIen pIuce vour
monev on LIe bIuck!" HIs voIce LIrobbed wILI emoLIon. "UnLII LIen, LIe
sun IoIds no IeuL, LIere's Ice In LIe IeurL oI LIe eurLI. Two veurs Irom
now und 'II be oId enougI Lo gIve mv muIuLLo moLIer u buLI, LIe IuII-
wIILe bILcI!" Ie udded, begInnIng Lo Ieup up und down In un expIosIon
oI gIussv-eved Iurv.
Mr. NorLon bIInked IIs eves und sLruIgILened up.
"'m u pIvsIcIun, muv Luke vour puIse?" BurnsIde suId, seIzIng
Mr. NorLon's wrIsL.
"Don'L puv IIm no mInd, mIsLer. He uIn'L been no docLor In Len
veurs. TIev cuugIL IIm LrvIng Lo cIunge some bIood InLo monev."
" dId Loo!" LIe mun screumed. " dIscovered IL und JoIn D.
RockeIeIIer sLoIe LIe IormuIu Irom me."
"Mr. RockeIeIIer dId vou suv?" Mr. NorLon suId. "'m sure vou
musL be mIsLuken."
"WHAT'S GONG ON DOWN THERE?" u voIce sIouLed Irom LIe
buIconv. Evervone Lurned. suw u Iuge bIuck gIunL oI u mun, dressed
onIv In wIILe sIorLs, swuvIng on LIe sLuIrs. L wus Supercurgo, LIe
uLLendunL. IurdIv recognIzed IIm wILIouL IIs Iurd-sLurcIed wIILe
unIIorm. UsuuIIv Ie wuIked uround LIreuLenIng LIe men wILI u sLruIL
juckeL wIIcI Ie uIwuvs currIed over IIs urm, und usuuIIv LIev were
quIeL und submIssIve In IIs presence. BuL now LIev seemed noL Lo
recognIze IIm und begun sIouLIng curses.
"How vou gon keep order In LIe pIuce II vou gon gIL drunk?"
HuIIev sIouLed. "CIurIene! CIurIene!"
"YeuI?" u womun's voIce, sLurLIIng In ILs currvIng power, unswered
suIkIIv Irom u room oII LIe buIconv.
" wunL vou Lo gIL LIuL sLooI-pIgeonIng, jov-kIIIIng, nuL-crusIIng
bum buck In LIere wILI vou und sober IIm up. TIen gIL IIm In IIs
wIILe suIL und down Iere Lo keep order. We goL wIILe IoIks In LIe
Iouse."
A womun uppeured on LIe buIconv, druwIng u wooIIv pInk robe
ubouL Ier. "Now vou IIssen Iere, HuIIev," sIe druwIed, "'m u womun. I
vou wunL IIm dressed, vou cun do IL vourseII. don'L puL on buL one
mun's cIoLIes und Ie's In N'OrIeuns."
"Never mInd uII LIuL. GIL LIuL sLooI pIgeon sober!"
" wunL order down LIere," Supercurgo boomed, "und II LIere's
wIILe IoIks down LIere, wun's doubIe order."
SuddenIv LIere wus un ungrv rour Irom LIe men buck neur LIe bur
und suw LIem rusI LIe sLuIrs.
"GeL IIm!"
"eL's gIve IIm some order!"
"OuL oI mv wuv."
Ive men cIurged LIe sLuIrs. suw LIe gIunL bend und cIuLcI LIe
posLs uL LIe Lop oI LIe sLuIrs wILI boLI Iunds, brucIng IImseII, IIs bodv
gIeumIng bure In IIs wIILe sIorLs. TIe IILLIe mun wIo Iud sIupped Mr.
NorLon wus In IronL, und, us Ie sprung up LIe Iong IIIgIL, suw LIe
uLLendunL seL IImseII und kIck, cuLcIIng LIe IILLIe mun jusL us Ie
reucIed LIe Lop, Iurd In LIe cIesL, sendIng IIm buckwurds In u curvIng
dIve InLo LIe mIdsL oI LIe men beIInd IIm. Supercurgo goL seL Lo swIng
IIs Ieg uguIn. L wus u nurrow sLuIr und onIv one mun couId geL up uL u
LIme. As IusL us LIev rusIed up, LIe gIunL kIcked LIem buck. He swung
IIs Ieg, kIckIng LIem down IIke u Iungo-IILLer buLLIng ouL IIIes.
WuLcIIng IIm, IorgoL Mr. NorLon. TIe GoIden Duv wus In un uprour.
HuII-dressed women uppeured Irom LIe rooms oII LIe buIconv. Men
IooLed und veIIed us uL u IooLbuII gume.
" WANT ORDER!" LIe gIunL sIouLed us Ie senL u mun IIvIng
down LIe IIIgIL oI sLuIrs.
"THEY THROWNG BOTTES O QUOR!" u womun screumed.
"REA QUOR!"
"TIuL's u order Ie don'L wunL," someone suId.
A sIower oI boLLIes und gIusses spIusIIng wIIskev crusIed uguInsL
LIe buIconv. suw Supercurgo snup suddenIv erecL und grub IIs
IoreIeud, IIs Iuce buLIed In wIIskev, "Eeeee!" Ie crIed, "Eeeee!" TIen
suw IIm wuver, rIgId Irom IIs unkIes upwurd. or u momenL LIe men
on LIe sLuIrs were moLIonIess, wuLcIIng IIm. TIen LIev sprung
Iorwurd.
Supercurgo grubbed wIIdIv uL LIe buIusLrude us LIev snuLcIed IIs
IeeL Irom beneuLI IIm und sLurLed down. HIs Ieud bounced uguInsL LIe
sLeps mukIng u sound IIke u serIes oI gunsIoLs us LIev run druggIng IIm
bv IIs unkIes, IIke voIunLeer IIremen runnIng wILI u Iose. TIe crowd
surged Iorwurd. HuIIev veIIed neur mv eur. suw LIe mun beIng
drugged Lowurd LIe cenLer oI LIe room.
"GIve LIe busLurd some order!"
"Here 'm IorLv-IIve und Ie's been ucLIng IIke Ie's mv oId mun!"
"So vou IIke Lo kIck, IuI?" u LuII mun suId, uImIng u sIoe uL LIe
uLLendunL's Ieud. TIe IIesI ubove IIs rIgIL eve jumped ouL us LIougI IL
Iud been InIIuLed.
TIen Ieurd Mr. NorLon besIde me sIouLIng, "No, no! NoL wIen
Ie's down!"
"Issen uL LIe wIILe IoIks," someone suId. "He's LIe wIILe IoIks'
mun!"
Men were jumpIng upon Supercurgo wILI boLI IeeL now und IeIL
sucI un excILemenL LIuL wunLed Lo joIn LIem. Even LIe gIrIs were
veIIIng, "GIve IL Lo IIm good!" "He never puvs me!" "KIII IIm!"
"PIeuse, v'uII, noL Iere! NoL In mv pIuce!"
"You cun'L speuk vour mInd wIen Ie's on duLv!"
"HeII, no!"
SomeIow goL pusIed uwuv Irom Mr. NorLon und Iound mvseII
besIde LIe mun cuIIed SvIvesLer.
"WuLcI LIIs, scIooI-bov," Ie suId. "See LIere, wIere IIs rIbs ure
bIeedIng?" nodded mv Ieud. "Now don'L move vour eves."
wuLcIed LIe spoL us LIougI compeIIed, jusL beneuLI LIe Iower rIb
und ubove LIe IIp-bone, us SvIvesLer meusured cureIuIIv wILI IIs Loe
und kIcked us LIougI Ie were punLIng u IooLbuII. Supercurgo IeL ouL u
groun IIke un Injured Iorse.
"Trv IL, scIooI-bov, IL IeeIs so good. L gIves vou reIIeI," SvIvesLer
suId. "SomeLImes geL so uIruId oI IIm IeeI LIuL Ie's InsIde mv Ieud.
TIere!" Ie suId, gIvIng Supercurgo unoLIer kIck.
As wuLcIed, u mun sprung on Supercurgo's cIesL wILI boLI IeeL
und Ie IosL conscIousness. TIev begun LIrowIng coId beer on IIm,
revIvIng IIm, onIv Lo kIck IIm unconscIous uguIn. Soon Ie wus
drencIed In bIood und beer.
"TIe busLurd's ouL coId."
"TIrow IIm ouL."
"Nuw, wuIL u mInuLe. GIve me u Iund somebodv."
TIev LIrew IIm upon LIe bur, sLreLcIIng IIm ouL wILI IIs urms
IoIded ucross IIs cIesL IIke u corpse.
"Now, IeL's Iuve u drInk!"
HuIIev wus sIow In geLLIng beIInd LIe bur und LIev cursed IIm.
"GeL buck LIere und serve us, vou bIg suck oI IuL!"
"GImme u rve!"
"Up Iere, Iunk-busLer!"
"SIuke LIem sIoppv IIps!"
"Okuv, okuv, Luke IL eusv," HuIIev suId, rusIIng Lo pour LIem
drInks. "JusL puL v'uII's monev wIere vour mouLI Is."
WILI Supercurgo IvIng IeIpIess upon LIe bur, LIe men wIIrIed
ubouL IIke munIucs. TIe excILemenL seemed Lo Iuve LIILed some oI LIe
more deIIcuLeIv buIunced ones Loo Iur. Some mude IosLIIe speecIes uL
LIe Lop oI LIeIr voIces uguInsL LIe IospILuI, LIe sLuLe und LIe unIverse.
TIe one wIo cuIIed IImseII u composer wus bungIng uwuv LIe one wIId
pIece Ie seemed Lo know on LIe ouL-oI-Lune pIuno, sLrIkIng LIe
kevbourd wILI IIsLs und eIbows und IIIIIng In oLIer eIIecLs In u buss
voIce LIuL mouned IIke u beur In ugonv. One oI LIe mosL educuLed ones
LoucIed mv urm. He wus u Iormer cIemIsL wIo wus never seen wILIouL
IIs sIInIng PII BeLu Kuppu kev.
"TIe men Iuve IosL conLroI," Ie suId LIrougI LIe uprour. " LIInk
vou'd beLLer Ieuve."
"'m LrvIng Lo," suId, "us soon us cun geL over Lo Mr. NorLon."
Mr. NorLon wus gone Irom wIere Iud IeIL IIm. rusIed Iere und
LIere LIrougI LIe noIsv men, cuIIIng IIs nume.
WIen Iound IIm Ie wus under LIe sLuIrs. SomeIow Ie Iud been
pusIed LIere bv LIe scuIIIIng, reeIIng men und Ie Iuv spruwIed In LIe
cIuIr IIke un uged doII. n LIe dIm IIgIL IIs IeuLures were sIurp und
wIILe und IIs cIosed eves weII-deIIned IInes In u weII-LooIed Iuce.
sIouLed IIs nume ubove LIe rour oI LIe men, und goL no unswer. He
wus ouL uguIn. sIook IIm, genLIv, LIen rougIIv, buL sLIII no IIIcker oI
IIs wrInkIed IIds. TIen some oI LIe mIIIIng men pusIed me up uguInsL
IIm und suddenIv u muss oI wIILeness wus IoomIng Lwo IncIes Irom
mv eves; IL wus onIv IIs Iuce buL IeIL u sIudder oI numeIess Iorror.
Iud never been so cIose Lo u wIILe person beIore. n u punIc sLruggIed
Lo geL uwuv. WILI IIs eves cIosed Ie seemed more LIreuLenIng LIun
wILI LIem open. He wus IIke u IormIess wIILe deuLI, suddenIv
uppeured beIore me, u deuLI wIIcI Iud been LIere uII LIe LIme und
wIIcI Iud now reveuIed ILseII In LIe mudness oI LIe GoIden Duv.
"SLop screumIng!" u voIce communded, und IeIL mvseII puIIed
uwuv. L wus LIe sIorL IuL mun.
cIumped mv mouLI sIuL, uwure Ior LIe IIrsL LIme LIuL LIe sIrIII
sound wus comIng Irom mv own LIrouL. suw LIe mun's Iuce reIux us Ie
guve me u wrv smIIe.
"TIuL's beLLer," Ie sIouLed InLo mv eur. "He's onIv u mun.
Remember LIuL. He's onIv u mun!"
wunLed Lo LeII IIm LIuL Mr. NorLon wus mucI more LIun LIuL,
LIuL Ie wus u rIcI wIILe mun und In mv cIurge; buL LIe verv Ideu LIuL
wus responsIbIe Ior IIm wus Loo mucI Ior me Lo puL InLo words.
"eL us Luke IIm Lo LIe buIconv," LIe mun suId, pusIIng me Lowurd
Mr. NorLon's IeeL. moved uuLomuLIcuIIv, gruspIng LIe LIIn unkIes us
Ie ruIsed LIe wIILe mun bv LIe urmpILs und bucked Irom beneuLI LIe
sLuIrs. Mr. NorLon's Ieud IoIIed upon IIs cIesL us LIougI Ie were drunk
or deud.
TIe veL sLurLed up LIe sLeps sLIII smIIIng, cIImbIng buckwurds u
sLep uL u LIme. Iud begun Lo worrv ubouL IIm, wIeLIer Ie wus drunk
IIke LIe resL, wIen suw LIree oI LIe gIrIs wIo Iud been IeunIng over
LIe buIusLrude wuLcIIng LIe bruwI come down Lo IeIp us currv Mr.
NorLon up.
"ooks IIke pops couIdn'L Luke IL," one oI LIem sIouLed.
"He's IIgI us u GeorgIu pIne."
"YeuI, LeII vou LIIs sLuII HuIIev goL ouL Iere Is Loo sLrong Ior
wIILe IoIks Lo drInk."
"NoL drunk, III!" LIe IuL mun suId. "Go IInd u bed LIuL's noL beIng
used so Ie cun sLreLcI ouL uwIIIe."
"SIo, duddv. s LIere unv oLIer IILLIe Iuvors cun do Ior vou?"
"TIuL'II be enougI," Ie suId.
One oI LIe gIrIs run up uIeud. "MIne's jusL been cIunged. BrIng
IIm down Iere," sIe suId.
n u Iew mInuLes Mr. NorLon wus IvIng upon u LIree-quurLer bed,
IuInLIv breuLIIng. wuLcIed LIe IuL mun bend over IIm verv
proIessIonuIIv und IeeI Ior IIs puIse.
"You u docLor?" u gIrI usked.
"NoL now, 'm u puLIenL. BuL Iuve u cerLuIn knowIedge."
AnoLIer one, LIougIL, pusIIng IIm quIckIv usIde. "He'II be uII
rIgIL. eL IIm come Lo so cun geL IIm ouL oI Iere."
"You needn'L worrv, 'm noL IIke LIose down LIere, voung IeIIow,"
Ie suId. " reuIIv wus u docLor. won'L IurL IIm. He's Iud u mIId sIock
oI some kInd."
We wuLcIed IIm bend over Mr. NorLon uguIn, IeeIIng IIs puIse,
puIIIng buck IIs eveIId.
"L's u mIId sIock," Ie repeuLed.
"TIIs Iere GoIden Duv Is enougI Lo sIock unvbodv," u gIrI suId,
smooLIIng Ier upron over LIe smooLI sensuous roII oI Ier sLomucI.
AnoLIer brusIed Mr. NorLon's wIILe IuIr uwuv Irom IIs IoreIeud
und sLroked IL, smIIIng vucunLIv. "He's kIndu cuLe," sIe suId. "JusL IIke u
IILLIe wIILe bubv."
"WIuL kIndu oIe bubv?" LIe smuII skInnv gIrI usked.
"TIuL's LIe kInd, un oIe bubv."
"You jusL IIke wIILe men, Ednu. TIuL's uII," LIe skInnv one suId.
Ednu sIook Ier Ieud und smIIed us LIougI umused uL IerseII. "
sIo do. jusL Iove 'em. Now LIIs one, oId us Ie Is, Ie couId puL IIs sIoes
under mv bed unv nIgIL."
"SIucks, me 'd kIII un oId mun IIke LIuL."
"KIII IIm noLIIng," Ednu suId. "GIrI, don'L vou know LIuL uII LIese
rIcI oIe wIILe men goL monkev gIunds und bIIIv gouL buIIs? TIese oIe
busLurds don'L never gIL enougI. TIev wunL Lo Iuve LIe wIoIe worId."
TIe docLor Iooked uL me und smIIed. "See, now vou're IeurnIng uII
ubouL endocrInoIogv," Ie suId. " wus wrong wIen LoId vou LIuL Ie
wus onIv u mun; IL seems now LIuL Ie's eILIer purL gouL or purL upe.
Muvbe Ie's boLI."
"L's LIe LruLI," Ednu suId. " used Lo Iuve me one In CIIcugo -"
"Now vou uIn'L never been Lo no CIIcugo, guI," LIe oLIer one
InLerrupLed.
"How vou know uIn'L? Two veurs ugo . . . SIucks, vou don'L know
noLIIng. TIuL oIe wIILe mun rIgIL LIere mIgIL Iuve IIm u coupIu
juckuss buIIs!"
TIe IuL mun ruIsed up wILI u quIck grIn. "As u scIenLIsL und u
pIvsIcIun 'm Iorced Lo dIscounL LIuL," Ie suId. "TIuL Is one operuLIon
LIuL Ius veL Lo be perIormed." TIen Ie munuged Lo geL LIe gIrIs ouL oI
LIe room.
"I Ie sIouId come uround und Ieur LIuL conversuLIon," LIe veL
suId, "IL wouId be enougI Lo send IIm oII uguIn. BesIdes, LIeIr scIenLIIIc
curIosILv mIgIL Ieud LIem Lo InvesLIguLe wIeLIer Ie reuIIv does Iuve u
monkev gIund. And LIuL, 'm uIruId, wouId be u bIL obscene."
"'ve goL Lo geL IIm buck Lo LIe scIooI," suId.
"AII rIgIL," Ie suId, "'II do wIuL cun Lo IeIp vou. Go see II vou
cun IInd some Ice. And don'L worrv."
wenL ouL on LIe buIconv, seeIng LIe Lops oI LIeIr Ieuds. TIev
were sLIII mIIIIng uround, LIe juke box buvIng, LIe pIuno LIumpIng, und
over uL LIe end oI LIe room, drencIed wILI beer, Supercurgo Iuv IIke u
spenL Iorse upon LIe bur.
SLurLIng down, noLIced u Iurge pIece oI Ice gIInLIng In LIe remuIns
oI un ubundoned drInk und seIzed ILs coIdness In mv IoL Iund und
IurrIed buck Lo LIe room.
TIe veL suL sLurIng uL Mr. NorLon, wIo now breuLIed wILI u
sIIgILIv IrreguIur sound.
"You were quIck," LIe mun suId, us Ie sLood und reucIed Ior LIe
Ice. "SwIIL wILI LIe speed oI unxIeLv," Ie udded, us II Lo IImseII. "Hund
me LIuL cIeun LoweI-LIere, Irom besIde LIe busIn."
Iunded IIm one, seeIng IIm IoId LIe Ice InsIde IL und uppIv IL Lo
Mr. NorLon's Iuce.
"s Ie uII rIgIL?" suId.
"He wIII be In u Iew mInuLes. WIuL Iuppened Lo IIm?"
" Look IIm Ior u drIve," suId.
"DId vou Iuve un uccIdenL or someLIIng?"
"No," suId. "He jusL LuIked Lo u Iurmer und LIe IeuL knocked IIm
ouL . . . TIen we goL cuugIL In LIe mob downsLuIrs."
"How oId Is Ie?"
" don'L know, buL Ie's one oI LIe LrusLees . . ."
"One oI LIe verv IIrsL, no doubL," Ie suId, dubbIng uL LIe bIue-
veIned eves. "A LrusLee oI conscIousness."
"WIuL wus LIuL?" usked.
"NoLIIng . . . TIere now, Ie's comIng ouL oI IL."
Iud un ImpuIse Lo run ouL oI LIe room. Ieured wIuL Mr. NorLon
wouId suv Lo me, LIe expressIon LIuL mIgIL come InLo IIs eves. And veL,
wus uIruId Lo Ieuve. Mv eves couId noL Ieuve LIe Iuce wILI ILs IIIckerIng
IIds. TIe Ieud moved Irom sIde Lo sIde In LIe puIe gIow oI LIe IIgIL
buIb, us LIougI denvIng some InsIsLenL voIce wIIcI couId noL Ieur.
TIen LIe IIds opened, reveuIIng puIe pooIs oI bIue vugueness LIuL
IInuIIv soIIdIIIed InLo poInLs LIuL Iroze upon LIe veL, wIo Iooked down
unsmIIIngIv.
Men IIke us dId noL Iook uL u mun IIke Mr. NorLon In LIuL munner,
und sLepped IurrIedIv Iorwurd.
"He's u reuI docLor, sIr," suId.
"'II expIuIn," LIe veL suId. "GeL u gIuss oI wuLer."
IesILuLed. He Iooked uL me IIrmIv. "GeL LIe wuLer," Ie suId,
LurnIng Lo IeIp Mr. NorLon Lo sIL up.
OuLsIde usked Ednu Ior u gIuss oI wuLer und sIe Ied me down LIe
IuII Lo u smuII kILcIen, druwIng IL Ior me Irom u green oId-IusIIoned
cooIer.
" goL some good IIquor, bubv, II vou wunL Lo gIve IIm u drInk,"
sIe suId.
"TIIs wIII do," suId. Mv Iunds LrembIed so LIuL LIe wuLer spIIIed.
WIen reLurned, Mr. NorLon wus sILLIng up unuIded, currvIng on u
conversuLIon wILI LIe veL.
"Here's some wuLer, sIr," suId, exLendIng LIe gIuss.
He Look IL. "TIunk vou," Ie suId.
"NoL Loo mucI," LIe veL cuuLIoned.
"Your dIugnosIs Is exucLIv LIuL oI mv specIuIIsL," Mr. NorLon suId,
"und wenL Lo severuI IIne pIvsIcIuns beIore one couId dIugnose IL.
How dId vou know?"
" Loo wus u specIuIIsL," LIe veL suId.
"BuL Iow? OnIv u Iew men In LIe wIoIe counLrv possess LIe
knowIedge -"
"TIen one oI LIem Is un InmuLe oI u semI-mudIouse," LIe veL suId.
"BuL LIere's noLIIng mvsLerIous ubouL IL. escuped Ior u wIIIe- wenL
Lo runce wILI LIe Armv MedIcuI Corps und remuIned LIere uILer LIe
ArmIsLIce Lo sLudv und prucLIce."
"OI ves, und Iow Iong were vou In runce?" Mr. NorLon usked.
"ong enougI," Ie suId. "ong enougI Lo IorgeL some
IundumenLuIs wIIcI sIouId never Iuve IorgoLLen."
"WIuL IundumenLuIs?" Mr. NorLon suId. "WIuL do vou meun?"
TIe veL smIIed und cocked IIs Ieud. "TIIngs ubouL IIIe. SucI
LIIngs us mosL peusunLs und IoIk peopIes uImosL uIwuvs know LIrougI
experIence, LIougI seIdom LIrougI conscIous LIougIL . . ."
"Purdon me, sIr," suId Lo Mr. NorLon, "buL now LIuL vou IeeI
beLLer, sIouIdn'L we go?"
"NoL jusL veL," Ie suId. TIen Lo LIe docLor, "'m verv InLeresLed.
WIuL Iuppened Lo vou?" A drop oI wuLer cuugIL In one oI IIs evebrows
gIILLered IIke u cIIp oI ucLIve dIumond. wenL over und suL on u cIuIr.
Dumn LIIs veL Lo IeII!
"Are vou sure vou wouId IIke Lo Ieur?" LIe veL usked.
"WIv, oI course."
"TIen perIups LIe voung IeIIow sIouId go downsLuIrs und wuIL . .
."
TIe sound oI sIouLIng und desLrucLIon weIIed up Irom beIow us
opened LIe door.
"No, perIups vou sIouId sLuv," LIe IuL mun suId. "PerIups Iud
overIeurd some oI wIuL 'm ubouL Lo LeII vou wIen wus u sLudenL up
LIere on LIe IIII, wouIdn'L be LIe cusuuILv LIuL um."
"SIL down, voung mun," Mr. NorLon ordered. "So vou were u
sLudenL uL LIe coIIege," Ie suId Lo LIe veL.
suL down uguIn, worrvIng ubouL Dr. BIedsoe us LIe IuL mun LoId
Mr. NorLon oI IIs uLLendIng coIIege, LIen becomIng u pIvsIcIun und
goIng Lo runce durIng LIe WorId Wur.
"Were vou u successIuI pIvsIcIun?" Mr. NorLon suId.
"uIrIv so. perIormed u Iew bruIn surgerIes LIuL won me some
smuII uLLenLIon."
"TIen wIv dId vou reLurn?"
"NosLuIgIu," LIe veL suId.
"TIen wIuL on eurLI ure vou doIng Iere In LIIs . . . ?" Mr. NorLon
suId, "WILI vour ubIIILv . . ."
"UIcers," LIe IuL mun suId.
"TIuL's LerrIbIv unIorLunuLe, buL wIv sIouId uIcers sLop vour
cureer?"
"NoL reuIIv, buL Ieurned uIong wILI LIe uIcers LIuL mv work couId
brIng me no dIgnILv," LIe veL suId.
"Now vou sound bILLer," Mr. NorLon suId, jusL us LIe door IIew
open.
A brown-skInned womun wILI red IuIr Iooked In. "How's wIILe-
IoIks mukIng ouL?" sIe suId, sLuggerIng InsIde. "WIILe-IoIks, bubv, vou
done come Lo. You wunL u drInk?"
"NoL now, HesLer," LIe veL suId. "He's sLIII u IILLIe weuk."
"He sIo Iooks IL. TIuL's Iow come Ie needs u drInk. PuL some Iron
In IIs bIood."
"Now, now, HesLer."
"Okuv, okuv . . . BuL wIuL v'uII doIng IookIng IIke vou uL u IuneruI?
Don'L vou know LIIs Is LIe GoIden Duv?" sIe sLuggered Lowurd me,
beIcIIng eIegunLIv und reeIIng. "JusL Iook uL v'uII. Here scIooI-bov
Iooks IIke Ie's scured Lo deuLI. And wIILe-IoIks Iere Is ucLIng IIke v'uII
Lwo sLrunge poodIes. Be Iuppv v'uII! 'm goIng down und geL HuIIev Lo
send vou up some drInks." SIe puLLed Mr. NorLon's cIeek us sIe wenL
pusL und suw IIm Lurn u gIowIng red. "Be Iuppv, wIILe-IoIks."
"AI IuI!" LIe veL IuugIed, "vou're bIusIIng, wIIcI meuns LIuL
vou're beLLer. Don'L be emburrussed. HesLer Is u greuL IumunILurIun, u
LIerupIsL oI generous nuLure und greuL skIII, und LIe possessor oI u
IeuIIng LoucI. Her cuLIursIs Is ubsoIuLeIv Lremendous-Iu, Iu!"
"You do Iook beLLer, sIr," suId, unxIous Lo geL ouL oI LIe pIuce.
couId undersLund LIe veL's words buL noL wIuL LIev conveved, und Mr.
NorLon Iooked us uncomIorLubIe us IeIL. TIe one LIIng wIIcI dId
know wus LIuL LIe veL wus ucLIng Lowurd LIe wIILe mun wILI u Ireedom
wIIcI couId onIv brIng on LroubIe. wunLed Lo LeII Mr. NorLon LIuL LIe
mun wus cruzv und veL receIved u IeurIuI suLIsIucLIon Irom IeurIng
IIm LuIk us Ie Iud Lo u wIILe mun. WILI LIe gIrI IL wus dIIIerenL. A
womun usuuIIv goL uwuv wILI LIIngs u mun never couId.
wus weL wILI unxIeLv, buL LIe veL LuIked on, IgnorIng LIe
InLerrupLIon.
"ResL, resL," Ie suId, IIxIng Mr. NorLon wILI IIs eves. "TIe cIocks
ure uII seL buck und LIe Iorces oI desLrucLIon ure rumpunL down beIow.
TIev mIgIL suddenIv reuIIze LIuL vou ure wIuL vou ure, und LIen vour
IIIe wouIdn'L be worLI u pIece oI bunkrupL sLock. You wouId be
cunceIed, perIoruLed, voIded, become LIe recognIzed mugneL uLLrucLIng
Ioose screws. TIen wIuL wouId vou do? SucI men ure bevond monev,
und wILI Supercurgo down, ouL IIke u IeIIed ox, LIev know noLIIng oI
vuIue. To some, vou ure LIe greuL wIILe IuLIer, Lo oLIers LIe IvncIer oI
souIs, buL Ior uII, vou ure conIusIon come even InLo LIe GoIden Duv."
"WIuL ure vou LuIkIng ubouL?" suId, LIInkIng: vncIer? He wus
geLLIng wIIder LIun LIe men downsLuIrs. dIdn'L dure Iook uL Mr.
NorLon, wIo mude u sound oI proLesL.
TIe veL Irowned. "L Is un Issue wIIcI cun conIronL onIv bv
evudIng IL. An uLLerIv sLupId proposILIon, und LIese Iunds so IovIngIv
LruIned Lo musLer u scuIpeI veurn Lo curess u LrIgger. reLurned Lo suve
IIIe und wus reIused," Ie suId. "Ten men In musks drove me ouL Irom
LIe cILv uL mIdnIgIL und beuL me wILI wIIps Ior suvIng u Iumun IIIe.
And wus Iorced Lo LIe uLmosL degruduLIon becuuse possessed skIIIed
Iunds und LIe beIIeI LIuL mv knowIedge couId brIng me dIgnILv-noL
weuILI, onIv dIgnILv-und oLIer men IeuILI!"
TIen suddenIv Ie IIxed me wILI IIs eves. "And now, do vou
undersLund?"
"WIuL?" suId.
"WIuL vou've Ieurd!"
" don'L know."
"WIv?"
suId, " reuIIv LIInk IL's LIme we IeIL."
"You see," Ie suId LurnIng Lo Mr. NorLon, "Ie Ius eves und eurs
und u good dIsLended AIrIcun nose, buL Ie IuIIs Lo undersLund LIe
sImpIe IucLs oI IIIe. UndersLund. UndersLund? L's worse LIun LIuL. He
regIsLers wILI IIs senses buL sIorL-cIrcuILs IIs bruIn. NoLIIng Ius
meunIng. He Lukes IL In buL Ie doesn'L dIgesL IL. AIreudv Ie Is-weII,
bIess mv souI! BeIoId! u wuIkIng zombIe! AIreudv Ie's Ieurned Lo
repress noL onIv IIs emoLIons buL IIs IumunILv. He's InvIsIbIe, u
wuIkIng personIIIcuLIon oI LIe NeguLIve, LIe mosL perIecL ucIIevemenL
oI vour dreums, sIr! TIe mecIunIcuI mun!"
Mr. NorLon Iooked umuzed.
"TeII me," LIe veL suId, suddenIv cuIm. "WIv Iuve vou been
InLeresLed In LIe scIooI, Mr. NorLon?"
"OuL oI u sense oI mv desLIned roIe," Mr. NorLon suId sIukIIv. "
IeIL, und sLIII IeeI, LIuL vour peopIe ure In some ImporLunL munner LIed
Lo mv desLInv."
"WIuL do vou meun, desLInv?" LIe veL suId.
"WIv, LIe success oI mv work, oI course."
" see. And wouId vou recognIze IL II vou suw IL?"
"WIv, oI course wouId," Mr. NorLon suId IndIgnunLIv. "'ve
wuLcIed IL grow eucI veur 've reLurned Lo LIe cumpus."
"Cumpus? WIv LIe cumpus?"
"L Is LIere LIuL mv desLInv Is beIng mude."
TIe veL expIoded wILI IuugILer. "TIe cumpus, wIuL u desLInv!" He
sLood und wuIked uround LIe nurrow room, IuugIIng. TIen Ie sLopped
us suddenIv us Ie Iud begun.
"You wIII IurdIv recognIze IL, buL IL Is verv IILLIng LIuL vou cume Lo
LIe GoIden Duv wILI LIe voung IeIIow," Ie suId.
" cume ouL oI IIIness-or ruLIer, Ie brougIL me," Mr. NorLon suId.
"OI course, buL vou cume, und IL wus IILLIng."
"WIuL do vou meun?" Mr. NorLon suId wILI IrrILuLIon.
"A IILLIe cIIId sIuII Ieud LIem," LIe veL suId wILI u smIIe. "BuL
serIousIv, becuuse vou boLI IuII Lo undersLund wIuL Is IuppenIng Lo
vou. You cunnoL see or Ieur or smeII LIe LruLI oI wIuL vou see-und
vou, IookIng Ior desLInv! L's cIussIc! And LIe bov, LIIs uuLomuLon, Ie
wus mude oI LIe verv mud oI LIe regIon und Ie sees Iur Iess LIun vou.
Poor sLumbIers, neILIer oI vou cun see LIe oLIer. To vou Ie Is u murk
on LIe score-curd oI vour ucIIevemenL, u LIIng und noL u mun; u cIIId,
or even Iess-u bIuck umorpIous LIIng. And vou, Ior uII vour power, ure
noL u mun Lo IIm, buL u God, u Iorce -"
Mr. NorLon sLood ubrupLIv. "eL us go, voung mun," Ie suId
ungrIIv.
"No, IIsLen. He beIIeves In vou us Ie beIIeves In LIe beuL oI IIs
IeurL. He beIIeves In LIuL greuL IuIse wIsdom LuugIL sIuves und
prugmuLIsLs uIIke, LIuL wIILe Is rIgIL. cun LeII vou IIs desLInv. He'II do
vour bIddIng, und Ior LIuL IIs bIIndness Is IIs cIIeI usseL. He's vour
mun, IrIend. Your mun und vour desLInv. Now LIe Lwo oI vou descend
LIe sLuIrs InLo cIuos und geL LIe IeII ouL oI Iere. 'm sIck oI boLI oI vou
pILIIuI obscenILIes! GeL ouL beIore do vou boLI LIe Iuvor oI busIIng In
vour Ieuds!"
suw IIs moLIon Lowurd LIe bIg wIILe pILcIer on LIe wusIsLund
und sLepped beLween IIm und Mr. NorLon, guIdIng Mr. NorLon swIILIv
LIrougI LIe doorwuv. ookIng buck, suw IIm IeunIng uguInsL LIe wuII
mukIng u sound LIuL wus u bIendIng oI IuugILer und Leurs.
"Hurrv, LIe mun Is us Insune us LIe resL," Mr. NorLon suId.
"Yes, sIr," suId, noLIcIng u new noLe In IIs voIce.
TIe buIconv wus now us noIsv us LIe IIoor beIow. TIe gIrIs und
drunken veLs were sLumbIIng ubouL wILI drInks In LIeIr Iunds. JusL us
we wenL pusL un open door Ednu suw us und grubbed mv urm.
"WIere vou LukIng wIILe-IoIks?" sIe demunded.
"Buck Lo scIooI," suId, sIukIng Ier oII.
"You don'L wunL Lo go up LIere, wIILe-IoIks, bubv," sIe suId. LrIed
Lo pusI pusL Ier. " uIn'L IvIng," sIe suId. "'m LIe besL IILLIe Iome-
muker In LIe busIness."
"Okuv, buL pIeuse IeL us uIone," pIeuded. "You'II geL me InLo
LroubIe."
We were goIng down LIe sLuIrs InLo LIe mIIIIng men now und sIe
sLurLed Lo screum, "Puv me LIen! I Ie's Loo good Ior me, IeL IIm puv!"
And beIore couId sLop Ier sIe Iud pusIed Mr. NorLon, und boLI
oI us were sLumbIIng swIILIv down LIe sLuIrs. Iunded uguInsL u mun
wIo Iooked up wILI LIe unonvmous IumIIIurILv oI u drunk und sIoved
me Iurd uwuv. suw Mr. NorLon spIn pusL us sunk IurLIer InLo LIe
crowd. SomewIere couId Ieur LIe gIrI screumIng und HuIIev's voIce
veIIIng, "Hev! Hev! Hev, now!" TIen wus uwure oI IresI uIr und suw
LIuL wus neur LIe door und pusIed mv wuv Iree und sLood punLIng
und prepurIng Lo pIunge buck Ior Mr. NorLon-wIen Ieurd HuIIev
cuIIIng, "Muke wuv v'uII!" und suw IIm pIIoLIng Mr. NorLon Lo LIe door.
"WIew!" Ie suId, reIeusIng LIe wIILe mun und sIukIng IIs Iuge
Ieud.
"TIunks, HuIIev -" suId und goL no IurLIer.
suw Mr. NorLon, IIs Iuce puIe uguIn, IIs wIILe suIL rumpIed,
LoppIe und IuII, IIs Ieud scrupIng uguInsL LIe screen oI LIe door.
"Hev!"
opened LIe door und ruIsed IIm up.
"GoddumIL, ouL ugIn," HuIIev suId. "How come vou brIng LIIs
wIILe mun Iere, scIooI-bov?"
"s Ie deud?"
"DEAD!" Ie suId, sLeppIng buck IndIgnunLIv. "He cuInL dIe!"
"WIuL'II do, HuIIev?"
"NoL In mv pIuce, Ie cuInL dIe," Ie suId, kneeIIng.
Mr. NorLon Iooked up. "No one Is deud or dvIng," Ie suId ucIdIv.
"Remove vour Iunds!"
HuIIev IeII uwuv, surprIsed. " sIo um gIud. You sIo vou uII rIgIL?
LIougIL sIo vou wus deud LIIs LIme."
"or God's suke, be quIeL!" expIoded nervousIv. "You sIouId be
gIud LIuL Ie's uII rIgIL."
Mr. NorLon wus vIsIbIv ungrv now, u ruw pIuce sIowIng on IIs
IoreIeud, und IurrIed uIeud oI IIm Lo LIe cur. He cIImbed In unuIded,
und goL under LIe wIeeI, smeIIIng LIe IeuLed odor oI mInLs und cIgur
smoke. He wus sIIenL us drove uwuv.
CIupLer q
TIe wIeeI IeIL IIke un uIIen LIIng In mv Iunds us IoIIowed LIe
wIILe IIne oI LIe IIgIwuv. HeuL ruvs Irom LIe IuLe uILernoon sun urose
Irom LIe gruv concreLe, sIImmerIng IIke LIe weurv Lones oI u dIsLunL
bugIe bIown upon sLIII mIdnIgIL uIr. n LIe mIrror couId see Mr.
NorLon sLurIng ouL vucunLIv upon LIe empLv IIeIds, IIs mouLI sLern, IIs
wIILe IoreIeud IIvId wIere IL Iud scruped LIe screen. And seeIng IIm
IeIL LIe Ieur buIIed coIdIv wILIIn me unIoId. WIuL wouId Iuppen now?
WIuL wouId LIe scIooI oIIIcIuIs suv? n mv mInd vIsuuIIzed Dr.
BIedsoe's Iuce wIen Ie suw Mr. NorLon. LIougIL oI LIe gIee cerLuIn
IoIks uL Iome wouId IeeI II were expeIIed. TuLIock's grInnIng Iuce
dunced LIrougI mv mInd. WIuL wouId LIe wIILe IoIks LIInk wIo'd senL
me Lo coIIege? Wus Mr. NorLon ungrv uL me? n LIe GoIden Duv Ie Iud
seemed more curIous LIun unvLIIng eIse-unLII LIe veL Iud sLurLed
LuIkIng wIId. Dumn TruebIood. L wus IIs IuuIL. I we Iudn'L suL In LIe
sun so Iong Mr. NorLon wouId noL Iuve needed wIIskev und wouIdn'L
Iuve gone Lo LIe GoIden Duv. And wIv wouId LIe veLs ucL LIuL wuv wILI
u wIILe mun In LIe Iouse?
Ieuded LIe cur LIrougI LIe red-brIck cumpus guLeposLs wILI u
sense oI coId uppreIensIon. Now even LIe rows oI neuL dormILorIes
seemed Lo LIreuLen me, LIe roIIIng Iuwns uppeurIng us IosLIIe us LIe
gruv IIgIwuv wILI ILs wIILe dIvIdIng IIne. As oI ILs own compuIsIon, LIe
cur sIowed us we pussed LIe cIupeI wILI ILs Iow, sweepIng euves. TIe
sun sIone cooIIv LIrougI LIe uvenue oI Lrees, duppIIng LIe curvIng
drIve. SLudenLs sLroIIed LIrougI LIe sIude, down u IIII oI Lender gruss
Lowurd LIe brIck-red sLreLcI oI LennIs courLs. ur bevond, pIuvers In
wIILes sIowed sIurp uguInsL LIe red oI LIe courLs surrounded bv gruss,
u guv vIsLu wusIed bv LIe sun. n LIe brIeI InLervuI Ieurd u cIeer urIse.
Mv predIcumenL sLruck me IIke u sLub. Iud u sense oI IosIng conLroI oI
LIe cur und sIummed on LIe brukes In LIe mIddIe oI LIe roud, LIen
upoIogIzed und drove on. Here wILIIn LIIs quIeL greenness possessed
LIe onIv IdenLILv Iud ever known, und wus IosIng IL. n LIIs brIeI
momenL oI pussuge becume uwure oI LIe connecLIon beLween LIese
Iuwns und buIIdIngs und mv Iopes und dreums. wunLed Lo sLop LIe
cur und LuIk wILI Mr. NorLon, Lo beg IIs purdon Ior wIuL Ie Iud seen;
Lo pIeud und sIow IIm Leurs, unusIumed Leurs IIke LIose oI u cIIId
beIore IIs purenL; Lo denounce uII we'd seen und Ieurd; Lo ussure IIm
LIuL Iur Irom beIng IIke unv oI LIe peopIe we Iud seen, IuLed LIem,
LIuL beIIeved In LIe prIncIpIes oI LIe ounder wILI uII mv IeurL und
souI, und LIuL beIIeved In IIs own goodness und kIndness In
exLendIng LIe Iund oI IIs benevoIence Lo IeIpIng us poor, IgnorunL
peopIe ouL oI LIe mIre und durkness. wouId do IIs bIddIng und LeucI
oLIers Lo rIse up us Ie wIsIed LIem Lo, LeucI LIem Lo be LIrIILv, decenL,
uprIgIL cILIzens, conLrIbuLIng Lo LIe weIIure oI uII, sIunnIng uII buL LIe
sLruIgIL und nurrow puLI LIuL Ie und LIe ounder Iud sLreLcIed beIore
us. I onIv Ie were noL ungrv wILI me! I onIv Ie wouId gIve me unoLIer
cIunce!
Teurs IIIIed mv eves, und LIe wuIks und buIIdIngs IIowed und Iroze
Ior u momenL In mIsL, gIILLerIng us In wInLer wIen ruIn Iroze on LIe
gruss und IoIIuge und Lurned LIe cumpus InLo u worId oI wIILeness,
weIgILIng und bendIng boLI Lrees und busIes wILI IruIL oI crvsLuI. TIen
In LIe LwInkIIng oI mv eves, IL wus gone, und LIe Iere und now oI IeuL
und greenness reLurned. I onIv couId muke Mr. NorLon undersLund
wIuL LIe scIooI meunL Lo me.
"SIuII sLop uL vour rooms, sIr?" suId. "Or sIuII Luke vou Lo LIe
udmInIsLruLIon buIIdIng? Dr. BIedsoe mIgIL be worrIed."
"To mv rooms, LIen brIng Dr. BIedsoe Lo me," Ie unswered
LerseIv.
"Yes, sIr."
n LIe mIrror suw IIm dubbIng gIngerIv uL IIs IoreIeud wILI u
crInkIed IundkercIIeI. "You'd beLLer send LIe scIooI pIvsIcIun Lo me
uIso," Ie suId.
sLopped LIe cur In IronL oI u smuII buIIdIng wILI wIILe pIIIurs IIke
LIose oI un oId pIunLuLIon munor Iouse, goL ouL und opened LIe door.
"Mr. NorLon, pIeuse, sIr . . . 'm sorrv . . . -"
He Iooked uL me sLernIv, IIs eves nurrowed, suvIng noLIIng.
" dIdn'L know . . . pIeuse . . ."
"Send Dr. BIedsoe Lo me," Ie suId, LurnIng uwuv und swIngIng up
LIe gruveIed puLI Lo LIe buIIdIng.
goL buck InLo LIe cur und drove sIowIv Lo LIe udmInIsLruLIon
buIIdIng. A gIrI wuved guIIv us pussed, u buncI oI vIoIeLs In Ier Iund.
Two LeucIers In durk suILs LuIked decorousIv besIde u broken IounLuIn.
TIe buIIdIng wus quIeL. GoIng upsLuIrs vIsuuIIzed Dr. BIedsoe,
wILI IIs broud gIobuIur Iuce LIuL seemed Lo Luke ILs Iorm Irom LIe IuL
pressIng Irom LIe InsIde, wIIcI, us uIr pressIng uguInsL LIe membrune
oI u buIIoon, guve IL sIupe und buovuncv. "OId BuckeL-Ieud," some oI
LIe IeIIows cuIIed IIm. never Iud. He Iud been kInd Lo me Irom LIe
IIrsL, perIups becuuse oI LIe IeLLers wIIcI LIe scIooI superInLendenL
Iud senL Lo IIm wIen urrIved. BuL more LIun LIuL, Ie wus LIe
exumpIe oI evervLIIng Ioped Lo be: nIIuenLIuI wILI weuILIv men uII
over LIe counLrv; consuILed In muLLers concernIng LIe ruce; u Ieuder oI
IIs peopIe; LIe possessor oI noL one, buL Lwo CudIIIucs, u good suIurv
und u soIL, good-IookIng und creumv-compIexIoned wIIe. WIuL wus
more, wIIIe bIuck und buId und evervLIIng wIILe IoIks poked Iun uL, Ie
Iud ucIIeved power und uuLIorILv; Iud, wIIIe bIuck und wrInkIe-
Ieuded, mude IImseII oI more ImporLunce In LIe worId LIun mosL
SouLIern wIILe men. TIev couId IuugI uL IIm buL LIev couIdn'L Ignore
IIm.
"He's been IookIng uII over Ior vou," LIe gIrI uL LIe desk suId.
WIen wuIked In Ie Iooked up Irom LIe LeIepIone und suId,
"Never mInd, Ie's Iere now," und Iung up. "WIere's Mr. NorLon?" Ie
demunded excILedIv. "s Ie uII rIgIL?"
"Yes, sIr. IeIL IIm uL IIs rooms und cume Lo drIve vou down. He
wIsIes Lo see vou."
"s unvLIIng wrong?" Ie suId, geLLIng up IurrIedIv und comIng
uround LIe desk. IesILuLed.
"WeII, Is LIere!"
TIe punIckv beuLIng oI mv IeurL seemed Lo bIur mv vIsIon.
"NoL now, sIr."
"Now? WIuL do vou meun?"
"WeII, sIr, Ie Iud some kInd oI IuInLIng speII."
"Aw, mv God! knew someLIIng wus wrong. WIv dIdn'L vou geL In
LoucI wILI me?" He grubbed IIs bIuck Iomburg, sLurLIng Ior LIe door.
"Come on!"
IoIIowed IIm, LrvIng Lo expIuIn. "He's uII over IL now, sIr, und we
were Loo Iur uwuv Ior me Lo pIone . . ."
"WIv dId vou Luke IIm so Iur?" Ie suId, movIng wILI greuL
busLIIng energv.
"BuL drove IIm wIere Ie wunLed Lo go, sIr."
"WIere wus LIuL?"
"Buck oI LIe sIuve-quurLer secLIon," suId wILI dreud.
"TIe quurLers! Bov, ure vou u IooI? DIdn'L vou know beLLer LIun Lo
Luke u LrusLee ouL LIere?"
"He usked me Lo, sIr."
We were goIng down LIe wuIk now, LIrougI LIe sprIng uIr, und Ie
sLopped Lo Iook uL me wILI exusperuLIon, us LIougI 'd suddenIv LoId
IIm bIuck wus wIILe.
"Dumn wIuL Ie wunLs," Ie suId, cIImbIng In LIe IronL seuL besIde
me. "Huven'L vou LIe sense God guve u dog? We Luke LIese wIILe IoIks
wIere we wunL LIem Lo go, we sIow LIem wIuL we wunL LIem Lo see.
Don'L vou know LIuL? LIougIL vou Iud some sense."
ReucIIng Rubb HuII, sLopped LIe cur, weuk wILI bewIIdermenL.
"Don'L sIL LIere," Ie suId. "Come wILI me!"
JusL InsIde LIe buIIdIng goL unoLIer sIock. As we upproucIed u
mIrror Dr. BIedsoe sLopped und composed IIs ungrv Iuce IIke u
scuIpLor, mukIng IL u bIund musk, IeuvIng onIv LIe spurkIe oI IIs eves Lo
beLruv LIe emoLIon LIuL Iud seen onIv u momenL beIore. He Iooked
sLeudIIv uL IImseII Ior u momenL; LIen we moved quIeLIv down LIe
sIIenL IuII und up LIe sLuIrs.
A co-ed suL uL u gruceIuI LubIe sLucked wILI muguzInes. BeIore u
greuL wIndow sLood u Iurge uquurIum conLuInIng coIored sLones und u
smuII repIIcu oI u IeuduI cusLIe surrounded bv goIdIIsI LIuL seemed Lo
remuIn moLIonIess despILe LIe IIuLLerIng oI LIeIr Iucv IIns, u momenLurv
moLIonIuI suspensIon oI LIme.
"s Mr. NorLon In IIs room?" Ie suId Lo LIe gIrI.
"YessIr, Dr. BIedsoe, sIr," sIe suId. "He suId Lo LeII vou Lo come In
wIen vou goL Iere."
PuusIng uL LIe door Ieurd IIm cIeur IIs LIrouL, LIen rup soILIv
upon LIe puneI wILI IIs IIsL.
"Mr. NorLon?" Ie suId, IIs IIps uIreudv u smIIe. And uL LIe unswer
IoIIowed IIm InsIde.
L wus u Iurge IIgIL room. Mr. NorLon suL In u Iuge wIng cIuIr wILI
IIs juckeL oII. A cIunge oI cIoLIIng Iuv on LIe cooI bedspreud. Above u
spucIous IIrepIuce un oII porLruIL oI LIe ounder Iooked down uL me
remoLeIv, benIgn, sud, und In LIuL IoL InsLunL, proIoundIv dIsIIIusIoned.
TIen u veII seemed Lo IuII.
"'ve been worrIed ubouL vou, sIr," Dr. BIedsoe suId. "We expecLed
vou uL LIe uILernoon sessIon . . ."
Now IL's begInnIng, LIougIL. Now -
And suddenIv Ie rusIed Iorwurd. "Mr. NorLon, vour Ieud!" Ie
crIed, u sLrunge grundmoLIerIv concern In IIs voIce. "WIuL Iuppened,
sIr?"
"L's noLIIng." Mr. NorLon's Iuce wus ImmobIIe. "A mere scruLcI."
Dr. BIedsoe wIIrIed uround, IIs Iuce ouLruged. "GeL LIe docLor
over Iere," Ie suId. "WIv dIdn'L vou LeII me LIuL Mr. NorLon Iud been
Injured?"
"'ve uIreudv Luken cure oI LIuL, sIr," suId soILIv, seeIng IIm wIIrI
buck.
"Mr. NorLon, MIsLer NorLon! 'm so sorrv," Ie crooned. " LIougIL
Iud senL vou u bov wIo wus cureIuI, u sensIbIe voung mun! WIv we've
never Iud un uccIdenL beIore. Never, noL In sevenLv-IIve veurs. ussure
vou, sIr, LIuL Ie sIuII be dIscIpIIned, severeIv dIscIpIIned!"
"BuL LIere wus no uuLomobIIe uccIdenL," Mr. NorLon suId kIndIv,
"nor wus LIe bov responsIbIe. You muv send IIm uwuv, we won'L need
IIm now."
Mv eves suddenIv IIIIed. IeIL u wuve oI gruLILude uL IIs words.
"Don'L be kInd, sIr," Dr. BIedsoe suId. "You cun'L be soIL wILI LIese
peopIe. We musLn'L pumper LIem. An uccIdenL Lo u guesL oI LIIs coIIege
wIIIe Ie Is In LIe cIurge oI u sLudenL Is wILIouL quesLIon LIe sLudenL's
IuuIL. TIuL's one oI our sLrIcLesL ruIes!" TIen Lo me: "ReLurn Lo vour
dormILorv und remuIn LIere unLII IurLIer noLIce!"
"BuL IL wus ouL oI mv conLroI, sIr," suId, "jusL us Mr. NorLon suId .
. ."
"'II expIuIn, voung mun," Mr. NorLon suId wILI u IuII-smIIe.
"EvervLIIng wIII be expIuIned."
"TIunk vou, sIr," suId, seeIng Dr. BIedsoe IookIng uL me wILI no
cIunge oI expressIon.
"On second LIougIL," Ie suId, " wunL vou Lo be In cIupeI LIIs
evenIng, undersLund me, sIr?"
"Yes, sIr."
opened LIe door wILI u coId Iund, bumpIng InLo LIe gIrI wIo Iud
been uL LIe LubIe wIen we wenL InsIde.
"'m sorrv," sIe suId. "ooks IIke vou Iuve oId BuckeL-Ieud kInd oI
mud."
suId noLIIng us sIe wuIked besIde me expecLunLIv. A red sun cusL
ILs IIgIL upon LIe cumpus us sLurLed Ior mv dormILorv.
"WIII vou Luke u messuge Lo mv bov IrIend Ior me?" sIe suId.
"WIo Is Ie?" suId, LrvIng Iurd Lo conceuI mv LensIon und Ieur.
"Juck MusLon," sIe suId.
"Okuv, Ie's In LIe room nexL Lo mIne."
"TIuL's sweII," sIe suId wILI u bIg smIIe. "TIe deun puL me on duLv
so mIssed IIm LIIs uILernoon. JusL LeII IIm LIuL suId LIe gruss Is
green . . ."
"WIuL?"
"TIe gruss Is green. L's our secreL code, Ie'II undersLund."
"TIe gruss Is green," suId.
"TIuL's IL. TIunk vou, Iover," sIe suId.
IeIL IIke cursIng us wuLcIed Ier IurrvIng buck InLo LIe buIIdIng,
IeurIng Ier IIuL-IeeIed sIoes cruncIIng LIe gruveIed wuIk. Here sIe
wus pIuvIng wILI some sIIIv secreL code uL LIe verv mInuLe mv IuLe Ior
LIe resI oI mv IIIe wus beIng decIded. TIe gruss wus green und LIev'd
meeL und sIe'd be senL Iome pregnunL, buL even so, In Iess dIsgruce
LIun . . . I onIv knew wIuL LIev were suvIng ubouL me . . . SuddenIv
Iud un Ideu und run uILer Ier, InLo LIe buIIdIng und up LIe sLuIrs.
n LIe IuII, IIne dusL pIuved In u sIuIL oI sunIIgIL, sLIrred bv Ier
IurrIed pussIng. BuL sIe Iud dIsuppeured. Iud LIougIL Lo usk Ier Lo
IIsLen uL LIe door und LeII me wIuL wus suId. guve IL up; II sIe were
dIscovered, 'd Iuve LIuL on mv conscIence Loo. BesIdes, wus usIumed
Ior unvone Lo know oI mv predIcumenL, IL wus Loo sLupId Lo be beIIeved.
Down LIe Iong IengLI oI LIe wIde IuII Ieurd someone unseen
skIppIng down LIe sLuIrs sIngIng. A gIrI's sweeL, IopeIuI voIce. IeIL
quIeLIv und IurrIed Lo mv dorm.
Iuv In mv room wILI mv eves cIosed, LrvIng Lo LIInk. TIe LensIon
grIpped mv InsIdes. TIen Ieurd someone comIng up LIe IuII und
sLIIIened. Hud LIev senL Ior me uIreudv? Neurbv u door opened und
cIosed, IeuvIng me us Lense us ever. To wIom couId Lurn Ior IeIp?
couId LIInk oI no one. No one Lo wIom couId even expIuIn wIuL Iud
Iuppened uL LIe GoIden Duv. EvervLIIng wus upseL InsIde me. And Dr.
BIedsoe's uLLILude Lowurd Mr. NorLon wus LIe mosL conIusIng oI uII.
dured noL repeuL wIuL Ie'd suId, Ior Ieur LIuL IL wouId Iessen mv
cIunces oI remuInIng In scIooI. L jusL wusn'L Lrue, Iud
mIsundersLood. He couIdn'L Iuve suId wIuL LIougIL Ie Iud suId.
Hudn'L seen IIm upproucI wIILe vIsILors Loo oILen wILI IIs IuL In
Iund, bowIng IumbIv und respecLIuIIv? Hudn'L Ie reIused Lo euL In LIe
dInIng IuII wILI wIILe guesLs oI LIe scIooI, enLerIng onIv uILer LIev Iud
IInIsIed und LIen reIusIng Lo sIL down, buL remuInIng sLundIng, IIs IuL
In IIs Iund, wIIIe Ie uddressed LIem eIoquenLIv, LIen IeuvIng wILI u
IumbIe bow? Hudn'L Ie, Iudn'L Ie? Iud seen IIm Loo oILen us
peeped LIrougI LIe door beLween LIe dInIng room und LIe kILcIen,
mvseII. And wusn'L IIs IuvorILe spIrILuuI "Ive-u-HumbIe"? And In LIe
cIupeI on Sunduv evenIngs upon LIe pIuLIorm, Iudn'L Ie uIwuvs LuugIL
us Lo IIve conLenL In our pIuce In u LIousund unumbIguous words? He
Iud und Iud beIIeved IIm. Iud beIIeved wILIouL quesLIon IIs
IIIusLruLIons oI LIe good wIIcI cume oI IoIIowIng LIe ounder's puLI. L
wus mv uIIIrmuLIon oI IIIe und LIev couIdn'L send me uwuv Ior
someLIIng dIdn'L do. TIev sImpIv couIdn'L. BuL LIuL veL! He wus so
cruzv LIuL Ie corrupLed sune men. He Iud LrIed Lo Lurn LIe worId InsIde
ouL, goddumn IIm! He Iud mude Mr. NorLon ungrv. He Iud no rIgIL Lo
LuIk Lo u wIILe mun us Ie Iud, noL wILI me Lo Luke LIe punIsImenL . . .
Someone sIook me und recoIIed, mv Iegs moIsL und LrembIIng. L
wus mv roommuLe.
"WIuL LIe IeII, roomv," Ie suId. "eL's go Lo cIow."
Iooked uL IIs conIIdenL mug; Ie wus goIng Lo be u Iurmer.
" don'L Iuve un uppeLILe," suId wILI u sIgI.
"Okuv now," Ie suId, "vou cun Lrv Lo kId me buL don'L suv dIdn'L
wuke vou."
"No," suId.
"WIo're vou expecLIng, u broud-buLL guI wILI buIIbeurIng IIps?"
"No," suId.
"You'd beLLer sLop LIuL, roomv," Ie grInned. "L'II ruIn vour IeuILI,
muke vou u moron. You ougIL Lo Luke vou u guI und sIow Ier Iow LIe
moon rIses over uII LIuL green gruss on LIe ounder's gruve, mun . . ."
"Go Lo IeII," suId.
He IeIL IuugIIng, openIng LIe door Lo LIe sound oI munv IooLsLeps
Irom LIe IuII: supper LIme. TIe sound oI depurLIng voIces. SomeLIIng
oI mv IIIe seemed Lo reLreuL wILI LIem InLo u gruv dIsLunce, moIIIng.
TIen u knock sounded uL LIe door und sprung up, mv IeurL Lense.
A smuII sLudenL weurIng u IresImun's cup sLuck IIs Ieud In LIe
door, sIouLIng, "Dr. BIedsoe suId Ie wunLs Lo see vou down uL Rubb
HuII." And LIen Ie wus gone beIore couId quesLIon IIm, IIs IooLsLeps
LIunderIng down LIe IuII us Ie ruced Lo dInner beIore LIe IusL beII
sounded.
AT MR. NORTON'S door sLopped wILI mv Iund on LIe knob,
mumbIIng u pruver.
"Come In, voung mun," Ie suId Lo mv knock. He wus dressed In
IresI IInen, LIe IIgIL IuIIIng upon IIs wIILe IuIr us upon sIIk IIoss. A
smuII pIece oI guuze wus pIusLered Lo IIs IoreIeud. He wus uIone.
"'m sorrv, sIr," upoIogIzed, "buL wus LoId LIuL Dr. BIedsoe
wunLed Lo see me Iere . . ."
"TIuL's correcL," Ie suId, "buL Dr. BIedsoe Iud Lo Ieuve. You'II IInd
IIm In IIs oIIIce uILer cIupeI."
"TIunk vou, sIr," suId und Lurned Lo go. He cIeured IIs LIrouL
beIInd me. "Young mun . . ."
Lurned IopeIuIIv.
"Young mun, Iuve expIuIned Lo Dr. BIedsoe LIuL vou were noL uL
IuuIL. beIIeve Ie undersLunds."
wus so reIIeved LIuL uL IIrsL couId onIv Iook uL IIm, u smuII
sIIken-IuIred, wIILe-suILed SL. NIcIoIus, seen LIrougI mIsLv eves.
" cerLuInIv do LIunk vou, sIr," munuged IInuIIv.
He sLudIed me sIIenLIv, IIs eves sIIgILIv nurrowed.
"WIII vou need me LIIs evenIng, sIr?" usked.
"No, won'L be needIng LIe mucIIne. BusIness Is LukIng me uwuv
sooner LIun expecLed. Ieuve IuLe LonIgIL."
" couId drIve vou Lo LIe sLuLIon, sIr," suId IopeIuIIv.
"TIunk vou, buL Dr. BIedsoe Ius uIreudv urrunged IL."
"OI," suId wILI dIsuppoInLmenL. Iud Ioped LIuL bv servIng IIm
LIe resL oI LIe week couId wIn buck IIs esLeem. Now wouId noL Iuve
LIe opporLunILv.
"WeII, Iope vou Iuve u pIeusunL LrIp, sIr," suId.
"TIunk vou," Ie suId, suddenIv smIIIng.
"And muvbe nexL LIme vou come 'II be ubIe Lo unswer some oI LIe
quesLIons vou usked me LIIs uILernoon."
"QuesLIons?" HIs eves nurrowed.
"Yes, sIr, ubouL . . . ubouL vour IuLe," suId.
"AI, ves, ves," Ie suId.
"And InLend Lo reud Emerson, Loo . . ."
"Verv good. SeII-reIIunce Is u mosL worLIv vIrLue. sIuII Iook
Iorwurd wILI LIe greuLesL oI InLeresL Lo IeurnIng vour conLrIbuLIon Lo
mv IuLe." He moLIoned me Lowurd LIe door. "And don'L IorgeL Lo see Dr.
BIedsoe."
IeIL somewIuL reussured, buL noL compIeLeIv. sLIII Iud Lo Iuce
Dr. BIedsoe. And Iud Lo uLLend cIupeI.
CIupLer =
AL LIe sound oI vespers moved ucross LIe cumpus wILI groups oI
sLudenLs, wuIkIng sIowIv, LIeIr voIces soIL In LIe meIIow dusk.
remember LIe veIIowed gIobes oI IrosLed gIuss mukIng Iucv sIIIoueLLes
on LIe gruveI und LIe wuIk oI LIe Ieuves und bruncIes ubove us us we
moved sIow LIrougI LIe dusk so resLIess wILI scenLs oI IIIuc,
IonevsuckIe und verbenu, und LIe IeeI oI sprIng greenness; und recuII
LIe sudden urpeggIos oI IuugILer IIILIng ucross LIe Lender, sprIngLIme
gruss-guv-weIIIng, Iur-IIouLIng, IIuenL, sponLuneous, u beII-IIke
IemInIne IIuLIng, LIen suppressed; us LIougI snuIIed swIILIv und
IrrevocubIv beneuLI LIe quIeL soIemnILv oI LIe vespered uIr now vIbrunL
wILI somber cIupeI beIIs. Dong! Dong! Dong! Above LIe decorous
wuIkIng uround me, sounds oI IooLsLeps IeuvIng LIe verundus oI Iur-
IIung buIIdIngs und movIng Lowurd LIe wuIks und over LIe wuIks Lo LIe
uspIuIL drIves IIned wILI wIILewusIed sLones, LIose crvpLIc messuges
Ior men und women, bovs und gIrIs IeudIng quIeLIv Lowurd wIere LIe
vIsILors wuILed, und we movIng noL In LIe mood oI worsIIp buL oI
judgmenL; us LIougI even Iere In LIe IIILerIng dusk, Iere beneuLI LIe
deep IndIgo skv, Iere, uIIve wILI IoopIng swIILs und durLIng moLIs, Iere
In LIe Iereness oI LIe nIgIL noL veL IIgILed bv LIe moon LIuL Iooms
bIood-red beIInd LIe cIupeI IIke u IuIIen sun, ILs rudIunce sIeddIng noL
upon LIe Iere-dusk oI LwILLerIng buLs, nor on LIe LIere-nIgIL oI crIckeL
und wIIppoorwIII, buL Iocused sIorL-ruved upon our pIuce oI
convergence; und we drIILIng Iorwurd wILI rIgId moLIons, IImbs sLIII
und voIces now sIIenL, us LIougI on exIIbIL even In LIe durk, und LIe
moon u wIILe mun's bIoodsIoL eve.
And move more rIgId LIun uII LIe oLIers wILI u sense oI
judgmenL; LIe vIbruLIons oI LIe cIupeI beIIs sLIrrIng LIe depLIs oI mv
LurmoII, movIng Lowurd ILs nexus wILI u sense oI doom. And
remember LIe cIupeI wILI ILs sweepIng euves, Iong und Iow us LIougI
rIsen bIoodv Irom LIe eurLI IIke LIe rIsIng moon; vIne-covered und
eurLI-coIored us LIougI more eurLI-sprung LIun mun-sprung. And mv
mInd rusIIng Ior reIIeI uwuv Irom LIe sprIng dusk und IIower scenLs,
uwuv Irom LIe LIme-scene oI LIe crucIIIxIon Lo LIe LIme-mood oI LIe
bIrLI; Irom sprIng-dusk und vespers Lo LIe IIgI, cIeur, IucId moon oI
wInLer und snow gIInLIng upon LIe dwurIed pInes wIere InsLeud oI LIe
beIIs, LIe orgun und LIe Lrombone cIoIr speuk curoIs Lo LIe dIsLunces
drIILed wILI snow, mukIng oI LIe nIgIL uIr u seu oI crvsLuI wuLer IuppIng
LIe sIumberIng Iund Lo LIe IurLIesL reucIes oI sound, Ior endIess mIIes,
brIngIng LIe new dIspensuLIon even Lo LIe GoIden Duv, even unLo LIe
Iouse oI mudness. BuL In LIe Iereness oI dusk um movIng Lowurd LIe
doomIIke beIIs LIrougI LIe IIowered uIr, beneuLI LIe rIsIng moon.
nLo LIe doors und InLo LIe soIL IIgILs go, sIIenLIv, pusL LIe rows
oI purILunIcuI bencIes sLruIgIL und LorLurous, IIndIng LIuL Lo wIIcI
um ussIgned und bendIng mv bodv Lo ILs ugonv. TIere uL LIe Ieud oI
LIe pIuLIorm wILI ILs puIpIL und ruII oI poIIsIed bruss ure LIe bunked
und pvrumIded Ieuds oI LIe sLudenL cIoIr, Iuces composed und sLoIId
ubove unIIorms oI bIuck und wIILe; und ubove LIem, sLreLcIIng Lo LIe
ceIIIng, LIe orgun pIpes IoomIng, u goLIIc IIerurcIv oI duII gIIded goId.
Around me LIe sLudenLs move wILI Iuces Irozen In soIemn musks,
und seem Lo Ieur uIreudv LIe voIces mecIunIcuIIv ruIsed In LIe songs
LIe vIsILors Ioved. (oved? Demunded. Sung? An uILImuLum uccepLed
und rILuuIIzed, un uIIegIunce recILed Ior LIe peuce IL ImpurLed, und Ior
LIuL perIups Ioved. oved us LIe deIeuLed come Lo Iove LIe svmboIs oI
LIeIr conquerors. A gesLure oI uccepLunce, oI Lerms IuId down und
reIucLunLIv upproved.) And Iere, sILLIng rIgId, remember LIe evenIngs
spenL beIore LIe sweepIng pIuLIorm In uwe und In pIeusure, und In LIe
pIeusure oI uwe; remember LIe sIorL IormuI sermons InLoned Irom LIe
puIpIL LIere, rendered In smooLI urLIcuIuLe Lones, wILI cuIm ussurunce
purged oI LIuL wIId emoLIon oI LIe crude preucIers mosL oI us knew In
our Iome Lowns und oI wIom we were deepIv usIumed, LIese IogIcuI
uppeuIs wIIcI reucIed us more IIke LIe LIrusL oI u IIrm und IormuI
desIgn requIrIng noLIIng more LIun LIe IucIdILv oI uncIuLLered perIods,
LIe IuIIIng movemenL oI muILIsvIIubIc words Lo LIrIII und consoIe us.
And remember, Loo, LIe LuIks oI vIsILIng speukers, uII euger Lo InIorm
us oI Iow IorLunuLe we were Lo be u purL oI LIe "vusL" und IormuI rILuuI.
How IorLunuLe Lo beIong Lo LIIs IumIIv sIeILered Irom LIose IosL In
Ignorunce und durkness.
Here upon LIIs sLuge LIe bIuck rILe oI HoruLIo AIger wus
perIormed Lo God's own ucLIng scrIpL, wILI mIIIIonuIres come down Lo
porLruv LIemseIves; noL mereIv ucLIng ouL LIe mvLI oI LIeIr goodness,
und weuILI und success und power und benevoIence und uuLIorILv In
curdbourd musks, buL LIemseIves, LIese vIrLues concreLeIv! NoL LIe
wuIer und LIe wIne, buL LIe IIesI und LIe bIood, vIbrunL und uIIve, und
vIbrunL even wIen sLooped, uncIenL und wILIered. (And wIo, In Iuce oI
LIIs, wouId noL beIIeve? CouId even doubL?)
And remember Loo, Iow we conIronLed LIose oLIers, LIose wIo
Iud seL me Iere In LIIs Eden, wIom we knew LIougI we dIdn'L know,
wIo were unIumIIIur In LIeIr IumIIIurILv, wIo LruIIed LIeIr words Lo us
LIrougI bIood und vIoIence und rIdIcuIe und condescensIon wILI
druwIIng smIIes, und wIo exIorLed und LIreuLened, InLImIduLed wILI
InnocenL words us LIev descrIbed Lo us LIe IImILuLIons oI our IIves und
LIe vusL boIdness oI our uspIruLIons, LIe sLuggerIng IoIIv oI our
ImpuLIence Lo rIse even IIgIer; wIo, us LIev LuIked, uroused IurLIve
vIsIons wILIIn me oI bIood-IroLI spurkIIng LIeIr cIIns IIke LIeIr IumIIIur
Lobucco juIce, und upon LIeIr IIps LIe curdIed mIIk oI u mIIIIon bIuck
sIuve mummIes' wILIered dugs, u LreucIerous und IIuId knowIedge oI
our beIng, ImbIbed uL our source und now regurgILuLed IouI upon us.
TIIs wus our worId, LIev suId us LIev descrIbed IL Lo us, LIIs our
IorIzon und ILs eurLI, ILs seusons und ILs cIImuLe, ILs sprIng und ILs
summer, und ILs IuII und IurvesL some unknown mIIIennIum uIeud;
und LIese ILs IIoods und cvcIones und LIev LIemseIves our LIunder und
IIgILnIng; und LIIs we musL uccepL und Iove und uccepL even II we dId
noL Iove. We musL uccepL-even wIen LIose were ubsenL, und LIe men
wIo mude LIe ruIIrouds und sIIps und Lowers oI sLone, were beIore our
eves, In LIe IIesI, LIeIr voIces dIIIerenL, unweIgILed wILI recognIzubIe
dunger und LIeIr deIIgIL In our songs more sIncere seemIng, LIeIr
regurd Ior our weIIure murked bv un uImosL benIgn und ImpersonuI
IndIIIerence. BuL LIe words oI LIe oLIers were sLronger LIun LIe
sLrengLI oI pIIIunLIropIc doIIurs, deeper LIun sIuILs sunk In LIe eurLI
Ior oII und goId, more uwe-InspIrIng LIun LIe mIrucIes IubrIcuLed In
scIenLIIIc IuboruLorIes. or LIeIr mosL InnocenL words were ucLs oI
vIoIence Lo wIIcI we oI LIe cumpus were IvpersensILIve LIougI we
endured LIem noL.
And LIere on LIe pIuLIorm Loo Iud sLrIdden und debuLed, u
sLudenL Ieuder dIrecLIng mv voIce uL LIe IIgIesL beums und IurLIesL
ruILers, rIngIng LIem, LIe uccenLs sLuccuLo upon LIe rIdgepoIe und
ecIoIng buck wILI u LInkIIng, IIke words IurIed Lo LIe Lrees oI u
wIIderness, or InLo u weII oI sIuLe-gruv wuLer; more sound LIun sense, u
pIuv upon LIe resonunces oI buIIdIngs, un ussuuIL upon LIe LempIes oI
LIe eur:
Hu! Lo LIe gruv-IuIred muLron In LIe IInuI row. Hu! MIss SusIe,
MIss SusIe GresIum, buck LIere IookIng uL LIuL co-ed smIIIng uL LIuL
Ie-ed-IIsLen Lo me, LIe bungIIng bugIer oI words, ImILuLIng LIe
LrumpeL und LIe Lrombone's LImbre, pIuvIng LIemuLIc vurIuLIons IIke u
burILone Iorn. Hev! oId connoIsseur oI voIce sounds, oI voIces wILIouL
messuges, oI newsIess wInds, IIsLen Lo LIe voweI sounds und LIe
cruckIIng denLuIs, Lo LIe Iow IursI guLLuruIs oI empLv unguIsI, now
rIdIng LIe curve oI u preucIer's rIvLIm Ieurd Iong ugo In u BupLIsL
cIurcI, sLrIpped now oI ILs Imugerv: No suns IuvIng IemorrIuges, no
moons weepIng Leurs, no eurLIworms reIusIng LIe sucred IIesI und
duncIng In LIe eurLI on EusLer morn. Hu! sIngIng ucIIevemenL, Hu!
boomIng success, InLonIng, Hu! uccepLunce, Hu! u rIver oI word-sounds
IIIIed wILI drowned pussIons, IIouLIng, Hu! wILI wrecks oI unucIIevubIe
umbILIons und sLIIIborn revoILs, sweepIng LIeIr eurs, Hu! runged sLIII
beIore me, necks sLreLcIed Iorwurd wILI IIsLenIng eurs, Hu! u-spruvIng
LIe ceIIIng und u-drummIng LIe durk-sLuIned uILer ruILer, LIuL seusoned
crossurm oI LorLurous LImber meIIowed In LIe kIIn oI u LIousund
voIces; pIuvIng Hu! us upon u xvIopIone; words murcIIng IIke LIe
sLudenL bund, up LIe cumpus und down uguIn, bIurIng LrIumpIunL
sounds empLv oI LrIumpIs. Hev, MIss SusIe! LIe sound oI words LIuL
were no words, counLerIeIL noLes sIngIng ucIIevemenLs veL unucIIeved,
rIdIng upon LIe wIngs oI mv voIce ouL Lo vou, oId muLron, wIo knew
LIe voIce sounds oI LIe ounder und knew LIe uccenLs und ecIo oI IIs
promIse; vour gruv oId Ieud cocked wILI LIe voung uround vou, vour
eves cIosed, Iuce ecsLuLIc, us Loss LIe word sounds In mv breuLI, mv
beIIows, mv IounLuIn, IIke brIgIL-coIored buIIs In u wuLer spouL-Ieur
me, oId muLron, jusLIIv now LIIs sound wILI vour deur oId nod oI
uIIIrmuLIon, vour cIosed-eve smIIe und bow oI recognILIon, wIo'II never
be IooIed wILI LIe mere conLenL oI words, noL mv words, noL LIese
pInIeuLIered IIIgILers LIuL sLroke vour IIds LIII LIev IIuLLer wILI ecsLusv
wILI buL LIe mere ecIoed noIse oI LIe promIse. And uILer LIe sIngIng
und ouLwurd murcIIng, vou seIze mv Iund und sIng ouL quuverIng,
"Bov, some duv vou'II muke LIe ounder proud." Hu! SusIe GresIum,
MoLIer GresIum, guurdIun oI LIe IoL voung women on LIe purILun
bencIes wIo couIdn'L see vour Jordun's wuLer Ior LIeIr prIvuLe sLeum;
vou, reIIc oI sIuverv wIom LIe cumpus Ioved buL dId noL undersLund,
uged, oI sIuverv, veL beurer oI someLIIng wurm und vILuI und uII-
endurIng, oI wIIcI In LIuL IsIund oI sIume we were noL usIumed-IL
wus Lo vou on LIe IInuI row dIrecLed mv rusI oI sound, und IL wus vou
oI wIom LIougIL wILI sIume und regreL us wuILed Ior LIe ceremonv
Lo begIn.
TIe Ionored guesLs moved sIIenLIv upon LIe pIuLIorm, Ierded
Lowurd LIeIr IIgI, curved cIuIrs bv Dr. BIedsoe wILI LIe decorum oI u
porLIv Ieud wuILer. Ike some oI LIe guesLs, Ie wore sLrIped Lrousers
und u swuIIow-LuII couL wILI bIuck-bruIded IupeIs Lopped bv u rIcI uscoL
LIe. L wus IIs reguIur dress Ior sucI occusIons, veL Ior uII ILs eIegunce,
Ie munuged Lo muke IImseII Iook IumbIe. SomeIow, IIs Lrousers
InevILubIv bugged uL LIe knees und LIe couL sIoucIed In LIe sIouIders.
wuLcIed IIm smIIIng uL IIrsL one und LIen unoLIer oI LIe guesLs, oI
wIom uII buL one were wIILe; und us suw IIm pIucIng IIs Iund upon
LIeIr urms, LoucIIng LIeIr bucks, wIIsperIng Lo u LuII unguIur-Iuced
LrusLee wIo In Lurn LoucIed IIs urm IumIIIurIv, IeIL u sIudder. Loo
Iud LoucIed u wIILe mun Loduv und IeIL LIuL IL Iud been dIsusLrous,
und reuIIzed LIen LIuL Ie wus LIe onIv one oI us wIom knew-excepL
perIups u burber or u nursemuId-wIo couId LoucI u wIILe mun wILI
ImpunILv. And remembered Loo LIuL wIenever wIILe guesLs cume
upon LIe pIuLIorm Ie pIuced IIs Iund upon LIem us LIougI exercIsIng
u powerIuI mugIc. wuLcIed IIs LeeLI IIusI us Ie Look u wIILe Iund;
LIen, wILI uII seuLed, Ie wenL Lo IIs pIuce uL LIe end oI LIe row oI
cIuIrs.
SeveruI Lerruces oI sLudenLs' Iuces ubove LIem, LIe orgunIsL, IIs
eves gIInLIng uL LIe consoIe, wus wuILIng wILI IIs Ieud Lurned over IIs
sIouIder, und suw Dr. BIedsoe, IIs eves roumIng over LIe uudIence,
suddenIv nod wILIouL LurnIng IIs Ieud. L wus us LIougI Ie Iud gIven u
downbeuL wILI un InvIsIbIe buLon. TIe orgunIsL Lurned und IuncIed IIs
sIouIders. A IIgI cuscude oI sound bubbIed Irom LIe orgun, spreudIng,
LIIck und cIIngIng, over LIe cIupeI, sIowIv surgIng. TIe orgunIsL LwIsLed
und Lurned on IIs bencI, wILI IIs IeeL IIvIng beneuLI IIm us LIougI
duncIng Lo rIvLIms LoLuIIv unreIuLed Lo LIe decorous LIunder oI IIs
orgun.
And Dr. BIedsoe suL wILI u benIgn smIIe oI Inwurd concenLruLIon.
YeL IIs eves were durLIng swIILIv, IIrsL over LIe rows oI sLudenLs, LIen
over LIe secLIon reserved Ior LeucIers, IIs swIIL gIunce currvIng u LIreuL
Ior uII. or Ie demunded LIuL evervone uLLend LIese sessIons. L wus
Iere LIuL poIIcv wus unnounced In broudesL rIeLorIc. seemed Lo IeeI
IIs eves resLIng upon mv Iuce us Ie swepL LIe secLIon In wIIcI suL.
Iooked uL LIe guesLs on LIe pIuLIorm; LIev suL wILI LIuL uIerL reIuxuLIon
wILI wIIcI LIev uIwuvs meL our upLurned eves. wondered Lo wIIcI oI
LIem mIgIL go Lo InLercede Ior me wILI Dr. BIedsoe, buL wILIIn mvseII
knew LIuL LIere wus no one.
n spILe oI LIe urruv oI ImporLunL men besIde IIm, und despILe LIe
posLure oI IumIIILv und meekness wIIcI mude IIm seem smuIIer LIun
LIe oLIers (uILIougI Ie wus pIvsIcuIIv Iurger), Dr. BIedsoe mude IIs
presence IeIL bv us wILI u Iur greuLer ImpucL. remembered LIe Iegend
oI Iow Ie Iud come Lo LIe coIIege, u bureIooL bov wIo In IIs Iervor Ior
educuLIon Iud Lrudged wILI IIs bundIe oI rugged cIoLIIng ucross Lwo
sLuLes. And Iow Ie wus gIven u job IeedIng sIop Lo LIe Iogs buL Iud
mude IImseII LIe besL sIop dIspenser In LIe IIsLorv oI LIe scIooI; und
Iow LIe ounder Iud been Impressed und mude IIm IIs oIIIce bov.
EucI oI us knew oI IIs rIse over veurs oI Iurd work Lo LIe presIdencv,
und eucI oI us uL some LIme wIsIed LIuL Ie Iud wuIked Lo LIe scIooI or
pusIed u wIeeIburrow or perIormed some oLIer ucL oI deLermInuLIon
und sucrIIIce Lo uLLesL IIs eugerness Ior knowIedge. remembered LIe
udmIruLIon und Ieur Ie InspIred In evervone on LIe cumpus; LIe
pIcLures In LIe Negro press cupLIoned "EDUCATOR," In Lvpe LIuL
expIoded IIke u rIIIe sIoL, IIs Iuce IookIng ouL uL vou wILI uLmosL
conIIdence. To us Ie wus more LIun jusL u presIdenL oI u coIIege. He
wus u Ieuder, u "sLuLesmun" wIo currIed our probIems Lo LIose ubove
us, even unLo LIe WIILe House; und In duvs pusL Ie Iud conducLed LIe
PresIdenL IImseII ubouL LIe cumpus. He wus our Ieuder und our mugIc,
wIo kepL LIe endowmenL IIgI, LIe Iunds Ior scIoIursIIps pIenLIIuI und
pubIIcILv movIng LIrougI LIe cIunneIs oI LIe press. He wus our couI-
bIuck duddv oI wIom we were uIruId.
As LIe orgun voIces dIed, suw u LIIn brown gIrI urIse noIseIessIv
wILI LIe rIgId conLroI oI u modern duncer, IIgI In LIe upper rows oI LIe
cIoIr, und begIn Lo sIng u cuppeIIu. SIe begun soILIv, us LIougI sIngIng
Lo IerseII oI emoLIons oI uLmosL prIvucv, u sound noL uddressed Lo LIe
guLIerIng, buL wIIcI LIev overIeurd uImosL uguInsL Ier wIII. GruduuIIv
sIe Increused ILs voIume, unLII uL LImes LIe voIce seemed Lo become u
dIsembodIed Iorce LIuL sougIL Lo enLer Ier, Lo vIoIuLe Ier, sIukIng Ier,
rockIng Ier rIvLImIcuIIv, us LIougI IL Iud become LIe source oI Ier
beIng, ruLIer LIun LIe IIuId web oI Ier own creuLIon.
suw LIe guesLs on LIe pIuLIorm Lurn Lo Iook beIInd LIem, Lo see
LIe LIIn brown gIrI In wIILe cIoIr robe sLundIng IIgI uguInsL LIe orgun
pIpes, IerseII become beIore our eves u pIpe oI conLuIned, conLroIIed
und subIImuLed unguIsI, u LIIn pIuIn Iuce LrunsIormed bv musIc.
couId noL undersLund LIe words, buL onIv LIe mood, sorrowIuI, vugue
und eLIereuI, oI LIe sIngIng. L LIrobbed wILI nosLuIgIu, regreL und
repenLunce, und suL wILI u Iump In mv LIrouL us sIe sunk sIowIv
down; noL u sILLIng buL u conLroIIed coIIupsIng, us LIougI sIe were
buIuncIng, susLuInIng LIe sImmerIng bubbIe oI Ier IInuI Lone bv some
deIIcuLe rIvLIm oI Ier IeurL's bIood, or bv some mvsLIc concenLruLIon
oI Ier beIng, Iocused upon LIe sound LIrougI LIe conLuIned IIquId oI
Ier Iurge upIIILed eves.
TIere wus no uppIuuse, onIv LIe upprecIuLIon oI u proIound
sIIence. TIe wIILe guesLs excIunged smIIes oI upprovuI. suL LIInkIng
oI LIe dreud possIbIIILv oI IuvIng Lo Ieuve uII LIIs, oI beIng expeIIed;
ImugInIng LIe reLurn Iome und LIe rebukes oI mv purenLs. Iooked ouL
uL LIe scene now Irom Iur buck In mv despuIr, seeIng LIe pIuLIorm und
ILs ucLors us LIrougI u reversed LeIescope; smuII doII-IIke IIgures
movIng LIrougI some meunIngIess rILuuI. Someone up LIere, ubove LIe
uILernuLIng moss-drv und greuse-sIIck Ieuds oI LIe sLudenLs rowed
beIore me, wus mukIng unnouncemenLs Irom u IecLern on wIIcI u dIm
IIgIL sIone. AnoLIer IIgure rose und Ied u pruver. Someone spoke. TIen
uround me evervone wus sIngIng eud me, Ieud me Lo u rock LIuL Is
IIgIer LIun . And us LIougI LIe sound conLuIned some Iorce more
ImperIous LIun LIe Imuge oI LIe scene oI wIIcI IL wus LIe IIvIng
connecLIve LIssue, wus puIIed buck Lo ILs ImmedIucv.
One oI LIe guesLs Iud rIsen Lo speuk. A mun oI sLrIkIng ugIIness;
IuL, wILI u buIIeL-Ieud seL on u sIorL neck, wILI u nose mucI Loo wIde
Ior ILs Iuce, upon wIIcI Ie wore bIuck-Iensed gIusses. He Iud been
seuLed nexL Lo Dr. BIedsoe, buL so concerned Iud been wILI LIe
presIdenL LIuL Iudn'L reuIIv seen IIm. Mv eves Iud Iocused onIv upon
LIe wIILe men und Dr. BIedsoe. So LIuL now us Ie urose und crossed
sIowIv Lo LIe cenLer oI LIe pIuLIorm, Iud LIe noLIon LIuL purL oI Dr.
BIedsoe Iud urIsen und moved Iorwurd, IeuvIng IIs oLIer purL smIIIng
In LIe cIuIr.
He sLood beIore us reIuxed, IIs wIILe coIIur gIeumIng IIke u bund
beLween IIs bIuck Iuce und IIs durk gurmenLs, dIvIdIng IIs Ieud Irom
IIs bodv; IIs sIorL urms crossed beIore IIs burreI, IIke u bIuck IILLIe
BuddIu's. or u momenL Ie sLood wILI IIs Iurge Ieud IIILed, us LIougI
LIInkIng; LIen Ie begun speukIng, IIs voIce round und vIbrunL us Ie
LoId oI IIs pIeusure In beIng uIIowed Lo vIsIL LIe scIooI once more uILer
munv veurs. HuvIng been preucIIng In u norLIern cILv, Ie Iud seen IL
IusL In LIe IInuI duvs oI LIe ounder, wIen Dr. BIedsoe wus LIe "second
In commund." "TIose were wonderIuI duvs," Ie droned. "SIgnIIIcunL
duvs. Duvs IIIIed wILI greuL porLenL."
As Ie LuIked Ie mude u cuge oI IIs Iunds bv LoucIIng IIs
IIngerLIps, LIen wILI IIs smuII IeeL pressIng LogeLIer, Ie begun u sIow,
rIvLImIc rockIng; LIILIng Iorwurd on IIs Loes unLII IL seemed Ie wouId
IuII, LIen buck on IIs IeeIs, LIe IIgILs cuLcIIng IIs bIuck-Iensed gIusses
unLII IL seemed LIuL IIs Ieud IIouLed Iree oI IIs bodv und wus IeId cIose
Lo IL onIv bv LIe wIILe bund oI IIs coIIur. And us Ie LIILed Ie LuIked unLII
u rIvLIm wus esLubIIsIed.
TIen Ie wus renewIng LIe dreum In our IeurLs:
". . . LIIs burren Iund uILer EmuncIpuLIon," Ie InLoned, "LIIs Iund oI
durkness und sorrow, oI Ignorunce und degruduLIon, wIere LIe Iund oI
broLIer Iud been Lurned uguInsL broLIer, IuLIer uguInsL son, und son
uguInsL IuLIer; wIere musLer Iud Lurned uguInsL sIuve und sIuve uguInsL
musLer; wIere uII wus sLrIIe und durkness, un ucIIng Iund. And InLo LIIs
Iund cume u IumbIe propIeL, IowIv IIke LIe IumbIe curpenLer oI
NuzureLI, u sIuve und u son oI sIuves, knowIng onIv IIs moLIer. A sIuve
born, buL murked Irom LIe begInnIng bv u IIgI InLeIIIgence und
prInceIv personuIILv; born In LIe IowesL purL oI LIIs burren, wur-scurred
Iund, veL someIow sIeddIng IIgIL upon IL wIere'er Ie pussed LIrougI.
'm sure vou Iuve Ieurd oI IIs precurIous InIuncv, IIs precIous IIIe
uImosL desLroved bv un Insune cousIn wIo spIusIed LIe bube wILI Ive
und sIrIveIed IIs seed und Iow, u mere bube, Ie Iuv nIne duvs In u
deuLIIIke comu und LIen suddenIv und mIrucuIousIv recovered. You
mIgIL suv LIuL IL wus us LIougI Ie Iud rIsen Irom LIe deud or been
reborn.
"OI, mv voung IrIends," Ie crIed, beumIng, "mv voung IrIends, IL
Is Indeed u beuuLIIuI sLorv. 'm sure vou've Ieurd IL munv LImes: RecuII
Iow Ie cume upon IIs InILIuI IeurnIng LIrougI sIrewd quesLIonIng oI
IIs IILLIe musLers, LIe eIder musLers never suspecLIng; und Iow Ie
Ieurned IIs uIpIubeL und LuugIL IImseII Lo reud und soIve LIe secreL oI
words, goIng InsLIncLIveIv Lo LIe HoIv BIbIe wILI ILs greuL wIsdom Ior
IIs IIrsL knowIedge. And vou know Iow Ie escuped und mude IIs wuv
ucross mounLuIn und vuIIev Lo LIuL pIuce oI IeurnIng und Iow Ie
persIsLed und worked noonLImes, nIgILs und mornIngs Ior LIe prIvIIege
oI sLudvIng, or, us LIe oId IoIk wouId suv, oI 'rubbIng IIs Ieud uguInsL
LIe coIIege wuII.' You know oI IIs brIIIIunL cureer, Iow uIreudv Ie wus u
movIng oruLor; LIen IIs pennIIess gruduuLIon und IIs reLurn uILer veurs
Lo LIIs counLrv.
"And LIen IIs greuL sLruggIe begInnIng. PIcLure IL, mv voung
IrIends: TIe cIouds oI durkness uII over LIe Iund, bIuck IoIk und wIILe
IoIk IuII oI Ieur und IuLe, wunLIng Lo go Iorwurd, buL eucI IeurIuI oI LIe
oLIer. A wIoIe regIon Is cuugIL In u LerrIbIe LensIon. Evervone Is
perpIexed wILI LIe quesLIon oI wIuL musL be done Lo dIssoIve LIIs Ieur
und IuLred LIuL croucIed over LIe Iund IIke u demon wuILIng Lo sprIng,
und vou know Iow Ie cume und sIowed LIem LIe wuv. OI, ves, mv
IrIends. 'm sure vou've Ieurd IL LIme und LIme uguIn; oI LIIs godIv
mun's Iubors, IIs greuL IumIIILv und IIs undImmIng vIsIon, LIe IruILs oI
wIIcI vou enjov Loduv; concreLe, mude IIesI; IIs dreum, conceIved In
LIe sLurkness und durkness oI sIuverv, IuIIIIIed now even In LIe uIr vou
breuLIe, In LIe sweeL IurmonIes oI vour bIended voIces, In LIe
knowIedge wIIcI eucI oI vou-duugILers und grundduugILers, sons
und grundsons, oI sIuves-uII oI vou purLukIng oI IL In brIgIL und weII-
equIpped cIussrooms. You musL see LIIs sIuve, LIIs bIuck ArIsLoLIe,
movIng sIowIv, wILI sweeL puLIence, wILI u puLIence noL oI mere mun,
buL oI God-InspIred IuILI-see IIm movIng sIowIv us Ie surmounLs
eucI und everv opposILIon. RenderIng unLo Cuesur LIuL wIIcI wus
Cuesur's, ves; buL sLeudIusLIv seekIng Ior vou LIuL brIgIL IorIzon wIIcI
vou now enjov . . .
"AII LIIs," Ie suId, spreudIng IIs IIngers puIm down beIore IIm,
"Ius been LoId und reLoId LIrougIouL LIe Iund, InspIrIng u IumbIe buL
IusL-rIsIng peopIe. You Iuve Ieurd IL, und IL-LIIs Lrue sLorv oI rIcI
ImpIIcuLIon, LIIs IIvIng purubIe oI proven gIorv und IumbIe nobIIILv-
und IL, us suv, Ius mude vou Iree. Even vou wIo Iuve come Lo LIIs
sIrIne onIv LIIs semesLer know IL. You Iuve Ieurd IIs nume Irom vour
purenLs, Ior IL wus Ie wIo Ied LIem Lo LIe puLI, guIdIng LIem IIke u
greuL cupLuIn; IIke LIuL greuL pIIoL oI uncIenL LImes wIo Ied IIs peopIe
suIe und unIurmed ucross LIe boLLom oI LIe bIood-red seu. And vour
purenLs IoIIowed LIIs remurkubIe mun ucross LIe bIuck seu oI prejudIce,
suIeIv ouL oI LIe Iund oI Ignorunce, LIrougI LIe sLorms oI Ieur und
unger, sIouLIng, ET MY PEOPE GO! wIen IL wus necessurv,
wIIsperIng IL durIng LIose LImes wIen wIIsperIng wus wIsesL. And Ie
wus Ieurd."
IIsLened, mv buck pressIng uguInsL LIe Iurd bencI, wILI u
numbness, mv emoLIons woven InLo IIs words us upon u Ioom.
"And remember Iow," Ie suId, "wIen Ie enLered u cerLuIn sLuLe uL
coLLon-pIckIng LIme, IIs enemIes Iud pIoLLed Lo Luke IIs IIIe. And recuII
Iow durIng IIs journev Ie wus sLopped bv LIe sLrunge IIgure oI u mun
wIose pILLed IeuLures reveuIed no InkIIng oI wIeLIer Ie wus bIuck or
wIILe . . . Some suv Ie wus u Greek. Some u MongoIIun. OLIers u
muIuLLo-und oLIers sLIII, u sImpIe wIILe mun oI God. WIoever, und
wIuLsoever, und we musL noL ruIe ouL LIe possIbIIILv oI un emIssurv
dIrecL Irom ubove-oI, ves!-und remember Iow Ie uppeured
suddenIv, sLurLIIng boLI ounder und Iorse us Ie guve wurnIng, LeIIIng
LIe ounder Lo Ieuve LIe Iorse und buggv LIere In LIe roud und proceed
ImmedIuLeIv Lo u cerLuIn cubIn, LIen sIIpped sIIenLIv uwuv, so sIIenLIv,
mv voung IrIends, LIuL LIe ounder doubLed IIs verv exIsLence. And
vou know Iow LIe greuL mun conLInued LIrougI LIe dusk, deLermIned
LIougI puzzIed us Ie upproucIed LIe Lown. He wus IosL, IosL In reverIe
unLII LIe cruck oI LIe IIrsL rIIIe sounded, LIen LIe uImosL IuLuI voIIev
LIuL creused IIs skuII-oI mv!-und IeIL IIm sLunned und uppurenLIv
IIIeIess.
" Iuve Ieurd IIm LeII wILI IIs own IIps Iow conscIousness
reLurned wIIIe LIev were sLIII upon IIm exumInIng LIeIr IouI deed, und
Iow Ie Iuv bILIng IIs IeurL IesL LIev Ieur IL und wIpe ouL LIeIr IuIIure
wILI u coup-de-gruce, us LIe rencI wouId suv. Hu! And 'm sure vou've
eucI oI vou IIved wILI IIm LIrougI IIs escupe," Ie suId, seemIng Lo
Iook dIrecLIv InLo mv wuLered eves. "You uwukened wIen Ie uwukened,
rejoIced wIen Ie rejoIced uL LIeIr IeuvIng wILIouL IurLIer Iurm; urIsIng
wIen Ie urose; seeIng wILI IIs eves LIe prInLs oI LIeIr mIIIIng IooLsLeps
und LIe curLrIdges dropped In LIe dusL ubouL LIe ImprInL oI IIs IuIIen
bodv; ves, und LIe coId, dusL-encrusLed, buL noL quILe IuLuI bIood. And
vou IurrIed wILI IIm IuII oI doubL Lo LIe cubIn desIgnuLed bv LIe
sLrunger, wIere Ie meL LIuL seemIngIv demenLed bIuck mun . . . You
remember LIuL oId one, IuugIed uL bv LIe cIIIdren In LIe Lown's squure,
oId, comIc-Iuced, cruILv, coLLon-Ieuded. And veL IL wus Ie wIo bound
up vour wounds wILI LIe wounds oI LIe ounder. He, LIe oId sIuve,
sIowIng u surprIsIng knowIedge oI sucI muLLers-germoIogv und
scuboIogv-Iu! Iu!-Ie cuIIed IL, und wIuL u vouLIIuI skIII oI LIe Iunds!
or Ie sIuved our skuII, und cIeunsed our wound und bound IL neuL
wILI bunduges sLoIen Irom LIe Iome oI un unsuspecLIng Ieuder oI LIe
mob, Iu! And vou recuII Iow vou pIunged wILI LIe ounder, LIe
euder, deep InLo LIe bIuck urL oI escupe, guIded uL IIrsL, Indeed,
InILIuLed, bv LIe seemIngIv demenLed one wIo Iud Ieurned IIs cruIL In
sIuverv. You IeIL wILI LIe ounder In LIe bIuck oI nIgIL, und know IL.
You IurrIed sIIenLIv uIong LIe rIver boLLom, sLung bv mosquILoes,
IooLed bv owIs, zoomed bv buLs, buzzed bv snukes LIuL ruLLIed umong
LIe rocks, mud und Iever, durkness und sIgIIng. You IId uII LIe
IoIIowIng duv In LIe cubIn wIere LIIrLeen sIepL In LIree smuII rooms,
sLundIng unLII durkness In LIe IIrepIuce cIImnev, buck In uII LIe sooL
und usIes-Iu! Iu!-guurded bv LIe grunnv wIo dozed uL LIe IeurLI
seemIngIv wILIouL u IIre. You sLood In LIe bIuckness und wIen LIev
cume wILI LIeIr buvIng Iounds LIev LIougIL Ier demenLed. BuL sIe
knew, sIe knew! SIe knew LIe IIre! SIe knew LIe IIre! SIe knew LIe
IIre LIuL burned wILIouL consumIng! Mv God, ves!"
"Mv God, ves!" u womun's voIce responded, uddIng Lo LIe
sLrucLure oI IIs vIsIon wILIIn me.
"And vou IeIL wILI IIm In LIe mornIng, IIdden In u wugonIoud oI
coLLon, In LIe verv cenLer oI LIe IIeece, wIere vou breuLIed LIe IoL uIr
LIrougI LIe burreI oI LIe emergencv sIoLgun; LIe curLrIdges, wIIcI
LIunk God IL wus unnecessurv Lo use, IeId IunwIse und reudv beLween
LIe spreud IIngers oI vour Iund. And vou wenL InLo LIIs Lown wILI IIm
und were IIdden bv LIe IrIendIv urIsLocruL one nIgIL, und on LIe nexL
bv LIe wIILe bIucksmILI wIo IeId no IuLred-surprIsIng conLrudIcLIons
oI LIe underground. EscupIng, ves! IeIped bv LIose wIo knew vou und
LIose wIo dIdn'L know. Becuuse Ior some IL wus enougI Lo see IIm;
oLIers IeIped wILIouL even LIuL, bIuck und wIILe. BuL mosLIv IL wus our
own wIo uIded, becuuse vou were LIeIr own und we Iuve uIwuvs IeIped
our own. And so, mv voung IrIends, mv sIsLers und broLIers, vou wenL
wILI IIm, In und ouL oI cubIns, bv nIgIL und eurIv mornIng, LIrougI
swumps und IIIIs. On und on, pussed Irom bIuck Iund Lo bIuck Iund
und some wIILe Iunds, und uII LIe Iunds moIdIng LIe ounder's
Ireedom und our own Ireedom IIke voIces sIupIng u deep-IeIL song. And
vou, eucI oI vou, were wILI IIm. AI, Iow weII vou know IL, Ior IL wus
vou wIo escuped Lo Ireedom. AI, ves, und vou know LIe sLorv."
suw IIm resLIng now, und beumIng ouL ucross LIe cIupeI, IIs
Iuge Ieud LurnIng Lo uII ILs corners IIke u beucon, IIs voIce sLIII ecIoIng
us IougIL buck mv emoLIon. or LIe IIrsL LIme LIe evocuLIon oI LIe
ounder suddened me, und LIe cumpus seemed Lo rusI pusL me, IusL
reLreuLIng, IIke LIe IudIng oI u dreum uL LIe sunderIng oI sIumber.
BesIde me, LIe sLudenL's eves swum wILI u dIsLorLIng cuLurucL oI Leurs,
IIs IeuLures rIgId us LIougI Ie sLruggIed wILIIn IImseII. TIe IuL mun
wus pIuvIng upon LIe wIoIe uudIence wILIouL LIe IeusL sIow oI
exerLIon. He seemed compIeLeIv composed, IIdden beIInd IIs bIuck-
Iensed gIusses, onIv IIs mobIIe IeuLures gesLurIng IIs vocuI drumu.
nudged LIe bov besIde me.
"WIo Is Ie?" wIIspered.
He guve me u Iook oI unnovunce, uImosL oI ouLruge. "Reverend
Homer A. Burbee, CIIcugo," Ie suId.
Now LIe speuker resLed IIs urm upon LIe IecLern und Lurned
Lowurd Dr. BIedsoe:
"You've Ieurd LIe brIgIL begInnIng oI LIe beuuLIIuI sLorv, mv
IrIends. BuL LIere Is LIe mournIuI endIng, und perIups In munv wuvs
LIe rIcIer sIde. TIe seLLIng oI LIIs gIorIous son oI LIe mornIng."
He Lurned Lo Dr. BIedsoe, "L wus u IuLeIuI duv, Dr. BIedsoe, sIr, II
muv recuII IL Lo vou, Ior we were LIere. OI ves, mv voung IrIends," Ie
suId, LurnIng Lo Iuce us uguIn wILI u sud proud smIIe. " knew IIm weII
und Ioved IIm, und wus LIere.
"We Iud Loured LIrougI severuI sLuLes Lo wIIcI Ie wus currvIng
LIe messuge. TIe peopIe Iud come Lo Ieur LIe propIeL, LIe muILILude
Iud responded. TIe oId-IusIIoned peopIe; women In uprons und
MoLIer Hubburds oI cuIIco und gIngIum, men In LIeIr overuIIs und
puLcIed uIpucus; u seu oI upLurned und puzzIed Iuces IookIng ouL Irom
beneuLI oId buLLered sLruw IuLs und IImp sunbonneLs. TIev wIo Iud
come bv oxen und muIe Leum und bv wuIkIng Iong dIsLunces. L wus LIe
monLI oI SepLember und unseusonubIv coId. He Iud spoken peuce und
conIIdence InLo LIeIr LroubIed souIs, Iud seL u sLur beIore LIem und we
were pussIng on Lo oLIer scenes, sLIII currvIng LIe messuge.
"AI, LIose duvs oI ceuseIess LruveI, LIose vouLIIuI duvs, LIose
sprIngLIme duvs; IerLIIe, bIossomv, sun-IIIIed duvs oI promIse. AI, ves,
LIose IndescrIbubIv gIorIous duvs, In wIIcI LIe ounder wus buIIdIng
LIe dreum noL onIv Iere In LIIs LIen burren vuIIev, buL IILIer und
vonder LIrougIouL LIe Iund, InsLIIIIng LIe dreum In LIe IeurLs oI LIe
peopIe. ErecLIng LIe scuIIoIdIng oI u nuLIon. BroudcusLIng IIs messuge
LIuL IeII IIke seed on LuIIow ground, sucrIIIcIng IImseII, IIgILIng und
IorgIvIng IIs enemIes oI boLI compIexIons-oI ves, Ie Iud LIem, oI boLI
compIexIons. BuL goIng Iorwurd IIIIed wILI LIe ImporLunce oI IIs
messuge, IIIIed wILI IIs dedIcuLed mIssIon; und In IIs zeuI, perIups In
IIs morLuI prIde, IgnorIng LIe udvIce oI IIs pIvsIcIun. see In mv
mInd's eve LIe IuLuI uLmospIere oI LIuL jum-pucked uudILorIum: TIe
ounder IoIds LIe uudIence wILIIn LIe genLIe puIm oI IIs eIoquence,
rockIng IL, sooLIIng IL, InsLrucLIng IL; und LIere beIow, LIe rupL Iuces
bIusIed bv LIe gIow oI LIe bIg poL-beIIIed sLove now Lurned cIerrv-red
wILI ILs gIowIng; ves, LIe speIIbound rows cuugIL In LIe ImperIous
LruLI oI IIs messuge. And Ieur now, uguIn, LIe greuL IummIng IusI
us IIs voIce reucIed LIe end oI u mIgILv perIod, und one oI LIe
IIsLeners, u snowv-Ieuded mun, Ieups Lo IIs IeeL crvIng ouL, 'TeII us
wIuL Is Lo be done, sIr! or God's suke, LeII us! TeII us In LIe nume oI
LIe son LIev snuLcIed Irom me IusL week!' And uII LIrougI LIe room LIe
voIces urIsIng, ImpIorIng, 'TeII us, LeII us!' And LIe ounder Is suddenIv
muLe wILI Leurs."
OId Burbee's voIce rung ouL, us suddenIv Ie mude cIurged und
IncompIeLe movemenLs ubouL LIe pIuLIorm, ucLIng ouL IIs words. And
wuLcIed wILI u sIck IuscInuLIon, knowIng purL oI LIe sLorv, veL u purL oI
me IIgILIng uguInsL ILs sud InevILubIe concIusIon.
"And LIe ounder puuses, LIen sLeps Iorwurd wILI IIs eves
spIIIIng IIs greuL emoLIon. WILI IIs urm upruIsed, Ie begIns Lo unswer
und LoLLers. TIen uII Is commoLIon. We rusI Iorwurd und Ieud IIm
uwuv.
"TIe uudIence Ieups Lo ILs IeeL In consLernuLIon. AII Is Lerror und
LurmoII, u moun und u sIgIIng. UnLII, IIke u cIup oI LIunder, Ieur Dr.
BIedsoe's voIce rIng ouL wIIp-IIke wILI uuLIorILv, u song oI Iope. And
us we sLreLcI LIe ounder upon u bencI Lo resL, Ieur Dr. BIedsoe
sLompIng ouL LIe LIme wILI mIgILv sLrokes upon LIe IoIIow pIuLIorm,
commundIng noL In words buL In LIe greuL guL-Lones oI IIs mugnIIIcenL
busso-oI, buL wusn'L Ie u sInger? sn'L Ie u sInger sLIII Loduv?-und
LIev sLund, LIev cuIm, und wILI IIm LIev sIng ouL uguInsL LIe LoLLerIng
oI LIeIr gIunL. SIng ouL LIeIr Iong bIuck songs oI bIood und bones:
"MeunIng HOPE!
"OI IurdsIIp und puIn:
"MeunIng ATH!
"OI IumbIeness und ubsurdILv:
"MeunIng ENDURANCE!
"OI ceuseIess sLruggIe In durkness, meunIng:
"TRUMPH . . .
"Hu!" Burbee crIed, sIuppIng IIs Iunds, "Hu! SIngIng verse uILer
verse, unLII LIe Ieuder revIved!" (SIup, sIup oI IIs Iunds.)
"Addressed LIem"-
(SIup!) "Mv God, mv God!
"Assured LIem"-(SIup!)
"TIuL"-(SIup!)
"He wus onIv LIred oI IIs ceuseIess eIIorLs." (SIup!) "Yes, und
dIsmIsses LIem, sendIng eucI on IIs wuv rejoIcIng, gIvIng eucI u
purLIng IundsIuke oI IeIIowsIIp . . ."
wuLcIed Burbee puce In u semIcIrcIe, IIs IIps compressed, IIs
Iuce workIng wILI emoLIon, IIs puIms meeLIng buL mukIng no sound.
"AI, LIose duvs In wIIcI Ie LIIIed IIs mIgILv IIeIds, LIose duvs In
wIIcI Ie wuLcIed LIe crops Luke IoId und grow, LIose vouLIIuI,
summerv, sun-brIgIL duvs . . ."
Burbee's voIce sIgIed oII In nosLuIgIu. TIe cIupeI IurdIv breuLIed
us Ie sIgIed deepIv. TIen wuLcIed IIm produce u snowv
IundkercIIeI, remove IIs durk gIusses und wIpe IIs eves, und LIrougI
LIe IncreusIng dIsLunce oI mv IsoIuLIon, wuLcIed LIe men In LIe seuLs
oI Ionor sIowIv sIuke LIeIr speIIbound Ieuds. TIen Burbee's voIce
begun uguIn, dIsembodIed now, und IL wus us LIougI Ie Iud never
puused, us LIougI IIs words, reverberuLIng wILIIn us, Iud conLInued
LIeIr rIvLImIc IIow LIougI LIeIr source wus Ior u momenL sLIIIed:
"OI, ves, mv voung IrIends, oI, ves," Ie conLInued wILI u greuL
sudness. "Mun's Iope cun puInL u purpIe pIcLure, cun LrunsIorm u
sourIng vuILure InLo u nobIe eugIe or u mounIng dove. OI, ves! BuL
knew," Ie sIouLed, sLurLIIng me. "n spILe oI LIuL greuL, unguIsIed Iope
wILIIn me, knew-knew LIuL LIe greuL spIrIL wus decIInIng, wus
upproucIIng ILs IoneIv wInLer; LIe greuL sun goIng down. or
someLImes IL Is gIven one Lo know LIese LIIngs . . . And sLuggered
under LIe uwIuI burden oI LIuL knowIedge und cursed mvseII becuuse
bore IL. BuL sucI wus LIe ounder's enLIusIusm-oI, ves!-LIuL us we
sped Irom counLrv Lown Lo counLrv Lown LIrougI LIe gIorIous ndIun
summer, soon IorgoL. And LIen . . . And LIen . . . und . . . LIen . . ."
IIsLened Lo IIs voIce IuII Lo u wIIsper; IIs Iunds were ouLspreud
us LIougI Ie were IeudIng un orcIesLru InLo u proIound und IInuI
dImInuendo. TIen IIs voIce rose uguIn, crIspIv, uImosL muLLer-oI-IucLIv,
ucceIeruLed:
" remember LIe sLurL oI LIe LruIn, Iow IL seemed Lo groun us IL
sLurLed up LIe sLeep grude InLo LIe mounLuIn. L wus coId. rosL Iormed
ILs Icv puLLerns upon LIe wIndow's edges. And LIe wIIsLIe oI LIe LruIn
wus Iong-druwn und IoneIv, u sIgI IssuIng Irom LIe depLIs oI LIe
mounLuIn.
"n LIe cur up uIeud, In LIe PuIImun ussIgned IIm bv LIe verv
presIdenL oI LIe IIne, LIe euder Iuv LossIng. He Iud been sLruck wILI u
sudden und mvsLerIous sIckness. And knew In spILe oI LIe unguIsI
wILIIn me LIuL LIe sun goeLI down, Ior LIe Ieuvens LIemseIves
conveved LIuL knowIedge. TIe rusI oI LIe LruIn, LIe cIIckIng oI wIeeIs
upon LIe sLeeI. remember Iow Iooked ouL oI LIe IrosLed pune und
suw LIe IoomIng greuL NorLI SLur und IosL IL, us LIougI LIe skv Iud
sIuL ILs eve. TIe LruIn wus curvIng LIe mounLuIn, LIe engIne IopIng IIke
u greuL bIuck Iound, puruIIeI wILI LIe IusL cureenIng curs, punLIng IorLI
ILs puIe wIILe vupor us IL IurIed us ever IIgIer. And sIorLIv LIe skv wus
bIuck, wILIouL u moon . . ."
As IIs "mooo-o-on" ecIoed over LIe cIupeI, Ie drew IIs cIIn
uguInsL IIs cIesL unLII IIs wIILe coIIur dIsuppeured, IeuvIng IIm u IIgure
oI buIunced unbroken bIuckness, und couId Ieur LIe rusp oI uIr us Ie
InIuIed.
"L wus us LIougI LIe verv consLeIIuLIons knew our ImpendIng
sorrow," Ie bugIed, IIs Ieud ruIsed Lo LIe ceIIIng, IIs voIce IuII-
LIrouLed. "or uguInsL LIuL greuL-wIde-sweep oI subIe LIere cume LIe
bursL oI u sIngIe jeweI-IIke sLur, und suw IL sIImmer, und breuk, und
sLreuk down LIe cIeek oI LIuL couI-bIuck skv IIke u reIucLunL und
soIILurv Leur . . ."
He sIook IIs Ieud wILI greuL emoLIon, IIs IIps pursed us Ie
mouned, "Mmmmmmmmmm," LurnIng Lowurd Dr. BIedsoe us LIougI
Ie dId noL quILe see IIm. "AL LIuL IuLeIuI momenL . . . Mmmmmm, suL
wILI vour greuL presIdenL . . . Mmmmmmmmmm! He wus deep In
medILuLIon us we uwuILed word Irom LIe men oI scIence, und Ie suId Lo
me oI LIuL dvIng sLur,
" 'Burbee, IrIend, dId vou see?'
"And unswered, 'Yes, DocLor, suw.'
"And uL our LIrouLs uIreudv we IeIL LIe coId Iunds oI sorrow. And
suId Lo Dr. BIedsoe, 'eL us pruv.' And us we kneIL LIere on LIe swuvIng
IIoor our words were Iess pruvers LIun sounds oI muLe und LerrIbIe
sorrow. And IL wus LIen, us we puIIed Lo our IeeL, sLuggerIng wILI LIe
moLIon oI LIuL speedIng LruIn, LIuL we suw LIe pIvsIcIun movIng
Lowurd us. And we Iooked wILI buLed breuLI InLo LIe bIunk und
expressIonIess IeuLures oI LIe mun oI scIence, uskIng wILI our LoLuI
beIngs: Do vou brIng us Iope or dIsusLer? And IL wus LIen und LIere Ie
InIormed us LIuL LIe euder wus neurIng IIs desLInuLIon . . .
"L wus suId, LIe crueI bIow Iud IuIIen und we were IeIL numb, buL
LIe ounder wus sLIII Ior LIe momenL wILI us und sLIII In commund.
And, oI uII In LIe LruveIIng purLv, Ie senL Ior IIm wIo sILs LIere beIore
vou, und Ior me us u mun oI God. BuL Ie wunLed muInIv IIs IrIend oI
mIdnIgIL consuILuLIons, IIs comrude oI munv buLLIes, wIo over LIe
weurv veurs Iud remuIned sLeudIusL In deIeuL us In vIcLorv.
"Even now cun see IL, LIe durk pussuge IIL wILI dIm IIgILs und Dr.
BIedsoe swuvIng us Ie wenL beIore me. AL LIe door sLood LIe porLer und
LIe conducLor, u bIuck mun und u wIILe mun oI LIe SouLI, boLI crvIng.
BoLI weepIng. And Ie Iooked up us we enLered, IIs greuL eves resIgned
buL sLIII uIIume wILI nobIIILv und couruge uguInsL LIe wIILe oI IIs
pIIIow; und Ie Iooked uL IIs IrIend und smIIed. SmIIed wurmIv uL IIs
oId cumpuIgner, IIs IovuI cIumpIon, IIs udjuncL, LIuL murveIous sInger
oI LIe oId songs wIo Iud ruIIIed IIs spIrIL durIng LImes oI dIsLress und
dIscourugemenL, wIo wILI IIs sIngIng oI LIe oId IumIIIur meIodIes
sooLIed LIe doubLs und Ieurs oI LIe muILILude; Ie wIo Iud ruIIIed LIe
IgnorunL, LIe IeurIuI und suspIcIous, LIose sLIII wrupped In LIe rugs oI
sIuverv; IIm, LIere, vour Ieuder, wIo cuImed LIe cIIIdren oI LIe sLorm.
And us LIe ounder Iooked up uL IIs compunIon, Ie smIIed. And
reucIIng ouL IIs Iund Lo IIs IrIend und compunIon us now sLreLcI ouL
mv Iund Lo vou, Ie suId, 'Come cIoser. Come cIoser.' And Ie moved
cIoser, unLII Ie sLood besIde LIe berLI, und LIe IIgIL sIunLIng ucross IIs
sIouIder us Ie kneIL besIde IIm. And LIe Iund reucIed ouL und genLIv
LoucIed IIm und Ie suId, 'Now, vou musL Luke on LIe burden. eud
LIem LIe resL oI LIe wuv.' And oI, LIe crv oI LIuL LruIn und LIe puIn Loo
bIg Ior Leurs!
"WIen LIe LruIn reucIed LIe summIL oI LIe mounLuIn, Ie wus no
Ionger wILI us. And us LIe LruIn dropped down LIe grude Ie Iud
depurLed.
"L Iud become u verILubIe LruIn oI sorrow. Dr. BIedsoe LIere, suL
weurv In mInd und Ieuvv oI IeurL. WIuL sIouId Ie do? TIe euder wus
deud und Ie LIrown suddenIv uL LIe Ieud oI LIe Lroops IIke u
cuvuIrvmun cuLupuILed InLo LIe suddIe oI IIs generuI IeIIed In u cIurge
oI buLLIe-vuuILed onLo LIe buck oI IIs IIerv und IuII-broken cIurger. AI!
And LIuL greuL, bIuck, nobIe beusL, wuII-eved wILI LIe dIn oI buLLIe und
LwILcIIng uIreudv wILI ILs sense oI Ioss. WIuL commund sIouId Ie gIve?
SIouId Ie reLurn wILI IIs burden, Iome, Lo wIere uIreudv LIe IoL wIres
were IIusIIng, speukIng, ruLLIIng LIe mournIuI messuge? SIouId Ie Lurn
und beur LIe IuIIen soIdIer down LIe coId und uIIen mounLuIn Lo LIIs
vuIIev Iome? ReLurn wILI LIe deur eves duIIed, LIe IIrm Iund sLIII, LIe
mugnIIIcenL voIce sIIenL, LIe euder coId? ReLurn Lo LIe wurm vuIIev, Lo
LIe green grounds Ie couId no Ionger IIgIL wILI IIs morLuI vIsIon?
SIouId Ie IoIIow IIs euder's vIsIon LIougI Ie Iud now IImseII
depurLed?
"AI, oI course vou know LIe sLorv: How Ie bore LIe bodv InLo LIe
sLrunge cILv, und LIe speecI Ie mude us IIs euder Iuv In sLuLe, und Iow
wIen LIe sud news spreud, u duv oI mournIng wus decIured Ior LIe
wIoIe munIcIpuIILv. OI, und Iow rIcI und poor, bIuck und wIILe, weuk
und powerIuI, voung und oId, uII cume Lo puv LIeIr Iomuge-munv
reuIIzIng LIe euder's worLI und LIeIr Ioss onIv now wILI IIs pussIng.
And Iow, wILI IIs mIssIon done, Dr. BIedsoe reLurned, keepIng IIs
sorrowIuI vIgII wILI IIs IrIend In un IumbIe bugguge cur; und Iow LIe
peopIe cume Lo puv LIeIr respecLs uL LIe sLuLIons . . . A sIow LruIn. A
sorrowIuI LruIn. And uII uIong LIe IIne, In mounLuIn und vuIIev,
wIerever LIe ruIIs Iound LIeIr IuLeIuI course, LIe peopIe were one In
LIeIr common mournIng, und IIke LIe coId sLeeI ruIIs, were spIked
down Lo LIeIr sorrow. OI, wIuL u sud depurLure!
"And wIuL un even sudder urrIvuI. See wILI me, mv voung IrIends,
Ieur wILI me: TIe weepIng und wuIIIng oI LIose wIo sIured IIs Iubors.
TIeIr sweeL euder reLurned Lo LIem, rock-coId In LIe Iron ImmobIIILv
oI deuLI. He wIo Iud IeIL LIem quIck, In LIe prIme oI IIs munIood,
uuLIor oI LIeIr own IIre und IIIumInuLIon, reLurned Lo LIem coId,
uIreudv u bronzed sLuLue. OI, LIe despuIr, mv voung IrIends. TIe bIuck
despuIr oI bIuck peopIe! see LIem now; wunderIng ubouL LIese
grounds, wIere eucI brIck, eucI bIrd, eucI bIude oI gruss wus u
remInder oI some precIous memorv; und eucI memorv u Iummer
sLroke drIvIng Iome LIe bIunL spIkes oI LIeIr sorrow. OI, ves, some
now ure Iere gruv-IuIred umong vou, sLIII dedIcuLed Lo IIs vIsIon, sLIII
IuborIng In LIe vInevurd. BuL LIen wILI LIe bIuck-druped coIIIn IvIng In
sLuLe umong LIem-InescupubIv remIndIng LIem-LIev IeIL LIe durk
nIgIL oI sIuverv seLLIIng once more upon LIem. TIev smeIL LIuL oId
obscene sLInk oI durkness, LIuL oId sIuverv smeII, worse LIun LIe runk
IuIILosIs oI Iourv deuLI. TIeIr sweeL IIgIL encIosed In u bIuck-druped
coIIIn, LIeIr mujesLIc sun snuLcIed beIInd u cIoud.
"OI, und LIe sud sound oI weepIng bugIes! cun Ieur LIem now,
sLuLIoned uL LIe Iour corners oI LIe cumpus, soundIng Lups Ior LIe
IuIIen generuI; unnouncIng und re-unnouncIng LIe sud LIdIngs, LeIIIng
und reLeIIIng LIe sud reveIuLIon one Lo LIe oLIer ucross LIe sLIII
numbness oI LIe uIr, us LIougI LIev couId noL beIIeve IL, couId neILIer
compreIend nor uccepL IL; bugIes weepIng IIke u IumIIv oI Lender
women IumenLIng LIeIr Ioved one. And LIe peopIe cume Lo sIng LIe oId
songs und Lo express LIeIr unspeukubIe sorrow. BIuck, bIuck, bIuck!
BIuck peopIe In bIucker mournIng, LIe IuneruI crupe Iung upon LIeIr
nuked IeurLs; sIngIng unusIumedIv LIeIr bIuck IoIk's songs oI sorrow,
movIng puInIuIIv, overIIowIng LIe curvIng wuIks, weepIng und wuIIIng
beneuLI LIe droopIng Lrees und LIeIr Iow murmurIng voIces IIke LIe
mouns oI wInds In u wIIderness. And IInuIIv LIev guLIered on LIe IIII
sIope und us Iur us LIe Leur-weL eves couId see, LIev sLood wILI LIeIr
Ieuds bowed, sIngIng.
"TIen sIIence. TIe Ionesome IoIe bunked wILI poIgnunL IIowers.
TIe dozen wIILe-gIoved Iunds wuILIng LuuL upon LIe sIIken ropes. TIuL
uwIuI sIIence. TIe IInuI words ure spoken. A sIngIe wIId rose Lossed
IureweII, bursLs sIowIv, ILs peLuIs drIILIng snowIIke upon LIe reIucLunLIv
Iowered coIIIn. TIen down InLo LIe eurLI; buck Lo LIe uncIenL dusL;
buck Lo LIe coId bIuck cIuv . . . moLIer . . . oI us uII."
As Burbee puused LIe sIIence wus so compIeLe LIuL couId Ieur
LIe power engInes Iur ucross LIe cumpus LIrobbIng LIe nIgIL IIke un
excILed puIse. SomewIere In LIe uudIence un oId womun's voIce begun
u pIuInLIve wuII; LIe bIrLI oI u sud, unLormuIuLed song LIuL dIed
sLIIIborn In u sob.
Burbee sLood wILI IIs Ieud LIrown buck, IIs urms rIgId uL IIs
sIdes, IIs IIsLs cIencIed us LIougI IIgILIng desperuLeIv Ior conLroI. Dr.
BIedsoe suL wILI IIs Iuce In IIs Iunds. Neur me someone bIew IIs nose.
Burbee Look u LoLLerIng sLep Iorwurd.
"OI, ves. OI, ves," Ie suId. "OI, ves. TIuL Loo Is purL oI LIe
gIorIous sLorv. BuL LIInk oI IL noL us u deuLI, buL us u bIrLI. A greuL seed
Iud been pIunLed. A seed wIIcI Ius conLInued Lo puL IorLI ILs IruIL In
ILs seuson us sureIv us II LIe greuL creuLor Iud been resurrecLed. or In u
sense Ie wus, II noL In LIe IIesI, In LIe spIrIL. And In u sense In LIe IIesI
Loo. or Ius noL vour presenL Ieuder become IIs IIvIng ugenL, IIs
pIvsIcuI presence? ook ubouL vou II vou doubL IL. Mv voung IrIends,
mv deur voung IrIends! How cun LeII vou wIuL munner oI mun LIIs Is
wIo Ieuds vou? How cun convev Lo vou Iow weII Ie Ius kepL IIs
pIedge Lo LIe ounder, Iow conscIenLIous Ius been IIs sLewurdsIIp?
"IrsL, vou musL see LIe scIooI us IL wus. AIreudv u greuL
InsLILuLIon, Lo be sure; buL LIen LIe buIIdIngs were eIgIL, now LIev ure
LwenLv; LIen LIe IucuILv wus IIILv, now IL Is Lwo Iundred; LIen LIe
sLudenL bodv wus u Iew Iundred, wIere now 'm LoId vou ure LIree
LIousund. And now wIere vou Iuve rouds oI uspIuIL Ior LIe pussuge oI
rubber LIres, LIen LIe rouds were oI crusIed sLone Ior LIe pussuge oI
oxen, und muIe Leums, und Iorse-druwn wugons. Iuve noL LIe words
Lo LeII vou Iow mv IeurL sweIIed Lo reLurn Lo LIIs greuL InsLILuLIon uILer
so greuL u wIIIe Lo move umong ILs weuILI oI green LIIngs, ILs IruILIuI
IurmIund und IrugrunL cumpus. AI! und LIe murveIous pIunL suppIvIng
power Lo un ureu Iurger LIun munv Lowns-uII operuLed bv bIuck Iunds.
TIus, mv voung IrIends, does LIe IIgIL oI LIe ounder sLIII burn. Your
Ieuder Ius kepL IIs promIse u LIousundIoId. commend IIm In IIs own
rIgIL, Ior Ie Is LIe co-urcIILecL oI u greuL und nobIe experImenL. He Is u
worLIv successor Lo IIs greuL IrIend und IL Is no uccIdenL LIuL IIs greuL
und InLeIIIgenL IeudersIIp Ius mude IIm our IeudIng sLuLesmun. TIIs Is
u Iorm oI greuLness worLIv oI vour ImILuLIon. suv Lo vou, puLLern
vourseIves upon IIm. AspIre, eucI oI vou, Lo some duv IoIIow In IIs
IooLsLeps. GreuL deeds ure veL Lo be perIormed. or we ure u voung,
LIougI u IusL-rIsIng, peopIe. egends ure sLIII Lo be creuLed. Be noL
uIruId Lo underLuke LIe burdens oI vour Ieuder, und LIe work oI LIe
ounder wIII be one oI ever unIoIdIng gIorv, LIe IIsLorv oI LIe ruce u
sugu oI mounLIng LrIumpIs."
Burbee sLood wILI IIs urms ouLsLreLcIed now, beumIng over LIe
uudIence, IIs BuddIu-IIke bodv sLIII us un onvx bouIder. TIere wus
snIIIIIng LIrougIouL LIe cIupeI. VoIces murmured wILI udmIruLIon und
IeIL more IosL LIun ever. or u Iew mInuLes oId Burbee Iud mude me
see LIe vIsIon und now knew LIuL IeuvIng LIe cumpus wouId be IIke
LIe purLIng oI IIesI. wuLcIed IIm Iower IIs urms now und sLurL buck
Lo IIs cIuIr, movIng sIowIv wILI IIs Ieud cocked us LIougI IIsLenIng Lo
dIsLunL musIc. Iud Iowered mv Ieud Lo wIpe mv eves wIen Ieurd LIe
sIocked gusp urIse.
ookIng up, suw Lwo oI LIe wIILe LrusLees movIng swIILIv ucross
LIe pIuLIorm Lo wIere Burbee IIoundered upon Dr. BIedsoe's Iegs. TIe
oId mun sIId Iorwurd upon IIs Iunds und knees us LIe Lwo wIILe men
Look IIs urms; und now us Ie sLood suw one oI LIem reucI Ior
someLIIng on LIe IIoor und pIuce IL In IIs Iunds. L wus wIen Ie ruIsed
IIs Ieud LIuL suw IL. or u swIIL InsLunL, beLween LIe gesLure und LIe
opuque gIILLer oI IIs gIusses, suw LIe bIInkIng oI sIgILIess eves. Homer
A. Burbee wus bIInd.
ULLerIng upoIogIes, Dr. BIedsoe IeIped IIm Lo IIs cIuIr. TIen us
LIe oId mun resLed buck wILI u smIIe, Dr. BIedsoe wuIked Lo LIe edge oI
LIe pIuLIorm und IIILed IIs urms. cIosed mv eves us Ieurd LIe deep
mounIng sound LIuL Issued Irom IIm, und LIe rIsIng crescendo oI LIe
sLudenL bodv joInIng In. TIIs LIme IL wus musIc sIncereIv IeIL, noL
rendered Ior LIe guesLs, buL Ior LIemseIves; u song oI Iope und
exuILuLIon. wunLed Lo rusI Irom LIe buIIdIng, buL dIdn'L dure. suL
sLIII und erecL, supporLed bv LIe Iurd bencI, reIvIng upon IL us upon u
Iorm oI Iope.
couId noL Iook uL Dr. BIedsoe now, becuuse oId Burbee Iud mude
me boLI IeeI mv guIIL und uccepL IL. or uILIougI Iud noL InLended IL,
unv ucL LIuL endungered LIe conLInuILv oI LIe dreum wus un ucL oI
Lreuson.
dId noL IIsLen Lo LIe nexL speuker, u LuII wIILe mun wIo kepL
dubbIng uL IIs eves wILI u IundkercIIeI und repeuLIng IIs pIruses In un
emoLIonuI und InurLIcuIuLe munner. TIen LIe orcIesLru pIuved excerpLs
Irom Dvoruk's New WorId SvmpIonv und kepL IeurIng "SwIng ow
SweeL CIurIoL" resoundIng LIrougI ILs domInunL LIeme-mv moLIer's
und grundIuLIer's IuvorILe spIrILuuI. L wus more LIun couId sLund,
und beIore LIe nexL speuker couId begIn IurrIed pusL LIe
dIsupprovIng eves oI LeucIers und muLrons, ouL InLo LIe nIgIL.
A mockIngbIrd LrIIIed u noLe Irom wIere IL percIed upon LIe Iund
oI LIe moonIIL ounder, IIIppIng ILs moon-mud LuII ubove LIe Ieud oI
LIe eLernuIIv kneeIIng sIuve. wenL up LIe sIudowv drIve, Ieurd IL LrIII
beIInd me. TIe sLreeL Iumps gIowed brIIIIunL In LIe moonIIL dreum oI
LIe cumpus, eucI IIgIL serene In ILs cuge oI sIudows.
mIgIL weII Iuve wuILed unLII LIe end oI LIe servIces, Ior Iudn'L
gone Iur wIen Ieurd LIe dIm, brIgIL noLes oI LIe orcIesLru sLrIkIng up
u murcI, IoIIowed bv u bursL oI voIces us LIe sLudenLs IIIed ouL InLo LIe
nIgIL. WILI u IeeIIng oI dreud Ieuded Ior LIe udmInIsLruLIon buIIdIng,
und upon reucIIng IL, sLood In LIe durkened doorwuv. Mv mInd
IIuLLered IIke LIe moLIs LIuL veIIed LIe sLreeL Iump wIIcI cusL sIudows
upon LIe bunk oI gruss beIow me. wouId now Iuve mv reuI InLervIew
wILI Dr. BIedsoe, und recuIIed Burbee's uddress wILI resenLmenL.
WILI sucI words IresI In IIs mInd, wus sure Dr. BIedsoe wouId be Iur
Iess svmpuLIeLIc Lo mv pIeu. sLood In LIuL durkened doorwuv LrvIng Lo
probe mv IuLure II were expeIIed. WIere wouId go, wIuL wouId do?
How couId ever reLurn Iome?
CIupLer 6
Down LIe sIopIng Iuwn beIow me LIe muIe sLudenLs moved Lowurd
LIeIr dormILorIes, seemIng Iur uwuv Irom me now, remoLe, und eucI
sIudowv Iorm vusLIv superIor Lo me, wIo Iud bv some sIorLcomIng
cusL mvseII InLo LIe durkness uwuv Irom uII LIuL wus worLIwIIIe und
InspIrIng. IIsLened Lo one group IurmonIze quIeLIv us LIev pussed. TIe
smeII oI IresI breud beIng prepured In LIe bukerv drIILed Lo me. TIe
good wIILe breud oI breukIusL; LIe roIIs drIppIng wILI veIIow buLLer
LIuL Iud sIIpped InLo mv pockeL so oILen Lo be muncIed IuLer In mv
room wILI wIId bIuckberrv jum Irom Iome.
IgILs begun Lo uppeur In LIe gIrIs' dormILorIes, IIke LIe bursLIng
oI IumInous seeds IIung broudsIde bv un InvIsIbIe Iund. SeveruI curs
roIIed bv. suw u group oI oId women wIo IIved In LIe Lown
upproucIIng. One used u cune wIIcI Irom LIme Lo LIme sIe Lupped
IoIIowIv upon LIe wuIk IIke u bIInd mun. SnuLcIes oI LIeIr conversuLIon
IIuLLered Lo me us LIev dIscussed Burbee's LuIk wILI enLIusIusm,
recuIIed LIe LImes oI LIe ounder, LIeIr quuverIng voIces weuvIng und
embroIderIng IIs sLorv. TIen down LIe Iong uvenue oI Lrees suw LIe
IumIIIur CudIIIuc upproucIIng und sLurLed InsIde LIe buIIdIng, suddenIv
IIIIed wILI punIc. Iudn'L gone Lwo sLeps beIore Lurned und IurrIed
ouL InLo LIe nIgIL uguIn. couIdn'L sLund Lo Iuce Dr. BIedsoe
ImmedIuLeIv. wus IuIrIv sIIverIng us IeII In beIInd u group oI bovs
goIng up LIe drIve. TIev were urguIng some poInL IeuLedIv, buL wus
Loo ugILuLed Lo IIsLen und sImpIv IoIIowed In LIeIr sIudows, noLIcIng LIe
duII gIeum oI LIeIr poIIsIed sIoe-IeuLIer In LIe ruvs oI LIe sLreeL Iumps.
kepL LrvIng Lo IormuIuLe wIuL wouId suv Lo Dr. BIedsoe, und LIe bovs
musL Iuve Lurned InLo LIeIr buIIdIng, Ior suddenIv IIndIng mvseII
ouLsIde LIe guLes oI LIe cumpus und IeudIng down LIe IIgIwuv,
Lurned und run buck Lo LIe buIIdIng.
WIen wenL In Ie wus wIpIng IIs neck wILI u bIue-bordered
IundkercIIeI. TIe sIuded Iump cuLcIIng LIe Ienses oI IIs gIusses IeIL
IuII oI IIs broud Iuce In sIudow us IIs cIencIed IIsLs sLreLcIed IuII IorLI
In LIe IIgIL beIore IIm. sLood, IesILuLIng In LIe door, uwure suddenIv
oI LIe oId Ieuvv IurnIsIIngs, LIe reIIcs Irom LIe LImes oI LIe ounder,
LIe Irumed porLruIL pIoLogrupIs und reIIeI pIuques oI presIdenLs und
IndusLrIuIIsLs, men oI power-IIxed IIke LropIIes or IeruIdIc embIems
upon LIe wuIIs.
"Come In," Ie suId Irom LIe IuII-sIudow; LIen suw IIm move
und IIs Ieud comIng Iorwurd, IIs eves burnIng.
He begun mIIdIv, us II quIeLIv jokIng, LIrowIng me oII buIunce.
"Bov," Ie suId, " undersLund LIuL vou noL onIv currIed Mr. NorLon
ouL Lo LIe QuurLers buL LIuL vou wound up uL LIuL sInkIoIe, LIuL GoIden
Duv."
L wus u sLuLemenL, noL u quesLIon. suId noLIIng und Ie Iooked uL
me wILI LIe sume mIId guze. Hud Burbee IeIped Mr. NorLon soILen
IIm?
"No," Ie suId, "IL wusn'L enougI Lo Luke IIm Lo LIe QuurLers, vou
Iud Lo muke LIe compIeLe Lour, Lo gIve IIm LIe IuII LreuLmenL. Wus LIuL
IL?"
"No, sIr . . . meun LIuL Ie wus III, sIr," suId. "He Iud Lo Iuve
some wIIskev . . ."
"And LIuL wus LIe onIv pIuce vou knew Lo go," Ie suId. "So vou
wenL LIere becuuse vou were LukIng cure oI IIm . . ."
"Yes, sIr . . ."
"And noL onIv LIuL," Ie suId In u voIce LIuL boLI mocked und
murveIed, "vou Look IIm ouL und suL IIm down on LIe guIIerv, verundu
-pIuzzu-wIuLever LIev cuII IL now'duvs-und InLroduced IIm Lo LIe
quuIILv!"
"QuuIILv?" Irowned. "OI-buL Ie InsIsLed LIuL sLop, sIr. TIere
wus noLIIng couId do . . ."
"OI course," Ie suId. "OI course."
"He wus InLeresLed In LIe cubIns, sIr. He wus surprIsed LIuL LIere
were unv IeIL."
"So nuLuruIIv vou sLopped," Ie suId, bowIng IIs Ieud uguIn.
"Yes, sIr."
"Yes, und suppose LIe cubIn opened up und LoId IIm ILs IIIe
IIsLorv und uII LIe cIoIce gossIp?"
sLurLed Lo expIuIn.
"Bov!" Ie expIoded. "Are vou serIous? WIv were vou ouL on LIuL
roud In LIe IIrsL pIuce? Weren'L vou beIInd LIe wIeeI?"
"Yes, sIr . . ."
"TIen Iuven'L we bowed und scruped und begged und IIed enougI
decenL Iomes und drIves Ior vou Lo sIow IIm? DId vou LIInk LIuL wIILe
mun Iud Lo come u LIousund mIIes-uII LIe wuv Irom New York und
BosLon und PIIIudeIpIIu jusL Ior vou Lo sIow IIm u sIum? Don'L jusL
sLund LIere, suv someLIIng!"
"BuL wus onIv drIvIng IIm, sIr. onIv sLopped LIere uILer Ie
ordered me Lo . . ."
"Ordered vou?" Ie suId. "He ordered vou. DummIL, wIILe IoIk ure
uIwuvs gIvIng orders, IL's u IubIL wILI LIem. WIv dIdn'L vou muke un
excuse? CouIdn'L vou suv LIev Iud sIckness-smuIIpox-or pIcked
unoLIer cubIn? WIv LIuL TruebIood sIuck? Mv God, bov! You're bIuck
und IIvIng In LIe SouLI-dId vou IorgeL Iow Lo IIe?"
"Ie, sIr? Ie Lo IIm, IIe Lo u LrusLee, sIr? Me?"
He sIook IIs Ieud wILI u kInd oI unguIsI. "And me LIInkIng 'd
pIcked u bov wILI bruIn," Ie suId. "DIdn'L vou know vou were
endungerIng LIe scIooI?"
"BuL wus onIv LrvIng Lo pIeuse IIm . . ."
"PIeuse IIm? And Iere vou ure u junIor In coIIege! WIv, LIe
dumbesL bIuck busLurd In LIe coLLon puLcI knows LIuL LIe onIv wuv Lo
pIeuse u wIILe mun Is Lo LeII IIm u IIe! WIuL kInd oI educuLIon ure vou
geLLIng uround Iere? WIo reuIIv LoId vou Lo Luke IIm ouL LIere?" Ie
suId.
"He dId, sIr. No one eIse."
"Don'L IIe Lo me!"
"TIuL's LIe LruLI, sIr."
" wurn vou now, wIo suggesLed IL?"
" sweur, sIr. No one LoId me."
"NIgger, LIIs Isn'L LIe LIme Lo IIe. 'm no wIILe mun. TeII me LIe
LruLI!"
L wus us LIougI Ie'd sLruck me. sLured ucross LIe desk LIInkIng,
He cuIIed me LIuL . . .
"Answer me, bov!"
TIuL, LIougIL, noLIcIng LIe LIrobbIng oI u veIn LIuL rose beLween
IIs eves, LIInkIng, He cuIIed me LIuL.
" wouIdn'L IIe, sIr," suId.
"TIen wIo wus LIuL puLIenL vou were LuIkIng wILI?"
" never suw IIm beIore, sIr."
"WIuL wus Ie suvIng?"
" cun'L recuII IL uII," muLLered. "TIe mun wus ruvIng."
"Speuk up. WIuL dId Ie suv?"
"He LIInks LIuL Ie IIved In runce und LIuL Ie's u greuL docLor . . ."
"ConLInue."
"He suId LIuL beIIeved LIuL wIILe wus rIgIL," suId.
"WIuL?" SuddenIv IIs Iuce LwILcIed und crucked IIke LIe surIuce
oI durk wuLer. "And vou do, don'L vou?" Dr. BIedsoe suId, suppressIng u
nusLv IuugI. "WeII, don'L vou?"
dId noL unswer, LIInkIng, You, vou . . .
"WIo wus Ie, dId vou ever see IIm beIore?"
"No, sIr, Iudn'L."
"Wus Ie norLIern or souLIern?"
" don'L know, sIr."
He sLruck IIs desk. "CoIIege Ior Negroes! Bov, wIuL do vou know
oLIer LIun Iow Lo ruIn un InsLILuLIon In IuII un Iour LIuL IL Look over
IuII u Iundred veurs Lo buIId? DId Ie LuIk norLIern or souLIern?"
"He LuIked IIke u wIILe mun," suId, "excepL LIuL IIs voIce
sounded souLIern, IIke one oI ours . . ."
"'II Iuve Lo InvesLIguLe IIm," Ie suId. "A Negro IIke LIuL sIouId be
under Iock und kev."
Across LIe cumpus u cIock sLruck LIe quurLer Iour und someLIIng
InsIde me seemed Lo muIIIe ILs sound. Lurned Lo IIm desperuLeIv. "Dr.
BIedsoe, 'm uwIuIIv sorrv. Iud no InLenLIon oI goIng LIere buL LIIngs
jusL goL ouL oI Iund. Mr. NorLon undersLunds Iow IL Iuppened . . ."
"IsLen Lo me, bov," Ie suId IoudIv. "NorLon Is one mun und 'm
unoLIer, und wIIIe Ie mIgIL LIInk Ie's suLIsIIed, know LIuL Ie Isn'L!
Your poor judgmenL Ius cuused LIIs scIooI IncuIcuIubIe dumuge.
nsLeud oI upIIILIng LIe ruce, vou've Lorn IL down."
He Iooked uL me us LIougI Iud commILLed LIe worsL crIme
ImugInubIe. "Don'L vou know we cun'L LoIeruLe sucI u LIIng? guve vou
un opporLunILv Lo serve one oI our besL wIILe IrIends, u mun wIo couId
muke vour IorLune. BuL In reLurn vou drugged LIe enLIre ruce InLo LIe
sIIme!" SuddenIv Ie reucIed Ior someLIIng beneuLI u pIIe oI pupers, un
oId Ieg sIuckIe Irom sIuverv wIIcI Ie proudIv cuIIed u "svmboI oI our
progress."
"You've goL Lo be dIscIpIIned, bov," Ie suId. "TIere's no IIs und
unds ubouL IL."
"BuL vou guve Mr. NorLon vour word . . ."
"Don'L sLund LIere und LeII me wIuL uIreudv know. RegurdIess oI
wIuL suId, us LIe Ieuder oI LIIs InsLILuLIon cun'L possIbIv IeL LIIs puss.
Bov, 'm geLLIng rId oI vou!" L musL Iuve Iuppened wIen LIe meLuI
sLruck LIe desk, Ior suddenIv wus IeunIng Lowurd IIm, sIouLIng wILI
ouLruge.
"'II LeII IIm," suId. "'II go Lo Mr. NorLon und LeII IIm. You've IIed
Lo boLI oI us . . ."
"WIuL!" Ie suId. "You Iuve LIe nerve Lo LIreuLen me . . . In mv
own oIIIce?"
"'II LeII IIm," screumed. "'II LeII evervbodv. 'II IIgIL vou. sweur
IL, 'II IIgIL!"
"WeII," Ie suId, sILLIng buck, "weII, 'II be dumned!" or u momenL
Ie Iooked me up und down und suw IIs Ieud go buck InLo LIe sIudow,
IeurIng u IIgI, LIIn sound IIke u crv oI ruge; LIen IIs Iuce cume Iorwurd
und suw IIs IuugILer. or un InsLunL sLured; LIen wIeeIed und
sLurLed Ior LIe door, IeurIng IIm spuLLer, "WuIL, wuIL," beIInd me.
Lurned. He gusped Ior breuLI, proppIng IIs Iuge Ieud up wILI
IIs Iunds us Leurs sLreumed down IIs Iuce.
"Come on, come," Ie suId, removIng IIs gIusses und wIpIng IIs
eves. "Come on, son," IIs voIce umused und concIIIuLorv. L wus us
LIougI were beIng puL LIrougI u IruLernILv InILIuLIon und Iound
mvseII goIng buck. He Iooked uL me, sLIII IuugIIng wILI ugonv. Mv eves
burned.
"Bov, vou ure u IooI," Ie suId. "Your wIILe IoIk dIdn'L LeucI vou
unvLIIng und vour moLIer-wIL Ius IeIL vou coId. WIuL Ius Iuppened Lo
vou voung Negroes? LIougIL vou Iud cuugIL on Lo Iow LIIngs ure
done down Iere. BuL vou don'L even know LIe dIIIerence beLween LIe
wuv LIIngs ure und LIe wuv LIev're supposed Lo be. Mv God," Ie
gusped, "wIuL Is LIe ruce comIng Lo? WIv, bov, vou cun LeII unvone vou
IIke-sIL down LIere . . . SIL down, sIr, suv!"
ReIucLunLIv suL, Lorn beLween unger und IuscInuLIon, IuLIng
mvseII Ior obevIng.
"TeII unvone vou IIke," Ie suId. " don'L cure. wouIdn'L ruIse mv
IILLIe IInger Lo sLop vou. Becuuse don'L owe unvone u LIIng, son. WIo,
Negroes? Negroes don'L conLroI LIIs scIooI or mucI oI unvLIIng eIse-
Iuven'L vou Ieurned even LIuL? No, sIr, LIev don'L conLroI LIIs scIooI,
nor wIILe IoIk eILIer. True LIev supporL IL, buL conLroI IL. 's bIg und
bIuck und suv 'Yes, suI' us IoudIv us unv burr-Ieud wIen IL's
convenIenL, buL 'm sLIII LIe kIng down Iere. don'L cure Iow mucI IL
uppeurs oLIerwIse. Power doesn'L Iuve Lo sIow oII. Power Is conIIdenL,
seII-ussurIng, seII-sLurLIng und seII-sLoppIng, seII-wurmIng und seII-
jusLIIvIng. WIen vou Iuve IL, vou know IL. eL LIe Negroes snIcker und
LIe cruckers IuugI! TIose ure LIe IucLs, son. TIe onIv ones even
preLend Lo pIeuse ure bIg wIILe IoIk, und even LIose conLroI more LIun
LIev conLroI me. TIIs Is u power seL-up, son, und 'm uL LIe conLroIs.
You LIInk ubouL LIuL. WIen vou buck uguInsL me, vou're buckIng
uguInsL power, rIcI wIILe IoIk's power, LIe nuLIon's power-wIIcI
meuns governmenL power!"
He puused Lo IeL IL sInk In und wuILed, IeeIIng u numb, vIoIenL
ouLruge.
"And 'II LeII vou someLIIng vour socIoIogv LeucIers ure uIruId Lo
LeII vou," Ie suId. "I LIere weren'L men IIke me runnIng scIooIs IIke
LIIs, LIere'd be no SouLI. Nor NorLI, eILIer. No, und LIere'd be no
counLrv-noL us IL Is Loduv. You LIInk ubouL LIuL, son." He IuugIed.
"WILI uII vour speecImukIng und sLudvIng LIougIL vou undersLood
someLIIng. BuL vou . . . AII rIgIL, go uIeud. See NorLon. You'II IInd LIuL
Ie wunLs vou dIscIpIIned; Ie mIgIL noL know IL, buL Ie does. Becuuse
Ie knows LIuL know wIuL Is besL Ior IIs InLeresLs. You're u bIuck
educuLed IooI, son. TIese wIILe IoIk Iuve newspupers, muguzInes,
rudIos, spokesmen Lo geL LIeIr Ideus ucross. I LIev wunL Lo LeII LIe
worId u IIe, LIev cun LeII IL so weII LIuL IL becomes LIe LruLI; und II LeII
LIem LIuL vou're IvIng, LIev'II LeII LIe worId even II vou prove vou're
LeIIIng LIe LruLI. Becuuse IL's LIe kInd oI IIe LIev wunL Lo Ieur . . ."
Ieurd LIe IIgI LIIn IuugI uguIn. "You're nobodv, son. You don'L
exIsL-cun'L vou see LIuL? TIe wIILe IoIk LeII evervbodv wIuL Lo LIInk-
excepL men IIke me. LeII LIem; LIuL's mv IIIe, LeIIIng wIILe IoIk Iow Lo
LIInk ubouL LIe LIIngs know ubouL. SIocks vou, doesn'L IL? WeII,
LIuL's LIe wuv IL Is. L's u nusLv deuI und don'L uIwuvs IIke IL mvseII. BuL
vou IIsLen Lo me: dIdn'L muke IL, und know LIuL cun'L cIunge IL. BuL
've mude mv pIuce In IL und 'II Iuve everv Negro In LIe counLrv
IungIng on Lree IImbs bv mornIng II IL meuns sLuvIng wIere um."
He wus IookIng me In LIe eve now, IIs voIce cIurged und sIncere,
us LIougI uLLerIng u conIessIon, u IunLusLIc reveIuLIon wIIcI couId
neILIer beIIeve nor denv. CoId drops oI sweuL moved uL u gIucIer's puce
down mv spIne . . .
" meun IL, son," Ie suId. " Iud Lo be sLrong und purposeIuI Lo geL
wIere um. Iud Lo wuIL und pIun und IIck uround . . . Yes, Iud Lo ucL
LIe nIgger!" Ie suId, uddIng unoLIer IIerv, "Yes!
" don'L even InsIsL LIuL IL wus worLI IL, buL now 'm Iere und
meun Lo sLuv-uILer vou wIn LIe gume, vou Luke LIe prIze und vou keep
IL, proLecL IL; LIere's noLIIng eIse Lo do." He sIrugged. "A mun geLs oId
wInnIng IIs pIuce, son. So vou go uIeud, go LeII vour sLorv; muLcI vour
LruLI uguInsL mv LruLI, becuuse wIuL 've suId Is LruLI, LIe brouder
LruLI. TesL IL, Lrv IL ouL . . . WIen sLurLed ouL wus u voung IeIIow . . ."
BuL no Ionger IIsLened, nor suw more LIun LIe pIuv oI IIgIL upon
LIe meLuIIIc dIsks oI IIs gIusses, wIIcI now seemed Lo IIouL wILIIn LIe
dIsgusLIng seu oI IIs words. TruLI, LruLI, wIuL wus LruLI? Nobodv
knew, noL even mv own moLIer, wouId beIIeve me II LrIed Lo LeII LIem.
Nor wouId Lomorrow, LIougIL, nor wouId . . . guzed IeIpIessIv uL
LIe gruIn oI LIe desk, LIen pusL IIs Ieud Lo LIe cuse oI IovIng cups
beIInd IIs cIuIr. Above LIe cuse u porLruIL oI LIe ounder Iooked
noncommILLuIIv down.
"Hee, Iee!" BIedsoe IuugIed. "Your urms ure Loo sIorL Lo box wILI
me, son. And Iuven'L Iud Lo reuIIv cIIp u voung Negro In veurs. No,"
Ie suId geLLIng up, "LIev Iuven'L been so cockv us LIev used Lo."
TIIs LIme couId bureIv move, mv sLomucI wus knoLLed und mv
kIdnevs ucIed. Mv Iegs were rubberv. or LIree veurs Iud LIougIL oI
mvseII us u mun und Iere wILI u Iew words Ie'd mude me us IeIpIess us
un InIunL. puIIed mvseII up . . .
"WuIL, IoId on u second," Ie suId, IookIng uL me IIke u mun ubouL
Lo IIIp u coIn. " IIke vour spIrIL, son. You're u IIgILer, und IIke LIuL;
vou jusL Iuck judgmenL, LIougI Iuck oI judgmenL cun ruIn vou. TIuL's
wIv Iuve Lo penuIIze vou, son. know Iow vou IeeI, Loo. You don'L
wunL Lo go Iome Lo be IumIIIuLed, undersLund LIuL, becuuse vou Iuve
some vugue noLIons ubouL dIgnILv. n spILe oI me, sucI noLIons seep In
uIong wILI LIe gImcruck LeucIers und norLIern-LruIned IdeuIIsLs. Yes,
und vou Iuve some wIILe IoIk buckIng vou und vou don'L wunL Lo Iuce
LIem becuuse noLIIng Is worse Ior u bIuck mun LIun Lo be IumIIIuLed
bv wIILe IoIk. know uII ubouL LIuL Loo; oIe doc's been 'buked und
scorned und uII oI LIuL. don'L jusL sIng ubouL IL In cIupeI, know ubouL
IL. BuL vou'II geL over IL; IL's IooIIsI und expensIve und u IoL oI deud
weIgIL. You IeL LIe wIILe IoIk worrv ubouL prIde und dIgnILv-vou Ieurn
wIere vou ure und geL vourseII power, InIIuence, conLucLs wILI
powerIuI und InIIuenLIuI peopIe-LIen sLuv In LIe durk und use IL!"
How Iong wIII sLund Iere und IeL IIm IuugI uL me, LIougIL,
IoIdIng on Lo LIe buck oI LIe cIuIr, Iow Iong?
"You're u nervv IILLIe IIgILer, son," Ie suId, "und LIe ruce needs
good, smurL, dIsIIIusIoned IIgILers. TIereIore 'm goIng Lo gIve vou u
Iund-muvbe vou'II IeeI LIuL 'm gIvIng vou mv IeIL Iund uILer 've
sLruck vou wILI mv rIgIL-II vou LIInk 'm LIe kInd oI mun wIo'd Ieud
wILI IIs rIgIL, wIIcI 'm mosL cerLuInIv noL. BuL LIuL's uII rIgIL Loo,
Luke IL or Ieuve IL. wunL vou Lo go Lo New York Ior LIe summer und
suve vour prIde-und vour monev. You go LIere und eurn vour nexL
veur's Iees, undersLund?"
nodded, unubIe Lo speuk, wIIrIIng ubouL IurIousIv wILIIn mvseII,
LrvIng Lo deuI wILI IIm, Lo IIL wIuL Ie wus suvIng Lo wIuL Ie Iud suId . .
.
"'II gIve vou IeLLers Lo some oI LIe scIooI's IrIends Lo see LIuL vou
geL work," Ie suId. "BuL LIIs LIme, use vour judgmenL, keep vour eves
open, geL In LIe swIng oI LIIngs! TIen, II vou muke good, perIups . . .
weII, perIups . . . L's up Lo vou."
HIs voIce sLopped us Ie sLood, LuII und bIuck und dIsk-eved, Iuge.
"TIuL's uII, voung mun," Ie suId, IIs Lone ubrupL, oIIIcIuI. "You
Iuve Lwo duvs In wIIcI Lo cIose vour uIIuIrs."
"Two duvs?"
"Two duvs!" Ie suId.
wenL down LIe sLeps und up LIe wuIk In LIe durk, mukIng IL ouL
oI LIe buIIdIng jusL beIore IL benL me doubIe beneuLI LIe wIsLerIu LIuL
Iung Irom LIe Lrees on rope-IIke vInes. AImosL u LoLuI dIsemboweImenL
und wIen IL puused Iooked up LIrougI LIe Lrees urcIed IIgI und cooI
ubove me Lo see u wIIrIIng, doubIe-Imuged moon. Mv eves were ouL oI
Iocus. sLurLed Lowurd mv room, coverIng one eve wILI mv Iund Lo
uvoId crusIIng InLo Lrees und IumpposLs projecLed InLo mv puLI. wenL
on, LusLIng bIIe und LIunkIuI LIuL IL wus nIgIL wILI no one Lo wILness
mv condILIon. Mv sLomucI IeIL ruw. rom somewIere ucross LIe quIeL
oI LIe cumpus LIe sound oI un oId guILur-bIues pIucked Irom un ouL-oI-
Lune pIuno drIILed Lowurd me IIke u Iuzv, sIImmerIng wuve, IIke LIe
ecIoed wIIsLIe oI u IoneIv LruIn, und mv Ieud wenL over uguIn, uguInsL u
Lree LIIs LIme, und couId Ieur IL spIuLLerIng LIe IIowerIng vInes.
WIen couId move, mv Ieud sLurLed Lo wIIrI In u cIrcIe. TIe duv's
evenLs IIowed pusL. TruebIood, Mr. NorLon, Dr. BIedsoe und LIe GoIden
Duv swepL uround mv mInd In u mud surreuI wIIrI. sLood In LIe puLI
IoIdIng mv eve und LrvIng Lo pusI buck LIe duv, buL eucI LIme
IIoundered upon Dr. BIedsoe's decIsIon. L sLIII ecIoed In mv mInd und
IL wus reuI und IL wus IInuI. WIuLever mv responsIbIIILv wus Ior wIuL
Iud occurred, knew LIuL wouId puv Ior IL, knew LIuL wouId be
expeIIed, und LIe verv Ideu sLubbed mv InsIdes uguIn. sLood LIere on
LIe moonIIL wuIk, LrvIng Lo LIInk uIeud Lo ILs eIIecLs, ImugInIng LIe
suLIsIucLIon oI LIose wIo envIed mv success, LIe sIume und
dIsuppoInLmenL oI mv purenLs. wouId never IIve down mv dIsgruce.
Mv wIILe IrIends wouId be dIsgusLed und recuIIed LIe Ieur LIuL Iung
over uII LIose wIo Iud no proLecLIon Irom powerIuI wIILes.
How Iud come Lo LIIs? Iud kepL unswervIngIv Lo LIe puLI
pIuced beIore me, Iud LrIed Lo be exucLIv wIuL wus expecLed Lo be, Iud
done exucLIv wIuL wus expecLed Lo do-veL, InsLeud oI wInnIng LIe
expecLed rewurd, Iere wus sLumbIIng uIong, IoIdIng on desperuLeIv Lo
one oI mv eves In order Lo keep Irom bursLIng ouL mv bruIn uguInsL
some IumIIIur objecL swerved InLo mv puLI bv mv dIsLorLed vIsIon. And
now Lo drIve me wIId IeIL suddenIv LIuL mv grundIuLIer wus IoverIng
over me, grInnIng LrIumpIunLIv ouL oI LIe durk. sImpIv couId noL
endure IL. or, despILe mv unguIsI und unger, knew oI no oLIer wuv oI
IIvIng, nor oLIer Iorms oI success uvuIIubIe Lo sucI us me. wus so
compIeLeIv u purL oI LIuL exIsLence LIuL In LIe end Iud Lo muke mv
peuce. L wus eILIer LIuL or udmIL LIuL mv grundIuLIer Iud mude sense.
WIIcI wus ImpossIbIe, Ior LIougI sLIII beIIeved mvseII InnocenL, suw
LIuL LIe onIv uILernuLIve Lo permunenLIv IucIng LIe worId oI TruebIood
und LIe GoIden Duv wus Lo uccepL LIe responsIbIIILv Ior wIuL Iud
Iuppened. SomeIow, convInced mvseII, Iud vIoIuLed LIe code und
LIus wouId Iuve Lo submIL Lo punIsImenL. Dr. BIedsoe Is rIgIL, LoId
mvseII, Ie's rIgIL; LIe scIooI und wIuL IL sLunds Ior Iuve Lo be
proLecLed. TIere wus no oLIer wuv, und no muLLer Iow mucI suIIered
wouId puv mv debL us quIckIv us possIbIe und reLurn Lo buIIdIng mv
cureer . . .
Buck In mv room counLed mv suvIngs, some IIILv doIIurs, und
decIded Lo geL Lo New York us quIckIv us possIbIe. I Dr. BIedsoe dIdn'L
cIunge IIs mInd ubouL IeIpIng me geL u job, IL wouId be enougI Lo puv
mv room und bourd uL Men's House, ubouL wIIcI Iud Ieurned Irom
IeIIows wIo IIved LIere durIng LIeIr summer vucuLIons. wouId Ieuve In
LIe mornIng.
So wIIIe mv roommuLe grInned und mumbIed unuwure In IIs
sIeep pucked mv bugs.
NEXT mornIng wus up beIore LIe bugIe sounded und uIreudv on
u bencI In Dr. BIedsoe's ouLer oIIIce wIen Ie uppeured. TIe juckeL oI
IIs bIue serge suIL wus open, reveuIIng u Ieuvv goId cIuIn IInked
beLween IIs vesL pockeLs us Ie moved Lowurd me wILI u noIseIess Lreud.
He pussed wILIouL seemIng Lo see me. TIen us Ie reucIed IIs oIIIce
door Ie suId, " Iuven'L cIunged mv mInd ubouL vou, bov. And don'L
InLend Lo!"
"OI, dIdn'L come Ior LIuL, sIr," suId, seeIng IIm Lurn quIckIv,
IookIng down upon me, IIs eves quIzzIcuI.
"Verv weII, us Iong us vou undersLund LIuL. Come In und sLuLe vour
busIness. Iuve work Lo do."
wuILed beIore LIe desk, wuLcIIng IIm pIuce IIs Iomburg on un
oId bruss IuII-Lree. TIen Ie suL beIore me, mukIng u cuge oI IIs IIngers
und noddIng Ior me Lo begIn.
Mv eves burned und mv voIce sounded unreuI. "'d IIke Lo Ieuve
LIIs mornIng, sIr," suId.
HIs eves reLreuLed. "WIv LIIs mornIng?" Ie suId. " guve vou unLII
Lomorrow. WIv LIe Iurrv?"
"L Isn'L Iurrv, sIr. BuL sInce Iuve Lo Ieuve 'd IIke Lo geL goIng.
SLuvIng unLII Lomorrow won'L cIunge muLLers . . ."
"No, IL won'L," Ie suId. "TIuL's good sense und vou Iuve mv
permIssIon. And wIuL eIse?"
"TIuL's uII, sIr, excepL LIuL wunL Lo suv LIuL 'm sorrv Ior wIuL
dId und LIuL IoId no Iurd IeeIIngs. WIuL dId wus unInLenLIonuI, buL
'm In ugreemenL wILI mv punIsImenL."
He LoucIed IIs IIngerLIps LogeLIer, LIe LIIck IIngers meeLIng
deIIcuLeIv, IIs Iuce wILIouL expressIon. "TIuL's LIe proper uLLILude," Ie
suId. "n oLIer words, vou don'L InLend Lo become bILLer, Is LIuL IL?"
"Yes, sIr."
"Yes, cun see LIuL vou're begInnIng Lo Ieurn. TIuL's good. Two
LIIngs our peopIe musL do Is uccepL responsIbIIILv Ior LIeIr ucLs und
uvoId becomIng bILLer." HIs voIce rose wILI LIe convIcLIon oI IIs cIupeI
speecIes. "Son, II vou don'L become bILLer, noLIIng cun sLop vou Irom
success. Remember LIuL."
" sIuII, sIr," suId. TIen mv LIrouL LIIckened und Ioped Ie
wouId brIng up LIe muLLer oI u job IImseII.
nsLeud, Ie Iooked uL me ImpuLIenLIv und suId, "WeII? Iuve work
Lo do. Mv permIssIon Is grunLed."
"WeII, sIr, 'd IIke Lo usk u Iuvor oI vou . . ."
"uvor," Ie suId sIrewdIv. "Now LIuL's unoLIer muLLer. WIuL kInd
oI Iuvor?"
"L Isn'L mucI, sIr. You suggesLed LIuL vou wouId puL me In LoucI
wILI some oI LIe LrusLees wIo wouId gIve me u job. 'm wIIIIng Lo do
unvLIIng."
"OI, ves," Ie suId, "ves, oI course." .
He seemed Lo LIInk Ior u momenL, IIs eves sLudvIng LIe objecLs on
IIs desk. TIen LoucIIng LIe sIuckIe genLIv wILI IIs Index IInger, Ie
suId, "Verv weII. WIen do vou InLend Lo Ieuve?"
"Bv LIe IIrsL bus, II possIbIe, sIr."
"Are vou pucked?"
"Yes, sIr."
"Verv weII. Go geL vour bugs und reLurn Iere In LIIrLv mInuLes. Mv
secreLurv wIII gIve vou some IeLLers uddressed Lo severuI IrIends oI LIe
scIooI. One oI LIem wIII do someLIIng Ior vou."
"TIunks, sIr. TIunk vou verv mucI," suId us Ie sLood.
"TIuL's uII rIgIL," Ie suId. "TIe scIooI LrIes Lo Iook ouL Ior ILs own.
OnIv one LIIng more. TIese IeLLers wIII be seuIed; don'L open LIem II
vou wunL IeIp. WIILe IoIk ure sLrIcL ubouL sucI LIIngs. TIe IeLLers wIII
InLroduce vou und requesL LIem Lo IeIp vou wILI u job. 'II do mv besL
Ior vou und IL Isn'L necessurv Ior vou Lo open LIem, undersLund?"
"OI, wouIdn'L LIInk oI openIng LIem, sIr," suId.
"Verv weII, LIe voung Iudv wIII Iuve LIem Ior vou wIen vou
reLurn. WIuL ubouL vour purenLs, Iuve vou InIormed LIem?"
"No, sIr, IL mIgIL muke LIem IeeI Loo bud II LoId LIem wus
expeIIed, so pIun Lo wrILe LIem uILer geL LIere und geL u job . . ."
" see. PerIups LIuL Is besL."
"WeII, good-bve, sIr," suId, exLendIng mv Iund.
"Good-bve," Ie suId. HIs Iund wus Iurge und sLrungeIv IImp.
He pressed u buzzer us Lurned Lo Ieuve. HIs secreLurv brusIed
pusL me us wenL LIrougI LIe door.
TIe IeLLers were wuILIng wIen reLurned, seven oI LIem,
uddressed Lo men wILI ImpressIve numes. Iooked Ior Mr. NorLon's buL
IIs wus noL umong LIem. PIucIng LIem cureIuIIv In mv InsIde pockeL,
grubbed mv bugs und IurrIed Ior LIe bus.
CIupLer ;
TIe sLuLIon wus empLv, buL LIe LIckeL wIndow wus open und u
porLer In u gruv unIIorm wus pusIIng u broom. bougIL mv LIckeL und
cIImbed InLo LIe bus. TIere were onIv Lwo pussengers seuLed uL LIe reur
oI LIe red und nIckeI InLerIor, und suddenIv IeIL LIuL wus dreumIng.
L wus LIe veL, wIo guve me u smIIe oI recognILIon; un uLLendunL suL
besIde IIm.
"WeIcome, voung mun," Ie cuIIed. "mugIne, Mr. CrensIuw," Ie
suId Lo LIe uLLendunL, "we Iuve u LruveIIng compunIon!"
"MornIng," suId reIucLunLIv. Iooked uround Ior u seuL uwuv
Irom LIem, buL uILIougI LIe bus wus uImosL empLv, onIv LIe reur wus
reserved Ior us und LIere wus noLIIng Lo do buL move buck wILI LIem.
dIdn'L IIke IL; LIe veL wus Loo mucI u purL oI un experIence wIIcI wus
uIreudv LrvIng Lo bIoL ouL oI mv conscIousness. HIs wuv oI LuIkIng Lo
Mr. NorLon Iud been u IoresIudowIng oI mv mIsIorLune-jusL us Iud
sensed LIuL IL wouId be. Now IuvIng uccepLed mv punIsImenL,
wunLed Lo remember noLIIng connecLed wILI TruebIood or LIe GoIden
Duv.
CrensIuw, u mucI smuIIer mun LIun Supercurgo, suId noLIIng. He
wus noL LIe Lvpe usuuIIv senL ouL Lo uccompunv vIoIenL cuses und wus
gIud unLII remembered LIuL LIe onIv vIoIenL LIIng ubouL LIe veL wus
IIs Longue. HIs mouLI Iud uIreudv goLLen me InLo LroubIe und now
Ioped Ie wouIdn'L Lurn IL upon LIe wIILe drIver-LIuL wus upL Lo geL us
kIIIed. WIuL wus Ie doIng on LIe bus unvwuv? God, Iow Iud Dr.
BIedsoe worked LIuL IusL? sLured uL LIe IuL mun.
"How dId vour IrIend Mr. NorLon muke ouL?" Ie usked.
"He's okuv," suId.
"No more IuInLIng speIIs?"
"No."
"DId Ie buwI vou ouL Ior wIuL Iuppened?"
"He dIdn'L bIume me," suId.
"Good. LIInk sIocked IIm more LIun unvLIIng eIse Ie suw uL
LIe GoIden Duv. Ioped Iudn'L cuused vou LroubIe. ScIooI Isn'L ouL so
soon, Is IL?"
"NoL quILe," suId IIgILIv. "'m IeuvIng eurIv In order Lo Luke u job."
"WonderIuI! AL Iome?"
"No, LIougIL mIgIL muke more monev In New York."
"New York!" Ie suId. "TIuL's noL u pIuce, IL's u dreum. WIen wus
vour uge IL wus CIIcugo. Now uII LIe IILLIe bIuck bovs run uwuv Lo New
York. OuL oI LIe IIre InLo LIe meILIng poL. cun see vou uILer vou've
IIved In HurIem Ior LIree monLIs. Your speecI wIII cIunge, vou'II LuIk u
IoL ubouL 'coIIege,' vou'II uLLend IecLures uL LIe Men's House . . . vou
mIgIL even meeL u Iew wIILe IoIks. And IIsLen," Ie suId, IeunIng cIose Lo
wIIsper, "vou mIgIL even dunce wILI u wIILe gIrI!"
"'m goIng Lo New York Lo work," suId, IookIng uround me. "
won'L Iuve LIme Ior LIuL."
"You wIII LIougI," Ie Leused. "Deep down vou're LIInkIng ubouL
LIe Ireedom vou've Ieurd ubouL up NorLI, und vou'II Lrv IL once, jusL Lo
see II wIuL vou've Ieurd Is Lrue."
"TIere's oLIer kInds oI Ireedom besIde some oIe wIILe LrusI
women," CrensIuw suId. "He mIgIL wunL Lo see IIm some sIows und
euL In some oI LIem bIg resLuurunLs."
TIe veL grInned. "WIv, oI course, buL remember, CrensIuw, Ie's
onIv goIng Lo be LIere u Iew monLIs. MosL oI LIe LIme Ie'II be workIng,
und so mucI oI IIs Ireedom wIII Iuve Lo be svmboIIc. And wIuL wIII be
IIs or unv mun's mosL eusIIv uccessIbIe svmboI oI Ireedom? WIv, u
womun, oI course. n LwenLv mInuLes Ie cun InIIuLe LIuL svmboI wILI uII
LIe Ireedom wIIcI Ie'II be Loo busv workIng Lo enjov LIe resL oI LIe
LIme. He'II see."
LrIed Lo cIunge LIe subjecL. "WIere ure vou goIng?" usked.
"To WusIIngLon, D. C.," Ie suId.
"TIen vou're cured?"
"Cured? TIere Is no cure -"
"He's beIng LrunsIerred," suId CrensIuw.
"Yes, 'm Ieuded Ior SL. EIIzubeLI's," LIe veL suId. "TIe wuvs oI
uuLIorILv ure Indeed mvsLerIous. or u veur 've LrIed Lo geL LrunsIerred,
LIen LIIs mornIng 'm suddenIv LoId Lo puck. cun'L buL wonder II our
IILLIe conversuLIon wILI vour IrIend Mr. NorLon Iud someLIIng Lo do
wILI IL."
"How couId Ie Iuve unvLIIng Lo do wILI IL?" suId, rememberIng
Dr. BIedsoe's LIreuL.
"How couId Ie Iuve unvLIIng Lo do wILI vour beIng on LIIs bus?"
Ie suId.
He wInked. HIs eves LwInkIed. "AII rIgIL, IorgeL wIuL 've suId. BuL
Ior God's suke, Ieurn Lo Iook beneuLI LIe surIuce," Ie suId. "Come ouL oI
LIe Iog, voung mun. And remember vou don'L Iuve Lo be u compIeLe
IooI In order Lo succeed. PIuv LIe gume, buL don'L beIIeve In IL-LIuL
mucI vou owe vourseII. Even II IL Iunds vou In u sLruIL juckeL or u
pudded ceII. PIuv LIe gume, buL pIuv IL vour own wuv-purL oI LIe LIme
uL IeusL. PIuv LIe gume, buL ruIse LIe unLe, mv bov. eurn Iow IL
operuLes, Ieurn Iow vou operuLe- wIsI Iud LIme Lo LeII vou onIv u
IrugmenL. We're un uss-buckwurd peopIe, LIougI. You mIgIL even beuL
LIe gume. L's reuIIv u verv crude uIIuIr. ReuIIv Pre-RenuIssunce-und
LIuL gume Ius been unuIvzed, puL down In books. BuL down Iere
LIev've IorgoLLen Lo Luke cure oI LIe books und LIuL's vour opporLunILv.
You're IIdden rIgIL ouL In LIe open-LIuL Is, vou wouId be II vou onIv
reuIIzed IL. TIev wouIdn'L see vou becuuse LIev don'L expecL vou Lo
know unvLIIng, sInce LIev beIIeve LIev've Luken cure oI LIuL . . ."
"Mun, wIo's LIIs LIev vou LuIkIng so mucI ubouL?" suId CrensIuw.
TIe veL Iooked unnoved. "TIev?" Ie suId. "TIev? WIv, LIe sume
LIev we uIwuvs meun, LIe wIILe IoIks, uuLIorILv, LIe gods, IuLe,
cIrcumsLunces-LIe Iorce LIuL puIIs vour sLrIngs unLII vou reIuse Lo be
puIIed unv more. TIe bIg mun wIo's never LIere, wIere vou LIInk Ie
Is."
CrensIuw grImuced. "You LuIk Loo dumn mucI, mun," Ie suId.
"You LuIk und vou don'L suv noLIIng."
"OI, Iuve u IoL Lo suv, CrensIuw. puL InLo words LIIngs wIIcI
mosL men IeeI, II onIv sIIgILIv. Sure, 'm u compuIsIve LuIker oI u kInd,
buL 'm reuIIv more cIown LIun IooI. BuL, CrensIuw," Ie suId, roIIIng u
wund oI LIe newspuper wIIcI Iuv ucross IIs knees, "vou don'L reuIIze
wIuL's IuppenIng. Our voung IrIend Is goIng NorLI Ior LIe IIrsL LIme! L
Is Ior LIe IIrsL LIme, Isn'L IL?"
"You're rIgIL," suId.
"OI course. Were vou ever NorLI beIore, CrensIuw?"
" been uII over LIe counLrv," CrensIuw suId. " know Iow LIev do
IL, wIerever LIev do IL. And know Iow Lo ucL Loo. BesIdes, vou uIn'L
goIng NorLI, noL LIe reuI NorLI. You goIng Lo WusIIngLon. L's jusL
unoLIer souLIern Lown."
"Yes, know," LIe veL suId, "buL LIInk oI wIuL LIIs meuns Ior LIe
voung IeIIow. He's goIng Iree, In LIe broud duvIIgIL und uIone. cun
remember wIen voung IeIIows IIke IIm Iud IIrsL Lo commIL u crIme, or
be uccused oI one, beIore LIev LrIed sucI u LIIng. nsLeud oI IeuvIng In
LIe IIgIL oI mornIng, LIev wenL In LIe durk oI nIgIL. And no bus wus
IusL enougI-Isn'L LIuL so, CrensIuw?"
CrensIuw sLopped unwruppIng u cundv bur und Iooked uL IIm
sIurpIv, IIs eves nurrowed. "How LIe IeII know?" Ie suId.
"'m sorrv, CrensIuw," LIe veL suId. " LIougIL LIuL us u mun oI
experIence . . ."
"WeII, uIn'L Iud LIuL experIence. wenL NorLI oI mv own Iree
wIII."
"BuL Iuven'L vou Ieurd oI sucI cuses?"
"HeurIng uIn'L 'sperIencIng," CrensIuw suId.
"No, IL Isn'L. BuL sInce LIere's uIwuvs un eIemenL oI crIme In
Ireedom -"
" uIn'L commILLed no crIme!"
" dIdn'L meun LIuL vou Iud," LIe veL suId. " upoIogIze. orgeL IL."
CrensIuw Look un ungrv bILe Irom IIs cundv bur, mumbIIng, "
wIsI vou'd Iurrv up und gIL depressIve, muvbe LIen vou won'L LuIk so
dumn mucI."
"Yes, docLor," LIe veL suId mockIngIv. "'II be depressIve soon
enougI, buL wIIIe vou euL vour cundv jusL uIIow me Lo cIew LIe rug;
LIere's u kInd oI subsLunce In IL."
"Aw, quIL LrvIng Lo sIow oII vour educuLIon," CrensIuw suId. "You
rIdIng buck Iere In LIe JIm Crow jusL IIke me. BesIdes, vou're u nuL."
TIe veL wInked uL me, conLInuIng IIs IIow oI words us LIe bus goL
under wuv. We were goIng uL IusL und Look u IusL IongIng Iook us LIe
bus sIoL uround LIe IIgIwuv wIIcI cIrcIed LIe scIooI. Lurned und
wuLcIed IL recede Irom LIe reur wIndow; LIe sun cuugIL ILs LreeLops,
buLIed ILs Iow-seL buIIdIngs und ordered grounds. TIen IL wus gone. n
Iess LIun IIve mInuLes LIe spoL oI eurLI wIIcI IdenLIIIed wILI LIe besL
oI uII possIbIe worIds wus gone, IosL wILIIn LIe wIId uncuILIvuLed
counLrvsIde. A IIusI oI movemenL drew mv eve Lo LIe sIde oI LIe
IIgIwuv now, und suw u moccusIn wIggIe swIILIv uIong LIe gruv
concreLe, vunIsIIng InLo u IengLI oI Iron pIpe LIuL Iuv besIde LIe roud.
wuLcIed LIe IIusIIng pusL oI coLLon IIeIds und cubIns, IeeIIng LIuL wus
movIng InLo LIe unknown.
TIe veL und CrensIuw prepured Lo cIunge busses uL LIe nexL sLop,
und upon IeuvIng, LIe veL pIuced IIs Iund upon mv sIouIder und
Iooked uL me wILI kIndness, und, us uIwuvs, Ie smIIed.
"Now Is LIe LIme Ior oIIerIng IuLIerIv udvIce," Ie suId, "buL 'II
Iuve Lo spure vou LIuL-sInce guess 'm nobodv's IuLIer excepL mv
own. PerIups LIuL's LIe udvIce Lo gIve vou: Be vour own IuLIer, voung
mun. And remember, LIe worId Is possIbIIILv II onIv vou'II dIscover IL.
usL oI uII, Ieuve LIe Mr. NorLons uIone, und II vou don'L know wIuL
meun, LIInk ubouL IL. ureweII."
wuLcIed IIm IoIIowIng CrensIuw LIrougI LIe group oI
pussengers wuILIng Lo geL on, u sIorL, comIcuI IIgure LurnIng Lo wuve,
LIen dIsuppeurIng LIrougI LIe door oI LIe red brIck LermInuI. suL buck
wILI u sIgI oI reIIeI, veL once LIe pussengers were ubourd und LIe bus
under wuv uguIn, IeIL sud und uLLerIv uIone.
NOT unLII we were suIIIng LIrougI LIe Jersev counLrvsIde dId mv
spIrILs begIn Lo rIse. TIen mv oId conIIdence und opLImIsm revIved,
und LrIed Lo pIun mv LIme In LIe NorLI. wouId work Iurd und serve
mv empIover so weII LIuL Ie wouId sIower Dr. BIedsoe wILI IuvorubIe
reporLs. And wouId suve mv monev und reLurn In LIe IuII IuII oI New
York cuILure. 'd be IndIspuLubIv LIe IeudIng cumpus IIgure. PerIups
wouId uLLend Town MeeLIng, wIIcI Iud Ieurd over LIe rudIo. 'd Ieurn
LIe pIuLIorm LrIcks oI LIe IeudIng speukers. And wouId muke LIe besL
oI mv conLucLs. WIen meL LIe bIg men Lo wIom mv IeLLers were
uddressed wouId puL on mv besL munner. wouId speuk soILIv, In mv
mosL poIIsIed Lones, smIIe ugreeubIv und be mosL poIILe; und wouId
remember LIuL II Ie ("Ie" meunL unv oI LIe ImporLunL genLIemen)
sIouId begIn u LopIc oI conversuLIon ( wouId never begIn u subjecL oI
mv own) wIIcI Iound unIumIIIur, wouId smIIe und ugree. Mv sIoes
wouId be poIIsIed, mv suIL pressed, mv IuIr dressed (noL Loo mucI
greuse) und purLed on LIe rIgIL sIde; mv nuIIs wouId be cIeun und mv
urmpILs weII deodorIzed-vou Iud Lo wuLcI LIe IusL ILem. You couIdn'L
uIIow LIem Lo LIInk uII oI us smeIIed bud. TIe verv LIougIL oI mv
conLucLs guve me u IeeIIng oI sopIIsLIcuLIon, oI worIdIIness, wIIcI, us
IIngered LIe seven ImporLunL IeLLers In mv pockeL, mude me IeeI IIgIL
und expunsIve.
dreumed wILI mv eves guzIng bIunkIv upon LIe Iundscupe unLII
Iooked up Lo see u Red Cup IrownIng down. "Buddv, ure vou geLLIng oII
Iere?" Ie suId. "I so, vou beLLer geL sLurLed."
"OI, sure," suId, begInnIng Lo move. "Sure, buL Iow do vou geL Lo
HurIem?"
"TIuL's eusv," Ie suId. "You jusL keep IeudIng norLI."
And wIIIe goL down mv bugs und mv prIze brIeI cuse, sLIII us
sIInv us LIe nIgIL oI LIe buLLIe rovuI, Ie InsLrucLed me Iow Lo Luke LIe
subwuv, LIen sLruggIed LIrougI LIe crowd.
MovIng InLo LIe subwuv wus pusIed uIong bv LIe mIIIIng suIL-
und-pepper mob, seIzed In LIe buck bv u burIv, bIue-unIIormed
uLLendunL ubouL LIe sIze oI Supercurgo, und crummed, bugs und uII,
InLo u LruIn LIuL wus so crowded LIuL evervone seemed Lo sLund wILI IIs
Ieud buck und IIs eves buIgIng, IIke cIIckens Irozen uL LIe sound oI
dunger. TIen LIe door bunged beIInd me und wus crusIed uguInsL u
Iuge womun In bIuck wIo sIook Ier Ieud und smIIed wIIIe sLured
wILI Iorror uL u Iurge moIe LIuL urose ouL oI LIe oIIv wIILeness oI Ier
skIn IIke u bIuck mounLuIn sweepIng ouL oI u ruInweL pIuIn. And uII LIe
wIIIe couId IeeI LIe rubberv soILness oI Ier IIesI uguInsL LIe IengLI oI
mv bodv. couId neILIer Lurn sIdewuvs nor buck uwuv, nor seL down
mv bugs. wus Lrupped, so cIose LIuL sImpIv bv noddIng mv Ieud,
mIgIL Iuve brusIed Ier IIps wILI mIne. wunLed desperuLeIv Lo ruIse
mv Iunds Lo sIow Ier LIuL IL wus uguInsL mv wIII. kepL expecLIng Ier
Lo screum, unLII IInuIIv LIe cur IurcIed und wus ubIe Lo Iree mv IeIL
urm. cIosed mv eves, IoIdIng desperuLeIv Lo mv IupeI. TIe cur roured
und swuved, pressIng me Iurd uguInsL Ier, buL wIen Look u IurLIve
gIunce uround no one wus puvIng me LIe sIIgILesL uLLenLIon. And even
sIe seemed IosL In Ier own LIougILs. TIe LruIn seemed Lo pIunge
downIIII now, onIv Lo Iunge Lo u sLop LIuL sIoL me ouL upon u pIuLIorm
IeeIIng IIke someLIIng regurgILuLed Irom LIe beIIv oI u IrunLIc wIuIe.
WresLIIng wILI mv bugs, swepL uIong wILI LIe crowd, up LIe sLuIrs
InLo LIe IoL sLreeL. dIdn'L cure wIere wus, wouId wuIk LIe resL oI
LIe wuv.
or u momenL sLood beIore u sIop wIndow sLurIng uL mv own
reIIecLIon In LIe gIuss, LrvIng Lo recover Irom LIe rIde uguInsL LIe
womun. wus IImp, mv cIoLIIng weL. "BuL vou're up NorLI now," LoId
mvseII, "up NorLI." Yes, buL suppose sIe Iud screumed . . . TIe nexL
LIme used LIe subwuv 'd uIwuvs be sure Lo enLer wILI mv Iunds
gruspIng mv IupeIs und 'd keep LIem LIere unLII IeIL LIe LruIn. WIv,
mv God, LIev musL Iuve rIoLs on LIose LIIngs uII LIe LIme. WIv Iudn'L
reud ubouL LIem?
Iud never seen so munv bIuck peopIe uguInsL u buckground oI
brIck buIIdIngs, neon sIgns, pIuLe gIuss und rourIng LruIIIc-noL even on
LrIps Iud mude wILI LIe debuLIng Leum Lo New OrIeuns, DuIIus or
BIrmIngIum. TIev were evervwIere. So munv, und movIng uIong wILI
so mucI LensIon und noIse LIuL wusn'L sure wIeLIer LIev were ubouL
Lo ceIebruLe u IoIIduv or joIn In u sLreeL IIgIL. TIere were even bIuck
gIrIs beIInd LIe counLers oI LIe Ive und Ten us pussed. TIen uL LIe
sLreeL InLersecLIon Iud LIe sIock oI seeIng u bIuck poIIcemun dIrecLIng
LruIIIc-und LIere were wIILe drIvers In LIe LruIIIc wIo obeved IIs
sIgnuIs us LIougI IL wus LIe mosL nuLuruI LIIng In LIe worId. Sure Iud
Ieurd oI IL, buL LIIs wus reuI. Mv couruge reLurned. TIIs reuIIv wus
HurIem, und now uII LIe sLorIes wIIcI Iud Ieurd oI LIe cILv-wILIIn-u-
cILv Ieuped uIIve In mv mInd. TIe veL Iud been rIgIL: or me LIIs wus
noL u cILv oI reuIILIes, buL oI dreums; perIups becuuse Iud uIwuvs
LIougIL oI mv IIIe us beIng conIIned Lo LIe SouLI. And now us
sLruggIed LIrougI LIe IInes oI peopIe u new worId oI possIbIIILv
suggesLed ILseII Lo me IuInLIv, IIke u smuII voIce LIuL wus bureIv uudIbIe
In LIe rour oI cILv sounds. moved wIde-eved, LrvIng Lo Luke LIe
bomburdmenL oI ImpressIons. TIen sLopped sLIII.
L wus uIeud oI me, ungrv und sIrIII, und upon IeurIng IL Iud u
sensuLIon oI sIock und Ieur sucI us Iud IeIL us u cIIId wIen surprIsed
bv mv IuLIer's voIce. An empLIness wIdened In mv sLomucI. BeIore me
u guLIerIng oI peopIe were uImosL bIockIng LIe wuIk, wIIIe ubove LIem
u sIorL squuL mun sIouLed ungrIIv Irom u Iudder Lo wIIcI were
uLLucIed u coIIecLIon oI smuII AmerIcun IIugs.
"We gIne cIuse 'em ouL," LIe mun crIed. "OuL!"
"TeII 'em ubouL IL, Rus, muIn," u voIce cuIIed.
And suw LIe squuL mun sIuke IIs IIsL ungrIIv over LIe upIIILed
Iuces, veIIIng someLIIng In u sLuccuLo WesL ndIun uccenL, uL wIIcI LIe
crowd veIIed LIreuLenIngIv. L wus us LIougI u rIoL wouId breuk unv
mInuLe, uguInsL wIom dIdn'L know. wus puzzIed, boLI bv LIe eIIecL
oI IIs voIce upon me und bv LIe obvIous unger oI LIe crowd. Iud
never seen so munv bIuck men ungrv In pubIIc beIore, und veL oLIers
pussed LIe guLIerIng bv wILIouL even u gIunce. And us cume
uIongsIde, suw Lwo wIILe poIIcemen LuIkIng quIeLIv wILI one unoLIer,
LIeIr bucks Lurned us LIev IuugIed uL some joke. Even wIen LIe sIIrL-
sIeeved crowd crIed ouL In ungrv uIIIrmuLIon oI some remurk oI LIe
speuker, LIev puId no uLLenLIon. wus sLunned. sLood gupIng uL LIe
poIIcemen, mv bugs seLLIIng upon LIe mIddIe oI LIe wuIk, unLII one oI
LIem Iuppened Lo see me und nudged LIe oLIer, wIo cIewed IuzIIv
upon u wud oI gum.
"WIuL cun we do Ior vou, bud?" Ie suId.
" wus jusL wonderIng . . ." suId, beIore cuugIL mvseII.
"YeuI?"
" wus jusL wonderIng Iow Lo geL Lo Men's House, sIr," suId.
"s LIuL uII?"
"Yes, sIr," sLummered.
"You sure?"
"Yes, sIr."
"He's u sLrunger," LIe oLIer suId. "JusL comIng Lo Lown, bud?"
"Yes, sIr," suId, " jusL goL oII LIe subwuv."
"You dId, IuI? WeII, vou wunL Lo be cureIuI."
"OI, wIII, sIr."
"TIuL's LIe Ideu. Keep IL cIeun," Ie suId, und dIrecLed me Lo Men's
House.
LIunked LIem und IurrIed on. TIe speuker Iud become more
vIoIenL LIun beIore und IIs remurks were ubouL LIe governmenL. TIe
cIusI beLween LIe cuIm oI LIe resL oI LIe sLreeL und LIe pussIon oI LIe
voIce guve LIe scene u sLrunge ouL-oI-joInL quuIILv, und wus cureIuI noL
Lo Iook buck IesL see u rIoL IIure.
reucIed Men's House In u sweuL, regIsLered, und wenL
ImmedIuLeIv Lo mv room. wouId Iuve Lo Luke HurIem u IILLIe uL u LIme.
CIupLer 8
L wus u cIeun IILLIe room wILI u durk orunge bedspreud. TIe cIuIr
und dresser were mupIe und LIere wus u GIdeon BIbIe IvIng upon u
smuII LubIe. dropped mv bugs und suL on LIe bed. rom LIe sLreeL
beIow cume LIe sound oI LruIIIc, LIe Iurger sound oI LIe subwuv, LIe
smuIIer, more vurIed sounds oI voIces. AIone In LIe room, couId
IurdIv beIIeve LIuL wus so Iur uwuv Irom Iome, veL LIere wus noLIIng
IumIIIur In mv surroundIngs. ExcepL LIe BIbIe; pIcked IL up und suL
buck on LIe bed, uIIowIng ILs bIood-red-edged puges Lo rIppIe beneuLI
mv LIumb. remembered Iow Dr. BIedsoe couId quoLe Irom LIe Book
durIng IIs speecIes Lo LIe sLudenL bodv on Sunduv nIgILs. Lurned Lo
LIe book oI GenesIs, buL couId noL reud. LIougIL oI Iome und LIe
uLLempLs mv IuLIer Iud mude Lo InsLILuLe IumIIv pruver, LIe guLIerIng
uround LIe sLove uL meuILIme und kneeIIng wILI Ieuds bowed over LIe
seuLs oI our cIuIrs, IIs voIce quuverIng und IuII oI cIurcI-Iouse
rIeLorIc und verbuI IumIIILv. BuL LIIs mude me IomesIck und puL LIe
BIbIe usIde. TIIs wus New York. Iud Lo geL u job und eurn monev.
Look oII mv couL und IuL und Look mv puckeL oI IeLLers und Iuv
buck upon LIe bed, druwIng u IeeIIng oI ImporLunce Irom reudIng LIe
ImporLunL numes. WIuL wus InsIde, und Iow couId open LIem
undeLecLed? TIev were LIgILIv seuIed. Iud reud LIuL IeLLers were
someLImes sLeumed open, buL Iud no sLeum. guve IL up, reuIIv
dIdn'L need Lo know LIeIr conLenLs und IL wouId noL be IonorubIe or
suIe Lo Lumper wILI Dr. BIedsoe. knew uIreudv LIuL LIev concerned me
und were uddressed Lo some oI LIe mosL ImporLunL men In LIe wIoIe
counLrv. TIuL wus enougI. cuugIL mvseII wIsIIng Ior someone Lo
sIow LIe IeLLers Lo, someone wIo couId gIve me u proper reIIecLIon oI
mv ImporLunce. InuIIv, wenL Lo LIe mIrror und guve mvseII un
udmIrIng smIIe us spreud LIe IeLLers upon LIe dresser IIke u Iund oI
IIgI Lrump curds.
TIen begun Lo mup mv cumpuIgn Ior LIe nexL duv. IrsL, wouId
Iuve u sIower, LIen geL breukIusL. AII LIIs verv eurIv. 'd Iuve Lo move
IusL. WILI ImporLunL men IIke LIuL vou Iud Lo be on LIme. I vou mude
un uppoInLmenL wILI one oI LIem, vou couIdn'L brIng LIem unv sIow
c.p. (coIored peopIe's) LIme. Yes, und wouId Iuve Lo geL u wuLcI.
wouId do evervLIIng Lo scIeduIe. recuIIed LIe Ieuvv goId cIuIn LIuL
Iung beLween Dr. BIedsoe's vesL pockeLs und LIe uIr wILI wIIcI Ie
snupped IIs wuLcI open Lo consuIL LIe LIme, IIs IIps pursed, cIIn puIIed
In so LIuL IL muILIpIIed, IIs IoreIeud wrInkIed. TIen Ie'd cIeur IIs
LIrouL und gIve u deepIv InLoned order, us LIougI eucI svIIubIe were
pregnunL wILI nuunces oI proIoundIv ImporLunL meunIng. recuIIed mv
expuIsIon, IeeIIng quIck unger und uLLempLIng Lo suppress IL
ImmedIuLeIv; buL now wus noL quILe successIuI, mv resenLmenL sLuck
ouL uL LIe edges, mukIng me uncomIorLubIe. Muvbe IL wus besL,
LIougIL IusLIIv. Muvbe II IL Iudn'L Iuppened wouId never Iuve
receIved un opporLunILv Lo meeL sucI ImporLunL men Iuce Lo Iuce. n
mv mInd's eve conLInued Lo see IIm guzIng InLo IIs wuLcI, buL now Ie
wus joIned bv unoLIer IIgure; u vounger IIgure, mvseII; become sIrewd,
suuve und dressed noL In somber gurmenLs (IIke IIs oId-IusIIoned
ones) buL In u dupper suIL oI rIcI muLerIuI, cuL IusIIonubIv, IIke LIose oI
LIe men vou suw In muguzIne uds, LIe junIor execuLIve Lvpes In
EsquIre. ImugIned mvseII mukIng u speecI und cuugIL In sLrIkIng
poses bv IIusIIng cumerus, snupped uL LIe end oI some perIod oI
duzzIIng eIoquence. A vounger versIon oI LIe docLor, Iess crude, Indeed
poIIsIed. wouId IurdIv ever speuk ubove u wIIsper und wouId
uIwuvs be-ves, LIere wus no oLIer word, wouId be cIurmIng. Ike
RonuId CoImun. WIuL u voIce! OI course vou couIdn'L speuk LIuL wuv In
LIe SouLI, LIe wIILe IoIks wouIdn'L IIke IL, und LIe Negroes wouId suv
LIuL vou were "puLLIng on." BuL Iere In LIe NorLI wouId sIougI oII mv
souLIern wuvs oI speecI. ndeed, wouId Iuve one wuv oI speukIng In
LIe NorLI und unoLIer In LIe SouLI. GIve LIem wIuL LIev wunLed down
SouLI, LIuL wus LIe wuv. I Dr. BIedsoe couId do IL, so couId . BeIore
goIng Lo bed LIuL nIgIL wIped oII mv brIeI cuse wILI u cIeun LoweI und
pIuced LIe IeLLers cureIuIIv InsIde.
TIe nexL mornIng Look un eurIv subwuv InLo LIe WuII SLreeL
dIsLrIcL, seIecLIng un uddress LIuL currIed me uImosL Lo LIe end oI LIe
IsIund. L wus durk wILI LIe LuIIness oI LIe buIIdIngs und LIe nurrow
sLreeLs. Armored curs wILI uIerL guurds wenL pusL us Iooked Ior LIe
number. TIe sLreeLs were IuII oI IurrvIng peopIe wIo wuIked us LIougI
LIev Iud been wound up und were dIrecLed bv some unseen conLroI.
Munv oI LIe men currIed dIspuLcI cuses und brIeI cuses und grIpped
mIne wILI u sense oI ImporLunce. And Iere und LIere suw Negroes
wIo IurrIed uIong wILI IeuLIer poucIes sLrupped Lo LIeIr wrIsLs. TIev
remInded me IIeeLIngIv oI prIsoners currvIng LIeIr Ieg Irons us LIev
escuped Irom u cIuIn gung. YeL LIev seemed uwure oI some seII-
ImporLunce, und wIsIed Lo sLop one und usk IIm wIv Ie wus cIuIned
Lo IIs poucI. Muvbe LIev goL puId weII Ior LIIs, muvbe LIev were
cIuIned Lo monev. PerIups LIe mun wILI rundown IeeIs uIeud oI me
wus cIuIned Lo u mIIIIon doIIurs!
Iooked Lo see II LIere were poIIcemen or deLecLIves wILI druwn
guns IoIIowIng, buL LIere wus no one. Or II so, LIev were IIdden In LIe
IurrvIng crowd. wunLed Lo IoIIow one oI LIe men Lo see wIere Ie wus
goIng. WIv dId LIev LrusL IIm wILI uII LIuL monev? And wIuL wouId
Iuppen II Ie sIouId dIsuppeur wILI IL? BuL oI course no one wouId be
LIuL IooIIsI. TIIs wus WuII SLreeL. PerIups IL wus guurded, us Iud
been LoId posL oIIIces were guurded, bv men wIo Iooked down uL vou
LIrougI peepIoIes In LIe ceIIIng und wuIIs, wuLcIIng vou consLunLIv,
sIIenLIv wuILIng Ior u wrong move. PerIups even now un eve Iud pIcked
me up und wuLcIed mv everv movemenL. Muvbe LIe Iuce oI LIuL cIock
seL In LIe gruv buIIdIng ucross LIe sLreeL IId u puIr oI seurcIIng eves.
IurrIed Lo mv uddress und wus cIuIIenged bv LIe sIeer IeIgIL oI LIe
wIILe sLone wILI ILs scuIpLured bronze Iucude. Men und women IurrIed
InsIde, und uILer sLurIng Ior u momenL IoIIowed, LukIng LIe eIevuLor
und beIng pusIed Lo LIe buck oI LIe cur. L rose IIke u rockeL, creuLIng u
sensuLIon In mv croLcI us LIougI un ImporLunL purL oI mvseII Iud been
IeIL beIow In LIe Iobbv.
AL LIe IusL sLop IeIL LIe cur und wenL down u sLreLcI oI murbIe
IuIIwuv unLII Iound LIe door murked wILI LIe LrusLee's nume. BuL
sLurLIng Lo enLer IosL mv nerve und bucked uwuv. Iooked down LIe
IuII. L wus empLv. WIILe IoIks were Iunnv; Mr. BuLes mIgIL noL wIsI Lo
see u Negro LIe IIrsL LIIng In LIe mornIng. Lurned und wuIked down
LIe IuII und Iooked ouL oI LIe wIndow. wouId wuIL uwIIIe.
BeIow me Iuv SouLI errv, und u sIIp und Lwo burges were pussIng
ouL InLo LIe rIver, und Iur ouL und Lo LIe rIgIL couId muke ouL LIe
SLuLue oI IberLv, Ier LorcI uImosL IosL In LIe Iog. Buck uIong LIe sIore,
guIIs soured LIrougI LIe mIsL ubove LIe docks, und down, so Iur beIow
LIuL IL mude me dIzzv, crowds were movIng. Iooked buck Lo u Ierrv
pussIng LIe SLuLue oI IberLv now, ILs buckwusI u curvIng IIne upon LIe
buv und LIree guIIs swoopIng down beIInd IL.
BeIInd me LIe eIevuLor wus IeLLIng oII pussengers, und Ieurd LIe
cIeerv voIces oI women goIng cIuLLerIng down LIe IuII. Soon wouId
Iuve Lo go In. Mv uncerLuInLv grew. Mv uppeurunce worrIed me. Mr.
BuLes mIgIL noL IIke mv suIL, or LIe cuL oI mv IuIr, und mv cIunce oI u
job wouId be IosL. Iooked uL IIs nume Lvped neuLIv ucross LIe enveIope
und wondered Iow Ie eurned IIs monev. He wus u mIIIIonuIre, knew.
Muvbe Ie Iud uIwuvs been; muvbe Ie wus born u mIIIIonuIre. Never
beIore Iud been so curIous ubouL monev us now LIuL beIIeved wus
surrounded bv IL. PerIups wouId geL u job Iere und uILer u Iew veurs
wouId be senL up und down LIe sLreeLs wILI mIIIIons sLrupped Lo mv
urms, u LrusLed messenger. TIen 'd be senL SouLI uguIn Lo Ieud LIe
coIIege-jusL us LIe muvor's cook Iud been mude prIncIpuI oI LIe scIooI
uILer sIe'd become Loo Iume Lo sLund beIore Ier sLove. OnIv wouIdn'L
sLuv NorLI LIuL Iong; LIev'd need me beIore LIuL . . . BuL now Ior LIe
InLervIew.
EnLerIng LIe oIIIce Iound mvseII Iuce Lo Iuce wILI u voung
womun wIo Iooked up Irom Ier desk us gIunced swIILIv over LIe Iurge
IIgIL room, over LIe comIorLubIe cIuIrs, LIe ceIIIng-IIgI bookcuses
wILI goId und IeuLIer bIndIngs, pusL u serIes oI porLruILs und buck
uguIn, Lo meeL Ier quesLIonIng eves. SIe wus uIone und LIougIL, WeII,
uL IeusL 'm noL Loo eurIv . . .
"Good mornIng," sIe suId, beLruvIng none oI LIe unLugonIsm Iud
expecLed.
"Good mornIng," suId, udvuncIng. How sIouId begIn?
"Yes?"
"s LIIs Mr. BuLes' oIIIce?" suId.
"WIv, ves, IL Is," sIe suId. "Huve vou un uppoInLmenL?"
"No, mu'm," suId, und quIckIv IuLed mvseII Ior suvIng "mu'm" Lo
so voung u wIILe womun, und In LIe NorLI Loo. removed LIe IeLLer
Irom mv brIeI cuse, buL beIore couId expIuIn, sIe suId,
"Muv see IL, pIeuse?"
IesILuLed. dId noL wIsI Lo surrender LIe IeLLer excepL Lo Mr.
BuLes, buL LIere wus u commund In LIe exLended Iund, und obeved.
surrendered IL, expecLIng Ier Lo open IL, buL InsLeud, uILer IookIng uL
LIe enveIope sIe rose und dIsuppeured beIInd u puneIed door wILIouL u
word.
Buck ucross LIe expunse oI curpeL Lo LIe door wIIcI Iud enLered
noLIced severuI cIuIrs buL wus undecIded Lo go LIere. sLood, mv IuL
In mv Iund, IookIng uround me. One wuII cuugIL mv eves. L wus Iung
wILI LIree porLruILs oI dIgnIIIed oId genLIemen In wInged coIIurs wIo
Iooked down Irom LIeIr Irumes wILI un ussurunce und urrogunce LIuL
Iud never seen In unv excepL wIILe men und u Iew bud, ruzor-scurred
Negroes. NoL even Dr. BIedsoe, wIo Iud buL Lo Iook uround IIm
wILIouL speukIng Lo seL LIe LeucIers Lo LrembIIng, Iud sucI ussurunce.
So LIese were LIe kInd oI men wIo sLood beIInd IIm. How dId LIev IIL
In wILI LIe souLIern wIILe IoIks, wILI LIe men wIo guve me mv
scIoIursIIp? wus sLIII sLurIng, cuugIL In LIe speII oI power und
mvsLerv, wIen LIe secreLurv reLurned.
SIe Iooked uL me oddIv und smIIed. "'m verv sorrv," sIe suId, "buL
Mr. BuLes Is jusL Loo busv Lo see vou LIIs mornIng und usks LIuL vou
Ieuve vour nume und uddress. You'II Ieur Irom IIm bv muII."
sLood sIIenL wILI dIsuppoInLmenL. "WrILe IL Iere," sIe suId,
gIvIng me u curd.
"'m sorrv," sIe suId uguIn us scrIbbIed mv uddress und prepured
Lo Ieuve.
" cun be reucIed Iere uL unv LIme," suId.
"Verv good," sIe suId. "You sIouId Ieur verv soon."
SIe seemed verv kInd und InLeresLed, und IeIL In good spIrILs. Mv
Ieurs were groundIess, LIere wus noLIIng Lo IL. TIIs wus New York.
succeeded In reucIIng severuI LrusLees' secreLurIes durIng LIe
duvs LIuL IoIIowed, und uII were IrIendIv und encourugIng. Some Iooked
uL me sLrungeIv, buL dIsmIssed IL sInce IL dIdn'L uppeur Lo be
unLugonIsm. PerIups LIev're surprIsed Lo see someone IIke me wILI
InLroducLIons Lo sucI ImporLunL men, LIougIL. WeII, LIere were
unseen IInes LIuL run Irom NorLI Lo SouLI, und Mr. NorLon Iud cuIIed
me IIs desLInv . . . swung mv brIeI cuse wILI conIIdence.
WILI LIIngs goIng so weII dIsLrIbuLed mv IeLLers In LIe mornIngs,
und suw LIe cILv durIng LIe uILernoons. WuIkIng ubouL LIe sLreeLs,
sILLIng on subwuvs besIde wIILes, euLIng wILI LIem In LIe sume
cuIeLerIus (uILIougI uvoIded LIeIr LubIes) guve me LIe eerIe, ouL-oI-
Iocus sensuLIon oI u dreum. Mv cIoLIes IeIL III-IILLIng; und Ior uII mv
IeLLers Lo men oI power, wus unsure oI Iow sIouId ucL. or LIe IIrsL
LIme, us swung uIong LIe sLreeLs, LIougIL conscIousIv oI Iow Iud
conducLed mvseII uL Iome. Iudn'L worrIed Loo mucI ubouL wIILes us
peopIe. Some were IrIendIv und some were noL, und vou LrIed noL Lo
oIIend eILIer. BuL Iere LIev uII seemed ImpersonuI; und veL wIen mosL
ImpersonuI LIev sLurLIed me bv beIng poIILe, bv beggIng mv purdon
uILer brusIIng uguInsL me In u crowd. SLIII IeIL LIuL even wIen LIev
were poIILe LIev IurdIv suw me, LIuL LIev wouId Iuve begged LIe
purdon oI Juck LIe Beur, never gIuncIng IIs wuv II LIe beur Iuppened Lo
be wuIkIng uIong mIndIng IIs busIness. L wus conIusIng. dId noL
know II IL wus desIrubIe or undesIrubIe . . .
BuL mv muIn concern wus seeIng LIe LrusLees und uILer more LIun
u week oI seeIng LIe cILv und beIng vugueIv encouruged bv secreLurIes,
becume ImpuLIenL. Iud dIsLrIbuLed uII buL LIe IeLLer Lo u Mr. Emerson,
wIo knew Irom LIe pupers wus uwuv Irom LIe cILv. SeveruI LImes
sLurLed down Lo see wIuL Iud Iuppened buL cIunged mv mInd. dId
noL wIsI Lo seem Loo ImpuLIenL. BuL LIme wus becomIng sIorL. UnIess
Iound work soon wouId never eurn enougI Lo enLer scIooI bv IuII.
Iud uIreudv wrILLen Iome LIuL wus workIng Ior u member oI LIe
LrusLee bourd, und LIe onIv IeLLer Iud receIved so Iur wus one LeIIIng
me Iow wonderIuI LIev LIougIL IL wus und wurnIng me uguInsL LIe
wuvs oI LIe wIcked cILv. Now couIdn'L wrILe LIem Ior monev wILIouL
reveuIIng LIuL Iud been IvIng ubouL LIe job.
InuIIv LrIed Lo reucI LIe ImporLunL men bv LeIepIone, onIv Lo
receIve poIILe reIusuIs bv LIeIr secreLurIes. BuL IorLunuLeIv sLIII Iud LIe
IeLLer Lo Mr. Emerson. decIded Lo use IL, buL InsLeud oI IundIng IL over
Lo u secreLurv, wroLe u IeLLer expIuInIng LIuL Iud u messuge Irom Dr.
BIedsoe und requesLIng un uppoInLmenL. Muvbe 've been wrong ubouL
LIe secreLurIes, LIougIL; muvbe LIev desLroved LIe IeLLers. sIouId
Iuve been more cureIuI.
LIougIL oI Mr. NorLon. I onIv LIe IusL IeLLer Iud been uddressed
Lo IIm. I onIv Ie IIved In New York so LIuL couId muke u personuI
uppeuI! SomeIow IeIL cIoser Lo Mr. NorLon, und IeIL LIuL II Ie sIouId
see me, Ie wouId remember LIuL IL wus wIom Ie connecLed so cIoseIv
Lo IIs IuLe. Now IL seemed uges ugo und In u dIIIerenL seuson und u
dIsLunL Iund. AcLuuIIv, IL wus Iess LIun u monLI. becume energeLIc und
wroLe IIm u IeLLer, expressIng mv beIIeI LIuL mv IuLure wouId be
ImmeusurubIv dIIIerenL II onIv couId work Ior IIm; LIuL Ie wouId be
beneIILed us weII us . wus especIuIIv cureIuI Lo uIIow some IndIcuLIon
oI mv ubIIILv Lo come LIrougI LIe uppeuI. spenL severuI Iours on LIe
LvpIng, desLrovIng copv uILer copv unLII Iud compIeLed one LIuL wus
ImmucuIuLe, cureIuIIv pIrused und mosL respecLIuI. IurrIed down und
posLed IL beIore LIe IInuI muII coIIecLIon, suddenIv seIzed wILI LIe dIzzv
convIcLIon LIuL IL wouId brIng resuILs. remuIned ubouL LIe buIIdIng Ior
LIree duvs uwuILIng un unswer. BuL LIe IeLLer brougIL no repIv. Nor,
unv more LIun u pruver ununswered bv God, wus IL reLurned.
Mv doubLs grew. PerIups uII wus noL weII. remuIned In mv room
uII LIe nexL duv. grew conscIous LIuL wus uIruId; more uIruId Iere In
mv room LIun Iud ever been In LIe SouLI. And uII LIe more, becuuse
Iere LIere wus noLIIng concreLe Lo Iuv IL Lo. AII LIe secreLurIes Iud been
encourugIng. n LIe evenIng wenL ouL Lo u movIe, u pIcLure oI IronLIer
IIIe wILI IeroIc ndIun IIgILIng und sLruggIes uguInsL IIood, sLorm und
IoresL IIre, wILI LIe ouL-numbered seLLIers wInnIng eucI engugemenL;
un epIc oI wugon LruIns roIIIng ever wesLwurd. IorgoL mvseII (uILIougI
LIere wus no one IIke me LukIng purL In LIe udvenLures) und IeIL LIe
durk room In u IIgILer mood. BuL LIuL nIgIL dreumed oI mv
grundIuLIer und uwoke depressed. wuIked ouL oI LIe buIIdIng wILI u
queer IeeIIng LIuL wus pIuvIng u purL In some scIeme wIIcI dId noL
undersLund. SomeIow IeIL LIuL BIedsoe und NorLon were beIInd IL,
und uII duv wus InIIbILed In boLI speecI und conducL, Ior Ieur LIuL
mIgIL suv or do someLIIng scunduIous. BuL LIIs wus uII IunLusLIc, LoId
mvseII. wus beIng Loo ImpuLIenL. couId wuIL Ior LIe LrusLees Lo muke
u move. PerIups wus beIng subjecLed Lo u LesL oI some kInd. TIev
Iudn'L LoId me LIe ruIes, knew, buL LIe IeeIIng persIsLed. PerIups mv
exIIe wouId end suddenIv und wouId be gIven u scIoIursIIp Lo reLurn
Lo LIe cumpus. BuL wIen? How Iong?
SomeLIIng Iud Lo Iuppen soon. wouId Iuve Lo IInd u job Lo LIde
me over. Mv monev wus uImosL gone und unvLIIng mIgIL Iuppen. Iud
been so conIIdenL LIuL Iud IuIIed Lo puL usIde LIe prIce oI LruIn Iure
Iome. wus mIserubIe und dured noL LuIk Lo unvone ubouL mv
probIems; noL even LIe oIIIcIuIs uL Men's House, Ior sInce LIev Iud
Ieurned LIuL wus Lo be ussIgned Lo un ImporLunL job, LIev LreuLed me
wILI u cerLuIn deIerence; LIereIore wus cureIuI Lo IIde mv growIng
doubLs. AILer uII, LIougIL, mIgIL Iuve Lo usk Ior credIL und 'II Iuve
Lo uppeur u good rIsk. No, LIe LIIng Lo do wus Lo keep IuILI. 'd sLurL ouL
once more In LIe mornIng. SomeLIIng wus cerLuIn Lo Iuppen
Lomorrow. And IL dId. receIved u IeLLer Irom Mr. Emerson.
CIupLer
L wus u cIeur, brIgIL duv wIen wenL ouL, und LIe sun burned
wurm upon mv eves. OnIv u Iew IIecks oI snowv cIoud Iung IIgI In LIe
mornIng-bIue skv, und uIreudv u womun wus IungIng wusI on u rooI.
IeIL beLLer wuIkIng uIong. A IeeIIng oI conIIdence grew. ur down LIe
IsIund LIe skvscrupers rose LuII und mvsLerIous In LIe LIIn, pusLeI Iuze.
A mIIk Lruck wenL pusL. LIougIL oI LIe scIooI. WIuL were LIev doIng
now on LIe cumpus? Hud LIe moon sunk Iow und LIe sun cIImbed
cIeur? Hud LIe breukIusL bugIe bIown? DId LIe beIIow oI LIe bIg seed
buII uwuken LIe gIrIs In LIe dorms LIIs mornIng us on mosL sprIng
mornIngs wIen wus LIere-soundIng cIeur und IuII ubove beIIs und
bugIes und eurIv workuduv sounds? IurrIed uIong, encouruged bv LIe
memorIes, und suddenIv wus seIzed wILI u cerLuInLv LIuL Loduv wus
LIe duv. SomeLIIng wouId Iuppen. puLLed mv brIeI cuse, LIInkIng oI
LIe IeLLer InsIde. TIe IusL Iud been IIrsL-u good sIgn.
CIose Lo LIe curb uIeud suw u mun pusIIng u curL pIIed IIgI wILI
roIIs oI bIue puper und Ieurd IIm sIngIng In u cIeur rIngIng voIce. L
wus u bIues, und wuIked uIong beIInd IIm rememberIng LIe LImes
LIuL Iud Ieurd sucI sIngIng uL Iome. L seemed LIuL Iere some
memorIes sIIpped uround mv IIIe uL LIe cumpus und wenL Iur buck Lo
LIIngs Iud Iong ugo sIuL ouL oI mv mInd. TIere wus no escupIng sucI
remInders.
"SIe's goL IeeL IIke u monkev
egs IIke u Irog-uwd, uwd!
BuL wIen sIe sLurLs Lo IovIng me
IoIIer WIoooo, God-dog!
Cuuse Ioves mv buubuv,
BeLLer LIun do mvseII . . ."
And us drew uIongsIde wus sLurLIed Lo Ieur IIm cuII Lo me:
"ooku-veur, buddv . . ."
"Yes," suId, puusIng Lo Iook InLo IIs reddIsI eves.
"TeII me jusL one LIIng LIIs verv IIne mornIng-Hev! WuIL u
mInuLe, duddv-o, 'm goIng vour wuv!"
"WIuL Is IL?" suId.
"WIuL wunL Lo know Is," Ie suId, "Is vou goL LIe dog?"
"Dog? WIuL dog?"
"SIo," Ie suId, sLoppIng IIs curL und resLIng IL on ILs supporL.
"TIuL's IL. WIo -" Ie IuILed Lo croucI wILI one IooL on LIe curb IIke u
counLrv preucIer ubouL Lo pound IIs BIbIe-"goL . . . LIe . . . dog," IIs
Ieud snuppIng wILI eucI word IIke un ungrv roosLer's.
IuugIed nervousIv und sLepped buck. He wuLcIed me ouL oI
sIrewd eves. "OI, goddog, duddv-o," Ie suId wILI u sudden bIusLer,
"wIo goL LIe dumn dog? Now know vou Irom down Iome, Iow come
vou LrvIng Lo ucL IIke vou never Ieurd LIuL beIore! HeII, uIn'L nobodv
ouL Iere LIIs mornIng buL us coIored-WIv vou LrvIng Lo denv me?"
SuddenIv wus emburrussed und ungrv. "Denv vou? WIuL do vou
meun?"
"JusL unswer LIe quesLIon. s vou goL IIm, or uIn'L vou?"
"A dog?"
"YeuI, LIe dog."
wus exusperuLed. "No, noL LIIs mornIng," suId und suw u grIn
spreud over IIs Iuce.
"WuIL u mInuLe, duddv. Now don'L go geL mud. Dumn, mun!
LIougIL sIo vou Iud IIm," Ie suId, preLendIng Lo dIsbeIIeve me.
sLurLed uwuv und Ie pusIed LIe curL besIde me. And suddenIv IeIL
uncomIorLubIe. SomeIow Ie wus IIke one oI LIe veLs Irom LIe GoIden
Duv . . .
"WeII, muvbe IL's LIe oLIer wuv round," Ie suId. "Muvbe Ie goL
IoIL Lo vou."
"Muvbe," suId.
"I Ie Is, vou Iuckv IL's jusL u dog-'cuuse, mun, LeII vou beIIeve
IL's u beur LIuL's goL IoIL Lo me."
"A beur?"
"HeII, ves! TIe beur. CuInL vou see LIese puLcIes wIere Ie's been
cIuwIng uL mv beIInd?"
PuIIIng LIe seuL oI IIs CIurIIe CIupIIn punLs Lo LIe sIde, Ie broke
InLo deep IuugILer.
"Mun, LIIs HurIem uIn'L noLIIng buL u beur's den. BuL LeII vou
one LIIng," Ie suId wILI swIILIv soberIng Iuce, "IL's LIe besL pIuce In LIe
worId Ior vou und me, und II LImes don'L geL beLLer soon 'm goIng Lo
grub LIuL beur und Lurn IIm everv wuv buL Ioose!"
"Don'L IeL IIm geL vou down," suId.
"No, duddv-o, 'm goIng Lo sLurL wILI one mv own sIze!"
LrIed Lo LIInk oI some suvIng ubouL beurs Lo repIv, buL
remembered onIv Juck LIe RubbIL, Juck LIe Beur . . . wIo were boLI
Iong IorgoLLen und now brougIL u wuve oI IomesIckness. wunLed Lo
Ieuve IIm, und veL Iound u cerLuIn comIorL In wuIkIng uIong besIde
IIm, us LIougI we'd wuIked LIIs wuv beIore LIrougI oLIer mornIngs, In
oLIer pIuces . . .
"WIuL Is uII LIuL vou Iuve LIere?" suId, poInLIng Lo LIe roIIs oI
bIue puper sLucked In LIe curL.
"BIueprInLs, mun. Here goL 'bouL u Iundred pounds oI bIueprInLs
und couIdn'L buIId noLIIng!"
"WIuL ure LIev bIueprInLs Ior?" suId.
"Dumn II know-evervLIIng. CILIes, Lowns, counLrv cIubs. Some
jusL buIIdIngs und Iouses. goL dumn neur enougI Lo buIId me u Iouse
II couId IIve In u puper Iouse IIke LIev do In Jupun. guess somebodv
done cIunged LIeIr pIuns," Ie udded wILI u IuugI. " usked LIe mun
wIv LIev geLLIng rId oI uII LIIs sLuII und Ie suId LIev geL In LIe wuv so
everv once In u wIIIe LIev Iuve Lo LIrow 'em ouL Lo muke pIuce Ior LIe
new pIuns. PIenLv oI LIese uIn'L never been used, vou know."
"You Iuve quILe u IoL," suId.
"YeuI, LIIs uIn'L uII neILIer. goL u coupIu Iouds. TIere's u duv's
work rIgIL Iere In LIIs sLuII. oIks Is uIwuvs mukIng pIuns und cIungIng
'em."
"Yes, LIuL's rIgIL," suId, LIInkIng oI mv IeLLers, "buL LIuL's u
mIsLuke. You Iuve Lo sLIck Lo LIe pIun."
He Iooked uL me, suddenIv gruve. "You kIndu voung, duddv-o," Ie
suId.
dId noL unswer. We cume Lo u corner uL LIe Lop oI u IIII.
"WeII, duddv-o, IL's been good LuIkIng wILI u voungsLer Irom LIe
oId counLrv buL goL Lo Ieuve vou now. TIIs Iere's one oI LIem good oIe
downIIII sLreeLs. cun cousL u wIIIe und won'L be worn ouL uL LIe end oI
LIe duv. Dumn II 'm-u IeL 'em run me InLo mv gruve. be seeIng vou
uguIn someLIme-And vou know someLIIng?"
"WIuL's LIuL?"
" LIougIL vou wus LrvIng Lo denv me uL IIrsL, buL now be preLLv
gIud Lo see vou . . ."
" Iope so," suId. "And vou Luke IL eusv."
"OI, 'II do LIuL. AII IL Lukes Lo geL uIong In LIIs Iere mun's Lown Is
u IILLIe sIIL, grIL und moLIer-wIL. And mun, wus buwn wILI uII LIree. n
IucL,
'musevenLIsonoIusevenLIsonbuwnwILIucuuIoverboLIevesundruIsedon
bIuckcuL-bonesIIgIjoInLIeconquerorundgreusvgreens -" Ie spIeIed
wILI LwInkIIng eves, IIs IIps workIng rupIdIv. "You dIg me, duddv?"
"You're goIng Loo IusL," suId, begInnIng Lo IuugI.
"Okuv, 'm sIowIng down. 'II verse vou buL won'L curse vou-Mv
nume Is PeLer WIeuLsLruw, 'm LIe DevII's onIv son-In-Iuw, so roII 'em!
You u souLIern bov, uIn'L vou?" Ie suId, IIs Ieud Lo one sIde IIke u
beur's.
"Yes," suId.
"WeII, gIL wILI IL! Mv nume's BIue und 'm comIng uL vou wILI u
pILcIIork. e I o um. WIo wunLs Lo sIooL LIe DevII one, ord God
SLIngerov!"
He Iud me grInnIng despILe mvseII. IIked IIs words LIougI
dIdn'L know LIe unswer. 'd known LIe sLuII Irom cIIIdIood, buL Iud
IorgoLLen IL; Iud Ieurned IL buck oI scIooI . . .
"You dIggIng me, duddv?" Ie IuugIed. "Huw, buL Iook me up
someLImes, 'm u pIuno pIuver und u rounder, u wIIskev drInker und u
puvemenL pounder. 'II LeucI vou some good bud IubILs. You'II need
'em. Good Iuck," Ie suId.
"So Iong," suId und wuLcIed IIm goIng. wuLcIed IIm pusI
uround LIe corner Lo LIe Lop oI LIe IIII IeunIng sIurp uguInsL LIe curL
IundIe, und Ieurd IIs voIce urIse, muIIIed now, us Ie sLurLed down.
SIe's goL IeeL IIke u monkeeee
egs
egs, egs IIke u muuud
BuIIdog . . .
WIuL does IL meun, LIougIL. 'd Ieurd IL uII mv IIIe buL suddenIv
LIe sLrungeness oI IL cume LIrougI Lo me. Wus IL ubouL u womun or
ubouL some sLrunge spIInxIIke unImuI? CerLuInIv IIs womun, no
womun, IILLed LIuL descrIpLIon. And wIv descrIbe unvone In sucI
conLrudIcLorv words? Wus IL u spIInx? DId oId CIupIIn-punLs, oId
dusLv-buLL, Iove Ier or IuLe Ier; or wus Ie mereIv sIngIng? WIuL kInd
oI womun couId Iove u dIrLv IeIIow IIke LIuL, unvwuv? And Iow couId
even Ie Iove Ier II sIe were us repuIsIve us LIe song descrIbed? moved
uIeud. PerIups evervone Ioved someone; dIdn'L know. couIdn'L gIve
mucI LIougIL Lo Iove; In order Lo LruveI Iur vou Iud Lo be deLucIed, und
Iud LIe Iong roud buck Lo LIe cumpus beIore me. sLrode uIong,
IeurIng LIe curLmun's song become u Ionesome, broud-Loned wIIsLIe
now LIuL IIowered uL LIe end oI eucI pIruse InLo u LremuIous, bIue-
Loned cIord. And In ILs IIuLLer und swoop Ieurd LIe sound oI u
ruIIroud LruIn IIgIbuIIIng IL, IoneIv ucross LIe IoneIv nIgIL. He wus LIe
DevII's son-In-Iuw, uII rIgIL, und Ie wus u mun wIo couId wIIsLIe u
LIree-Loned cIord . . . God dumn, LIougIL, LIev're u IeII oI u peopIe!
And dIdn'L know wIeLIer IL wus prIde or dIsgusL LIuL suddenIv IIusIed
over me.
AL LIe corner Lurned InLo u drugsLore und Look u seuL uL LIe
counLer. SeveruI men were benL over pIuLes oI Iood. GIuss gIobes oI
coIIee sImmered ubove bIue IIumes. couId IeeI LIe odor oI IrvIng
bucon reucI deep InLo mv sLomucI us wuLcIed LIe counLermun open
LIe doors oI LIe grIII und Lurn LIe Ieun sLrIps over und bung LIe doors
sIuL uguIn. Above, IucIng LIe counLer, u bIonde, sun-burned coIIege gIrI
smIIed down, InvILIng uII und sundrv Lo drInk u coke. TIe counLermun
cume over.
"'ve goL someLIIng good Ior vou," Ie suId, pIucIng u gIuss oI wuLer
beIore me. "How ubouL LIe specIuI?"
"WIuL's LIe specIuI?"
"Pork cIops, grILs, one egg, IoL bIscuILs und coIIee!" He Ieuned
over LIe counLer wILI u Iook LIuL seemed Lo suv, TIere, LIuL ougIL Lo
excILe vou, bov. CouId evervone see LIuL wus souLIern?
"'II Iuve orunge juIce, LousL und coIIee," suId coIdIv.
He sIook IIs Ieud, "You IooIed me," Ie suId, sIummIng Lwo pIeces
oI breud InLo LIe LousLer. " wouId Iuve sworn vou were u pork cIop
mun. s LIuL juIce Iurge or smuII?"
"Muke IL Iurge," suId.
Iooked sIIenLIv uL LIe buck oI IIs Ieud us Ie sIIced un orunge,
LIInkIng, sIouId order LIe specIuI und geL up und wuIk ouL. WIo does
Ie LIInk Ie Is?
A seed IIouLed In LIe LIIck Iuver oI puIp LIuL Iormed uL LIe Lop oI
LIe gIuss. IIsIed IL ouL wILI u spoon und LIen downed LIe ucId drInk,
proud Lo Iuve resIsLed LIe pork cIops und grILs. L wus un ucL oI
dIscIpIIne, u sIgn oI LIe cIunge LIuL wus comIng over me und wIIcI
wouId reLurn me Lo coIIege u more experIenced mun. wouId be
busIcuIIv LIe sume, LIougIL, sLIrrIng mv coIIee, veL so subLIv cIunged
us Lo InLrIgue LIose wIo Iud never been NorLI. L uIwuvs IeIped uL LIe
coIIege Lo be u IILLIe dIIIerenL, especIuIIv II vou wIsIed Lo pIuv u IeudIng
roIe. L mude LIe IoIks LuIk ubouL vou, Lrv Lo IIgure vou ouL. Iud Lo be
cureIuI LIougI, noL Lo speuk Loo mucI IIke u norLIern Negro; LIev
wouIdn'L IIke LIuL. TIe LIIng Lo do, LIougIL wILI u smIIe, wus Lo gIve
LIem IInLs LIuL wIuLever vou dId or suId wus weIgILed wILI broud und
mvsLerIous meunIngs LIuL Iuv jusL beneuLI LIe surIuce. TIev'd Iove
LIuL. And LIe vuguer vou LoId LIIngs, LIe beLLer. You Iud Lo keep LIem
guessIng-jusL us LIev guessed ubouL Dr. BIedsoe: DId Dr. BIedsoe sLop
uL un expensIve wIILe IoLeI wIen Ie vIsILed New York? DId Ie go on
purLIes wILI LIe LrusLees? And Iow dId Ie ucL?
"Mun, beL Ie Ius IIm u IIne LIme. TIev LeII me wIen OIe Doc geLs
Lo New York Ie don'L sLop Ior LIe red IIgILs. Suv Ie drInks IIs good red
wIIskev und smokes IIs good bIuck cIgurs und IorgeLs uII ubouL vou oIe
know-noLIIng-Negroes down Iere on LIe cumpus. Suv wIen Ie geLs up
NorLI Ie mukes evervbodv cuII IIm MIsLer DocLor BIedsoe."
smIIed us LIe conversuLIon cume buck Lo mv mInd. IeIL good.
PerIups IL wus uII Lo LIe besL LIuL Iud been senL uwuv. Iud Ieurned
more. HereLoIore uII LIe cumpus gossIp Iud seemed mereIv muIIcIous
und dIsrespecLIuI; now couId see LIe udvunLuge Ior Dr. BIedsoe.
WIeLIer we IIked IIm or noL, Ie wus never ouL oI our mInds. TIuL wus
u secreL oI IeudersIIp. SLrunge sIouId LIInk oI IL now, Ior uILIougI 'd
never gIven IL unv LIougIL beIore, seemed Lo Iuve known IL uII uIong.
OnIv Iere LIe dIsLunce Irom LIe cumpus seemed Lo muke IL cIeur und
Iurd, und LIougIL IL wILIouL Ieur. Here IL cume Lo Iund jusL us eusIIv
us LIe coIn wIIcI now pIuced on LIe counLer Ior mv breukIusL. L wus
IIILeen cenLs und us IeIL Ior u nIckeI Look ouL unoLIer dIme, LIInkIng,
s IL un InsuIL wIen one oI us LIps one oI LIem?
Iooked Ior LIe counLermun, seeIng IIm servIng u pIuLe oI pork
cIops und grILs Lo u mun wILI u puIe bIond musLucIe, und sLured; LIen
sIupped LIe dIme on LIe counLer und IeIL, unnoved LIuL LIe dIme dId
noL rIng us Ioud us u IIILv-cenL pIece.
WHEN reucIed LIe door oI Mr. Emerson's oIIIce IL occurred Lo
me LIuL perIups sIouId Iuve wuILed unLII LIe busIness oI LIe duv wus
under wuv, buL dIsregurded LIe Ideu und wenL uIeud. Mv beIng eurIv
wouId be, Ioped, un IndIcuLIon oI boLI Iow budIv wunLed work, und
Iow prompLIv wouId perIorm unv ussIgnmenL gIven me. BesIdes,
wusn'L LIere u suvIng LIuL LIe IIrsL person oI LIe duv Lo enLer u busIness
wouId geL u burguIn? Or wus LIuL suId onIv oI JewIsI busIness?
removed LIe IeLLer Irom mv brIeI cuse. Wus Emerson u CIrIsLIun or u
JewIsI nume?
Bevond LIe door IL wus IIke u museum. Iud enLered u Iurge
recepLIon room decoruLed wILI cooI LropIcuI coIors. One wuII wus
uImosL covered bv u Iuge coIored mup, Irom wIIcI nurrow red sIIk
rIbbons sLreLcIed LuuLIv Irom eucI dIvIsIon oI LIe mup Lo u serIes oI
ebonv pedesLuIs, upon wIIcI suL gIuss specImen jurs conLuInIng nuLuruI
producLs oI LIe vurIous counLrIes. L wus un ImporLIng IIrm. Iooked
uround LIe room, umuzed. TIere were puInLIngs, bronzes, LupesLrIes,
uII beuuLIIuIIv urrunged. wus duzzIed und so Luken ubuck LIuL uImosL
dropped mv brIeI cuse wIen Ieurd u voIce suv, "And wIuL wouId vour
busIness be?"
suw LIe IIgure ouL oI u coIIur ud: ruddv Iuce wILI bIond IuIr
IuuILIessIv In pIuce, u LropIcuI weuve suIL druped IundsomeIv Irom IIs
broud sIouIders, IIs eves gruv und nervous beIInd cIeur-Irumed
gIusses.
expIuIned mv uppoInLmenL. "OI, ves," Ie suId. "Muv see LIe
IeLLer, pIeuse?"
Iunded IL over, noLIcIng LIe goId IInks In LIe soIL wIILe cuIIs us
Ie exLended IIs Iund. GIuncIng uL LIe enveIope Ie Iooked buck uL me
wILI u sLrunge InLeresL In IIs eves und suId, "Huve u seuL, pIeuse. 'II be
wILI vou In u momenL."
wuLcIed IIm Ieuve noIseIessIv, movIng wILI u Iong IIp-swIngIng
sLrIde LIuL cuused me Lo Irown. wenL over und Look u Leukwood cIuIr
wILI cusIIons oI emeruId-green sIIk, sILLIng sLIIIIv wILI mv brIeI cuse
ucross mv knees. He musL Iuve been sILLIng LIere wIen cume In, Ior
on u LubIe LIuL IeId u beuuLIIuI dwurI Lree suw smoke rIsIng Irom u
cIgureLLe In u jude usI Lruv. An open book, someLIIng cuIIed ToLem und
Tuboo, Iuv besIde IL. Iooked ucross Lo u IIgILed cuse oI CIInese desIgn
wIIcI IeId deIIcuLe-IookIng sLuLues oI Iorses und bIrds, smuII vuses
und bowIs, eucI seL upon u curved wooden buse. TIe room wus quIeL us
u Lomb-unLII suddenIv LIere wus u suvuge beuLIng oI wIngs und
Iooked Lowurd LIe wIndow Lo see un erupLIon oI coIor, us LIougI u guIe
Iud wIIpped up u bundIe oI brIgILIv coIored rugs. L wus un uvIurv oI
LropIcuI bIrds seL neur one oI LIe broud wIndows, LIrougI wIIcI, us LIe
cIuppIng oI wIngs seLLIed down, couId see Lwo sIIps pIvIng Iur ouL
upon LIe greenIsI buv beIow. A Iurge bIrd begun u song, druwIng mv
eves Lo LIe LIrobbIng oI ILs brIgIL bIue, red und veIIow LIrouL. L wus
sLurLIIng und wuLcIed LIe surge und IIuLLer oI LIe bIrds us LIeIr coIors
IIured Ior un InsLunL IIke un unIurIed orIenLuI Iun. wunLed Lo go und
sLund neur LIe cuge Ior u beLLer vIew, buL decIded uguInsL IL. L mIgIL
seem unbusInessIIke. observed LIe room Irom LIe cIuIr.
TIese IoIks ure LIe KIngs oI LIe EurLI! LIougIL, IeurIng LIe bIrd
muke un ugIv noIse. TIere wus noLIIng IIke LIIs uL LIe coIIege museum
-or unvwIere eIse LIuL Iud ever been. recuIIed onIv u Iew crucked
reIIcs Irom sIuverv LImes: un Iron poL, un uncIenL beII, u seL oI unkIe-
Irons und IInks oI cIuIn, u prImILIve Ioom, u spInnIng wIeeI, u gourd Ior
drInkIng, un ugIv ebonv AIrIcun god LIuL seemed Lo sneer (presenLed Lo
LIe scIooI bv some LruveIIng mIIIIonuIre), u IeuLIer wIIp wILI copper
bruds, u brundIng Iron wILI LIe doubIe IeLLer MM. TIougI Iud seen
LIem verv seIdom, LIev were vIvId In mv mInd. TIev Iud noL been
pIeusunL und wIenever Iud vIsILed LIe room uvoIded LIe gIuss cuse
In wIIcI LIev resLed, preIerrIng InsLeud Lo Iook uL pIoLogrupIs oI LIe
eurIv duvs uILer LIe CIvII Wur, LIe LImes cIose Lo LIose bIInd Burbee Iud
descrIbed. And Iud noL Iooked even uL LIese Loo oILen.
LrIed Lo reIux; LIe cIuIr wus beuuLIIuI buL Iurd. WIere Iud LIe
mun gone? Hud Ie sIown unv unLugonIsm wIen Ie suw me? wus
unnoved LIuL Iud IuIIed Lo see IIm IIrsL. One Iud Lo wuLcI sucI
deLuIIs. SuddenIv LIere cume u IursI crv Irom LIe cuge, und once more
suw u mud IIusIIng us LIougI LIe bIrds Iud bursL InLo sponLuneous
IIume, IIuLLerIng und beuLIng LIeIr wIngs muIIcIousIv uguInsL LIe
bumboo burs, onIv Lo seLLIe down jusL us suddenIv wIen LIe door
opened und LIe bIond mun sLood beckonIng, IIs Iund upon LIe knob.
wenL over, Lense InsIde me. Hud been uccepLed or rejecLed?
TIere wus u quesLIon In IIs eves. "Come In, pIeuse," Ie suId.
"TIunk vou," suId, wuILIng Lo IoIIow IIm.
"PIeuse," Ie suId wILI u sIIgIL smIIe.
moved uIeud oI IIm, soundIng LIe Lone oI IIs words Ior u sIgn.
" wunL Lo usk vou u Iew quesLIons," Ie suId, wuvIng mv IeLLer uL
Lwo cIuIrs.
"Yes, sIr?" suId.
"TeII me, wIuL Is IL LIuL vou're LrvIng Lo uccompIIsI?" Ie suId.
" wunL u job, sIr, so LIuL cun eurn enougI monev Lo reLurn Lo
coIIege In LIe IuII."
"To vour oId scIooI?"
"Yes, sIr."
" see." or u momenL Ie sLudIed me sIIenLIv. "WIen do vou
expecL Lo gruduuLe?"
"NexL veur, sIr. 've compIeLed mv junIor cIusses . . ."
"OI, vou Iuve? TIuL's verv good. And Iow oId ure vou?"
"AImosL LwenLv, sIr."
"A junIor uL nIneLeen? You ure u good sLudenL."
"TIunk vou, sIr," suId, begInnIng Lo enjov LIe InLervIew.
"Were vou un uLIIeLe?" Ie usked.
"No, sIr . . ."
"You Iuve LIe buIId," Ie suId, IookIng me up und down. "You'd
probubIv muke un exceIIenL runner, u sprInLer."
"'ve never LrIed, sIr."
"And suppose IL's sIIIv even Lo usk wIuL vou LIInk oI vour AImu
MuLer?" Ie suId.
" LIInk IL's one oI LIe besL In LIe worId," suId, IeurIng mv voIce
surge wILI deep IeeIIng.
" know, know," Ie suId, wILI u swIIL dIspIeusure LIuL surprIsed
me.
becume uIerL uguIn us Ie mumbIed someLIIng IncompreIensIbIe
ubouL "nosLuIgIu Ior Hurvurd vurd."
"BuL wIuL II vou were oIIered un opporLunILv Lo IInIsI vour work
uL some oLIer coIIege," Ie suId, IIs eves wIdenIng beIInd IIs gIusses.
HIs smIIe Iud reLurned.
"AnoLIer coIIege?" usked, mv mInd begInnIng Lo wIIrI.
"WIv, ves, suv some scIooI In New EngIund . . ."
Iooked uL IIm speecIIessIv. DId Ie meun Hurvurd? Wus LIIs
good or bud. WIere wus IL IeudIng? " don'L know, sIr," suId
cuuLIousIv. "'ve never LIougIL ubouL IL. 've onIv u veur more, und,
weII, know evervone uL mv oId scIooI und LIev know me . . ."
cume Lo u conIused IuIL, seeIng IIm Iook uL me wILI u sIgI oI
resIgnuLIon. WIuL wus on IIs mInd? PerIups Iud been Loo Irunk
ubouL reLurnIng Lo LIe coIIege, muvbe Ie wus uguInsL our IuvIng u
IIgIer educuLIon . . . BuL IeII, Ie's onIv u secreLurv . . . Or Is Ie?
" undersLund," Ie suId cuImIv. "L wus presumpLuous oI me Lo
even suggesL unoLIer scIooI. guess one's coIIege Is reuIIv u kInd oI
moLIer und IuLIer . . . u sucred muLLer."
"Yes, sIr. TIuL's IL," suId In IurrIed ugreemenL.
HIs eves nurrowed. "BuL now musL usk vou un emburrussIng
quesLIon. Do vou mInd?"
"WIv, no, sIr," suId nervousIv.
" don'L IIke Lo usk LIIs, buL IL's quILe necessurv . . ." He Ieuned
Iorwurd wILI u puIned Irown. "TeII me, dId vou reud LIe IeLLer wIIcI
vou brougIL Lo Mr. Emerson? TIIs," Ie suId, LukIng LIe IeLLer Irom LIe
LubIe.
"WIv, no, sIr! L wusn'L uddressed Lo me, so nuLuruIIv wouIdn'L
LIInk oI openIng IL . . ."
"OI course noL, know vou wouIdn'L," Ie suId, IIuLLerIng IIs Iund
und sILLIng erecL. "'m sorrv und vou musL dIsmIss IL, IIke one oI LIose
unnovIng personuI quesLIons vou IInd so oILen nowuduvs on supposedIv
ImpersonuI Iorms."
dIdn'L beIIeve IIm. "BuL wus IL opened, sIr? Someone mIgIL Iuve
gone InLo mv LIIngs . . ."
"OI, no, noLIIng IIke LIuL. PIeuse IorgeL LIe quesLIon . . . And LeII
me, pIeuse, wIuL ure vour pIuns uILer gruduuLIon?"
"'m noL sure, sIr. 'd IIke Lo be usked Lo remuIn uL LIe coIIege us u
LeucIer, or us u member oI LIe udmInIsLruLIve sLuII. And . . . WeII . . ."
"Yes? And wIuL eIse?"
"WeII-er, guess 'd reuIIv IIke Lo become Dr. BIedsoe's ussIsLunL .
. ."
"OI, see," Ie suId, sILLIng buck und IormIng IIs mouLI InLo u
LIIn-IIpped cIrcIe. "You're verv umbILIous."
" guess um, sIr. BuL 'm wIIIIng Lo work Iurd."
"AmbILIon Is u wonderIuI Iorce," Ie suId, "buL someLImes IL cun be
bIIndIng . . . On LIe oLIer Iund, IL cun muke vou successIuI-IIke mv
IuLIer . . ." A new edge cume InLo IIs voIce und Ie Irowned und Iooked
down uL IIs Iunds, wIIcI were LrembIIng. "TIe onIv LroubIe wILI
umbILIon Is LIuL IL someLImes bIInds one Lo reuIILIes . . . TeII me, Iow
munv oI LIese IeLLers do vou Iuve?"
" Iud ubouL seven, sIr," repIIed, conIused bv IIs new Lurn.
"TIev're-"
"Seven!" He wus suddenIv ungrv.
"Yes, sIr, LIuL wus uII Ie guve me . . ."
"And Iow munv oI LIese genLIemen Iuve vou succeeded In seeIng,
muv usk?"
A sInkIng IeeIIng cume over me. " Iuven'L seen unv oI LIem
personuIIv, sIr."
"And LIIs Is vour IusL IeLLer?"
"Yes, sIr, IL Is, buL expecL Lo Ieur Irom LIe oLIers . . . TIev suId
-"
"OI course vou wIII, und Irom uII seven. TIev're uII IovuI
AmerIcuns."
TIere wus unmIsLukubIe Ironv In IIs voIce now, und dIdn'L know
wIuL Lo suv.
"Seven," Ie repeuLed mvsLerIousIv. "OI, don'L IeL me upseL vou,"
Ie suId wILI un eIegunL gesLure oI seII-dIsgusL. " Iud u dIIIIcuIL sessIon
wILI mv unuIvsL IusL evenIng und LIe sIIgILesL LIIng Is upL Lo seL me oII.
Ike un uIurm cIock wILIouL conLroI-Suv!" Ie suId, sIuppIng IIs puIm
uguInsL IIs LIIgIs. "WIuL on eurLI does LIuL meun?" SuddenIv Ie wus
In u sLuLe. One sIde oI IIs Iuce Iud begun Lo LwILcI und sweII.
wuLcIed IIm IIgIL u cIgureLLe, LIInkIng, WIuL on eurLI Is LIIs uII
ubouL?
"Some LIIngs ure jusL Loo unjusL Ior words," Ie suId, expeIIIng u
pIume oI smoke, "und Loo umbIguous Ior eILIer speecI or Ideus. Bv LIe
wuv, Iuve vou ever been Lo LIe CIub CuIumus?"
" don'L LIInk 've ever Ieurd oI IL, sIr," suId.
"You Iuven'L? L's verv weII known. Munv oI mv HurIem IrIends go
LIere. L's u rendezvous Ior wrILers, urLIsLs und uII kInds oI ceIebrILIes.
TIere's noLIIng IIke IL In LIe cILv, und bv some sLrunge LwIsL IL Ius u
LruIv conLInenLuI IIuvor."
"'ve never been Lo u nIgIL cIub, sIr. 'II Iuve Lo go LIere Lo see
wIuL IL's IIke uILer 've sLurLed eurnIng some monev," suId, IopIng Lo
brIng LIe conversuLIon buck Lo LIe probIem oI jobs.
He Iooked uL me wILI u jerk oI IIs Ieud, IIs Iuce begInnIng Lo
LwILcI uguIn.
" suppose 've been evudIng LIe Issue uguIn-us uIwuvs. ook," Ie
bursL ouL ImpuIsIveIv. "Do vou beIIeve LIuL Lwo peopIe, Lwo sLrungers
wIo Iuve never seen one unoLIer beIore cun speuk wILI uLLer Irunkness
und sIncerILv?"
"SIr?"
"OI, dumn! WIuL meun Is, do vou beIIeve IL possIbIe Ior us, LIe
Lwo oI us, Lo LIrow oII LIe musk oI cusLom und munners LIuL InsuIuLe
mun Irom mun, und converse In nuked IonesLv und Irunkness?"
" don'L know wIuL vou meun exucLIv, sIr." suId.
"Are vou sure?"
" . . ."
"OI course, oI course. I couId onIv speuk pIuInIv! 'm conIusIng
vou. SucI Irunkness jusL Isn'L possIbIe becuuse uII our moLIves ure
Impure. orgeL wIuL jusL suId. 'II Lrv Lo puL IL LIIs wuv-und
remember LIIs, pIeuse . . ."
Mv Ieud spun. He wus uddressIng me, IeunIng Iorwurd
conIIdenLIuIIv, us LIougI Ie'd known me Ior veurs, und remembered
someLIIng mv grundIuLIer Iud suId Iong ugo: Don'L IeL no wIILe mun
LeII vou IIs busIness, 'cuuse uILer Ie LeIIs vou Ie's IIubIe Lo gIL sIume Ie
LoIe IL Lo vou und LIen Ie'II IuLe vou. ucL Is, Ie wus IuLIng vou uII LIe
LIme. . .
". . . wunL Lo Lrv Lo reveuI u purL oI reuIILv LIuL Is mosL ImporLunL
Lo vou-buL wurn vou, IL's goIng Lo IurL. No, IeL me IInIsI," Ie suId,
LoucIIng mv knee IIgILIv und quIckIv removIng IIs Iund us sIIILed mv
posILIon.
"WIuL wunL Lo do Is done verv seIdom, und, Lo be IonesL, IL
wouIdn'L Iuppen now II Iudn'L susLuIned u serIes oI ImpossIbIe
IrusLruLIons. You see-weII, 'm LIwurLed . . . OI, dumn, LIere go
uguIn, LIInkIng onIv oI mvseII . . . We're boLI IrusLruLed, undersLund?
BoLI oI us, und wunL Lo IeIp vou . . ."
"You meun vou'II IeL me see Mr. Emerson?"
He Irowned. "PIeuse don'L seem so Iuppv ubouL IL, und don'L Ieup
Lo concIusIons. wunL Lo IeIp, buL LIere Is u Lvrunnv InvoIved . . ."
"A Lvrunnv?" Mv Iungs LIgILened.
"Yes. TIuL's u wuv oI puLLIng IL. Becuuse Lo IeIp vou musL
dIsIIIusIon vou . . ."
"OI, don'L LIInk mInd, sIr. Once see Mr. Emerson, IL'II be up
Lo me. AII wunL Lo do Is speuk Lo IIm."
"Speuk Lo IIm," Ie suId, geLLIng quIckIv Lo IIs IeeL und musIIng
IIs cIgureLLe InLo LIe Lruv wILI sIukIng IIngers. "No one speuks Lo IIm.
He does LIe speukIng -" SuddenIv Ie broke oII. "On second LIougIL,
perIups vou'd beLLer Ieuve me vour uddress und 'II muII vou Mr.
Emerson's repIv In LIe mornIng. He's reuIIv u verv busv mun."
HIs wIoIe munner Iud cIunged.
"BuL vou suId . . ." sLood up, compIeLeIv conIused. Wus Ie IuvIng
Iun wILI me? "CouIdn'L vou IeL me LuIk Lo IIm Ior jusL IIve mInuLes?"
pIeuded. "'m sure cun convInce IIm LIuL 'm worLIv oI u job. And II
LIere's someone wIo Ius Lumpered wILI mv IeLLer, 'II prove mv
IdenLILv . . . Dr. BIedsoe wouId -"
"denLILv! Mv God! WIo Ius unv IdenLILv unv more unvwuv? L
Isn'L so perIecLIv sImpIe. ook," Ie suId wILI un unguIsIed gesLure.
"WIII vou LrusL me?"
"WIv, ves, sIr, LrusL vou."
He Ieuned Iorwurd. "ook," Ie suId, IIs Iuce workIng vIoIenLIv, "
wus LrvIng Lo LeII vou LIuL know munv LIIngs ubouL vou-noL vou
personuIIv, buL IeIIows IIke vou. NoL mucI, eILIer, buL sLIII more LIun
LIe uveruge. WILI us IL's sLIII JIm und Huck Inn. A number oI mv
IrIends ure juzz musIcIuns, und 've been uround. know LIe condILIons
under wIIcI vou IIve-WIv go buck, IeIIow? TIere Is so mucI vou
couId do Iere wIere LIere Is more Ireedom. You won'L IInd wIuL vou're
IookIng Ior wIen vou reLurn unvwuv; becuuse so mucI Is InvoIved LIuL
vou cun'L possIbIv know. PIeuse don'L mIsundersLund me; don'L suv uII
LIIs Lo Impress vou. Or Lo gIve mvseII some kInd oI sudIsLIc cuLIursIs.
TruIv, don'L. BuL do know LIIs worId vou're LrvIng Lo conLucL-uII ILs
vIrLues und uII ILs unspeukubIes-Hu, ves, unspeukubIes. 'm uIruId mv
IuLIer consIders me one oI LIe unspeukubIes . . . 'm HuckIeberrv, vou
see . . ."
He IuugIed drIIv us LrIed Lo muke sense oI IIs rumbIIngs.
HuckIeberrv? WIv dId Ie keep LuIkIng ubouL LIuL kId's sLorv? wus
puzzIed und unnoved LIuL Ie couId LuIk Lo me LIIs wuv becuuse Ie
sLood beLween me und u job, LIe cumpus . . .
"BuL onIv wunL u job, sIr," suId. " onIv wunL Lo muke enougI
monev Lo reLurn Lo mv sLudIes."
"OI course, buL sureIv vou suspecL LIere Is more Lo IL LIun LIuL.
Aren'L vou curIous ubouL wIuL IIes beIInd LIe Iuce oI LIIngs?"
"Yes, sIr, buL 'm muInIv InLeresLed In u job."
"OI course," Ie suId, "buL IIIe Isn'L LIuL sImpIe . . ."
"BuL 'm noL boLIered ubouL uII LIe oLIer LIIngs, wIuLever LIev
ure, sIr. TIev're noL Ior me Lo InLerIere wILI und 'II be suLIsIIed Lo go
buck Lo coIIege und remuIn LIere us Iong us LIev'II uIIow me Lo."
"BuL wunL Lo IeIp vou do wIuL Is besL," Ie suId. "WIuL's besL,
mInd vou. Do vou wIsI Lo do wIuL's besL Ior vourseII?"
"WIv, ves, sIr. suppose do . . ."
"TIen IorgeL ubouL reLurnIng Lo LIe coIIege. Go somewIere eIse . .
."
"You meun Ieuve?"
"Yes, IorgeL IL . . ."
"BuL vou suId LIuL vou wouId IeIp me!"
" dId und um -"
"BuL wIuL ubouL seeIng Mr. Emerson?"
"OI, God! Don'L vou see LIuL IL's besL LIuL vou do noL see IIm?"
SuddenIv couId noL breuLIe. TIen wus sLundIng, grIppIng mv
brIeI cuse. "WIuL Iuve vou goL uguInsL me?" bIurLed. "WIuL dId ever
do Lo vou? You never InLended Lo IeL me see IIm. Even LIougI
presenLed mv IeLLer oI InLroducLIon. WIv? WIv? 'd never endunger
vour job -"
"No, no, no! OI course noL," Ie crIed, geLLIng Lo IIs IeeL. "You've
mIsundersLood me. You musLn'L do LIuL! God, LIere's Loo mucI
mIsundersLundIng. PIeuse don'L LIInk 'm LrvIng Lo prevenL vou Irom
seeIng mv-Irom seeIng Mr. Emerson ouL oI prejudIce . . ."
"Yes, sIr, do," suId ungrIIv. " wus senL Iere bv u IrIend oI IIs.
You reud LIe IeLLer, buL sLIII vou reIuse Lo IeL me see IIm, und now
vou're LrvIng Lo geL me Lo Ieuve coIIege. WIuL kInd oI mun ure vou,
unvwuv? WIuL Iuve vou goL uguInsL me? You, u norLIern wIILe mun!"
He Iooked puIned. "'ve done IL budIv," Ie suId, "buL vou musL
beIIeve LIuL um LrvIng Lo udvIse vou wIuL Is besL Ior vou." He snuLcIed
oII IIs gIusses.
"BuL know wIuL's besL Ior me," suId. "Or uL IeusL Dr. BIedsoe
does, und II cun'L see Mr. Emerson Loduv, jusL LeII me wIen cun und
'II be Iere . . ."
He bIL IIs IIps und sIuL IIs eves, sIukIng IIs Ieud Irom sIde Lo
sIde us LIougI IIgILIng buck u screum. "'m sorrv, reuIIv sorrv LIuL
sLurLed uII oI LIIs," Ie suId, suddenIv cuIm. "L wus IooIIsI oI me Lo Lrv
Lo udvIse vou, buL pIeuse, vou musLn'L beIIeve LIuL 'm uguInsL vou . . .
or vour ruce. 'm vour IrIend. Some oI LIe IInesL peopIe know ure Neg
-WeII, vou see, Mr. Emerson Is mv IuLIer."
"Your IuLIer!"
"Mv IuLIer, ves, LIougI wouId Iuve preIerred IL oLIerwIse. BuL
Ie Is, und couId urrunge Ior vou Lo see IIm. BuL Lo be uLLerIv Irunk,
'm IncupubIe oI sucI cvnIcIsm. L wouId do vou no good."
"BuL 'd IIke Lo Luke mv cIunces, Mr. Emerson, sIr . . . TIIs Is verv
ImporLunL Lo me. Mv wIoIe cureer depends upon IL."
"BuL vou Iuve no cIunce," Ie suId.
"BuL Dr. BIedsoe senL me Iere," suId, growIng more excILed. "
musL Iuve u cIunce . . ."
"Dr. BIedsoe," Ie suId wILI dIsLusLe. "He's IIke mv . . . Ie ougIL Lo
be IorsewIIpped! Here," Ie suId, sweepIng up LIe IeLLer und LIrusLIng
IL cruckIIng Lowurd me. Look IL, IookIng InLo IIs eves LIuL burned buck
uL me.
"Go on, reud IL," Ie crIed excILedIv. "Go on!"
"BuL wusn'L uskIng Ior LIIs," suId.
"Reud IL!"
Mv deur Mr. Emerson:
TIe beurer oI LIIs IeLLer Is u Iormer sLudenL oI ours ( suv Iormer
becuuse Ie sIuII never, under unv cIrcumsLunces, be enroIIed us u
sLudenL Iere uguIn) wIo Ius been expeIIed Ior u mosL serIous deIecLIon
Irom our sLrIcLesL ruIes oI deporLmenL.
Due, Iowever, Lo cIrcumsLunces LIe nuLure oI wIIcI sIuII expIuIn
Lo vou In person on LIe occusIon oI LIe nexL meeLIng oI LIe bourd, IL Is
Lo LIe besL InLeresLs oI LIe coIIege LIuL LIIs voung mun Iuve no
knowIedge oI LIe IInuIILv oI IIs expuIsIon. or IL Is Indeed IIs Iope Lo
reLurn Iere Lo IIs cIusses In LIe IuII. However, IL Is Lo LIe besL InLeresLs
oI LIe greuL work wIIcI we ure dedIcuLed Lo perIorm, LIuL Ie conLInue
undIsLurbed In LIese vuIn Iopes wIIIe remuInIng us Iur us possIbIe
Irom our mIdsL.
TIIs cuse represenLs, mv deur Mr. Emerson, one oI LIe rure,
deIIcuLe InsLunces In wIIcI one Ior wIom we IeId greuL expecLuLIons
Ius gone grIevousIv usLruv, und wIo In IIs IuII LIreuLens Lo upseL
cerLuIn deIIcuLe reIuLIonsIIps beLween cerLuIn InLeresLed IndIvIduuIs
und LIe scIooI. TIus, wIIIe LIe beurer Is no Ionger u member oI our
scIoIusLIc IumIIv, IL Is IIgIIv ImporLunL LIuL IIs severunce wILI LIe
coIIege be execuLed us puInIessIv us possIbIe. beg oI vou, sIr, Lo IeIp
IIm conLInue In LIe dIrecLIon oI LIuL promIse wIIcI, IIke LIe IorIzon,
recedes ever brIgILIv und dIsLunLIv bevond LIe IopeIuI LruveIer.
RespecLIuIIv, um vour IumbIe servunL,
A. HerberL BIedsoe
ruIsed mv Ieud. TwenLv-IIve veurs seemed Lo Iuve Iupsed
beLween IIs IundIng me LIe IeLLer und mv gruspIng ILs messuge. couId
noL beIIeve IL, LrIed Lo reud IL uguIn. couId noL beIIeve IL, veL Iud u
IeeIIng LIuL IL uII Iud Iuppened beIore. rubbed mv eves, und LIev IeIL
sundv us LIougI uII LIe IIuIds Iud suddenIv drIed.
"'m sorrv," Ie suId. "'m LerrIbIv sorrv."
"WIuL dId do? uIwuvs LrIed Lo do LIe rIgIL LIIng
"TIuL vou musL LeII me," Ie suId. "To wIuL does Ie reIer?"
" don'L know, don'L know . . ."
"BuL vou musL Iuve done someLIIng."
" Look u mun Ior u drIve, sIowed IIm InLo LIe GoIden Duv Lo IeIp
IIm wIen Ie becume III ... don'L know
LoId IIm IuILerIngIv oI LIe vIsIL Lo TruebIood's und LIe LrIp Lo LIe
GoIden Duv und oI mv expuIsIon, wuLcIIng IIs mobIIe Iuce reIIecLIng
IIs reucLIon Lo eucI deLuII.
"L's IILLIe enougI," Ie suId wIen Iud IInIsIed. " don'L
undersLund LIe mun. He Is verv compIIcuLed."
" onIv wunLed Lo reLurn und IeIp," suId.
"You'II never reLurn. You cun'L reLurn now," Ie suId. "Don'L vou
see? 'm LerrIbIv sorrv und veL 'm gIud LIuL guve In Lo LIe ImpuIse Lo
speuk Lo vou. orgeL IL; LIougI LIuL's udvIce wIIcI 've been unubIe Lo
uccepL mvseII, IL's sLIII good udvIce. TIere Is no poInL In bIIndIng
vourseII Lo LIe LruLI. Don'L bIInd vourseII . . ."
goL up, duzed, und sLurLed Lowurd LIe door. He cume beIInd me
InLo LIe recepLIon room wIere LIe bIrds IIumed In LIe cuge, LIeIr
squuwks IIke screums In u nIgILmure.
He sLummered guIILIIv, "PIeuse, musL usk vou never Lo menLIon
LIIs conversuLIon Lo unvone."
"No," suId.
" wouIdn'L mInd, buL mv IuLIer wouId consIder mv reveIuLIon LIe
mosL exLreme Lreuson . . . You're Iree oI IIm now. 'm sLIII IIs prIsoner.
You Iuve been Ireed, don'L vou undersLund? 've sLIII mv buLLIe." He
seemed neur Leurs.
" won'L," suId. "No one wouId beIIeve me. cun'L mvseII. TIere
musL be some mIsLuke. TIere musL be . . ."
opened LIe door.
"ook, IeIIow," Ie suId. "TIIs evenIng 'm IuvIng u purLv uL LIe
CuIumus. WouId vou IIke Lo joIn mv guesLs? L mIgIL IeIp vou -"
"No, LIunk vou, sIr. 'II be uII rIgIL."
"PerIups vou'd IIke Lo be mv vuIeL?"
Iooked uL IIm. "No, LIunk vou, sIr," suId.
"PIeuse," Ie suId. " reuIIv wunL Lo IeIp. ook, Iuppen Lo know oI
u possIbIe job uL IberLv PuInLs. Mv IuLIer Ius senL severuI IeIIows LIere
. . . You sIouId Lrv -"
sIuL LIe door.
TIe eIevuLor dropped me IIke u sIoL und wenL ouL und wuIked
uIong LIe sLreeL. TIe sun wus verv brIgIL now und LIe peopIe uIong LIe
wuIk seemed Iur uwuv. sLopped beIore u gruv wuII wIere IIgI ubove
me LIe IeudsLones oI u cIurcI gruvevurd urose IIke LIe Lops oI
buIIdIngs. Across LIe sLreeL In LIe sIude oI un uwnIng u sIoesIIne bov
wus duncIng Ior pennIes. wenL on Lo LIe corner und goL on u bus und
wenL uuLomuLIcuIIv Lo LIe reur. n LIe seuL In IronL oI me u durk mun In
u punumu IuL kepL wIIsLIIng u Lune beLween IIs LeeLI. Mv mInd, IIew In
cIrcIes, Lo BIedsoe, Emerson und buck uguIn. TIere wus no sense Lo be
mude oI IL. L wus u joke. HeII, IL couIdn'L be u joke. Yes, IL Is u joke . . .
SuddenIv LIe bus jerked Lo u sLop und Ieurd mvseII IummIng LIe
sume Lune LIuL LIe mun uIeud wus wIIsLIIng, und LIe words cume buck:
O weII LIev pIcked poor RobIn cIeun
O weII LIev pIcked poor RobIn cIeun
WeII LIev LIed poor RobIn Lo u sLump
uwd, LIev pIcked uII LIe IeuLIers round Irom RobIn's rump
WeII LIev pIcked poor RobIn cIeun.
TIen wus on mv IeeL, IurrvIng Lo LIe door, IeurIng LIe LIIn,
LIssue-puper-uguInsL-LIe-LeeLI-oI-u-comb wIIsLIe IoIIowIng me ouLsIde
uL LIe nexL sLop. sLood LrembIIng uL LIe curb, wuLcIIng und IuII
expecLIng Lo see LIe mun Ieup Irom LIe door Lo IoIIow me, wIIsLIIng LIe
oId IorgoLLen jIngIe ubouL u bure-rumped robIn. Mv mInd seIzed upon
LIe Lune. Look LIe subwuv und IL sLIII droned LIrougI mv mInd uILer
Iud reucIed mv room uL Men's House und Iuv ucross LIe bed. WIuL wus
LIe wIo-wIuL-wIen-wIv-wIere oI poor oId RobIn? WIuL Iud Ie done
und wIo Iud LIed IIm und wIv Iud LIev pIucked IIm und wIv Iud we
sung oI IIs IuLe? L wus Ior u IuugI, Ior u IuugI, uII LIe kIds Iud IuugIed
und IuugIed, und LIe droII Lubu pIuver oI LIe oId EIk's bund Iud
rendered IL soIo on IIs IeIIcuI Iorn; wILI comIcuI IIourIsIes und doIeIuI
pIrusIng, "Boo boo boo booooo, Poor RobIn cIeun"-u mock IuneruI
dIrge . . . BuL wIo wus RobIn und Ior wIuL Iud Ie been IurL und
IumIIIuLed?
SuddenIv Iuv sIukIng wILI unger. L wus no good. LIougIL oI
voung Emerson. WIuL II Ie'd IIed ouL oI some uILerIor moLIve oI IIs
own? Evervone seemed Lo Iuve some pIun Ior me, und beneuLI LIuL
some more secreL pIun. WIuL wus voung Emerson's pIun-und wIv
sIouId IL Iuve IncIuded me? WIo wus unvwuv? Lossed IILIuIIv.
PerIups IL wus u LesL oI mv good wIII und IuILI-BuL LIuL's u IIe,
LIougIL. L's u IIe und vou know IL's u IIe. Iud seen LIe IeLLer und IL Iud
prucLIcuIIv ordered me kIIIed. Bv sIow degrees . . .
"Mv deur Mr. Emerson," suId uIoud. "TIe RobIn beurIng LIIs
IeLLer Is u Iormer sLudenL. PIeuse Iope IIm Lo deuLI, und keep IIm
runnIng. Your mosL IumbIe und obedIenL servunL, A. H. BIedsoe . . ."
Sure, LIuL's LIe wuv IL wus, LIougIL, u sIorL, concIse verbuI coup
de gruce, sLruIgIL Lo LIe nupe oI LIe neck. And Emerson wouId wrILe In
repIv? Sure: "Deur BIed, Iuve meL RobIn und sIuved LuII. SIgned,
Emerson."
suL on LIe bed und IuugIed. TIev'd senL me Lo LIe rookerv, uII
rIgIL. IuugIed und IeIL numb und weuk, knowIng LIuL soon LIe puIn
wouId come und LIuL no muLLer wIuL Iuppened Lo me 'd never be LIe
sume. IeIL numb und wus IuugIIng. WIen sLopped, guspIng Ior
breuLI, decIded LIuL wouId go buck und kIII BIedsoe. Yes, LIougIL,
owe IL Lo LIe ruce und Lo mvseII. 'II kIII IIm.
And LIe boIdness oI LIe Ideu und LIe unger beIInd IL mude me
move wILI decIsIon. Iud Lo Iuve u job und Look wIuL Ioped wus LIe
quIckesL meuns. cuIIed LIe pIunL voung Emerson Iud menLIoned, und
IL worked. wus LoId Lo reporL LIe IoIIowIng mornIng. L Iuppened so
quIckIv und wILI sucI euse LIuL Ior u momenL IeIL Lurned uround. Hud
LIev pIunned IL LIIs wuv? BuL no, LIev wouIdn'L cuLcI me uguIn. TIIs
LIme Iud mude LIe move.
couId IurdIv geL Lo sIeep Ior dreumIng oI revenge.
CIupLer 1o
TIe pIunL wus In ong sIund, und crossed u brIdge In LIe Iog Lo
geL LIere und cume down In u sLreum oI workers. AIeud oI me u Iuge
eIecLrIc sIgn unnounced ILs messuge LIrougI LIe drIILIng sLrunds oI Iog:
KEEP AMERCA PURE
WTH
BERTY PANTS
Iugs were IIuLLerIng In LIe breeze Irom eucI oI u muze oI
buIIdIngs beIow LIe sIgn, und Ior u momenL IL wus IIke wuLcIIng some
vusL puLrIoLIc ceremonv Irom u dIsLunce. BuL no sIoLs were IIred und no
bugIes sounded. IurrIed uIeud wILI LIe oLIers LIrougI LIe Iog.
wus worrIed, sInce Iud used Emerson's nume wILIouL IIs
permIssIon, buL wIen Iound mv wuv Lo LIe personneI oIIIce IL worked
IIke mugIc. wus InLervIewed bv u IILLIe droopv-eved mun numed Mr.
MucDuIIv und senL Lo work Ior u Mr. KImbro. An oIIIce bov cume uIong
Lo dIrecL me.
"I KImbro needs IIm," MucDuIIv LoId LIe bov, "come buck und
Iuve IIs nume enLered on LIe sIIppIng depurLmenL's puvroII."
"L's Lremendous," suId us we IeIL LIe buIIdIng. "L Iooks IIke u
smuII cILv."
"L's bIg uII rIgIL," Ie suId. "We're one oI LIe bIggesL ouLIILs In LIe
busIness. Muke u IoL oI puInL Ior LIe governmenL."
We enLered one oI LIe buIIdIngs now und sLurLed down u pure
wIILe IuII.
"You beLLer Ieuve vour LIIngs In LIe Iocker room," Ie suId, openIng
u door LIrougI wIIcI suw u room wILI Iow wooden bencIes und rows
oI green Iockers. TIere were kevs In severuI oI LIe Iocks, und Ie
seIecLed one Ior me. "PuL vour sLuII In LIere und Luke LIe kev," Ie suId.
DressIng, IeIL nervous. He spruwIed wILI one IooL on u bencI,
wuLcIIng me cIoseIv us Ie cIewed on u muLcI sLem. DId Ie suspecL LIuL
Emerson Iudn'L senL me?
"TIev Iuve u new ruckeL uround Iere," Ie suId, LwIrIIng LIe muLcI
beLween IIs IInger und LIumb. TIere wus u noLe oI InsInuuLIon In IIs
voIce, und Iooked up Irom LvIng mv sIoe, breuLIIng wILI conscIous
evenness.
"WIuL kInd oI ruckeL?" suId.
"OI, vou know. TIe wIse guvs IIrIng LIe reguIur guvs und puLLIng
on vou coIored coIIege bovs. PreLLv smurL," Ie suId. "TIuL wuv LIev
don'L Iuve Lo puv unIon wuges."
"How dId vou know wenL Lo coIIege?" suId.
"OI, LIere're ubouL sIx oI vou guvs ouL Iere uIreudv. Some up In
LIe LesLIng Iub. Evervbodv knows ubouL LIuL."
"BuL Iud no Ideu LIuL wus wIv wus IIred," suId.
"orgeL IL, Muc," Ie suId. "L's noL vour IuuIL. You new guvs don'L
know LIe score. JusL IIke LIe unIon suvs, IL's LIe wIse guvs In LIe oIIIce.
TIev're LIe ones wIo muke scubs ouL oI vou-Hev! we beLLer Iurrv."
We enLered u Iong, sIed-IIke room In wIIcI suw u serIes oI
overIeud doors uIong one sIde und u row oI smuII oIIIces on LIe oLIer.
IoIIowed LIe bov down un uIsIe beLween endIess cuns, buckeLs und
drums IubeIed wILI LIe compunv's Lrudemurk, u screumIng eugIe. TIe
puInL wus sLucked In neuLIv pvrumIded IoLs uIong LIe concreLe IIoor.
TIen, sLurLIng InLo one oI LIe oIIIces, LIe bov sLopped sIorL und
grInned.
"IsLen Lo LIuL!"
Someone InsIde LIe oIIIce wus sweurIng vIoIenLIv over u LeIepIone.
"WIo's LIuL?" usked.
He grInned. "Your boss, LIe LerrIbIe Mr. KImbro. We cuII IIm
'CoIoneI,' buL don'L IeL IIm cuLcI vou."
dIdn'L IIke IL. TIe voIce wus ruvIng ubouL some IuIIure oI LIe
IuboruLorv und IeIL u swIIL uneusIness. dIdn'L IIke LIe Ideu oI sLurLIng
Lo work Ior u mun wIo wus In sucI u nusLv mood. PerIups Ie wus ungrv
uL one oI LIe men Irom LIe scIooI, und LIuL wouIdn'L muke IIm IeeI Loo
IrIendIv Lowurd me.
"eL's go In," LIe bov suId. "'ve goL Lo geL buck."
As we enLered, LIe mun sIummed down LIe pIone und pIcked up
some pupers.
"Mr. MucDuIIv wunLs Lo know II vou cun use LIIs new mun," LIe
bov suId.
"You dumn rIgIL cun use IIm und . . ." LIe voIce LruIIed oII, LIe
eves ubove LIe sLIII mIIILurv musLucIe goIng Iurd.
"WeII, cun vou use IIm?" LIe bov suId. " goL Lo go muke ouL IIs
curd."
"Okuv," LIe mun suId IInuIIv. " cun use IIm. goLLu. WIuL's IIs
nume?"
TIe bov reud mv nume oII u curd.
"AII rIgIL," Ie suId, "vou go rIgIL Lo work. And vou," Ie suId Lo LIe
bov, "geL LIe IeII ouL oI Iere beIore gIve vou u cIunce Lo eurn some oI
LIe monev wusLed on vou everv puvduv!"
"Aw, gwun, vou sIuve drIver," LIe bov suId, dusIIng Irom LIe room.
ReddenIng, KImbro Lurned Lo me, "Come uIong, IeL's geL goIng."
IoIIowed IIm InLo LIe Iong room wIere LIe IoLs oI puInL were
sLucked uIong LIe IIoor beneuLI numbered murkers LIuL Iung Irom LIe
ceIIIng. Towurd LIe reur couId see Lwo men unIoudIng Ieuvv buckeLs
Irom u Lruck, sLuckIng LIem neuLIv on u Iow IoudIng pIuLIorm.
"Now geL LIIs sLruIgIL," KImbro suId gruIIIv. "TIIs Is u busv
depurLmenL und don'L Iuve LIme Lo repeuL LIIngs. You Iuve Lo IoIIow
InsLrucLIons und vou're goIng Lo be doIng LIIngs vou don'L undersLund,
so geL vour orders LIe IIrsL LIme und geL LIem rIgIL! won'L Iuve LIme
Lo sLop und expIuIn evervLIIng. You Iuve Lo cuLcI on bv doIng exucLIv
wIuL LeII vou. You goL LIuL?"
nodded, noLIng LIuL IIs voIce becume Iouder wIen LIe men
ucross LIe IIoor sLopped Lo IIsLen.
"AII rIgIL," Ie suId, pIckIng up severuI LooIs. "Now come over
Iere."
"He's KImbro," one oI LIe men suId.
wuLcIed IIm kneeI und open one oI LIe buckeLs, sLIrrIng u mIIkv
brown subsLunce. A nuuseuLIng sLencI urose. wunLed Lo sLep uwuv.
BuL Ie sLIrred IL vIgorousIv unLII IL becume gIossv wIILe, IoIdIng LIe
spuLuIu IIke u deIIcuLe InsLrumenL und sLudvIng LIe puInL us IL Iuced oII
LIe bIude, buck InLo LIe buckeL. KImbro Irowned.
"Dumn LIose IuboruLorv bIubberIeuds Lo IeII! TIere's goL Lo be
dope puL In everv sIngIe sonoIubILcIIng buckeL. And LIuL's wIuL vou're
goIng Lo do, und IL's goL Lo be puL In so IL cun be Lrucked ouL oI Iere
beIore 11:o." He Iunded me u wIILe enumeI gruduuLe und wIuL Iooked
IIke u buLLerv IvdromeLer.
"TIe Ideu Is Lo open eucI buckeL und puL In Len drops oI LIIs
sLuII," Ie suId. "TIen vou sLIr IL 'LII IL dIsuppeurs. AILer IL's mIxed vou
Luke LIIs brusI und puInL ouL u sumpIe on one oI LIese." He produced u
number oI smuII recLunguIur bourds und u smuII brusI Irom IIs juckeL
pockeL. "You undersLund?"
"Yes, sIr." BuL wIen Iooked InLo LIe wIILe gruduuLe IesILuLed;
LIe IIquId InsIde wus deud bIuck. Wus Ie LrvIng Lo kId me?
"WIuL's wrong?"
" don'L know, sIr . . . meun. WeII, don'L wunL Lo sLurL bv uskIng
u IoL oI sLupId quesLIons, buL do vou know wIuL's In LIIs gruduuLe?"
HIs eves snupped. "You dumn rIgIL know," Ie suId. "You jusL do
wIuL vou're LoId!"
" jusL wunLed Lo muke sure, sIr," suId.
"ook," Ie suId, druwIng In IIs breuLI wILI un exuggeruLed sIow
oI puLIence. "Tuke LIe dropper und IIII IL IuII . . . Go on, do IL!"
IIIIed IL.
"Now meusure Len drops InLo LIe puInL . . . TIere, LIuL's IL, noL Loo
goddum IusL. Now. You wunL no more LIun Len, und no Iess."
SIowIv, meusured LIe gIIsLenIng bIuck drops, seeIng LIem seLLIe
upon LIe surIuce und become bIucker sLIII, spreudIng suddenIv ouL Lo
LIe edges.
"TIuL's IL. TIuL's uII vou Iuve Lo do," Ie suId. "Never mInd Iow IL
Iooks. TIuL's mv worrv. You jusL do wIuL vou're LoId und don'L Lrv Lo
LIInk ubouL IL. WIen vou've done IIve or sIx buckeLs, come buck und see
II LIe sumpIes ure drv . . . And Iurrv, we've goL Lo geL LIIs buLcI buck oII
Lo WusIIngLon bv 11:o . . ."
worked IusL buL cureIuIIv. WILI u mun IIke LIIs KImbro LIe IeusL
LIIng done IncorrecLIv wouId cuuse LroubIe. So wusn'L supposed Lo
LIInk! To IeII wILI IIm. JusL u IIunkev, u norLIern redneck, u Yunkee
crucker! mIxed LIe puInL LIorougIIv, LIen brusIed IL smooLIIv on one
oI LIe pIeces oI bourd, cureIuI LIuL LIe brusI sLrokes were unIIorm.
SLruggIIng Lo remove un especIuIIv dIIIIcuIL cover, wondered II
LIe sume IberLv puInL wus used on LIe cumpus, or II LIIs "OpLIc WIILe"
wus someLIIng mude excIusIveIv Ior LIe governmenL. PerIups IL wus oI
u beLLer quuIILv, u specIuI mIx. And In mv mInd couId see LIe brIgILIv
LrImmed und IresIIv decoruLed cumpus buIIdIngs us LIev uppeured on
sprIng mornIngs-uILer LIe IuII puInLIng und LIe IIgIL wInLer snows,
wILI u cIoud rIdIng over und u durLIng bIrd ubove-Irumed bv LIe Lrees
und encIrcIIng vInes. TIe buIIdIngs Iud uIwuvs seemed more
ImpressIve becuuse LIev were LIe onIv buIIdIngs Lo receIve reguIur
puInLIngs; usuuIIv, LIe neurbv Iouses und cubIns were IeIL unLoucIed Lo
become LIe duII gruIned gruv oI weuLIered wood. And remembered
Iow LIe spIInLers In some oI LIe bourds were ruIsed Irom LIe gruIn bv
LIe wInd, LIe sun und LIe ruIn unLII LIe cIupbourds sIone wILI u suLInv,
sIIverv, sIIver-IIsI sIeen. Ike TruebIood's cubIn, or LIe GoIden Duv . . .
TIe GoIden Duv Iud once been puInLed wIILe; now ILs puInL wus IIukIng
uwuv wILI LIe veurs, LIe scruLcI oI u IInger beIng enougI Lo send IL
sIowerIng down. Dumn LIuL GoIden Duv! BuL IL wus sLrunge Iow IIIe
connecLed up; becuuse Iud currIed Mr. NorLon Lo LIe oId rundown
buIIdIng wILI roLLIng puInL, wus Iere. I, LIougIL, one couId sIow
down IIs IeurLbeuLs und memorv Lo LIe Lempo oI LIe bIuck drops
IuIIIng so sIowIv InLo LIe buckeL veL reucLIng so swIILIv, IL wouId seem
IIke u sequence In u IeverIsI dreum . . . wus so deep In reverIe LIuL
IuIIed Lo Ieur KImbro upproucI.
"How's IL comIng?" Ie suId, sLundIng wILI Iunds on IIps.
"AII rIgIL, sIr."
"eL's see," Ie suId, seIecLIng u sumpIe und runnIng IIs LIumb
ucross LIe bourd. "TIuL's IL, us wIILe us George WusIIngLon's Sunduv-
go-Lo-meeLIn' wIg und us sound us LIe uII-mIgILv doIIur! TIuL's puInL!"
Ie suId proudIv. "TIuL's puInL LIuL'II cover jusL ubouL unvLIIng!"
He Iooked us LIougI Iud expressed u doubL und IurrIed Lo suv,
"L's cerLuInIv wIILe uII rIgIL."
"WIILe! L's LIe puresL wIILe LIuL cun be Iound. Nobodv mukes u
puInL unv wIILer. TIIs buLcI rIgIL Iere Is IeudIng Ior u nuLIonuI
monumenL!"
" see," suId, quILe Impressed.
He Iooked uL IIs wuLcI. "JusL keep IL up," Ie suId. "I don'L Iurrv
'II be IuLe Ior LIuL producLIon conIerence! Suv, vou're neurIv ouL oI
dope: vou'd beLLer go In LIe Lunk room und reIIII IL . . . And don'L wusLe
unv LIme! 've goL Lo go."
He sIoL uwuv wILIouL LeIIIng me wIere LIe Lunk room wus. L wus
eusv Lo IInd, buL wusn'L prepured Ior so munv Lunks. TIere were
seven; eucI wILI u puzzIIng code sLencIIed on IL. L's jusL IIke KImbro
noL Lo LeII me, LIougIL. You cun'L LrusL unv oI LIem. WeII, IL doesn'L
muLLer, 'II pIck LIe Lunk Irom LIe conLenLs oI LIe drIp cuns IungIng
Irom LIe spIgoLs.
BuL wIIIe LIe IIrsL IIve Lunks conLuIned cIeur IIquIds LIuL smeIIed
IIke LurpenLIne, LIe IusL Lwo boLI conLuIned someLIIng bIuck IIke LIe
dope, buL wILI dIIIerenL codes. So Iud Lo muke u cIoIce. SeIecLIng LIe
Lunk wILI LIe drIp cun LIuL smeIIed mosL IIke LIe dope, IIIIed LIe
gruduuLe, congruLuIuLIng mvseII Ior noL IuvIng Lo wusLe LIme unLII
KImbro reLurned.
TIe work wenL IusLer now, LIe mIxIng eusIer. TIe pIgmenL und
Ieuvv oIIs cume Iree oI LIe boLLom mucI quIcker, und wIen KImbro
reLurned wus goIng uL Lop speed. "How munv Iuve vou IInIsIed?" Ie
usked.
"AbouL sevenLv-IIve, LIInk, sIr. IosL counL."
"TIuL's preLLv good, buL noL IusL enougI. TIev've been puLLIng
pressure on me Lo geL LIe sLuII ouL. Here, 'II gIve vou u Iund."
TIev musL Iuve gIven IIm IeII, LIougIL, us Ie goL grunLIng Lo IIs
knees und begun removIng covers Irom LIe buckeLs. BuL Ie Iud IurdIv
sLurLed wIen Ie wus cuIIed uwuv.
WIen Ie IeIL Look u Iook uL LIe IusL buncI oI sumpIes und goL u
sIock: nsLeud oI LIe smooLI, Iurd surIuce oI LIe IIrsL, LIev were
covered wILI u sLIckv goo LIrougI wIIcI couId see LIe gruIn oI LIe
wood. WIuL on eurLI Iud Iuppened? TIe puInL wus noL us wIILe und
gIossv us beIore; IL Iud u gruv LInge. sLIrred IL vIgorousIv, LIen
grubbed u rug, wIpIng eucI oI LIe bourds cIeun, LIen mude u new
sumpIe oI eucI buckeL. grew punIckv IesL KImbro reLurn beIore
IInIsIed. WorkIng IeverIsIIv, mude IL, buL sInce LIe puInL requIred u
Iew mInuLes Lo drv pIcked up Lwo IInIsIed buckeLs und sLurLed IuggIng
LIem over Lo LIe IoudIng pIuLIorm. dropped LIem wILI u LIump us LIe
voIce rung ouL beIInd me. L wus KImbro.
"WIuL LIe IeII!" Ie veIIed, smeurIng IIs IInger over one oI LIe
sumpIes. "TIIs sLuII's sLIII weL!"
dIdn'L know wIuL Lo suv. He snuLcIed up severuI oI LIe IuLer
sumpIes, smeurIng LIem, und IeLLIng ouL u groun. "OI uII LIe LIIngs Lo
Iuppen Lo me. IrsL LIev Luke uII mv good men und LIen LIev send me
vou. WIuL'd vou do Lo IL?"
"NoLIIng, sIr. IoIIowed vour dIrecLIons," suId deIensIveIv.
wuLcIed IIm peer InLo LIe gruduuLe, IIILIng LIe dropper und
snIIIIng IL, IIs Iuce gIowIng wILI exusperuLIon.
"WIo LIe IeII guve vou LIIs?"
"No one . . ."
"TIen wIere'd vou geL IL?"
"rom LIe Lunk room."
SuddenIv Ie dusIed Ior LIe Lunk room, sIosIIng LIe IIquId us Ie
run. LIougIL, OI, IeII, und beIore couId IoIIow, Ie bursL ouL oI LIe
door In u Irenzv.
"You Look LIe wrong Lunk," Ie sIouLed. "WIuL LIe IeII, vou LrvIng
Lo suboLuge LIe compunv? TIuL sLuII wouIdn'L work In u mIIIIon veurs.
L's remover, concenLruLed remover! Don'L vou know LIe dIIIerence?"
"No, sIr, don'L. L Iooked LIe sume Lo me. dIdn'L know wIuL
wus usIng und vou dIdn'L LeII me. wus LrvIng Lo suve LIme und Look
wIuL LIougIL wus rIgIL."
"BuL wIv LIIs one?"
"Becuuse IL smeIIed LIe sume -" begun.
"SmeILed!" Ie roured. "GoddumIL, don'L vou know vou cun'L smeII
sIIL uround uII LIose Iumes? Come on Lo mv oIIIce!"
wus Lorn beLween proLesLIng und pIeudIng Ior IuIrness. L wus noL
uII mv IuuIL und dIdn'L wunL LIe bIume, buL dId wIsI Lo IInIsI ouL LIe
duv. TIrobbIng wILI unger IoIIowed, IIsLenIng us Ie cuIIed personneI.
"HeIIo? Muc? Muc, LIIs Is KImbro. L's ubouL LIIs IeIIow vou senL
me LIIs mornIng. 'm sendIng IIm In Lo pIck up IIs puv . . . WIuL dId Ie
do? He doesn'L suLIsIv me, LIuL's wIuL. don'L IIke IIs work . . . So LIe
oId mun Ius Lo Iuve u reporL, so wIuL? Muke IIm one. TeII IIm
goddumIL LIIs IeIIow ruIned u buLcI oI governmenL sLuII-Hev! No,
don'L LeII IIm LIuL . . . IsLen, Muc, vou goL unvone eIse ouL LIere? . . .
Okuv, IorgeL IL."
He crusIed down LIe pIone und swung Lowurd me. " sweur
don'L know wIv LIev IIre vou IeIIows. You jusL don'L beIong In u puInL
pIunL. Come on."
BewIIdered, IoIIowed IIm InLo LIe Lunk room, veurnIng Lo quIL
und LeII IIm Lo go Lo IeII. BuL needed LIe monev, und even LIougI LIIs
wus LIe NorLI wusn'L reudv Lo IIgIL unIess Iud Lo. Here 'd be one
uguInsL Iow munv?
wuLcIed IIm empLv LIe gruduuLe buck InLo LIe Lunk und noLed
cureIuIIv wIen Ie wenL Lo unoLIer murked SKA--6-T-Y und reIIIIed
IL. NexL LIme wouId know.
"Now, Ior God's suke," Ie suId, IundIng me LIe gruduuLe, "be
cureIuI und Lrv Lo do LIe job rIgIL. And II vou don'L know wIuL Lo do,
usk somebodv. 'II be In mv oIIIce."
reLurned Lo LIe buckeLs, mv emoLIons wIIrIIng. KImbro Iud
IorgoLLen Lo suv wIuL wus Lo be done wILI LIe spoIIed puInL. SeeIng IL
LIere wus suddenIv seIzed bv un ungrv ImpuIse, und, IIIIIng LIe
dropper wILI IresI dope, sLIrred Len drops InLo eucI buckeL und
pressed Iome LIe covers. eL LIe governmenL worrv ubouL LIuL,
LIougIL, und sLurLed Lo work on LIe unopened buckeLs. sLIrred unLII
mv urm ucIed und puInLed LIe sumpIes us smooLIIv us couId,
becomIng more skIIIIuI us wenL uIong.
WIen KImbro cume down LIe IIoor und wuLcIed gIunced up
sIIenLIv und conLInued sLIrrIng.
"How Is IL?" Ie suId, IrownIng.
" don'L know," suId, pIckIng up u sumpIe und IesILuLIng.
"WeII?"
"L's noLIIng . . . u speck oI dIrL," suId, sLundIng und IoIdIng ouL
LIe sumpIe, u LIgILness growIng wILIIn me.
HoIdIng IL cIose Lo IIs Iuce, Ie run IIs IIngers over LIe surIuce und
squInLed uL LIe LexLure. "TIuL's more IIke IL," Ie suId. "TIuL's LIe wuv IL
ougILu be."
wuLcIed wILI u sense oI unbeIIeI us Ie rubbed IIs LIumb over
LIe sumpIe, Iunded IL buck und IeIL wILIouL u IurLIer word.
Iooked uL LIe puInLed sIub. L uppeured LIe sume: u gruv LInge
gIowed LIrougI LIe wIILeness, und KImbro Iud IuIIed Lo deLecL IL.
sLured Ior ubouL u mInuLe, wonderIng II were seeIng LIIngs, InspecLed
unoLIer und unoLIer. AII were LIe sume, u brIIIIunL wIILe dIIIused wILI
gruv, cIosed mv eves Ior u momenL und Iooked uguIn und sLIII no
cIunge. WeII, LIougIL, us Iong us Ie's suLIsIIed . . .
BuL Iud u IeeIIng LIuL someLIIng Iud gone wrong, someLIIng Iur
more ImporLunL LIun LIe puInL; LIuL eILIer Iud pIuved u LrIck on
KImbro or Ie, IIke LIe LrusLees und BIedsoe, wus pIuvIng one on me . . .
WIen LIe Lruck bucked up Lo LIe pIuLIorm wus pressIng LIe cover
on LIe IusL buckeL-und LIere sLood KImbro ubove me.
"eL's see vour sumpIes," Ie suId.
reucIed, LrvIng Lo seIecL LIe wIILesL, us LIe bIue-sIIrLed
Lruckmen cIImbed LIrougI LIe IoudIng door.
"How ubouL IL, KImbro," one oI LIem suId, "cun we geL sLurLed?"
"JusL u mInuLe, now," Ie suId, sLudvIng LIe sumpIe, "jusL u mInuLe
. . ."
wuLcIed IIm nervousIv, wuILIng Ior IIm Lo LIrow u IIL over LIe
gruv LInge und IuLIng mvseII Ior IeeIIng nervous und uIruId. WIuL
wouId suv? BuL now Ie wus LurnIng Lo LIe Lruckmen.
"AII rIgIL, bovs, geL LIe IeII ouL oI Iere.
"And vou," Ie suId Lo me, "go see MucDuIIv; vou're LIrougI."
sLood LIere, sLurIng uL LIe buck oI IIs Ieud, uL LIe pInk neck
beneuLI LIe cIoLI cup und LIe Iron-gruv IuIr. So Ie'd IeL me sLuv onIv Lo
IInIsI LIe mIxIng. Lurned uwuv, LIere wus noLIIng LIuL couId do.
cursed IIm uII LIe wuv Lo LIe personneI oIIIce. SIouId wrILe LIe
owners ubouL wIuL Iud Iuppened? PerIups LIev dIdn'L know LIuL
KImbro wus IuvIng so mucI Lo do wILI LIe quuIILv oI LIe puInL. BuL
upon reucIIng LIe oIIIce cIunged mv mInd. PerIups LIuL Is Iow
LIIngs ure done Iere, LIougIL, perIups LIe reuI quuIILv oI LIe puInL Is
uIwuvs deLermIned bv LIe mun wIo sIIps IL ruLIer LIun bv LIose wIo
mIx IL. To IeII wILI LIe wIoIe LIIng . . . 'II IInd unoLIer job.
BuL wusn'L IIred. MucDuIIv senL me Lo LIe busemenL oI BuIIdIng
No. z on u new ussIgnmenL.
"WIen vou geL down LIere jusL LeII Brockwuv LIuL Mr. SpurIund
InsIsLs LIuL Ie Iuve un ussIsLunL. You do wIuLever Ie LeIIs vou."
"WIuL Is LIuL nume uguIn, sIr?" suId.
"ucIus Brockwuv," Ie suId. "He's In cIurge."
T WAS u deep busemenL. TIree IeveIs underground pusIed
upon u Ieuvv meLuI door murked "Dunger" und descended InLo u noIsv,
dImIv IIL room. TIere wus someLIIng IumIIIur ubouL LIe Iumes LIuL
IIIIed LIe uIr und Iud jusL LIougIL pIne, wIen u IIgI-pILcIed Negro
voIce rung ouL ubove LIe mucIIne sounds.
"WIo vou IookIng Ior down Iere?"
"'m IookIng Ior LIe mun In cIurge," cuIIed, sLruInIng Lo IocuLe
LIe voIce.
"You LuIkIn' Lo IIm. WIuL vou wunL?"
TIe mun wIo moved ouL oI LIe sIudow und Iooked uL me suIIenIv
wus smuII, wIrv und verv nuLLv In IIs dIrLv overuIIs. And us
upproucIed IIm suw IIs druwn Iuce und LIe coLLonv wIILe IuIr
sIowIng beneuLI IIs LIgIL, sLrIped engIneer's cup. HIs munner puzzIed
me. couIdn'L LeII wIeLIer Ie IeIL guIILv ubouL someLIIng IImseII, or
LIougIL Iud commILLed some crIme. cume cIoser, sLurIng. He wus
bureIv IIve IeeL LuII, IIs overuIIs IookIng now us LIougI Ie Iud been
dIpped In pILcI.
"AII rIgIL," Ie suId. "'m u busv mun. WIuL vou wunL?"
"'m IookIng Ior ucIus," suId.
He Irowned. "TIuL's me-und don'L come cuIIIng me bv mv IIrsL
nume. To vou und uII IIke vou 'm MIsLer Brockwuv . . ."
"You . . . ?" begun.
"YeuI, me! WIo senL vou down Iere unvwuv?"
"TIe personneI oIIIce," suId. " wus LoId Lo LeII vou LIuL Mr.
SpurIund suId Ior vou Lo be gIven un ussIsLunL."
"AssIsLunL!" Ie suId. " don'L need no dumn ussIsLunL! OId Mun
SpurIund musL LIInk 'm geLLIng oId us IIm. Here been runnIng LIIngs
bv mvseII uII LIese veurs und now LIev keep LrvIng Lo send me some
ussIsLunL. You geL on buck up LIere und LeII 'em LIuL wIen wunL un
ussIsLunL 'II usk Ior one!"
wus so dIsgusLed Lo IInd sucI u mun In cIurge LIuL Lurned
wILIouL u word und sLurLed buck up LIe sLuIrs. IrsL KImbro, LIougIL,
und now LIIs oId . . .
"Hev! wuIL u mInuLe!"
Lurned, seeIng IIm beckon.
"Come on buck Iere u mInuLe," Ie cuIIed, IIs voIce cuLLIng sIurpIv
LIrougI LIe rour oI LIe Iurnuces.
wenL buck, seeIng IIm remove u wIILe cIoLI Irom IIs IIp pockeL
und wIpe LIe gIuss Iuce oI u pressure guuge, LIen bend cIose Lo squInL uL
LIe posILIon oI LIe needIe.
"Here," Ie suId, sLruIgILenIng und IundIng me LIe cIoLI, "vou cun
sLuv 'LII cun geL In LoucI wILI LIe OId Mun. TIese Iere Iuve Lo be kepL
cIeun so's cun see Iow mucI pressure 'm geLLIng."
Look LIe cIoLI wILIouL u word und begun rubbIng LIe gIusses. He
wuLcIed me crILIcuIIv.
"WIuL's vour nume?" Ie suId.
LoId IIm, sIouLIng IL In LIe rour oI LIe Iurnuces.
"WuIL u mInuLe," Ie cuIIed, goIng over und LurnIng u vuIve In un
InLrIcuLe neLwork oI pIpes. Ieurd LIe noIse rIse Lo u IIgIer, uImosL
IvsLerIcuI pILcI, someIow mukIng IL possIbIe Lo Ieur wILIouL veIIIng,
our voIces movIng bIurrIIv underneuLI.
ReLurnIng, Ie Iooked uL me sIurpIv, IIs wILIered Iuce un unImuLed
bIuck wuInuL wILI sIrewd, reddIsI eves.
"TIIs Iere's LIe IIrsL LIme LIev ever senL me unvbodv IIke vou," Ie
suId us LIougI puzzIed. "TIuL's Iow come cuIIed vou buck. UsuuIIv
LIev sends down some voung wIILe IeIIow wIo LIInks Ie's goIng Lo
wuLcI me u Iew duvs und usk me u Ieup oI quesLIons und LIen Luke
over. Some IoIks Is Loo dumn sImpIe Lo even LuIk ubouL," Ie suId,
grImucIng und wuvIng IIs Iund In u vIoIenL gesLure oI dIsmIssuI. "You
un engIneer?" Ie suId, IookIng quIckIv uL me.
"An engIneer?"
"YeuI, LIuL's wIuL usked vou," Ie suId cIuIIengIngIv.
"WIv, no, sIr, 'm no engIneer."
"You sIo?"
"OI course 'm sure. WIv sIouIdn'L be?"
He seemed Lo reIux. "TIuL's uII rIgIL LIen. Iuve Lo wuLcI LIem
personneI IeIIows. One oI LIem LIInks Ie's goIng Lo gIL me ouL oI Iere,
wIen Ie ougIL Lo know bv now Ie's wusLIng IIs LIme. ucIus Brockwuv
noL onIv InLends Lo proLecL IIsseII, Ie knows Iow Lo do IL! Evervbodv
knows been Iere ever sInce LIere's been u Iere-even IeIped dIg LIe
IIrsL IounduLIon. TIe OId Mun IIred me, nobodv eIse; und, bv God, IL'II
Luke LIe OId Mun Lo IIre me!"
rubbed uwuv uL LIe guuges, wonderIng wIuL Iud brougIL on LIIs
ouLbursL, und wus somewIuL reIIeved LIuL Ie seemed Lo IoId noLIIng
uguInsL me personuIIv.
"WIere vou go Lo scIooI?" Ie suId.
LoId IIm.
"s LIuL so? WIuL vou IeurnIng down LIere?"
"JusL generuI subjecLs, u reguIur coIIege course," suId.
"MecIunIcs?"
"OI no, noLIIng IIke LIuL, jusL u IIberuI urLs course. No Lrudes."
"s LIuL so?" Ie suId doubLIuIIv. TIen suddenIv, "How mucI
pressure goL on LIuL guuge rIgIL LIere?"
"WIIcI?"
"You see IL," Ie poInLed. "TIuL one rIgIL LIere!"
Iooked, cuIIIng oII, "orLv-LIree und Lwo-LenLIs pounds."
"UI IuI, uI IuI, LIuL's rIgIL." He squInLed uL LIe guuge und buck
uL me. "WIere vou Ieurn Lo reud u guuge so good?"
"n mv IIgI-scIooI pIvsIcs cIuss. L's IIke reudIng u cIock."
"TIev LeucI vou LIuL In IIgI scIooI?"
"TIuL's rIgIL."
"WeII, LIuL's goIng Lo be one oI vour jobs. TIese Iere guuges Iuve
Lo be cIecked everv IIILeen mInuLes. You ougIL Lo be ubIe Lo do LIuL."
" LIInk cun," suId.
"Some kIn, some cuInL. Bv LIe wuv, wIo IIred vou?"
"Mr. MucDuIIv," suId, wonderIng wIv uII LIe quesLIons.
"YeuI, LIen wIere vou been uII mornIng?"
" wus workIng over In BuIIdIng No. 1."
"TIuL LIere's u Ieup oI buIIdIng. WIere 'bouLs?"
"or Mr. KImbro."
" see, see. knowed LIev ougILn'L Lo be IIrIng unvbodv LIIs IuLe
In LIe duv. WIuL KImbro Iuve vou doIng?"
"PuLLIng dope In some puInL LIuL wenL bud," suId weurIIv,
unnoved wILI uII LIe quesLIons.
HIs IIps sIoL ouL beIIIgerenLIv. "WIuL puInL wenL bud?"
" LIInk IL wus some Ior LIe governmenL . . ."
He cocked IIs Ieud. " wonder Iow come nobodv suId noLIIng Lo
me ubouL IL," Ie suId LIougILIuIIv. "Wus IL In buckeLs or LIem IILLIe
bIddv cuns?"
"BuckeLs."
"OI, LIuL uIn'L so bud, LIem IILLIe ones Is u Ieup oI work." He guve
me u IIgI drv IuugI. "How vou Ieur ubouL LIIs job?" Ie snupped
suddenIv, us LIougI LrvIng Lo cuLcI me oII guurd.
"ook," suId sIowIv, "u mun know LoId me ubouL LIe job;
MucDuIIv IIred me; worked LIIs mornIng Ior Mr. KImbro; und wus
senL Lo vou bv Mr. MucDuIIv."
HIs Iuce LIgILened. "You IrIends Lo one oI LIose coIored IeIIows?"
"WIo?"
"Up In LIe Iub?"
"No," suId. "AnvLIIng eIse vou wunL Lo know?"
He guve me u Iong, suspIcIous Iook und spuL upon u IoL pIpe,
cuusIng IL Lo sLeum IurIousIv. wuLcIed IIm remove u Ieuvv engIneer's
wuLcI Irom IIs breusL pockeL und squInL uL LIe dIuI ImporLunLIv, LIen
Lurn Lo cIeck IL wILI un eIecLrIc cIock LIuL gIowed Irom LIe wuII. "You
keep on wIpIng LIem guuges," Ie suId. " goL Lo Iook uL mv soup. And
Iook Iere." He poInLed Lo one oI LIe guuges. " wunLs vou Lo keep u
'specIuIIv sIurp eve on LIIs Iere sonoIubILcI. TIe IusL coupIe oI duvs
Ie's 'veIoped u IubIL oI buIIdIng up Loo IusL. Cuuses me u Ieup oI
LroubIe. You see IIm gILLIng pusL ;=, vou veII, und veII Ioud!"
He wenL buck InLo LIe sIudows und suw u sIuIL oI brIgILness
murk LIe openIng oI u door.
RunnIng LIe rug over u guuge wondered Iow un uppurenLIv
uneducuLed oId mun couId guIn sucI u responsIbIe job. He cerLuInIv
dIdn'L sound IIke un engIneer; veL Ie uIone wus on duLv. And vou couId
never be sure, Ior uL Iome un oId mun empIoved us u junILor uL LIe
WuLer Works wus LIe onIv one wIo knew LIe IocuLIon oI uII oI LIe wuLer
muIns. He Iud been empIoved uL LIe begInnIng, beIore unv records
were kepL, und ucLuuIIv IuncLIoned us un engIneer LIougI Ie drew u
junILor's puv. PerIups LIIs oId Brockwuv wus proLecLIng IImseII Irom
someLIIng. AILer uII, LIere wus unLugonIsm Lo our beIng empIoved.
Muvbe Ie wus dIssImuIuLIng, IIke some oI LIe LeucIers uL LIe coIIege,
wIo, Lo uvoId LroubIe wIen drIvIng LIrougI LIe smuII surroundIng
Lowns, wore cIuuIIeur cups und preLended LIuL LIeIr curs beIonged Lo
wIILe men. BuL wIv wus Ie preLendIng wILI me? And wIuL wus IIs job?
Iooked uround me. L wus noL jusL un engIne room; knew, Ior
Iud been In severuI, LIe IusL uL coIIege. L wus someLIIng more. or one
LIIng, LIe Iurnuces were mude dIIIerenLIv und LIe IIumes LIuL IIured
LIrougI LIe crucks oI LIe IIre cIumbers were Loo InLense und Loo bIue.
And LIere were LIe odors. No, Ie wus mukIng someLIIng down Iere,
someLIIng LIuL Iud Lo do wILI puInL, und probubIv someLIIng Loo IIILIv
und dungerous Ior wIILe men Lo be wIIIIng Lo do even Ior monev. L wus
noL puInL becuuse Iud been LoId LIuL LIe puInL wus mude on LIe IIoors
ubove, wIere, pussIng LIrougI, Iud seen men In spIuLLered uprons
workIng over Iurge vuLs IIIIed wILI wIIrIIng pIgmenL. One LIIng wus
cerLuIn: Iud Lo be cureIuI wILI LIIs cruzv Brockwuv; Ie dIdn'L IIke mv
beIng Iere . . . And LIere Ie wus, enLerIng LIe room now Irom LIe
sLuIrs.
"How's IL goIng?" Ie usked.
"AII rIgIL," suId. "OnIv IL seems Lo Iuve goLLen Iouder."
"OI, IL geLs preLLv Ioud down Iere, uII rIgIL; LIIs Iere's LIe uprour
depurLmenL und 'm In cIurge . . . DId sIe go over LIe murk?"
"No, IL's IoIdIng sLeudv," suId.
"TIuL's good. been IuvIng pIenLv LroubIe wILI IL IuLeIv. HuveLu
busL IL down und gIve IL u good goIng over soon us cun geL LIe Lunk
cIeur."
PerIups Ie Is LIe engIneer, LIougIL, wuLcIIng IIm InspecL LIe
guuges und go Lo unoLIer purL oI LIe room Lo udjusL u serIes oI vuIves.
TIen Ie wenL und suId u Iew words InLo u wuII pIone und cuIIed me,
poInLIng Lo LIe vuIves.
"'m IIxIng Lo sIooL IL Lo 'em upsLuIrs," Ie suId gruveIv. "WIen
gIve vou LIe sIgnuI wunL vou Lo Lurn 'em wIde open. 'N wIen gIve
vou LIe second sIgnuI wunL vou Lo cIose 'em up uguIn. SLurL wILI LIIs
Iere red one und work rIgIL sLruIgIL ucross . . ."
Look mv posILIon und wuILed, us Ie Look u sLund neur LIe guuge.
"eL Ier go," Ie cuIIed. opened LIe vuIves, IeurIng LIe sound oI
IIquIds rusIIng LIrougI LIe Iuge pIpes. AL LIe sound oI u buzzer
Iooked up . . .
"SLurL cIosIng," Ie veIIed. "WIuL vou IookIng uL? CIose LIem
vuIves!
"WIuL's wrong wILI vou?" Ie usked wIen LIe IusL vuIve wus
cIosed.
" expecLed vou Lo cuII."
" suId 'd sIgnuI vou. CuInL vou LeII LIe dIIIerence beLween u sIgnuI
und u cuII? HeII, buzzed vou. You don'L wunL Lo do LIuL no more.
WIen buzz vou wunL vou Lo do someLIIng und do IL quIck!"
"You're LIe boss," suId surcusLIcuIIv.
"You mIgILv rIgIL, 'm LIe boss, und don'L IorgIL IL. Now come on
buck Iere, we goL work Lo do."
We cume Lo u sLrunge-IookIng mucIIne consIsLIng oI u Iuge seL oI
geurs connecLIng u serIes oI drum-IIke roIIers. Brockwuv Look u sIoveI
und scooped up u Ioud oI brown crvsLuIs Irom u pIIe on LIe IIoor,
pILcIIng LIem skIIIIuIIv InLo u recepLucIe on Lop oI LIe mucIIne.
"Grub u scoop und IeL's gIL goIng," Ie ordered brIskIv. "You ever
done LIIs beIore?" Ie usked us scooped InLo LIe pIIe.
"L's been u Iong LIme," suId. "WIuL Is LIIs muLerIuI?"
He sLopped sIoveIIng und guve me u Iong, bIuck sLure, LIen
reLurned Lo LIe pIIe, IIs scoop rIngIng on LIe IIoor. You'II Iuve Lo
remember noL Lo usk LIIs suspIcIous oId busLurd unv quesLIons,
LIougIL, scoopIng InLo LIe brown pIIe.
Soon wus perspIrIng IreeIv. Mv Iunds were sore und begun Lo
LIre. Brockwuv wuLcIed me ouL oI LIe corner oI IIs eve, snIckerIng
noIseIessIv.
"You don'L wunL Lo overwork vourseII, voung IeIIer," Ie suId
bIundIv.
"'II geL used Lo IL," suId, scoopIng up u Ieuvv Ioud.
"OI, sIo, sIo," Ie suId. "SIo. BuL vou beLLer Luke u resL wIen vou
gIL LIred."
dIdn'L sLop. pIIed on LIe muLerIuI unLII Ie suId, "TIuL LIere's LIe
scoop we been LrvIng Lo IInd. TIuL's wIuL we wunL. You beLLer sLund
buck u IILLIe, 'cuuse 'm IIxIng Lo sLurL Ier up."
bucked uwuv, wuLcIIng IIm go over und pusI u swILcI.
SIudderIng InLo moLIon, LIe mucIIne guve u sudden screum IIke u
cIrcuIur suw, und senL u LuLLoo oI sIurp crvsLuIs uguInsL mv Iuce.
moved cIumsIIv uwuv, seeIng Brockwuv grIn IIke u drIed prune. TIen
wILI LIe dvIng Ium oI LIe IurIousIv wIIrIIng drums, Ieurd LIe gruIns
sIILIng IuzIIv In LIe sudden sLIIIness, sIIdIng sund-IIke down LIe cIuLe
InLo LIe poL underneuLI.
wuLcIed IIm go over und open u vuIve. A sIurp new smeII oI oII
urose.
"Now sIe's uII seL Lo cook down; uII we goL Lo do Is puL LIe IIre Lo
Ier," Ie suId, pressIng u buLLon on someLIIng LIuL Iooked IIke LIe
burner oI un oII Iurnuce. TIere wus un ungrv Ium, IoIIowed bv u sIIgIL
expIosIon LIuL cuused someLIIng Lo ruLLIe, und couId Ieur u Iow
rourIng begIn.
"Know wIuL LIuL's goIng Lo be wIen IL's cooked?"
"No, sIr," suId. .
"WeII LIuL's goIng Lo be LIe guLs, wIuL LIev cuII LIe vee-IIcIe oI LIe
puInL. eusL IL wIII be bv LIme gIL LIrougI puLLIng oLIer sLuII wILI IL."
"BuL LIougIL LIe puInL wus mude upsLuIrs . . ."
"Nuw, LIev jusL mIxes In LIe coIor, muke IL Iook preLLv. RIgIL down
Iere Is wIere LIe reuI puInL Is mude. WILIouL wIuL do LIev couIdn'L
do noLIIng, LIev be mukIng brIcks wILIouL sLruw. An' noL onIv do
muke up LIe buse, IIxes LIe vurnIsIes und IoLs oI LIe oIIs Loo . . ."
"So LIuL's IL," suId. " wus wonderIng wIuL vou dId down Iere."
"A wIoIe IoLs oI IoIks wonders ubouL LIuL wILIouL gILLIng
unvwIere. BuL us wus suvIng, cuInL u sIngIe doggone drop oI puInL
move ouL oI LIe IucLorv Iessen IL comes LIrougI ucIus Brockwuv's
Iunds."
"How Iong Iuve vou been doIng LIIs?"
"ong enougI Lo know wIuL 'm doIng," Ie suId. "And Ieurned IL
wILIouL uII LIuL educuLIon LIuL LIem wIuL's been senL down Iere Is
suppose Lo Iuve. Ieurned IL bv doIng IL. TIem personneI IeIIows don'L
wunL Lo Iuce LIe IucLs, buL IberLv PuInLs wouIdn'L be worLI u pIugged
nIckeI II LIev dIdn'L Iuve me Iere Lo see LIuL IL goL u good sLrong buse.
OId Mun SpurIund know IL LIougI. cuInL sLop IuugIIng over LIe LIme
wIen wus down wILI u LoucI oI pneumonIu und LIev puL one oI LIem
so-cuIIed engIneers Lo pooIIng uround down Iere. WIv, LIev sLurLed Lo
IuvIng so mucI puInL go bud LIev dIdn'L know wIuL Lo do. PuInL wus
bIeedIng und wrInkIIng, wouIdn'L cover or noLIIng-vou know, u mun
couId muke IIsseII uII kInds oI monev II Ie Iound ouL wIuL mukes puInL
bIeed. Anvwuv, evervLIIng wus goIng bud. TIen word goL Lo me LIuL
LIev done puL LIuL IeIIow In mv pIuce und wIen goL weII wouIdn'L
come buck. Here been wILI 'em so Iong und IovuI und evervLIIng.
SIucks, jusL senL 'em word LIuL ucIus Brockwuv wus reLIrIng!
"NexL LIIng vou know Iere come LIe OId Mun. He so oId IIsseII
IIs cIuuIIeur Ius Lo IeIp IIm up LIem sLeep sLuIrs uL mv pIuce. Come In
u-puIIIng und u-bIowIng, suvs, 'ucIus, wIuL's LIIs Ieur 'bouL vou
reLIrIng?'
" 'WeII, sIr, Mr. SpurIund, sIr,' suvs, ' been preLLv sIck, us vou
weII know, und 'm gILLIng kInder uIong In mv veurs, us vou weII know,
und Ieur LIuL LIIs Iere LuIIun IeIIow vou goL In mv pIuce Is doIng so
good LIougIL 'd mIgIL us weII Luke IL eusv round LIe Iouse.'
"WIv, vou'd u-LIougIL 'd done cursed IIm or someLIIng. 'WIuL
kInd oI LuIk Is LIuL Irom vou, ucIus Brockwuv,' Ie suId, 'LukIng IL eusv
round LIe Iouse wIen we need vou ouL Lo LIe pIunL? Don'L vou know
LIe quIckesL wuv Lo dIe Is Lo reLIre? WIv, LIuL IeIIow ouL uL LIe pIunL
don'L know u LIIng ubouL LIose Iurnuces. 'm so worrIed ubouL wIuL
Ie's goIng Lo do, LIuL Ie's IIubIe Lo bIow up LIe pIunL or someLIIng LIuL
Look ouL some exLru Insurunce. He cun'L do vour job,' Ie suId. 'He
don'L Iuve LIe LoucI. We Iuven'L puL ouL u IIrsL-cIuss buLcI oI puInL
sInce vou been gone.' Now LIuL wus LIe OId Mun IIsseII!" ucIus
Brockwuv suId.
"So wIuL Iuppened?" suId.
"WIuL vou meun, wIuL Iuppened?" Ie suId, IookIng us LIougI IL
were LIe mosL unreusonubIe quesLIon In LIe worId. "SIucks, u Iew duvs
IuLer LIe OId Mun Iud me buck down Iere In IuII conLroI. TIuL engIneer
goL so mud wIen Ie Iound ouL Ie Iud Lo Luke orders Irom me Ie quIL
LIe nexL duv."
He spuL on LIe IIoor und IuugIed. "HeI, IeI, IeI, Ie wus u IooI,
LIuL's wIuL. A IooI! He wunLed Lo boss me und know more ubouL LIIs
busemenL LIun unvbodv, boIIers und evervLIIng. IeIped Iuv LIe pIpes
und evervLIIng, und wIuL meun Is knows LIe IocuLIon oI eucI und
everv pIpe und swILcI und cubIe und wIre und evervLIIng eIse-boLI In
LIe IIoors und In LIe wuIIs und ouL In LIe vurd. Yes, sIr! And wIuL's
more, goL IL In mv Ieud so good cun Lruce IL ouL on puper down Lo
LIe IusL nuL und boIL; und uIn'L never been Lo nobodv's engIneerIng
scIooI neILIer, uIn'L even pussed bv one, us Iur us know. Now wIuL
vou LIInk ubouL LIuL?"
" LIInk IL's remurkubIe," suId, LIInkIng, don'L IIke LIIs oId mun.
"OI, wouIdn'L cuII IL LIuL," Ie suId. "L's jusL LIuL been round
Iere so Iong. been sLudvIng LIIs mucIInerv Ior over LwenLv-IIve veurs.
SIo, und LIuL IeIIow LIInkIng 'cuuse Ie been Lo some scIooI und
Ieurned Iow Lo reud u bIueprInL und Iow Lo IIre u boIIer Ie knows more
'bouL LIIs pIunL LIun ucIus Brockwuv. TIuL IooI couIdn'L muke no
engIneer 'cuuse Ie cun'L see wIuL's sLurIng IIm sLruIgIL In LIe Iuce . . .
Suv, vou IorgILLIn' Lo wuLcI LIem guuges."
IurrIed over, IIndIng uII LIe needIes sLeudv.
"TIev're okuv," cuIIed.
"AII rIgIL, buL 'm wurnIng vou Lo keep un eve on 'em. You cuInL
IorgIL down Iere, 'cuuse II vou do, vou IIubIe Lo bIow up someLIIng.
TIev goL uII LIIs mucIInerv, buL LIuL uIn'L evervLIIng; we ure LIe
mucIInes InsIde LIe mucIIne.
"You know LIe besL seIIIng puInL we goL, LIe one LIuL mude LIIs
Iere busIness?" Ie usked us IeIped IIm IIII u vuL wILI u smeIIv
subsLunce.
"No, don'L."
"Our wIILe, OpLIc WIILe."
"WIv LIe wIILe ruLIer LIun LIe oLIers?"
" 'Cuuse we sLurLed sLressIng IL Irom LIe IIrsL. We muke LIe besL
wIILe puInL In LIe worId, don'L gIve u dumn wIuL nobodv suvs. Our
wIILe Is so wIILe vou cun puInL u cIunku couI und vou'd Iuve Lo cruck IL
open wILI u sIedge Iummer Lo prove IL wusn'L wIILe cIeur LIrougI!"
HIs eves gIInLed wILI IumorIess convIcLIon und Iud Lo drop mv
Ieud Lo IIde mv grIn.
"You noLIce LIuL sIgn on Lop oI LIe buIIdIng?"
"OI, vou cun'L mIss LIuL," suId.
"You reud LIe sIogun?"
" don'L remember, wus In sucI u Iurrv."
"WeII, vou mIgIL noL beIIeve IL, buL IeIped LIe OId Mun muke up
LIuL sIogun. 'I L's OpLIc WIILe, L's LIe RIgIL WIILe,' " Ie quoLed wILI
un upruIsed IInger, IIke u preucIer quoLIng IoIv wrIL. " goL me u LIree-
Iundred-doIIur bonus Ior IeIpIng Lo LIInk LIuL up. TIese newIungIed
udverLIsIng IoIks Is been LrvIn' Lo work up someLIIng ubouL LIe oLIer
coIors, LuIkIng ubouL ruInbows or someLIIng, buL IeII, LIev cuInL geL
nowIere."
" 'I L's OpLIc WIILe, L's LIe RIgIL WIILe,'" repeuLed und
suddenIv Iud Lo repress u IuugI us u cIIIdIood jIngIe rung LIrougI mv
mInd:
" 'I vou're wIILe, vou're rIgIL,' " suId.
"TIuL's IL," Ie suId. "And LIuL's unoLIer reuson wIv LIe OId Mun
uIn'L goIn' Lo IeL nobodv come down Iere messIng wILI me. He knows
wIuL u IoL oI LIem new IeIIers don'L; Ie knows LIuL LIe reuson our puInL
Is so good Is becuuse oI LIe wuv ucIus Brockwuv puLs LIe pressure on
LIem oIIs und resIns beIore LIev even Ieuves LIe Lunks." He IuugIed
muIIcIousIv. "TIev LIInks 'cuuse evervLIIng down Iere Is done bv
mucIInerv, LIuL's uII LIere Is Lo IL. TIev cruzv! AIn'L u conLInenLuI LIIng
LIuL Iuppens down Iere LIuL uIn'L us IIIen done puL mv bIuck Iunds
InLo IL! TIem mucIInes jusL do LIe cookIng, LIese Iere Iunds rIgIL Iere
do LIe sweeLIng. Yes, sIr! ucIus Brockwuv IIL IL squure on LIe Ieud!
dIps mv IIngers In und sweeLs IL! Come on, IeL's euL . . ."
"BuL wIuL ubouL LIe guuges?" suId, seeIng IIm go over und Luke u
LIermos boLLIe Irom u sIeII neur one oI LIe Iurnuces.
"OI, we'II be Iere cIose enougI Lo keep un eve on 'em. Don'L vou
worrv 'bouL LIuL."
"BuL IeIL mv IuncI In LIe Iocker room over uL BuIIdIng No. 1."
"Go on und gIL IL und come buck Iere und euL. Down Iere we Iuve
Lo uIwuvs be on LIe job. A mun don'L need no more'n IIILeen mInuLes Lo
euL no-Iow; LIen suv IeL IIm gIL on buck on LIe job."
UpON openIng LIe door LIougIL Iud mude u mIsLuke. Men
dressed In spIuLLered puInLers' cups und overuIIs suL ubouL on bencIes,
IIsLenIng Lo u LIIn LubercuIur-IookIng mun wIo wus uddressIng LIem In
u nusuI voIce. Evervone Iooked uL me und wus sLurLIng ouL wIen LIe
LIIn mun cuIIed, "TIere's pIenLv oI seuLs Ior IuLe comers. Come In,
broLIer . . ."
BroLIer? Even uILer mv weeks In LIe NorLI LIIs wus surprIsIng. "
wus IookIng Ior LIe Iocker room," spIuLLered.
"You're In IL, broLIer. Weren'L vou LoId ubouL LIe meeLIng?"
"MeeLIng? WIv, no, sIr, wusn'L."
TIe cIuIrmun Irowned. "You see, LIe bosses ure noL co-operuLIng,"
Ie suId Lo LIe oLIers. "BroLIer, wIo's vour Ioremun?"
"Mr. Brockwuv, sIr," suId.
SuddenIv LIe men begun scrupIng LIeIr IeeL und cursIng. Iooked
ubouL me. WIuL wus wrong? Were LIev objecLIng Lo mv reIerrIng Lo
Brockwuv us MIsLer?
"QuIeL, broLIers," LIe cIuIrmun suId, IeunIng ucross IIs LubIe, IIs
Iund cupped Lo IIs eur. "Now wIuL wus LIuL, broLIer; wIo Is vour
Ioremun?"
"ucIus Brockwuv, sIr," suId, droppIng LIe MIsLer.
BuL LIIs seemed onIv Lo muke LIem more IosLIIe. "GeL IIm LIe IeII
ouL oI Iere," LIev sIouLed. Lurned. A group on LIe Iur sIde oI LIe room
kIcked over u bencI, veIIIng, "TIrow IIm ouL! TIrow IIm ouL!"
IncIed buckwurds, IeurIng LIe IILLIe mun bung on LIe LubIe Ior
order. "Men, broLIers! GIve LIe broLIer u cIunce . . ."
"He Iooks IIke u dIrLv IInk Lo me. A IIrsL-cIuss enumeIed IInk!"
TIe IourseIv voIced word gruLed mv eurs IIke "nIgger" In un ungrv
souLIern mouLI . . .
"BroLIers, pIeuse!" TIe cIuIrmun wus wuvIng IIs Iunds us
reucIed ouL beIInd me Ior LIe door und LoucIed un urm, IeeIIng IL
snuLcI vIoIenLIv uwuv. dropped mv Iund.
"WIo senL LIIs IInk InLo LIe meeLIng, broLIer cIuIrmun? Ask IIm
LIuL!" u mun demunded.
"No, wuIL," LIe cIuIrmun suId. "Don'L rIde LIuL word Loo Iurd . . ."
"Ask IIm, broLIer cIuIrmun!" unoLIer mun suId.
"Okuv, buL don'L IubeI u mun u IInk unLII vou know Ior sure." TIe
cIuIrmun Lurned Lo me. "How'd vou Iuppen In Iere, broLIer?"
TIe men quIeLed, IIsLenIng.
" IeIL mv IuncI In mv Iocker," suId, mv mouLI drv.
"You weren'L senL InLo LIe meeLIng?"
"No, sIr, dIdn'L know ubouL unv meeLIng."
"TIe IeII Ie suvs. None oI LIese IInks ever knows!"
"TIrow LIe Iousv busLurd ouL!"
"Now, wuIL," suId.
TIev becume Iouder, LIreuLenIng.
"RespecL LIe cIuIr!" LIe cIuIrmun sIouLed. "We're u democruLIc
unIon Iere, IoIIowIng democruLIc -"
"Never mInd, gIL rId oI LIe IInk!"
". . . procedures. L's our Lusk Lo muke IrIends wILI uII LIe workers.
And meun uII. TIuL's Iow we buIId LIe unIon sLrong. Now IeL's Ieur
wIuL LIe broLIer's goL Lo suv. No more oI LIuL beeIIng und
InLerrupLIng!"
broke InLo u coId sweuL, mv eves seemIng Lo Iuve become
exLremeIv sIurp, cuusIng eucI Iuce Lo sLund ouL vIvId In ILs IosLIIILv.
Ieurd, "WIen were vou IIred, IrIend?"
"TIIs mornIng," suId.
"See, broLIers, Ie's u new mun. We don'L wunL Lo muke LIe
mIsLuke oI judgIng LIe worker bv IIs Ioremun. Some oI vou uIso work
Ior sonsubILcIes, remember?"
SuddenIv LIe men begun Lo IuugI und curse. "Here's one rIgIL
Iere," one oI LIem veIIed.
"MIne wunLs Lo murrv LIe boss's duugILer-u IrIggIng eIgIL-duv
wonder!"
TIIs sudden cIunge mude me puzzIed und ungrv, us LIougI LIev
were mukIng me LIe buLL oI u joke.
"Order, broLIers! PerIups LIe broLIer wouId IIke Lo joIn LIe
unIon. How ubouL IL, broLIer?"
"SIr . . . ?" dIdn'L know wIuL Lo suv. knew verv IILLIe ubouL
unIons-buL mosL oI LIese men seemed IosLIIe . . . And beIore couId
unswer u IuL mun wILI sIuggv gruv IuIr Ieuped Lo IIs IeeL, sIouLIng
ungrIIv,
"'m uguInsL IL! BroLIers, LIIs IeIIow couId be u IInk, even II Ie wus
IIred rIgIL LIIs mInuLe! NoL LIuL uIm Lo be unIuIr Lo unvbodv, eILIer.
Muvbe Ie uIn'L u IInk," Ie crIed pussIonuLeIv, "buL broLIers, wunL Lo
remInd vou LIuL nobodv knows IL; und IL seems Lo me LIuL unvbodv LIuL
wouId work under LIuL sonoIubILcIIng, doubIe-crossIng Brockwuv Ior
more LIun IIILeen mInuLes Is jusL us upL us noL Lo be nuLuruIIv IInk-
mInded! PIeuse, broLIers!" Ie crIed, wuvIng IIs urms Ior quIeL. "As
some oI vou broLIers Iuve Ieurned, Lo LIe sorrow oI vour wIves und
bubIes, u IInk don'L Iuve Lo know ubouL Lrude unIonIsm Lo be u IInk!
InkIsm? HeII, 've mude u sLudv oI IInkIsm! InkIsm Is born InLo some
guvs. L's born InLo some guvs, jusL IIke u good eve Ior coIor Is born InLo
oLIer guvs. TIuL's rIgIL, LIuL's LIe IonesL, scIenLIIIc LruLI! A IInk don'L
even Iuve Lo Iuve Ieurd oI u unIon beIore," Ie crIed In u Irenzv oI
words. "AII vou Iuve Lo do Is brIng IIm uround LIe neIgIborIood oI u
unIon und nexL LIIng vou know, wIv, zIp! Ie's IInkIng IIs IInkIng uss
oII!"
He wus drowned ouL bv sIouLs oI upprovuI. Men Lurned vIoIenLIv
Lo Iook uL me. IeIL cIoked. wunLed Lo drop mv Ieud buL Iuced LIem
us LIougI IucIng LIem wus ILseII u denIuI oI IIs sLuLemenLs. AnoLIer
voIce rIpped ouL oI LIe sIouLs oI upprovuI, spIIIIng wILI greuL urgencv
Irom LIe IIps oI u IILLIe IeIIow wILI gIusses wIo spoke wILI LIe Index
IInger oI one Iund upruIsed und LIe LIumb oI LIe oLIer crooked In LIe
suspender oI IIs overuIIs:
" wunL Lo puL LIIs broLIer's remurks In LIe Iorm oI u moLIon:
move LIuL we deLermIne LIrougI u LIorougI InvesLIguLIon wIeLIer LIe
new worker Is u IInk or no; und II Ie Is u IInk, IeL us dIscover wIo Ie's
IInkIng Ior! And LIIs, broLIer members, wouId gIve LIe worker LIme, II
Ie uIn'L u IInk, Lo become ucquuInLed wILI LIe work oI LIe unIon und ILs
uIms. AILer uII, broLIers, we don'L wunL Lo IorgeL LIuL workers IIke IIm
uren'L so IIgIIv deveIoped us some oI us wIo've been In LIe Iubor
movemenL Ior u Iong LIme. So suvs, IeL's gIve IIm LIme Lo see wIuL
we've done Lo Improve LIe condILIon oI LIe workers, und LIen, II Ie
uIn'L u IInk, we cun decIde In u democruLIc wuv wIeLIer we wunL Lo
uccepL LIIs broLIer InLo LIe unIon. BroLIer unIon members, LIunk
vou!" He suL down wILI u bump.
TIe room roured. BILIng unger grew InsIde me. So wus noL so
IIgIIv deveIoped us LIev! WIuL dId Ie meun? Were LIev uII PI.D.'s?
couIdn'L move; Loo mucI wus IuppenIng Lo me. L wus us LIougI bv
enLerIng LIe room Iud uuLomuLIcuIIv uppIIed Ior membersIIp-even
LIougI Iud no Ideu LIuL u unIon exIsLed, und Iud come up sImpIv Lo
geL u coId pork cIop sundwIcI. sLood LrembIIng, uIruId LIuL LIev
wouId usk me Lo joIn buL ungrv LIuL so munv rejecLed me on sIgIL. And
worsL oI uII, knew LIev were IorcIng me Lo uccepL LIIngs on LIeIr own
Lerms, und wus unubIe Lo Ieuve.
"AII rIgIL, broLIers. We'II Luke u voLe," LIe cIuIrmun sIouLed. "AII
In Iuvor oI LIe moLIon, sIgnIIv bv suvIng 'Ave' . . ."
TIe uves drowned IIm ouL.
"TIe uves currIed IL," LIe cIuIrmun unnounced us severuI men
Lurned Lo sLure uL me. AL IusL couId move. sLurLed ouL, IorgeLLIng wIv
Iud come.
"Come In, broLIer," LIe cIuIrmun cuIIed. "You cun geL vour IuncI
now. eL IIm LIrougI, vou broLIers uround LIe door!"
Mv Iuce sLung us LIougI IL Iud been sIupped. TIev Iud mude LIeIr
decIsIon wILIouL gIvIng me u cIunce Lo speuk Ior mvseII. IeIL LIuL
everv mun presenL Iooked upon me wILI IosLIIILv; und LIougI Iud
IIved wILI IosLIIILv uII mv IIIe, now Ior LIe IIrsL LIme IL seemed Lo reucI
me, us LIougI Iud expecLed more oI LIese men LIun oI oLIers-even
LIougI Iud noL known oI LIeIr exIsLence. Here In LIIs room mv
deIenses were neguLed, sLrIpped uwuv, cIecked uL LIe door us LIe
weupons, LIe knIves und ruzors und owIIeud pIsLoIs oI LIe counLrv bovs
were cIecked on SuLurduv nIgIL uL LIe GoIden Duv. kepL mv eves
Iowered, mumbIIng "Purdon me, purdon me," uII LIe wuv Lo LIe drub
green Iocker, wIere removed LIe sundwIcI, Ior wIIcI no Ionger Iud
un uppeLILe, und sLood IumbIIng wILI LIe bug, dreudIng Lo Iuce LIe men
on mv wuv ouL. TIen sLIII IuLIng mvseII Ior LIe upoIogIes mude comIng
over, brusIed pusL sIIenLIv us wenL buck.
WIen reucIed LIe door LIe cIuIrmun cuIIed, "JusL u mInuLe,
broLIer, we wunL vou Lo undersLund LIuL LIIs Is noLIIng uguInsL vou
personuIIv. WIuL vou see Iere Is LIe resuILs oI cerLuIn condILIons Iere
uL LIe pIunL. We wunL vou Lo know LIuL we ure onIv LrvIng Lo proLecL
ourseIves. Some duv we Iope Lo Iuve vou us u member In good
sLundIng."
rom Iere und LIere cume u IuII-IeurLed uppIuuse LIuL quIckIv
dIed. swuIIowed und sLured unseeIng, LIe words spurLIng Lo me Irom u
red, mIsLv dIsLunce.
"Okuv, broLIers," LIe voIce suId, "IeL IIm puss."
STUMBED LIrougI LIe brIgIL sunIIgIL oI LIe vurd, pusL LIe
oIIIce workers cIuLLIng on LIe gruss, buck Lo BuIIdIng No. z, Lo LIe
busemenL. sLood on LIe sLuIrs, IeeIIng us LIougI mv boweIs Iud been
IIooded wILI ucId.
WIv Iudn'L sImpIv IeIL, LIougIL wILI unguIsI. And sInce Iud
remuIned, wIv Iudn'L suId someLIIng, deIended mvseII? SuddenIv
snuLcIed LIe wrupper oII u sundwIcI und Lore IL vIoIenLIv wILI mv
LeeLI, IurdIv LusLIng LIe drv Iumps LIuL squeezed pusL mv consLrIcLed
LIrouL wIen swuIIowed. DroppIng LIe remuInder buck InLo LIe bug,
IeId onLo LIe IundruII, mv Iegs sIukIng us LIougI Iud jusL escuped u
greuL dunger. InuIIv, IL wenL uwuv und pusIed open LIe meLuI door.
"WIuL kepL vou so Iong?" Brockwuv snupped Irom wIere Ie suL on
u wIeeIburrow. He Iud been drInkIng Irom u wIILe mug now cupped In
IIs grImv Iunds.
Iooked uL IIm ubsLrucLedIv, seeIng Iow LIe IIgIL cuugIL on IIs
wrInkIed IoreIeud, IIs snowv IuIr. " suId, wIuL kepL vou so Iong!"
WIuL Iud Ie Lo do wILI IL, LIougIL, IookIng uL IIm LIrougI u kInd oI
mIsL, knowIng LIuL dIsIIked IIm und LIuL wus verv LIred.
" suv . . ." Ie begun, und Ieurd mv voIce come quIeL Irom mv
Lensed LIrouL us noLIced bv LIe cIock LIuL Iud been gone onIv LwenLv
mInuLes. " run InLo u unIon meeLIng -"
"UnIon!" Ieurd IIs wIILe cup sIuLLer uguInsL LIe IIoor us Ie
uncrossed IIs Iegs, rIsIng. " knowed vou beIonged Lo LIuL buncI oI
LroubIemukIng IoreIgners! knowed IL! GIL ouL!" Ie screumed. "GIL ouL
oI mv busemenL!"
He sLurLed Lowurd me us In u dreum, LrembIIng IIke LIe needIe oI
one oI LIe guuges us Ie poInLed Lowurd LIe sLuIrs, IIs voIce sIrIekIng.
sLured; someLIIng seemed Lo Iuve gone wrong, mv reIIexes were
jummed.
"BuL wIuL's LIe muLLer?" sLummered, mv voIce Iow und mv mInd
undersLundIng und veL IuIIIng exucLIv Lo undersLund. "WIuL's wrong?"
"You Ieurd me. GIL ouL!"
"BuL don'L undersLund . . ."
"SIuL up und gIL!"
"BuL, Mr. Brockwuv," crIed, IIgILIng Lo IoId someLIIng LIuL wus
gIvIng wuv.
"You Lwo-bIL, LroubIe-mukIng unIon Iouse!"
"ook, mun," crIed, urgenLIv now, " don'L beIong Lo unv unIon."
"I vou don'L gIL ouLLu Iere, vou Iow-down skunk," Ie suId, IookIng
wIIdIv ubouL LIe IIoor, "'m IIubIe Lo kIII vou. TIe ord beIng mv
wILness, ' K YOU!"
L wus IncredIbIe, LIIngs were speedIng up. "You'II do wIuL?"
sLummered.
"' K YOU, THAT'S WHAT!"
He Iud suId IL uguIn und someLIIng IeII uwuv Irom me, und
seemed Lo be LeIIIng mvseII In u rusI: You were LruIned Lo uccepL LIe
IooIIsIness oI sucI oId men us LIIs, even wIen vou LIougIL LIem
cIowns und IooIs; vou were LruIned Lo preLend LIuL vou respecLed LIem
und ucknowIedged In LIem LIe sume quuIILv oI uuLIorILv und power In
vour worId us LIe wIILes beIore wIom LIev bowed und scruped und
Ieured und Ioved und ImILuLed, und vou were even LruIned Lo uccepL IL
wIen, ungered or spILeIuI, or drunk wILI power, LIev cume uL vou wILI
u sLIck or sLrup or cune und vou mude no eIIorL Lo sLrIke buck, buL onIv
Lo escupe unmurked. BuL LIIs wus Loo mucI . . . Ie wus noL grundIuLIer
or uncIe or IuLIer, nor preucIer or LeucIer. SomeLIIng uncoIIed In mv
sLomucI und wus movIng Lowurd IIm, sIouLIng, more uL u bIuck bIur
LIuL IrrILuLed mv eves LIun uL u cIeurIv denned Iumun Iuce, "YOU'
K WHO?"
"YOU, THAT'S WHO!"
"IsLen Iere, vou oId IooI, don'L LuIk ubouL kIIIIng me! GIve me u
cIunce Lo expIuIn. don'L beIong Lo unvLIIng-Go on, pIck IL up! Go
on!" veIIed, seeIng IIs eves IusLen upon u LwIsLed Iron bur. "You're oId
enougI Lo be mv grundIuLIer, buL II vou LoucI LIuL bur, sweur 'II
muke vou euL IL!"
" done LoIe vou, GT OUTTA MY BASEMENT! You ImpudenL
son'bILcI," Ie screumed.
moved Iorwurd, seeIng IIm sLoop und reucI usIde Ior LIe bur;
und wus LIrowIng mvseII Iorwurd, IeeIIng IIm go over wILI u grunL,
Iurd uguInsL LIe IIoor, roIIIng beneuLI LIe Iorce oI mv Iunge. L wus us
LIougI Iud Iunded upon u wIrv ruL. He scrumbIed beneuLI me,
mukIng ungrv sounds und sLrIkIng mv Iuce us Ie LrIed Lo use LIe bur.
LwIsLed IL Irom IIs grusp, IeeIIng u sIurp puIn sLub LIrougI mv
sIouIder. He's usIng u knIIe IIusIed LIrougI mv mInd und sIusIed ouL
wILI mv eIbow, sIurp uguInsL IIs Iuce, IeeIIng IL Iund soIId und seeIng
IIs Ieud IIv buckwurds und up und buck uguIn us sLruck uguIn, IeurIng
someLIIng IIv Iree und skILLer ucross LIe IIoor, LIInkIng, L's gone, LIe
knIIe Is gone . . . und sLruck uguIn us Ie LrIed Lo cIoke me, jubbIng uL IIs
bobbIng Ieud, IeeIIng LIe bur come Iree und brIngIng IL down uL IIs
Ieud, mIssIng, LIe meLuI cIInkIng uguInsL LIe IIoor, und brIngIng IL up
Ior u second Lrv und IIm veIIIng, "No, no! You LIe besL, vou LIe besL!"
"'m goIng Lo beuL vour bruIns ouL!" suId, mv LIrouL drv,
"sLubbIng me . . ."
"No," Ie punLed. " goL enougI. AIn'L vou Ieurd me suv goL
enougI?"
"So wIen vou cun'L wIn vou wunL Lo sLop! Dumn vou, II vou've cuL
me bud, 'II Leur vour Ieud oII!"
WuLcIIng IIm wurIIv, goL Lo mv IeeL. dropped LIe bur, us u IIusI
oI IeuL swepL over me: HIs Iuce wus cuved In.
"WIuL's wrong wILI vou, oId mun?" veIIed nervousIv. "Don'L vou
know beLLer LIun Lo uLLuck u mun u LIIrd vour uge?"
He bIuncIed uL beIng cuIIed oId, und repeuLed IL, uddIng InsuILs
'd Ieurd mv grundIuLIer use. "WIv, vou oId-IusIIoned, sIuverv-LIme,
mummv-mude, IundkercIIeI-Ieuded busLurd, vou sIouId know beLLer!
WIuL mude vou LIInk vou couId LIreuLen mv IIIe? You meunL noLIIng
Lo me, cume down Iere becuuse wus senL. dIdn'L know unvLIIng
ubouL vou or LIe unIon eILIer. WIv'd vou sLurL rIdIng me LIe mInuLe
cume In? Are vou peopIe cruzv? Does LIIs puInL go Lo vour Ieud? Are
vou drInkIng IL?"
He gIured, punLIng LIredIv. GreuL Lucks sIowed In IIs overuIIs
wIere LIe IoIds were sLuck LogeLIer bv LIe goo wILI wIIcI Ie wus
covered, und LIougIL, Tur Bubv, und wunLed Lo bIoL IIm ouL oI mv
sIgIL. BuL now mv unger wus IIowIng IusL Irom ucLIon Lo words.
" go Lo geL mv IuncI und LIev usk me wIo work Ior und wIen
LeII LIem, LIev cuII me u IInk. A IInk! You peopIe musL be ouL oI vour
mInds. No sooner do geL buck down Iere LIun vou sLurL veIIIng LIuL
vou're goIng Lo kIII me! WIuL's goIng on? WIuL Iuve vou goL uguInsL
me? WIuL dId do?"
He gIowered uL me sIIenLIv, LIen poInLed Lo LIe IIoor.
"ReucI und druw buck u nub," wurned.
"CuInL u mun even gIL IIs LeeLI?" Ie mumbIed, IIs voIce sLrunge.
"TEETH?"
WILI u sIumed Irown, Ie opened IIs mouLI. suw u bIue IIusI oI
sIrunken gums. TIe LIIng LIuL Iud skILLered ucross LIe IIoor wus noL u
knIIe, buL u pIuLe oI IuIse LeeLI. or u IrucLIon oI u second wus
desperuLe, IeeIIng some oI mv jusLIIIcuLIon Ior wunLIng Lo kIII IIm
sIIppIng uwuv. Mv IIngers Ieuped Lo mv sIouIder, IIndIng weL cIoLI buL
no bIood. TIe oId IooI Iud bILLen me. A wIId IIusI oI IuugILer sLruggIed
Lo rIse Irom beneuLI mv unger. He Iud bILLen me! Iooked on LIe IIoor,
seeIng LIe smusIed mug und LIe LeeLI gIInLIng duIIv ucross LIe room.
"GeL LIem," suId, growIng usIumed. WILIouL IIs LeeLI, some oI
LIe IuLeIuIness seemed Lo Iuve gone ouL oI IIm. BuL sLuved cIose us
Ie goL IIs LeeLI und wenL over Lo LIe Lup und IeId LIem beneuLI u
sLreum oI wuLer. A LooLI IeII uwuv beneuLI LIe pressure oI IIs LIumb,
und Ieurd IIm grumbIIng us Ie pIuced LIe pIuLe In IIs mouLI. TIen,
wIggIIng IIs cIIn, Ie becume IImseII uguIn.
"You wus reuIIv LrvIng Lo kIII me," Ie suId. He seemed unubIe Lo
beIIeve IL.
"You sLurLed LIe kIIIIng. don'L go uround IIgILIng," suId. "WIv
dIdn'L vou IeL me expIuIn? s IL uguInsL LIe Iuw Lo beIong Lo LIe unIon?"
"TIuL dumn unIon," Ie crIed, uImosL In Leurs. "TIuL dumn unIon!
TIev uILer mv job! know LIev uILer mv job! or one oI us Lo joIn one oI
LIem dumn unIons Is IIke we wus Lo bILe LIe Iund oI LIe mun wIo
LeucIed us Lo buLIe In u buLILub! IuLes IL, und meun Lo keep on
doIng uII cun Lo cIuse IL ouLLu LIe pIunL. TIev uILer mv job, LIe
cIIckensIIL busLurds!"
SpILLIe Iormed uL LIe corners oI IIs mouLI; Ie seemed Lo boII wILI
IuLred.
"BuL wIuL Iuve Lo do wILI LIuL?" suId, IeeIIng suddenIv LIe
oIder.
" 'Cuuse LIem voung coIored IeIIers up In LIe Iub Is LrvIng Lo joIn
LIuL ouLIIL, LIuL's wIuL! Here LIe wIILe mun done gIve 'em jobs," Ie
wIeezed us LIougI pIeudIng u cuse. "He done gIve 'em good jobs Loo,
und LIev so ungruLeIuI LIev goes und joIns up wILI LIuL buckbILIng
unIon! never seen sucI u no-good ungruLeIuI buncI. AII LIev doIng Is
mukIng LIIngs bud Ior LIe resL oI us!"
"WeII, 'm sorrv," suId, " dIdn'L know ubouL uII LIuL. cume Iere
Lo Luke u Lemporurv job und cerLuInIv dIdn'L InLend Lo geL mIxed up In
unv quurreIs. BuL us Ior us, 'm reudv Lo IorgeL our dIsugreemenL-II
vou ure . . ." IeId ouL mv Iund, cuusIng mv sIouIder Lo puIn.
He guve me u gruII Iook. "You ougIL Lo Iuve more seII-respecL
LIun Lo IIgIL un oId mun," Ie suId. " goL grown bovs oIder LIun vou."
" LIougIL vou were LrvIng Lo kIII me," suId, mv Iund sLIII
exLended. " LIougIL vou Iud sLubbed me."
"WeII, don'L IIke u IoL oI bIckerIng und conIusIon mvseII," Ie suId,
uvoIdIng mv eves. And IL wus us LIougI LIe cIosIng oI IIs sLIckv Iund
over mIne wus u sIgnuI. Ieurd u sIrIII IIssIng Irom LIe boIIers beIInd
me und Lurned, IeurIng Brockwuv veII, " LoIe vou Lo wuLcI LIem
guuges. GIL over Lo LIe bIg vuIves, quIck!"
dusIed Ior wIere u serIes oI vuIve wIeeIs projecLed Irom LIe wuII
neur LIe crusIer, seeIng Brockwuv scrumbIIng uwuv In LIe oLIer
dIrecLIon, LIInkIng, WIere's Ie goIng? us reucIed LIe vuIves, und
IeurIng IIm veII, "Turn IL! Turn IL!"
"WIIcI?" veIIed, reucIIng.
"TIe wIILe one, IooI, LIe wIILe one!"
jumped, cuLcIIng IL und puIIIng down wILI uII mv weIgIL, IeeIIng
IL gIve. BuL LIIs onIv Increused LIe noIse und seemed Lo Ieur
Brockwuv IuugI us Iooked uround Lo see IIm scrumbIIng Ior LIe sLuIrs,
IIs Iunds cIuspIng LIe buck oI IIs Ieud, und IIs neck puIIed In cIose,
IIke u smuII bov wIo Ius LIrown u brIck InLo LIe uIr.
"Hev vou! Hev vou!" veIIed. "Hev!" BuL IL wus Loo IuLe. AII mv
movemenLs seemed Loo sIow, run LogeLIer. IeIL LIe wIeeI resIsLIng
und LrIed vuInIv Lo reverse IL und LrIed Lo IeL go, und IL sLIckIng Lo mv
puIms und mv IIngers sLIII und sLIckv, und Lurned, runnIng now,
seeIng LIe needIe on one oI LIe guuges swIngIng mudIv, IIke u beucon
gone ouL oI conLroI, und LrvIng Lo LIInk cIeurIv, mv eves durLIng Iere
und LIere LIrougI LIe room oI Lunks und mucIInes und up LIe sLuIrs so
Iur uwuv und IeurIng LIe cIeur new noLe urIsIng wIIIe seemed Lo run
swIILIv up un IncIIne und sIoL Iorwurd wILI sudden ucceIeruLIon InLo u
weL bIusL oI bIuck empLIness LIuL wus someIow u buLI oI wIILeness.
L wus u IuII InLo spuce LIuL seemed noL u IuII buL u suspensIon.
TIen u greuL weIgIL Iunded upon me und seemed Lo spruwI In un
InLervuI oI cIurILv beneuLI u pIIe oI broken mucIInerv, mv Ieud pressed
buck uguInsL u Iuge wIeeI, mv bodv spIuLLered wILI u sLInkIng goo.
SomewIere un engIne ground In IurIous IuLIIILv, gruLIng IoudIv unLII u
puIn sIoL uround LIe curve oI mv Ieud und bounced me oII InLo
bIuckness Ior u dIsLunce, onIv Lo sLrIke unoLIer puIn LIuL Iobbed me
buck. And In LIuL cIeur InsLunL oI conscIousness opened mv eves Lo u
bIIndIng IIusI.
HoIdIng on grImIv, couId Ieur LIe sound oI someone wudIng,
sIosIIng, neurbv, und un oId mun's gurruIous voIce suvIng, " LoIe 'em
LIese Iere voung NIneLeen-Hundred bovs uIn'L no good Ior LIe job.
TIev uIn'L goL LIe nerves. Nuw, sIr, LIev jusL uIn'L goL LIe nerves."
LrIed Lo speuk, Lo unswer, buL someLIIng Ieuvv moved uguIn, und
wus undersLundIng someLIIng IuIIv und LrvIng uguIn Lo unswer buL
seemed Lo sInk Lo LIe cenLer oI u Iuke oI Ieuvv wuLer und puuse,
LrunsIIxed und numb wILI LIe sense LIuL Iud IosL IrrevocubIv un
ImporLunL vIcLorv.
CIupLer 11
wus sILLIng In u coId, wIILe rIgId cIuIr und u mun wus IookIng uL
me ouL oI u brIgIL LIIrd eve LIuL gIowed Irom LIe cenLer oI IIs
IoreIeud. He reucIed ouL, LoucIIng mv skuII gIngerIv, und suId
someLIIng encourugIng, us LIougI were u cIIId. HIs IIngers wenL
uwuv.
"Tuke LIIs," Ie suId. "L's good Ior vou." swuIIowed. SuddenIv mv
skIn ILcIed, uII over. Iud on new overuIIs, sLrunge wIILe ones. TIe
LusLe run bILLer LIrougI mv mouLI. Mv IIngers LrembIed.
A LIIn voIce wILI u mIrror on LIe end oI IL suId, "How Is Ie?"
" don'L LIInk IL's unvLIIng serIous. MereIv sLunned."
"SIouId Ie be senL Iome now?"
"No, jusL Lo be cerLuIn we'II keep IIm Iere u Iew duvs. WunL Lo
keep IIm under observuLIon. TIen Ie muv Ieuve."
Now wus IvIng on u coL, LIe brIgIL eve sLIII burnIng InLo mIne,
uILIougI LIe mun wus gone. L wus quIeL und wus numb. cIosed mv
eves onIv Lo be uwukened.
"WIuL Is vour nume?" u voIce suId.
"Mv Ieud . . ." suId.
"Yes, buL vour nume. Address?"
"Mv Ieud-LIuL burnIng eve . . ." suId.
"Eve?"
"nsIde," suId.
"SIooL IIm up Ior un X-ruv," unoLIer voIce suId.
"Mv Ieud . . ."
"CureIuI!"
SomewIere u mucIIne begun Lo Ium und dIsLrusLed LIe mun und
womun ubove me.
TIev were IoIdIng me IIrm und IL wus IIerv und ubove IL uII kepL
IeurIng LIe openIng moLII oI BeeLIoven's IILI-LIree sIorL und one
Iong buzz, repeuLed uguIn und uguIn In vurvIng voIume, und wus
sLruggIIng und breukIng LIrougI, rIsIng up, Lo IInd mvseII IvIng on mv
buck wILI Lwo pInk-Iuced men IuugIIng down.
"Be quIeL now," one oI LIem suId IIrmIv. "You'II be uII rIgIL."
ruIsed mv eves, seeIng Lwo IndeIInILe voung women In wIILe, IookIng
down uL me. A LIIrd, u deserL oI IeuL wuves uwuv, suL uL u puneI urruved
wILI coIIs und dIuIs. WIere wus ? rom Iur beIow me u burber-cIuIr
LIumpIng begun und IeIL mvseII rIse on LIe LIp oI LIe sound Irom LIe
IIoor. A Iuce wus now IeveI wILI mIne, IookIng cIoseIv und suvIng
someLIIng wILIouL meunIng. A wIIrrIng begun LIuL snupped und
crucked wILI sLuLIc, und suddenIv seemed Lo be crusIed beLween LIe
IIoor und ceIIIng. Two Iorces Lore suvugeIv uL mv sLomucI und buck. A
IIusI oI coId-edged IeuL encIosed me. wus pounded beLween crusIIng
eIecLrIcuI pressures; pumped beLween IIve eIecLrodes IIke un uccordIon
beLween u pIuver's Iunds. Mv Iungs were compressed IIke u beIIows und
eucI LIme mv breuLI reLurned veIIed, puncLuuLIng LIe rIvLImIcuI
ucLIon oI LIe nodes.
"HusI, goddumIL," one oI LIe Iuces ordered. "We're LrvIng Lo geL
vou sLurLed uguIn. Now sIuL up!"
TIe voIce LIrobbed wILI Icv uuLIorILv und quIeLed und LrIed Lo
conLuIn LIe puIn. dIscovered now LIuL mv Ieud wus encIrcIed bv u
pIece oI coId meLuI IIke LIe Iron cup worn bv LIe occupunL oI un eIecLrIc
cIuIr. LrIed unsuccessIuIIv Lo sLruggIe, Lo crv ouL. BuL LIe peopIe were
so remoLe, LIe puIn so ImmedIuLe. A Iuced moved In und ouL oI LIe
cIrcIe oI IIgILs, peerIng Ior u momenL, LIen dIsuppeured. A IreckIed,
red-IuIred womun wILI goId nose-gIusses uppeured; LIen u mun wILI u
cIrcuIur mIrror uLLucIed Lo IIs IoreIeud-u docLor. Yes, Ie wus u docLor
und LIe women were nurses; IL wus comIng cIeur. wus In u IospILuI.
TIev wouId cure Ior me. L wus uII geured Lowurd LIe eusIng oI puIn.
IeIL LIunkIuI.
LrIed Lo remember Iow 'd goLLen Iere, buL noLIIng cume. Mv
mInd wus bIunk, us LIougI Iud jusL begun Lo IIve. WIen LIe nexL Iuce
uppeured suw LIe eves beIInd LIe LIIck gIusses bIInkIng us LIougI
noLIcIng me Ior LIe IIrsL LIme.
"You're uII rIgIL, bov. You're okuv. You jusL be puLIenL," suId LIe
voIce, IoIIow wILI proIound deLucImenL.
seemed Lo go uwuv; LIe IIgILs receded IIke u LuII-IIgIL rucIng
down u durk counLrv roud. couIdn'L IoIIow. A sIurp puIn sLubbed mv
sIouIder. LwIsLed ubouL on mv buck, IIgILIng someLIIng couIdn'L see.
TIen uILer u wIIIe mv vIsIon cIeured.
Now u mun sILLIng wILI IIs buck Lo me, munIpuIuLIng dIuIs on u
puneI. wunLed Lo cuII IIm, buL LIe IILI SvmpIonv rIvLIm rucked me,
und Ie seemed Loo serene und Loo Iur uwuv. BrIgIL meLuI burs were
beLween us und wIen sLruIned mv neck uround dIscovered LIuL
wus noL IvIng on un operuLIng LubIe buL In u kInd oI gIuss und nIckeI
box, LIe IId oI wIIcI wus propped open. WIv wus Iere?
"DocLor! DocLor!" cuIIed.
No unswer. PerIups Ie Iudn'L Ieurd, LIougIL, cuIIIng uguIn und
IeeIIng LIe sLubbIng puIses oI LIe mucIIne uguIn und IeeIIng mvseII
goIng under und IIgILIng uguInsL IL und comIng up Lo Ieur voIces
currvIng on u conversuLIon beIInd mv Ieud. TIe sLuLIc sounds becume
u quIeL drone. SLruIns oI musIc, u Sunduv uIr, drIILed Irom u dIsLunce.
WILI cIosed eves, bureIv breuLIIng wurded oII LIe puIn. TIe voIces
droned IurmonIousIv. Wus IL u rudIo Ieurd-u pIonogrupI? TIe vox
Iumunu oI u IIdden orgun? I so, wIuL orgun und wIere? IeIL wurm.
Green Iedges, duzzIIng wILI red wIId roses uppeured beIInd mv eves,
sLreLcIIng wILI u genLIe curvIng Lo un InIInILv empLv oI objecLs, u IImpId
bIue spuce. Scenes oI u sIuded Iuwn In summer drIILed pusL; suw u
unIIormed mIIILurv bund urruved decorousIv In concerL, eucI musIcIun
wILI weII-oIIed IuIr, Ieurd u sweeL-voIced LrumpeL renderIng "TIe HoIv
CILv" us Irom un ecIoIng dIsLunce, buoved bv u cIoIr oI muLed Iorns;
und ubove, LIe mockIng obbIIguLo oI u mockIng bIrd. IeIL gIddv. TIe
uIr seemed Lo grow LIIck wILI IIne wIILe gnuLs, IIIIIng mv eves, boIIIng
so LIIckIv LIuL LIe durk LrumpeLer breuLIed LIem In und expeIIed LIem
LIrougI LIe beII oI IIs goIden Iorn, u IIve wIILe cIoud mIxIng wILI LIe
Lones upon LIe LorpId uIr.
cume buck. TIe voIces sLIII droned ubove me und dIsIIked LIem.
WIv dIdn'L LIev go uwuv? Smug ones. OI, docLor, LIougIL drowsIIv,
dId vou ever wude In u brook beIore breukIusL? Ever cIew on sugur
cune? You know, doc, LIe sume IuII duv IIrsL suw LIe Iounds cIusIng
bIuck men In sLrIpes und cIuIns mv grundmoLIer suL wILI me und sung
wILI LwInkIIng eves:
"GodumIgILv mude u monkev
GodumIgILv mude u wIuIe
And GodumIgILv mude u 'guLor
WILI IIckevs uII over IIs LuII . . ."
Or vou, nurse, dId vou know LIuL wIen vou sLroIIed In pInk
orgundv und pIcLure IuL beLween LIe rows oI cupe jusmIne, cooIng Lo
vour beuu In u druwI us LIIck us sorgIum, we IILLIe bIuck bovs IIdden
snug In LIe busIes cuIIed ouL so Ioud LIuL vou duren'L Ieur:
"DId vou ever see MIss MurgureL boII wuLer?
Mun, sIe IIsses u wonderIuI sLreum,
SevenLeen mIIes und u quurLer,
Mun, und vou cun'L see Ier poL Ior LIe sLeum . . ."
BuL now LIe musIc becume u dIsLIncL wuII oI IemuIe puIn. opened
mv eves. GIuss und meLuI IIouLed ubove me.
"How ure vou IeeIIng, bov?" u voIce suId.
A puIr oI eves peered down LIrougI Ienses us LIIck us LIe boLLom
oI u Cocu-CoIu boLLIe, eves proLrudIng, IumInous und veIned, IIke un oId
bIoIogv specImen preserved In uIcoIoI.
" don'L Iuve enougI room," suId ungrIIv.
"OI, LIuL's u necessurv purL oI LIe LreuLmenL."
"BuL need more room," InsIsLed. "'m crumped."
"Don'L worrv ubouL IL, bov. You'II geL used Lo IL uILer u wIIIe. How
Is vour sLomucI und Ieud?"
"SLomucI?"
"Yes, und vour Ieud?"
" don'L know," suId, reuIIzIng LIuL couId IeeI noLIIng bevond
LIe pressure uround mv Ieud und LIe Lender surIuce oI mv bodv. YeL
mv senses seemed Lo Iocus sIurpIv.
" don'L IeeI IL," crIed, uIurmed.
"AIu! You see! Mv IILLIe gudgeL wIII soIve evervLIIng!" Ie
expIoded.
" don'L know," unoLIer voIce suId. " LIInk sLIII preIer surgerv.
And In LIIs cuse especIuIIv, wILI LIIs, uI . . . buckground, 'm noL so
sure LIuL don'L beIIeve In LIe eIIecLIveness oI sImpIe pruver."
"Nonsense, Irom now on do vour pruvIng Lo mv IILLIe mucIIne. 'II
deIIver LIe cure."
" don'L know, buL beIIeve IL u mIsLuke Lo ussume LIuL soIuLIons-
cures, LIuL Is-LIuL uppIv In, uI . . . prImILIve InsLunces, ure, uI . . .
equuIIv eIIecLIve wIen more udvunced condILIons ure In quesLIon.
Suppose IL were u New EngIunder wILI u Hurvurd buckground?"
"Now vou're urguIng poIILIcs," LIe IIrsL voIce suId bunLerIngIv.
"OI, no, buL IL Is u probIem."
IIsLened wILI growIng uneusIness Lo LIe conversuLIon IuzzIng
uwuv Lo u wIIsper. TIeIr sImpIesL words seemed Lo reIer Lo someLIIng
eIse, us dId munv oI LIe noLIons LIuL unIurIed LIrougI mv Ieud.
wusn'L sure wIeLIer LIev were LuIkIng ubouL me or someone eIse. Some
oI IL sounded IIke u dIscussIon oI IIsLorv . . .
"TIe mucIIne wIII produce LIe resuILs oI u preIronLuI IoboLomv
wILIouL LIe neguLIve eIIecLs oI LIe knIIe," LIe voIce suId. "You see,
InsLeud oI severIng LIe preIronLuI Iobe, u sIngIe Iobe, LIuL Is, we uppIv
pressure In LIe proper degrees Lo LIe mujor cenLers oI nerve conLroI-
our concepL Is GesLuIL-und LIe resuIL Is us compIeLe u cIunge oI
personuIILv us vou'II IInd In vour Iumous IuIrv-LuIe cuses oI crImInuIs
LrunsIormed InLo umIubIe IeIIows uILer uII LIuL bIoodv busIness oI u
bruIn operuLIon. And wIuL's more," LIe voIce wenL on LrIumpIunLIv,
"LIe puLIenL Is boLI pIvsIcuIIv und neuruIIv wIoIe."
"BuL wIuL oI IIs psvcIoIogv?"
"AbsoIuLeIv oI no ImporLunce!" LIe voIce suId. "TIe puLIenL wIII
IIve us Ie Ius Lo IIve, und wILI ubsoIuLe InLegrILv. WIo couId usk more?
He'II experIence no mujor conIIIcL oI moLIves, und wIuL Is even beLLer,
socIeLv wIII suIIer no LruumuLu on IIs uccounL."
TIere wus u puuse. A pen scruLcIed upon puper. TIen, "WIv noL
cusLruLIon, docLor?" u voIce usked wuggIsIIv, cuusIng me Lo sLurL, u puIn
LeurIng LIrougI me.
"TIere goes vour Iove oI bIood uguIn," LIe IIrsL voIce IuugIed.
"WIuL's LIuL deIInILIon oI u surgeon, 'A buLcIer wILI u bud
conscIence'?"
TIev IuugIed.
"L's noL so Iunnv. L wouId be more scIenLIIIc Lo Lrv Lo deIIne LIe
cuse. L Ius been deveIopIng some LIree Iundred veurs -"
"DeIIne? HeII, mun, we know uII LIuL."
"TIen wIv don'L vou Lrv more currenL?"
"You suggesL IL?"
" do, wIv noL?"
"BuL Isn'L LIere u dunger . . . ?" LIe voIce LruIIed oII.
Ieurd LIem move uwuv; u cIuIr scruped. TIe mucIIne droned,
und knew deIInILeIv LIuL LIev were dIscussIng me und sLeeIed mvseII
Ior LIe sIocks, buL wus bIusLed neverLIeIess. TIe puIse cume swIIL und
sLuccuLo, IncreusIng gruduuIIv unLII IuIrIv dunced beLween LIe nodes.
Mv LeeLI cIuLLered. cIosed mv eves und bIL mv IIps Lo smoLIer mv
screums. Wurm bIood IIIIed mv mouLI. BeLween mv IIds suw u cIrcIe
oI Iunds und Iuces, duzzIIng wILI IIgIL. Some were scrIbbIIng upon
cIurLs.
"ook, Ie's duncIng," someone cuIIed.
"No, reuIIv?"
An oIIv Iuce Iooked In. "TIev reuIIv do Iuve rIvLIm, don'L LIev?
GeL IoL, bov! GeL IoL!" IL suId wILI u IuugI.
And suddenIv mv bewIIdermenL suspended und wunLed Lo be
ungrv, murderousIv ungrv. BuL someIow LIe puIse oI currenL smusIIng
LIrougI mv bodv prevenLed me. SomeLIIng Iud been dIsconnecLed.
or LIougI Iud seIdom used mv cupucILIes Ior unger und IndIgnuLIon,
Iud no doubL LIuL possessed LIem; und, IIke u mun wIo knows LIuL
Ie musL IIgIL, wIeLIer ungrv or noL, wIen cuIIed u son oI u bILcI, LrIed
Lo ImugIne mvseII ungrv-onIv Lo dIscover u deeper sense oI
remoLeness. wus bevond unger. wus onIv bewIIdered. And LIose
ubove seemed Lo sense IL. TIere wus no uvoIdIng LIe sIock und roIIed
wILI LIe ugILuLed LIde, ouL InLo LIe bIuckness.
WIen emerged, LIe IIgILs were sLIII LIere. Iuv beneuLI LIe sIub
oI gIuss, IeeIIng deIIuLed. AII mv IImbs seemed umpuLuLed. L wus verv
wurm. A dIm wIILe ceIIIng sLreLcIed Iur ubove me. Mv eves were
swImmIng wILI Leurs. WIv, dIdn'L know. L worrIed me. wunLed Lo
knock on LIe gIuss Lo uLLrucL uLLenLIon, buL couIdn'L move. TIe
sIIgILesL eIIorL, IurdIv more LIun desIre, LIred me. Iuv experIencIng
LIe vugue processes oI mv bodv. seemed Lo Iuve IosL uII sense oI
proporLIon. WIere dId mv bodv end und LIe crvsLuI und wIILe worId
begIn? TIougILs evuded me, IIdIng In LIe vusL sLreLcI oI cIInIcuI
wIILeness Lo wIIcI seemed connecLed onIv bv u scuIe oI recedIng
gruvs. No sounds bevond LIe sIuggIsI Inner rour oI LIe bIood. couIdn'L
open mv eves. seemed Lo exIsL In some oLIer dImensIon, uLLerIv uIone;
unLII uILer u wIIIe u nurse benL down und Iorced u wurm IIuId beLween
mv IIps. gugged, swuIIowed, IeeIIng LIe IIuId course sIowIv Lo mv
vugue mIddIe. A Iuge IrIdescenL bubbIe seemed Lo enIoId me. GenLIe
Iunds moved over me, brIngIng vugue ImpressIons oI memorv. wus
Iuved wILI wurm IIquIds, IeIL genLIe Iunds move LIrougI LIe IndeIInILe
IImILs oI mv IIesI. TIe sLerIIe und weIgILIess LexLure oI u sIeeL enIoIded
me. IeIL mvseII bounce, suII oII IIke u buII LIrown over LIe rooI InLo
mIsL, sLrIkIng u IIdden wuII bevond u pIIe oI broken mucIInerv und
suIIIng buck. How Iong IL Look, dIdn'L know. BuL now ubove LIe
movemenL oI LIe Iunds Ieurd u IrIendIv voIce, uLLerIng IumIIIur words
Lo wIIcI couId ussIgn no meunIng. IIsLened InLenseIv, uwure oI LIe
Iorm und movemenL oI senLences und gruspIng LIe now subLIe
rIvLImIcuI dIIIerences beLween progressIons oI sound LIuL quesLIoned
und LIose LIuL mude u sLuLemenL. BuL sLIII LIeIr meunIngs were IosL In
LIe vusL wIILeness In wIIcI mvseII wus IosL.
OLIer voIces emerged. uces Iovered ubove me IIke InscruLubIe
IIsI peerIng mvopIcuIIv LIrougI u gIuss uquurIum wuII. suw LIem
suspended moLIonIess ubove me, LIen Lwo IIouLIng oII, IIrsL LIeIr Ieuds,
LIen LIe LIps oI LIeIr IInIIke IIngers, movIng dreumIIv Irom LIe Lop oI
LIe cuse. A LIorougIIv mvsLerIous comIng und goIng, IIke LIe surgIng oI
LorpId LIdes. wuLcIed LIe Lwo muke IurIous movemenLs wILI LIeIr
mouLIs. dIdn'L undersLund. TIev LrIed uguIn, LIe meunIng sLIII
escupIng me. IeIL uneusv. suw u scrIbbIed curd, IeId over me. AII u
jumbIe oI uIpIubeLs. TIev consuILed IeuLedIv. SomeIow IeIL
responsIbIe. A LerrIbIe sense oI IoneIIness cume over me; LIev seemed
Lo enucL u mvsLerIous punLomIme. And seeIng LIem Irom LIIs ungIe wus
dIsLurbIng. TIev uppeured uLLerIv sLupId und dIdn'L IIke IL. L wusn'L
rIgIL. couId see smuL In one docLor's nose; u nurse Iud Lwo IIubbv
cIIns. OLIer Iuces cume up, LIeIr mouLIs workIng wILI soundIess Iurv.
BuL we ure uII Iumun, LIougIL, wonderIng wIuL meunL.
A mun dressed In bIuck uppeured, u Iong-IuIred IeIIow, wIose
pIercIng eves Iooked down upon me ouL oI un InLense und IrIendIv Iuce.
TIe oLIers Iovered ubouL IIm, LIeIr eves unxIous us Ie uILernuLeIv
peered uL me und consuILed mv cIurL. TIen Ie scrIbbIed someLIIng on
u Iurge curd und LIrusL IL beIore mv eves:
WHAT S YOUR NAME?
A Lremor sIook me; IL wus us LIougI Ie Iud suddenIv gIven u
nume Lo, Iud orgunIzed LIe vugueness LIuL drIILed LIrougI mv Ieud,
und wus overcome wILI swIIL sIume. reuIIzed LIuL no Ionger knew
mv own nume. sIuL mv eves und sIook mv Ieud wILI sorrow. Here
wus LIe IIrsL wurm uLLempL Lo communIcuLe wILI me und wus IuIIIng.
LrIed uguIn, pIungIng InLo LIe bIuckness oI mv mInd. L wus no use;
Iound noLIIng buL puIn. suw LIe curd uguIn und Ie poInLed sIowIv Lo
eucI word:
WHAT . . . S . . . YOUR . . . NAME?
LrIed desperuLeIv, dIvIng beIow LIe bIuckness unLII wus IImp
wILI IuLIgue. L wus us LIougI u veIn Iud been opened und mv energv
svpIoned uwuv; couId onIv sLure buck muLeIv. BuL wILI un IrrILuLIng
bursL oI ucLIvILv Ie gesLured Ior unoLIer curd und wroLe:
WHO . . . ARE . . . YOU?
SomeLIIng InsIde me Lurned wILI u sIuggIsI excILemenL. TIIs
pIrusIng oI LIe quesLIon seemed Lo seL oII u serIes oI weuk und dIsLunL
IIgILs wIere LIe oLIer Iud LIrown u spurk LIuL IuIIed. WIo um ?
usked mvseII. BuL IL wus IIke LrvIng Lo IdenLIIv one purLIcuIur ceII LIuL
coursed LIrougI LIe LorpId veIns oI mv bodv. Muvbe wus jusL LIIs
bIuckness und bewIIdermenL und puIn, buL LIuL seemed Iess IIke u
suILubIe unswer LIun someLIIng 'd reud somewIere.
TIe curd wus buck uguIn:
WHAT S YOUR MOTHER'S NAME?
MoLIer, wIo wus mv moLIer? MoLIer, LIe one wIo screums wIen
vou suIIer-buL wIo? TIIs wus sLupId, vou uIwuvs knew vour moLIer's
nume. WIo wus IL LIuL screumed? MoLIer? BuL LIe screum cume Irom
LIe mucIIne. A mucIIne mv moLIer? . . . CIeurIv, wus ouL oI mv Ieud.
He sIoL quesLIons uL me: WIere were vou born? Trv Lo LIInk oI
vour nume.
LrIed, LIInkIng vuInIv oI munv numes, buL none seemed Lo IIL,
und veL IL wus us LIougI wus someIow u purL oI uII oI LIem, Iud
become submerged wILIIn LIem und IosL.
You musL remember, LIe pIucurd reud. BuL IL wus useIess. EucI
LIme Iound mvseII buck In LIe cIIngIng wIILe mIsL und mv nume jusL
bevond mv IIngerLIps. sIook mv Ieud und wuLcIed IIm dIsuppeur Ior
u momenL und reLurn wILI u compunIon, u sIorL, scIoIurIv IookIng mun
wIo sLured uL me wILI u bIunk expressIon. wuLcIed IIm produce u
cIIId's sIuLe und u pIece oI cIuIk, wrILIng upon IL:
WHO WAS YOUR MOTHER?
Iooked uL IIm, IeeIIng u quIck dIsIIke und LIInkIng, IuII In
umusemenL, don'L pIuv LIe dozens. And Iow's vour oId Iudv Loduv?
THNK
sLured, seeIng IIm Irown und wrILe u Iong LIme. TIe sIuLe wus
IIIIed wILI meunIngIess numes.
smIIed, seeIng IIs eves bIuze wILI unnovunce. OId rIendIv uce
suId someLIIng. TIe new mun wroLe u quesLIon uL wIIcI sLured In
wIde-eved umuzemenL:
WHO WAS BUCKEYE THE RABBT?
wus IIIIed wILI LurmoII. WIv sIouId Ie LIInk oI LIuL? He poInLed
Lo LIe quesLIon, word bv word. IuugIed, deep, deep InsIde me, gIddv
wILI LIe deIIgIL oI seII-dIscoverv und LIe desIre Lo IIde IL. SomeIow
wus Buckeve LIe RubbIL . . . or Iud been, wIen us cIIIdren we dunced
und sung bureIooL In LIe dusLv sLreeLs:
Buckeve LIe RubbIL
SIuke IL, sIuke IL
Buckeve LIe RubbIL
Breuk IL, breuk IL . . .
YeL, couId noL brIng mvseII Lo udmIL IL, IL wus Loo rIdIcuIous-und
someIow Loo dungerous. L wus unnovIng LIuL Ie Iud IIL upon un oId
IdenLILv und sIook mv Ieud, seeIng IIm purse IIs IIps und eve me
sIurpIv.
BOY, WHO WAS BRER RABBT?
He wus vour moLIer's buck-door mun, LIougIL. Anvone knew
LIev were one und LIe sume: "Buckeve" wIen vou were verv voung und
IId vourseII beIInd wIde InnocenL eves; "Brer," wIen vou were oIder.
BuL wIv wus Ie pIuvIng uround wILI LIese cIIIdIsI numes? DId LIev
LIInk wus u cIIId? WIv dIdn'L LIev Ieuve me uIone? wouId remember
soon enougI wIen LIev IeL me ouL oI LIe mucIIne . . . A puIm smucked
sIurpIv upon LIe gIuss, buL wus LIred oI LIem. YeL us mv eves Iocused
upon OId rIendIv uce Ie seemed pIeused. couIdn'L undersLund IL,
buL LIere Ie wus, smIIIng und IeuvIng wILrr LIe new ussIsLunL.
eIL uIone, Iuv IreLLIng over mv IdenLILv. suspecLed LIuL wus
reuIIv pIuvIng u gume wILI mvseII und LIuL LIev were LukIng purL. A
kInd oI combuL. AcLuuIIv LIev knew us weII us , und Ior some reuson
preIerred noL Lo Iuce IL. L wus IrrILuLIng, und IL mude me IeeI sIv und
uIerL. wouId soIve LIe mvsLerv LIe nexL InsLunL. ImugIned mvseII
wIIrIIng ubouL In mv mInd IIke un oId mun uLLempLIng Lo cuLcI u smuII
bov In some mIscIIeI, LIInkIng, WIo um ? L wus no good. IeIL IIke u
cIown. Nor wus up Lo beIng boLI crImInuI und deLecLIve-LIougI wIv
crImInuI dIdn'L know.
IeII Lo pIoLLIng wuvs oI sIorL-cIrcuILIng LIe mucIIne. PerIups II
sIIILed mv bodv ubouL so LIuL LIe Lwo nodes wouId come LogeLIer-No,
noL onIv wus LIere no room buL IL mIgIL eIecLrocuLe me. sIuddered.
WIoever eIse wus, wus no Sumson. Iud no desIre Lo desLrov mvseII
even II IL desLroved LIe mucIIne; wunLed Ireedom, noL desLrucLIon. L
wus exIuusLIng, Ior no muLLer wIuL LIe scIeme conceIved, LIere wus
one consLunL IIuw-mvseII. TIere wus no geLLIng uround IL. couId no
more escupe LIun couId LIInk oI mv IdenLILv. PerIups, LIougIL, LIe
Lwo LIIngs ure InvoIved wILI eucI oLIer. WIen dIscover wIo um, 'II
be Iree.
L wus us LIougI mv LIougILs oI escupe Iud uIerLed LIem. Iooked
up Lo see Lwo ugILuLed pIvsIcIuns und u nurse, und LIougIL, L's Loo IuLe
now, und Iuv In u veII oI sweuL wuLcIIng LIem munIpuIuLe LIe conLroIs.
wus bruced Ior LIe usuuI sIock, buL noLIIng Iuppened. nsLeud suw
LIeIr Iunds uL LIe IId, IoosenIng LIe boILs, und beIore couId reucL LIev
Iud opened LIe IId und puIIed me erecL.
"WIuL's Iuppened?" begun, seeIng LIe nurse puuse Lo Iook uL me.
"WeII?" sIe suId.
Mv mouLI worked soundIessIv.
"Come on, geL IL ouL," sIe suId.
"WIuL IospILuI Is LIIs?" suId.
"L's LIe IucLorv IospILuI," sIe suId. "Now be quIeL."
TIev were uround me now, InspecLIng mv bodv, und wuLcIed
wILI growIng bewIIdermenL, LIInkIng, wIuL Is u IucLorv IospILuI?
IeIL u Lug uL mv beIIv und Iooked down Lo see one oI LIe
pIvsIcIuns puII LIe cord wIIcI wus uLLucIed Lo LIe sLomucI node,
jerkIng me Iorwurd.
"WIuL Is LIIs?" suId.
"GeL LIe sIeurs," Ie suId.
"Sure," LIe oLIer suId. "eL's noL wusLe LIme."
recoIIed InwurdIv us LIougI LIe cord were purL oI me. TIen LIev
Iud IL Iree und LIe nurse cIIpped LIrougI LIe beIIv bund und removed
LIe Ieuvv node. opened mv mouLI Lo speuk buL one oI LIe pIvsIcIuns
sIook IIs Ieud. TIev worked swIILIv. TIe nodes oII, LIe nurse wenL
over me wILI rubbIng uIcoIoI. TIen wus LoId Lo cIImb ouL oI LIe cuse.
Iooked Irom Iuce Lo Iuce, overcome wILI IndecIsIon. or now LIuL IL
uppeured LIuL wus beIng Ireed, dured noL beIIeve IL. WIuL II LIev
were LrunsIerrIng me Lo some even more puInIuI mucIIne? suL LIere,
reIusIng Lo move. SIouId sLruggIe uguInsL LIem?
"Tuke IIs urm," one oI LIem suId.
" cun do IL," suId, cIImbIng IeurIuIIv ouL.
wus LoId Lo sLund wIIIe LIev wenL over mv bodv wILI LIe
sLeLIoscope.
"How's LIe urLIcuIuLIon?" LIe one wILI LIe cIurL suId us LIe oLIer
exumIned mv sIouIder.
"PerIecL," Ie suId.
couId IeeI u LIgILness LIere buL no puIn.
"'d suv Ie's surprIsIngIv sLrong, consIderIng," LIe oLIer suId.
"SIuII we cuII In DrexeI? L seems ruLIer unusuuI Ior IIm Lo be so
sLrong."
"No, jusL noLe IL on LIe cIurL."
"AII rIgIL, nurse, gIve IIm IIs cIoLIes."
"WIuL ure vou goIng Lo do wILI me?" suId. SIe Iunded me cIeun
undercIoLIIng und u puIr oI wIILe overuIIs.
"No quesLIons," sIe suId. "JusL dress us quIckIv us possIbIe."
TIe uIr ouLsIde LIe mucIIne seemed exLremenIv rure. WIen benL
over Lo LIe mv sIoes LIougIL wouId IuInL, buL IougIL IL oII. sLood
sIukIIv und LIev Iooked me up und down.
"WeII, bov, IL Iooks us LIougI vou're cured," one oI LIem suId.
"You're u new mun. You cume LIrougI IIne. Come wILI us," Ie suId.
We wenL sIowIv ouL oI LIe room und down u Iong wIILe corrIdor
InLo un eIevuLor, LIen swIILIv down LIree IIoors Lo u recepLIon room
wILI rows oI cIuIrs. AL LIe IronL were u number oI prIvuLe oIIIces wILI
IrosLed gIuss doors und wuIIs.
"SIL down LIere," LIev suId. "TIe dIrecLor wIII see vou sIorLIv."
suL, seeIng LIem dIsuppeur InsIde one oI LIe oIIIces Ior u second
und emerge, pussIng me wILIouL u word. LrembIed IIke u IeuI. Were
LIev reuIIv IreeIng me? Mv Ieud spun. Iooked uL mv wIILe overuIIs.
TIe nurse suId LIuL LIIs wus LIe IucLorv IospILuI . . . WIv couIdn'L
remember wIuL kInd oI IucLorv IL wus? And wIv u IucLorv IospILuI? Yes
. . . dId remember some vugue IucLorv; perIups wus beIng senL buck
LIere. Yes, und Ie'd spoken oI LIe dIrecLor InsLeud oI LIe Ieud docLor;
couId LIev be one und LIe sume? PerIups wus In LIe IucLorv uIreudv.
IIsLened buL couId Ieur no mucIInerv.
ACROSS LIe room u newspuper Iuv on u cIuIr, buL wus Loo
concerned Lo geL IL. SomewIere u Iun droned. TIen one oI LIe doors
wILI IrosLed gIuss wus opened und suw u LuII uusLere-IookIng mun In u
wIILe couL, beckonIng Lo me wILI u cIurL.
"Come," Ie suId.
goL up und wenL pusL IIm InLo u Iurge sImpIv IurnIsIed oIIIce,
LIInkIng, Now, 'II know. Now.
"SIL down," Ie suId.
eused mvseII InLo LIe cIuIr besIde IIs desk. He wuLcIed me wILI
u cuIm, scIenLIIIc guze.
"WIuL Is vour nume? OI Iere, Iuve IL," Ie suId, sLudvIng LIe
cIurL. And IL wus us LIougI someone InsIde oI me LrIed Lo LeII IIm Lo be
sIIenL, buL uIreudv Ie Iud cuIIed mv nume und Ieurd mvseII suv, "OI!"
us u puIn sLubbed LIrougI mv Ieud und sIoL Lo mv IeeL und Iooked
wIIdIv uround me und suL down und goL up und down uguIn verv IusL,
rememberIng. don'L know wIv dId IL, buL suddenIv suw IIm
IookIng uL me InLenLIv, und sLuved down LIIs LIme.
He begun uskIng quesLIons und couId Ieur mvseII repIvIng
IIuenLIv, LIougI InsIde wus reeIIng wILI swIILIv cIungIng emoLIonuI
Imuges LIuL sIrIIIed und cIuLLered, IIke u sound-Lruck reversed uL IIgI
speed.
"WeII, mv bov," Ie suId, "vou're cured. We ure goIng Lo reIeuse
vou. How does LIuL sLrIke vou?"
SuddenIv dIdn'L know. noLIced u compunv cuIendur besIde u
sLeLIoscope und u mInIuLure sIIver puInL brusI. DId Ie meun Irom LIe
IospILuI or Irom LIe job? . . .
"SIr?" suId.
" suId, Iow does LIuL sLrIke vou?"
"AII rIgIL, sIr," suId In un unreuI voIce. "'II be gIud Lo geL buck Lo
work."
He Iooked uL LIe cIurL, IrownIng. "You'II be reIeused, buL 'm
uIruId LIuL vou'II be dIsuppoInLed ubouL LIe work," Ie suId.
"WIuL do vou meun, sIr?"
"You've been LIrougI u severe experIence," Ie suId. "You uren'L
reudv Ior LIe rIgors oI IndusLrv. Now wunL vou Lo resL, underLuke u
perIod oI convuIescence. You need Lo become reudjusLed und geL vour
sLrengLI buck."
"BuL, sIr -"
"You musLn'L Lrv Lo go Loo IusL. You're gIud Lo be reIeused, ure vou
noL?"
"OI, ves. BuL Iow sIuII IIve?"
"Ive?" IIs evebrows ruIsed und Iowered. "Tuke unoLIer job," Ie
suId. "SomeLIIng eusIer, quIeLer. SomeLIIng Ior wIIcI vou're beLLer
prepured."
"Prepured?" Iooked uL IIm, LIInkIng, s Ie In on IL Loo? "'II Luke
unvLIIng, sIr," suId.
"TIuL Isn'L LIe probIem, mv bov. You jusL uren'L prepured Ior work
under our IndusLrIuI condILIons. uLer, perIups, buL noL now. And
remember, vou'II be udequuLeIv compensuLed Ior vour experIence."
"CompensuLed, sIr?"
"OI, ves," Ie suId. "We IoIIow u poIIcv oI enIIgILened
IumunILurIunIsm; uII our empIovees ure uuLomuLIcuIIv Insured. You
Iuve onIv Lo sIgn u Iew pupers."
"WIuL kInd oI pupers, sIr?"
"We requIre un uIIIduvIL reIeusIng LIe compunv oI responsIbIIILv,"
Ie suId. "Yours wus u dIIIIcuIL cuse, und u number oI specIuIIsLs Iud Lo
be cuIIed In. BuL, uILer uII, unv new occupuLIon Ius ILs Iuzurds. TIev ure
purL oI growIng up, oI becomIng udjusLed, us IL were. One Lukes u
cIunce und wIIIe some ure prepured, oLIers ure noL."
Iooked uL IIs IIned Iuce. Wus Ie docLor, IucLorv oIIIcIuI, or boLI?
couIdn'L geL IL; und now Ie seemed Lo move buck und IorLI ucross mv
IIeId oI vIsIon, uILIougI Ie suL perIecLIv cuIm In IIs cIuIr.
L cume ouL oI ILseII: "Do vou know Mr. NorLon, sIr?" suId.
"NorLon?" HIs brows knILLed. "WIuL NorLon Is LIIs?"
TIen IL wus us LIougI Iudn'L usked IIm; LIe nume sounded
sLrunge. run mv Iund over mv eves.
"'m sorrv," suId. "L occurred Lo me LIuL vou mIgIL. He wus jusL
u mun used Lo know."
" see. WeII"-Ie pIcked up some pupers-"so LIuL's LIe wuv IL Is,
mv bov. A IILLIe IuLer perIups we'II be ubIe Lo do someLIIng. You muv
Luke LIe pupers uIong II vou wIsI. JusL muII LIem Lo us. Your cIeck wIII
be senL upon LIeIr reLurn. MeunwIIIe, Luke us mucI LIme us vou IIke.
You'II IInd LIuL we ure perIecLIv IuIr."
Look LIe IoIded pupers und Iooked uL IIm Ior wIuL seemed Lo be
Loo Iong u LIme. He seemed Lo wuver. TIen Ieurd mvseII suv, "Do vou
know IIm?" mv voIce rIsIng.
"WIo?"
"Mr. NorLon," suId. "Mr. NorLon!"
"OI, wIv, no."
"No," suId, "no one knows unvbodv und IL wus Loo Iong u LIme
ugo."
He Irowned und IuugIed. "TIev pIcked poor RobIn cIeun," suId.
"Do vou Iuppen Lo know BIed?"
He Iooked uL me, IIs Ieud Lo one sIde. "Are LIese peopIe IrIends oI
vours?"
"rIends? OI, ves," suId, "we're uII good IrIends. BuddIes Irom
wuv buck. BuL don'L suppose we geL uround In LIe sume cIrcIes."
HIs eves wIdened. "No," Ie suId, " don'L suppose we do. However,
good IrIends ure vuIuubIe Lo Iuve."
IeIL IIgIL-Ieuded und sLurLed Lo IuugI und Ie seemed Lo wuver
uguIn und LIougIL oI uskIng IIm ubouL Emerson, buL now Ie wus
cIeurIng IIs LIrouL und IndIcuLIng LIuL Ie wus IInIsIed.
puL LIe IoIded pupers In mv overuIIs und sLurLed ouL. TIe door
bevond LIe rows oI cIuIrs seemed Iur uwuv.
"Tuke cure oI vourseII," Ie suId.
"And vou," suId, LIInkIng, IL's LIme, IL's pusL LIme.
TurnIng ubrupLIv, wenL weukIv buck Lo LIe desk, seeIng IIm
IookIng up uL me wILI IIs sLeudv scIenLIIIc guze. wus overcome wILI
ceremonIuI IeeIIngs buL unubIe Lo remember LIe proper IormuIu. So us
deIIberuLeIv exLended mv Iund IougIL down IuugILer wILI u cougI.
"L's been quILe pIeusunL, our IILLIe puIuver, sIr," suId. IIsLened Lo
mvseII und Lo IIs unswer.
"Yes, Indeed," Ie suId.
He sIook mv Iund gruveIv, wILIouL surprIse or dIsLusLe. Iooked
down, Ie wus LIere somewIere beIInd LIe IIned Iuce und ouLsLreLcIed
Iund.
"And now our puIuver Is IInIsIed," suId. "Good-bve."
He ruIsed IIs Iund. "Good-bve," Ie suId, IIs voIce noncommILLuI.
euvIng IIm und goIng ouL InLo LIe puInL-IumIng uIr Iud LIe
IeeIIng LIuL Iud been LuIkIng bevond mvseII, Iud used words und
expressed uLLILudes noL mv own, LIuL wus In LIe grIp oI some uIIen
personuIILv Iodged deep wILIIn me. Ike LIe servunL ubouL wIom 'd
reud In psvcIoIogv cIuss wIo, durIng u Lrunce, Iud recILed puges oI
Greek pIIIosopIv wIIcI sIe Iud overIeurd one duv wIIIe sIe worked.
L wus us LIougI were ucLIng ouL u scene Irom some cruzv movIe. Or
perIups wus cuLcIIng up wILI mvseII und Iud puL InLo words IeeIIngs
wIIcI Iud IILIerLo suppressed. Or wus IL, LIougIL, sLurLIng up LIe
wuIk, LIuL wus no Ionger uIruId? sLopped, IookIng uL LIe buIIdIngs
down LIe brIgIL sLreeL sIunLIng wILI sun und sIude. wus no Ionger
uIruId. NoL oI ImporLunL men, noL oI LrusLees und sucI; Ior knowIng
now LIuL LIere wus noLIIng wIIcI couId expecL Irom LIem, LIere wus
no reuson Lo be uIruId. Wus LIuL IL? IeIL IIgIL-Ieuded, mv eurs were
rIngIng. wenL on.
AIong LIe wuIk LIe buIIdIngs rose, unIIorm und cIose LogeLIer. L
wus duv's end now und on Lop oI everv buIIdIng LIe IIugs were IIuLLerIng
und dIvIng down, coIIupsIng. And IeIL LIuL wouId IuII, Iud IuIIen,
moved now us uguInsL u currenL sweepIng swIILIv uguInsL me. OuL oI LIe
grounds und up LIe sLreeL Iound LIe brIdge bv wIIcI 'd come, buL LIe
sLuIrs IeudIng buck Lo LIe cur LIuL crossed LIe Lop were Loo dIzzIIv sLeep
Lo cIImb, swIm or IIv, und Iound u subwuv InsLeud.
TIIngs wIIrIed Loo IusL uround me. Mv mInd wenL uILernuLeIv
brIgIL und bIunk In sIow roIIIng wuves. We, Ie, IIm-mv mInd und -
were no Ionger geLLIng uround In LIe sume cIrcIes. Nor mv bodv eILIer.
Across LIe uIsIe u voung pIuLInum bIonde nIbbIed uL u red DeIIcIous
uppIe us sLuLIon IIgILs rIppIed pusL beIInd Ier. TIe LruIn pIunged.
dropped LIrougI LIe rour, gIddv und vucuum-mInded, sucked under
und ouL InLo IuLe uILernoon HurIem.
CIupLer 1z
WIen cume ouL oI LIe subwuv, enox Avenue seemed Lo cureen
uwuv Irom me uL u drunken ungIe, und Iocused upon LIe LeeLerIng
scene wILI wIId, InIunL's eves, mv Ieud LIrobbIng. Two Iuge women
wILI spoIIed-creum compIexIons seemed Lo sLruggIe wILI LIeIr mussIve
bodIes us LIev cume pusL, LIeIr IIowered IIps LrembIIng IIke
LIreuLenIng IIumes. OuL ucross LIe wuIk beIore me LIev moved, und u
brIgIL orunge sIunL oI sun seemed Lo boII up und suw mvseII goIng
down, mv Iegs wuLerv beneuLI me, buL mv Ieud cIeur, Loo cIeur,
recordIng LIe crowd swervIng uround me: Iegs, IeeL, eves, Iunds, benL
knees, scuIIed sIoes, LeeLIv-eved excILemenL; und some movIng on
unIuILIng.
And LIe bIg durk womun suvIng, Bov, Is vou uII rIgIL, wIuL's
wrong? In u Iuskv-voIced conLruILo. And me suvIng, 'm uII rIgIL, jusL
weuk, und LrvIng Lo sLund, und Ier suvIng, WIv don'L v'uII sLund buck
und IeL LIe mun breuLIe? SLund buck LIere v'uII, und now ecIoed bv un
oIIIcIuI Lone, Keep movIng, breuk IL up. And sIe on one sIde und u mun
on LIe oLIer, IeIpIng me Lo sLund und LIe poIIcemun suvIng, Are vou uII
rIgIL? und me unswerIng, Yes, jusL IeIL weuk, musL Iuve IuInLed buL uII
rIgIL now, und IIm orderIng LIe crowd Lo move on und LIe oLIers
movIng on excepL LIe mun und womun und IIm suvIng, You sure vou
okuv, duddv, und me noddIng ves, und Ier suvIng, WIere vou IIve son,
somewIere uround Iere? And me LeIIIng Ier Men's House und Ier
IookIng uL me sIukIng Ier Ieud suvIng, Men's House, Men's House,
sIucks LIuL uIn'L no pIuce Ior nobodv In vour condILIon wIuL's weuk und
needs u womun Lo keep un eve on vou uwIIIe. And me suvIng, BuL 'II be
uII rIgIL now, und Ier, Muvbe vou wIII und muvbe vou won'L. IIve jusL
up LIe sLreeL und round LIe corner, vou beLLer come on round und resL
LIII vou IeeI sLronger. 'II pIone Men's House und LeII 'em wIere vou uL.
And me Loo LIred Lo resIsL und uIreudv sIe Iud one urm und wus
InsLrucLIng LIe IeIIow Lo Luke LIe oLIer und we wenL, me beLween LIem,
InwurdIv rejecLIng und veL uccepLIng Ier bossIng, IeurIng, You Luke IL
eusv, 'II Luke cure oI vou IIke done u Ieup oI oLIers, mv nume's Murv
Rumbo, evervbodv knows me round LIIs purL oI HurIem, vou Ieurd oI
me, uIn'L vou? And LIe IeIIow suvIng, Sure, 'm Jennv Juckson's bov,
vou know know vou, MIss Murv. And Ier suvIng, Jennv Juckson, wIv,
sIouId suv vou do know me und know vou, vou RuIsLon, und vour
mumu goL Lwo more cIIIdren, bov numed IInL und guI numed
uurujeun, sIouId suv know vou-me und vour mumu und vour pupu
useLu-And me suvIng, 'm uII rIgIL now, reuIIv uII rIgIL. And Ier
suvIng, And IookIng IIke LIuL, vou musL be worse oII even LIun vou
Iook, und puIIIng me now suvIng, Here's mv Iouse rIgIL Iere, Iep me
gIL IIm up LIe sLeps und InsIde, vou needn'L worrv, son, uIn'L never
IuId eves on vou beIore und IL uIn'L mv busIness und don'L cure wIuL
vou LIInk ubouL me buL vou weuk und cuInL IurdIv wuIk und uII und vou
Iook wIuL's more IIke vou Iungrv, so jusL come on und IeL me do
someLIIng Ior vou IIke Iope vou'd do someLIIng Ior oIe Murv In cuse
sIe needed IL, IL uIn'L cosLIng vou u pennv und don'L wunL Lo gIL In vour
busIness, jusL wunL vou Lo Iuv down LIII vou resLed und LIen vou cun
go. And LIe IeIIow LukIng IL up, suvIng, You In good Iunds, duddv, MIss
Murv uIwuvs IeIpIng somebodv und vou need some IeIp 'cuuse Iere
vou bIuck us me und wIILe us u sIeeL, us LIe oIuvs wouId suv-wuLcI
LIese sLeps. And goIng up some sLeps und LIen some more, growIng
weuker, und LIe Lwo wurm uround me on eucI sIde oI me, und LIen
InsIde u cooI durk room, IeurIng, Here, Iere's LIe bed, IIe IIm down
LIere, LIere, LIere now, LIuL's IL, RuIsLon, now puL IIs Iegs up-never
mInd LIe cover-LIere, LIuL's IL, now go ouL LIere In LIe kILcIen und
pour IIm u gIuss oI wuLer, vou'II IInd u boLLIe In LIe Ice-box. And IIm
goIng und Ier pIucIng unoLIer pIIIow beneuLI mv Ieud, suvIng, Now
vou'II be beLLer und wIen vou gIL uII rIgIL vou'II know Iow bud u sIupe
vou been In, Iere, now Luku sIp oI LIIs wuLer, und me drInkIng und
seeIng Ier worn brown IIngers IoIdIng LIe brIgIL gIuss und u IeeIIng oI
oId, uImosL IorgoLLen reIIeI comIng over me und LIInkIng In ecIo oI Ier
words, I don'L LIInk 'm sInkIng, Iook wIuL u IoIe 'm In, und LIen LIe
soIL cooI spIusI oI sIeep.
SAW Ier ucross LIe room wIen uwoke, reudIng u newspuper,
Ier gIusses Iow ucross LIe brIdge oI Ier nose us sIe sLured uL LIe puge
InLenLIv. TIen reuIIzed LIuL LIougI LIe gIusses sLIII sIunLed down, LIe
eves were no Ionger Iocused on LIe puge, buL on mv Iuce und IIgILIng
wILI u sIow smIIe.
"How vou IeeI now?" sIe suId.
"MucI beLLer."
" LIougIL vou wouId be. And vou be even beLLer uILer vou Iuve u
cup oI soup goL Ior vou In LIe kILcIen. You sIepL u good Iong LIme."
"DId ?" suId. "WIuL LIme Is IL?"
"L's ubouL Len o'cIock, und Irom LIe wuv vou sIepL suspecLs uII
vou needed wus some resL . . . No, don'L gIL up veL. You goL Lo drInk
vour soup, LIen vou cun go," sIe suId, IeuvIng.
SIe reLurned wILI u bowI In u pIuLe. "TIIs Iere'II IIx vou up," sIe
suId. "You don'L geL LIIs kInd oI servIce up LIere uL Men's House, do
vou? Now, vou jusL sIL LIere und Luke vour LIme. uIn'L goL noLIIng Lo
do buL reud LIe puper. And IIke compunv. You Iuve Lo muke LIme In
LIe mornIng?"
"No, 've been sIck," suId. "BuL Iuve Lo Iook Ior u job."
" knowed vou wusn'L weII. WIv vou Lrv Lo IIde IL?"
" dIdn'L wunL Lo be LroubIe Lo unvone," suId.
"Evervbodv Ius Lo be LroubIe Lo somebodv. And vou jusL come
Irom LIe IospILuI Loo."
Iooked up. SIe suL In LIe rockIng cIuIr benL Iorwurd, Ier urms
IoIded uL euse ucross Ier uproned Iup. Hud sIe seurcIed mv pockeLs?
"How dId vou know LIuL?" suId.
"TIere vou go geLLIng suspIcIous," sIe suId sLernIv. "TIuL's wIuL's
wrong wILI LIe worId Loduv, don'L nobodv LrusL nobodv. cun smeII
LIuL IospILuI smeII on vou, son. You goL enougI eLIer In LIose cIoLIes
Lo puL Lo sIeep u dog!"
" couIdn'L remember LeIIIng vou LIuL Iud been In LIe IospILuI."
"No, und vou dIdn'L Iuve Lo. smeIIed LIuL ouL. You goL peopIe
Iere In LIe cILv?"
"No, mu'm," suId. "TIev're down SouLI. cume up Iere Lo work
so couId go Lo scIooI, und goL sIck."
"Now uIn'L LIuL Loo bud! BuL vou'II muke ouL uII rIgIL. WIuL vou
pIun Lo muke ouL oI vourseII?"
" don'L know now; cume Iere wunLIng Lo be un educuLor. Now
don'L know."
"So wIuL's wrong wILI beIng un educuLor?"
LIougIL ubouL IL wIIIe sIppIng LIe good IoL soup. "NoLIIng,
suppose, jusL LIInk 'd IIke Lo do someLIIng eIse."
"WeII, wIuLever IL Is, Iope IL's someLIIng LIuL's u credIL Lo LIe
ruce."
" Iope so," suId.
"Don'L Iope, muke IL LIuL wuv."
Iooked uL Ier LIInkIng oI wIuL 'd LrIed Lo do und oI wIere IL Iud
goLLen me, seeIng Ier Ieuvv, composed IIgure beIore me.
"L's vou voung IoIks wIuL's goIng Lo muke LIe cIunges," sIe suId.
"Y'uII's LIe ones. You goL Lo Ieud und vou goL Lo IIgIL und move us uII on
up u IILLIe IIgIer. And LeII vou someLIIng eIse, IL's LIe one's Irom LIe
SouLI LIuL's goL Lo do IL, LIem wIuL knows LIe IIre und uIn'L IorgoL Iow
IL burns. Up Iere Loo munv IorgILs. TIev IInds u pIuce Ior LIevseIves
und IorgILs LIe ones on LIe boLLom. OI, Ieup oI LIem LuIks ubouL doIng
LIIngs, buL LIev done reuIIv IorgoL. No, IL's vou voung ones wIuL Ius Lo
remember und Luke LIe Ieud."
"Yes," suId.
"And vou Iuve Lo Luke cure oI vourseII, son. Don'L IeL LIIs HurIem
gIL vou. 'm In New York buL New York uIn'L In me, undersLund wIuL
meun? Don'L gIL corrupLed."
" won'L. 'II be Loo busv."
"AII rIgIL now, vou Iooks Lo me IIke vou mIgIL muke someLIIng
ouL oI vourseII, so vou be cureIuI."
goL up Lo go, wuLcIIng Ier ruIse IerseII ouL oI Ier cIuIr und come
wILI me Lo LIe door.
"You ever decIde vou wunL u room somewIere besIde Men's
House, Lrv me," sIe suId. "TIe renL's reusonubIe."
"'II remember LIuL," suId.
WAS Lo remember sooner LIun Iud LIougIL. TIe momenL
enLered LIe brIgIL, buzzIng Iobbv oI Men's House wus overcome bv u
sense oI uIIenuLIon und IosLIIILv. Mv overuIIs were cuusIng sLures und
knew LIuL couId IIve LIere no Ionger, LIuL LIuL pIuse oI mv IIIe wus
pusL. TIe Iobbv wus LIe meeLIng pIuce Ior vurIous groups sLIII cuugIL up
In LIe IIIusIons LIuL Iud jusL been boomerunged ouL oI mv Ieud: coIIege
bovs workIng Lo reLurn Lo scIooI down SouLI; oIder udvocuLes oI rucIuI
progress wILI ULopIun scIemes Ior buIIdIng bIuck busIness empIres;
preucIers orduIned bv no uuLIorILv excepL LIeIr own, wILIouL cIurcI or
congreguLIon, wILIouL breud or wIne, bodv or bIood; LIe communILv
"Ieuders" wILIouL IoIIowers; oId men oI sIxLv or more sLIII cuugIL up In
posL-CIvII-Wur dreums oI Ireedom wILIIn segreguLIon; LIe puLIeLIc
ones wIo possessed noLIIng bevond LIeIr dreums oI beIng genLIemen,
wIo IeId smuII jobs or drew smuII pensIons, und uII preLendIng Lo be
enguged In some vusL, LIougI obscure, enLerprIse, wIo uIIecLed LIe
pseudo-courLIv munners oI cerLuIn souLIern congressmen und bowed
und nodded us LIev pussed IIke senIIe oId roosLers In u burnvurd; LIe
vounger crowd Ior wIom now IeIL u conLempL sucI us onIv u
dIsIIIusIoned dreumer IeeIs Ior LIose sLIII unuwure LIuL LIev dreum-LIe
busIness sLudenLs Irom souLIern coIIeges, Ior wIom busIness wus u
vugue, ubsLrucL gume wILI ruIes us obsoIeLe us NouI's Ark buL wIo veL
were drunk on IInunce. Yes, und LIuL oIder group wILI sImIIur
uspIruLIons, LIe "IundumenLuIIsLs," LIe "ucLors" wIo sougIL Lo ucIIeve
LIe sLuLus oI brokers LIrougI ImugInuLIon uIone, u group oI junILors
und messengers wIo spenL mosL oI LIeIr wuges on cIoLIIng sucI us wus
IusIIonubIe umong WuII SLreeL brokers, wILI LIeIr Brooks BroLIers
suILs und bowIer IuLs, EngIIsI umbreIIus, bIuck cuIIskIn sIoes und
veIIow gIoves; wILI LIeIr orLIodox und pussIonuLe urgumenL us Lo wIuL
wus LIe correcL LIe Lo weur wILI wIuL sIIrL, wIuL sIude oI gruv wus
correcL Ior spuLs und wIuL wouId LIe PrInce oI WuIes weur uL u cerLuIn
seusonuI evenL; sIouId IIeId gIusses be sIung Irom LIe rIgIL or Irom LIe
IeIL sIouIder; wIo never reud LIe IInuncIuI puges LIougI LIev
purcIused LIe WuII SLreeL JournuI reIIgIousIv und currIed IL beneuLI
LIe IeIL eIbow, pressed IIrm uguInsL LIe bodv und grusped In LIe IeIL
Iund-uIwuvs munIcured und gIoved, IuIr weuLIer or IouI-wILI un eusv
precIsIon (OI, LIev Iud sLvIe) wIIIe LIe oLIer Iund wIIpped u LIgILIv
roIIed umbreIIu buck und IorLI uL u cuIcuIuLed ungIe; wILI LIeIr
Iomburgs und CIesLerIIeIds, LIeIr poIo couLs und TvroIeun IuLs worn
sLrIcLIv us IusIIon demunded.
couId IeeI LIeIr eves, suw LIem uII und suw Loo LIe LIme wIen
LIev wouId know LIuL mv prospecLs were ended und suw uIreudv LIe
conLempL LIev'd IeeI Ior me, u coIIege mun wIo Iud IosL IIs prospecLs
und prIde. couId see IL uII und knew LIuL even LIe oIIIcIuIs und LIe
oIder men wouId despIse me us LIougI, someIow, In IosIng mv pIuce In
BIedsoe's worId Iud beLruved LIem . . . suw IL us LIev Iooked uL mv
overuIIs.
Iud sLurLed Lowurd LIe eIevuLor wIen Ieurd LIe voIce ruIsed In
IuugILer und Lurned Lo see IIm IoIdIng IorLI Lo u group In LIe Iobbv
cIuIrs und LIe roIIs oI IuL beIInd LIe wrInkIed, IIgI-domed, cIose-cuL
Ieud, und wus cerLuIn LIuL IL wus Ie und sLooped wILIouL LIougIL und
IIILed IL sIInIng, IuII und IouI, und moved Iorwurd Lwo Iong sLeps,
dumpIng ILs greuL brown, LrunspurenL spIusI upon LIe Ieud wurned Loo
IuLe bv someone ucross LIe room. And Loo IuLe Ior me Lo see LIuL IL wus
noL BIedsoe buL u preucIer, u promInenL BupLIsL, wIo sIoL up wIde-
eved wILI dIsbeIIeI und ouLruge, und sIoL uround und ouL oI LIe Iobbv
beIore unvone couId LIInk Lo sLop me.
No one IoIIowed me und wundered LIe sLreeLs umuzed uL mv own
ucLIon. uLer IL begun Lo ruIn und sneuked buck neur Men's House und
persuuded un umused porLer Lo sIIp mv LIIngs ouL Lo me. Ieurned LIuL
Iud been burred Irom LIe buIIdIng Ior "nIneLv-nIne veurs und u duv."
"You mIgIL noL cun come buck, mun," LIe porLer suId, "buL uILer
wIuL vou dId, sweur, LIev never wIII sLop LuIkIng ubouL vou. You reuIIv
bupLIzed oIe Rev!"
So THAT sume nIgIL wenL buck Lo Murv's, wIere IIved In u
smuII buL comIorLubIe room unLII LIe Ice cume.
L wus u perIod oI quIeLness. puId mv wuv wILI mv compensuLIon
monev und Iound IIvIng wILI Ier pIeusunL excepL Ior Ier consLunL LuIk
ubouL IeudersIIp und responsIbIIILv. And even LIIs wus noL Loo bud us
Iong us couId puv mv wuv. L wus, Iowever, u smuII compensuLIon, und
wIen uILer severuI monLIs mv monev run ouL und wus IookIng uguIn
Ior u job, Iound Ier exceedIngIv IrrILuLIng Lo IIsLen Lo. SLIII, sIe never
dunned me und wus us generous wILI Ier servIngs oI Iood durIng
meuILIme us ever. "L's jusL Iurd LImes vou goIng LIrougI," sIe'd suv.
"Evervbodv worLI IIs suIL Ius IIs Iurd LImes, und wIen vou gIL Lo be
somebodv vou'II see LIese Iere verv sume Iurd LImes IeIped vou u
Ieup."
dIdn'L see IL LIuL wuv. Iud IosL mv sense oI dIrecLIon. spenL mv
LIme, wIen noL IookIng Ior work, In mv room, wIere reud counLIess
books Irom LIe IIbrurv. SomeLImes, wIen LIere wus sLIII monev, or
wIen Iud eurned u Iew doIIurs wuILIng LubIe, 'd euL ouL und wunder
LIe sLreeLs unLII IuLe uL nIgIL. OLIer LIun Murv Iud no IrIends und
desIred none. Nor dId LIInk oI Murv us u "IrIend"; sIe wus someLIIng
more-u Iorce, u sLubIe, IumIIIur Iorce IIke someLIIng ouL oI mv pusL
wIIcI kepL me Irom wIIrIIng oII InLo some unknown wIIcI dured noL
Iuce. L wus u mosL puInIuI posILIon, Ior uL LIe sume LIme, Murv
remInded me consLunLIv LIuL someLIIng wus expecLed oI me, some ucL
oI IeudersIIp, some newsworLIv ucIIevemenL; und wus Lorn beLween
resenLIng Ier Ior IL und IovIng Ier Ior LIe nebuIous Iope sIe kepL uIIve.
Iud no doubL LIuL couId do someLIIng, buL wIuL, und Iow?
Iud no conLucLs und beIIeved In noLIIng. And LIe obsessIon wILI mv
IdenLILv wIIcI Iud deveIoped In LIe IucLorv IospILuI reLurned wILI u
vengeunce. WIo wus , Iow Iud come Lo be? CerLuInIv couIdn'L IeIp
beIng dIIIerenL Irom wIen IeIL LIe cumpus; buL now u new, puInIuI,
conLrudIcLorv voIce Iud grown up wILIIn me, und beLween ILs demunds
Ior revengeIuI ucLIon und Murv's sIIenL pressure LIrobbed wILI guIIL
und puzzIemenL. wunLed peuce und quIeL, LrunquIIIILv, buL wus Loo
mucI uboII InsIde. SomewIere beneuLI LIe Ioud oI LIe emoLIon-
IreezIng Ice wIIcI mv IIIe Iud condILIoned mv bruIn Lo produce, u spoL
oI bIuck unger gIowed und LIrew oII u IoL red IIgIL oI sucI InLensILv
LIuL Iud ord KeIvIn known oI ILs exIsLence, Ie wouId Iuve Iud Lo
revIse IIs meusuremenLs. A remoLe expIosIon Iud occurred
somewIere, perIups buck uL Emerson's or LIuL nIgIL In BIedsoe's
oIIIce, und IL Iud cuused LIe Ice cup Lo meIL und sIIIL LIe sIIgILesL bIL.
BuL LIuL bIL, LIuL IrucLIon, wus IrrevocubIe. ComIng Lo New York Iud
perIups been un unconscIous uLLempL Lo keep LIe oId IreezIng unIL
goIng, buL IL Iudn'L worked; IoL wuLer Iud goLLen InLo ILs coIIs. OnIv u
drop, perIups, buL LIuL drop wus LIe IIrsL wuve oI LIe deIuge. One
momenL beIIeved, wus dedIcuLed, wIIIIng Lo IIe on LIe bIuzIng couIs,
do unvLIIng Lo uLLuIn u posILIon on LIe cumpus-LIen snup! L wus done
wILI, IInIsIed, LIrougI. Now LIere wus onIv LIe probIem oI IorgeLLIng
IL. I onIv uII LIe conLrudIcLorv voIces sIouLIng InsIde mv Ieud wouId
cuIm down und sIng u song In unIson, wIuLever IL wus wouIdn'L cure
us Iong us LIev sung wILIouL dIssonunce; ves, und uvoIded LIe uncerLuIn
exLremes oI LIe scuIe. BuL LIere wus no reIIeI. wus wIId wILI
resenLmenL buL Loo mucI under "seII-conLroI," LIuL Irozen vIrLue, LIuL
IreezIng vIce. And LIe more resenLIuI becume, LIe more mv oId urge
Lo muke speecIes reLurned. WIIIe wuIkIng uIong LIe sLreeLs words
wouId spIII Irom mv IIps In u mumbIe over wIIcI Iud IILLIe conLroI.
becume uIruId oI wIuL mIgIL do. AII LIIngs were Indeed uwusI In mv
mInd. Ionged Ior Iome.
And wIIIe LIe Ice wus meILIng Lo Iorm u IIood In wIIcI
LIreuLened Lo drown uwoke one uILernoon Lo IInd LIuL mv IIrsL
norLIern wInLer Iud seL.
CIupLer 1
AL IIrsL Iud Lurned uwuv Irom LIe wIndow und LrIed Lo reud buL
mv mInd kepL wunderIng buck Lo mv oId probIems und, unubIe Lo
endure IL unv Ionger, rusIed Irom LIe Iouse, exLremeIv ugILuLed buL
deLermIned Lo geL uwuv Irom mv IoL LIougILs InLo LIe cIIII uIr.
AL LIe enLrunce bumped uguInsL u womun wIo cuIIed me u IIILIv
nume, onIv cuusIng me Lo Increuse mv speed. n u Iew mInuLes wus
severuI bIocks uwuv, IuvIng moved Lo LIe nexL uvenue und downLown.
TIe sLreeLs were covered wILI Ice und sooL-IIecked snow und Irom
ubove u IeebIe sun IIILered LIrougI LIe Iuze. wuIked wILI mv Ieud
down, IeeIIng LIe bILIng uIr. And veL wus IoL, burnIng wILI un Inner
Iever. bureIv ruIsed mv eves unLII u cur, pussIng wILI u LIuddIng oI
skId cIuIns wIIrIed compIeLeIv uround on LIe Ice, LIen Lurned
cuuLIousIv und LIudded oII uguIn.
wuIked sIowIv on, bIInkIng mv eves In LIe cIIII uIr, mv mInd u
bIur wILI LIe IoL Inner urgumenL conLInuIng. TIe wIoIe oI HurIem
seemed Lo IuII upurL In LIe swIrI oI snow. ImugIned wus IosL und Ior u
momenL LIere wus un eerIe quIeL. ImugIned Ieurd LIe IuII oI snow
upon snow. WIuL dId IL meun? wuIked, mv eves Iocused InLo LIe
endIess successIon oI burber sIops, beuuLv purIors, conIecLIonerIes,
IuncIeoneLLes, IIsI Iouses, und Iog muw joInLs, wuIkIng cIose Lo LIe
wIndows, LIe snowIIukes IucIng swIIL beLween, sImuILuneousIv IormIng
u curLuIn, u veII, und sLrIppIng IL usIde. A IIusI oI red und goId Irom u
wIndow IIIIed wILI reIIgIous urLIcIes cuugIL mv eve. And beIInd LIe
IIIm oI IrosL eLcIIng LIe gIuss suw Lwo brusIIv puInLed pIusLer Imuges
oI Murv und Jesus surrounded bv dreum books, Iove powders, God-s-
ove sIgns, monev-druwIng oII und pIusLIc dIce. A bIuck sLuLue oI u
nude NubIun sIuve grInned ouL uL me Irom beneuLI u Lurbun oI goId.
pussed on Lo u wIndow decoruLed wILI swILcIes oI wIrv IuIse IuIr,
oInLmenLs guurunLeed Lo produce LIe mIrucIe oI wIILenIng bIuck skIn.
"You Loo cun be LruIv beuuLIIuI," u sIgn procIuImed. "WIn greuLer
IuppIness wILI wIILer compIexIon. Be ouLsLundIng In vour socIuI seL."
IurrIed on, suppressIng u suvuge urge Lo pusI mv IIsL LIrougI
LIe pune. A wInd wus rIsIng, LIe snow LIInnIng. WIere wouId go? To
u movIe? CouId sIeep LIere? Ignored LIe wIndows now und wuIked
uIong, becomIng uwure LIuL wus muLLerIng Lo mvseII uguIn. TIen Iur
down uL LIe corner suw un oId mun wurmIng IIs Iunds uguInsL LIe
sIdes oI un odd-IookIng wugon, Irom wIIcI u sLovepIpe reeIed oII u LIIn
spIruI oI smoke LIuL drIILed LIe odor oI bukIng vums sIowIv Lo me,
brIngIng u sLub oI swIIL nosLuIgIu. sLopped us LIougI sLruck bv u sIoL,
deepIv InIuIIng, rememberIng, mv mInd surgIng buck, buck. AL Iome
we'd buke LIem In LIe IoL couIs oI LIe IIrepIuce, Iud currIed LIem coId
Lo scIooI Ior IuncI, muncIed LIem secreLIv, squeezIng LIe sweeL puIp
Irom LIe soIL peeI us we IId Irom LIe LeucIer beIInd LIe IurgesL book,
LIe WorId's GeogrupIv. Yes, und we'd Ioved LIem cundIed, or buked In
u cobbIer, deep-IuL IrIed In u pockeL oI dougI, or rousLed wILI pork und
gIuzed wILI LIe weII-browned IuL; Iud cIewed LIem ruw-vums und
veurs ugo. More vums LIun veurs ugo LIougI LIe LIme seemed endIessIv
expunded, sLreLcIed LIIn us LIe spIruIIng smoke bevond uII recuII.
moved uguIn. "GeL vo' IoL, buked Cur'IInu vum," Ie cuIIed. AL LIe
corner LIe oId mun, wrupped In un urmv overcouL, IIs IeeL covered wILI
gunnv sucks, IIs Ieud In u knILLed cup, wus puLLerIng wILI u sLuck oI
puper bugs. suw u crude sIgn on LIe sIde oI LIe wugon procIuImIng
YAMS, us wuIked IIusI InLo LIe wurmLI LIrown bv LIe couIs LIuL
gIowed In u gruLe underneuLI.
"How mucI ure vour vums?" suId, suddenIv Iungrv.
"TIev Len cenLs und LIev sweeL," Ie suId, IIs voIce quuverIng wILI
uge. "TIese uIn'L none oI LIem bIndIng ones neILIer. TIese Iere Is reuI,
sweeL, vuIIer vums. How munv?"
"One," suId. "I LIev're LIuL good, one sIouId be enougI."
He guve me u seurcIIng gIunce. TIere wus u Leur In LIe corner oI
IIs eve. He cIuckIed und opened LIe door oI LIe ImprovIsed oven,
reucIIng gIngerIv wILI IIs gIoved Iund. TIe vums, some bubbIIng wILI
svrup, Iuv on u wIre ruck ubove gIowIng couIs LIuL Ieuped Lo Iow bIue
IIume wIen sLruck bv LIe druIL oI uIr. TIe IIusI oI wurmLI seL mv Iuce
ugIow us Ie removed one oI LIe vums und sIuL LIe door.
"Here vou ure, suI," Ie suId, sLurLIng Lo puL LIe vum InLo u bug.
"Never mInd LIe bug, 'm goIng Lo euL IL. Here . . ."
"TIunks." He Look LIe dIme. "I LIuL uIn'L u sweeL one, 'II gIve vou
unoLIer one Iree oI cIurge."
knew LIuL IL wus sweeL beIore broke IL; bubbIes oI brown svrup
Iud bursL LIe skIn.
"Go uIeud und breuk IL," LIe oId mun suId. "Breuk IL und 'II gIve
vou some buLLer sInce vou gon' euL IL rIgIL Iere. oLs oI IoIks Lukes 'em
Iome. TIev goL LIeIr own buLLer uL Iome."
broke IL, seeIng LIe sugurv puIp sLeumIng In LIe coId. "HoId IL
over Iere," Ie suId. He Look u crock Irom u ruck on LIe sIde oI LIe
wugon. "RIgIL Iere."
IeId IL, wuLcIIng IIm pour u spoonIuI oI meILed buLLer over LIe
vum und LIe buLLer seepIng In. "TIunks."
"You weIcome. And 'II LeII vou someLIIng."
"WIuL's LIuL?" suId.
"I LIuL uIn'L LIe besL euLIng vou Iud In u Iong LIme, gIve vou vour
monev buck."
"You don'L Iuve Lo convInce me," suId. " cun Iook uL IL und see
IL's good."
"You rIgIL, buL evervLIIng wIuL Iooks good uIn'L necessurIIv good,"
Ie suId. "BuL LIese Is."
Look u bILe, IIndIng IL us sweeL und IoL us unv 'd ever Iud, und
wus overcome wILI sucI u surge oI IomesIckness LIuL Lurned uwuv Lo
keep mv conLroI. wuIked uIong, muncIIng LIe vum, jusL us suddenIv
overcome bv un InLense IeeIIng oI Ireedom-sImpIv becuuse wus
euLIng wIIIe wuIkIng uIong LIe sLreeL. L wus exIIIuruLIng. no Ionger
Iud Lo worrv ubouL wIo suw me or ubouL wIuL wus proper. To IeII wILI
uII LIuL, und us sweeL us LIe vum ucLuuIIv wus, IL becume IIke necLur
wILI LIe LIougIL. I onIv someone wIo Iud known me uL scIooI or uL
Iome wouId come uIong und see me now. How sIocked LIev'd be! 'd
pusI LIem InLo u sIde sLreeL und smeur LIeIr Iuces wILI LIe peeI. WIuL u
group oI peopIe we were, LIougIL. WIv, vou couId cuuse us LIe
greuLesL IumIIIuLIon sImpIv bv conIronLIng us wILI someLIIng we IIked.
NoL uII oI us, buL so munv. SImpIv bv wuIkIng up und sIukIng u seL oI
cIILLerIIngs or u weII-boIIed Iog muw uL LIem durIng LIe cIeur IIgIL oI
duv! WIuL consLernuLIon IL wouId cuuse! And suw mvseII udvuncIng
upon BIedsoe, sLundIng bure oI IIs IuIse IumIIILv In LIe crowded Iobbv
oI Men's House, und seeIng IIm LIere und IIm seeIng me und IgnorIng
me und me enruged und suddenIv wIIppIng ouL u IooL or Lwo oI
cIILLerIIngs, ruw, uncIeuned und drIppIng sLIckv cIrcIes on LIe IIoor us
sIuke LIem In IIs Iuce, sIouLIng:
"BIedsoe, vou're u sIumeIess cIILLerIIng euLer! uccuse vou oI
reIIsIIng Iow boweIs! Hu! And noL onIv do vou euL LIem, vou sneuk
und euL LIem In prIvuLe wIen vou LIInk vou're unobserved! You're u
sneukIng cIILLerIIng Iover! uccuse vou oI InduIgIng In u IIILIv IubIL,
BIedsoe! ug LIem ouL oI LIere, BIedsoe! ug LIem ouL so we cun see!
uccuse vou beIore LIe eves oI LIe worId!" And Ie Iugs LIem ouL, vurds
oI LIem, wILI musLurd greens, und rucks oI pIgs' eurs, und pork cIops
und bIuck-eved peus wILI duII uccusIng eves.
IeL ouL u wIId IuugI, uImosL cIokIng over LIe vum us LIe scene
spun beIore me. WIv, wILI oLIers presenL, IL wouId be worse LIun II
Iud uccused IIm oI rupIng un oId womun oI nIneLv-nIne veurs,
weIgIIng nIneLv pounds . . . bIInd In one eve und Iume In LIe IIp!
BIedsoe wouId dIsInLegruLe, dIsInIIuLe! WILI u proIound sIgI Ie'd drop
IIs Ieud In sIume. He'd Iose cusLe. TIe weekIv newspupers wouId
uLLuck IIm. TIe cupLIons over IIs pIcLure: PromInenL EducuLor ReverLs
Lo IeId NIggerIsm! HIs rIvuIs wouId denounce IIm us u bud exumpIe
Ior LIe SouLI. EdILorIuIs wouId demund LIuL Ie eILIer recunL or reLIre
Irom pubIIc IIIe. n LIe SouLI IIs wIILe IoIks wouId deserL IIm; Ie
wouId be dIscussed Iur und wIde, und uII oI LIe LrusLees' monev couIdn'L
prop up IIs suggIng presLIge. He'd end up un exIIe wusIIng dIsIes uL
LIe AuLomuL. or down SouLI Ie'd be unubIe Lo geL u job on LIe Ionev
wugon.
TIIs Is uII verv wIId und cIIIdIsI, LIougIL, buL Lo IeII wILI beIng
usIumed oI wIuL vou IIked. No more oI LIuL Ior me. um wIuL um!
woIIed down LIe vum und run buck Lo LIe oId mun und Iunded IIm
LwenLv cenLs, "GIve me Lwo more," suId.
"SIo, uII vou wunL, Iong us goL 'em. cun see vou u serIous vum
euLer, voung IeIIow. You euLIng LIem rIgIL uwuv?"
"As soon us vou gIve LIem Lo me," suId.
"You wunL 'em buLLered?"
"PIeuse."
"SIo, LIuL wuv vou cun geL LIe mosL ouL oI 'em. YessuI," Ie suId,
IundIng over LIe vums, " cun see vou one oI LIese oId-IusIIoned vum
euLers."
"TIev're mv bIrLImurk," suId. " vum wIuL um!"
"TIen vou musL be Irom SouLI Cur'IInu," Ie suId wILI u grIn.
"SouLI CuroIInu noLIIng, wIere come Irom we reuIIv go Ior
vums."
"Come buck LonIgIL or Lomorrow II vou cun euL some more," Ie
cuIIed uILer me. "Mv oId Iudv'II be ouL Iere wILI some IoL sweeL poLuLo
IrIed pIes."
HoL IrIed pIes, LIougIL sudIv, movIng uwuv. wouId probubIv
Iuve IndIgesLIon II uLe one-now LIuL no Ionger IeIL usIumed oI LIe
LIIngs Iud uIwuvs Ioved, probubIv couId no Ionger dIgesL verv munv
oI LIem. WIuL und Iow mucI Iud IosL bv LrvIng Lo do onIv wIuL wus
expecLed oI me InsLeud oI wIuL mvseII Iud wIsIed Lo do? WIuL u
wusLe, wIuL u senseIess wusLe! BuL wIuL oI LIose LIIngs wIIcI vou
ucLuuIIv dIdn'L IIke, noL becuuse vou were noL supposed Lo IIke LIem,
noL becuuse Lo dIsIIke LIem wus consIdered u murk oI reIInemenL und
educuLIon-buL becuuse vou ucLuuIIv Iound LIem dIsLusLeIuI? TIe verv
Ideu unnoved me. How couId vou know? L InvoIved u probIem oI
cIoIce. wouId Iuve Lo weIgI munv LIIngs cureIuIIv beIore decIdIng
und LIere wouId be some LIIngs LIuL wouId cuuse quILe u bIL oI LroubIe,
sImpIv becuuse Iud never Iormed u personuI uLLILude Lowurd so mucI.
Iud uccepLed LIe uccepLed uLLILudes und IL Iud mude IIIe seem sImpIe
. . .
BuL noL vums, Iud no probIem concernIng LIem und wouId euL
LIem wIenever und wIerever Look LIe noLIon. ConLInue on LIe vum
IeveI und IIIe wouId be sweeL-LIougI somewIuL veIIowIsI. YeL LIe
Ireedom Lo euL vums on LIe sLreeL wus Iur Iess LIun Iud expecLed upon
comIng Lo LIe cILv. An unpIeusunL LusLe bIoomed In mv mouLI now us
bIL LIe end oI LIe vum und LIrew IL InLo LIe sLreeL; IL Iud been IrosL-
bILLen.
TIe wInd drove me InLo u sIde sLreeL wIere u group oI bovs Iud
seL u puckIng box uIIre. TIe gruv smoke Iung Iow und seemed Lo
LIIcken us wuIked wILI mv Ieud down und eves cIosed, LrvIng Lo uvoId
LIe Iumes. Mv Iungs begun Lo puIn; LIen emergIng, wIpIng mv eves und
cougIIng, uImosL sLumbIed over IL: L wus pIIed In u jumbIe uIong LIe
wuIk und over LIe curb InLo LIe sLreeL, IIke u IoL oI junk wuILIng Lo be
IuuIed uwuv. TIen suw LIe suIIen-Iuced crowd, IookIng uL u buIIdIng
wIere Lwo wIILe men were LoLIng ouL u cIuIr In wIIcI un oId womun
suL; wIo, us wuLcIed, sLruck uL LIem IeebIv wILI Ier IIsLs. A moLIerIv-
IookIng oId womun wILI Ier Ieud LIed In u IundkercIIeI, weurIng u
mun's sIoes und u mun's Ieuvv bIue sweuLer. L wus sLurLIIng: TIe
crowd wuLcIIng sIIenLIv, LIe Lwo wIILe men IuggIng LIe cIuIr und
LrvIng Lo dodge LIe bIows und LIe oId womun's Iuce sLreumIng wILI
ungrv Leurs us sIe LIrusIed uL LIem wILI Ier IIsLs. couIdn'L beIIeve IL.
SomeLIIng, u sense oI IorebodIng, IIIIed me, u quIck sense oI
uncIeunIIness.
"euve us uIone," sIe crIed, "Ieuve us uIone!" us LIe men puIIed
LIeIr Ieuds ouL oI runge und suL Ier down ubrupLIv uL LIe curb,
IurrvIng buck InLo LIe buIIdIng.
WIuL on eurLI, LIougIL, IookIng ubouL me. WIuL on eurLI? TIe
oId womun sobbed, poInLIng Lo LIe sLuII pIIed uIong LIe curb. "JusL Iook
wIuL LIev doIng Lo us. JusL Iook," IookIng sLruIgIL uL me. And reuIIzed
LIuL wIuL 'd Luken Ior junk wus ucLuuIIv worn IouseIoId IurnIsIIngs.
"JusL Iook uL wIuL LIev doIng," sIe suId, Ier Leurv eves upon mv
Iuce.
Iooked uwuv emburrussed, sLurIng InLo LIe rupIdIv growIng
crowd. uces were peerIng suIIenIv Irom LIe wIndows ubove. And now
us LIe Lwo men reuppeured uL LIe Lop oI LIe sLeps currvIng u buLLered
cIesL oI druwers, suw u LIIrd mun come ouL und sLund beIInd LIem,
puIIIng uL IIs eur us Ie Iooked ouL over LIe crowd.
"SIuke IL up, vou IeIIows," Ie suId, "sIuke IL up. We don'L Iuve uII
duv."
TIen LIe men cume down wILI LIe cIesL und suw LIe crowd gIve
wuv suIIenIv, LIe men LrudgIng LIrougI, grunLIng und puLLIng LIe cIesL
uL LIe curb, LIen reLurnIng InLo LIe buIIdIng wILIouL u gIunce Lo IeIL or
rIgIL.
"ook uL LIuL," u sIender mun neur me suId. "We ougIL Lo beuL LIe
IeII ouL oI LIose puddIes!"
Iooked sIIenLIv InLo IIs Iuce, LuuL und usIv In LIe coId, IIs eves
LruIned upon LIe men goIng up LIe sLeps.
"SIo, we ougIL Lo sLop 'em," unoLIer mun suId, "buL uIn'L LIuL
mucI nerve In LIe wIoIe buncI."
"TIere's pIenLv nerve," LIe sIender mun suId. "AII LIev need Is
someone Lo seL IL oII. AII LIev need Is u Ieuder. You meun vou don'L Iuve
LIe nerve."
"WIo me?" LIe mun suId. "WIo me?"
"Yes, vou."
"JusL Iook," LIe oId womun suId, "jusL Iook," Ier Iuce sLIII Lurned
Lowurd mIne. Lurned uwuv, edgIng cIoser Lo LIe Lwo men.
"WIo ure LIose men?" suId, edgIng cIoser.
"MursIuIs or someLIIng. don'L gIve u dumn wIo LIev Is."
"MursIuIs, IeII," unoLIer mun suId. "TIose guvs doIng uII LIe
LoLIng uIn'L noLIIng buL LrusLIes. Soon us LIev geL LIrougI LIev'II Iock
'em up uguIn."
" don'L cure wIo LIev ure, LIev goL no busIness puLLIng LIese oId
IoIks ouL on LIe sIdewuIk."
"You meun LIev're puLLIng LIem ouL oI LIeIr upurLmenL?" suId.
"TIev cun do LIuL up Iere?"
"Mun, wIere vou Irom?" Ie suId, swIngIng Lowurd me.
"WIuL does IL Iook IIke LIev puLLIn' LIem ouL oI, u PuIImun cur?
TIev beIng evIcLed!"
wus emburrussed; oLIers were LurnIng Lo sLure. Iud never seen
un evIcLIon. Someone snIckered.
"WIere dId Ie come Irom?"
A IIusI oI IeuL wenL over me und J Lurned. "ook, IrIends," suId,
IeurIng u IoL edge comIng InLo mv voIce. " usked u cIvII quesLIon. I
vou don'L cure Lo unswer, don'L, buL don'L Lrv Lo muke me Iook
rIdIcuIous."
"RIdIcuIous? HeII, uII scobos Is rIdIcuIous. WIo LIe IeII Is vou?"
"Never mInd, um wIo um. JusL don'L beuL up vour gums uL me,"
suId, LIrowIng IIm u newIv ucquIred pIruse.
JusL LIen one oI LIe men cume down LIe sLeps wILI un urmIuI oI
urLIcIes, und suw LIe oId womun reucI up, veIIIng, "Tuke vour Iunds
oII mv BIbIe!" And LIe crowd surged Iorwurd.
TIe wIILe mun's IoL eves swepL LIe crowd. "WIere, Iudv?" Ie suId.
" don'L see unv BIbIe."
And suw Ier snuLcI LIe Book Irom IIs urms, cIuLcIIng IL IIerceIv
und sendIng IorLI u sIrIek. "TIev cun come In vour Iome und do wIuL
LIev wunL Lo vou," sIe suId. "JusL come sLompIng In und jerk vour IIIe
up bv LIe rooLs! BuL LIIs Iere's LIe IusL sLruw. TIev uIn'L goIng Lo boLIer
wILI mv BIbIe!"
TIe wIILe mun eved LIe crowd. "ook, Iudv," Ie suId, more Lo LIe
resL oI us LIun Lo Ier, " don'L wunL Lo do LIIs, Iuve Lo do IL. TIev senL
me up Iere Lo do IL. I IL wus IeIL Lo me, vou couId sLuv Iere LIII IeII
Ireezes over . . ."
"TIese wIILe IoIks, ord. TIese wIILe IoIks," sIe mouned, Ier eves
Lurned Lowurd LIe skv, us un oId mun pusIed pusL me und wenL Lo Ier.
"Hon, Hon," Ie suId, pIucIng IIs Iund on Ier sIouIder. "L's LIe
ugenL, noL LIese genLIemen. He's LIe one; He suvs IL's LIe bunk, buL vou
know Ie's LIe one. We've done busIness wILI IIm Ior over LwenLv
veurs."
"Don'L LeII me," sIe suId. "L's uII LIe wIILe IoIks, noL jusL one.
TIev uII uguInsL us. Everv sLInkIng Iow-down one oI LIem."
"SIe's rIgIL!" u Iourse voIce suId. "SIe's rIgIL! TIev uII Is!"
SomeLIIng Iud been workIng IIerceIv InsIde me, und Ior u momenL
Iud IorgoLLen LIe resL oI LIe crowd. Now recognIzed u
seIIconscIousness ubouL LIem, us LIougI LIev, we, were usIumed Lo
wILness LIe evIcLIon, us LIougI we were uII unwIIIIng InLruders upon
some sIumeIuI evenL; und LIus we were cureIuI noL Lo LoucI or sLure
Loo Iurd uL LIe eIIecLs LIuL IIned LIe curb; Ior we were wILnesses oI
wIuL we dId noL wIsI Lo see, LIougI curIous, IuscInuLed, despILe our
sIume, und LIrougI IL uII LIe oId IemuIe, mInd-pIungIng crvIng.
Iooked uL LIe oId peopIe, IeeIIng mv eves burn, mv LIrouL LIgILen.
TIe oId womun's sobbIng wus IuvIng u sLrunge eIIecL upon me-us wIen
u cIIId, seeIng LIe Leurs oI ILs purenLs, Is moved bv boLI Ieur und
svmpuLIv Lo crv. Lurned uwuv, IeeIIng mvseII beIng druwn Lo LIe oId
coupIe bv u wurm, durk, rIsIng wIIrpooI oI emoLIon wIIcI Ieured.
wus wurv oI wIuL LIe sIgIL oI LIem crvIng LIere on LIe sIdewuIk wus
mukIng me begIn Lo IeeI. wunLed Lo Ieuve, buL wus Loo usIumed Lo
Ieuve, wus rupIdIv becomIng Loo mucI u purL oI IL Lo Ieuve.
Lurned usIde und Iooked uL LIe cIuLLer oI IouseIoId objecLs
wIIcI LIe Lwo men conLInued Lo pIIe on LIe wuIk. And us LIe crowd
pusIed me Iooked down Lo see IookIng ouL oI un ovuI Irume u porLruIL
oI LIe oId coupIe wIen voung, seeIng LIe sud, sLIII dIgnILv oI LIe Iuces
LIere; IeeIIng sLrunge memorIes uwukenIng LIuL begun un ecIoIng In
mv Ieud IIke LIuL oI u IvsLerIcuI voIce sLuLLerIng In u durk sLreeL. SeeIng
LIem Iook buck uL me us LIougI even LIen In LIuL nIneLeenLI-cenLurv
duv LIev Iud expecLed IILLIe, und LIIs wILI u grIm, unIIIusIoned prIde
LIuL suddenIv seemed Lo me boLI u reproucI und u wurnIng. Mv eves
IeII upon u puIr oI crudeIv curved und poIIsIed bones, "knockIng
bones," used Lo uccompunv musIc uL counLrv dunces, used In bIuck-Iuce
mInsLreIs; LIe IIuL rIbs oI u cow, u sLeer or sIeep, IIuL bones LIuL guve oII
u sound, wIen sLruck, IIke Ieuvv cusLuneLs (Iud Ie been u mInsLreI?) or
LIe wooden bIock oI u seL oI drums. PoLs und poLs oI green pIunLs were
IIned In LIe dIrLv snow, cerLuIn Lo dIe oI LIe coId; Ivv, cunnu, u LomuLo
pIunL. And In u buskeL suw u sLruIgILenIng comb, swILcIes oI IuIse
IuIr, u curIIng Iron, u curd wILI sIIverv IeLLers uguInsL u buckground oI
durk red veIveL, reudIng "God BIess Our Home"; und scuLLered ucross
LIe Lop oI u cIIIIonIer were nuggeLs oI HIgI JoIn LIe Conqueror, LIe
Iuckv sLone; und us wuLcIed LIe wIILe men puL down u buskeL In
wIIcI suw u wIIskev boLLIe IIIIed wILI rock cundv und cumpIor, u
smuII ELIIopIun IIug, u Iuded LInLvpe oI AbruIum IncoIn, und LIe
smIIIng Imuge oI u HoIIvwood sLur Lorn Irom u muguzIne. And on u
pIIIow severuI budIv crucked pIeces oI deIIcuLe cIInu, u commemoruLIve
pIuLe ceIebruLIng LIe SL. ouIs WorId uIr . . . sLood In u kInd oI duze,
IookIng uL un oId IoIded Iuce Iun sLudded wILI jeL und moLIer-oI-peurI.
TIe crowd surged us LIe wIILe men cume buck, knockIng over u
druwer LIuL spIIIed ILs conLenLs In LIe snow uL mv IeeL. sLooped und
sLurLIng repIucIng LIe urLIcIes: u benL MusonIc embIem, u seL oI
LurnIsIed cuII IInks, LIree bruss rIngs, u dIme pIerced wILI u nuII IoIe
so us Lo be worn ubouL LIe unkIe on u sLrIng Ior Iuck, un ornuLe greeLIng
curd wILI LIe messuge "Grundmu, Iove vou" In cIIIdIsI scruwI;
unoLIer curd wILI u pIcLure oI wIuL Iooked IIke u wIILe mun In bIuck-
Iuce seuLed In LIe door oI u cubIn sLrummIng u bunjo beneuLI u bur oI
musIc und LIe IvrIc "GoIng buck Lo mv oId cubIn Iome"; u useIess
InIuIunL, u sLrIng oI brIgIL gIuss beuds wILI u LurnIsIed cIusp, u rubbIL
IooL, u ceIIuIoId busebuII scorIng curd sIuped IIke u cuLcIer's mILL,
regIsLerIng u gume won or IosL veurs ugo; un oId breusL pump wILI
rubber buIb veIIowed wILI uge, u worn bubv sIoe und u dusLv Iock oI
InIunL IuIr LIed wILI u Iuded und crumpIed bIue rIbbon. IeIL
nuuseuLed. n mv Iund IeId LIree Iupsed IIIe Insurunce poIIcIes wILI
perIoruLed seuIs sLumped "VoId"; u veIIowIng newspuper porLruIL oI u
Iuge bIuck mun wILI LIe cupLIon: MARCUS GARVEY DEPORTED.
Lurned uwuv, bendIng und seurcIIng LIe dIrLv snow Ior unvLIIng
mIssed bv mv eves, und mv IIngers cIosed upon someLIIng resLIng In u
Irozen IooLsLep: u IrugIIe puper, comIng upurL wILI uge, wrILLen In bIuck
Ink grown veIIow. reud: REE PAPERS. Be IL known Lo uII men LIuL
mv negro, PrImus Provo, Ius been Ireed bv me LIIs sIxLI duv oI AugusL,
18=. SIgned: JoIn SumueIs Mucon . . . IoIded IL quIckIv, bIoLLIng ouL
LIe sIngIe drop oI meILed snow wIIcI gIIsLened on LIe veIIowed puge,
und dropped IL buck InLo LIe druwer. Mv Iunds were LrembIIng, mv
breuLI ruspIng us II Iud run u Iong dIsLunce or come upon u coIIed
snuke In u busv sLreeL. L Ius been Ionger LIun LIuL, IurLIer removed In
LIme, LoId mvseII, und veL knew LIuL IL Iudn'L been. repIuced LIe
druwer In LIe cIesL und pusIed drunkenIv Lo LIe curb.
BuL IL wouIdn'L come up, onIv u bILLer spurL oI guII IIIIed mv mouLI
und spIuLLered LIe oId IoIk's possessIons. Lurned und sLured uguIn uL
LIe jumbIe, no Ionger IookIng uL wIuL wus beIore mv eves, buL
InwurdIv-ouLwurdIv, uround u corner InLo LIe durk, Iur-uwuv-und-Iong-
ugo, noL so mucI oI mv own memorv us oI remembered words, oI
IInked verbuI ecIoes, Imuges, Ieurd even wIen noL IIsLenIng uL Iome.
And IL wus us LIougI mvseII wus beIng dIspossessed oI some puInIuI
veL precIous LIIng wIIcI couId noL beur Lo Iose; someLIIng
conIoundIng, IIke u roLLed LooLI LIuL one wouId ruLIer suIIer
IndeIInILeIv LIun endure LIe sIorL, vIoIenL erupLIon oI puIn LIuL wouId
murk ILs removuI. And wILI LIIs sense oI dIspossessIon cume u pung oI
vugue recognILIon: LIIs junk, LIese sIubbv cIuIrs, LIese Ieuvv, oId-
IusIIoned pressIng Irons, zInc wusI Lubs wILI denLed boLLoms-uII
LIrobbed wILIIn me wILI more meunIng LIun LIere sIouId Iuve been:
And wIv dId , sLundIng In LIe crowd, see IIke u vIsIon mv moLIer
IungIng wusI on u coId wIndv duv, so coId LIuL LIe wurm cIoLIes Iroze
even beIore LIe vupor LIInned und Iung sLIII on LIe IIne, und Ier Iunds
wIILe und ruw In LIe skIrL-swIrIIng wInd und Ier gruv Ieud bure Lo LIe
durkened skv-wIv were LIev cuusIng me dIscomIorL so Iur bevond
LIeIr InLrInsIc meunIng us objecLs? And wIv dId see LIem now us
beIInd u veII LIuL LIreuLened Lo IIIL, sLIrred bv LIe coId wInd In LIe
nurrow sLreeL?
A screum, "'m goIng In!" spun me uround. TIe oId coupIe were on
LIe sLeps now, LIe oId mun IoIdIng Ier urm, LIe wIILe men IeunIng
Iorwurd ubove, und LIe crowd pressIng me cIoser Lo LIe sLeps.
"You cun'L go In, Iudv," LIe mun suId.
" wunL Lo pruv!" sIe suId.
" cun'L IeIp IL, Iudv. You'II Iuve Lo do vour pruvIng ouL Iere."
"'m go'n In!"
"NoL In Iere!"
"AII we wunL Lo do Is go In und pruv," sIe suId, cIuLcIIng Ier BIbIe.
"L uIn'L rIgIL Lo pruv In LIe sLreeL IIke LIIs."
"'m sorrv," Ie suId.
"Aw, IeL LIe womun go In Lo pruv," u voIce cuIIed Irom LIe crowd.
"You goL uII LIeIr sLuII ouL Iere on LIe wuIk-wIuL more do vou wunL,
bIood?"
"Sure, IeL LIem oId IoIks pruv."
"TIuL's wIuL's wrong wILI us now, uII LIIs dumn pruvIng," unoLIer
voIce cuIIed.
"You don'L go buck, see," LIe wIILe mun suId. "You were IeguIIv
evIcLed."
"BuL uII we wunL Lo do Is go In un' kneeI on LIe IIoor," LIe oId mun
suId. "We been IIvIng rIgIL Iere Ior over LwenLv veurs. don'L see wIv
vou cun'L IeL us go jusL Ior u Iew mInuLes . . ."
"ook, 've LoId vou," LIe mun suId. "'ve goL mv orders. You're
wusLIng mv LIme."
"We're go'n In!" LIe womun suId.
L Iuppened so suddenIv LIuL couId bureIv keep up wILI IL: suw
LIe oId womun cIuLcIIng Ier BIbIe und rusIIng up LIe sLeps, Ier
Iusbund beIInd Ier und LIe wIILe mun sLeppIng In IronL oI LIem und
sLreLcIIng ouL IIs urm. "'II jug vou," Ie veIIed, "bv God, 'II jug vou!"
"Tuke vour Iunds oII LIuL womun!" someone cuIIed Irom LIe
crowd.
TIen uL LIe Lop oI LIe sLuIrs LIev were pusIIng uguInsL LIe mun
und suw LIe oId womun IuII buckwurds, und LIe crowd expIoded.
"GeL LIuL puddIe sonoIubILcI!"
"He sLruck Ier!" u WesL ndIun womun screumed InLo mv eur.
"TIe IIILIv bruLe, Ie sLruck Ier!"
"SLund buck or 'II sIooL," LIe mun cuIIed, IIs eves wIId us Ie drew
u gun und bucked InLo LIe doorwuv wIere LIe Lwo LrusLIes sLood
bewIIdered, LIeIr urms IuII oI urLIcIes. " sweur 'II sIooL! You don'L
know wIuL vou're doIng, buL 'II sIooL!"
TIev IesILuLed. "AIn'L buL sIx buIIeLs In LIuL LIIng," u IILLIe IeIIow
cuIIed. "TIen wIuL vou goIng Lo do?"
"YeuI, vou dumn sIo cuInL IIde."
" udvIse vou Lo sLuv ouL oI LIIs," LIe mursIuI cuIIed.
"TIInk vou cun come up Iere und IIL one oI our women, vou u
IooI."
"To IeII wILI uII LIIs LuIk, IeL's rusI LIuL busLurd!"
"You beLLer LIInk LwIce," LIe wIILe mun cuIIed.
suw LIem sLurL up LIe sLeps und IeIL suddenIv us LIougI mv Ieud
wouId spIIL. knew LIuL LIev were ubouL Lo uLLuck LIe mun und wus
boLI uIruId und ungrv, repeIIed und IuscInuLed. boLI wunLed IL und
Ieured LIe consequences, wus ouLruged und ungered uL wIuL suw und
veL surged wILI Ieur; noL Ior LIe mun or oI LIe consequences oI un
uLLuck, buL oI wIuL LIe sIgIL oI vIoIence mIgIL reIeuse In me. And
beneuLI IL uII LIere boIIed up uII LIe sIock-ubsorbIng pIruses LIuL Iud
Ieurned uII mv IIIe. seemed Lo LoLLer on LIe edge oI u greuL durk IoIe.
"No, no," Ieurd mvseII veIIIng. "BIuck men! BroLIers! BIuck
BroLIers! TIuL's noL LIe wuv. We're Iuw-ubIdIng. We're u Iuw-ubIdIng
peopIe und u sIow-Lo-unger peopIe."
orcIng mv wuv quIckIv LIrougI LIe crowd, sLood on LIe sLeps
IucIng LIose In IronL, LuIkIng rupIdIv wILIouL LIougIL buL ouL oI mv
cIusIIng emoLIons. "We're u Iuw-ubIdIng peopIe und u sIow-Lo-unger
peopIe . . ." TIev sLopped, IIsLenIng. Even LIe wIILe mun wus sLurLIed.
"YeuI, buL we mud now," u voIce cuIIed ouL.
"Yes, vou're rIgIL," cuIIed buck. "We're ungrv, buL IeL us be wIse.
eL us, meun IeL us noL . . . eL us Ieurn Irom LIuL greuL Ieuder wIose
wIse ucLIon wus reporLed In LIe newspuper LIe oLIer duv . . ."
"WIuL, muIn? WIo?" u WesL ndIun voIce sIouLed.
"Come on! To IeII wILI LIIs guv, IeL's geL LIuL puddIe beIore LIev
send IIm some IeIp . . ."
"No, wuIL," veIIed. "eL's IoIIow u Ieuder, IeL's orgunIze. OrgunIze.
We need someone IIke LIuL wIse Ieuder, vou reud ubouL IIm, down In
AIubumu. He wus sLrong enougI Lo cIoose Lo do LIe wIse LIIng In spILe
oI wIuL Ie IeIL IImseII . . ."
"WIo, muIn? WIo?"
TIIs wus IL, LIougIL, LIev're IIsLenIng, euger Lo IIsLen.
Nobodv IuugIed. I LIev IuugI, 'II dIe! Lensed mv dIupIrugm.
"TIuL wIse mun," suId, "vou reud ubouL IIm, wIo wIen LIuL
IugILIve escuped Irom LIe mob und run Lo IIs scIooI Ior proLecLIon, LIuL
wIse mun wIo wus sLrong enougI Lo do LIe IeguI LIIng, LIe Iuw-ubIdIng
LIIng, Lo Lurn IIm over Lo LIe Iorces oI Iuw und order . . ."
"YeuI," u voIce rung ouL, "veuI, so LIev couId IvncI IIs uss."
OI, God, LIIs wusn'L IL uL uII. Poor LecInIque und noL uL uII wIuL
InLended.
"He wus u wIse Ieuder," veIIed. "He wus wILIIn LIe Iuw. Now
wusn'L LIuL LIe wIse LIIng Lo do?"
"YeuI, Ie wus wIse uII rIgIL," LIe mun IuugIed ungrIIv. "Now geL
ouL oI LIe wuv so we cun jump LIIs puddIe."
TIe crowd veIIed und IuugIed In response us LIougI IvpnoLIzed.
"BuL wusn'L LIuL LIe Iumun LIIng Lo do? AILer uII, Ie Iud Lo
proLecL IImseII becuuse -"
"He wus u IundkercIIeI-Ieuded ruL!" u womun screumed, Ier
voIce boIIIng wILI conLempL.
"Yes, vou're rIgIL. He wus wIse und cowurdIv, buL wIuL ubouL us?
WIuL ure we Lo do?" veIIed, suddenIv LIrIIIed bv LIe response. "ook
uL IIm," crIed.
"Yes, jusL Iook uL IIm!" un oId IeIIow In u derbv cuIIed ouL us
LIougI unswerIng u preucIer In cIurcI.
"And Iook uL LIuL oId coupIe . . ."
"YeuI, wIuL ubouL SIsLer und BroLIer Provo?" Ie suId. "L's un
ungodIv sIume!"
"And Iook uL LIeIr possessIons uII sLrewn LIere on LIe sIdewuIk.
JusL Iook uL LIeIr possessIons In LIe snow. How oId ure vou, sIr?"
veIIed.
"'m eIgILv-seven," LIe oId mun suId, IIs voIce Iow und
bewIIdered.
"How's LIuL? YeII so our sIow-Lo-unger breLIren cun Ieur vou."
"'m eIgILv-seven veurs oId!"
"DId vou Ieur IIm? He's eIgILv-seven. EIgILv-seven und Iook uL uII
Ie's uccumuIuLed In eIgILv-seven veurs, sLrewn In LIe snow IIke cIIcken
guLs, und we're u Iuw-ubIdIng, sIow-Lo-unger buncI oI IoIks LurnIng LIe
oLIer cIeek everv duv In LIe week. WIuL ure we goIng Lo do? WIuL
wouId vou, wIuL wouId , wIuL wouId Ie Iuve done? WIuL Is Lo be
done? propose we do LIe wIse LIIng, LIe Iuw-ubIdIng LIIng. JusL Iook
uL LIIs junk! SIouId Lwo oId IoIks IIve In sucI junk, cooped up In u IIILIv
room? L's u greuL dunger, u IIre Iuzurd! OId crucked dIsIes und
broken-down cIuIrs. Yes, ves, ves! ook uL LIuL oId womun, somebodv's
moLIer, somebodv's grundmoLIer, muvbe. We cuII LIem 'BIg Mumu'
und LIev spoII us und-vou know, vou remember . . . ook uL Ier quIILs
und broken-down sIoes. know sIe's somebodv's moLIer becuuse
suw un oId breusL pump IuII InLo LIe snow, und sIe's somebodv's
grundmoLIer, becuuse suw u curd LIuL reud 'Deur Grundmu' . . . BuL
we're Iuw-ubIdIng . . . Iooked InLo u buskeL und suw some bones, noL
neckbones, buL rIb bones, knockIng bones . . . TIIs oId coupIe used Lo
dunce . . . suw-WIuL kInd oI work do vou do, uLIer?" cuIIed.
"'m u duv Iuborer . . ."
". . . A duv Iuborer, vou Ieurd IIm, buL Iook uL IIs sLuII sLrewn IIke
cIILLerIIngs In LIe snow . . . WIere Ius uII IIs Iubor gone? s Ie IvIng?"
"HeII, no, Ie uIn'L IvIng."
"Nuw, suI!"
"TIen wIere dId IIs Iubor go? ook uL IIs oId bIues records und
Ier poLs oI pIunLs, LIev're down-Iome IoIks, und evervLIIng Lossed ouL
IIke junk wIIrIed eIgILv-seven veurs In u cvcIone. EIgILv-seven veurs,
und pooI! IIke u snorL In u wIndsLorm. ook uL LIem, LIev Iook IIke mv
mumu und pupu und mv grundmu und grundpu, und Iook IIke vou und
vou Iook IIke me. ook uL LIem buL remember LIuL we're u wIse, Iuw-
ubIdIng group oI peopIe. And remember IL wIen vou Iook up LIere In
LIe doorwuv uL LIuL Iuw sLundIng LIere wILI IIs IorLv-IIve. ook uL IIm,
sLundIng wILI IIs bIue sLeeI pIsLoI und IIs bIue serge suIL. ook uL IIm!
You don'L see jusL one mun dressed In one bIue serge suIL, or one IorLv-
IIve, vou see Len Ior everv one oI us, Len guns und Len wurm suILs und
Len IuL beIIIes und Len mIIIIon Iuws. uws, LIuL's wIuL we cuII LIem
down SouLI! uws! And we're wIse, und Iuw-ubIdIng. And Iook uL LIIs
oId womun wILI Ier dog-eured BIbIe. WIuL's sIe LrvIng Lo brIng oII
Iere? SIe's IeL Ier reIIgIon go Lo Ier Ieud, buL we uII know LIuL reIIgIon
Is Ior LIe IeurL, noL Ior LIe Ieud. 'BIessed ure LIe pure In IeurL,' IL suvs.
NoLIIng ubouL LIe poor In Ieud. WIuL's sIe LrvIng Lo do? WIuL ubouL
LIe cIeur oI Ieud? And LIe cIeur oI eve, LIe Ice-wuLer-vIsIoned wIo see
Loo cIeur Lo mIss u IIe? ook ouL LIere uL Ier cubIneL wILI ILs gupIng
druwers. EIgILv-seven veurs Lo IIII LIem, und IuII oI brIck und bruck, u
brIc-u-bruc, und sIe wunLs Lo breuk LIe Iuw . . . WIuL's Iuppened Lo
LIem? TIev're our peopIe, vour peopIe und mIne, vour purenLs und
mIne. WIuL's Iuppened Lo 'em?"
"'II LeII vou!" u IeuvvweIgIL veIIed, pusIIng ouL oI LIe crowd, IIs
Iuce ungrv. "HeII, LIev been dIspossessed, vou cruzv sonoIubILcI, geL
ouL LIe wuv!"
"DIspossessed?" crIed, IoIdIng up mv Iund und uIIowIng LIe
word Lo wIIsLIe Irom mv LIrouL. "TIuL's u good word, 'DIspossessed'!
'DIspossessed,' eIgILv-seven veurs und dIspossessed oI wIuL? TIev uIn'L
goL noLIIng, LIev cuInL geL noLIIng, LIev never Iud noLIIng. So wIo
wus dIspossessed?" growIed. "We're Iuw-ubIdIng. So wIo's beIng
dIspossessed? Cun IL be us? TIese oId ones ure ouL In LIe snow, buL
we're Iere wILI LIem. ook uL LIeIr sLuII, noL u pIL Lo IIss In, nor u
wIndow Lo sIouL LIe news und us rIgIL wILI LIem. ook uL LIem, noL u
sIuck Lo pruv In or un uIIev Lo sIng LIe bIues! TIev're IucIng u gun und
we're IucIng IL wILI LIem. TIev don'L wunL LIe worId, buL onIv Jesus.
TIev onIv wunL Jesus, jusL IIILeen mInuLes oI Jesus on LIe rug-bure
IIoor . . . How ubouL IL, Mr. uw? Do we geL our IIILeen mInuLes worLI
oI Jesus? You goL LIe worId, cun we Iuve our Jesus?"
" goL mv orders, Muc," LIe mun cuIIed, wuvIng LIe pIsLoI wILI u
sneer. "You're doIng uII rIgIL, LeII 'em Lo keep ouL oI LIIs. TIIs Is IeguI
und 'II sIooL II Iuve Lo . . ."
"BuL wIuL ubouL LIe pruver?"
"TIev don'L go buck!"
"Are vou posILIve?"
"You couId beL vour IIIe," Ie suId.
"ook uL IIm," cuIIed Lo LIe ungrv crowd. "WILI IIs bIue sLeeI
pIsLoI und IIs bIue serge suIL. You Ieurd IIm, Ie's LIe Iuw. He suvs Ie'II
sIooL us down becuuse we're u Iuw-ubIdIng peopIe. So we've been
dIspossessed, und wIuL's more, Ie LIInks Ie's God. ook up LIere
bucked uguInsL LIe posL wILI u crImInuI on eILIer sIde oI IIm. Cun'L vou
IeeI LIe coId wInd, cun'L vou Ieur IL uskIng, 'WIuL dId vou do wILI vour
Ieuvv Iubor? WIuL dId vou do?' WIen vou Iook uL uII vou Iuven'L goL In
eIgILv-seven veurs vou IeeI usIumed -"
"TeII 'em ubouL IL, broLIer," un oId mun InLerrupLed. "L mukes vou
IeeI vou uIn'L u mun."
"Yes, LIese oId IoIks Iud u dreum book, buL LIe puges wenL bIunk
und IL IuIIed Lo gIve LIem LIe number. L wus cuIIed LIe SeeIng Eve, TIe
GreuL ConsLILuLIonuI Dreum Book, TIe SecreLs oI AIrIcu, TIe WIsdom
oI EgvpL-buL LIe eve wus bIInd, IL IosL ILs IusLer. L's uII cuLurucLed IIke
u cross-eved curpenLer und IL doesn'L suw sLruIgIL. AII we Iuve Is LIe
BIbIe und LIIs uw Iere ruIes LIuL ouL. So wIere do we go? WIere do
we go Irom Iere, wILIouL u poL -"
"We goIng uILer LIuL puddIe," LIe IeuvvweIgIL cuIIed, rusIIng up
LIe sLeps.
Someone pusIed me. "No, wuIL," cuIIed.
"GeL ouL LIe wuv now."
TIere wus u rusI uguInsL me und IeII, IeurIng u sIngIe expIosIon,
buckwurd InLo u wIIrI oI mIIIIng Iegs, oversIoes, LIe LrumpIed snow
coId on mv Iunds. AnoLIer sIoL sounded ubove IIke u bursLIng bug.
MunugIng Lo sLund, suw uLop LIe sLeps LIe IIsL wILI LIe gun beIng
Iorced InLo LIe uIr ubove LIe crowd's bobbIng Ieuds und LIe nexL
InsLunL LIev were druggIng IIm down InLo LIe snow; puncIIng IIm IeIL
und rIgIL, uLLerIng u Iow Lense sweIIIng sound oI desperuLe eIIorL; u
grunL LIuL expIoded InLo u LIousund soILIv spuL, IuLe-sIzzIIng curses.
suw u womun sLrIkIng wILI LIe poInLed IeeI oI Ier sIoe, Ier Iuce u
bIunk musk wILI IoIIow bIuck eves us sIe uImed und sLruck, uImed und
sLruck, brIngIng spurLs oI bIood, runnIng uIong besIde LIe mun wIo
wus drugged Lo IIs IeeL now us LIev puncIed IIm guunLIeL-wIse
beLween LIem. SuddenIv suw u puIr oI IundcuIIs urc gIeumIng InLo LIe
uIr und suII ucross LIe sLreeL. A bov broke ouL oI LIe crowd, LIe
mursIuI's snuppv IuL on IIs Ieud. TIe mursIuI wus spun LIIs wuv und
LIuL, LIen u swIIL LuLLoo oI bIows sLurLed IIm down LIe sLreeL. wus
besIde mvseII wILI excILemenL. TIe crowd surged uILer IIm, mIIIIng IIke
u Iuge mun LrvIng Lo Lurn In u cubbvIoIe-some oI LIem IuugIIng,
some cursIng, some InLenLIv sIIenL.
"TIe bruLe sLruck LIuL genLIe womun, poor LIIng!" LIe WesL
ndIun womun cIunLed. "BIuck men, dId vou ever see sucI u bruLe? s
Ie u genLIemun, usk vou? TIe bruLe! GIve IL buck Lo IIm, bIuck men.
Repuv LIe bruLe u LIousundIoId! GIve IL buck Lo IIm unLo LIe LIIrd und
IourLI generuLIons. SLrIke IIm, our IIne bIuck men. ProLecL vour bIuck
women! Repuv LIe urrogunL creuLure Lo LIe LIIrd und IourLI
generuLIons!"
"We're dIspossessed," sung uL LIe Lop oI mv voIce, "dIspossessed
und we wunL Lo pruv. eL's go In und pruv. eL's Iuve u bIg pruver
meeLIng. BuL we'II need some cIuIrs Lo sIL In . . . resL upon us we kneeI.
We'II need some cIuIrs!"
"Here's some cIuIrs down Iere," u womun cuIIed Irom LIe wuIk.
"How 'bouL LukIng In some cIuIrs?"
"Sure," cuIIed, "Luke evervLIIng. Tuke IL uII, IIde LIuL junk! PuL IL
buck wIere IL cume Irom. L's bIockIng LIe sLreeL und LIe sIdewuIk, und
LIuL's uguInsL LIe Iuw. We're Iuw-ubIdIng, so cIeur LIe sLreeL oI LIe
debrIs. PuL IL ouL oI sIgIL! HIde IL, IIde LIeIr sIume! HIde our sIume!
"Come on, men," veIIed, dusIIng down LIe sLeps und seIzIng u
cIuIr und sLurLIng buck, no Ionger sLruggIIng uguInsL or LIInkIng ubouL
LIe nuLure oI mv ucLIon. TIe oLIers IoIIowed, pIckIng up pIeces oI
IurnILure und IuggIng LIem buck InLo LIe buIIdIng.
"We ougIL Lo done LIIs Iong ugo," u mun suId.
"We dumn sIo sIouId."
" IeeI so good," u womun suId, " IeeI so good!"
"BIuck men, 'm proud oI vou," LIe WesL ndIun womun sIrIIIed.
"Proud!"
We rusIed InLo LIe durk IILLIe upurLmenL LIuL smeIIed oI sLuIe
cubbuge und puL LIe pIeces down und reLurned Ior more. Men, women
und cIIIdren seIzed urLIcIes und dusIed InsIde sIouLIng, IuugIIng.
Iooked Ior LIe Lwo LrusLIes, buL LIev seemed Lo Iuve dIsuppeured. TIen,
comIng down InLo LIe sLreeL, LIougIL suw one. He wus currvIng u
cIuIr buck InsIde.
"So vou're Iuw-ubIdIng Loo," cuIIed onIv Lo become uwure LIuL IL
wus someone eIse. A wIILe mun buL someone eIse uILogeLIer.
TIe mun IuugIed uL me und conLInued InsIde. And wIen reucIed
LIe sLreeL LIere were severuI oI LIem, men und women, sLundIng ubouL,
cIeerIng wIenever unoLIer pIece oI IurnILure wus reLurned. L wus IIke
u IoIIduv. dIdn'L wunL IL Lo sLop.
"WIo ure LIose peopIe?" cuIIed Irom LIe sLeps.
"WIuL peopIe?" someone cuIIed buck.
"TIose," suId, poInLIng.
"You meun LIose oIuvs?"
"Yes, wIuL do LIev wunL?"
"We're IrIends oI LIe peopIe," one oI LIe wIILe men cuIIed.
"rIends oI wIuL peopIe?" cuIIed, prepured Lo jump down upon
IIm II Ie unswered, "You peopIe."
"We're IrIends oI uII LIe common peopIe," Ie sIouLed. "We cume
up Lo IeIp."
"We beIIeve In broLIerIood," unoLIer cuIIed.
"WeII, pIck up LIuL soIu und come on," cuIIed. wus uneusv ubouL
LIeIr presence und dIsuppoInLed wIen LIev uII joIned LIe crowd und
sLurLed IuggIng LIe evIcLed urLIcIes buck InsIde. WIere Iud Ieurd oI
LIem?
"WIv don'L we sLuge u murcI?" one oI LIe wIILe men cuIIed, goIng
pusL.
"WIv don'L we murcI!" veIIed ouL Lo LIe sIdewuIk beIore Iud
LIme Lo LIInk.
TIev Look IL up ImmedIuLeIv.
"eL's murcI . . ."
"L's u good Ideu."
"eL's Iuve u demonsLruLIon . . ."
"eL's purude!"
Ieurd LIe sIren und suw LIe scouL curs swIng InLo LIe bIock In LIe
sume InsLunL. L wus LIe poIIce! Iooked InLo LIe crowd, LrvIng Lo Iocus
upon LIeIr Iuces, IeurIng someone veII, "Here come LIe cops," und
oLIers unswerIng, "eL 'em come!"
WIere Is uII LIIs IeudIng? LIougIL, seeIng u wIILe mun run InsIde
LIe buIIdIng us LIe poIIcemen dusIed Irom LIeIr curs und cume runnIng
up.
"WIuL's goIng on Iere?" u goId-sIIeId oIIIcer cuIIed up LIe sLeps.
L Iud become sIIenL. No one unswered.
" suId, wIuL's goIng on Iere," Ie repeuLed. "You," Ie cuIIed,
poInLIng sLruIgIL uL me.
"We've . . . we've been cIeurIng LIe sIdewuIk oI u IoL oI junk,"
cuIIed, Lense InsIde.
"WIuL's LIuL?" Ie suId.
"L's u cIeun-up cumpuIgn," cuIIed, wunLIng Lo IuugI. "TIese oId
IoIks Iud uII LIeIr sLuII cIuLLerIng up LIe sIdewuIk und we cIeured LIe
sLreeL . . ."
"You meun vou're InLerIerIng wILI un evIcLIon," Ie cuIIed, sLurLIng
LIrougI LIe crowd.
"He uIn'L doIng noLIIng," u womun cuIIed Irom beIInd me.
Iooked uround, LIe sLeps beIInd were IIIIed wILI LIose wIo Iud
been InsIde.
"We're uII LogeLIer," someone cuIIed, us LIe crowd cIosed In.
"CIeur LIe sLreeLs," LIe oIIIcer ordered.
"TIuL's wIuL we were doIng," someone cuIIed Irom buck In LIe
crowd.
"MuIonev!" Ie beIIowed Lo unoLIer poIIcemun, "send In u rIoL
cuII!"
"WIuL rIoL?" one oI LIe wIILe men cuIIed Lo IIm. "TIere's no rIoL."
"I suv LIere's u rIoL, LIere's u rIoL," LIe oIIIcer suId. "And wIuL
ure vou wIILe peopIe doIng up Iere In HurIem?"
"We're cILIzens. We go unvwIere we IIke."
"IsLen! Here come some more cops!" someone cuIIed.
"eL LIem come!"
"eL LIe CommIssIoner come!"
L becume Loo mucI Ior me. TIe wIoIe LIIng Iud goLLen ouL oI
Iund. WIuL Iud suId Lo brIng on uII LIIs? edged Lo LIe buck oI LIe
crowd on LIe sLeps und bucked InLo LIe IuIIwuv. WIere wouId go?
IurrIed up Lo LIe oId coupIe's upurLmenL. BuL cun'L IIde Iere,
LIougIL, IeudIng buck Ior LIe sLuIrs.
"No. You cun'L go LIuL wuv," u voIce suId.
wIIrIed. L wus u wIILe gIrI sLundIng In LIe door.
"WIuL ure vou doIng In Iere?" sIouLed, mv Ieur LurnIng Lo
IeverIsI unger.
" dIdn'L meun Lo sLurLIe vou," sIe suId. "BroLIer, LIuL wus quILe u
speecI vou mude. Ieurd jusL LIe end oI IL, buL vou cerLuInIv moved
LIem Lo ucLIon . . ."
"AcLIon," suId, "ucLIon -"
"Don'L be modesL, broLIer," sIe suId, " Ieurd vou."
"ook, MIss, we'd beLLer geL ouL oI Iere," suId, IInuIIv conLroIIIng
LIe LIrobbIng In mv LIrouL. "TIere ure u IoL oI poIIcemen downsLuIrs
und more comIng."
"OI, ves. You'd beLLer go over LIe rooI," sIe suId. "OLIerwIse,
someone Is sure Lo poInL vou ouL."
"Over LIe rooI?"
"L's eusv. JusL go up Lo LIe rooI oI LIe buIIdIng und keep crossIng
unLII vou reucI LIe Iouse uL LIe end oI LIe bIock. TIen open LIe door
und wuIk down us LIougI vou've been vIsILIng. You'd beLLer Iurrv. TIe
Ionger vou remuIn unknown Lo LIe poIIce, LIe Ionger vou'II be
eIIecLIve."
EIIecLIve? LIougIL. WIuL dId sIe meun? And wIuL wus LIIs
"broLIer" busIness?
"TIunks," suId, und IurrIed Ior LIe sLuIrs.
"Good-bve," Ier voIce rose IIuIdIv beIInd me. Lurned, gIImpsIng
Ier wIILe Iuce In LIe dIm IIgIL oI LIe durkened doorwuv.
Look LIe IIIgIL In u bound und cuuLIousIv opened LIe door, und
suddenIv LIe sun IIured on LIe rooI und IL wus wIndv coId. BeIore me
LIe Iow, snow-cuked wuIIs dIvIdIng LIe buIIdIngs sLreLcIed IurdIe-IIke
LIe Iong IengLI oI LIe bIock Lo LIe corner, und beIore me empLv
cIoLIesIInes LrembIed In LIe wInd. mude mv wuv LIrougI LIe wInd-
curved snow Lo LIe nexL rooI und LIen Lo LIe nexL, goIng wILI swIIL
cuuLIon. PIunes were rIsIng over un uIrIIeId Iur Lo LIe souLIeusL, und
wus runnIng now und seeIng uII LIe cIurcI sLeepIes rIsIng und IuIIIng
und sLucks wILI smoke IeunIng sIurp uguInsL LIe skv, und beIow In LIe
sLreeL LIe sound oI sIrens und sIouLIng. IurrIed. TIen, cIImbIng over
u wuII Iooked buck, seeIng u mun IurrvIng uILer me, sIIppIng, sIIdIng,
goIng over LIe Iow dIvIdIng wuIIs oI LIe rooIs wILI puIIIng, busLIIng
eIIorL. Lurned und run, LrvIng Lo puL LIe rows oI cIImnevs beLween us,
wonderIng wIv Ie dIdn'L veII "HuIL!" or sIouL, or sIooL. run, dodgIng
beIInd un eIevuLor IousIng, LIen dusIIng Lo LIe nexL rooI, goIng down,
LIe snow coId Lo mv Iunds, knees sLrIkIng, Loes grIppIng, und up und
runnIng und IookIng buck, seeIng LIe sIorL IIgure In bIuck sLIII runnIng
uILer. TIe corner seemed u mIIe uwuv. LrIed Lo counL LIe number oI
rooIs LIuL bounced beIore me veL Lo be crossed. GeLLIng Lo seven, run,
IeurIng sIouLs, more sIrens, und IookIng buck und IIm sLIII beIInd me,
runnIng In u sIorL-Iegged scrumbIe, sLIII beIInd me us LrIed Lo open
LIe door oI u buIIdIng Lo go down und IIndIng IL sLuck und runnIng once
more, LrvIng Lo zIg-zug In LIe snow und IeeIIng LIe cruncI oI gruveI
underneuLI, und beIInd me sLIII, us swung over u purLILIon und wenL
brusIIng pusL u Iuge coLe und urousIng u IIIgIL oI IrunLIc wIILe bIrds,
suddenIv us Iurge us buzzurds us LIev beuL IurIousIv uguInsL mv eves,
duzzIIng LIe sun us LIev IIuLLered up und uwuv und uround In u IurIous
gIIde und me runnIng uguIn und IookIng buck und Ior u spIIL second
LIInkIng IIm gone und once more seeIng IIm bobbIng uILer. WIv
doesn'L Ie sIooL? WIv? I onIv IL were IIke uL Iome wIere knew
someone In uII LIe Iouses, knew LIem bv sIgIL und bv nume, bv bIood
und bv buckground, bv sIume und prIde, und bv reIIgIon.
L wus u curpeLed IuII und moved down wILI poundIng IeurL us u
dog seL up u LerrIIIc dIn wILIIn LIe Lop upurLmenL. TIen moved
quIckIv, mv bodv IIke gIuss InsIde us skIpped downwurd oII LIe edges
oI LIe sLuIrs. ookIng down LIe sLuIrweII suw puIe IIgIL IIILerIng
LIrougI LIe door gIuss, Iur beIow. BuL wIuL Iud Iuppened Lo LIe gIrI,
Iud sIe puL LIe mun on mv LruII? WIuL wus sIe doIng LIere? bounded
down, no one cIuIIengIng me, und sLopped In LIe vesLIbuIe, breuLIIng
deepIv und IIsLenIng Ior IIs Iund upon LIe door ubove und brusIIng mv
cIoLIIng InLo order. TIen sLepped InLo LIe sLreeL wILI u noncIuIunce
copIed Irom cIurucLers Iud seen In LIe movIes. No sound Irom ubove,
noL even LIe muIIcIous noLe oI LIe burkIng dog.
L wus u Iong bIock und Iud come down InLo u buIIdIng LIuL Iuced
noL LIe sLreeL buL LIe uvenue. A squud oI mounLed poIIcemen IusIed
LIemseIves uround LIe corner und guIIoped pusL, LIe IorsesIoes
LIuddIng duIIv LIrougI LIe snow, LIe men rIsIng IIgI In LIeIr suddIes,
sIouLIng. pIcked up speed, cureIuI noL Lo run, IeudIng uwuv. TIIs wus
uwIuI. WIuL on eurLI Iud suId Lo Iuve brougIL on uII LIIs? How wouId
IL end? Someone mIgIL be kIIIed. Heuds wouId be pIsLoI-wIIpped.
sLopped uL LIe corner, IookIng Ior LIe pursuIng mun, LIe deLecLIve, und
Ior u bus. TIe Iong wIILe sLreLcI oI sLreeL wus empLv, LIe uroused
pIgeons sLIII cIrcIIng overIeud. scunned LIe rooIs, expecLIng Lo see
IIm peerIng down. TIe sound oI sIouLIng conLInued Lo rIse, LIen
unoLIer green und wIILe puLroI cur wus wIInIng uround LIe corner und
speedIng pusL me, IeudIng Ior LIe bIock. cuL LIrougI u bIock In wIIcI
LIere were cIose Lo u dozen IuneruI purIors, eucI decked ouL wILI neon
sIgns, uII seL up In oId brownsLone buIIdIngs. EIuboruLe IuneruI curs
sLood uIong LIe curb, one u duII bIuck wILI wIndows sIuped IIke GoLIIc
urcIes, LIrougI wIIcI suw IuneruI IIowers pIIed upon u cuskeL.
IurrIed on.
couId see LIe gIrI's Iuce sLIII, beIow LIe sIorL IIIgIL oI sLuIrs. BuL
wIo wus LIe IIgure LIuL Iud crossed LIe rooI beIInd me? CIused me?
WIv Iud Ie been so sIIenL, und wIv wus LIere onIv one? Yes, und wIv
Iudn'L LIev senL u puLroI cur Lo pIck me up? IurrIed ouL oI LIe bIock oI
IuneruI purIors InLo LIe brIgIL sun LIuL swepL LIe snow oI LIe uvenue,
sIowIng Lo u IeIsureIv wuIk now, LrvIng Lo gIve LIe ImpressIon oI u
compIeLe Iuck oI IusLe. Ionged Lo Iook sLupId, uLLerIv IncupubIe oI
LIougIL or speecI, und LrIed Lo sIuIIIe mv IeeL over LIe wuIk, buL quIL
wILI dIsLusLe uILer sLeuIIng u gIunce beIInd me. JusL uIeud suw u cur
puII up und u mun Ieup ouL wILI u pIvsIcIun's bug.
"Hurrv, DocLor," u mun cuIIed Irom LIe sLoop, "sIe's uIreudv In
Iubor!"
"Good," LIe docLor cuIIed. "TIuL's wIuL we've been wuILIng Ior,
Isn'L IL?"
"YeuI, buL IL dIdn'L sLurL wIen we expecLed IL."
wuLcIed LIem dIsuppeur InsIde LIe IuII. WIuL u IeII oI u LIme Lo
be born, LIougIL. AL LIe corner joIned severuI peopIe wuILIng Ior LIe
IIgILs Lo cIunge. Iud jusL ubouL convInced mvseII LIuL Iud escuped
successIuIIv wIen u quIeL, peneLruLIng voIce besIde me suId, "TIuL wus
u musLerIuI bIL oI persuusIon, broLIer."
SuddenIv wound LIgIL us u LensIoned sprIng Lurned uImosL
IeLIurgIcuIIv. A sIorL InsIgnIIIcunL-IookIng busIv-evebrowed mun, wILI
u quIeL smIIe on IIs Iuce sLood besIde me, IookIng noL uL uII IIke u
poIIcemun.
"WIuL do vou meun?" usked, mv voIce Iuzv, dIsLunL.
"Don'L be uIurmed," Ie suId, "'m u IrIend."
"'ve goL noLIIng Lo be uIurmed ubouL, und vou're no IrIend oI
mIne."
"TIen suv LIuL 'm un udmIrer," Ie suId pIeusunLIv.
"AdmIrer oI wIuL?"
"OI vour speecI," Ie suId. " wus IIsLenIng."
"WIuL speecI? mude no speecI," suId.
He smIIed knowIngIv. " cun see LIuL vou Iuve been weII LruIned.
Come, IL Isn'L good Ior vou Lo be seen wILI me In LIe sLreeL. eL's go
somewIere Ior u cup oI coIIee."
SomeLIIng LoId me Lo reIuse, buL wus InLrIgued und, underneuLI
IL uII, wus probubIv IIuLLered. BesIdes, II reIused Lo go, IL wouId be
Luken us un udmIssIon oI guIIL. And Ie dIdn'L Iook IIke u poIIcemun or u
deLecLIve. wenL sIIenLIv besIde IIm Lo u cuIeLerIu down neur LIe end oI
LIe bIock, seeIng IIm peer InsIde LIrougI LIe wIndow beIore we
enLered.
"You geL LIe LubIe, broLIer. Over LIere neur LIe wuII wIere we cun
LuIk In peuce. 'II geL LIe coIIee."
wuLcIed IIm goIng ucross LIe IIoor wILI u bouncv, roIIIng sLep,
LIen Iound u LubIe und suL wuLcIIng IIm. L wus wurm In LIe cuIeLerIu.
L wus IuLe uILernoon now onIv u Iew cusLomers were scuLLered uL LIe
LubIes. wuLcIed LIe mun goIng IumIIIurIv Lo LIe Iood counLer und
orderIng. HIs movemenLs, us Ie peered LIrougI LIe brIgILIv IIgILed
sIeIves oI pusLrv, were LIose oI u IIveIv smuII unImuI, u Ivce, InLeresLed
In deLecLIng onIv LIe LurgeL cuL oI cuke. So Ie's Ieurd mv speecI; weII,
'II Ieur wIuL Ie Ius Lo suv, LIougIL, seeIng IIm sLurL Lowurd me wILI
IIs rupId, roIIIng, bouncv, IeeI-und-Loev sLep. L wus us LIougI Ie Iud
LuugIL IImseII Lo wuIk LIuL wuv und Iud u IeeIIng LIuL someIow Ie
wus ucLIng u purL; LIuL someLIIng ubouL IIm wusn'L exucLIv reuI-un
Ideu wIIcI dIsmIssed ImmedIuLeIv, sInce LIere wus u quuIILv oI
unreuIILv over LIe wIoIe uILernoon. He cume sLruIgIL Lo LIe LubIe
wILIouL IuvIng Lo Iook ubouL Ior me, us LIougI Ie Iud expecLed me Lo
Luke LIuL purLIcuIur LubIe und no oLIer-uILIougI munv LubIes were
vucunL. He wus buIuncIng u pIuLe oI cuke on Lop oI eucI cup, seLLIng
LIem down deILIv und sIovIng one Lowurd me us Ie Look IIs cIuIr.
" LIougIL vou mIgIL IIke u pIece oI cIeese cuke," Ie suId.
"CIeese cuke?" suId. "'ve never Ieurd oI IL."
"L's nIce. Sugur?"
"Go uIeud," suId.
"No, uILer vou, broLIer."
Iooked uL IIm, LIen poured LIree spoonIuIs und sIoved LIe
sIuker Lowurd IIm. wus Lense uguIn.
"TIunks," suId, repressIng un ImpuIse Lo cuII IIm down ubouL LIe
"broLIer" busIness.
He smIIed, cuLLIng InLo IIs cIeese cuke wILI u Iork und sIovIng Iur
Loo Iurge u pIece InLo IIs mouLI. HIs munners ure exLremeIv crude,
LIougIL, LrvIng Lo puL IIm uL u dIsudvunLuge In mv own mInd bv
poInLedIv LukIng u smuII pIece oI LIe cIeesv sLuII und pIucIng IL neuLIv
InLo mv mouLI.
"You know," Ie suId, LukIng u guIp oI coIIee, " Iuven'L Ieurd sucI
un eIIecLIve pIece oI eIoquence sInce LIe duvs wIen wus In-weII, In u
Iong LIme. You uroused LIem so quIckIv Lo ucLIon. don'L undersLund
Iow vou munuged IL. I onIv some oI our speukers couId Iuve IIsLened!
WILI u Iew words vou Iud LIem InvoIved In ucLIon! OLIers wouId Iuve
sLIII been wusLIng LIme wILI empLv verbIuge. wunL Lo LIunk vou Ior u
mosL InsLrucLIve experIence!"
drunk mv coIIee sIIenLIv. NoL onIv dId dIsLrusL IIm, dIdn'L
know Iow mucI couId suIeIv suv.
"TIe cIeese cuke Iere Is good," Ie suId beIore couId unswer. "L's
reuIIv verv good. Bv LIe wuv, wIere dId vou Ieurn Lo speuk?"
"NowIere," suId, mucI Loo quIckIv.
"TIen vou're verv LuIenLed. You ure u nuLuruI. L's Iurd Lo beIIeve."
" wus sImpIv ungrv," suId, decIdIng Lo udmIL LIIs mucI In order
Lo see wIuL Ie wouId reveuI.
"TIen vour unger wus skIIIIuIIv conLroIIed. L Iud eIoquence. WIv
wus LIuL?"
"WIv? suppose IeIL sorrv- don'L know. Muvbe jusL IeIL IIke
mukIng u speecI. TIere wus LIe crowd wuILIng, so suId u Iew words.
You mIgIL noL beIIeve IL, buL dIdn'L know wIuL wus goIng Lo suv . . ."
"PIeuse," Ie suId, wILI u knowIng smIIe.
"WIuL do vou meun?" suId.
"You Lrv Lo sound cvnIcuI, buL see LIrougI vou. know, IIsLened
verv cureIuIIv Lo wIuL vou Iud Lo suv. You were enormousIv moved.
Your emoLIons were LoucIed."
" guess so," suId. "Muvbe seeIng LIem remInded me oI
someLIIng."
He Ieuned Iorwurd, wuLcIIng me InLenseIv now, LIe smIIe sLIII on
IIs IIps.
"DId IL remInd vou oI peopIe vou know?"
" guess IL dId," suId.
" LIInk undersLund. You were wuLcIIng u deuLI -"
dropped mv Iork. "No one wus kIIIed," suId LenseIv. "WIuL ure
vou LrvIng Lo do?"
"A DeuLI on LIe CILv PuvemenLs-LIuL's LIe LILIe oI u deLecLIve
sLorv or someLIIng reud somewIere . . ." He IuugIed. " onIv meun
meLu-pIor-IcuIIv speukIng. TIev're IIvIng, buL deud. Deud-In-IIvIng . . .
u unILv oI opposILes."
"OI," suId. WIuL kInd oI doubIe LuIk wus LIIs?
"TIe oId ones, LIev're ugrurIun Lvpes, vou know. BeIng ground up
bv IndusLrIuI condILIons. TIrown on LIe dump Ieups und cusL usIde.
You poInLed IL ouL verv weII. 'EIgILv-seven veurs und noLIIng Lo sIow
Ior IL,' vou suId. You were ubsoIuLeIv correcL."
" suppose LIuL seeIng LIem IIke LIuL mude me IeeI preLLv bud,"
suId.
"Yes, oI course. And vou mude un eIIecLIve speecI. BuL vou musn'L
wusLe vour emoLIons on IndIvIduuIs, LIev don'L counL."
"WIo doesn'L counL?" suId.
"TIose oId ones," Ie suId grImIv. "L's sud, ves. BuL LIev're uIreudv
deud, deIuncL. HIsLorv Ius pussed LIem bv. UnIorLunuLe, buL LIere's
noLIIng Lo do ubouL LIem. TIev're IIke deud IImbs LIuL musL be pruned
uwuv so LIuL LIe Lree muv beur voung IruIL or LIe sLorms oI IIsLorv wIII
bIow LIem down unvwuv. BeLLer LIe sLorm sIouId IIL LIem -"
"BuL Iook -"
"No, IeL me conLInue. TIese peopIe ure oId. Men grow oId und
Lvpes oI men grow oId. And LIese ure verv oId. AII LIev Iuve IeIL Is LIeIr
reIIgIon. TIuL's uII LIev cun LIInk ubouL. So LIev'II be cusL usIde. TIev're
deud, vou see, becuuse LIev're IncupubIe oI rIsIng Lo LIe necessILv oI LIe
IIsLorIcuI sILuuLIon."
"BuL IIke LIem," suId. " IIke LIem, LIev remInded me oI IoIks
know down SouLI. L's Luken me u Iong LIme Lo IeeI IL, buL LIev're IoIks
jusL IIke me, excepL LIuL 've been Lo scIooI u Iew veurs."
He wugged IIs round red Ieud. "OI, no, broLIer; vou're mIsLuken
und vou're senLImenLuI. You're noL IIke LIem. PerIups vou were, buL
vou're noL unv Ionger. OLIerwIse vou'd never Iuve mude LIuL speecI.
PerIups vou were, buL LIuL's uII pusL, deud. You mIgIL noL recognIze IL
jusL now, buL LIuL purL oI vou Is deud! You Iuve noL compIeLeIv sIed
LIuL seII, LIuL oId ugrurIun seII, buL IL's deud und vou wIII LIrow IL oII
compIeLeIv und emerge someLIIng new. HIsLorv Ius been born In vour
bruIn."
"ook," suId, " don'L know wIuL vou're LuIkIng ubouL. 've never
IIved on u Iurm und dIdn'L sLudv ugrIcuILure, buL do know wIv
mude LIuL speecI."
"TIen wIv?"
"Becuuse wus upseL over seeIng LIose oId IoIks puL ouL In LIe
sLreeL, LIuL's wIv. don'L cure wIuL vou cuII IL, wus ungrv."
He sIrugged. "eL's noL urgue ubouL IL," Ie suId. "'ve u noLIon vou
couId do IL uguIn. PerIups vou wouId be InLeresLed In workIng Ior us."
"or wIom?" usked, suddenIv excILed. WIuL wus Ie LrvIng Lo do?
"WILI our orgunIzuLIon. We need u good speuker Ior LIIs dIsLrIcL.
Someone wIo cun urLIcuIuLe LIe grIevunces oI LIe peopIe," Ie suId.
"BuL nobodv cures ubouL LIeIr grIevunces," suId. "Suppose LIev
were urLIcuIuLed, wIo wouId IIsLen or cure?"
"TIev exIsL," Ie suId wILI IIs knowIng smIIe. "TIev exIsL, und
wIen LIe crv oI proLesL Is sounded, LIere ure LIose wIo wIII Ieur IL und
ucL."
TIere wus someLIIng mvsLerIous und smug In LIe wuv Ie spoke,
us LIougI Ie Iud evervLIIng IIgured ouL-wIuLever Ie wus LuIkIng
ubouL. ook uL LIIs verv mosL cerLuIn wIILe mun, LIougIL. He dIdn'L
even reuIIze LIuL wus uIruId und veL Ie speuks so conIIdenLIv. goL Lo
mv IeeL, "'m sorrv," suId, " Iuve u job und 'm noL InLeresLed In
unvone's grIevunces buL mv own . . ."
"BuL vou were concerned wILI LIuL oId coupIe," Ie suId wILI
nurrowed eves. "Are LIev reIuLIves oI vours?"
"Sure, we're uII bIuck," suId, begInnIng Lo IuugI.
He smIIed, IIs eves InLense upon mv Iuce.
"SerIousIv, ure LIev vour reIuLIves?"
"Sure, we were burned In LIe sume oven," suId.
TIe eIIecL wus eIecLrIc. "WIv do vou IeIIows uIwuvs LuIk In Lerms
oI ruce!" Ie snupped, IIs eves bIuzIng.
"WIuL oLIer Lerms do vou know?" suId, puzzIed. "You LIInk
wouId Iuve been uround LIere II LIev Iud been wIILe?"
He LIrew up IIs Iunds und IuugIed. "eL's noL urgue LIuL now," Ie
suId. "You were verv eIIecLIve In IeIpIng LIem. cun'L beIIeve LIuL
vou're sucI un IndIvIduuIIsL us vou preLend. You uppeured Lo be u mun
wIo knew IIs duLv Lowurd LIe peopIe und perIormed IL weII. WIuLever
vou LIInk ubouL IL personuIIv, vou were u spokesmun Ior vour peopIe
und vou Iuve u duLv Lo work In LIeIr InLeresL."
He wus Loo compIIcuLed Ior me. "ook, mv IrIend, LIunks Ior LIe
coIIee und cuke. Iuve no more InLeresL In LIose oId IoIks LIun In vour
job. wunLed Lo muke u speecI. IIke Lo muke speecIes. WIuL
Iuppened uILerwurds Is u mvsLerv Lo me. You pIcked LIe wrong mun.
You sIouId Iuve sLopped one oI LIose IeIIows wIo sLurLed veIIIng uL LIe
poIIcemen . . ." sLood up.
"WuIL u second," Ie suId, producIng u pIece oI enveIope und
scrIbbIIng someLIIng. "You mIgIL cIunge vour mInd. As Ior LIose
oLIers, know LIem uIreudv."
Iooked uL LIe wIILe puper In IIs exLended Iund.
"You ure wIse Lo dIsLrusL me," Ie suId. "You don'L know wIo um
und vou don'L LrusL me. TIuL's us IL sIouId be. BuL don'L gIve up Iope,
becuuse some duv vou wIII Iook me up on vour own uccord und IL wIII
be dIIIerenL, Ior LIen vou'II be reudv. JusL cuII LIIs number und usk Ior
BroLIer Juck. You needn'L gIve me vour nume, jusL menLIon our
conversuLIon. SIouId vou decIde LonIgIL, gIve me u rIng ubouL eIgIL."
"Okuv," suId, LukIng LIe puper. " doubL II 'II ever need IL, buL
wIo knows?"
"WeII, vou LIInk ubouL IL, broLIer. TImes ure gruve und vou seem
verv IndIgnunL."
" onIv wunLed Lo muke u speecI," suId uguIn.
"BuL vou were IndIgnunL. And someLImes LIe dIIIerence beLween
IndIvIduuI und orgunIzed IndIgnuLIon Is LIe dIIIerence beLween
crImInuI und poIILIcuI ucLIon," Ie suId.
IuugIed, "So wIuL? 'm neILIer u crImInuI nor u poIILIcIun,
broLIer. So vou pIcked LIe wrong mun. BuL LIunks uguIn Ior LIe coIIee
und cIeese cuke-broLIer."
IeIL IIm sILLIng wILI u quIeL smIIe on IIs Iuce. WIen Iud
crossed LIe uvenue Iooked LIrougI LIe gIuss, seeIng IIm sLIII LIere,
und IL occurred Lo me LIuL Ie wus LIe sume mun wIo Iud IoIIowed me
over LIe rooI. He Iudn'L been cIusIng me uL uII buL onIv goIng In LIe
sume dIrecLIon. Iudn'L undersLood mucI oI wIuL Ie Iud suId, onIv
LIuL Ie Iud spoken wILI greuL conIIdence. Anvwuv, Iud been LIe
beLLer runner. PerIups IL wus u LrIck oI some kInd. He guve LIe
ImpressIon LIuL Ie undersLood mucI und spoke ouL oI u knowIedge Iur
deeper LIun uppeured on LIe surIuce oI IIs words. PerIups IL wus onIv
LIe knowIedge LIuL Ie Iud escuped bv LIe sume rouLe us . BuL wIuL
Iud Ie Lo Ieur? Iud mude LIe speecI, noL Ie. TIuL gIrI In LIe
upurLmenL Iud suId LIuL LIe Ionger remuIned unseen LIe Ionger 'd be
eIIecLIve, wIIcI dIdn'L muke mucI sense eILIer. BuL perIups LIuL wus
wIv Ie Iud run. He wunLed Lo remuIn unseen und eIIecLIve. EIIecLIve uL
wIuL? No doubL Ie wus IuugIIng uL me. musL Iuve Iooked sIIIv
IurLIIng ucross LIe rooIs, und IIke u bIuck-Iuce comedIun sIrInkIng
Irom u gIosL wIen LIe wIILe pIgeons sIoL up uround me. To IeII wILI
IIm. He needn'L be so smug, knew oI some LIIngs Ie dIdn'L know. eL
IIm IInd someone eIse. He onIv wunLed Lo use me Ior someLIIng.
Evervbodv wunLed Lo use vou Ior some purpose. WIv sIouId Ie wunL
me us u speuker? eL IIm muke IIs own speecIes. Ieuded Ior Iome,
IeeIIng u growIng suLIsIucLIon LIuL Iud dIsmIssed IIm so compIeLeIv.
L wus LurnIng durk now, und mucI coIder. CoIder LIun Iud ever
known. WIuL on eurLI wus IL, mused, bendIng mv Ieud Lo LIe wInd,
LIuL mude us Ieuve LIe wurm, mIId weuLIer oI Iome Ior uII LIIs coId,
und never Lo reLurn, II noL someLIIng worLI IopIng Ior, IreezIng Ior,
even beIng evIcLed Ior? IeIL sud. An oId womun pussed, benL down
wILI Lwo sIoppIng bugs, Ier eves upon LIe sIusIv wuIk, und LIougIL
oI LIe oId coupIe uL LIe evIcLIon. How Iud IL ended und wIere were LIev
now? WIuL un uwIuI emoLIon. WIuL Iud Ie cuIIed IL-u deuLI on LIe
cILv puvemenLs? How oILen dId sucI LIIngs occur? And wIuL wouId Ie
suv oI Murv? SIe wus Iur Irom deud, or oI beIng ground Lo bILs bv New
York. HeII, sIe knew verv weII Iow Lo IIve Iere, mucI beLLer LIun wILI
mv coIIege LruInIng-LruInIng! BIedsoIng, LIuL wus LIe Lerm. And wus
LIe one beIng ground up, noL Murv. TIInkIng oI Ier mude me IeeI
beLLer. couIdn'L ImugIne Murv beIng us IeIpIess us LIe oId womun uL
LIe evIcLIon, und bv LIe LIme reucIed LIe upurLmenL Iud begun Lo
Iose mv depressIon.
CIupLer 1q
TIe odor oI Murv's cubbuge cIunged mv mInd. SLundIng enguIIed
In LIe Iumes IIIIIng LIe IuII, IL sLruck me LIuL couIdn'L reuIIsLIcuIIv
rejecL LIe job. Cubbuge wus uIwuvs u depressIng remInder oI LIe Ieuner
veurs oI mv cIIIdIood und suIIered sIIenLIv wIenever sIe served IL,
buL LIIs wus LIe LIIrd LIme wILIIn LIe week und IL duwned on me LIuL
Murv musL be sIorL oI monev.
And Iere 've been congruLuIuLIng mvseII Ior reIusIng u job,
LIougIL, wIen don'L even know Iow mucI monev owe Ier. IeIL u
quIck sIckness grow wILIIn me. How couId Iuce Ier? wenL quIeLIv Lo
mv room und Iuv upon LIe bed, broodIng. TIere were oLIer roomers,
wIo Iud jobs, und knew sIe receIved IeIp Irom reIuLIves; sLIII LIere
wus no mIsLuke, Murv Ioved u vurIeLv oI Iood und LIIs concenLruLIon
upon cubbuge wus no uccIdenL. WIv Iudn'L noLIced? SIe'd been Loo
kInd, never dunnIng me, und Iuv LIere IeurIng Ier, "Don'L come
boLIerIng me wILI vour IILLIe LroubIes, bov. You'II gIL someLIIng bve
und bve"-wIen wouId Lrv Lo upoIogIze Ior noL puvIng mv renL und
bourd. PerIups unoLIer roomer Iud moved, or IosL IIs job. WIuL were
Murv's probIems unvwuv; wIo "urLIcuIuLed Ier grIevunces," us LIe
redIeuded mun Iud puL IL? SIe Iud kepL me goIng Ior monLIs, veL
Iud no Ideu. WIuL kInd oI mun wus becomIng? Iud Luken Ier so
mucI Ior grunLed LIuL Iudn'L even LIougIL oI mv debL wIen reIused
LIe job. Nor Iud consIdered LIe emburrussmenL mIgIL Iuve cuused
Ier sIouId LIe poIIce come Lo Ier Iome Lo urresL me Ior mukIng LIuL
wIId speecI. SuddenIv IeIL un urge Lo go Iook uL Ier, perIups Iud
reuIIv never seen Ier. Iud been ucLIng IIke u cIIId, noL u mun.
TukIng ouL LIe crumpIed puper, Iooked uL LIe LeIepIone number.
He Iud menLIoned un orgunIzuLIon. WIuL wus IL cuIIed? Iudn'L
InquIred. WIuL u IooI! AL IeusL sIouId Iuve Ieurned wIuL wus
LurnIng down, uILIougI dIsLrusLed LIe red-Ieuded mun. Hud reIused
ouL oI Ieur us weII us Irom resenLmenL? WIv dIdn'L Ie jusL LeII me wIuL
IL wus uII ubouL InsLeud oI LrvIng Lo Impress me wILI IIs knowIedge?
TIen Irom down LIe IuII couId Ieur Murv sIngIng, Ier voIce
cIeur und unLroubIed, LIougI sIe sung u LroubIed song. L wus LIe
"Buck WuLer BIues." Iuv IIsLenIng us LIe sound IIowed Lo und uround
me, brIngIng me u cuIm sense oI mv IndebLedness. WIen IL Iuded goL
up und puL on mv couL. PerIups IL wus noL Loo IuLe. wouId IInd u
LeIepIone und cuII IIm; LIen Ie couId LeII me exucLIv wIuL Ie wunLed
und couId muke u sensIbIe decIsIon.
Murv Ieurd me LIIs LIme. "Bov, wIen vou come Iome?" sIe suId,
sLIckIng Ier Ieud ouL oI LIe kILcIen. " dIdn'L even Ieur vou."
" cume In u sIorL wIIIe ugo," suId. "You were busv so dIdn'L
boLIer vou."
"TIen wIere vou goIng so soon, uIn'L vou goIng Lo euL supper?"
"Yes, Murv," suId, "buL 've goL Lo go ouL now. IorgoL Lo Luke
cure oI some busIness."
"SIucks! WIuL kInd oI busIness vou goL on u coId nIgIL IIke LIIs?"
sIe suId.
"OI, don'L know, mIgIL Iuve u surprIse Ior vou."
"Won'L noLIIng surprIse me," sIe suId. "And vou Iurrv on buck
Iere und gIL someLIIng IoL In vour sLomucI."
GoIng LIrougI LIe coId seekIng u LeIepIone booLI reuIIzed LIuL
Iud commILLed mvseII Lo brIng Ier some kInd oI surprIse, und us
wuIked becume mIIdIv enLIusIusLIc. L wus, uILer uII, u job LIuL
promIsed Lo exercIse mv LuIenL Ior pubIIc speukIng, und II LIe puv wus
unvLIIng uL uII IL wouId be more LIun Iud now. AL IeusL couId puv
Murv someLIIng oI wIuL owed Ier. And sIe mIgIL receIve some
suLIsIucLIon LIuL Ier predIcLIon Iud proved correcL.
seemed Lo be IuunLed bv cubbuge Iumes; LIe IILLIe IuncIeoneLLe
In wIIcI Iound LIe LeIepIone wus reekIng.
BroLIer Juck dIdn'L sound uL uII surprIsed upon receIvIng mv cuII.
"'d IIke some InIormuLIon ubouL -"
"GeL Iere us quIckIv us vou cun, we're IeuvIng sIorLIv," Ie suId,
gIvIng me u enox Avenue uddress und IungIng up beIore couId IInIsI
mv requesL.
wenL ouL InLo LIe coId, unnoved boLI bv IIs Iuck oI surprIse und
bv LIe sIorL, cIIpped munner In wIIcI Ie'd spoken, buL sLurLed ouL,
LukIng mv own LIme. L wusn'L Iur, und jusL us reucIed LIe corner oI
enox u cur puIIed up und suw severuI men InsIde, Juck umong LIem,
smIIIng.
"GeL In," Ie suId. "We cun LuIk wIere we're goIng. L's u purLv; vou
mIgIL IIke IL."
"BuL 'm noL dressed," suId. "'II cuII vou Lomorrow -"
"Dressed?" Ie cIuckIed. "You're uII rIgIL, geL In."
goL In besIde IIm und LIe drIver, noLIcIng LIuL LIere were LIree
men In LIe buck. TIen LIe cur moved oII.
No one spoke. BroLIer Juck seemed Lo sInk ImmedIuLeIv InLo deep
LIougIL. TIe oLIers Iooked ouL InLo LIe nIgIL. L wus us LIougI we were
mere cIunce pussengers In u subwuv cur. IeIL uneusv, wonderIng
wIere we were goIng, buL decIded Lo suv noLIIng. TIe cur sIoL swIILIv
over LIe sIusI.
ookIng ouL uL LIe pussIng nIgIL wondered wIuL kInd oI men
LIev were. CerLuInIv LIev dIdn'L ucL us LIougI LIev were IeudIng Ior u
verv socIubIe evenIng. wus Iungrv und wouIdn'L geL buck In LIme Ior
supper. WeII, muvbe IL wouId be worLI IL, boLI Lo Murv und Lo me. AL
IeusL wouIdn'L Iuve Lo euL LIuL cubbuge!
or u momenL LIe cur puused Ior LIe LruIIIc IIgIL, LIen we were
cIrcIIng swIILIv LIrougI Iong sLreLcIes oI snow-covered Iundscupe
IIgILed Iere und LIere bv sLreeL Iumps und LIe nervousIv sLubbIng
beums oI pussIng curs: We were IIusIIng LIrougI CenLruI Purk, now
compIeLeIv LrunsIormed bv LIe snow. L wus us LIougI we Iud pIunged
suddenIv InLo mId-counLrv peuce, veL knew LIuL Iere, somewIere
cIose bv In LIe nIgIL, LIere wus u zoo wILI ILs dungerous unImuIs. TIe
IIons und LIgers In IeuLed cuges, LIe beurs usIeep, LIe snukes coIIed
LIgILIv underground. And LIere wus uIso LIe reservoIr oI durk wuLer, uII
covered bv snow und bv nIgIL, bv snow-IuII und bv nIgIL-IuII, burIed
beneuLI bIuck und wIILe, gruv mIsL und gruv sIIence. TIen pusL LIe
drIver's Ieud couId see u wuII oI buIIdIngs IoomIng bevond LIe
wIndsIIeId. TIe cur nosed sIowIv InLo LruIIIc, dropped swIILIv down u
IIII.
We sLopped beIore un expensIve-IookIng buIIdIng In u sLrunge purL
oI LIe cILv. couId see LIe word CILIonIun on LIe sLorm uwnIng
sLreLcIed ubove LIe wuIk us goL ouL wILI LIe oLIers und wenL swIILIv
Lowurd u Iobbv IIgILed bv dIm buIbs seL beIInd IrosLed gIuss, goIng pusL
LIe unIIormed doormun wILI un uncunnv sense oI IumIIIurILv; IeeIIng
now, us we enLered u soundprooI eIevuLor und sIoL uwuv uL u mIIe u
mInuLe, LIuL Iud been LIrougI IL uII beIore. TIen we were sLoppIng
wILI u genLIe bounce und wus uncerLuIn wIeLIer we Iud gone up or
down. BroLIer Juck guIded me down LIe IuII Lo u door on wIIcI suw u
bronze door-knocker In LIe sIupe oI u Iurge-eved owI. Now Ie IesILuLed
u momenL, IIs Ieud LIrusL Iorwurd us LIougI IIsLenIng, LIen IIs Iund
covered LIe owI Irom vIew, producIng InsLeud oI LIe knock wIIcI
expecLed, un Icv peuI oI cIeur cIImes. SIorLIv LIe door swung purLIv
open, reveuIIng u smurLIv dressed womun, wIose Iurd, Iundsome Iuce
broke InLo smIIes.
"Come In, BroLIers," sIe suId, Ier exoLIc perIume IIIIIng LIe Iover.
noLIced u cIIp oI bIuzIng dIumonds on Ier dress us LrIed Lo
sLund usIde Ior LIe oLIers, buL BroLIer Juck pusIed me uIeud.
"Excuse me," suId, buL sIe IeId Ier ground, und wus pressIng
LenseIv uguInsL Ier perIumed soILness, seeIng Ier smIIe us LIougI LIere
were onIv sIe und . TIen wus pusL, dIsLurbed noL so mucI bv LIe
cIose conLucL, us bv LIe sense LIuL Iud someIow been LIrougI IL uII
beIore. couIdn'L decIde II IL were Irom wuLcIIng some sImIIur scene In
LIe movIes, Irom books 'd reud, or Irom some recurrenL buL deepIv
burIed dreum. WIuLsoever, IL wus IIke enLerIng u scene wIIcI, becuuse
oI some devIous cIrcumsLunce, Iud IILIerLo wuLcIed onIv Irom u
dIsLunce. How couId LIev Iuve sucI un expensIve pIuce, wondered.
"PuL vour LIIngs In LIe sLudv," LIe womun suId. "'II go see ubouL
drInks."
We enLered u room IIned wILI books und decoruLed wILI oId
musIcuI InsLrumenLs: An rIsI Iurp, u IunLer's Iorn, u cIurIneL und u
wooden IIuLe were suspended bv LIe neck Irom LIe wuII on pInk und
bIue rIbbons. TIere were u IeuLIer dIvun und u number oI eusv cIuIrs.
"TIrow vour couL on LIe dIvun," BroLIer Juck suId.
sIId ouL oI mv overcouL und Iooked uround. TIe dIuI oI LIe rudIo
buIIL InLo u secLIon oI LIe nuLuruI muIogunv booksIeII wus IIgILed, buL
couIdn'L Ieur unv sound; und LIere wus un umpIe desk on wIIcI
resLed sIIver und crvsLuI wrILIng LIIngs, und, us one oI LIe men cume Lo
sLund guzIng uL LIe bookcuse, wus sLruck bv LIe conLrusL beLween LIe
rIcIness oI LIe room und LIeIr ruLIer poor cIoLIIng.
"Now we'II go InLo LIe oLIer room," BroLIer Juck suId, LukIng me
bv LIe urm.
We enLered u Iurge room In wIIcI one enLIre wuII wus Iung wILI
LuIIun-red druperIes LIuL IeII In rIcI IoIds Irom LIe ceIIIng. A number
oI weII-dressed men und women were guLIered In groups, some besIde
u grund pIuno, LIe oLIers IoungIng In LIe puIe beIge upIoIsLerv oI LIe
bIond wood cIuIrs. Here und LIere suw severuI uLLrucLIve voung
women buL cureIuIIv uvoIded gIvIng LIem more LIun u gIunce. IeIL
exLremeIv uncomIorLubIe, uILIougI uILer brIeI gIunces no one puId me
unv specIuI uLLenLIon. L wus us LIougI LIev Iudn'L seen me, us LIougI
were Iere, und veL noL Iere. TIe oLIers were movIng uwuv Lo joIn LIe
vurIous groups now, und BroLIer Juck Look mv urm.
"Come, IeL's geL u drInk," Ie suId, guIdIng me Lowurd LIe end oI
LIe room.
TIe womun wIo'd IeL us In wus mIxIng drInks beIInd u Iundsome
Iree-Iorm bur wIIcI wus Iurge enougI Lo Iuve gruced u nIgIL cIub.
"How ubouL u drInk Ior us, Emmu?" BroLIer Juck suId.
"WeII, now, 'II Iuve Lo LIInk ubouL IL," sIe suId, LIILIng Ier
severeIv druwn Ieud und smIIIng.
"Don'L LIInk, ucL," Ie suId. "We're verv LIIrsLv men. TIIs voung
mun pusIed IIsLorv uIeud LwenLv veurs Loduv."
"OI," sIe suId, Ier eves becomIng InLenL. "You musL LeII me ubouL
IIm."
"JusL reud LIe mornIng pupers, Emmu. TIIngs Iuve begun Lo
move. Yes, Ieup uIeud." He IuugIed deepIv.
"WIuL wouId vou IIke, BroLIer?" sIe suId, Ier eves brusIIng
sIowIv over mv Iuce.
"Bourbon," suId, u IILLIe Loo IoudIv, us remembered LIe besL LIe
SouLI Iud Lo oIIer. Mv Iuce wus wurm, buL reLurned Ier gIunce us
sLeudIIv us dured. L wus noL LIe IursI unInLeresLed-In-vou-us-u-
Iumun-beIng sLure LIuL 'd known In LIe SouLI, LIe kInd LIuL swepL
over u bIuck mun us LIougI Ie were u Iorse or un InsecL; IL wus
someLIIng more, u dIrecL, wIuL-Lvpe-oI-mere-mun-Iuve-we-Iere kInd
oI Iook LIuL seemed Lo go beneuLI mv skIn . . . SomewIere In mv Ieg u
muscIe LwILcIed vIoIenLIv.
"Emmu, LIe bourbon! Two bourbons," BroLIer Juck suId.
"You know," sIe suId, pIckIng up u decunLer, "'m InLrIgued."
"NuLuruIIv. AIwuvs," Ie suId. "nLrIgued und InLrIguIng. BuL we're
dvIng oI LIIrsL."
"OnIv oI ImpuLIence," sIe suId, pourIng LIe drInks. " meun vou
ure. TeII me, wIere dId vou IInd LIIs voung Iero oI LIe peopIe?"
" dIdn'L," BroLIer Juck suId. "He sImpIv urose ouL oI u crowd. TIe
peopIe uIwuvs LIrow up LIeIr Ieuders, vou know . . ."
"TIrow LIem up," sIe suId. "Nonsense, LIev cIew LIem up und
spIL LIem ouL. TIeIr Ieuders ure mude, noL born. TIen LIev're
desLroved. You've uIwuvs suId LIuL. Here vou ure, BroLIer."
He Iooked uL Ier sLeudIIv. Look LIe Ieuvv crvsLuI gIuss und ruIsed
IL Lo mv IIps, gIud Ior un excuse Lo Lurn Irom Ier eves. A Iuze oI
cIgureLLe smoke drIILed LIrougI LIe room. Ieurd u serIes oI rIcI
urpeggIos sound on LIe pIuno beIInd me und Lurned Lo Iook, IeurIng
LIe womun Emmu suv noL quILe soILIv enougI, "BuL don'L vou LIInk Ie
sIouId be u IILLIe bIucker?"
"SIII, don'L be u dumn IooI," BroLIer Juck suId sIurpIv. "We're
noL InLeresLed In IIs Iooks buL In IIs voIce. And suggesL, Emmu, LIuL
vou muke IL vour InLeresL Loo . . ."
SuddenIv IoL und breuLIIess, suw u wIndow ucross LIe room und
wenL over und sLood IookIng ouL. We were up verv IIgI; sLreeL Iumps
und LruIIIc cuL puLLerns In LIe nIgIL beIow. So sIe doesn'L LIInk 'm
bIuck enougI. WIuL does sIe wunL, u bIuck-Iuce comedIun? WIo Is sIe,
unvwuv, BroLIer Juck's wIIe, IIs gIrI IrIend? Muvbe sIe wunLs Lo see me
sweuL couI Lur, Ink, sIoe poIIsI, grupIILe. WIuL wus , u mun or u
nuLuruI resource?
TIe wIndow wus so IIgI LIuL couId bureIv Ieur LIe sound oI
LruIIIc beIow . . . TIIs wus u bud begInnIng, buL IeII, wus beIng IIred
bv BroLIer Juck, II Ie sLIII wunLed me, noL LIIs Emmu womun. 'd IIke
Lo sIow Ier Iow reuIIv bIuck um, LIougIL, LukIng u bIg drInk oI LIe
bourbon. L wus smooLI, coId. 'd Iuve Lo be cureIuI wILI LIe sLuII.
AnvLIIng mIgIL Iuppen II Iud Loo mucI. WILI LIese peopIe 'II Iuve
Lo be cureIuI. AIwuvs cureIuI. WILI uII peopIe 'II Iuve Lo be cureIuI . . .
"L's u pIeusunL vIew, Isn'L IL?" u voIce suId, und wIIrIed Lo see u
LuII durk mun. "BuL now wouId vou mInd joInIng us In LIe IIbrurv?" Ie
suId.
BroLIer Juck, LIe men wIo Iud come uIong In LIe cur, und Lwo
oLIers wIom Iudn'L seen beIore were wuILIng.
"Come In, BroLIer," Juck suId. "BusIness beIore pIeusure Is uIwuvs
u good ruIe, wIoever vou ure. Some duv LIe ruIe sIuII be busIness wILI
pIeusure, Ior LIe jov oI Iubor sIuII Iuve been resLored. SIL down."
Look LIe cIuIr dIrecLIv beIore IIm, wonderIng wIuL LIIs speecI
wus uII ubouL.
"You know, BroLIer," Ie suId, "we don'L ordInurIIv InLerrupL our
socIuI guLIerIngs wILI busIness, buL wILI vou IL's necessurv."
"'m verv sorrv," suId. " sIouId Iuve cuIIed vou eurIIer."
"Sorrv? WIv, we're onIv Loo gIud Lo do so. We've been wuILIng Ior
vou Ior monLIs. Or Ior someone wIo couId do wIuL vou've done."
"BuL wIuL . . . ?" suId.
"WIuL ure we doIng? WIuL Is our mIssIon? L's sImpIe; we ure
workIng Ior u beLLer worId Ior uII peopIe. L's LIuL sImpIe. Too munv
Iuve been dIspossessed oI LIeIr IerILuge, und we Iuve bunded LogeLIer
In broLIerIood so us Lo do someLIIng ubouL IL. WIuL do vou LIInk oI
LIuL?"
"WIv, LIInk IL's IIne," suId, LrvIng Lo Luke In LIe IuII meunIng oI
IIs words. " LIInk IL's exceIIenL. BuL Iow?"
"Bv movIng LIem Lo ucLIon jusL us vou dId LIIs mornIng. . .
BroLIers, wus LIere," Ie suId Lo LIe oLIers, "und Ie wus mugnIIIcenL.
WILI u Iew words Ie seL oII un eIIecLIve demonsLruLIon uguInsL
evIcLIons!"
" wus presenL Loo," unoLIer suId. "L wus umuzIng."
"TeII us someLIIng oI vour buckground," BroLIer Juck suId, IIs
voIce und munner demundIng LruLIIuI unswers. And expIuIned brIeIIv
LIuL Iud come up IookIng Ior work Lo puv mv wuv LIrougI coIIege und
Iud IuIIed.
"Do vou sLIII pIun Lo reLurn?"
"NoL now," suId. "'m uII done wILI LIuL."
"L's jusL us weII," BroLIer Juck suId. "You Iuve IILLIe Lo Ieurn down
LIere. However, coIIege LruInIng Is noL u bud LIIng-uILIougI vou'II
Iuve Lo IorgeL mosL oI IL. DId vou sLudv economIcs?"
"Some."
"SocIoIogv?"
"Yes."
"WeII, IeL me udvIse vou Lo IorgeL IL. You'II be gIven books Lo reud
uIong wILI some muLerIuI LIuL expIuIns our progrum In deLuII. BuL we're
movIng Loo IusL. PerIups vou uren'L InLeresLed In workIng Ior LIe
BroLIerIood."
"BuL vou Iuven'L LoId me wIuL 'm supposed Lo do," suId.
He Iooked uL me IIxedIv, pIckIng up IIs gIuss sIowIv und LukIng u
Iong swuIIow.
"eL's puL IL LIIs wuv," Ie suId. "How wouId vou IIke Lo be LIe new
Booker T. WusIIngLon?"
"WIuL!" Iooked InLo IIs bIund eves Ior IuugILer, seeIng IIs red
Ieud Lurned sIIgILIv Lo LIe sIde. "PIeuse, now," suId.
"OI, ves, 'm serIous."
"TIen don'L undersLund vou." Wus drunk? Iooked uL IIm; Ie
seemed sober.
"WIuL do vou LIInk oI LIe Ideu? Or beLLer sLIII, wIuL do vou LIInk
oI Booker T. WusIIngLon?"
"WIv, nuLuruIIv, LIInk Ie wus un ImporLunL IIgure. AL IeusL mosL
peopIe suv so."
"BuL?"
"WeII," wus uL u Ioss Ior words. He wus goIng Loo IusL uguIn. TIe
wIoIe Ideu wus Insune und veL LIe oLIers were IookIng uL me cuImIv;
one oI LIem wus IIgILIng up un undersIung pIpe. TIe muLcI spuLLered,
cuugIL IIre.
"WIuL Is IL?" BroLIer Juck InsIsLed.
"WeII, guess don'L LIInk Ie wus us greuL us LIe ounder."
"OI? And wIv noL?"
"WeII, In LIe IIrsL pIuce, LIe ounder cume beIore IIm und dId
prucLIcuIIv evervLIIng Booker T. WusIIngLon dId und u IoL more. And
more peopIe beIIeved In IIm. You Ieur u IoL oI urgumenLs ubouL Booker
T. WusIIngLon, buL Iew wouId urgue ubouL LIe ounder . . ."
"No, buL perIups LIuL Is becuuse LIe ounder IIes ouLsIde IIsLorv,
wIIIe WusIIngLon Is sLIII u IIvIng Iorce. However, LIe new WusIIngLon
sIuII work Ior LIe poor . . ."
Iooked InLo mv crvsLuI gIuss oI bourbon. L wus unbeIIevubIe, veL
sLrungeIv excILIng und Iud LIe sense oI beIng presenL uL LIe creuLIon
oI ImporLunL evenLs, us LIougI u curLuIn Iud been purLed und wus
beIng uIIowed Lo gIImpse Iow LIe counLrv operuLed. And veL none oI
LIese men wus weII known, or uL IeusL 'd never seen LIeIr Iuces In LIe
newspupers.
"DurIng LIese LImes oI IndecIsIon wIen uII LIe oId unswers ure
proven IuIse, LIe peopIe Iook buck Lo LIe deud Lo gIve LIem u cIue," Ie
wenL on. "TIev cuII IIrsL upon one und LIen upon unoLIer oI LIose wIo
Iuve ucLed In LIe pusL."
"I vou pIeuse, BroLIer," LIe mun wILI LIe pIpe InLerrupLed, "
LIInk vou sIouId speuk more concreLeIv."
"PIeuse don'L InLerrupL," BroLIer Juck suId IcIIv.
" wIsI onIv Lo poInL ouL LIuL u scIenLIIIc LermInoIogv exIsLs," LIe
mun suId, empIusIzIng IIs words wILI IIs pIpe. "AILer uII, we cuII
ourseIves scIenLIsLs Iere. eL us speuk us scIenLIsLs."
"n due LIme," BroLIer Juck suId. "n due LIme . . . You see,
BroLIer," Ie suId, LurnIng Lo me, "LIe LroubIe Is LIuL LIere Is IILLIe LIe
deud cun do; oLIerwIse LIev wouIdn'L be LIe deud. No! BuL on LIe oLIer
Iund, IL wouId be u greuL mIsLuke Lo ussume LIuL LIe deud ure
ubsoIuLeIv powerIess. TIev ure powerIess onIv Lo gIve LIe IuII unswer Lo
LIe new quesLIons posed Ior LIe IIvIng bv IIsLorv. BuL LIev Lrv!
WIenever LIev Ieur LIe ImperIous crIes oI LIe peopIe In u crIsIs, LIe
deud respond. RIgIL now In LIIs counLrv, wILI ILs munv nuLIonuI
groups, uII LIe oId Ieroes ure beIng cuIIed buck Lo IIIe-JeIIerson,
Juckson, PuIuskI, GurIbuIdI, Booker T. WusIIngLon, Sun YuL-sen,
Dunnv O'ConneII, AbruIum IncoIn und counLIess oLIers ure beIng
usked Lo sLep once uguIn upon LIe sLuge oI IIsLorv. cun'L suv Loo
empIuLIcuIIv LIuL we sLund uL u LermInuI poInL In IIsLorv, uL u momenL
oI supreme worId crIsIs. DesLrucLIon IIes uIeud unIess LIIngs ure
cIunged. And LIIngs musL be cIunged. And cIunged bv LIe peopIe.
Becuuse, BroLIer, LIe enemIes oI mun ure dIspossessIng LIe worId! Do
vou undersLund?"
"'m begInnIng Lo," suId, greuLIv Impressed.
"TIere ure oLIer Lerms, oLIer more uccuruLe wuvs oI suvIng uII
LIIs, buL we Iuven'L LIme Ior LIuL rIgIL now. We speuk now In Lerms
LIuL ure eusv Lo undersLund. As vou spoke Lo LIe crowd LIIs mornIng."
" see," suId, IeeIIng uncomIorLubIe under IIs sLure.
"So IL Isn'L u muLLer oI wIeLIer vou wIsI Lo be LIe new Booker T.
WusIIngLon, mv IrIend. Booker WusIIngLon wus resurrecLed Loduv uL u
cerLuIn evIcLIon In HurIem. He cume ouL Irom LIe unonvmILv oI LIe
crowd und spoke Lo LIe peopIe. So vou see, don'L joke wILI vou. Or
pIuv wILI words eILIer. TIere Is u scIenLIIIc expIunuLIon Ior LIIs
pIenomenon-us our Ieurned broLIer Ius grucIousIv remInded me-
vou'II Ieurn IL In LIme, buL wIuLever vou cuII IL LIe reuIILv oI LIe worId
crIsIs Is u IucL. We ure uII reuIIsLs Iere, und muLerIuIIsLs. L Is u quesLIon
oI wIo sIuII deLermIne LIe dIrecLIon oI evenLs. TIuL Is wIv we've
brougIL vou InLo LIIs room. TIIs mornIng vou unswered LIe peopIe's
uppeuI und we wunL vou Lo be LIe Lrue InLerpreLer oI LIe peopIe. You
sIuII be LIe new Booker T. WusIIngLon, buL even greuLer LIun Ie."
TIere wus sIIence. couId Ieur LIe weL cruckIng oI LIe pIpe.
"PerIups we sIouId uIIow LIe BroLIer Lo express IImseII us Lo Iow
Ie IeeIs ubouL uII LIIs," LIe mun wILI LIe pIpe suId.
"WeII, BroLIer?" BroLIer Juck suId.
Iooked InLo LIeIr wuILIng Iuces.
"L's uII so new Lo me LIuL don'L know exucLIv wIuL do LIInk,"
suId. "Do vou reuIIv LIInk vou Iuve LIe rIgIL mun?"
"You musLn'L IeL LIuL worrv vou," BroLIer Juck suId. "You wIII rIse
Lo LIe Lusk; IL Is onIv necessurv LIuL vou work Iurd und IoIIow
InsLrucLIons."
TIev sLood up now. Iooked uL LIem, IIgILIng u sense oI unreuIILv.
TIev sLured uL me us LIe IeIIows Iud done wIen wus beIng InILIuLed
InLo mv coIIege IruLernILv. OnIv LIIs wus reuI und now wus LIe LIme Ior
me Lo decIde or Lo suv LIougIL LIev were cruzv und go buck Lo Murv's.
BuL wIuL Is LIere Lo Iose? LIougIL. AL IeusL LIev've InvILed me, one oI
us, In uL LIe begInnIng oI someLIIng bIg; und besIdes, II reIused Lo
joIn LIem, wIere wouId goLo u job us porLer uL LIe ruIIroud sLuLIon? AL
IeusL Iere wus u cIunce Lo speuk.
"WIen sIuII sLurL?" suId.
"Tomorrow, we musL wusLe no LIme. Bv LIe wuv, wIere ure vou
IIvIng?"
" renL u room Irom u womun In HurIem," suId.
"A IousewIIe?"
"SIe's u wIdow," suId. "SIe renLs rooms."
"WIuL Is Ier educuLIonuI buckground?"
"SIe's Iud verv IILLIe."
"More or Iess IIke LIe oId coupIe LIuL wus evIcLed?"
"SomewIuL, buL beLLer ubIe Lo Luke cure oI IerseII. SIe's LougI,"
suId wILI u IuugI.
"Does sIe usk u IoL oI quesLIons? Are vou IrIendIv wILI Ier?"
"SIe's been verv nIce Lo me," suId. "SIe uIIowed me Lo sLuv on
uILer wus unubIe Lo puv mv renL."
He sIook IIs Ieud. "No."
"WIuL Is IL?" suId.
"L Is besL LIuL vou move," Ie suId. "We'II IInd vou u pIuce IurLIer
downLown so LIuL vou'II be wILIIn eusv cuII . . ."
"BuL Iuve no monev, und sIe's enLIreIv LrusLworLIv."
"TIuL wIII be Luken cure oI," Ie suId, wuvIng IIs Iund. "You musL
reuIIze ImmedIuLeIv LIuL mucI oI our work Is opposed. Our dIscIpIIne
demunds LIereIore LIuL we LuIk Lo no one und LIuL we uvoId sILuuLIons
In wIIcI InIormuLIon mIgIL be gIven uwuv unwILLIngIv. So vou musL
puL usIde vour pusL. Do vou Iuve u IumIIv?"
"Yes."
"Are vou In LoucI wILI LIem?"
"OI course. wrILe Iome now und LIen," suId, begInnIng Lo
resenL IIs meLIod oI quesLIonIng. HIs voIce Iud become coId,
seurcIIng.
"TIen IL's besL LIuL vou ceuse Ior u wIIIe," Ie suId. "Anvwuv, vou'II
be Loo busv. Here." He IIsIed InLo IIs vesL pockeL Ior someLIIng und
goL suddenIv Lo IIs IeeL.
"WIuL Is IL?" someone usked.
"NoLIIng, excuse me," Ie suId, roIIIng Lo LIe door und beckonIng.
n u momenL suw LIe womun uppeur.
"Emmu, LIe sIIp oI puper guve vou. GIve IL Lo LIe new BroLIer,"
Ie suId us sIe sLepped InsIde und cIosed LIe door.
"OI, so IL's vou," sIe suId wILI u meunIngIuI smIIe.
wuLcIed Ier reucI InLo LIe bosom oI Ier LuIIeLu IosLess gown
und remove u wIILe enveIope.
"TIIs Is vour new IdenLILv," BroLIer Juck suId. "Open IL."
nsIde Iound u nume wrILLen on u sIIp oI puper.
"TIuL Is vour new nume," BroLIer Juck suId. "SLurL LIInkIng oI
vourseII bv LIuL nume Irom LIIs momenL. GeL IL down so LIuL even II
vou ure cuIIed In LIe mIddIe oI LIe nIgIL vou wIII respond. Verv soon
vou sIuII be known bv IL uII over LIe counLrv. You ure Lo unswer Lo no
oLIer, undersLund?"
"'II Lrv," suId.
"Don'L IorgeL IIs IIvIng quurLers," LIe LuII mun suId.
"No," BroLIer Juck suId wILI u Irown. "Emmu, pIeuse, some
Iunds."
"How mucI, Juck?" sIe suId.
He Lurned Lo me. "Do vou owe mucI renL?"
"Too mucI," suId.
"Muke IL LIree Iundred, Emmu," Ie suId.
"Never mInd," Ie suId us sIowed mv surprIse uL LIe sum. "TIIs
wIII puv vour debLs und buv vou cIoLIIng. CuII me In LIe mornIng und
'II Iuve seIecLed vour IIvIng quurLers. or u sLurL vour suIurv wIII be
sIxLv doIIurs u week."
SIxLv u week! TIere wus noLIIng couId suv. TIe womun Iud
crossed LIe room Lo LIe desk und reLurned wILI LIe monev, pIucIng IL In
mv Iund.
"You'd beLLer puL IL uwuv," sIe suId expunsIveIv.
"WeII, BroLIers, beIIeve LIuL's uII," Ie suId. "Emmu, Iow ubouL u
drInk?"
"OI course, oI course," sIe suId, goIng Lo u cubIneL und removIng u
decunLer und u seL oI gIusses In wIIcI sIe poured ubouL un IncI oI cIeur
IIquId.
"Here vou ure, BroLIers," sIe suId.
TukIng IIs, BroLIer Juck ruIsed IL Lo IIs nose, InIuIIng deepIv. "To
LIe BroLIerIood oI Mun . . . Lo HIsLorv und Lo CIunge," Ie suId,
LoucIIng mv gIuss.
"To HIsLorv," we uII suId.
TIe sLuII burned, cuusIng me Lo Iower mv Ieud Lo IIde LIe Leurs
LIuL popped Irom mv eves.
"AuuuI!" someone suId wILI deep suLIsIucLIon.
"Come uIong," Emmu suId. "eL's joIn LIe oLIers."
"Now Ior some pIeusure," BroLIer Juck suId. "And remember vour
new IdenLILv."
wunLed Lo LIInk buL LIev guve me no LIme. wus swepL InLo LIe
Iurge room und InLroduced bv mv new nume. Evervone smIIed und
seemed euger Lo meeL me, us LIougI LIev uII knew LIe roIe wus Lo
pIuv. AII grusped me wurmIv bv LIe Iund.
"WIuL Is vour opInIon oI LIe sLuLe oI women's rIgILs, BroLIer?"
wus usked bv u pIuIn womun In u Iurge bIuck veIveL Lurn. BuL beIore
couId open mv mouLI, BroLIer Juck Iud pusIed me uIong Lo u group oI
men, one oI wIom seemed Lo know uII ubouL LIe evIcLIon. Neurbv, u
group uround LIe pIuno were sIngIng IoIk songs wILI more voIume LIun
meIodv. We moved Irom group Lo group, BroLIer Juck verv
uuLIorILuLIve, LIe oLIers uIwuvs respecLIuI. He musL be u powerIuI mun,
LIougIL, noL u cIown uL uII. BuL Lo IeII wILI LIIs Booker T. WusIIngLon
busIness. wouId do LIe work buL wouId be no one excepL mvseII-
wIoever wus, wouId puLLern mv IIIe on LIuL oI LIe ounder. TIev
mIgIL LIInk wus ucLIng IIke Booker T. WusIIngLon; IeL LIem. BuL wIuL
LIougIL oI mvseII wouId keep Lo mvseII. Yes, und 'd Iuve Lo IIde LIe
IucL LIuL Iud ucLuuIIv been uIruId wIen mude mv speecI. SuddenIv
IeIL IuugILer bubbIIng InsIde me. 'd Iuve Lo cuLcI up wILI LIIs scIence
oI IIsLorv busIness.
We Iud come Lo sLund neur LIe pIuno now, wIere un InLense
voung mun quesLIoned me ubouL vurIous Ieuders oI LIe HurIem
communILv. knew LIem onIv bv nume, buL preLended LIuL knew
LIem uII.
"Good," Ie suId, "good, we Iuve Lo work wILI uII LIese Iorces
durIng LIe comIng perIod."
"Yes, vou're quILe rIgIL," suId, gIvIng mv gIuss u LInkIIng LwIrI. A
sIorL broud mun suw me und wuved LIe oLIers Lo u IuIL. "Suv, BroLIer,"
Ie cuIIed. "HoId LIe musIc, bovs, IoId IL!"
"Yes, uI . . . BroLIer," suId.
"You're jusL wIo we need. We been IookIng Ior vou."
"OI," suId.
"How ubouL u spIrILuuI, BroLIer? Or one oI LIose reuI good oIe
Negro work songs? Ike LIIs: AI wenL Lo ALIunLu-nevuI been LIere
beIo'," Ie sung, IIs urms IeId ouL Irom IIs bodv IIke u penguIn's wIngs,
gIuss In one Iund, cIgur In LIe oLIer. "WIILe mun sIeep In u IeuLIer bed,
NIgguI sIeep on LIe IIo' . . . Hu! Hu! How ubouL IL, BroLIer?"
"TIe BroLIer does noL sIng!" BroLIer Juck roured sLuccuLo.
"Nonsense, uII coIored peopIe sIng."
"TIIs Is un ouLrugeous exumpIe oI unconscIous rucIuI
cIuuvInIsm!" Juck suId.
"Nonsense, IIke LIeIr sIngIng," LIe broud mun suId doggedIv.
"TIe BroLIer does noL sIng!" BroLIer Juck crIed, IIs Iuce LurnIng u
deep purpIe.
TIe broud mun regurded IIm sLubbornIv. "WIv don'L vou IeL IIm
suv wIeLIer Ie cun sIng or noL . . . ? Come on, BroLIer, gIL IoL! Go
Down, Moses," Ie beIIowed In u rugged burILone, puLLIng down IIs
cIgur und snuppIng IIs IIngers. "Wuv down In EgvpL's Iund. TeII duL oIe
PIuruoI Lo IeL mu coIored IoIks sIng! 'm Ior LIe rIgILs oI LIe coIored
broLIer Lo sIng!" Ie sIouLed beIIIgerenLIv.
BroLIer Juck Iooked us II Ie wouId cIoke; Ie ruIsed IIs Iund,
sIgnuIIng. suw Lwo men sIooL Irom ucross LIe room und Ieud LIe sIorL
mun rougIIv uwuv. BroLIer Juck IoIIowed LIem us LIev dIsuppeured
bevond LIe door, IeuvIng un enormous sIIence.
or u momenL sLood LIere, mv eves rIveLed upon LIe door, LIen
Lurned, LIe gIuss IoL In mv Iund, mv Iuce IeeIIng us LIougI IL wouId
expIode. WIv wus evervone sLurIng uL me us LIougI were responsIbIe?
WIv LIe IeII were LIev sLurIng uL me? SuddenIv veIIed, "WIuL's LIe
muLLer wILI vou? Huven'L vou ever seen u drunk -" wIen somewIere
oII LIe Iover LIe broud mun's voIce sLuggered drunkenIv Lo us, "SL.
ouIs mummIeeeee-wILI Ier dIumond rIIIIngs . . ." und wus cIIpped oII
bv u sIummIng door, IeuvIng u roomIuI oI bewIIdered Iuces. And
suddenIv wus IuugIIng IvsLerIcuIIv.
"He IIL me In LIe Iuce," wIeezed. "He IIL me In LIe Iuce wILI u
vurd oI cIILLerIIngs!"-bendIng doubIe, rourIng, LIe wIoIe room
seemIng Lo dunce up und down wILI eucI rupId erupLIon oI IuugILer.
"He LIrew u Iog muw," crIed, buL no one seemed Lo undersLund.
Mv eves IIIIed, couId bureIv see. "He's IIgI us u GeorgIu pIne,"
IuugIed, LurnIng Lo LIe group neuresL me. "He's ubso-IuLeIv drunk . . .
oII musIc!"
"Yes. Sure," u mun suId nervousIv. "Hu, Iu . . ."
"TIree sIeeLs In LIe wInd," IuugIed, geLLIng mv breuLI now, und
dIscoverIng LIuL LIe sIIenL LensIon oI LIe oLIers wus ebbIng InLo u rIppIe
oI IuugILer LIuL sounded LIrougIouL LIe room, growIng swIILIv Lo u
rour, u IuugI oI uII dImensIons, InLensILIes und InLonuLIons. Evervone
wus joInIng In. TIe room IuIrIv bounced.
"And dId vou see BroLIer Juck's Iuce," u mun sIouLed, sIukIng IIs
Ieud.
"L wus murder!"
"Go down Moses!"
" LeII vou IL wus murder!"
Across LIe room LIev were poundIng someone on LIe buck Lo keep
IIm Irom cIokIng. HundkercIIeIs uppeured, LIere wus mucI IonkIng
oI noses, wIpIng oI eves. A gIuss crusIed Lo LIe IIoor, u cIuIr wus
overLurned. IougIL uguInsL LIe puInIuI IuugILer, und us cuImed suw
LIem IookIng uL me wILI u sorL oI emburrussed gruLILude. L wus
soberIng und veL LIev seemed benL upon preLendIng LIuL noLIIng
unusuuI Iud Iuppened. TIev smIIed. SeveruI seemed ubouL Lo come
over und pound mv buck, sIuke mv Iund. L wus us LIougI Iud LoId
LIem someLIIng wIIcI LIev'd wIsIed verv mucI Lo Ieur, Iud rendered
LIem un ImporLunL servIce wIIcI couIdn'L undersLund. BuL LIere IL
wus, workIng In LIeIr Iuces. Mv sLomucI ucIed. wunLed Lo Ieuve, Lo geL
LIeIr eves oII me. TIen u LIIn IILLIe womun cume over und grusped mv
Iund.
"'m so sorrv LIuL LIIs Iud Lo Iuppen," sIe suId In u sIow Yunkee
voIce, "reuIIv und LruIv sorrv. Some oI our BroLIers uren'L so IIgIIv
deveIoped, vou know. AILIougI LIev meun verv weII. You musL uIIow
me Lo upoIogIze Ior IIm . . ."
"OI, Ie wus onIv LIpsv," suId, IookIng InLo Ier LIIn, New EngIund
Iuce.
"Yes, know, und reveuIIngIv so. wouId never usk our coIored
broLIers Lo sIng, even LIougI Iove Lo Ieur LIem. Becuuse know LIuL
IL wouId be u verv buckwurd LIIng. You ure Iere Lo IIgIL uIong wILI us,
noL Lo enLerLuIn. LIInk vou undersLund me, don'L vou, BroLIer?"
guve Ier u sIIenL smIIe.
"OI course vou do. musL go now, good-bve," sIe suId, exLendIng
Ier IILLIe wIILe-gIoved Iund und IeuvIng.
wus puzzIed. JusL wIuL dId sIe meun? Wus IL LIuL sIe
undersLood LIuL we resenLed IuvIng oLIers LIInk LIuL we were uII
enLerLuIners und nuLuruI sIngers? BuL now uILer LIe muLuuI IuugILer
someLIIng dIsLurbed me: SIouIdn'L LIere be some wuv Ior us Lo be
usked Lo sIng? SIouIdn'L LIe sIorL mun Iuve LIe rIgIL Lo muke u
mIsLuke wILIouL IIs moLIves beIng consIdered conscIousIv or
unconscIousIv muIIcIous? AILer uII, Ie wus sIngIng, or LrvIng Lo. WIuL II
usked IIm Lo sIng? wuLcIed LIe IILLIe womun, dressed In bIuck IIke u
mIssIonurv, wIndIng Ier wuv LIrougI LIe crowd. WIuL on eurLI wus
sIe doIng Iere? WIuL purL dId sIe pIuv? WeII, wIuLever sIe meunL,
sIe's nIce und IIke Ier.
JusL LIen Emmu cume up und cIuIIenged me Lo dunce und Ied
Ier Lowurd LIe IIoor us LIe pIuno pIuved, LIInkIng oI LIe veL's
predIcLIon und druwIng Ier Lo me us LIougI dunced wILI sucI us Ier
everv evenIng. or IuvIng commILLed mvseII, IeIL LIuL couId never
uIIow mvseII Lo sIow surprIse or upseL-even wIen conIronLed wILI
sILuuLIons IurLIesL Irom mv experIence. OLIerwIse mIgIL be
consIdered undependubIe, or unworLIv. IeIL LIuL someIow LIev
expecLed me Lo perIorm even LIose Lusks Ior wIIcI noLIIng In mv
experIence-excepL perIups mv ImugInuLIon-Iud prepured me. SLIII IL
wus noLIIng new, wIILe IoIks seemed uIwuvs Lo expecL vou Lo know
LIose LIIngs wIIcI LIev'd done evervLIIng LIev couId LIInk oI Lo
prevenL vou Irom knowIng. TIe LIIng Lo do wus Lo be prepured-us mv
grundIuLIer Iud been wIen IL wus demunded LIuL Ie quoLe LIe enLIre
UnILed SLuLes ConsLILuLIon us u LesL oI IIs IILness Lo voLe. He Iud
conIounded LIem uII bv pussIng LIe LesL, uILIougI LIev sLIII reIused IIm
LIe buIIoL . . . Anvwuv, LIese were dIIIerenL.
L wus cIose Lo IIve A.M., munv dunces und munv bourbons IuLer,
wIen reucIed Murv's. SomeIow, IeIL surprIsed LIuL LIe room wus
sLIII LIe sume-excepL LIuL Murv Iud cIunged LIe bed IInen. Good oId
Murv. IeIL sudIv sobered. And us undressed suw mv ouLworn
cIoLIes und reuIIzed LIuL 'd Iuve Lo sIed LIem. CerLuInIv IL wus LIme.
Even mv IuL wouId go; ILs green wus sun-Iuded und brown, IIke u IeuI
sLruck bv LIe wInLer's snows. wouId requIre u new one Ior mv new
nume. A bIuck broud-brImmed one; perIups u Iomburg . . . Iumbug?
IuugIed. WeII, couId Ieuve puckIng Ior Lomorrow- Iud verv IILLIe,
wIIcI wus perIups uII Lo LIe good. wouId LruveI IIgIL, Iur und IusL.
TIev were IusL peopIe, uII rIgIL. WIuL u vusL dIIIerence beLween Murv
und LIose Ior wIom wus IeuvIng Ier. And wIv sIouId IL be LIIs wuv,
LIuL LIe verv job wIIcI mIgIL muke IL possIbIe Ior me Lo do some oI LIe
LIIngs wIIcI sIe expecLed oI me requIred LIuL Ieuve Ier? WIuL kInd
oI room wouId BroLIer Juck seIecL Ior me und wIv wusn'L IeIL Lo seIecL
mv own? L dIdn'L seem rIgIL LIuL In order Lo become u HurIem euder
sIouId IIve eIsewIere. YeL noLIIng seemed rIgIL und wouId Iuve Lo
reIv upon LIeIr judgmenL. TIev seemed experL In sucI muLLers.
BuL Iow Iur couId LrusL LIem, und In wIuL wuv were LIev
dIIIerenL Irom LIe LrusLees? WIuLever, wus commILLed; 'd Ieurn In
LIe process oI workIng wILI LIem, LIougIL, rememberIng LIe monev.
TIe bIIIs were crIsp und IresI und LrIed Lo ImugIne Murv's surprIse
wIen puId Ier uII mv buck renL und bourd. SIe'd LIInk LIuL wus
kIddIng. BuL monev couId never repuv Ier generosILv. SIe wouId never
undersLund mv wunLIng Lo move so quIckIv uILer geLLIng u job. And II
Iud unv kInd oI success uL uII, IL wouId seem LIe IeIgIL oI IngruLILude.
How wouId Iuce Ier? SIe Iud usked Ior noLIIng In reLurn. Or IurdIv
unvLIIng, excepL LIuL muke someLIIng oI mvseII LIuL sIe cuIIed u
"ruce Ieuder." sIIvered In LIe coId. TeIIIng Ier LIuL wus movIng
wouId be u Iurd proposILIon. dIdn'L IIke Lo LIInk oI IL, buL one couIdn'L
be senLImenLuI. As BroLIer Juck Iud suId, HIsLorv mukes IursI
demunds oI us uII. BuL LIev were demunds LIuL Iud Lo be meL II men
were Lo be LIe musLers und noL LIe vIcLIms oI LIeIr LImes. DId beIIeve
LIuL? PerIups Iud uIreudv begun Lo puv. BesIdes, mIgIL us weII
udmIL rIgIL now, LIougIL, LIuL LIere ure munv LIIngs ubouL peopIe
IIke Murv LIuL dIsIIke. or one LIIng, LIev seIdom know wIere LIeIr
personuIILIes end und vours begIns; LIev usuuIIv LIInk In Lerms oI "we"
wIIIe Iuve uIwuvs Lended Lo LIInk In Lerms oI "me"-und LIuL Ius
cuused some IrIcLIon, even wILI mv own IumIIv. BroLIer Juck und LIe
oLIers LuIked In Lerms oI "we," buL IL wus u dIIIerenL, bIgger "we."
WeII, Iud u new nume und new probIems. Iud besL Ieuve LIe
oId beIInd. PerIups IL wouId be besL noL Lo see Murv uL uII, jusL pIuce
LIe monev In un enveIope und Ieuve IL on LIe kILcIen LubIe wIere sIe'd
be sure Lo IInd IL. L wouId be beLLer LIuL wuv, LIougIL drowsIIv; LIen
LIere'd be no need Lo sLund beIore Ier und sLumbIe over emoLIons und
words LIuL were uL besL uII snurIed up und undIIIerenLIuLed . . . One
LIIng ubouL LIe peopIe uL LIe CILIonIun, LIev uII seemed ubIe Lo suv
jusL wIuL LIev IeIL und meunL In Iurd, cIeur Lerms. TIuL Loo, 'd Iuve Lo
Ieurn . . . sLreLcIed ouL beneuLI LIe covers, IeurIng LIe sprIngs groun
beneuLI me. TIe room wus coId. IIsLened Lo LIe nIgIL sounds oI LIe
Iouse. TIe cIock LIcked wILI empLv urgencv, us LIougI LrvIng Lo cuLcI
up wILI LIe LIme. n LIe sLreeL u sIren IowIed.
CIupLer 1=
TIen wus uwuke und noL uwuke, sILLIng boIL uprIgIL In bed und
LrvIng Lo peer LIrougI LIe sIck gruv IIgIL us sougIL LIe meunIng oI LIe
brusI, nerve-jungIIng sound. PusIIng LIe bIunkeL usIde cIusped mv
Iunds Lo mv eurs. Someone wus poundIng LIe sLeum IIne, und sLured
IeIpIessIv Ior wIuL seemed mInuLes. Mv eurs LIrobbed. Mv sIde begun
ILcIIng vIoIenLIv und Lore open mv pujumus Lo scruLcI, und suddenIv
LIe puIn seemed Lo Ieup Irom mv eurs Lo mv sIde und suw gruv murks
uppeurIng wIere LIe oId skIn wus IIukIng uwuv beneuLI mv dIggIng
nuIIs. And us wuLcIed suw LIIn IInes oI bIood weII up In LIe
scruLcIes, brIngIng puIn und joInIng LIme und pIuce uguIn, und
LIougIL, TIe room Ius IosL ILs IeuL on mv IusL duv uL Murv's, und
suddenIv wus sIck uL IeurL.
TIe cIock, ILs uIurm IosL In LIe Iurger sound, suId seven-LIIrLv, und
goL ouL oI bed. 'd Iuve Lo Iurrv. TIere wus sIoppIng Lo do beIore
cuIIed BroLIer Juck Ior mv InsLrucLIons und Iud Lo geL LIe monev Lo
Murv-WIv dIdn'L LIev sLop LIuL noIse? reucIed Ior mv sIoes,
IIIncIIng us LIe knockIng seemed Lo sound un IncI ubove mv Ieud.
WIv don'L LIev sLop, LIougIL. And wIv do IeeI so IeL down? TIe
bourbon? Mv nerves goIng bud?
SuddenIv wus ucross LIe room In u bound, poundIng LIe pIpe
IurIousIv wILI mv sIoe IeeI.
"SLop IL, vou IgnorunL IooI!"
Mv Ieud wus spIILLIng. BesIde mvseII, sLruck pIeces oI sIIver Irom
LIe pIpe, exposIng LIe bIuck und rusLed Iron. He wus usIng u pIece oI
meLuI now, IIs bIows rIngIng wILI u rugged edge.
I onIv knew wIo IL wus, LIougIL, IookIng Ior someLIIng Ieuvv
wILI wIIcI Lo sLrIke buck. I onIv knew!
TIen neur LIe door suw someLIIng wIIcI 'd never noLIced LIere
beIore: LIe cusL-Iron IIgure oI u verv bIuck, red-IIpped und wIde-
mouLIed Negro, wIose wIILe eves sLured up uL me Irom LIe IIoor, IIs
Iuce un enormous grIn, IIs sIngIe Iurge bIuck Iund IeId puIm up beIore
IIs cIesL. L wus u bunk, u pIece oI eurIv AmerIcunu, LIe kInd oI bunk
wIIcI, II u coIn Is pIuced In LIe Iund und u Iever pressed upon LIe buck,
wIII ruIse ILs urm und IIIp LIe coIn InLo LIe grInnIng mouLI. or u
second sLopped, IeeIIng IuLe cIurgIng wILIIn me, LIen dusIed over
und grubbed IL, suddenIv us enruged bv LIe LoIerunce or Iuck oI
dIscrImInuLIon, or wIuLever, LIuL uIIowed Murv Lo keep sucI u seII-
mockIng Imuge uround, us bv LIe knockIng.
n mv Iund ILs expressIon seemed more oI u sLrunguIuLIon LIun u
grIn. L wus cIokIng, IIIIed Lo LIe LIrouL wILI coIns.
How LIe IeII dId IL geL Iere, wondered, dusIIng over und sLrIkIng
LIe pIpe u bIow wILI LIe kInkv Iron Ieud. "SIuL up!" screumed, wIIcI
seemed onIv Lo enruge LIe IIdden knocker. TIe dIn wus deuIenIng.
TenunLs up und down LIe enLIre IIne oI upurLmenLs joIned In.
Iummered buck wILI LIe Iron nups, seeIng LIe sIIver IIv, sLrIkIng IIke
drIven sund uguInsL mv Iuce. TIe pIpe IuIrIv Iummed wILI LIe bIows.
WIndows were goIng up. VoIces veIIed obscenILIes down LIe uIrsIuIL.
WIo sLurLed uII LIIs, wondered, wIo's responsIbIe?
"WIv don'L vou ucL IIke responsIbIe peopIe IIvIng In LIe LwenLIeLI
cenLurv?" veIIed, uImIng u bIow uL LIe pIpe. "GeL rId oI vour
coLLonpuLcI wuvs! AcL cIvIIIzed!"
TIen cume u crusI oI sound und IeIL LIe Iron Ieud crumbIe und
IIv upurL In mv Iund. CoIns IIew over LIe room IIke crIckeLs, rIngIng,
ruLLIIng uguInsL LIe IIoor, roIIIng. sLopped deud.
"JusL IIsLen Lo 'em! JusL IIsLen Lo 'em!" Murv cuIIed Irom LIe IuII.
"EnougI noIse Lo wuke LIe deud! TIev know wIen LIe IeuL don'L come
up LIuL LIe super's drunk or done wuIked oII LIe job IookIng Ior IIs
womun, or someLIIng. WIv don'L IoIks ucL uccordIng Lo wIuL LIev
know?"
SIe wus uL mv door now, knockIng sLroke Ior sLroke wILI LIe
bIows IundIng on LIe pIpe, cuIIIng, "Son! AIn'L some oI LIuL knockIng
comIng Irom In LIere?"
Lurned Irom sIde Lo sIde In IndecIsIon, IookIng uL LIe pIeces oI
broken Ieud, LIe smuII coIns oI uII denomInuLIons LIuL were scuLLered
ubouL.
"You Ieur me, bov?" sIe cuIIed.
"WIuL Is IL?" cuIIed, droppIng Lo LIe IIoor und reucIIng
IrunLIcuIIv Ior LIe broken pIeces, LIInkIng, I sIe opens LIe door, 'm
IosL . . .
" suId Is unv oI LIuL ruckeL comIng Irom In LIere?"
"Yes, IL Is, Murv," cuIIed, "buL 'm uII rIgIL . . . 'm uIreudv
uwuke."
suw LIe knob move und Iroze, IeurIng, "Sounded Lo me IIke u
Ieup oI IL wus comIng Irom In LIere. You goL vour cIoLIes on?"
"No," crIed. "'m jusL dressIng. 'II Iuve LIem on In u mInuLe."
"Come on ouL Lo LIe kILcIen," sIe suId. "L's wurm ouL LIere. And
LIere's some IoL wuLer on LIe sLove Lo wusI vour Iuce In . . . und some
coIIee. uwd, jusL IIsLen uL LIe ruckeL!"
sLood us LIougI Irozen, unLII sIe moved uwuv Irom LIe door. 'd
Iuve Lo Iurrv. kneeIed, pIckIng up u pIece oI LIe bunk, u purL oI LIe
red-sIIrLed cIesL, reudIng LIe Iegend, EED ME In u curve oI wIILe
Iron IeLLers, IIke LIe Leum nume on un uLIIeLe's sIIrL. TIe IIgure Iud
gone Lo pIeces IIke u grenude, scuLLerIng jugged IrugmenLs oI puInLed
Iron umong LIe coIns. Iooked uL mv Iund; u smuII LrIckIe oI bIood
sIowed. wIped IL uwuv, LIInkIng, 'II Iuve Lo IIde LIIs mess! cun'L
Luke Ier LIIs und LIe news LIuL 'm movIng uL LIe sume LIme. TukIng u
newspuper Irom LIe cIuIr IoIded IL sLIIIIv und swepL LIe coIns und
broken meLuI InLo u pIIe. WIere wouId IIde IL, wondered, IookIng
wILI proIound dIsLusLe uL LIe Iron kInks, LIe duII red oI u pIece oI
grInnIng IIp. WIv, LIougIL wILI unguIsI, wouId Murv Iuve someLIIng
IIke LIIs uround unvwuv? JusL wIv? Iooked under LIe bed. L wus
dusLIess LIere, no pIuce Lo IIde unvLIIng. SIe wus Loo good u
Iousekeeper. BesIdes, wIuL oI LIe coIns? HeII! Muvbe LIe LIIng wus IeIL
bv LIe Iormer roomer. Anvwuv, wIose ever IL wus, IL Iud Lo be IIdden.
TIere wus LIe cIoseL, buL sIe'd IInd IL LIere Loo. AILer wus gone u Iew
duvs sIe'd cIeun ouL mv LIIngs und LIere IL'd be. TIe knockIng Iud
gone bevond mere proLesL over IeuLIessness now, LIev Iud IuIIen InLo u
rugged rumbu rIvLIm:
Knock!
Knock-knock
Knock-knock!
Knock!
Knock-knock!
Knock-knock!
vIbruLIng LIe verv IIoor.
"JusL u Iew mInuLes more, vou busLurds," suId uIoud, "und 'II be
gone! No respecL Ior LIe IndIvIduuI. WIv don'L vou LIInk ubouL LIose
wIo mIgIL wIsI Lo sIeep? WIuL II someone Is neur u nervous
breukdown . . . ?"
BuL LIere wus sLIII LIe puckuge. TIere wus noLIIng Lo do buL geL
rId oI IL uIong LIe wuv downLown. MukIng u LIgIL bundIe, pIuced IL In
mv overcouL pockeL. 'd sImpIv Iuve Lo gIve Murv enougI monev Lo
cover LIe coIns. 'd gIve Ier us mucI us couId spure, IuII oI wIuL
Iud, II necessurv. TIuL sIouId muke up Ior some oI IL. SIe sIouId
upprecIuLe LIuL. And now reuIIzed wILI u IeeIIng oI dreud LIuL Iud Lo
meeL Ier Iuce Lo Iuce. TIere wus no wuv ouL. WIv cun'L jusL LeII Ier
LIuL 'm IeuvIng und puv Ier und go on oII? SIe wus u IundIudv, wus u
LenunL-No, LIere wus more Lo IL und wusn'L Iurd enougI, scIenLIIIc
enougI, even Lo LeII Ier LIuL wus IeuvIng. 'II LeII Ier Iuve u job,
unvLIIng, buL IL Ius Lo be now.
SIe wus sILLIng uL LIe LubIe drInkIng coIIee wIen wenL In, LIe
keLLIe IIssIng uwuv on LIe sLove, sendIng up jeLs oI sLeum.
"Gee, buL vou sIow LIIs mornIng," sIe suId. "Tuke some oI LIuL
wuLer In LIe keLLIe und go wusI vour Iuce. TIougI sIeepv us vou Iook,
muvbe vou ougIL Lo jusL use coId wuLer."
"TIIs'II do," suId IIuLIv, IeeIIng LIe sLeum drIILIng upon mv Iuce,
growIng swIILIv dump und coId. TIe cIock ubove LIe sLove wus sIower
LIun mIne.
n LIe buLIroom puL In LIe pIug und poured some oI LIe IoL
wuLer und cooIed IL Irom LIe spIgoL. kepL LIe Leur-wurm wuLer upon
mv Iuce u Iong LIme, LIen drIed und reLurned Lo LIe kILcIen.
"Run IL IuII uguIn," sIe suId wIen reLurned. "How vou IeeI?"
"So-so," suId.
SIe suL wILI Ier eIbows upon LIe enumeIed LubIe Lop, Ier cup IeId
In boLI Iunds, one work-worn IILLIe IInger deIIcuLeIv curved. wenL Lo
LIe sInk und Lurned LIe spIgoL, IeeIIng LIe coId rusI oI wuLer upon mv
Iund, LIInkIng oI wIuL Iud Lo do . . .
"TIuL's enougI LIere, bov," Murv suId, sLurLIIng me. "Wuke up!"
" guess 'm noL uII Iere," suId. "Mv mInd wus wunderIng."
"WeII, cuII IL buck und come geL vou some coIIee. Soon's 've Iud
mIne, 'II see wIuL kInd oI breukIusL cun wIIp LogeLIer. guess uILer
IusL nIgIL vou cun euL LIIs mornIng. You dIdn'L come buck Ior supper."
"'m sorrv," suId. "CoIIee wIII be enougI Ior me."
"Bov, vou beLLer sLurL euLIng uguIn," sIe wurned, pourIng me u IuII
cup oI coIIee.
Look LIe cup und sIpped IL, bIuck. L wus bILLer. SIe gIunced Irom
me Lo LIe sugur bowI und buck uguIn buL remuIned sIIenL, LIen swIrIed
Ier cup, IookIng InLo IL.
"Guess 'II Iuve Lo geL some beLLer IIILers," sIe mused. "TIese goL
IeLs LIrougI LIe grounds uIong wILI LIe coIIee, LIe good wILI LIe bud.
don'L know LIougI, even wILI LIe besL oI IIILers vou upL Lo IInd u
ground or Lwo uL LIe boLLom oI vour cup."
bIew upon LIe sLeumIng IIquId, uvoIdIng Murv's eves. TIe
knockIng wus becomIng unbeurubIe uguIn. 'd Iuve Lo geL uwuv.
Iooked uL LIe IoL meLuIIIc surIuce oI LIe coIIee, noLIcIng on oIIv,
opuIescenL swIrI.
"ook, Murv," suId, pIungIng In, " wunL Lo LuIk Lo vou ubouL
someLIIng."
"Now see Iere, bov," sIe suId gruIIIv, " don'L wunL vou worrvIng
me ubouL vour renL LIIs mornIng. 'm noL worrIed 'cuuse wIen vou geL
IL know vou'II puv me. MeunwIIIe vou IorgeL IL. Nobodv In LIIs Iouse
Is goIng Lo sLurve. You IuvIng unv Iuck IInIng up u job?"
"No- meun noL exucLIv," sLummered, seIzIng LIe opporLunILv.
"BuL 've goL un uppoInLmenL Lo see ubouL one LIIs mornIng . . ."
Her Iuce brIgILened. "OI, LIuL's IIne. You'II geL someLIIng veL.
know IL."
"BuL ubouL mv debL," begun uguIn.
"Don'L worrv ubouL IL. How ubouL some IoLcukes?" sIe usked,
rIsIng und goIng Lo Iook InLo LIe cubIneL. "TIev'II sLIck wILI vou In LIIs
coId weuLIer."
" won'L Iuve LIme," suId. "BuL 've goL someLIIng Ior vou . . ."
"WIuL's LIuL?" sIe suId, Ier voIce comIng muIIIed us sIe peered
InsIde LIe cubIneL.
"Here," suId IurrIedIv reucIIng InLo mv pockeL Ior LIe monev.
"WIuL?-eL's see II goL some svrup . . ."
"BuL Iook," suId eugerIv, removIng u Iundred-doIIur bIII.
"MusL be on u IIgIer sIeII," sIe suId, Ier buck sLIII Lurned.
sIgIed us sIe drugged u sLep Iudder Irom besIde LIe cubIneL und
mounLed IL, IoIdIng onLo LIe doors und peerIng upon un upper sIeII.
'd never geL IL suId. . .
"BuL 'm LrvIng Lo gIve vou someLIIng," suId.
"WIv don'L vou quIL boLIerIng me, bov? You LrvIng Lo gIve me
wIuL?" sIe suId IookIng over Ier sIouIder.
IeId up LIe bIII. "TIIs," suId.
SIe cruned Ier Ieud uround. "Bov, wIuL vou goL LIere?"
"L's monev."
"Monev? Good God, bov!" sIe suId, uImosL IosIng Ier buIunce us
sIe Lurned compIeLeIv uround. "WIere'd vou geL uII LIuL mucI monev?
You been pIuvIng LIe numbers?"
"TIuL's IL. Mv number cume up," suId LIunkIuIIv-LIInkIng,
WIuL'II suv II sIe usks wIuL LIe number wus? dIdn'L know. Iud
never pIuved.
"BuL Iow come vou dIdn'L LeII me? 'd Iuve uL IeusL puL u nIckeI on
IL."
" dIdn'L LIInk IL wouId do unvLIIng," suId.
"WeII, decIure. And beL IL wus vour IIrsL LIme Loo."
"L wus."
"See LIere, knowed vou wus u Iuckv one. Here been pIuvIng Ior
veurs und LIe IIrsL drop oI LIe buckeL vou IILs Ior LIuL kIndu monev. 'm
sIo gIud Ior vou, son. reuIIv um. BuL don'L wunL vour monev. You
wuIL 'LII vou geL u job."
"BuL 'm noL gIvIng vou uII oI IL," suId IusLIIv. "TIIs Is jusL on
uccounL."
"BuL LIuL's u Iundred-doIIur bIII. Luke LIuL un' Lrv Lo cIunge IL
und LIe wIILe IoIks'II wunL Lo know mv wIoIe IIIe's IIsLorv." SIe
snorLed. "TIev wunL Lo know wIere wus born, wIere work, und
wIere been Ior LIe IusL sIx monLIs, und wIen LeII 'em LIev sLIII
gonnu LIInk sLoIe IL. AIn'L vou goL noLIIng smuIIer?"
"TIuL's LIe smuIIesL. Tuke IL," pIeuded. "'II Iuve enougI IeIL."
SIe Iooked uL me sIrewdIv. "You sIo?"
"L's LIe LruLI," suId.
"WeII, de-cIure-eL me geL down Irom up Iere beIore IuII und
breuk mv neck! Son," sIe suId, comIng down oII LIe Iudder, " sIo do
upprecIuLe IL. BuL LeII vou, 'm jusL goIng Lo keep purL oI IL Ior mvseII
und LIe resL 'm goIng Lo suve Ior vou. You geL Iurd up jusL come Lo
Murv."
" LIInk 'II be uII rIgIL now," suId, wuLcIIng Ier IoId LIe monev
cureIuIIv, pIucIng IL In LIe IeuLIer bug LIuL uIwuvs Iung on LIe buck oI
Ier cIuIr.
"'m reuIIv gIud, 'cuuse now cun Luke cure oI LIuL bIII LIev been
boLIerIng me ubouL. L'II do me so mucI good Lo go In LIere und pIop
down some monev und LeII LIem IoIks Lo quIL boLIerIng me. Son,
beIIeve vour Iuck done cIunged. You dreum LIuL number?"
gIunced uL Ier euger Iuce. "Yes," suId, "buL IL wus u mIxed-up
dreum."
"WIuL wus LIe IIgger-Jesus! WIuL's LIIs!" sIe crIed, geLLIng up
und poInLIng uL LIe IInoIeum neur LIe sLeum IIne.
suw u smuII drove oI roucIes LroopIng IrunLIcuIIv down LIe sLeum
IIne Irom LIe IIoor ubove, pIummeLIng Lo LIe IIoor us LIe vIbruLIon oI
LIe pIpe sIook LIem oII.
"GeL LIe broom!" Murv veIIed. "OuL oI LIe cIoseL LIere!"
SLeppIng uround LIe cIuIr snuLcIed LIe broom und joIned Ier,
spIuLLerIng LIe scuLLerIng roucIes wILI boLI broom und IeeL, IeurIng
LIe pop und snup us brougIL LIe pressure down upon LIem
veIemenLIv.
"TIe IIILIv, sLInkIng LIIngs," Murv crIed. "GIL LIuL one under LIe
LubIe! Yon' Ie goes, don'L IeL IIm gIL uwuv! TIe nusLv ruscuI!"
swung LIe broom, buLLerIng und sweepIng LIe squusIed InsecLs
InLo pIIes. BreuLIIng excILedIv Murv goL LIe dusL pun und Iunded IL Lo
me.
"Some IoIks jusL IIve In IIILI," sIe suId dIsgusLedIv. "JusL IeL u IILLIe
knockIng sLurL und Iere IL comes cruwIIng ouL. AII vou Iuve Lo do Is
sIuke LIIngs up u bIL."
Iooked uL LIe dump spoLs on LIe IInoIeum, LIen sIukIIv repIuced
LIe pun und broom und sLurLed ouL oI LIe room.
"Aren'L vou goIng Lo euL no breukIusL?" sIe suId. "Soon's wIpe up
LIIs mess 'm goIng Lo sLurL."
" don'L Iuve LIme," suId, mv Iund on LIe knob. "Mv
uppoInLmenL Is eurIv und Iuve u Iew LIIngs Lo do beIoreIund."
"TIen vou beLLer sLop und Iuve vou someLIIng IoL soon us vou
cun. Don'L do Lo go uround In LIIs coId weuLIer wILIouL someLIIng In
vour beIIv. And don'L LIInk vou goIn' sLurL euLIng ouL jusL 'cuuse vou goL
some monev!"
" don'L. 'II Luke cure oI IL," suId Lo Ier buck us sIe wusIed Ier
Iunds.
"WeII, good Iuck, son," sIe cuIIed. "You reuIIv gIve me u pIeusunL
surprIse LIIs mornIng-und II LIuL's u IIe, Iope someLIIng bIg'II bILe
me!"
SIe IuugIed guIIv und wenL down LIe IuII Lo mv room und cIosed
LIe door. PuIIIng on mv overcouL goL down mv prIzed brIeI cuse Irom
LIe cIoseL. L wus sLIII us new us LIe nIgIL oI LIe buLLIe rovuI, und sugged
now us pIuced LIe smusIed bunk und coIns InsIde und Iocked LIe IIup.
TIen cIosed LIe cIoseL door und IeIL.
TIe knockIng dIdn'L boLIer me so mucI now. Murv wus sIngIng
someLIIng sud und serene us wenL down LIe IuII, und sLIII sIngIng us
opened LIe door und sLepped InLo LIe ouLsIde IuII. TIen remembered,
und LIere beneuLI LIe dIm IuII IIgIL Look LIe IuInLIv perIumed puper
Irom mv wuIIeL und cureIuIIv unIoIded IL. A Lremor pussed over me; LIe
IuII wus coId. TIen IL wus gone und squInLed und Look u Iong, Iurd
Iook uL mv new BroLIerIood nume.
TIe nIgIL's snowIuII wus uIreudv beIng cIurned Lo muck bv LIe
pussIng curs, und IL wus wurmer. JoInIng LIe pedesLrIuns uIong LIe
wuIk, couId IeeI LIe brIeI cuse swIngIng uguInsL mv Ieg Irom LIe
weIgIL oI LIe puckuge, und deLermIned Lo geL rId oI LIe coIns und
broken Iron uL LIe IIrsL usI cun. needed noLIIng IIke LIIs Lo remInd me
oI mv IusL mornIng uL Murv's.
mude Ior u row oI crusIed gurbuge cuns IIned beIore u row oI oId
prIvuLe Iouses, comIng uIongsIde und LossIng LIe puckuge cusuuIIv InLo
one oI LIem und movIng on-onIv Lo Ieur u door open beIInd me und u
voIce rIng ouL,
"OI, no vou don'L, oI, no vou don'L! JusL come rIgIL buck Iere und
geL IL!"
TurnIng, suw u IILLIe womun sLundIng on LIe sLoop wILI u green
couL coverIng Ier Ieud und sIouIders, ILs sIeeves IungIng IImp IIke
exLru uLropIIed urms.
" meun vou," sIe cuIIed. "Come on buck un' geL vour LrusI. An'
don'L ever puL vour LrusI In mv cun uguIn!"
SIe wus u sIorL veIIow womun wILI u pInce-nez on u cIuIn, Ier
IuIr pInned up In knoLs.
"We keep our pIuce cIeun und respecLubIe und we don'L wunL vou
IIeId nIggers comIng up Iere Irom LIe SouLI und ruInIng LIIngs," sIe
sIouLed wILI bIuzIng IuLe.
PeopIe were sLoppIng Lo Iook. A super Irom u buIIdIng down LIe
bIock cume ouL und sLood In LIe mIddIe oI LIe wuIk, poundIng IIs IIsL
uguInsL IIs puIm wILI u drv, smuckIng sound. IesILuLed, emburrussed
und unnoved. Wus LIIs womun cruzv?
" meun IL! Yes, vou! 'm LuIkIng Lo vou! JusL Luke IL rIgIL ouL!
RosuIIe," sIe cuIIed Lo someone InsIde LIe Iouse, "cuII LIe poIIce,
RosuIIe!"
cun'L uIIord LIuL, LIougIL, und wuIked buck Lo LIe cun. "WIuL
does IL muLLer, MIss?" cuIIed up Lo Ier. "WIen LIe coIIecLors come,
gurbuge Is gurbuge. jusL dIdn'L wunL Lo LIrow IL InLo LIe sLreeL. dIdn'L
know LIuL some kInds oI gurbuge were beLLer LIun oLIers."
"Never mInd vour ImperLInence," sIe suId. "'m sIck und LIred oI
IuvIng vou souLIern Negroes mess up LIIngs Ior LIe resL oI us!"
"AII rIgIL," suId, "'II geL IL ouL."
reucIed InLo LIe IuII-IIIIed cun, IeeIIng Ior LIe puckuge, us LIe
Iumes oI roLLIng swIII enLered mv nosLrIIs. L IeIL unIeuILIv Lo mv Iund,
und LIe Ieuvv puckuge Iud sunk Iur down. CursIng, pusIed buck mv
sIeeve wILI mv cIeun Iund und probed unLII Iound IL. TIen wIped oII
mv urm wILI u IundkercIIeI und sLurLed uwuv, uwure oI LIe peopIe wIo
puused Lo grIn uL me.
"L serves vou rIgIL," LIe IILLIe womun cuIIed Irom LIe sLoop.
And Lurned und sLurLed upwurd. "TIuL's enougI ouL oI vou, vou
pIece oI veIIow gone-Lo-wusLe. UnIess vou sLIII wunL Lo cuII LIe poIIce."
Mv voIce Iud Luken on u new sIrIII pILcI. "'ve done wIuL vou wunLed
me Lo do; unoLIer word und 'II do wIuL wunL Lo do -"
SIe Iooked uL me wILI wIdenIng eves. " beIIeve vou wouId," sIe
suId, openIng LIe door. " beIIeve vou wouId."
" noL onIv wouId, 'd Iove IL," suId.
" cun see LIuL vou're no genLIemun," sIe cuIIed, sIummIng LIe
door,
AL LIe nexL row oI cuns wIped oII mv wrIsL und Iunds wILI u
pIece oI newspuper, LIen wrupped LIe resL uround LIe puckuge. NexL
LIme 'd LIrow IL InLo LIe sLreeL.
Two bIocks IurLIer uIong mv unger Iud ebbed, buL IeIL sLrungeIv
IoneIv. Even LIe peopIe wIo sLood uround me uL LIe InLersecLIon
seemed IsoIuLed, eucI IosL In IIs own LIougILs. And now jusL us LIe
IIgILs cIunged IeL LIe puckuge IuII InLo LIe LrumpIed snow und IurrIed
ucross, LIInkIng, TIere, IL's done.
Iud covered Lwo bIocks wIen someone cuIIed beIInd me, "Suv,
buddv! Hev, LIere! You, MIsLer . . . WuIL u second!" und couId Ieur LIe
IurrIed cruncIIng oI IooLsLeps upon LIe snow. TIen Ie wus besIde me,
u squuL mun In worn cIoLIes, LIe sLrunds oI IIs breuLI sIowIng wIILe In
LIe coId us Ie smIIed uL me, punLIng.
"You wus movIng so IusL LIougIL wusn'L goIng Lo be ubIe Lo sLop
vou," Ie suId. "DIdn'L vou Iose someLIIng buck LIere u pIece?"
OI, IeII, u IrIend In need, LIougIL, decIdIng Lo denv IL. "ose
someLIIng?" suId. "WIv, no."
"You sure?" Ie suId, IrownIng.
"Yes," suId, seeIng IIs IoreIeud wrInkIe wILI uncerLuInLv, u IoL
cIurge oI Ieur IeupIng Lo IIs eves us Ie seurcIed mv Iuce.
"BuL seen vou-Suv, buddv," Ie suId, IookIng swIILIv buck up LIe
sLreeL, "wIuL vou LrvIng Lo do?"
"Do? WIuL do vou meun?"
" meun LuIkIng 'bouL vou dIdn'L Iose noLIIng. You workIng u con
gume or someLIIng?" He bucked uwuv, IookIng IurrIedIv uL LIe
pedesLrIuns buck up LIe sLreeL Irom wIere Ie'd come.
"WIuL on eurLI ure vou LuIkIng ubouL now?" suId. " LeII vou
dIdn'L Iose unvLIIng."
"Mun, don'L LeII me! seen vou. WIuL LIe IeII vou meun?" Ie suId,
IurLIveIv removIng LIe puckuge Irom IIs pockeL. "TIIs Iere IeeIs IIke
monev or u gun or someLIIng und know dumn weII seen vou drop
IL."
"OI, LIuL," suId. "TIuL Isn'L unvLIIng- LIougIL vou -"
"TIuL's rIgIL, 'OI.' So vou remember now, don'L vou? LIInk 'm
doIng vou u Iuvor und vou pIuv me Ior u IooI. You some kInd oI
conIIdence mun or dope peddIer or someLIIng? You LrvIng Lo work one
oI LIose pIgeon drops on me?"
"PIgeon drop?" suId. "You're mukIng u mIsLuke -"
"MIsLuke, IeII! Tuke LIIs dumn sLuII," Ie suId, LIrusLIng LIe
puckuge In mv Iunds us LIougI IL were u bomb wILI u IIgILed Iuse. "
goL u IumIIv, mun. Lrv Lo do vou u Iuvor und Iere vou LrvIng Lo geL me
InLo LroubIe-You runnIng Irom u deLecLIve or somebodv?"
"WuIL u mInuLe," suId. "You're IeLLIng vour ImugInuLIon run
uwuv; LIIs Is noLIIng buL gurbuge -"
"Don'L Lrv Lo Iund me LIuL sImpIe-mInded crup," Ie wIeezed. "
know wIuL kInd oI gurbuge IL Is. You voung New York Negroes Is u bIIp!
sweur vou Is! Iope LIev cuLcI vou und puL vour uss under LIe juII!"
He sIoL uwuv us LIougI Iud smuIIpox. Iooked uL LIe puckuge.
He LIInks IL's u gun or sLoIen goods, LIougIL, wuLcIIng IIm go. A Iew
sLeps IurLIer uIong wus ubouL Lo Loss IL boIdIv InLo LIe sLreeL wIen
upon IookIng buck suw IIm, joIned bv unoLIer mun now, gesLurIng
Lowurd me IndIgnunLIv. IurrIed uwuv. GIve IIm LIme und LIe IooI'II
cuII u poIIcemun. dropped LIe puckuge buck InLo LIe brIeI cuse. 'd
wuIL unLII goL downLown.
On LIe subwuv peopIe uround me were reudIng LIeIr mornIng
pupers, pressIng Iorwurd LIeIr unpIeusunL Iuces. rode wILI mv eves
sIuL, LrvIng Lo muke mv mInd bIunk Lo LIougILs oI Murv. TIen LurnIng,
suw LIe ILem VIoIenL ProLesL Over HurIem EvIcLIon, jusL us LIe mun
Iowered IIs puper und moved ouL oI LIe breukIng doors. couId IurdIv
wuIL unLII reucIed qznd SLreeL, wIere Iound LIe sLorv currIed on LIe
IronL puge oI u LubIoId, und reud IL eugerIv. wus reIerred Lo onIv us un
unknown "rubbIe rouser" wIo Iud dIsuppeured In LIe excILemenL, buL
LIuL IL reIerred Lo me wus unmIsLukubIe. L Iud IusLed Ior Lwo Iours, LIe
crowd reIusIng Lo vucuLe LIe premIses. enLered LIe cIoLIIng sLore wILI
u new sense oI seII-ImporLunce.
seIecLed u more expensIve suIL LIun 'd InLended, und wIIIe IL
wus beIng uILered pIcked up u IuL, sIorLs, sIoes, underweur und
socks, LIen IurrIed Lo cuII BroLIer Juck, wIo snupped IIs orders IIke u
generuI. wus Lo go Lo u number on LIe upper EusL SIde wIere 'd IInd u
room, und wus Lo reud over some oI LIe BroLIerIood's IILeruLure
wIIcI Iud been IeIL LIere Ior me, wILI LIe Ideu oI mv mukIng u speecI
uL u HurIem ruIIv Lo be IeId LIuL evenIng.
TIe uddress wus LIuL oI un undIsLInguIsIed buIIdIng In u mIxed
SpunIsI-rIsI neIgIborIood, und LIere were bovs LIrowIng snowbuIIs
ucross LIe sLreeL wIen rung LIe super's beII. TIe door wus opened bv u
smuII pIeusunL-Iuced womun wIo smIIed.
"Good mornIng, BroLIer," sIe suId. "TIe upurLmenL Is uII reudv Ior
vou. He suId vou'd come ubouL LIIs LIme und 've jusL LIIs mInuLe come
down. Mv, jusL Iook uL LIuL snow."
IoIIowed Ier up LIe LIree IIIgILs oI sLuIrs, wonderIng wIuL on
eurLI 'd do wILI u wIoIe upurLmenL.
"TIIs Is IL," sIe suId, removIng u cIuIn oI kevs Irom Ier pockeL und
openIng u door uL LIe IronL oI LIe IuII. wenL InLo u smuII comIorLubIv
IurnIsIed room LIuL wus brIgIL wILI LIe wInLer sun. "TIIs Is LIe IIvIng
room," sIe suId proudIv, "und over Iere Is vour bedroom."
L wus mucI Iurger LIun needed, wILI u cIesL oI druwers, Lwo
upIoIsLered cIuIrs, Lwo cIoseLs, u booksIeII und u desk on wIIcI wus
sLucked LIe IILeruLure Lo wIIcI Ie'd reIerred. A buLIroom Iuv oII LIe
bedroom, und LIere wus u smuII kILcIen.
" Iope vou IIke IL, BroLIer," sIe suId, us sIe IeIL. "I LIere's
unvLIIng vou need, pIeuse rIng mv beII."
TIe upurLmenL wus cIeun und neuL und IIked IL-especIuIIv LIe
buLIroom wILI ILs Lub und sIower. And us quIckIv us couId drew u
buLI und souked mvseII. TIen IeeIIng cIeun und exIIIuruLed wenL ouL
Lo puzzIe over LIe BroLIerIood books und pumpIIeLs. Mv brIeI cuse
wILI LIe broken Imuge Iuv on LIe LubIe. wouId geL rId oI LIe puckuge
IuLer; rIgIL now Iud Lo LIInk ubouL LonIgIL's ruIIv.
CIupLer 16
AL seven-LIIrLv BroLIer Juck und some oI LIe oLIers pIcked me up
und we sIoL up Lo HurIem In u LuxI. As beIore, no one spoke u word.
TIere wus onIv LIe sound mude bv u mun In LIe corner wIo drew
noIsIIv on u pIpeIuI oI rum-IIuvored Lobucco, cuusIng IL Lo gIow on und
oII, u red dIsk In LIe durk. rode wILI mounLIng nervousness; LIe LuxI
seemed unnuLuruIIv wurm. We goL ouL In u sIde sLreeL und wenL down u
nurrow uIIev In LIe durk Lo LIe reur oI LIe Iuge, burn-IIke buIIdIng.
OLIer members Iud uIreudv urrIved.
"AI, Iere we ure," BroLIer Juck suId, IeudIng LIe wuv LIrougI u
durk reur door Lo u dressIng room IIgILed bv nuked, Iow-IungIng buIbs
-u smuII room wILI wooden bencIes und u row oI sLeeI Iockers wILI u
neLwork oI numes scruLcIed on LIe doors. L Iud u IooLbuII-Iocker smeII
oI uncIenL sweuL, IodIne, bIood und rubbIng uIcoIoI, und IeIL u weIIIng
up oI memorIes.
"We remuIn Iere unLII LIe buIIdIng IIIIs," BroLIer Juck suId. "TIen
we muke our uppeurunce-jusL uL LIe IeIgIL oI LIeIr ImpuLIence." He
guve me u grIn. "MeunwIIIe, vou LIInk ubouL wIuL vou'II suv. DId vou
Iook over LIe muLerIuI?"
"AII duv," suId.
"Good. suggesL, Iowever, LIuL vou IIsLen cureIuIIv Lo LIe resL oI
us. We'II uII precede vou so LIuL vou cun geL poInLers Ior vour remurks.
You'II be IusL."
nodded, seeIng IIm Luke Lwo oI LIe oLIer men bv LIe urm und
reLreuL Lo u corner. wus uIone, LIe oLIers were sLudvIng LIeIr noLes,
LuIkIng. wenL ucross LIe room Lo u Lorn pIoLogrupI Lucked Lo LIe
Iuded wuII. L wus u sIoL, In IIgILIng sLunce, oI u Iormer prIzeIIgIL
cIumpIon, u popuIur IIgILer wIo Iud IosL IIs sIgIL In LIe rIng. L musL
Iuve been rIgIL Iere In LIIs urenu, LIougIL. TIuL Iud been veurs ugo.
TIe pIoLogrupI wus LIuL oI u mun so durk und buLLered LIuL Ie mIgIL
Iuve been oI unv nuLIonuIILv. BIg und Ioose-muscIed, Ie Iooked IIke u
good mun. remembered mv IuLIer's sLorv oI Iow Ie Iud been beuLen
bIInd In u crooked IIgIL, oI LIe scunduI LIuL Iud been suppressed, und
Iow LIe IIgILer Iud dIed In u Iome Ior LIe bIInd. WIo wouId Iuve
LIougIL 'd ever come Iere? How LIIngs were LwIsLed uround! IeIL
sLrungeIv sud und wenL und sIoucIed on u bencI. TIe oLIers LuIked on,
LIeIr voIces Iow. wuLcIed LIem wILI u sudden resenLmenL. WIv dId
Iuve Lo come IusL? WIuL II LIev bored LIe uudIence Lo deuLI beIore
cume on! 'd probubIv be sIouLed down beIore couId geL sLurLed . . .
BuL perIups noL, LIougIL, jubbIng mv suspIcIons uwuv. PerIups
couId muke un eIIecL LIrougI LIe sIeer conLrusL beLween mv upproucI
und LIeIrs. Muvbe LIuL wus LIe sLruLegv . . . Anvwuv, Iud Lo LrusL
LIem. Iud Lo.
SLIII u nervousness cIung Lo me. IeIL ouL oI pIuce. rom bevond
LIe door couId Ieur u dIsLunL scrupe oI cIuIrs, u murmur oI voIces.
ILLIe worrIes wIIrIed up wILIIn me: TIuL mIgIL IorgeL mv new nume;
LIuL mIgIL be recogInzed Irom LIe uudIence. benL Iorwurd, suddenIv
conscIous oI mv Iegs In new bIue Lrousers. BuL Iow do vou know LIev're
vour Iegs? WIuL's vour nume? LIougIL, mukIng u sud joke wILI
mvseII. L wus ubsurd, buL IL reIIeved mv nervousness. or IL wus us
LIougI were IookIng uL mv own Iegs Ior LIe IIrsL LIme-IndependenL
objecLs LIuL couId oI LIeIr own voIILIon Ieud me Lo suIeLv or dunger.
sLured uL LIe dusLv IIoor. TIen IL wus us LIougI were reLurnIng uILer u
Iong suspensIon oI conscIousness, us LIougI sLood sImuILuneousIv uL
opposILe ends oI u LunneI. seemed Lo vIew mvseII Irom LIe dIsLunce oI
LIe cumpus wIIIe veL sILLIng LIere on u bencI In LIe oId urenu; dressed
In u new bIue suIL; sILLIng ucross LIe room Irom u group oI InLense men
wIo LuIked umong LIemseIves In IusIed, edgv voIces; wIIIe veL In LIe
dIsLunce couId Ieur LIe cIuLLer oI cIuIrs, more voIces, u cougI.
seemed uwure oI IL uII Irom u poInL deep wILIIn me, veL LIere wus u
dIsLurbIng vugueness ubouL wIuL suw, u dIsLurbIng unIormed quuIILv,
us wIen vou see vourseII In u pIoLo exposed durIng udoIescence: LIe
expressIon empLv, LIe grIn wILIouL cIurucLer, LIe eurs Loo Iurge, LIe
pImpIes, "couruge bumps," Loo munv und Loo weII-deIIned. TIIs wus u
new pIuse, reuIIzed, u new begInnIng, und wouId Iuve Lo Luke LIuL
purL oI mvseII LIuL Iooked on wILI remoLe eves und keep IL uIwuvs uL LIe
dIsLunce oI LIe cumpus, LIe IospILuI mucIIne, LIe buLLIe rovuI-uII now
Iur beIInd. PerIups LIe purL oI me LIuL observed IIsLIessIv buL suw uII,
mIssIng noLIIng, wus sLIII LIe muIIcIous, urguIng purL; LIe dIssenLIng
voIce, mv grundIuLIer purL; LIe cvnIcuI, dIsbeIIevIng purL-LIe LruILor
seII LIuL uIwuvs LIreuLened InLernuI dIscord. WIuLever IL wus, knew
LIuL 'd Iuve Lo keep IL pressed down. Iud Lo. or II were successIuI
LonIgIL, 'd be on LIe roud Lo someLIIng bIg. No more IIvIng upurL uL
LIe seums, no more rememberIng IorgoLLen puIns . . . No, LIougIL,
sIIILIng mv bodv, LIev're LIe sume Iegs on wIIcI 've come so Iur Irom
Iome. And veL LIev were someIow new. TIe new suIL ImpurLed u
newness Lo me. L wus LIe cIoLIes und LIe new nume und LIe
cIrcumsLunces. L wus u newness Loo subLIe Lo puL InLo LIougIL, buL
LIere IL wus. wus becomIng someone eIse.
sensed vugueIv und wILI u IIusI oI punIc LIuL LIe momenL
wuIked ouL upon LIe pIuLIorm und opened mv mouLI 'd be someone
eIse. NoL jusL u nobodv wILI u munuIucLured nume wIIcI mIgIL Iuve
beIonged Lo unvone, or Lo no one. BuL unoLIer personuIILv. ew peopIe
knew me now, buL uILer LonIgIL . . . How wus IL? PerIups sImpIv Lo be
known, Lo be Iooked upon bv so munv peopIe, Lo be LIe IocuI poInL oI so
munv concenLruLIng eves, perIups LIIs wus enougI Lo muke one
dIIIerenL; enougI Lo LrunsIorm one InLo someLIIng eIse, someone eIse;
jusL us bv becomIng un IncreusIngIv Iurger bov one becume one duv u
mun; u mun wILI u deep voIce-uILIougI mv voIce Iud been deep sInce
wus LweIve. BuL wIuL II someone Irom LIe cumpus wundered InLo LIe
uudIence? Or someone Irom Murv's-even Murv IerseII? "No, IL
wouIdn'L cIunge IL," Ieurd mvseII suv soILIv, "LIuL's uII pusL." Mv nume
wus dIIIerenL; wus under orders. Even II meL Murv on LIe sLreeL, 'd
Iuve Lo puss Ier bv unrecognIzed. A depressIng LIougIL-und goL up
ubrupLIv und wenL ouL oI LIe dressIng room und InLo LIe uIIev.
WILIouL mv overcouL IL wus coId. A IeebIe IIgIL burned ubove LIe
enLrunce, spurkIIng LIe snow. crossed LIe uIIev Lo LIe durk sIde,
sLoppIng neur u Ience LIuL smeIIed oI curboIIc ucId, wIIcI, us Iooked
buck ucross LIe uIIev, cuused me Lo remember u greuL ubundoned IoIe
LIuL Iud been LIe sILe oI u sporLs urenu LIuL Iud burned beIore mv
bIrLI. AII LIuL wus IeIL, u cIIII drop oI some IorLv IeeL beIow LIe IeuL-
buckIed wuIk, wus LIe sIeII oI concreLe wILI weIrdIv benL und rusLed
rods LIuL Iud been ILs busemenL. TIe IoIe wus used Ior dumpIng, und
uILer u ruIn IL sLunk wILI sLugnunL wuLer. And now In mv mInd sLood
upon LIe wuIk IookIng ouL ucross LIe IoIe pusL u HoovervIIIe sIunLv oI
puckIng cuses und benL LIn sIgns, Lo u ruIIroud vurd LIuL Iuv bevond.
Durk depLIIess wuLer Iuv wILIouL moLIon In LIe IoIe, und pusL LIe
HoovervIIIe u swILcI engIne IdIed upon LIe sIInIng ruIIs, und us u
pIume oI wIILe sLeum curIed sIowIv Irom ILs IunneI suw u mun come
ouL oI LIe sIunLv und sLurL up LIe puLI wIIcI Ied Lo LIe wuIk ubove.
SLooped und durk und sprouLIng rugs Irom IIs sIoes, IuL und sIeeves,
Ie sIuIIIed sIowIv Lowurd me, brIngIng u LIreuLenIng cIoud oI curboIIc
ucId. L wus u svpIIIILIc wIo IIved uIone In LIe sIunLv beLween LIe IoIe
und LIe ruIIroud vurd, comIng up Lo LIe sLreeL onIv Lo beg monev Ior
Iood und dIsInIecLunL wILI wIIcI Lo souk IIs rugs. TIen In mv mInd
suw IIm sLreLcIIng ouL u Iund Irom wIIcI LIe IIngers Iud been euLen
uwuv und run-buck Lo LIe durk, und LIe coId und LIe presenL.
sIIvered, IookIng Lowurd LIe sLreeL, wIere up LIe uIIev LIrougI
LIe LunneIIng durk, LIree mounLed poIIcemen Ioomed beneuLI LIe
cIrcuIur, snow-spurkIIng beum oI LIe sLreeL Iump, gruspIng LIeIr Iorses
bv LIeIr brIdIes, LIe Ieuds oI boLI men und unImuIs benL cIose, us
LIougI pIoLLIng; LIe IeuLIer oI suddIes und IeggIngs sIInIng. TIree
wIILe men und LIree bIuck Iorses. TIen u cur pussed und LIev sIowed
In IuII reIIeI, LIeIr sIudows IIvIng IIke dreums ucross LIe spurkIe oI
snow und durkness. And, us Lurned Lo Ieuve, one oI LIe Iorses
vIoIenLIv Lossed ILs Ieud und suw LIe guunLIeLed IIsL vunked down.
TIen LIere wus u wIId neIgI und LIe Iorse pIunged oII In LIe durk, LIe
crIsp, IrunLIc cIunkIng oI meLuI und LIe sLompIng oI Iooves IoIIowed me
Lo LIe door. PerIups LIIs wus someLIIng Ior BroLIer Juck Lo know.
BuL InsIde LIev were sLIII In u IuddIe, und wenL buck und suL on
LIe bencI.
wuLcIed LIem, IeeIIng verv voung und InexperIenced und veL
sLrungeIv oId, wILI un oIdness LIuL wuLcIed und wuILed quIeLIv wILIIn
me. OuLsIde, LIe uudIence Iud begun Lo drone; u dIsLunL, cIurnIng
sound LIuL brougIL buck some oI LIe Lerror oI LIe evIcLIon. Mv mInd
IIowed. TIere wus u cIIId sLundIng In rompers ouLsIde u cIIcken-wIre
Ience, IookIng In upon u Iuge bIuck-und-wIILe dog, Iog-cIuIned Lo un
uppIe Lree. L wus MusLer, LIe buIIdog; und wus LIe cIIId wIo wus
uIruId Lo LoucI IIm, uILIougI, punLIng wILI IeuL, Ie seemed Lo grIn
buck uL me IIke u IuL good-nuLured mun, LIe suIIvu ropIng sIIverv Irom
IIs jowIs. And us LIe voIces oI LIe crowd cIurned und mounLed und
becume un ImpuLIenL spIuLLer oI Iund cIups, LIougIL oI MusLer's Iow
Iourse growI. He Iud burked LIe sume noLe wIen ungrv or wIen beIng
brougIL IIs dInner, wIen IuzIIv snuppIng IIIes, or wIen LeurIng un
InLruder Lo sIreds. IIked, buL dIdn'L LrusL oId MusLer; wunLed Lo
pIeuse, buL dId noL LrusL LIe crowd. TIen Iooked uL BroLIer Juck und
grInned: TIuL wus IL; In some wuvs, Ie wus IIke u Lov buII LerrIer.
BuL now LIe rour und cIuppIng oI Iunds becume u song und suw
BroLIer Juck breuk oII und bounce Lo LIe door. "Okuv, BroLIers," Ie
suId, "LIuL's our sIgnuI."
We wenL In u buncI, ouL oI LIe dressIng room und down u dIm
pussuge urour wILI LIe dIsLunL sound. TIen IL wus brIgILer und couId
see u spoLIIgIL bIuzIng LIe smokv Iuze. We moved sIIenLIv, BroLIer
Juck IoIIowIng Lwo verv bIuck Negroes und Lwo wIILe men wIo Ied LIe
processIon, und now LIe rour oI LIe crowd seemed Lo rIse ubove us,
IIurIng Iouder. noLIced LIe oLIers IuIIIng InLo coIumns oI Iour, und
wus uIone In LIe reur, IIke LIe pIvoL oI u drIII Leum. AIeud, u sIunLIng
sIuIL oI brIgILness murked LIe enLrunce Lo one oI LIe IeveIs oI LIe
urenu, und now us we pussed IL LIe crowd IeL ouL u rour. TIen swIILIv we
were In LIe durk uguIn, und cIImbIng, LIe rour seemIng Lo sInk beIow us
und we were moved InLo u brIgIL bIue IIgIL und down u rump; Lo eucI
sIde oI wIIcI, sLreLcIIng uwuv In u curve, couId see rows oI bIurred
Iuces-LIen suddenIv wus bIInded und IeIL mvseII crusI InLo LIe mun
uIeud oI me. "L uIwuvs Iuppens LIe IIrsL LIme," Ie sIouLed, sLoppIng Lo
IeL me geL mv buIunce, IIs voIce smuII In LIe rour. "L's LIe spoLIIgIL!"
L Iud pIcked us up now, und, beumIng jusL uIeud, Ied us InLo LIe
urenu und encIrcIed us IuII In ILs beum, LIe crowd LIunderIng. TIe song
bursL IorLI IIke u rockeL Lo LIe murcIIng Lempo oI cIuppIng Iunds:
JoIn Brown's bodv IIes u-moId'rIng In LIe gruve
JoIn Brown's bodv IIes u-moId'rIng In LIe gruve
JoIn Brown's bodv IIes u-moId'rIng In LIe gruve
- HIs souI Is murcIIng on!
mugIne LIuL, LIougIL, LIev muke LIe oId song sound new. AL
IIrsL wus us remoLe us LIougI sLood In LIe IIgIesL buIconv IookIng
on. TIen wuIked IIusI InLo LIe vIbruLIons oI LIe voIces und IeIL un
eIecLrIc LIngIIng uIong mv spIne. We murcIed Lowurd u IIug-druped
pIuLIorm seL neur LIe IronL oI LIe urenu, movIng LIrougI un uIsIe IeIL
beLween rows oI peopIe In IoIdIng cIuIrs, LIen onLo LIe pIuLIorm pusL u
number oI women wIo sLood wIen we cume on. WILI u nod BroLIer
Juck IndIcuLed our cIuIrs und we Iuced LIe uppIuuse sLundIng.
BeIow und ubove us wus LIe uudIence, row uILer row oI Iuces, LIe
urenu u bowI-sIuped uggreguLIon oI IumunILv. TIen suw LIe
poIIcemen und wus dIsLurbed. WIuL II LIev recognIzed me? TIev were
uII uIong LIe wuII. LoucIed LIe urm oI LIe mun uIeud, seeIng IIm Lurn,
IIs mouLI IuILIng In u verse oI LIe song.
"WIv uII LIe poIIce?" suId, IeunIng Iorwurd on LIe buck oI IIs
cIuIr.
"Cops? Don'L worrv. TonIgIL LIev're ordered Lo proLecL us. TIIs
meeLIng Is oI greuL poIILIcuI consequence!" Ie suId, LurnIng uwuv.
WIo ordered LIem Lo proLecL us? LIougIL-BuL now LIe song
wus endIng und LIe buIIdIng rung wILI uppIuuse, veIIs, unLII LIe cIunL
bursL Irom LIe reur und spreud:
No more dIspossessIng oI LIe dIspossessed!
No more dIspossessIng oI LIe dIspossessed!
TIe uudIence seemed Lo Iuve become one, ILs breuLIIng und
urLIcuIuLIon svncIronIzed. Iooked uL BroLIer Juck. He sLood up IronL
besIde u mIcropIone, IIs IeeL pIunLed soIIdIv on LIe dIrLv cunvus-
covered pIuLIorm, IookIng Irom sIde Lo sIde; IIs posLure dIgnIIIed und
benIgn, IIke u bemused IuLIer IIsLenIng Lo LIe perIormunce oI IIs
udorIng cIIIdren. suw IIs Iund go up In u suIuLe, und LIe uudIence
LIundered. And seemed Lo move In cIose, IIke LIe Iens oI u cumeru,
IocusIng InLo LIe scene und IeeIIng LIe IeuL und excILemenL und LIe
poundIng oI voIce und uppIuuse uguInsL mv dIupIrugm, mv eves IIvIng
Irom Iuce Lo Iuce, swIILIv, IIeeLIngIv, seurcIIng Ior someone couId
recognIze, Ior someone Irom LIe oId IIIe, und seeIng LIe Iuces become
vuguer und vuguer LIe IurLIer LIev receded Irom LIe pIuLIorm.
TIe speecIes begun. IrsL un InvocuLIon bv u Negro preucIer; LIen
u womun spoke oI wIuL wus IuppenIng Lo LIe cIIIdren. TIen cume
speecIes on vurIous uspecLs oI LIe economIc und poIILIcuI sILuuLIon.
IIsLened cureIuIIv, LrvIng Lo snuLcI u pIruse Iere, u word LIere, Irom
LIe ursenuI oI Iurd, precIse Lerms. L wus becomIng u IIgI-keved
evenIng. Songs IIured beLween speecIes, cIunLs expIoded us
sponLuneousIv us sIouLs uL u souLIern revIvuI. And wus someIow
uLLuned Lo IL uII, couId IeeI IL pIvsIcuIIv. SILLIng wILI mv IeeL on LIe
soIIed cunvus IeIL us LIougI Iud wundered InLo LIe percussIon
secLIon oI u svmpIonv orcIesLru. L worked on me so LIorougIIv LIuL
soon guve up LrvIng Lo memorIze pIruses und sImpIv uIIowed LIe
excILemenL Lo currv me uIong.
Someone puIIed on mv couL sIeeve-mv Lurn Iud come. wenL
Lowurd LIe mIcropIone wIere BroLIer Juck IImseII wuILed, enLerIng
LIe spoL oI IIgIL LIuL surrounded me IIke u seumIess cuge oI sLuInIess
sLeeI. IuILed. TIe IIgIL wus so sLrong LIuL couId no Ionger see LIe
uudIence, LIe bowI oI Iumun Iuces. L wus us LIougI u semI-
LrunspurenL curLuIn Iud dropped beLween us, buL LIrougI wIIcI LIev
couId see me-Ior LIev were uppIuudIng-wILIouL LIemseIves beIng
seen. IeIL LIe Iurd, mecIunIcuI IsoIuLIon oI LIe IospILuI mucIIne und
dIdn'L IIke IL. sLood, bureIv IeurIng BroLIer Juck's InLroducLIon. TIen
Ie wus LIrougI und LIere wus un encourugIng bursL oI uppIuuse. And
LIougIL, TIev remember, some oI LIem were LIere.
TIe mIcropIone wus sLrunge und unnervIng. upproucIed IL
IncorrecLIv, mv voIce soundIng ruspv und IuII oI uIr, und uILer u Iew
words IuILed, emburrussed. wus geLLIng oII Lo u bud sLurL, someLIIng
Iud Lo be done. Ieuned Lowurd LIe vugue uudIence cIosesL Lo LIe
pIuLIorm und suId, "Sorrv, IoIks. Up Lo now LIev've kepL me so Iur uwuv
Irom LIese sIInv eIecLrIc gudgeLs Iuven'L Ieurned LIe LecInIque . . .
And Lo LeII vou LIe LruLI, IL Iooks Lo me IIke IL mIgIL bILe! JusL Iook uL IL,
IL Iooks IIke LIe sLeeI skuII oI u mun! Do vou LIInk Ie dIed oI
dIspossessIon?"
L worked und wIIIe LIev IuugIed someone cume und mude un
udjusLmenL. "Don'L sLund Loo cIose," Ie udvIsed.
"How's LIuL?" suId, IeurIng mv voIce boom deep und vIbrunL
over LIe urenu. "s LIuL beLLer?"
TIere wus u rIppIe oI uppIuuse.
"You see, uII needed wus u cIunce. You've grunLed IL, now IL's up
Lo me!"
TIe uppIuuse grew sLronger und Irom down IronL u mun's Iur-
currvIng voIce cuIIed ouL, "We wILI vou, BroLIer. You pILcI 'em we
cuLcI 'em!"
TIuL wus uII needed, 'd mude u conLucL, und IL wus us LIougI IIs
voIce wus LIuL oI LIem uII. wus wound up, nervous. mIgIL Iuve been
unvone, mIgIL Iuve been LrvIng Lo speuk In u IoreIgn Iunguuge. or
couIdn'L remember LIe correcL words und pIruses Irom LIe pumpIIeLs.
Iud Lo IuII buck upon LrudILIon und sInce IL wus u poIILIcuI meeLIng,
seIecLed one oI LIe poIILIcuI LecInIques LIuL 'd Ieurd so oILen uL Iome:
TIe oId down-Lo-eurLI, 'm-sIck-und-LIred-oI-LIe-wuv-LIev've-been-
LreuLIng-us upproucI. couIdn'L see LIem so uddressed LIe
mIcropIone und LIe co-operuLIve voIce beIore me.
"You know, LIere ure LIose wIo LIInk we wIo ure guLIered Iere
ure dumb," sIouLed. "TeII me II 'm rIgIL."
"TIuL's u sLrIke, BroLIer," LIe voIce cuIIed. "You pILcIed u sLrIke."
"Yes, LIev LIInk we're dumb. TIev cuII us LIe 'common peopIe.'
BuL 've been sILLIng Iere IIsLenIng und IookIng und LrvIng Lo
undersLund wIuL's so common ubouL us. LIInk LIev're guIILv oI u gross
mIs-sLuLemenL oI IucL-we ure LIe uncommon peopIe -"
"AnoLIer sLrIke," LIe voIce cuIIed In LIe LIunder, und puused
IoIdIng up mv Iund Lo IuIL LIe noIse.
"Yes, we're LIe uncommon peopIe-und 'II LeII vou wIv. TIev cuII
us dumb und LIev LreuL us dumb. And wIuL do LIev do wILI dumb
ones? TIInk ubouL IL, Iook uround! TIev've goL u sIogun und u poIIcv.
TIev've goL wIuL BroLIer Juck wouId cuII u 'LIeorv und u prucLIce.' L's
'Never gIve u sucker un even breuk!' L's dIspossess IIm! EvIcL IIm! Use
IIs empLv Ieud Ior u spILLoon und IIs buck Ior u door muL! L's breuk
IIm! DeprIve IIm oI IIs wuges! L's use IIs proLesL us u soundIng bruss
Lo IrIgILen IIm InLo sIIence, IL's beuL IIs Ideus und IIs Iopes und
IomeIv uspIruLIons, InLo u LInkIIng cvmbuI! A smuII, crucked cvmbuI Lo
LInkIe on LIe ourLI oI JuIv! OnIv muIIIe IL! Don'L IeL IL sound Loo Ioud!
BeuL IL In sLopLIme, gIve LIe dumb bunnIes LIe soIL-sIoe dunce! TIe BIg
Wormv AppIe, TIe CIIcugo GeL Awuv, LIe SIoo Iv Don'L BoLIer Me!
"And do vou know wIuL mukes us so uncommon?" wIIspered
IourseIv. "We IeL LIem do IL."
TIe sIIence wus proIound. TIe smoke boIIed In LIe spoLIIgIL.
"AnoLIer sLrIke," Ieurd LIe voIce cuII sudIv. "AIn'L no use Lo
proLesL LIe decIsIon!" And LIougIL, s Ie wILI me or uguInsL me?
"DIspossessIon! DIs-possessIon Is LIe word!" wenL on. "TIev've
LrIed Lo dIspossess us oI our munIood und womunIood! OI our
cIIIdIood und udoIescence-You Ieurd LIe sIsLer's sLuLIsLIcs on our
InIunL morLuIILv ruLe. Don'L vou know vou're Iuckv Lo be uncommonIv
born? WIv, LIev even LrIed Lo dIspossess us oI our dIsIIke oI beIng
dIspossessed! And 'II LeII vou someLIIng eIse-II we don'L resIsL, preLLv
soon LIev'II succeed! TIese ure LIe duvs oI dIspossessIon, LIe seuson oI
IomeIessness, LIe LIme oI evIcLIons. We'II be dIspossessed oI LIe verv
bruIns In our Ieuds! And we're so uncommon LIuL we cun'L even see IL!
PerIups we're Loo poIILe. PerIups we don'L cure Lo Iook uL
unpIeusunLness. TIev LIInk we're bIInd-uncommonIv bIInd. And
don'L wonder. TIInk ubouL IL, LIev've dIspossessed us eucI oI one eve
Irom LIe duv we're born. So now we cun onIv see In sLruIgIL wIILe IInes.
We're u nuLIon oI one-eved mIce-DId vou ever see sucI u sIgIL In vour
IIIe? SucI un uncommon sIgIL!"
"An' uIn'L u Iurmer's wIIe In LIe Iouse," LIe voIce cuIIed LIrougI
LIe LILLers oI bILLer IuugILer. "L's unoLIer sLrIke!"
Ieuned Iorwurd. "You know, II we uren'L cureIuI, LIev'II sIIp up on
our bIInd sIdes und-pIop! ouL goes our IusL good eve und we're bIInd us
buLs! Someone's uIruId we'II see someLIIng. Muvbe LIuL's wIv so munv
oI our IIne IrIends ure presenL LonIgIL-bIue sLeeI pIsLoIs und bIue serge
suILs und uII!-buL beIIeve one eve Is enougI Lo Iose wILIouL resIsLunce
und LIInk LIuL's vour beIIeI. So IeL's geL LogeLIer. DId vou ever noLIce,
mv dumb one-eved broLIers, Iow Lwo LoLuIIv bIInd men cun geL
LogeLIer und IeIp one unoLIer uIong? TIev sLumbIe, LIev bump InLo
LIIngs, buL LIev uvoId dungers Loo; LIev geL uIong. eL's geL LogeLIer,
uncommon peopIe. WILI boLI our eves we muv see wIuL mukes us so
uncommon, we'II see wIo mukes us so uncommon! Up Lo now we've
been IIke u coupIe oI one-eved men wuIkIng down opposILe sIdes oI LIe
sLreeL. Someone sLurLs LIrowIng brIcks und we sLurL bIumIng eucI oLIer
und IIgILIng umong ourseIves. BuL we're mIsLuken! Becuuse LIere's u
LIIrd purLv presenL. TIere's u smooLI, oIIv scoundreI runnIng down LIe
mIddIe oI LIe wIde gruv sLreeL LIrowIng sLones-He's LIe one! He's
doIng LIe dumuge! He cIuIms Ie needs LIe spuce-Ie cuIIs IL IIs
Ireedom. And Ie knows Ie's goL us on our bIInd sIde und Ie's been
poppIng uwuv LIII Ie's goL us sIIIv-uncommonIv sIIIv! n IucL, n IucL,
IIs Ireedom Ius goL us dumn-nIgI bIInd! HusI now, don'L cuII no
numes!" cuIIed, IoIdIng up mv puIm. " suv Lo IeII wILI LIIs guv! suv
come on, cross over! eL's muke un uIIIunce! 'II Iook ouL Ior vou, und
vou Iook ouL Ior me! 'm good uL cuLcIIng und 've goL u dumn good
pILcIIng urm!"
"You don'L pILcI no buIIs, BroLIer! NoL u sIngIe one!"
"eL's muke u mIrucIe," sIouLed. "eL's Luke buck our pIIIuged
eves! eL's recIuIm our sIgIL; IeL's combIne und spreud our vIsIon. Peep
uround LIe corner, LIere's u sLorm comIng. ook down LIe uvenue,
LIere's onIv one enemv. Cun'L vou see IIs Iuce?"
L wus u nuLuruI puuse und LIere wus uppIuuse, buL us IL bursL
reuIIzed LIuL LIe IIow oI words Iud sLopped. WIuL wouId do wIen
LIev sLurLed Lo IIsLen uguIn? Ieuned Iorwurd, sLruInIng Lo see LIrougI
LIe burrIer oI IIgIL. TIev were mIne, ouL LIere, und couIdn'L uIIord Lo
Iose LIem. YeL suddenIv IeIL nuked, sensIng LIuL LIe words were
reLurnIng und LIuL someLIIng wus ubouL Lo be suId LIuL sIouIdn'L
reveuI.
"ook uL me!" TIe words rIpped Irom mv soIur pIexus. " Iuven'L
IIved Iere Iong. TImes ure Iurd, 've known despuIr. 'm Irom LIe
SouLI, und sInce comIng Iere 've known evIcLIon. 'd come Lo dIsLrusL
LIe worId . . . BuL Iook uL me now, someLIIng sLrunge Is IuppenIng. 'm
Iere beIore vou. musL conIess . . ."
And suddenIv BroLIer Juck wus besIde me, preLendIng Lo udjusL
LIe mIcropIone. "CureIuI now," Ie wIIspered. "Don'L end vour
useIuIness beIore vou've begun."
"'m uII rIgIL," suId, IeunIng Lowurd LIe mIke.
"Muv conIess?" sIouLed. "You ure mv IrIends. We sIure u
common dIsInIerILunce, und IL's suId LIuL conIessIon Is good Ior LIe
souI. Huve vour permIssIon?"
"Your buLLIng .=oo, BroLIer," LIe voIce cuIIed.
TIere wus u sLIr beIInd me. wuILed unLII IL wus quIeL und IurrIed
on.
"SIIence Is consenL," suId, "so 'II Iuve IL ouL, 'II conIess IL!" Mv
sIouIders were squured, mv cIIn LIrusL Iorwurd und mv eves Iocused
sLruIgIL InLo LIe IIgIL. "SomeLIIng sLrunge und mIrucuIous und
LrunsIormIng Is LukIng pIuce In me rIgIL now . . . us sLund Iere beIore
vou!"
couId IeeI LIe words IormIng LIemseIves, sIowIv IuIIIng InLo
pIuce. TIe IIgIL seemed Lo boII opuIescenLIv, IIke IIquId soup sIuken
genLIv In u boLLIe.
"eL me descrIbe IL. L Is someLIIng odd. L's someLIIng LIuL 'm
sure 'd never experIence unvwIere eIse In LIe worId. IeeI vour eves
upon me. Ieur LIe puIse oI vour breuLIIng. And now, uL LIIs momenL,
wILI vour bIuck und wIILe eves upon me, IeeI . . . IeeI . . ."
sLumbIed In u sLIIIness so compIeLe LIuL couId Ieur LIe geurs oI
LIe Iuge cIock mounLed somewIere on LIe buIconv gnuwIng upon
LIme.
"WIuL Is IL, son, wIuL do vou IeeI?" u sIrIII voIce crIed.
Mv voIce IeII Lo u Iuskv wIIsper, " IeeI, IeeI suddenIv LIuL Iuve
become more Iumun. Do vou undersLund? More Iumun. NoL LIuL
Iuve become u mun, Ior wus born u mun. BuL LIuL um more Iumun.
IeeI sLrong, IeeI ubIe Lo geL LIIngs done! IeeI LIuL cun see sIurp und
cIeur und Iur down LIe dIm corrIdor oI IIsLorv und In IL cun Ieur LIe
IooLsLeps oI mIIILunL IruLernILv! No, wuIL, IeL me conIess . . . IeeI LIe
urge Lo uIIIrm mv IeeIIngs . . . IeeI LIuL Iere, uILer u Iong und desperuLe
und uncommonIv bIInd journev, Iuve come Iome . . . Home! WILI
vour eves upon me IeeI LIuL 've Iound mv Lrue IumIIv! Mv Lrue
peopIe! Mv Lrue counLrv! um u new cILIzen oI LIe counLrv oI vour
vIsIon, u nuLIve oI vour IruLernuI Iund. IeeI LIuL Iere LonIgIL, In LIIs
oId urenu, LIe new Is beIng born und LIe vILuI oId revIved. n eucI oI
vou, In me, In us uII.
"SSTERS! BROTHERS!
"WE ARE THE TRUE PATROTS! THE CTZENS O
TOMORROW'S WORD!
"WE' BE DSPOSSESSED NO MORE!"
TIe uppIuuse sLruck IIke u cIup oI LIunder. sLood, LrunsIIxed,
unubIe Lo see, mv bodv quIverIng wILI LIe rour. mude un IndeIInILe
movemenL. WIuL sIouId do-wuve Lo LIem? Iuced LIe sIouLs,
cIeers, sIrIII wIIsLIIng, mv eves burnIng Irom LIe IIgIL. IeIL u Iurge
Leur roII down mv Iuce und wIped IL uwuv wILI emburrussmenL. OLIers
were sLurLIng down. WIv dIdn'L someone IeIp me geL ouL oI LIe spoL
beIore spoIIed evervLIIng? BuL wILI LIe Leurs cume un Increuse oI
uppIuuse und IIILed mv Ieud, surprIsed, mv eves sLreumIng. TIe
sound seemed Lo rour up In wuves. TIev Iud begun Lo sLomp LIe IIoor
und wus IuugIIng und bowIng mv Ieud now unusIumed. L grew In
voIume, LIe sound oI spIILLIng wood cume Irom LIe reur. grew LIred,
buL sLIII LIev cIeered unLII, IInuIIv, guve up und sLurLed buck Lowurd
LIe cIuIrs. Red spoLs dunced beIore mv eves. Someone Look mv Iund,
und Ieuned Lowurd mv eur.
"You dId IL, goddumnIL! You dId IL!" And wus puzzIed bv LIe IoL
mIxLure oI IuLe und udmIruLIon bursLIng LIrougI IIs words us
LIunked IIm und removed mv Iund Irom IIs crusIIng grusp.
"TIunks," suId, "buL LIe oLIers Iud ruIsed LIem Lo LIe rIgIL
pILcI."
sIuddered; Ie sounded us LIougI Ie wouId IIke Lo LIroLLIe me.
couIdn'L see und LIere wus mucI conIusIon und suddenIv someone
spun me uround, puIIIng me oII buIunce, und IeIL mvseII pressed
uguInsL wurm IemInIne soILness, IoIdIng on.
"OI, BroLIer, BroLIer!" u womun's voIce crIed InLo mv eur, "ILLIe
BroLIer!" und IeIL LIe IoL moIsL pressure oI Ier IIps upon mv cIeek.
BIurred IIgures bumped ubouL me. sLumbIed us In u gume oI
bIIndmun's buII. Mv Iunds were sIuken, mv buck pounded. Mv Iuce
wus spruved wILI LIe suIIvu oI enLIusIusm, und decIded LIuL LIe nexL
LIme sLood In LIe spoLIIgIL IL wouId be wIse Lo weur durk gIusses.
L wus u deuIenIng demonsLruLIon. We IeIL LIem cIeerIng,
knockIng over cIuIrs, sLompIng LIe IIoor. BroLIer Juck guIded me oII
LIe pIuLIorm. "L's LIme we IeIL," Ie sIouLed. "TIIngs Iuve LruIv begun
Lo move. AII LIuL energv musL be orgunIzed!"
He guIded me LIrougI LIe sIouLIng crowd, Iunds conLInuIng Lo
LoucI me us sLumbIed uIong. TIen we enLered LIe durk pussuge und
wIen we reucIed LIe end LIe spoLs Iuded Irom mv eves und begun Lo
see uguIn. BroLIer Juck puused uL LIe door.
"IsLen Lo LIem," Ie suId. "JusL wuILIng Lo be LoId wIuL Lo do!" And
couId sLIII Ieur LIe uppIuuse boomIng beIInd us. TIen severuI oI LIe
oLIers broke oII LIeIr conversuLIon und Iuced us, us LIe uppIuuse
muIIIed down beIInd LIe cIosIng door.
"WeII, wIuL do vou LIInk?" BroLIer Juck suId enLIusIusLIcuIIv.
"How's LIuL Ior u sLurLer?"
TIere wus u Lense sIIence. Iooked Irom Iuce Lo Iuce, bIuck und
wIILe, IeeIIng swIIL punIc. TIev were grIm.
"WeII?" BroLIer Juck suId, IIs voIce suddenIv Iurd.
couId Ieur LIe creukIng oI someone's sIoes.
"WeII?" Ie repeuLed.
TIen LIe mun wILI LIe pIpe spoke up, u swIIL cIurge oI LensIon
buIIdIng wILI IIs words.
"L wus u mosL unsuLIsIucLorv begInnIng," Ie suId quIeLIv,
puncLuuLIng LIe "unsuLIsIucLorv" wILI u sLub oI IIs pIpe. He wus IookIng
sLruIgIL uL me und wus puzzIed. Iooked uL LIe oLIers. TIeIr Iuces
were noncommILLuI, sLoIId.
"UnsuLIsIucLorv!" BroLIer Juck expIoded. "And wIuL uIIeged
process oI LIougIL Ied Lo LIuL brIIIIunL pronouncemenL?"
"TIIs Is no LIme Ior cIeup surcusm, BroLIer," LIe broLIer wILI LIe
pIpe suId.
"Surcusm? You mude LIe surcusm. No, IL Isn'L u LIme Ior surcusms
nor Ior ImbecIIILIes. Nor Ior pIuIn dumn-IooIerIes! TIIs Is u kev
momenL In LIe sLruggIe, LIIngs Iuve jusL begun Lo move-und suddenIv
vou ure unIuppv. You ure uIruId oI success? WIuL's wrong? sn'L LIIs
jusL wIuL we've been workIng Ior?"
"AguIn, usk vourseII. You ure LIe greuL Ieuder. ook InLo vour
crvsLuI buII."
BroLIer Juck swore.
"BroLIers!" someone suId.
BroLIer Juck swore und swung Lo unoLIer broLIer. "You," Ie suId
Lo LIe Iuskv mun. "Huve vou LIe couruge Lo LeII me wIuL's goIng on
Iere? Huve we become u sLreeL-corner gung?"
SIIence. Someone sIuIIIed IIs IeeL. TIe mun wILI LIe pIpe wus
IookIng now uL me.
"DId do someLIIng wrong?" suId.
"TIe worsL vou couId Iuve done," Ie suId coIdIv.
SLunned, Iooked uL IIm wordIessIv.
"Never mInd," BroLIer Juck suId, suddenIv cuIm. "JusL wIuL Is LIe
probIem, BroLIer? eL's Iuve IL ouL rIgIL Iere. JusL wIuL Is vour
compIuInL?"
"NoL u compIuInL, un opInIon. I we ure sLIII uIIowed Lo express our
opInIons," LIe broLIer wILI LIe pIpe suId.
"Your opInIon, LIen," BroLIer Juck suId.
"n mv opInIon LIe speecI wus wIId, IvsLerIcuI, poIILIcuIIv
IrresponsIbIe und dungerous," Ie snupped. "And worse LIun LIuL, IL wus
IncorrecL!" He pronounced "IncorrecL" us LIougI LIe Lerm descrIbed
LIe mosL IeInous crIme ImugInubIe, und sLured uL IIm open-mouLIed,
IeeIIng u vugue guIIL.
"Soooo," BroLIer Juck suId, IookIng Irom Iuce Lo Iuce, "LIere's
been u cuucus und decIsIons Iuve been mude. DId vou Luke mInuLes,
BroLIer CIuIrmun? Huve vou recorded vour wIse dIspuLuLIons?"
"TIere wus no cuucus und LIe opInIon sLIII IoIds," LIe broLIer
wILI LIe pIpe suId.
"No meeLIng, buL jusL LIe sume LIere Ius been u cuucus und
decIsIons Iuve been reucIed even beIore LIe evenL Is IInIsIed."
"BuL, BroLIer," someone LrIed Lo InLervene.
"A mosL brIIIIunL, operuLIon," BroLIer Juck wenL on, smIIIng now.
"A consummuLe exumpIe oI skIIIed LIeoreLIcuI NIjInskvs IeupIng uIeud
oI IIsLorv. BuL come down. BroLIers, come down or vou'II Iund on vour
dIuIecLIcs; LIe sLuge oI IIsLorv Iusn'L buIIL LIuL Iur. TIe monLI uILer
nexL, perIups, buL noL veL. And wIuL do vou LIInk, BroLIer WresLrum?"
Ie usked, poInLIng Lo u bIg IeIIow oI LIe sIupe und sIze oI Supercurgo.
" LIInk LIe broLIer's speecI wus buckwurd und reucLIonurv!" Ie
suId.
wunLed Lo unswer buL couId noL. No wonder IIs voIce Iud
sounded so mIxed wIen Ie congruLuIuLed me. couId onIv sLure InLo
LIe broud Iuce wILI ILs IuLe-burnIng eves.
"And vou," BroLIer Juck suId.
" IIked LIe speecI," LIe mun suId, " LIougIL IL wus quILe
eIIecLIve."
"And vou?" BroLIer Juck suId Lo LIe nexL mun.
" um oI LIe opInIon LIuL IL wus u mIsLuke."
"And jusL wIv?"
"Becuuse we musL sLrIve Lo reucI LIe peopIe LIrougI LIeIr
InLeIIIgence . . ."
"ExucLIv," LIe broLIer wILI LIe pIpe suId. "L wus LIe unLILIesIs oI
LIe scIenLIIIc upproucI. Ours Is u reusonubIe poInL oI vIew. We ure
cIumpIons oI u scIenLIIIc upproucI Lo socIeLv, und sucI u speecI us
we've IdenLIIIed ourseIves wILI LonIgIL desLrovs evervLIIng LIuL Ius
been suId beIore. TIe uudIence Isn'L LIInkIng, IL's veIIIng ILs Ieud oII."
"Sure, IL's ucLIng IIke u mob," LIe bIg bIuck broLIer suId.
BroLIer Juck IuugIed. "And LIIs mob," Ie suId, "s IL u mob
uguInsL us, or Is IL u mob Ior us-Iow do our muscIe-bound scIenLIsLs
unswer LIuL?"
BuL beIore LIev couId unswer Ie conLInued, "PerIups vou're rIgIL,
perIups IL Is u mob; buL II IL Is, LIen IL seems Lo be u mob LIuL's sImpIv
boIIIng over Lo come uIong wILI us. And sIouIdn'L Iuve Lo LeII vou
LIeoreLIcIuns LIuL scIence buses ILs judgmenLs upon experImenL! You're
jumpIng Lo concIusIons beIore LIe experImenL Ius run ILs course. n
IucL, wIuL's IuppenIng Iere LonIgIL represenLs onIv one sLep In LIe
experImenL. TIe InILIuI sLep, LIe reIeuse oI energv. cun undersLund
LIuL IL sIouId muke vou LImId-vou're uIruId oI currvIng LIrougI Lo LIe
nexL sLep-becuuse IL's up Lo vou Lo orgunIze LIuL energv. WeII, IL's
goIng Lo be orgunIzed und noL bv u buncI oI LImId sIdeIIne
LIeoreLIcIuns urguIng In u vucuum, buL bv geLLIng ouL und IeudIng LIe
peopIe!"
He wus IIgILIng mud, IookIng Irom Iuce Lo Iuce, IIs red Ieud
brIsLIIng, buL no one unswered IIs cIuIIenge.
"L's dIsgusLIng," Ie suId, poInLIng Lo me. "Our new broLIer Ius
succeeded bv InsLIncL wIere Ior Lwo veurs vour 'scIence' Ius IuIIed, und
now uII vou cun oIIer Is desLrucLIve crILIcIsm."
" beg Lo dIIIer," LIe broLIer wILI LIe pIpe suId. "To poInL ouL LIe
dungerous nuLure oI IIs speecI Isn'L desLrucLIve crILIcIsm. ur Irom IL.
Ike LIe resL oI us, LIe new broLIer musL Ieurn Lo speuk scIenLIIIcuIIv.
He musL be LruIned!"
"So uL IusL IL occurs Lo vou," BroLIer Juck suId, puIIIng down LIe
corners oI IIs mouLI. "TruInIng. AII Is noL IosL. TIere's Iope LIuL our
wIId buL eIIecLIve speuker muv be Lumed. TIe scIenLIsLs perceIve u
possIbIIILv! Verv weII, IL Ius been urrunged; perIups noL scIenLIIIcuIIv
buL urrunged neverLIeIess. or LIe nexL Iew monLIs our new broLIer Is
Lo undergo u perIod oI InLense sLudv und IndocLrInuLIon under LIe
guIdunce oI BroLIer Humbro. TIuL's rIgIL," Ie suId, us sLurLed Lo
speuk. " meunL Lo LeII vou IuLer."
"BuL LIuL's u Iong LIme," suId. "How um goIng Lo IIve?"
"Your suIurv wIII conLInue," Ie suId. "MeunwIIIe, vou'II be guIILv oI
no IurLIer unscIenLIIIc speecIes Lo upseL our broLIers' scIenLIIIc
LrunquIIIILv. n IucL, vou ure Lo sLuv compIeLeIv ouL oI HurIem. PerIups
LIen we'II see II vou broLIers ure us swIIL uL orgunIzIng us vou ure uL
crILIcIzIng. L's vour move, BroLIers."
" LIInk BroLIer Juck Is correcL," u sIorL, buId mun suId. "And
don'L LIInk LIuL we, oI uII peopIe, sIouId be uIruId oI LIe peopIe's
enLIusIusm. WIuL we've goL Lo do Is Lo guIde IL InLo cIunneIs wIere IL
wIII do LIe mosL good."
TIe resL were sIIenL, LIe broLIer wILI LIe pIpe IookIng uL me
unbendIngIv.
"Come," BroLIer Juck suId. "eL's geL ouL oI Iere. I we keep our
eves on LIe reuI gouI our cIunces ure beLLer LIun ever beIore. And IeL's
remember LIuL scIence Isn'L u gume oI cIess, uILIougI cIess muv be
pIuved scIenLIIIcuIIv. TIe oLIer LIIng Lo remember Is LIuL II we ure Lo
orgunIze LIe musses we musL IIrsL orgunIze ourseIves. TIunks Lo our
new broLIer, LIIngs Iuve cIunged; we musLn'L IuII Lo muke use oI our
opporLunILv. rom now on IL's up Lo vou."
"We sIuII see," LIe broLIer wILI LIe pIpe suId. "And us Ior LIe new
broLIer, u Iew LuIks wILI BroLIer Humbro wouIdn'L Iurm unvone."
Humbro, LIougIL, goIng ouL, wIo LIe IeII Is Ie? suppose 'm
Iuckv LIev dIdn'L IIre me. So now 've goL Lo go Lo scIooI uguIn.
OuL In LIe nIgIL LIe group wus breukIng up und BroLIer Juck drew
me usIde. "Don'L worrv," Ie suId. "You'II IInd BroLIer Humbro
InLeresLIng, und u perIod oI LruInIng wus InevILubIe. Your speecI
LonIgIL wus u LesL wIIcI vou pussed wILI IIvIng coIors, so now vou'II be
prepured Ior some reuI work. Here's LIe uddress; see BroLIer Humbro
LIe IIrsL LIIng In LIe mornIng. He's uIreudv been noLIIIed."
WIen reucIed Iome, LIredness seemed Lo expIode wILIIn me. Mv
nerves remuIned Lense even uILer Iud Iud u IoL sIower und cruwIed
InLo bed. n mv dIsuppoInLmenL, wunLed onIv Lo sIeep, buL mv mInd
kepL wunderIng buck Lo LIe ruIIv. L Iud ucLuuIIv Iuppened. Iud been
Iuckv und Iud suId LIe rIgIL LIIngs uL LIe rIgIL LIme und LIev Iud IIked
me. Or perIups Iud suId LIe wrong LIIngs In LIe rIgIL pIuces-
wIuLever, LIev Iud IIked IL regurdIess oI LIe broLIers, und Irom now on
mv IIIe wouId be dIIIerenL. L wus dIIIerenL uIreudv. or now reuIIzed
LIuL meunL evervLIIng LIuL Iud suId Lo LIe uudIence, even LIougI
Iudn'L known LIuL wus goIng Lo suv LIose LIIngs. Iud InLended onIv
Lo muke u good uppeurunce, Lo suv enougI Lo keep LIe BroLIerIood
InLeresLed In me. WIuL Iud come ouL wus compIeLeIv uncuIcuIuLed, us
LIougI unoLIer seII wILIIn me Iud Luken over und IeId IorLI. And
Iuckv LIuL IL Iud, or mIgIL Iuve been IIred.
Even mv LecInIque Iud been dIIIerenL; no one wIo Iud known me
uL coIIege wouId Iuve recognIzed LIe speecI. BuL LIuL wus us IL sIouId
Iuve been, Ior wus someone new-even LIougI Iud spoken In u verv
oId-IusIIoned wuv. Iud been LrunsIormed, und now, IvIng resLIessIv In
bed In LIe durk, IeIL u kInd oI uIIecLIon Ior LIe bIurred uudIence wIose
Iuces Iud never cIeurIv seen. TIev Iud been wILI me Irom LIe IIrsL
word. TIev Iud wunLed me Lo succeed, und IorLunuLeIv Iud spoken
Ior LIem und LIev Iud recognIzed mv words. beIonged Lo LIem. suL
up, gruspIng mv knees In LIe durk us LIe LIougIL sLruck Iome. PerIups
LIIs wus wIuL wus meunL bv beIng "dedIcuLed und seL usIde." Verv weII,
II so, uccepLed IL. Mv possIbIIILIes were suddenIv broudened. As u
BroLIerIood spokesmun wouId represenL noL onIv mv own group buL
one LIuL wus mucI Iurger. TIe uudIence wus mIxed, LIeIr cIuIms
brouder LIun ruce. wouId do wIuLever wus necessurv Lo serve LIem
weII. I LIev couId Luke u cIunce wILI me, LIen 'd do LIe verv besL LIuL
couId. How eIse couId suve mvseII Irom dIsInLegruLIon?
suL LIere In LIe durk LrvIng Lo recuII LIe sequence oI LIe speecI.
AIreudv IL seemed LIe expressIon oI someone eIse. YeL knew LIuL IL
wus mIne und mIne uIone, und II IL wus recorded bv u sLenogrupIer,
wouId Iuve u Iook uL IL Lomorrow.
Words, pIruses skIpped LIrougI mv mInd; suw LIe bIue Iuze
uguIn. WIuL Iud meunL bv suvIng LIuL Iud become "more Iumun"?
Wus IL u pIruse LIuL Iud pIcked up Irom some precedIng speuker, or u
sIIp oI LIe Longue? or u momenL LIougIL oI mv grundIuLIer und
quIckIv dIsmIssed IIm. WIuL Iud un oId sIuve Lo do wILI IumunILv?
PerIups IL wus someLIIng LIuL WoodrIdge Iud suId In LIe IILeruLure
cIuss buck uL coIIege. couId see IIm vIvIdIv, IuII-drunk on words und
IuII oI conLempL und exuILuLIon, pucIng beIore LIe bIuckbourd cIuIked
wILI quoLuLIons Irom Jovce und YeuLs und Seun O'Cusev; LIIn, nervous,
neuL, pucIng us LIougI Ie wuIked u IIgI wIre oI meunIng upon wIIcI
no one oI us wouId ever dure venLure. couId Ieur IIm: "SLepIen's
probIem, IIke ours, wus noL ucLuuIIv one oI creuLIng LIe uncreuLed
conscIence oI IIs ruce, buL oI creuLIng LIe uncreuLed IeuLures oI IIs Iuce.
Our Lusk Is LIuL oI mukIng ourseIves IndIvIduuIs. TIe conscIence oI u
ruce Is LIe gIIL oI ILs IndIvIduuIs wIo see, evuIuuLe, record . . . We creuLe
LIe ruce bv creuLIng ourseIves und LIen Lo our greuL usLonIsImenL we
wIII Iuve creuLed someLIIng Iur more ImporLunL: We wIII Iuve creuLed u
cuILure. WIv wusLe LIme creuLIng u conscIence Ior someLIIng LIuL
doesn'L exIsL? or, vou see, bIood und skIn do noL LIInk!"
BuL no, IL wusn'L WoodrIdge. "More Iumun" . . . DId meun LIuL
Iud become Iess oI wIuL wus, Iess u Negro, or LIuL wus Iess u beIng
upurL; Iess un exIIe Irom down Iome, LIe SouLI? . . . BuL uII LIIs Is
neguLIve. To become Iess-In order Lo become more? PerIups LIuL wus
IL, buL In wIuL wuv more Iumun? Even WoodrIdge Iudn'L spoken oI
sucI LIIngs. L wus u mvsLerv once more, us uL LIe evIcLIon Iud
uLLered words LIuL Iud possessed me.
LIougIL oI BIedsoe und NorLon und wIuL LIev Iud done. Bv
kIckIng me InLo LIe durk LIev'd mude me see LIe possIbIIILv oI
ucIIevIng someLIIng greuLer und more ImporLunL LIun 'd ever
dreumed. Here wus u wuv LIuL dIdn'L Ieud LIrougI LIe buck door, u wuv
noL IImILed bv bIuck und wIILe, buL u wuv wIIcI, II one IIved Iong
enougI und worked Iurd enougI, couId Ieud Lo LIe IIgIesL possIbIe
rewurds. Here wus u wuv Lo Iuve u purL In mukIng LIe bIg decIsIons, oI
seeIng LIrougI LIe mvsLerv oI Iow LIe counLrv, LIe worId, reuIIv
operuLed. or LIe IIrsL LIme, IvIng LIere In LIe durk, couId gIImpse LIe
possIbIIILv oI beIng more LIun u member oI u ruce. L wus no dreum, LIe
possIbIIILv exIsLed. Iud onIv Lo work und Ieurn und survIve In order Lo
go Lo LIe Lop. Sure 'd sLudv wILI Humbro, 'd Ieurn wIuL Ie Iud Lo
LeucI und u IoL more. eL Lomorrow come. TIe sooner wus LIrougI
wILI LIIs Humbro, LIe sooner couId geL sLurLed wILI mv work.
CIupLer 1;
our monLIs IuLer wIen BroLIer Juck cuIIed LIe upurLmenL uL
mIdnIgIL Lo LeII me Lo be prepured Lo Luke u rIde becume quILe excILed.
orLunuLeIv, wus uwuke und dressed, und wIen Ie drove up u Iew
mInuLes IuLer wus wuILIng expecLunLIv uL LIe curb. Muvbe, LIougIL,
us suw IIm IuncIed beIInd LIe wIeeI In IIs LopcouL, LIIs Is wIuL 've
been wuILIng Ior.
"How Iuve vou been, BroLIer?" suId, geLLIng In.
"A IILLIe LIred," Ie suId. "NoL enougI sIeep, Loo munv probIems."
TIen, us Ie goL LIe cur under wuv, Ie becume sIIenL, und decIded
noL Lo usk unv quesLIons. TIuL wus one LIIng Iud Ieurned LIorougIIv.
TIere musL be someLIIng doIng uL LIe CILIonIun, LIougIL, wuLcIIng
IIm sLurIng uL LIe roud us LIougI IosL In LIougIL. Muvbe LIe broLIers
ure wuILIng Lo puL me LIrougI mv puces. I so, IIne; 've been wuILIng
Ior un exumInuLIon . . .
BuL InsLeud oI goIng Lo LIe CILIonIun Iooked ouL Lo dIscover LIuL
Ie Iud brougIL me Lo HurIem und wus purkIng LIe cur.
"We'II Iuve u drInk," Ie suId, geLLIng ouL und IeudIng Ior wIere
LIe neon-IIgILed sIgn oI u buII's Ieud unnounced LIe EI Toro Bur.
wus dIsuppoInLed. wunLed no drInk; wunLed Lo Luke LIe nexL
sLep LIuL Iuv beLween me und un ussIgnmenL. IoIIowed IIm InsIde wILI
u surge oI IrrILuLIon.
TIe burroom wus wurm und quIeL. TIe usuuI rows oI boLLIes wILI
exoLIc numes were IIned on LIe sIeIves, und In LIe reur, wIere Iour
men urgued In SpunIsI over gIusses oI beer, u juke box, IIL up green und
red, pIuved "MedIu uz." And us we wuILed Ior LIe burLender, LrIed Lo
IIgure LIe purpose oI LIe LrIp.
Iud seen verv IILLIe oI BroLIer Juck uILer begInnIng mv sLudIes
wILI BroLIer Humbro. Mv IIIe Iud been Loo LIgILIv orgunIzed. BuL
sIouId Iuve known LIuL II unvLIIng wus goIng Lo Iuppen, BroLIer
Humbro wouId Iuve IeL me know. nsLeud, wus Lo meeL IIm In LIe
mornIng us usuuI. TIuL Humbro, LIougIL, Is Ie u IunuLIc LeucIer! A
LuII, IrIendIv mun, u Iuwver und LIe BroLIerIood's cIIeI LIeoreLIcIun, Ie
Iud proved Lo be u Iurd LuskmusLer. BeLween duIIv dIscussIons wILI
IIm und u rIgId scIeduIe oI reudIng, Iud been workIng Iurder LIun 'd
ever Iound necessurv uL coIIege. Even mv nIgILs were orgunIzed; everv
evenIng Iound me uL some ruIIv or meeLIng In one oI LIe munv dIsLrIcLs
(LIougI LIIs wus mv IIrsL LrIp Lo HurIem sInce mv speecI) wIere 'd sIL
on LIe pIuLIorm wILI LIe speukers, mukIng noLes Lo be dIscussed wILI
IIm LIe nexL duv. Everv occusIon becume u sLudv sILuuLIon, even LIe
purLIes LIuL someLImes IoIIowed LIe meeLIngs. DurIng LIese Iud Lo
muke menLuI noLes on LIe IdeoIogIcuI uLLILudes reveuIed In LIe guesLs'
conversuLIons. BuL Iud soon Ieurned LIe meLIod In IL: NoL onIv Iud
been IeurnIng LIe munv uspecLs oI LIe BroLIerIood's poIIcv und ILs
upproucI Lo vurIous socIuI groupIngs, buL LIe cILv-wIde membersIIp
Iud grown IumIIIur wILI me. Mv purL In LIe evIcLIon wus kepL verv
mucI uIIve, und uILIougI wus under orders Lo muke no speecIes,
Iud grown uccusLomed Lo beIng InLroduced us u kInd oI Iero.
YeL IL Iud been muInIv u LIme Ior IIsLenIng und, beIng u LuIker,
Iud grown ImpuLIenL. Now knew mosL oI LIe BroLIerIood urgumenLs
so weII-LIose doubLed us weII us LIose beIIeved-LIuL couId repeuL
LIem In mv sIeep, buL noLIIng Iud been suId ubouL mv ussIgnmenL.
TIus Iud Ioped LIe mIdnIgIL cuII meunL some kInd oI ucLIon wus Lo
begIn . . .
BesIde me, BroLIer Juck wus sLIII IosL In LIougIL. He seemed In no
Iurrv Lo go eIsewIere or Lo LuIk, und us LIe sIow-moLIon burLender
mIxed our drInks puzzIed vuInIv us Lo wIv Ie Iud brougIL me Iere.
BeIore me, In LIe puneI wIere u mIrror Is usuuIIv pIuced, couId see u
scene Irom u buIIIIgIL, LIe buII cIurgIng cIose Lo LIe mun und LIe mun
swIngIng LIe red cupe In scuIpLured IoIds so cIose Lo IIs bodv LIuL mun
und buII seemed Lo bIend In one swIrI oI cuIm, pure moLIon. Pure gruce,
LIougIL, IookIng ubove LIe bur Lo wIere, Iurger LIun IIIe, LIe pInk und
wIILe Imuge oI u gIrI smIIed down Irom u summerv beer ud on wIIcI u
cuIendur suId AprII One. TIen, us our drInks were pIuced beIore us,
BroLIer Juck cume uIIve, IIs mood cIungIng us LIougI In LIe InsLunL Ie
Iud seLLIed wIuLever Iud been boLIerIng IIm und IeIL suddenIv Iree.
"Here, come buck," Ie suId, nudgIng me pIuvIuIIv. "SIe's onIv u
curdbourd Imuge oI u coId sLeeI cIvIIIzuLIon."
IuugIed, gIud Lo Ieur IIm jokIng. "And LIuL?" suId, poInLIng Lo
LIe buIIIIgIL scene.
"SIeer burburIsm," Ie suId, wuLcIIng LIe burLender und IowerIng
IIs voIce Lo u wIIsper. "BuL LeII me, Iow Iuve vou Iound vour work wILI
BroLIer Humbro?"
"OI, IIne," suId. "He's sLrIcL, buL II 'd Iud LeucIers IIke IIm In
coIIege, 'd know u Iew LIIngs. He's LuugIL me u IoL, buL wIeLIer
enougI Lo suLIsIv LIe broLIers wIo dIsIIked mv urenu speecI, don'L
know. SIuII we converse scIenLIIIcuIIv?"
He IuugIed, one oI IIs eves gIowIng brIgILer LIun LIe oLIer.
"Don'L worrv ubouL LIe broLIers," Ie suId. "You'II do verv weII. BroLIer
Humbro's reporLs on vou Iuve been exceIIenL."
"Now, LIuL's nIce Lo Ieur," .suId, uwure now oI unoLIer buIIIIgIL
scene IurLIer down LIe bur In wIIcI LIe muLudor wus beIng swepL
skvwurd on LIe bIuck buII's Iorns. "'ve worked preLLv Iurd LrvIng Lo
musLer LIe IdeoIogv."
"MusLer IL," BroLIer Juck suId, "buL don'L overdo IL. Don'L IeL IL
musLer vou. TIere Is noLIIng Lo puL LIe peopIe Lo sIeep IIke drv
IdeoIogv. TIe IdeuI Is Lo sLrIke u medIum beLween IdeoIogv und
InspIruLIon. Suv wIuL LIe peopIe wunL Lo Ieur, buL suv IL In sucI u wuv
LIuL LIev'II do wIuL we wIsI." He IuugIed. "Remember Loo, LIuL LIeorv
uIwuvs comes uILer prucLIce. AcL IIrsL, LIeorIze IuLer; LIuL's uIso u
IormuIu, u devusLuLIngIv eIIecLIve one!"
He Iooked uL me us LIougI Ie dId noL see me und couId noL LeII
wIeLIer Ie wus IuugIIng uL me or wILI me. wus sure onIv LIuL Ie wus
IuugIIng.
"Yes," suId, "'II Lrv Lo musLer uII LIuL Is requIred."
"You cun," Ie suId. "And now vou don'L Iuve Lo worrv ubouL LIe
broLIers' crILIcIsm. JusL LIrow some IdeoIogv buck uL LIem und LIev'II
Ieuve vou uIone-provIded, oI course, LIuL vou Iuve LIe rIgIL buckIng
und produce LIe requIred resuILs. AnoLIer drInk?"
"TIunks, 've Iud enougI."
"Are vou sure?"
"Sure."
"Good. Now Lo vour ussIgnmenL: Tomorrow vou ure Lo become
cIIeI spokesmun oI LIe HurIem DIsLrIcL . . ."
"WIuL!"
"Yes. TIe commILLee decIded vesLerduv."
"BuL Iud no Ideu."
"You'II do uII rIgIL. Now IIsLen. You ure Lo conLInue wIuL vou
sLurLed uL LIe evIcLIon. Keep LIem sLIrred up. GeL LIem ucLIve. GeL us
munv Lo joIn us possIbIe. You'II be gIven guIdunce bv some oI LIe oIder
members, buL Ior LIe LIme beIng vou ure Lo see wIuL vou cun do. You
wIII Iuve Ireedom oI ucLIon-und vou wIII be under sLrIcL dIscIpIIne Lo
LIe commILLee."
" see," suId.
"No, vou don'L quILe see," Ie suId, "buL vou wIII. You musL noL
underesLImuLe LIe dIscIpIIne, BroLIer. L mukes vou unswerubIe Lo LIe
enLIre orgunIzuLIon Ior wIuL vou do. Don'L underesLImuLe LIe
dIscIpIIne. L Is verv sLrIcL, buL wILIIn ILs Irumework vou ure Lo Iuve IuII
Ireedom Lo do vour work. And vour work Is verv ImporLunL.
UndersLund?" HIs eves seemed Lo crowd mv Iuce us nodded ves.
"We'd beLLer go now so LIuL vou cun geL some sIeep," Ie suId, druInIng
IIs gIuss. "You're u soIdIer now, vour IeuILI beIongs Lo LIe
orgunIzuLIon."
"'II be reudv," suId.
" know vou wIII. UnLII Lomorrow LIen. You'II meeL wILI LIe
execuLIve commILLee oI LIe HurIem secLIon uL nIne A.M. You know LIe
IocuLIon oI course?"
"No, BroLIer, don'L."
"OI? TIuL's rIgIL-LIen vou'd beLLer come up wILI me Ior u
mInuLe. Iuve Lo see someone LIere und vou cun Luke u Iook uL wIere
vou'II work. 'II drop vou oII on LIe wuv down," Ie suId.
THE dIsLrIcL oIIIces were IocuLed In u converLed cIurcI sLrucLure,
LIe muIn IIoor oI wIIcI wus occupIed bv u puwn sIop, ILs wIndow
crummed wILI IooL LIuL gIeumed duIIv In LIe durkened sLreeL. We Look
u sLuIr Lo LIe LIIrd IIoor, enLerIng u Iurge room beneuLI u IIgI GoLIIc
ceIIIng.
"L's down Iere," BroLIer Juck suId, mukIng Ior LIe end oI LIe
Iurge room wIere suw u row oI smuIIer ones, onIv one oI wIIcI wus
IIgILed. And now suw u mun uppeur In LIe door und IImp Iorwurd.
"EvenIng, BroLIer Juck," Ie suId.
"WIv, BroLIer Turp, expecLed Lo IInd BroLIer TobILL."
" know. He wus Iere buL Ie Iud Lo Ieuve," LIe mun suId. "He IeIL
LIIs enveIope Ior vou und suId Ie'd cuII vou IuLer on LonIgIL."
"Good, good," BroLIer Juck suId. "Here, meeL u new broLIer . . ."
"PIeused Lo meeL vou," LIe broLIer suId, smIIIng. " Ieurd vou
speuk uL LIe urenu. You reuIIv LoId 'em."
"TIunks," suId.
"So vou IIked IL, dId vou, BroLIer Turp?" BroLIer Juck suId.
"TIe bov's uII rIgIL wILI me," LIe mun suId.
"WeII, vou're goIng Lo see u IoL oI IIm, Ie's vour new spokesmun."
"TIuL's IIne," LIe mun suId. "ooks IIke we're goIng Lo geL some
cIunges mude."
"CorrecL," BroLIer Juck suId. "Now IeL's Luke u Iook uL IIs oIIIce
und we'II be goIng."
"Sure, BroLIer," Turp suId, IImpIng beIore me InLo one oI LIe durk
rooms und snuppIng on u IIgIL. "TIIs Iere Is LIe one."
Iooked InLo u smuII oIIIce, conLuInIng u IIuL-Lop desk wILI u
LeIepIone, u LvpewrILer on ILs LubIe, u bookcuse wILI sIeIves oI books
und pumpIIeLs, und u Iuge mup oI LIe worId InscrIbed wILI uncIenL
nuuLIcuI sIgns und u IeroIc IIgure oI CoIumbus Lo one sIde.
"I LIere's unvLIIng vou need, jusL see BroLIer Turp," BroLIer Juck
suId. "He's Iere uL uII LImes."
"TIunks, sIuII," suId. "'II geL orIenLed In LIe mornIng."
"Yes, und we'd beLLer go so vou cun geL some sIeep. Good nIgIL,
BroLIer Turp. See LIuL evervLIIng Is reudv Ior IIm In LIe mornIng."
"He won'L Iuve Lo worrv ubouL u LIIng, BroLIer. Good nIgIL."
"L's becuuse we uLLrucL men IIke BroLIer Turp LIere LIuL we sIuII
LrIumpI," Ie suId us we cIImbed InLo LIe cur. "He's oId pIvsIcuIIv, buL
IdeoIogIcuIIv Ie's u vIgorous voung mun. He cun be depended upon In
LIe mosL precurIous cIrcumsLunce."
"He sounds IIke u good mun Lo Iuve uround," suId.
"You'II see," Ie suId und Iupsed InLo u sIIence LIuL IusLed unLII we
reucIed mv door.
THE commILLee wus ussembIed In LIe IuII wILI LIe IIgI GoLIIc
ceIIIng wIen urrIved, sILLIng In IoIdIng cIuIrs uround Lwo smuII LubIes
pusIed LogeLIer Lo Iorm u unIL.
"WeII," BroLIer Juck suId, "vou ure on LIme. Verv good, we Iuvor
precIsIon In our Ieuders."
"BroLIer, sIuII uIwuvs Lrv Lo be on LIme," suId.
"Here Ie Is, BroLIers und SIsLers," Ie suId, "vour new spokesmun.
Now Lo begIn. Are we uII presenL?"
"AII excepL BroLIer Tod CIIILon," someone suId.
HIs red Ieud jerked wILI surprIse. "So?"
"He'II be Iere," u voung broLIer suId. "We were workIng unLII
LIree LIIs mornIng."
"SLIII, Ie sIouId be on LIme-Verv weII," BroLIer Juck suId, LukIng
ouL u wuLcI, "IeL us begIn. Iuve onIv u IILLIe LIme Iere, buL u IILLIe LIme
Is uII LIuL Is needed. You uII know LIe evenLs oI LIe recenL perIod, und
LIe roIe our new broLIer Ius pIuved In LIem. BrIeIIv, vou ure Iere Lo
see LIuL IL Isn'L wusLed. We musL ucIIeve Lwo LIIngs: We musL pIun
meLIods oI IncreusIng LIe eIIecLIveness oI our ugILuLIon, und we musL
orgunIze LIe energv LIuL Ius uIreudv been reIeused. TIIs cuIIs Ior u
rupId Increuse oI membersIIp. TIe peopIe ure IuIIv uroused; II we IuII
Lo Ieud LIem InLo ucLIon, LIev wIII become pussIve, or LIev wIII become
cvnIcuI. TIus IL Is necessurv LIuL we sLrIke ImmedIuLeIv und sLrIke Iurd!
"or LIIs purpose," Ie suId, noddIng Lowurd me, "our broLIer Ius
been uppoInLed dIsLrIcL spokesmun. You ure Lo gIve IIm vour IovuI
supporL und regurd IIm us LIe new InsLrumenL oI LIe commILLee's
uuLIorILv . . ."
Ieurd LIe sIIgIL uppIuuse spIuLLer up-onIv Lo IuIL wILI LIe
openIng oI LIe door, und Iooked down pusL LIe rows oI cIuIrs Lo
wIere u IuLIess voung mun ubouL mv own uge wus comIng InLo LIe IuII.
He wore u Ieuvv sweuLer und sIucks, und us LIe oLIers Iooked up
Ieurd LIe quIck InLuke oI u womun's pIeusurubIe sIgI. TIen LIe voung
mun wus movIng wILI un eusv Negro sLrIde ouL oI LIe sIudow InLo LIe
IIgIL, und suw LIuL Ie wus verv bIuck und verv Iundsome, und us Ie
udvunced mId-dIsLunce InLo LIe room, LIuL Ie possessed LIe cIIseIed,
bIuck-murbIe IeuLures someLImes Iound on sLuLues In norLIern
museums und uIIve In souLIern Lowns In wIIcI LIe wIILe oIIsprIng oI
Iouse cIIIdren und LIe bIuck oIIsprIng oI vurd cIIIdren beur numes,
IeuLures und cIurucLer LruILs us IdenLIcuI us LIe rIIIIng oI buIIeLs IIred
Irom u common burreI. And now cIose up, IeunIng LuII und reIuxed, IIs
urms ouLsLreLcIed sLIIIIv upon LIe LubIe, suw LIe broud, LuuL spun oI
IIs knuckIes upon LIe durk gruIn oI LIe wood, LIe muscuIur, sweuLered
urms, LIe curvIng IIne oI LIe cIesL rIsIng Lo LIe eusv puIsIng oI IIs
LIrouL, Lo LIe squure, smooLI cIIn, und suw u smuII X-sIuped puLcI oI
udIesIve upon LIe subLIv bIended, veIveL-over-sLone, grunILe-over-
bone, AIro-AngIo-Suxon conLour oI IIs cIeek.
He Ieuned LIere, IookIng uL us uII wILI u remoLe uIooIness In wIIcI
sensed un unsLuLed quesLIonIng beneuLI u IrIendIv cIurm. SensIng u
possIbIe rIvuI, wuLcIed IIm wurIIv, wonderIng wIo Ie wus.
"AI so, BroLIer Tod CIIILon Is IuLe," BroLIer Juck suId. "Our Ieuder
oI LIe vouLI Is IuLe. WIv Is LIIs?"
TIe voung mun poInLed Lo IIs cIeek und smIIed. " Iud Lo see LIe
docLor," Ie suId.
"WIuL Is LIIs?" BroLIer Juck suId, IookIng uL LIe cross oI udIesIve
on LIe bIuck skIn.
"JusL u IILLIe encounLer wILI LIe nuLIonuIIsLs. WILI Rus LIe
ExIorLer's bovs," BroLIer CIIILon suId. And Ieurd u gusp Irom one oI
LIe women wIo guzed uL IIm wILI sIInIng, compussIonuLe eves.
BroLIer Juck guve me u quIck Iook. "BroLIer, vou Iuve Ieurd oI
Rus? He Is LIe wIId mun wIo cuIIs IImseII u bIuck nuLIonuIIsL."
" don'L recuII so," suId.
"You'II Ieur oI IIm soon enougI. SIL down, BroLIer CIIILon; sIL
down. You musL be cureIuI. You ure vuIuubIe Lo LIe orgunIzuLIon, vou
musL noL Luke cIunces."
"TIIs wus unuvoIdubIe," LIe voung mun suId.
"JusL LIe sume," BroLIer Juck suId, reLurnIng Lo LIe dIscussIon
wILI u cuII Ior Ideus.
"BroLIer, ure we sLIII Lo IIgIL uguInsL evIcLIons?" suId.
"L Ius become u IeudIng Issue, LIunks Lo vou."
"TIen wIv noL sLep up LIe IIgIL?"
He sLudIed mv Iuce. "WIuL do vou suggesL?"
"WeII, sInce IL Ius uLLrucLed so mucI uLLenLIon, wIv noL Lrv Lo
reucI LIe wIoIe communILv wILI LIe Issue?"
"And Iow wouId vou suggesL we go ubouL IL?"
" suggesL we geL LIe communILv Ieuders on record In supporL oI
us."
"TIere ure cerLuIn dIIIIcuILIes In Iuce oI LIIs," BroLIer Juck suId.
"MosL oI LIe Ieuders ure uguInsL us."
"BuL LIInk Ie's goL someLIIng LIere," BroLIer CIIILon suId. "WIuL
II we goL LIem Lo supporL LIe Issue wIeLIer LIev IIke us or noL? TIe
Issue Is u communILv Issue, IL's non-purLIsun."
"Sure," suId, "LIuL's Iow IL Iooks Lo me. WILI uII LIe excILemenL
over evIcLIons LIev cun'L uIIord Lo come ouL uguInsL us, noL wILIouL
uppeurIng Lo be uguInsL LIe besL InLeresLs oI LIe communILv . . ."
"So we Iuve LIem ucross u burreI," CIIILon suId.
"TIuL Is percepLIve enougI," BroLIer Juck suId.
TIe oLIers ugreed.
"You see," BroLIer Juck suId wILI u grIn, "we've uIwuvs uvoIded
LIese Ieuders, buL LIe momenL we sLurL Lo udvunce on u broud IronL,
secLurIunIsm becomes u burden Lo be cusL oII. Anv oLIer suggesLIons?"
He Iooked uround.
"BroLIer," suId, rememberIng now, "wIen IIrsL cume Lo HurIem
one oI LIe IIrsL LIIngs LIuL Impressed me wus u mun mukIng u speecI
Irom u Iudder. He spoke verv vIoIenLIv und wILI un uccenL, buL Ie Iud
un enLIusIusLIc uudIence . . . WIv cun'L we currv our progrum Lo LIe
sLreeL In LIe sume wuv?"
"So vou Iuve meL IIm," Ie suId, suddenIv grInnIng. "WeII, Rus LIe
ExIorLer Ius Iud u monopoIv In HurIem. BuL now LIuL we ure Iurger we
mIgIL gIve IL u Lrv. WIuL LIe commILLee wunLs Is resuILs!"
So LIuL wus Rus LIe ExIorLer, LIougIL.
"We'II Iuve LroubIe wILI LIe ExLorLor- meun LIe ExIorLer," u bIg
womun suId. "HIs IoodIums wouId uLLuck und denounce LIe wIILe
meuL oI u rousLed cIIcken."
We IuugIed.
"He goes wIId wIen Ie sees bIuck peopIe und wIILe peopIe
LogeLIer," sIe suId Lo me.
"We'II Luke cure oI LIuL," BroLIer CIIILon suId, LoucIIng IIs cIeek.
"Verv weII, buL no vIoIence," BroLIer Juck suId. "TIe BroLIerIood
Is uguInsL vIoIence und Lerror und provocuLIon oI unv kInd-uggressIve,
LIuL Is. UndersLund, BroLIer CIIILon?"
" undersLund," Ie suId.
"We wIII noL counLenunce unv uggressIve vIoIence. UndersLund?
Nor uLLucks upon oIIIcIuIs or oLIers wIo do noL uLLuck us. We ure
uguInsL uII Iorms oI vIoIence, do vou undersLund?"
"Yes, BroLIer," suId.
"Verv weII, IuvIng mude LIIs cIeur Ieuve vou now," Ie suId. "See
wIuL vou cun uccompIIsI. You'II Iuve pIenLv supporL Irom oLIer
dIsLrIcLs und uII LIe guIdunce vou need. MeunwIIIe, remember LIuL we
ure uII under dIscIpIIne."
He IeIL und we dIvIded LIe Iubor. suggesLed LIuL eucI work In LIe
ureu Ie knew besL. SInce LIere wus no IIuIson beLween LIe BroLIerIood
und LIe communILv Ieuders ussIgned mvseII LIe Lusk oI creuLIng one.
L wus decIded LIuL our sLreeL meeLIngs begIn ImmedIuLeIv und LIuL
BroLIer Tod CIIILon wus Lo reLurn und go over LIe deLuIIs wILI me.
WIIIe LIe dIscussIon conLInued sLudIed LIeIr Iuces. TIev seemed
ubsorbed wILI LIe cuuse und In compIeLe ugreemenL, bIucks und wIILes.
BuL wIen LrIed Lo pIuce LIem us Lo Lvpe goL nowIere. TIe bIg womun
wIo Iooked IIke u souLIern "sudsbusLer" wus In cIurge oI women's
work, und spoke In ubsLrucL, IdeoIogIcuI Lerms. TIe sIv-IookIng mun
wILI LIe IIver spIoLcIes on IIs neck spoke wILI u boId dIrecLness und
eugerness Ior ucLIon. And LIIs BroLIer Tod CIIILon, LIe vouLI Ieuder,
Iooked someIow IIke u IIpsLer, u zooL suILer, u sIurpIe-excepL IIs Ieud
oI PersIun Iumb's wooI Iud never known u sLruIgILener. couId pIuce
none oI LIem. TIev seemed IumIIIur buL were jusL us dIIIerenL us
BroLIer Juck und LIe oLIer wIILes were Irom uII LIe wIILe men Iud
known. TIev were uII LrunsIormed, IIke IumIIIur peopIe seen In u
dreum. WeII, LIougIL, 'm dIIIerenL Loo, und LIev'II see IL wIen LIe
LuIk Is IInIsIed und LIe ucLIon begIns. 'II jusL Iuve Lo be cureIuI noL Lo
unLugonIze unvone. As IL Is, someone mIgIL resenL mv beIng pIuced In
cIurge.
BuL wIen BroLIer Tod CIIILon cume InLo mv oIIIce Lo dIscuss LIe
sLreeL meeLIng suw no sIgns oI resenLmenL, buL u compIeLe ubsorpLIon
In LIe sLruLegv oI LIe meeLIng. WILI greuL cure Ie wenL ubouL
InsLrucLIng me Iow Lo deuI wILI IeckIers, on wIuL Lo do II we were
uLLucked, und upon Iow Lo recognIze our own members Irom LIe resL oI
LIe crowd. or uII IIs seemIng zooL-suILer cIurucLerIsLIcs IIs speecI
wus precIse und Iud no doubL LIuL Ie knew IIs busIness.
"How do vou LIInk we'II do?" suId wIen Ie Iud IInIsIed.
"L'II go bIg, mun," Ie suId. "L'II be bIgger LIun unvLIIng sInce
Gurvev."
" wIsI couId be so sure," suId. " never suw Gurvev."
" dIdn'L eILIer," Ie suId, "buL undersLund LIuL In HurIem Ie wus
verv bIg."
"WeII, we're noL Gurvev, und Ie dIdn'L IusL."
"No, buL Ie musL Iuve Iud someLIIng," Ie suId wILI sudden
pussIon. "He musL Iuve Iud someLIIng Lo move uII LIose peopIe! Our
peopIe ure IeII Lo move. He musL Iuve Iud pIenLv!"
Iooked uL IIm. HIs eves were Lurned Inwurd; LIen Ie smIIed.
"Don'L worrv," Ie suId. "We Iuve u scIenLIIIc pIun und vou seL LIem oII.
TIIngs ure so bud LIev'II IIsLen, und wIen LIev IIsLen LIev'II go uIong."
" Iope so," suId.
"TIev wIII. You Iuven'L been uround LIe movemenL us Iuve, Ior
LIree veurs now, und cun IeeI LIe cIunge. TIev're reudv Lo move."
" Iope vour IeeIIngs ure rIgIL," suId.
"TIev're rIgIL, uII rIgIL," Ie suId. "AII we Iuve Lo do Is guLIer LIem
In."
THE evenIng wus uImosL oI u wInLer coIdness, LIe corner weII
IIgILed und LIe uII-Negro crowd Iurge und LIgILIv pucked. Up on LIe
Iudder now wus surrounded bv u group oI CIIILon's vouLI dIvIsIon,
und couId see, bevond LIeIr bucks wILI upLurned coIIurs, LIe Iuces oI
LIe doubLIuI, LIe curIous und LIe convInced In LIe crowd. L wus eurIv
und LIrew mv voIce Iurd down uguInsL LIe LruIIIc sounds, IeeIIng LIe
dump coIdness oI LIe uIr upon mv cIeeks und Iunds us mv voIce
wurmed wILI mv emoLIon. Iud jusL begun Lo IeeI LIe puIsIng seL up
beLween mvseII und LIe peopIe, IeurIng LIem unswerIng In sLuccuLo
uppIuuse und ugreemenL wIen Tod CIIILon cuugIL mv eve, poInLIng.
And over LIe Ieuds oI LIe crowd und down pusL LIe durk sLoreIronLs
und bIInkIng neon sIgns suw u brIsLIIng bund oI ubouL LwenLv men
quIck-sLeppIng Iorwurd. Iooked down.
"L's LroubIe, keep LuIkIng," CIIILon suId. "GIve LIe bovs LIe sIgnuI."
"Mv BroLIers, LIe LIme Ius come Ior ucLIon," sIouLed. And now
suw LIe vouLI members und some oIder men move uround Lo LIe buck
oI LIe crowd, und up Lo meeL LIe udvuncIng group. TIen someLIIng
suIIed up ouL oI LIe durk und Iunded Iurd uguInsL mv IoreIeud, und
IeIL LIe crowd surge In cIose, sendIng LIe Iudder movIng buckwurds,
und wus IIke u mun LoLLerIng ubove u crowd on sLIILs, LIen droppIng
buckwurds InLo LIe sLreeL und cIeur, IeurIng LIe Iudder cIuLLer down.
TIev were mIIIIng In u punIc now, und suw CIIILon besIde me. "L's Rus
LIe ExIorLer," Ie veIIed. "Cun vou use vour Iunds?"
" cun use mv IIsLs!" wus unnoved.
"WeII, uII rIgIL LIen. Here's vour cIunce. Come on, IeL's see vou
duke!"
He moved Iorwurd und seemed Lo dIve InLo LIe wIIrIIng crowd,
und besIde IIm, seeIng LIem scuLLer InLo doorwuvs und pound oII In
LIe durk.
"TIere's Rus, over LIere," CIIILon crIed. And Ieurd LIe sound oI
breukIng gIuss und LIe sLreeL wenL durk. Someone Iud knocked ouL LIe
IIgIL, und LIrougI LIe dImness suw CIIILon IeudIng Lo wIere u red
neon sIgn gIowed In u durk wIndow us someLIIng wenL pusL mv Ieud.
TIen u mun run up wILI u IengLI oI pIpe und suw CIIILon cIose wILI
IIm, duckIng down und workIng In cIose und grubbIng LIe mun's wrIsL
und LwIsLIng suddenIv IIke u soIdIer execuLIng un ubouL-Iuce so LIuL
now Ie Iuced me, LIe buck oI LIe mun's eIbow rIgId ucross IIs sIouIder
und LIe mun rIsIng on LIpLoe und screumIng us CIIILon sLruIgILened
smooLIIv und Ievered down on LIe urm.
Ieurd u drv poppIng sound und suw LIe mun sug, und LIe pIpe
rung upon LIe wuIk; LIen someone cuugIL me Iurd In LIe sLomucI und
suddenIv knew LIuL wus IIgILIng Loo. wenL Lo mv knees und roIIed
und puIIed erecL, IucIng IIm. "GeL up, UncIe Tom," Ie suId, und
cIIpped IIm. He Iud IIs Iunds und Iud mIne und LIe muLcI wus even
buL Ie wus noL so Iuckv. He wusn'L down und Ie wusn'L ouL, buL
cuugIL IIm Lwo good ones und Ie decIded Lo IIgIL eIsewIere. WIen Ie
Lurned LrIpped IIm und moved uwuv.
TIe IIgIL wus movIng buck InLo LIe durk wIere LIe sLreeL IIgILs
Iud been knocked ouL cIeur Lo LIe corner, und IL wus quIeL excepL Ior
LIe grunLIng und sLruInIng und LIe sound oI IooLIuIIs und oI bIows. L
wus conIusIng In LIe durk und couIdn'L LeII ours Irom LIeIrs und
moved cuuLIousIv, LrvIng Lo see. Someone up LIe sLreeL In LIe durk
veIIed, "Breuk IL up! Breuk IL up!" und LIougIL, Cops, und Iooked
uround Ior CIIILon. TIe neon sIgn gIowed mvsLerIousIv und LIere wus u
IoL oI runnIng und cursIng, und now suw IIm workIng skIIIIuIIv In u
sLore Iobbv beIore u red CHECKS CASHED HERE sIgn und IurrIed
over, IeurIng objecLs suIIIng pusL mv Ieud und LIe crusI oI gIuss.
CIIILon's urms were movIng In sIorL, uccuruLe jubs uguInsL LIe Ieud und
sLomucI oI Rus LIe ExIorLer, puncIIng swIILIv und scIenLIIIcuIIv,
cureIuI noL Lo knock IIm InLo LIe wIndow or sLrIke LIe gIuss wILI IIs
IIsLs, workIng Rus beLween rIgILs und IeILs jubbed so IusL LIuL Ie rocked
IIke u drunken buII, Irom sIde Lo sIde. And us cume up Rus LrIed Lo
buII IIs wuv ouL und suw CIIILon drIve IIm buck und down InLo u
squuL, IIs Iunds upon LIe durk IIoor oI LIe Iobbv, IIs IeeIs buck uguInsL
LIe door IIke u runner uguInsL sLurLIng bIocks. And now, sIooLIng
Iorwurd, Ie cuugIL CIIILon comIng In, buLLIng IIm, und Ieurd LIe
bursL oI breuLI und CIIILon wus on IIs buck und someLIIng IIusIed In
Rus's Iund und Ie cume Iorwurd, u sIorL, Ieuvv IIgure us wIde us LIe
Iobbv now wILI LIe knIIe, movIng deIIberuLeIv. spun, IookIng Ior LIe
IengLI oI pIpe, dIvIng Ior IL und cruwIIng on Iunds und knees und Iere,
Iere-und comIng up Lo see Rus reucI down, geLLIng one Iund InLo
CIIILon's coIIur, LIe knIIe In LIe oLIer, IookIng down uL CIIILon und
punLIng, buII-ungrv. Iroze, seeIng IIm druw buck LIe knIIe und sLop IL
In mId-uIr; druw buck und sLop, cursIng; LIen druw buck und sLop
uguIn, uII verv quIckIv, begInnIng Lo crv now und LuIkIng rupIdIv uL LIe
sume LIme; und me eusIng sIowIv Iorwurd.
"MuIn," Rus bIurLed, " ougIL Lo kIII vou. GoduIm, ougIL Lo kIII
vou und LIe worId be beLLer oII. BuL vou bIuck, muIn. WIv vou be
bIuck, muIn? sweur ougIL Lo kIII vou. No muIn sLrIke LIe ExIorLer,
goduImIL, no muIn!"
suw IIm ruIse LIe knIIe uguIn und now us Ie Iowered IL unused
Ie pusIed CIIILon InLo LIe sLreeL und sLood over IIm, sobbIng.
"WIv vou wILI LIese wIILe IoIks? WIv? been wuLcIIng vou u
Iong LIme. suv Lo mvseII, 'Soon Ie geL smurL und geL LIred. He geL ouL
oI LIuL L'Ing.' WIv u good bov IIke vou sLIII wILI LIem?"
SLIII movIng Iorwurd, suw IIs Iuce gIeum wILI red ungrv Leurs us
Ie sLood ubove CIIILon wILI LIe sLIII InnocenL knIIe und LIe Leurs red In
LIe gIow oI LIe wIndow sIgn.
"You mv broLIer, muIn. BroLIers ure LIe sume coIor; Iow LIe IeII
vou cuII LIese wIILe men broLIer? SIIL, muIn. TIuL's sIIL! BroLIers LIe
sume coIor. We sons oI Mumu AIrIcu, vou done IorgoL? You bIuck,
BACK! You-GoduIm, muIn!" Ie suId, swIngIng LIe knIIe Ior
empIusIs. "You goL buId IuIr! You goL LIIck IIps! TIev suv vou sLInk!
TIev IuLe vou, muIn. You AIrIun. ARCAN! WIv vou wILI LIem?
euve LIuL sIIL, muIn. TIev seII vou ouL. TIuL sIIL Is oId-IusIIoned.
TIev ensIuve us-vou IorgeL LIuL? How cun LIev meun u bIuck muIn
unv good? How LIev goIng Lo be vour broLIer?"
Iud reucIed IIm now und brougIL LIe pIpe down Iurd, seeIng
LIe knIIe IIv oII InLo LIe' durk us Ie grubbed IIs wrIsL, und ruIsed LIe
pIpe uguIn, suddenIv IoL wILI Ieur und IuLe, us Ie Iooked uL me ouL oI
IIs nurrow IILLIe eves, sLundIng IIs ground.
"And vou, muIn," LIe ExIorLer suId, "u reg'Iur IILLIe bIuck devII! A
goduIm sIv mongoose! WIere vou LIInk vou Irom, goIng wILI LIe wIILe
IoIks? know, goduIm; don'L know IL! You Irom down SouLI! You
Irom TrInIdud! You Irom Burbudos! JumuIcu, SouLI AIrIcu, und LIe
wIILe muIn's IooL In vour uss uII LIe wuv Lo LIe IIp. WIuL vou LrvIng Lo
denv bv beLruvIng LIe bIuck peopIe? WIv vou IIgIL uguInsL us? You
voung IeIIows. You voung bIuck men wILI pIenLv educuLIon; been
IeurIng vour rubbIe rousIng. WIv vou go over Lo LIe ensIuver? WIuL
kInd oI educuLIon Is LIuL? WIuL kInd oI bIuck muIn Is LIuL wIo beLruv
IIs own mumu?"
"SIuL up," CIIILon suId, IeupIng Lo IIs IeeL. "SIuL up!"
"HeII, no," Rus crIed, wIpIng IIs eves wILI IIs IIsLs. " LuIk! BusL
me wILI LIe pIpe buL, bv God, vou IIsLen Lo LIe ExIorLer! Come In wILI
us, muIn. We buIId u gIorIous movemenL oI bIuck peopIe. BIuck PeopIe!
WIuL LIev do, gIve vou monev? WIo wuInL LIe duIm sLuII? TIeIr
monev bIeed bIuck bIood, muIn. L's uncIeun! TukIng LIeIr monev Is
sIIL, muIn. Monev wILIouL dIgnILv-TIuL's buId sIIL!"
CIIILon Iunged Lowurd IIm. IeId IIm, sIukIng mv Ieud. "Come
on, LIe mun's cruzv," suId, puIIIng on IIs urm.
Rus sLruck IIs LIIgIs wILI IIs IIsLs. "Me cruzv, muIn? You cuII me
cruzv? ook uL vou Lwo und Iook uL me-Is LIIs sunILv? SLundIng Iere In
LIree sIudes oI bIuckness! TIree bIuck men IIgILIng In LIe sLreeL
becuuse oI LIe wIILe ensIuver? s LIuL sunILv? s LIuL conscIousness,
scIenLIIIc undersLuIndIng? s LIuL LIe modern bIuck muIn oI LIe
LwenLIeLI cenLurv? HeII, muIn! s IL seII-respecL-bIuck uguInsL bIuck?
WIuL LIev gIve vou Lo beLruv-LIeIr women? You IuII Ior LIuL?"
"eL's go," suId, IIsLenIng und rememberIng und suddenIv uIIve In
LIe durk wILI LIe Iorror oI LIe buLLIe rovuI, buL CIIILon Iooked uL Rus
wILI u LIgIL, IuscInuLed expressIon, puIIIng uwuv Irom me.
"eL's go," repeuLed. He sLood LIere, IookIng.
"Sure, vou go," Rus suId, "buL noL IIm. You conLuImInuLed buL Ie
LIe reuI bIuck muIn. n AIrIcu LIIs muIn be u cIIeI, u bIuck kIng! Here
LIev suv Ie rupe LIem goduIm women wILI no bIood In LIeIr veIns.
beL LIIs muIn cun'L beuL LIem oII wILI busebuII buL-sIIL! WIuL kInd oI
IooIIsIness Is IL? KIck IIm uss Irom crudIe Lo gruve LIen cuII IIm
broLIer? Does IL muke muILIemuLIcs? s IL IogIc? ook uL IIm, muIn;
open vour eves," Ie suId Lo me. " Iook IIke LIuL rock LIe bIuIsLed
worId! TIev know ubouL me In Jupun, ndIu-uII LIe coIored counLrIes.
YouLI! nLeIIIgence! TIe muIn's u nuLuruI prInce! WIere Is vour eves?
WIere vour seII-respecL? WorkIng Ior LIem duIm peopIe? TIeIr duvs Is
numbered, LIe LIme Is uImosL Iere und vou IooIIng 'round IIke LIIs wus
LIe nIneLeenLI cenLurv. don'L undersLuInd vou. Am IgnorunL?
Answer me, muIn!"
"Yes," CIIILon bursL ouL. "HeII, ves!"
"You L'Ink 'm cruzv, Is IL c'use speuk buId EngIIsI? HeII, IL uIn'L
mv mumu Longue, muIn, 'm AIrIcun! You reuIIv L'Ink 'm cruzv?"
"Yes, ves!"
"You beIIeve LIuL?" suId Rus. "WIuL LIev do Lo vou, bIuck muIn?
GIve vou LIem sLInkIng women?"
CIIILon Iunged uguIn, und uguIn grubbed IIm; und uguIn Rus IeId
IIs ground, IIs Ieud gIowIng red.
"Women? GoduIm, muIn! s LIuL equuIILv? s LIuL LIe bIuck
muIn's Ireedom? A puL on LIe buck und u pIece oI cunL wILIouL no
pussIon? MuggoLs! TIev buv vou LIuL bIuIsLed cIeup, muIn? WIuL
LIev do Lo mv peopIe! WIere Is vour bruIns? TIese women dregs,
muIn! TIev bIIge wuLer! You know LIe IIgI-cIuss wIILe muIn IuLes LIe
bIuck muIn, LIuL's sImpIe. So now Ie use LIe dregs und wuInL vou
bIuck voung men Lo do IIs dIrLv work. TIev beLruv vou und vou beLruv
LIe bIuck peopIe. TIev LrIckIng vou, muIn. eL LIem IIgIL umong
LIemseIves. eL 'em kIII oII one unoLIer. We orgunIze-orgunIzuLIon Is
good-buL we orgunIze bIuck. BACK! To IeII wILI LIuL son oI u bILcI!
He Luke one LIem sLrumpeLs und LeII LIe bIuck muIn IIs Ireedom IIe
beLween Ier skInnv Iegs-wIIIe LIuL son oI u gun, Ie Luke uII LIe power
und LIe cupILuI und don'L Ieuve LIe bIuck muIn noL'Ing. TIe good wIILe
women Ie LeII LIe bIuck muIn Is u rupIsL und keep LIem Iocked up und
IgnorunL wIIIe Ie mukes LIe bIuck muIn u ruce oI buIsLurds.
"WIen LIe bIuck muIn goIng Lo LIre oI LIIs cIIIdIsI perIIdILv? He
goL vou so vou don'L LrusL vour bIuck InLeIIIgence? You voung, don'L
pIuv vou'seII cIeup, muIn. Don'L denv vou'seII! L Look u bIIIIon guIIons
oI bIuck bIood Lo muke vou. RecognIze vou'seII InsIde und vou wun LIe
kIngs umong men! A muIn knows Ie's u muIn wIen Ie goL noL'Ing,
wIen Ie's nuked-nobodv Iuve Lo LeII IIm LIuL. You sIx IooL LuII, muIn.
You voung und InLeIIIgenL. You bIuck und beuuLIIuI-don'L IeL 'em LeII
vou dIIIerenL! You wusn'L LIem L'Ings vou be deud, muIn. Deud! 'd
Iuve kIIIed vou, muIn. Rus LIe ExIorLer ruIsed up IIs knIIe und LrIed Lo
do IL, buL Ie couId noL do IL. WIv don'L vou do IL? usk mvseII. wIII do
IL now, suv; buL someL'Ing LeII me, 'No, no! You mIgIL be kIIIIng vour
bIuck kIng!' And suv, vus, vus! So uccepL vour IumIIIuLIng uIcLIon.
Rus recognIzed vour bIuck possIbIIILIes, muIn. Rus wouId noL suIcrIIIce
IIs bIuck broLIer Lo LIe wIILe ensIuver. nsLeud Ie crv. Rus Is u muIn-
no wIILe muIn Iuve Lo LeII IIm LIuL-und Rus crv. So wIv don'L vou
recognIze vour bIuck duLv, muIn, und come jIne us?"
HIs cIesL wus IeuvIng und u noLe oI pIeudIng Iud come InLo LIe
IursI voIce. He wus un exIorLer, uII rIgIL, und wus cuugIL In LIe
crude, Insune eIoquence oI IIs pIeu. He sLood LIere, uwuILIng un
unswer. And suddenIv u bIg LrunsporL pIune cume Iow over LIe
buIIdIngs und Iooked up Lo see LIe IIrIng oI ILs engIne, und we were uII
LIree sIIenL, wuLcIIng.
SuddenIv LIe ExIorLer sIook IIs IIsL Lowurd LIe pIune und veIIed,
"HeII wILI IIm, some duv we Iuve LIem Loo! HeII wILI IIm!"
He sLood LIere, sIukIng IIs IIsL us LIe pIune ruLLIed LIe buIIdIngs
In ILs powerIuI IIIgIL. TIen IL wus gone und Iooked ubouL LIe unreuI
sLreeL. TIev were IIgILIng Iur up LIe bIock In LIe durk now und we were
uIone. Iooked uL LIe ExIorLer. dIdn'L know II wus ungrv or umuzed.
"ook," suId, sIukIng mv Ieud, "IeL's LuIk sense. rom now on
we'II be on LIe sLreeL corners everv nIgIL und we'II be prepured Ior
LroubIe. We don'L wunL IL, especIuIIv wILI vou, buL we won'L run eILIer .
. ."
"Goddum, muIn," Ie suId, IeupIng Iorwurd, "LIIs Is HurIem. TIIs
Is mv LerrILorv, LIe bIuck muIn's LerrILorv. You LIInk we IeL wIILe IoIks
come In und spreud LIeIr poIson? eL 'em come In IIke LIev come und
Luke over LIe numbers ruckeL? Ike LIev Iuve uII LIe sLores? TuIk sense,
muIn, II vou LuIkIng Lo Rus, LuIk sense!"
"TIIs Is sense," suId, "und vou IIsLen us we IIsLened Lo vou. We'II
be ouL Iere everv nIgIL, undersLund. We'II be ouL Iere und LIe nexL
LIme vou go uILer one oI our broLIers wILI u knIIe-und meun wIILe or
bIuck-weII, we won'L IorgeL IL."
He sIook IIs Ieud, "Nor wIII IorgeL vou eILIer, muIn."
"Don'L. don'L wunL vou Lo; becuuse II vou IorgeL LIere'II be
LroubIe. You're mIsLuken, don'L vou see vou're ouLnumbered? You need
uIIIes Lo wIn . . ."
"TIuL LIere Is sense. BIuck uIIIes. YeIIow und brown uIIIes!"
"AII men wIo wunL u broLIerIv worId," suId.
"Don'L be sLupId, muIn. TIev wIILe, LIev don'L Iuve Lo be uIIIes
wILI no bIuck peopIe. TIev geL wIuL LIev wuInL, LIev Lurn uguInsL vou.
WIere's vour bIuck InLeIIIgence?"
"TIInkIng IIke LIuL wIII geL vou IosL In LIe buckwusI oI IIsLorv,"
suId. "SLurL LIInkIng wILI vour mInd und noL vour emoLIons."
He sIook IIs Ieud veIemenLIv, IookIng uL CIIILon.
"TIIs bIuck muIn LuIkIng Lo me ubouL bruIns und LIInkIng. usk
boLI oI vou, ure vou uwuke or sIeepIng? WIuL Is vour puIsL und wIere
ure vou goIng? Never mInd, Luke vour corrupL IdeoIogv und euL ouL vour
own guLs IIke u IuugIIng Ivenu. You ure nowIere, muIn. NowIere! Rus
Is noL IgnorunL, nor Is Rus uIruId. No! Rus, Ie be Iere bIuck und IIgILIng
Ior LIe IIberLv oI LIe bIuck peopIe wIen LIe wIILe IoIks Iuve goL wIuL
LIev wuInL und done gone oII IuugIIng In vour Iuce und vou sLInkIng
und cIoked up wILI wIILe muggoLs."
He spuL ungrIIv InLo LIe durk sLreeL. L IIew pInk In LIe red gIow.
"TIuL'II be uII rIgIL wILI me," suId. "OnIv remember wIuL suId.
Come on, BroLIer CIIILon. TIIs mun's IuII oI pus, bIuck pus."
We sLurLed uwuv, u pIece oI gIuss cruncIIng under mv IooL.
"Muvbe so," Rus suId, "buL uIm no IooI! uIm no bIuck educuLed
IooI wIo L'Inks evervLIIng beLween bIuck muIn und wIILe muIn cun be
seLLIed wILI some bIuIsLed IIes In some bIoodv books wrILLen bv LIe
wIILe muIn In LIe IIrsL pIuce. L's LIree Iundred veurs oI bIuck bIood Lo
buIId LIIs wIILe muIn's cIvIIIzuLIon und wuIn'L be wIped ouL In u
mInuLe. BIood cuIIs Ior bIood! You remember LIuL. And remember LIuL
um noL IIke vou. Rus recognIzes LIe Lrue Issues und Ie Is noL uIruId Lo
be bIuck. Nor Is Ie u LruILor Ior wIILe men. Remember LIuL: um no
bIuck LruILor Lo LIe bIuck peopIe Ior LIe wIILe peopIe."
And beIore couId unswer CIIILon spun In LIe durk und LIere wus
u cruck und suw Rus go down und CIIILon breuLIIng Iurd und Rus
IvIng LIere In LIe sLreeL, u LIIck, bIuck mun wILI red Leurs on IIs Iuce
LIuL cuugIL LIe reIIecLIon oI LIe CHECKS CASHED HERE sIgn.
And uguIn, us CIIILon Iooked gruveIv down Ie seemed Lo usk u
sIIenL quesLIon.
"eL's go," suId. "eL's go!"
We sLurLed uwuv us LIe screums oI sIrens sounded, CIIILon cursIng
quIeLIv Lo IImseII.
TIen we were ouL oI LIe durk onLo u busv sLreeL und Ie Lurned Lo
me. TIere were Leurs In IIs eves.
"TIuL poor, mIsguIded son oI u bILcI," Ie suId.
"He LIInks u IoL oI vou, Loo," suId. wus gIud Lo be ouL oI LIe durk
und uwuv Irom LIuL exIorLIng voIce.
"TIe mun's cruzv," CIIILon suId. "L'II run vou cruzv II vou IeL IL."
"WIere'd Ie geL LIuL nume?" suId.
"He guve IL Lo IImseII. guess Ie dId. Rus Is u LILIe oI respecL In LIe
EusL. L's u wonder Ie dIdn'L suv someLIIng ubouL 'ELIIopIu sLreLcIIng
IorLI Ier wIngs,' " Ie suId, mImIckIng Rus. "He mukes IL sound IIke LIe
Iood oI u cobru IIuLLerIng . . . don'L know . . . don'L know . . ."
"We'II Iuve Lo wuLcI IIm now," suId.
"Yes, we'd beLLer," Ie suId. "He won'L sLop IIgILIng . . . And LIunks
Ior geLLIng rId oI IIs knIIe."
"You dIdn'L Iuve Lo worrv," suId. "He wouIdn'L kIII IIs kIng."
He Lurned und Iooked uL me us LIougI Ie LIougIL mIgIL meun IL;
LIen Ie smIIed.
"or u wIIIe LIere LIougIL wus gone," Ie suId.
As we Ieuded Ior LIe dIsLrIcL oIIIce wondered wIuL BroLIer Juck
wouId suv ubouL LIe IIgIL.
"We'II Iuve Lo overpower IIm wILI orgunIzuLIon," suId.
"We'II do LIuL, uII rIgIL. BuL IL's on LIe InsIde LIuL Rus Is sLrong,"
CIIILon suId. "On LIe InsIde Ie's dungerous."
"He won'L geL on LIe InsIde," suId. "He'd consIder IImseII u
LruILor."
"No," CIIILon suId, "Ie won'L geL on LIe InsIde. DId vou Ieur Iow
Ie wus LuIkIng? DId vou Ieur wIuL Ie wus suvIng?"
" Ieurd IIm, sure," suId.
" don'L know," Ie suId. " suppose someLImes u mun Ius Lo pIunge
ouLsIde IIsLorv . . ."
"WIuL?"
"PIunge ouLsIde, Lurn IIs buck . . . OLIerwIse Ie mIgIL kIII
somebodv, go nuLs."
dIdn'L unswer. Muvbe Ie's rIgIL, LIougIL, und wus suddenIv
verv gIud Iud Iound BroLIerIood.
THE nexL mornIng IL ruIned und reucIed LIe dIsLrIcL beIore LIe
oLIers urrIved und sLood IookIng LIrougI LIe wIndow oI mv oIIIce, pusL
LIe juLLIng wuII oI u buIIdIng, und on bevond LIe monoLonous puLLern
oI ILs brIcks und morLur suw u row oI Lrees rIsIng LuII und gruceIuI In
LIe ruIn. One Lree grew cIose bv und couId see LIe ruIn sLreukIng ILs
burk und ILs sLIckv buds. Trees were rowed LIe IengLI oI LIe Iong bIock
bevond me, rIsIng LuII In drIppIng weLness ubove u serIes oI cIuLLered
buckvurds. And IL occurred Lo me LIuL cIeured oI ILs rumsIuckIe Iences
und pIunLed wILI IIowers und gruss, IL mIgIL Iorm u pIeusunL purk. And
jusL LIen u puper bug suIIed Irom u wIndow Lo mv IeIL und bursL IIke u
sIIenL grenude, scuLLerIng gurbuge InLo LIe Lrees und puncukIng Lo eurLI
wILI u soggv, exIuusLed pIop! sLurLed wILI dIsgusL, LIen LIougIL, TIe
sun wIII sIIne In LIose buckvurds some duv. A communILv cIeun-up
cumpuIgn mIgIL be worLIwIIIe Ior u sIuck seuson, uL LIuL. EvervLIIng
couIdn'L possIbIv be us excILIng us IusL nIgIL.
TurnIng buck Lo mv desk suL IucIng LIe mup now us BroLIer Turp
uppeured.
"MornIng, son, see vou uIreudv on LIe job," Ie suId.
"Good mornIng. Iuve so mucI Lo do LIuL LIougIL 'd beLLer geL
sLurLed eurIv," suId.
"You'II do uII rIgIL," Ie suId. "BuL dIdn'L come In Iere Lo Luke up
vour LIme, wunL Lo puL someLIIng on LIe wuII."
"Go rIgIL uIeud. Cun gIve vou u Iund?"
"No, cun muke IL uII rIgIL," Ie suId, cIumberIng wILI IIs Iume Ieg
upon u cIuIr LIuL suL beneuLI LIe mup und IungIng u Irume Irom LIe
ceIIIng moIdIng, sLruIgILenIng IL cureIuIIv, und geLLIng down Lo come
over besIde mv desk.
"Son, vou know wIo LIuL Is?"
"WIv, ves," suId, "IL's rederIck DougIuss."
"YessIr, LIuL's jusL wIo IL Is. You know mucI ubouL IIm?"
"NoL mucI. Mv grundIuLIer used Lo LeII me ubouL IIm LIougI."
"TIuL's enougI. He wus u greuL mun. You jusL Luke u Iook uL IIm
once In u wIIIe. You Iuve evervLIIng vou need-puper und sLuII IIke
LIuL?"
"Yes, Iuve, BroLIer Turp. And LIunks Ior LIe porLruIL oI
DougIuss."
"Don'L LIunk me, son," Ie suId Irom LIe door. "He beIongs Lo uII oI
us."
suL now IucIng LIe porLruIL oI rederIck DougIuss, IeeIIng u
sudden pIeLv, rememberIng und reIusIng Lo Ieur LIe ecIoes oI mv
grundIuLIer's voIce. TIen pIcked up LIe LeIepIone und begun cuIIIng
LIe communILv Ieuders.
TIev IeII In IIne IIke prIsoners: preucIers, poIILIcIuns, vurIous
proIessIonuIs, provIng CIIILon correcL. TIe evIcLIon IIgIL wus sucI u
drumuLIc Issue LIuL mosL oI LIe Ieuders Ieured LIuL LIeIr IoIIowers
wouId Iuve ruIIIed Lo us wILIouL LIem. sIIgILed no one, no muLLer Iow
unImporLunL; bIgsIoLs, docLors, reuI-esLuLe men und sLore-IronL
preucIers. And IL wenL so IusL und smooLIIv LIuL IL seemed noL Lo
Iuppen Lo me buL Lo someone wIo ucLuuIIv bore mv new nume.
uImosL IuugIed InLo LIe pIone wIen Ieurd LIe dIrecLor oI Men's
House uddress me wILI proIound respecL. Mv new nume wus geLLIng
uround. L's verv sLrunge, LIougIL, buL LIIngs ure so unreuI Ior LIem
normuIIv LIuL LIev beIIeve LIuL Lo cuII u LIIng bv nume Is Lo muke IL so.
And veL um wIuL LIev LIInk um . . .
OUR work wenL so weII LIuL u Iew Sunduvs IuLer we LIrew u
purude LIuL cIIncIed our IoId on LIe communILv. We worked
IeverIsIIv. And now LIe cIusIIng und conIIIcL oI mv IusL duvs uL Murv's
seemed Lo Iuve moved ouL InLo LIe sLruggIes oI LIe communILv, IeuvIng
me InwurdIv cuIm und conLroIIed. Even LIe IusLIe und busLIe oI
pIckeLIng und speecImukIng seemed Lo sLImuIuLe me Ior LIe beLLer; mv
wIIdesL Ideus puId oII.
Upon IeurIng LIuL one oI LIe unempIoved broLIers wus un ex-drIII
musLer Irom WIcIILu, Kunsus, orgunIzed u drIII Leum oI sIx-IooLers
wIose duLv IL wus Lo murcI LIrougI LIe sLreeLs sLrIkIng up spurks wILI
LIeIr IobnuIIed sIoes. On LIe duv oI LIe purude LIev drew crowds
IusLer LIun u dogIIgIL on u counLrv roud. TIe PeopIe's HoL ooL Squud,
we cuIIed LIem, und wIen LIev drIIIed Iuncv IormuLIons down SevenLI
Avenue In LIe sprIngLIme dusk LIev seL LIe sLreeLs ubIuze. TIe
communILv IuugIed und cIeered und LIe poIIce were dumIounded. BuL
LIe sIeer corn oI IL goL LIem und LIe HoL ooL Squud wenL sIuIIIIng
uIong. TIen cume LIe IIugs und bunners und LIe curds beurIng sIoguns;
und LIe squud oI drum mujoreLLes, LIe besL-IookIng gIrIs we couId IInd,
wIo prunced und LwIrIed und jusL pIuIn gIrIed In LIe enLIusIusLIc
InLeresL oI BroLIerIood. We puIIed IIILeen LIousund HurIemILes InLo
LIe sLreeL beIInd our sIoguns und murcIed down Broudwuv Lo CILv
HuII. ndeed, we were LIe LuIk oI LIe Lown.
WILI LIIs success wus pusIed Iorwurd uL u dIzzv puce. Mv nume
spreud IIke smoke In un uIrIess room. wus kepL movIng uII over LIe
pIuce. SpeecIes Iere, LIere, evervwIere, upLown und down. wroLe
newspuper urLIcIes, Ied purudes und reIIeI deIeguLIons, und so on. And
LIe BroLIerIood wus goIng ouL oI ILs wuv Lo muke mv nume promInenL.
ArLIcIes, LeIegrums und munv muIIIngs wenL ouL over mv sIgnuLure-
some oI wIIcI 'd wrILLen, buL mosL noL. wus pubIIcIzed, IdenLIIIed
wILI LIe orgunIzuLIon boLI bv word und Imuge In LIe press. On LIe wuv
Lo work one IuLe sprIng mornIng counLed IIILv greeLIngs Irom peopIe
dIdn'L know, becomIng uwure LIuL LIere were Lwo oI me: LIe oId seII
LIuL sIepL u Iew Iours u nIgIL und dreumed someLImes oI mv
grundIuLIer und BIedsoe und Brockwuv und Murv, LIe seII LIuL IIew
wILIouL wIngs und pIunged Irom greuL IeIgILs; und LIe new pubIIc seII
LIuL spoke Ior LIe BroLIerIood und wus becomIng so mucI more
ImporLunL LIun LIe oLIer LIuL seemed Lo run u IooL ruce uguInsL
mvseII.
SLIII, IIked mv work durIng LIose duvs oI cerLuInLv. kepL mv
eves wIde und eurs uIerL. TIe BroLIerIood wus u worId wILIIn u worId
und wus deLermIned Lo dIscover uII ILs secreLs und Lo udvunce us Iur us
couId. suw no IImILs, IL wus LIe one orgunIzuLIon In LIe wIoIe
counLrv In wIIcI couId reucI LIe verv Lop und meunL Lo geL LIere.
Even II IL meunL cIImbIng u mounLuIn oI words. or now Iud begun Lo
beIIeve, despILe uII LIe LuIk oI scIence uround me, LIuL LIere wus u
mugIc In spoken words. SomeLImes suL wuLcIIng LIe wuLerv pIuv oI
IIgIL upon DougIuss' porLruIL, LIInkIng Iow mugIcuI IL wus LIuL Ie Iud
LuIked IIs wuv Irom sIuverv Lo u governmenL mInIsLrv, und so swIILIv.
PerIups, LIougIL, someLIIng oI LIe kInd Is IuppenIng Lo me.
DougIuss cume norLI Lo escupe und IInd work In LIe sIIpvurds; u bIg
IeIIow In u suIIor's suIL wIo, IIke me, Iud Luken unoLIer nume. WIuL
Iud IIs Lrue nume been? WIuLever IL wus, IL wus us DougIuss LIuL Ie
becume IImseII, deIIned IImseII. And noL us u bouLwrIgIL us Ie'd
expecLed, buL us un oruLor. PerIups LIe sense oI mugIc Iuv In LIe
unexpecLed LrunsIormuLIons. "You sLurL SuuI, und end up PuuI," mv
grundIuLIer Iud oILen suId. "WIen vou're u voungun, vou SuuI, buL IeL
IIIe wIup vour Ieud u bIL und vou sLurLs Lo LrvIng Lo be PuuI-LIougI
vou sLIII SuuIs uround on LIe sIde."
No, vou couId never LeII wIere vou were goIng, LIuL wus u sure
LIIng. TIe onIv sure LIIng. Nor couId vou LeII Iow vou'd geL LIere-
LIougI wIen vou urrIved IL wus someIow rIgIL. or Iudn'L sLurLed ouL
wILI u speecI, und Iudn'L IL been u speecI LIuL won mv scIoIursIIp Lo
coIIege, wIere Iud expecLed speecImukIng Lo wIn me u pIuce wILI
BIedsoe und IuuncI me IInuIIv us u nuLIonuI Ieuder? WeII, Iud mude u
speecI, und IL Iud mude me u Ieuder, onIv noL LIe kInd Iud expecLed.
So LIuL wus LIe wuv IL wus. And no compIuInLs, LIougIL, IookIng uL LIe
mup; vou sLurLed IookIng Ior red men und vou Iound LIem-even
LIougI oI u dIIIerenL LrIbe und In u brIgIL new worId. TIe worId wus
sLrunge II vou sLopped Lo LIInk ubouL IL; sLIII IL wus u worId LIuL couId
be conLroIIed bv scIence, und LIe BroLIerIood Iud boLI scIence und
IIsLorv under conLroI.
TIus Ior one Ione sLreLcI oI LIme IIved wILI LIe InLensILv
dIspIuved bv LIose cIronIc numbers pIuvers wIo see cIues Lo LIeIr
IorLune In LIe mosL mInuLe und InsIgnIIIcunL pIenomenu: In cIouds, on
pussIng Lrucks und subwuv curs, In dreums, comIc sLrIps, LIe sIupe oI
dog-Iuck IouIed on LIe puvemenLs. wus domInuLed bv LIe uII-
embrucIng Ideu oI BroLIerIood. TIe orgunIzuLIon Iud gIven LIe worId u
new sIupe, und me u vILuI roIe. We recognIzed no Ioose ends,
evervLIIng couId be conLroIIed bv our scIence. IIe wus uII puLLern und
dIscIpIIne; und LIe beuuLv oI dIscIpIIne Is wIen IL works. And IL wus
workIng verv weII.
CIupLer 18
OnIv mv BIedsoe-LrusLee InspIred compuIsIon Lo reud uII pupers
LIuL LoucIed mv Iunds prevenLed me Irom LIrowIng LIe enveIope
usIde. L wus unsLumped und uppeured Lo be LIe IeusL ImporLunL ILem In
LIe mornIng's muII:
BroLIer,
TIIs Is udvIce Irom u IrIend wIo Ius been wuLcIIng vou cIoseIv.
Do noL go Loo IusL. Keep workIng Ior LIe peopIe buL remember LIuL vou
ure one oI us und do noL IorgeL II vou geL Loo bIg LIev wIII cuL vou down.
You ure Irom LIe SouLI und vou know LIuL LIIs Is u wIILe mun's worId.
So Luke u IrIendIv udvIce und go eusv so LIuL vou cun keep on IeIpIng
LIe coIored peopIe. TIev do noL wunL vou Lo go Loo IusL und wIII cuL vou
down II vou do. Be smurL . . .
sIoL Lo mv IeeL, LIe puper ruLLIIng poIsonousIv In mv Iunds.
WIuL dId IL meun? WIo'd send sucI u LIIng?
"BroLIer Turp!" cuIIed, reudIng uguIn LIe wuverv IInes oI u
IundwrILIng LIuL wus someIow IumIIIur. "BroLIer Turp!"
"WIuL Is IL, son?"
And IookIng up, receIved unoLIer sIock. rumed LIere In LIe
gruv, eurIv mornIng IIgIL oI LIe door, mv grundIuLIer seemed Lo Iook
Irom IIs eves. guve u quIck gusp, LIen LIere wus u sIIence In wIIcI
couId Ieur IIs wIeezIng breuLI us Ie eved me unperLurbed.
"WIuL's wrong?" Ie suId, IImpIng InLo LIe room.
reucIed Ior LIe enveIope. "WIere dId LIIs come Irom?" suId.
"WIuL Is IL?" Ie suId, LukIng IL cuImIv Irom mv Iunds.
"L's unsLumped."
"OI, ves- suw IL mvseII," Ie suId. " reckon somebodv puL IL In
LIe box IuLe IusL nIgIL. Look IL ouL wILI LIe reguIur muII. s IL
someLIIng LIuL wusn'L Ior vou?"
"No," suId, uvoIdIng IIs eves. "BuL-IL Isn'L duLed. wus
wonderIng wIen IL urrIved-WIv ure vou sLurIng uL me?"
"Becuuse Iooks Lo me IIke vou seen u gIosL. You IeeI sIck?"
"L's noLIIng," suId. "JusL u sIIgIL upseL."
TIere wus un uwkwurd sIIence. He sLood LIere und Iorced mvseII
Lo Iook uL IIs eves uguIn, IIndIng mv grundIuLIer gone, IeuvIng onIv LIe
seurcIIng cuIm. suId, "SIL down u second, BroLIer Turp. SInce vou're
Iere 'd IIke Lo usk vou u quesLIon."
"Sure," Ie suId, droppIng InLo u cIuIr. "Go 'Ieud."
"BroLIer Turp, vou geL uround und know LIe members-Iow do
LIev reuIIv IeeI ubouL me?"
He cocked IIs Ieud. "WIv, sure-LIev LIInk vou're goIng Lo muke
u reuI Ieuder -"
"BuL?"
"AIn'L no buLs, LIuL's wIuL LIev LIInk und don'L mInd LeIIIng
vou."
"BuL wIuL ubouL LIe oLIers?"
"WIuL oLIers?"
"TIe ones wIo don'L LIInk so mucI oI me?"
"TIem's LIe ones Iuven'L Ieurd ubouL, son."
"BuL musL Iuve some enemIes," suId.
"Sure, guess evervbodv Ius 'em, buL never Ieurd oI unvbodv
Iere In LIe BroLIerIood noL IIkIng vou. As Iur us IoIks up Iere Is
concerned LIev LIInk vou're IL. You Ieurd unv dIIIerenL?"
"No, buL wus wonderIng. 've been goIng uIong LukIng LIem so
mucI Ior grunLed LIuL LIougIL 'd beLLer cIeck so LIuL cun keep LIeIr
supporL."
"WeII, vou don'L Iuve Lo worrv. So Iur, neurIv evervLIIng vou Iud
unvLIIng Lo do wILI Ius Lurned ouL Lo be wIuL LIe IoIks IIke, even LIIngs
some oI 'em resIsLed. Tuke LIuL LIere," Ie suId, poInLIng Lo LIe wuII
neur mv desk.
L wus u svmboIIc posLer oI u group oI IeroIc IIgures: An AmerIcun
ndIun coupIe, represenLIng LIe dIspossessed pusL; u bIond broLIer (In
overuIIs) und u IeudIng rIsI sIsLer, represenLIng LIe dIspossessed
presenL; und BroLIer Tod CIIILon und u voung wIILe coupIe (IL Iud been
IeIL unwIse sImpIv Lo sIow CIIILon und LIe gIrI) surrounded bv u group
oI cIIIdren oI mIxed ruces, represenLIng LIe IuLure, u coIor pIoLogrupI
oI brIgIL skIn LexLure und smooLI conLrusL.
"So?" suId, sLurIng uL LIe Iegend:
"AILer LIe SLruggIe: TIe RuInbow oI AmerIcu's uLure"
"WeII, wIen vou IIrsL suggesLed IL, some oI LIe members wus
uguInsL vou."
"TIuL's cerLuInIv Lrue."
"SIo, und LIev ruIsed LIe devII ubouL LIe vouLI members goIng
InLo LIe subwuvs und sLIckIng 'em up In pIuce oI LIem consLIpuLIon uds
und LIIngs-buL do vou know wIuL LIev doIng now?"
" guess LIev're IoIdIng IL uguInsL me becuuse some oI LIe kIds
were urresLed," suId.
"HoIdIng IL uguInsL vou? HeII, LIev goIng uround bruggIng ubouL
IL. BuL wIuL wus ubouL Lo suv Is LIev LukIng LIem ruInbow pIcLures und
LuckIng 'em Lo LIeIr wuIIs 'Iong wILI 'God BIess Our Home' und LIe
ord's Pruver. TIev're cruzv ubouL IL. And sume wuv wILI LIe HoL-
ooLers und uII LIuL. You don'L Iuve Lo worrv, son. TIev mIgIL resIsL
some oI vour Ideus, buL wIen LIe deuI goes down, LIev wILI vou rIgIL
on down Lo LIe ground. TIe onIv enemIes vou IIkeIv Lo Iuve Is
somebodv on LIe ouLsIde wIo's jeuIous Lo see vou sprIng up uII oI u
sudden und sLurL Lo doIng some oI LIe LIIngs wIuL sIouId oI been done
veurs ugo. And wIuL do vou cure wIen some IoIks sLurL knockIng vou?
L's u sIgn vou geLLIng some pIuce."
"'d IIke Lo beIIeve so, BroLIer Turp," suId. "As Iong us Iuve LIe
peopIe wILI me 'II beIIeve In wIuL 'm doIng."
"TIuL's rIgIL," Ie suId. "WIen LIIngs geL rougI IL kInd oI IeIps Lo
know vou goL supporL -" HIs voIce broke oII und Ie seemed Lo sLure
down uL me, uILIougI Ie Iuced me uL eve IeveI ucrosIs LIe desk.
"WIuL Is IL, BroLIer Turp?"
"You Irom down SouLI, uIn'L vou, son?"
"Yes," suId.
He Lurned In IIs cIuIr, sIIdIng one Iund InLo IIs pockeL us Ie
resLed IIs cIIn upon LIe oLIer. " don'L reuIIv Iuve LIe words Lo suv
wIuL jusL come InLo mv Ieud, son. You see, wus down LIere Ior u Iong
LIme beIore come up Iere, und wIen dId come up LIev wus uILer me.
WIuL meun Is, Iud Lo escupe, Iud Lo come u-runnIng."
" guess dId Loo, In u wuv," suId.
"You meun LIev were uILer vou Loo?"
"NoL reuIIv, BroLIer Turp, jusL IeeI LIuL wuv."
"WeII LIIs uIn'L exucLIv LIe sume LIIng," Ie suId. "You noLIce LIIs
IImp goL?"
"Yes."
"WeII, wusn'L uIwuvs Iume, und 'm noL reuIIv now 'cuuse LIe
docLors cun'L IInd unvLIIng wrong wILI LIuL Ieg. TIev suv IL's sound us u
pIece oI sLeeI. WIuL meun Is goL LIIs IImp Irom druggIng u cIuIn."
couIdn'L see IL In IIs Iuce or Ieur IL In IIs speecI, veL knew Ie
wus neILIer IvIng nor LrvIng Lo sIock me. sIook mv Ieud.
"Sure," Ie suId. "Nobodv knows LIuL ubouL me, LIev jusL LIInk
goL rIeumuLIsm. BuL IL wus LIuL cIuIn und uILer nIneLeen veurs
Iuven'L been ubIe Lo sLop druggIng mv Ieg."
"NIneLeen veurs!"
"NIneLeen veurs, sIx monLIs und Lwo duvs. And wIuL dId wusn'L
mucI; LIuL Is, IL wusn'L mucI wIen dId IL. BuL uILer uII LIuL LIme IL
cIunged InLo someLIIng eIse und IL seemed Lo be us bud us LIev suId IL
wus. AII LIuL LIme mude IL bud. puId Ior IL wILI evervLIIng Iud buL
mv IIIe. IosL mv wIIe und mv bovs und mv pIece oI Iund. So wIuL
sLurLed ouL us un urgumenL beLween u coupIe oI men Lurned ouL Lo be u
crIme worLI nIneLeen veurs oI mv IIIe."
"WIuL on eurLI dId vou do, BroLIer Turp?"
" suId no Lo u mun wIo wunLed Lo Luke someLIIng Irom me; LIuL's
wIuL IL cosL me Ior suvIng no und even now LIe debL uIn'L IuIIv puId und
wIII never be puId In LIeIr Lerms."
A puIn LIrobbed In mv LIrouL und IeIL u kInd oI numb despuIr.
NIneLeen veurs! And Iere Ie wus LuIkIng quIeLIv Lo me und LIIs no
doubL LIe IIrsL LIme Ie'd LrIed Lo LeII unvone ubouL IL. BuL wIv me,
LIougIL, wIv pIck me?
" suId no," Ie suId. " suId IeII, no! And kepL suvIng no unLII
broke LIe cIuIn und IeIL."
"BuL Iow?"
"TIev IeL me geL cIose Lo LIe dogs once In u wIIIe, LIuL's Iow.
mude IrIends wILI LIem dogs und wuILed. Down LIere vou reuIIv Ieurn
Iow Lo wuIL. wuILed nIneLeen veurs und LIen one mornIng wIen LIe
rIver wus IIoodIng IeIL. TIev LIougIL wus one oI LIem wIo goL
drowned wIen LIe Ievee broke, buL done broke LIe cIuIn und gone.
wus sLundIng In LIe mud IoIdIng u Iong-IundIed sIoveI und usked
mvseII, Turp, cun vou muke IL? And InsIde me suId ves; uII LIuL wuLer
und mud und ruIn suId ves, und Look oII."
SuddenIv Ie guve u IuugI so guv IL sLurLIed me.
"'m LeIIIn' IL beLLer'n ever LIougIL couId," Ie suId, IIsIIng In IIs
pockeL und removIng someLIIng LIuL Iooked IIke un oIIskIn Lobucco
poucI, Irom wIIcI Ie removed un objecL wrupped In u IundkercIIeI.
"'ve been IookIng Ior Ireedom ever sInce, son. And someLImes 've
done uII rIgIL. Up Lo LIese Iere Iurd LImes dId verv weII, consIderIng
LIuL 'm u mun wIose IeuILI Is noL Loo good. BuL even wIen LImes were
besL Ior me remembered. Becuuse dIdn'L wunL Lo IorgeL LIose
nIneLeen veurs jusL kInd oI IeId on Lo LIIs us u keepsuke und u
remInder."
He wus unwruppIng LIe objecL now und wuLcIed IIs oId mun's
Iunds.
"'d IIke Lo puss IL on Lo vou, son. TIere," Ie suId, IundIng IL Lo me.
"unnv LIIng Lo gIve somebodv, buL LIInk IL's goL u Ieup oI sIgnIIvIng
wrupped up In IL und IL mIgIL IeIp vou remember wIuL we're reuIIv
IIgILIng uguInsL. don'L LIInk oI IL In Lerms oI buL Lwo words, ves und
no; buL IL sIgnIIIes u Ieup more . . ."
suw IIm pIuce IIs Iund on LIe desk. "BroLIer," Ie suId, cuIIIng
me "BroLIer" Ior LIe IIrsL LIme, " wunL vou Lo Luke IL. guess IL's u kInd
oI Iuck pIece. Anvwuv, IL's LIe one IIIed Lo geL uwuv."
Look IL In mv Iund, u LIIck, durk, oIIv pIece oI IIIed sLeeI LIuL Iud
been LwIsLed open und Iorced purLIv buck InLo pIuce, on wIIcI suw
murks LIuL mIgIL Iuve been mude bv LIe bIude oI u IuLcIeL. L wus sucI
u IInk us Iud seen on BIedsoe's desk, onIv wIIIe LIuL one Iud been
smooLI, Turp's bore LIe murks oI IusLe und vIoIence, IookIng us LIougI
IL Iud been uLLucked und conquered beIore IL sLubbornIv vIeIded.
Iooked uL IIm und sIook mv Ieud us Ie wuLcIed me InscruLubIv.
IndIng no words Lo usk IIm more ubouL IL, sIIpped LIe IInk over mv
knuckIes und sLruck IL sIurpIv uguInsL LIe desk.
BroLIer Turp cIuckIed. "Now LIere's u wuv never LIougIL oI
usIng IL," Ie suId. "L's preLLv good. L's preLLv good."
"BuL wIv do vou gIve IL Lo me, BroLIer Turp?"
"Becuuse Iuve Lo, guess. Now don'L go LrvIng Lo geL me Lo suv
wIuL cun'L. You're LIe LuIker, noL me," Ie suId, geLLIng up und IImpIng
Lowurd LIe door. "L wus Iuckv Lo me und LIInk IL mIgIL be Iuckv Lo
vou. You jusL keep IL wILI vou und Iook uL IL once In u wIIIe. Course, II
vou geL LIred oI IL, wIv, gIve IL buck."
"OI, no," cuIIed uILer IIm, " wunL IL und LIInk undersLund.
TIunks Ior gIvIng IL Lo me."
Iooked uL LIe durk bund oI meLuI uguInsL mv IIsL und dropped IL
upon LIe unonvmous IeLLer. neILIer wunLed IL nor knew wIuL Lo do
wILI IL; uILIougI LIere wus no quesLIon oI keepIng IL II Ior no oLIer
reuson LIun LIuL IeIL LIuL BroLIer Turp's gesLure In oIIerIng IL wus oI
some deepIv IeIL sIgnIIIcunce wIIcI wus compeIIed Lo respecL.
SomeLIIng, perIups, IIke u mun pussIng on Lo IIs son IIs own IuLIer's
wuLcI, wIIcI LIe son uccepLed noL becuuse Ie wunLed LIe oId-
IusIIoned LIme-pIece Ior ILseII, buL becuuse oI LIe overLones oI unsLuLed
serIousness und soIemnILv oI LIe puLernuI gesLure wIIcI uL once joIned
IIm wILI IIs uncesLors, murked u IIgI poInL oI IIs presenL, und
promIsed u concreLeness Lo IIs nebuIous und cIuoLIc IuLure. And now
remembered LIuL II Iud reLurned Iome InsLeud oI comIng norLI mv
IuLIer wouId Iuve gIven me mv grundIuLIer's oId-IusIIoned HumIILon,
wILI ILs Iong, burr-Ieuded wIndIng sLem. WeII, so mv broLIer wouId geL
IL und 'd never wunLed IL unvwuv. WIuL were LIev doIng now,
brooded, suddenIv sIck Ior Iome.
couId IeeI LIe uIr Irom LIe wIndow IoL uguInsL mv neck now us
LIrougI LIe smeII oI mornIng coIIee Ieurd u LIrouLv voIce sIngIng
wILI u mIxLure oI IuugILer und soIemnILv:
Don'L come eurIv In LIe mornIng
NeILIer In LIe IeuL oI LIe duv
BuL come In LIe sweeL cooI oI LIe
EvenIng und wusI mv sIns uwuv . . .
A wIoIe serIes oI memorIes sLurLed Lo weII up, buL LIrew LIem oII.
TIere wus no LIme Ior memorv, Ior uII ILs Imuges were oI LImes pussed.
TIere Iud been onIv u Iew mInuLes Irom LIe LIme LIuL 'd cuIIed In
BroLIer Turp ubouL LIe IeLLer und IIs IeuvIng, buL IL seemed us LIougI
'd pIunged down u weII oI veurs. Iooked cuImIv now uL LIe wrILIng
wIIcI, Ior u momenL, Iud sIuken mv LoLuI sLrucLure oI cerLuInLv, und
wus gIud LIuL BroLIer Turp Iud been LIere Lo be cuIIed ruLIer LIun
CIIILon or some oI LIe oLIers beIore wIom wouId Iuve been usIumed
oI mv punIc. nsLeud Ie'd IeIL me soberIv conIIdenL. PerIups Irom LIe
sIock oI seemIng Lo see mv grundIuLIer IookIng LIrougI Turp's eves,
perIups LIrougI LIe cuImness oI IIs voIce uIone, or perIups LIrougI
IIs sLorv und IIs IInk oI cIuIn, Ie Iud resLored mv perspecLIve.
He's rIgIL, LIougIL; wIoever senL LIe messuge Is LrvIng Lo
conIuse me; some enemv Is LrvIng Lo IuIL our progress bv desLrovIng
mv IuILI LIrougI LoucIIng upon mv oId souLIern dIsLrusL, our Ieur oI
wIILe beLruvuI. L wus us LIougI Ie Iud Ieurned oI mv experIence wILI
BIedsoe's IeLLers und wus LrvIng Lo use LIuL knowIedge Lo desLrov noL
onIv me buL LIe wIoIe BroLIerIood. YeL LIuL wus ImpossIbIe; no one
knew LIuL sLorv wIo knew me now. L wus sImpIv un obscene
coIncIdence. I onIv couId geL mv Iunds upon IIs sLupId LIrouL. Here
In LIe BroLIerIood wus LIe one pIuce In LIe counLrv wIere we were
Iree und gIven LIe greuLesL encourugemenL Lo use our ubIIILIes, und Ie
wus LrvIng Lo desLrov IL! No, IL wusn'L me Ie wus worrvIng ubouL
becomIng Loo bIg, IL wus LIe BroLIerIood. And becomIng bIg wus
exucLIv wIuL LIe BroLIerIood wunLed. Hudn'L jusL receIved orders Lo
submIL Ideus Ior orgunIzIng more peopIe? And "u wIILe mun's worId"
wus jusL wIuL LIe BroLIerIood wus uguInsL. We were dedIcuLed Lo
buIIdIng u worId oI BroLIerIood.
BuL wIo Iud senL IL-Rus LIe ExIorLer? No, IL wusn'L IIke IIm. He
wus more dIrecL und ubsoIuLeIv uguInsL unv coIIuboruLIon beLween
bIucks und wIILes. L wus someone eIse, someone more InsIdIous LIun
Rus. BuL wIo, wondered, IorcIng IL beIow mv conscIousness us
Lurned Lo LIe Lusks uL Iund.
TIe mornIng begun wILI peopIe uskIng mv udvIce on Iow Lo
secure reIIeI; members comIng In Ior InsLrucLIons Ior smuII commILLee
meeLIngs beIng IeId In corners oI LIe Iurge IuII; und Iud jusL
dIsmIssed u womun seekIng Lo Iree Ier Iusbund, wIo Iud been juIIed
Ior beuLIng Ier, wIen BroLIer WresLrum enLered LIe room. reLurned
IIs greeLIng und wuLcIed IIm euse InLo u cIuIr, IIs eves sweepIng over
mv desk-wILI uneusIness. He seemed Lo possess some kInd oI uuLIorILv
In LIe BroLIerIood, buL IIs exucL IuncLIon wus uncIeur. He wus, IeIL,
someLIIng oI u meddIer.
And IurdIv Iud Ie seLLIed IImseII wIen Ie sLured uL mv desk,
suvIng, "WIuL vou goL LIere, BroLIer?" und poInLed Lowurd u pIIe oI mv
pupers.
Ieuned sIowIv buck In mv cIuIr, IookIng IIm In LIe eve. "TIuL's
mv work," suId coIdIv, deLermIned Lo sLop unv InLerIerence Irom LIe
sLurL.
"BuL meun LIuL," Ie suId, poInLIng, IIs eves begInnIng Lo bIuze,
"LIuL LIere."
"L's work," suId, "uII mv work."
"s LIuL Loo?" Ie suId, poInLIng Lo BroLIer Turp's Ieg IInk.
"TIuL's jusL u personuI presenL, BroLIer," suId. "WIuL couId do
Ior vou?"
"TIuL uIn'L wIuL usked vou, BroLIer. WIuL Is IL?"
pIcked up LIe IInk und IeId IL Lowurd IIm, LIe meLuI oIIv und
sLrungeIv skInIIke now wILI LIe sIunLIng sun enLerIng LIe wIndow.
"WouId vou cure Lo exumIne IL, BroLIer? One oI our members wore IL
nIneLeen veurs on LIe cIuIn gung."
"HeII, no!" He recoIIed. " meun, no, LIunk vou. n IucL, BroLIer,
don'L LIInk we ougIL Lo Iuve sucI LIIngs uround!"
"You LIInk so," suId. "And jusL wIv?"
"Becuuse don'L LIInk we ougIL Lo drumuLIze our dIIIerences."
"'m noL drumuLIzIng unvLIIng, IL's mv personuI properLv LIuL
Iuppens Lo be IvIng on mv desk."
"BuL peopIe cun see IL!"
"TIuL's Lrue," suId. "BuL LIInk IL's u good remInder oI wIuL our
movemenL Is IIgILIng uguInsL."
"No, suI!" Ie suId, sIukIng IIs Ieud, "no, suI! TIuL's LIe worse
kInd oI LIIng Ior BroLIerIood-becuuse we wunL Lo muke IoIks LIInk oI
LIe LIIngs we Iuve In common. TIuL's wIuL mukes Ior BroLIerIood.
We Iuve Lo cIunge LIIs wuv we Iuve oI uIwuvs LuIkIng ubouL Iow
dIIIerenL we ure. n LIe BroLIerIood we ure uII broLIers."
wus umused. He wus obvIousIv dIsLurbed bv someLIIng deeper
LIun u need Lo IorgeL dIIIerences. eur wus In IIs eves. " never LIougIL
oI IL In jusL LIuL wuv, BroLIer," suId, dungIIng LIe Iron beLween mv
IInger und LIumb.
"BuL vou wunL Lo LIInk ubouL IL," Ie suId. "We Iuve Lo dIscIpIIne
ourseIves. TIIngs LIuL don'L muke Ior BroLIerIood Iuve Lo be rooLed
ouL. We Iuve enemIes, vou know. wuLcI evervLIIng do und suv so us
Lo be sure LIuL don'L upseL LIe BroLIerIood-'cuuse LIIs Is u
wonderIuI movemenL, BroLIer, und we Iuve Lo keep IL LIuL wuv. We
Iuve Lo wuLcI ourseIves, BroLIer. You know wIuL meun? Too oILen
we're IIubIe Lo IorgeL LIuL LIIs Is someLIIng LIuL's u prIvIIege Lo beIong
Lo. We're IIubIe Lo suv LIIngs LIuL don'L do noLIIng buL muke Ior more
mIsundersLundIng."
WIuL's drIvIng IIm, LIougIL, wIuL's uII LIIs Lo do wILI me? CouId
Ie Iuve senL me LIe noLe? DroppIng LIe Iron IIsIed LIe unonvmous
noLe Irom beneuLI LIe pIIe und IeId IL bv u corner, so LIuL LIe sIunLIng
sun sIone LIrougI LIe puge und ouLIIned LIe scruwIIng IeLLers.
wuLcIed IIm InLenLIv. He wus IeunIng upon LIe desk now, IookIng uL
LIe puge buL wILI no recognILIon In IIs eves. dropped LIe puge upon
LIe cIuIn, more dIsuppoInLed LIun reIIeved.
"BeLween vou und me, BroLIer," Ie suId, "LIere ure LIose umongsL
us wIo don'L reuIIv beIIeve In BroLIerIood."
"OI?"
"You dumn rIgIL LIev don'L! TIev're jusL In IL Lo use IL Ior LIeIr
own ends. Some cuII vou BroLIer Lo vour Iuce und LIe mInuLe vou Lurn
vour buck, vou're u bIuck son oI u bILcI! You goL Lo wuLcI 'em."
" Iuven'L encounLered unv oI LIuL, BroLIer," suId.
"You wIII. TIere's IoLs oI poIson uround. Some don'L wunL Lo sIuke
vour Iund und some don'L IIke LIe Ideu oI seeIng Loo mucI oI vou; buL
goddum IL, In LIe BroLIerIood LIev goLLu!"
Iooked uL IIm. L Iud never occurred Lo me LIuL LIe BroLIerIood
couId Iorce unvone Lo sIuke mv Iund, und LIuL Ie Iound suLIsIucLIon
LIuL IL couId wus boLI sIockIng und dIsLusLeIuI.
SuddenIv Ie IuugIed. "Yes, dummIL, LIev goLLu! Me, don'L IeL 'em
geL uwuv wILI noLIIng. I LIev goIng Lo be broLIers IeL 'em be broLIers!
OI, buL 'm IuIr," Ie suId, IIs Iuce suddenIv seII-rIgILeous. "'m IuIr.
usk mvseII everv duv, 'WIuL ure vou doIng uguInsL BroLIerIood?' und
wIen IInd IL, rooL IL ouL, burn IL ouL IIke u mun cuuLerIzIng u mud-
dog bILe. TIIs busIness oI beIng u broLIer Is u IuII-LIme job. You Iuve Lo
be pure In IeurL, und vou Iuve Lo be dIscIpIIned In bodv und mInd.
BroLIer, vou undersLund wIuL meun?"
"Yes, LIInk do," suId. "Some IoIks IeeI LIuL wuv ubouL LIeIr
reIIgIon."
"ReIIgIon?" He bIInked IIs eves. "oIks IIke me und vou Is IuII oI
dIsLrusL," Ie suId. "We been corrupLed 'LII IL's Iurd Ior some oI us Lo
beIIeve In BroLIerIood. And some even wunL revenge! TIuL's wIuL 'm
LuIkIng ubouL. We Iuve Lo rooL IL ouL! We Iuve Lo Ieurn Lo LrusL our
oLIer broLIers. AILer uII, dIdn'L LIev sLurL LIe BroLIerIood? DIdn'L LIev
come und sLreLcI ouL LIeIr Iund Lo us bIuck men und suv, 'We wunL v'uII
Ior our broLIers?' DIdn'L LIev do IL? DIdn'L LIev, now? DIdn'L LIev seL
ouL Lo orgunIze us, und IeIp IIgIL our buLLIe und uII IIke LIuL? SIo LIev
dId, und we Iuve Lo remember IL LwenLv-Iour Iours u duv. BroLIerIood.
TIuL's LIe word we goL Lo keep rIgIL In IronL oI our eves everv second.
Now LIIs brIngs me Lo wIv come Lo see vou, BroLIer."
He suL buck, IIs Iuge Iunds gruspIng IIs knees. " goL u pIun
wunL Lo LuIk over wILI vou."
"WIuL Is IL, BroLIer?" suId.
"WeII, IL's IIke LIIs. LIInk we ougIL Lo Iuve some wuv oI sIowIng
wIuL we ure. We ougIL Lo Iuve some bunners und LIIngs IIke LIuL.
SpecIuIIv Ior us bIuck broLIers."
" see," suId, becomIng InLeresLed. "BuL wIv do vou LIInk LIIs Is
ImporLunL?"
" 'Cuuse IL IeIps LIe BroLIerIood, LIuL's wIv. IrsL, II vou
remember, wIen vou wuLcI our peopIe wIen LIere's u purude or u
IuneruI, or u dunce or unvLIIng IIke LIuL, LIev uIwuvs Iuve some kInd oI
IIugs und bunners even II LIev don'L meun unvLIIng. L kInd oI mukes
LIe occusIon seem more ImporLunL IIke. L mukes peopIe sLop Iook und
IIsLen. 'WIuL's comIng oII Iere?' BuL vou know und know LIuL LIev
uIn'L none oI 'em goL no Lrue IIug-excepL muvbe Rus LIe ExIorLer, und
Ie cIuIms Ie's ELIIopIun or AIrIcun. BuL none oI us goL no Lrue IIug
'cuuse LIuL IIug don'L reuIIv beIong Lo us. TIev wunL u Lrue IIug, one
LIuL's us mucI LIeIrs us unvbodv eIse's. You know wIuL meun?"
"Yes, LIInk do," suId, rememberIng LIuL LIere wus uIwuvs LIuL
sense In me oI beIng upurL wIen LIe IIug wenL bv. L Iud been u
remInder, unLII 'd Iound LIe BroLIerIood, LIuL mv sLur wus noL veL
LIere . . .
"Sure, vou know," BroLIer WresLrum suId. "Evervbodv wunLs u
IIug. We need u IIug LIuL sLunds Ior BroLIerIood, und we need u sIgn we
cun weur."
"A sIgn?"
"You know, u pIn or u buLLon."
"You meun un embIem?"
"TIuL's IL! SomeLIIng we cun weur, u pIn or someLIIng IIke LIuL. So
LIuL wIen u BroLIer meeLs u BroLIer LIev cun know IL. TIuL wuv LIuL
LIIng wIuL Iuppened Lo BroLIer Tod CIIILon wouIdn'L Iuve Iuppened . .
."
"WIuL wouIdn'L Iuve Iuppened?"
He suL buck. "Don'L vou know ubouL IL?"
" don'L know wIuL vou meun."
"L's someLIIng LIuL's besL IorgoL ubouL," Ie suId, IeunIng cIose, IIs
bIg Iunds grIpped und sLreLcIed beIore IIm. "BuL vou see, LIere wus u
ruIIv und some IoodIums LrIed Lo breuk up LIe meeLIng, und In LIe
IIgILIng BroLIer Tod CIIILon goL IoIL Lo one oI LIe wIILe broLIers bv
mIsLuke und wus beuLIng IIm, LIougIL Ie wus one oI LIe IoodIums, Ie
suId. TIIngs IIke LIuL Is bud, BroLIer, verv bud. BuL wILI some oI LIese
embIems, LIIngs IIke LIuL wouIdn'L Iuppen."
"So LIuL ucLuuIIv Iuppened," suId.
"Sure dId. TIuL BroLIer CIIILon goes wIId wIen Ie gILs mud . . . BuL
wIuL do vou LIInk oI mv Ideu?"
" LIInk IL sIouId be brougIL Lo LIe uLLenLIon oI LIe commILLee,"
suId guurdedIv, us LIe pIone rung. "Excuse me u momenL, BroLIer,"
suId.
L wus LIe edILor oI u new pIcLure muguzIne requesLIng un
InLervIew oI "one oI our mosL successIuI voung men."
"TIuL's verv IIuLLerIng," suId, "buL 'm uIruId 'm Loo busv Ior un
InLervIew. suggesL, Iowever, LIuL vou InLervIew our vouLI Ieuder,
BroLIer Tod CIIILon; vou'II IInd IIm u mucI more InLeresLIng subjecL."
"No, no!" WresLrum suId, sIukIng IIs Ieud vIoIenLIv us LIe edILor
suId, "BuL we wunL vou. You've -"
"And vou know," InLerrupLed, "our work Is consIdered verv
conLroversIuI, cerLuInIv bv some."
"TIuL's exucLIv wIv we wunL vou. You've become IdenLIIIed wILI
LIuL conLroversv und IL's our job Lo brIng sucI subjecLs Lo LIe eves oI
our reuders."
"BuL so Ius BroLIer CIIILon," suId.
"No, sIr; vou're LIe mun und vou owe IL Lo our vouLI Lo uIIow us Lo
LeII LIem vour sLorv," Ie suId, us wuLcIed BroLIer WresLrum IeunIng
Iorwurd. "We IeeI LIuL LIev sIouId be encouruged Lo keep IIgILIng
Lowurd success. AILer uII, vou're one oI LIe IuLesL Lo IIgIL IIs wuv Lo LIe
Lop. We need uII LIe Ieroes we cun geL."
"BuL, pIeuse," IuugIed over LIe pIone, "'m no Iero und 'm Iur
Irom LIe Lop; 'm u cog In u mucIIne. We Iere In LIe BroLIerIood work
us u unIL," suId, seeIng BroLIer WresLrum nod IIs Ieud In ugreemenL.
"BuL vou cun'L geL uround LIe IucL LIuL vou're LIe IIrsL oI our
peopIe Lo uLLrucL uLLenLIon Lo IL, cun vou now?"
"BroLIer CIIILon wus ucLIve uL IeusL LIree veurs beIore me. BesIdes,
IL Isn'L LIuL sImpIe. ndIvIduuIs don'L counL Ior mucI; IL's wIuL LIe
group wunLs, wIuL LIe group does. Evervone Iere submerges IIs
personuI umbILIons Ior LIe common ucIIevemenL."
"Good! TIuL's verv good. PeopIe wunL Lo Ieur LIuL. Our peopIe
need Lo Iuve someone suv LIuL Lo LIem. WIv don'L vou IeL me send ouL
un InLervIewer? 'II Iuve Ier LIere In LwenLv mInuLes."
"You're verv InsIsLenL, buL 'm verv busv," suId.
And II BroLIer WresLrum Iudn'L been wIg-wuggIng, LrvIng Lo LeII
me wIuL Lo suv wouId Iuve reIused. nsLeud, consenLed. PerIups,
LIougIL, u IILLIe IrIendIv pubIIcILv wouIdn'L IurL. SucI u muguzIne
wouId reucI munv LImId souIs IIvIng Iur Irom LIe sound oI our voIces.
Iud onIv Lo remember Lo suv IILLIe ubouL mv pusL.
"'m sorrv Ior LIIs InLerrupLIon, BroLIer," suId, puLLIng down LIe
pIone und IookIng InLo IIs curIous eves. "'II brIng vour Ideu Lo LIe
uLLenLIon oI LIe commILLee us quIckIv us possIbIe."
sLood Lo dIscouruge IurLIer LuIk und Ie goL up, IuIrIv bursLIng Lo
conLInue.
"WeII, 've goL Lo see some oLIer broLIers mvseII," Ie suId, "'II be
seeIng vou soon."
"AnvLIme," suId, uvoIdIng IIs Iund bv pIckIng up some pupers.
GoIng ouL, Ie Lurned wILI IIs Iund on LIe door Irume, IrownIng.
"And, BroLIer, don'L IorgeL wIuL suId ubouL LIuL LIIng vou goL on vour
desk. TIIngs IIke LIuL don'L do noLIIn' buL cuuse conIusIon. TIev ougIL
Lo be kepL ouL oI sIgIL."
wus gIud Lo see IIm go. TIe Ideu oI IIs LrvIng Lo LeII me wIuL Lo
suv In u conversuLIon onIv purL oI wIIcI Ie couId Iuve Ieurd! And IL
wus obvIous LIuL Ie dIsIIked CIIILon. WeII, dIsIIked IIm. And uII LIuL
IooIIsIness und Ieur over LIe Ieg cIuIn. Turp Iud worn IL Ior nIneLeen
veurs und couId IuugI, buL LIIs bIg-
TIen IorgoL BroLIer WresLrum unLII ubouL Lwo weeks IuLer uL our
downLown IeudquurLers, wIere u meeLIng Iud been cuIIed Lo dIscuss
sLruLegv.
EVERYONE Iud urrIved beIore me. ong bencIes were urrunged
uL one sIde oI LIe room, wIIcI wus IoL und IIIIed wILI smoke. UsuuIIv
sucI meeLIngs sounded IIke u prIzeIIgIL or u smoker, buL now evervone
wus sIIenL. TIe wIILe broLIers Iooked uncomIorLubIe und some oI LIe
HurIem broLIers beIIIgerenL. Nor dId LIev Ieuve me LIme Lo LIInk ubouL
IL. No sooner Iud upoIogIzed Ior mv IuLeness LIun BroLIer Juck sLruck
LIe LubIe wILI IIs guveI, uddressIng IIs IIrsL remurks Lo me.
"BroLIer, LIere seems Lo be u serIous mIsundersLundIng umong
some oI LIe broLIers concernIng vour work und recenL conducL," Ie
suId.
sLured uL IIm bIunkIv, mv mInd gropIng Ior connecLIons. "'m
sorrv, BroLIer Juck," suId, "buL don'L undersLund. You meun LIere's
someLIIng wrong wILI mv work?"
"So IL seems," Ie suId, IIs Iuce compIeLeIv neuLruI. "CerLuIn
cIurges Iuve jusL been mude . . ."
"CIurges? Huve IuIIed Lo currv ouL some dIrecLIve?"
"AbouL LIuL LIere seems Lo be some doubL. BuL we'd beLLer IeL
BroLIer WresLrum speuk oI LIIs," Ie suId.
"BroLIer WresLrum!"
wus sIocked. He Iudn'L been uround sInce our LuIk, und Iooked
ucross LIe LubIe InLo IIs evusIve Iuce, seeIng IIm sLund wILI u sIoucI, u
roIIed puper proLrudIng Irom IIs pockeL.
"Yes, BroLIers," Ie suId, " brougIL cIurges, mucI us IuLed Lo
Iuve Lo do IL. BuL been wuLcIIng LIe wuv LIIngs Iuve been goIng und
've decIded LIuL II LIev don'L sLop soon, LIIs broLIer Is goIng Lo muke u
IooI ouL oI LIe BroLIerIood!"
TIere were some sounds oI proLesL.
"Yes, suId IL und meun IL! TIIs Iere broLIer consLILuLes one oI
LIe greuLesL dungers ever conIronLed bv our movemenL."
Iooked uL BroLIer Juck; IIs eves were spurkIIng. seemed Lo see
Lruces oI u smIIe us Ie scrIbbIed someLIIng on u pud. wus becomIng
verv IoL.
"Be more specIIIc, BroLIer," BroLIer GurneLL, u wIILe broLIer,
suId. "TIese ure serIous cIurges und we uII know LIuL LIe broLIer's
work Ius been spIendId. Be specIIIc."
"SIo, 'II be specIIIc," WresLrum boomed, suddenIv wIIppIng LIe
puper Irom IIs pockeL, unroIIIng IL und LIrowIng IL on LIe LubIe. "TIIs
Iere's wIuL meun!"
Look u sLep Iorwurd; IL wus u porLruIL oI me IookIng ouL Irom u
muguzIne puge.
"WIere dId LIuL come Irom?" suId.
"TIuL's IL," Ie boomed. "Muke ouL IIke vou never seen IL."
"BuL Iuven'L," suId. " reuIIv Iuven'L."
"Don'L IIe Lo LIese wIILe broLIers. Don'L IIe!"
"'m noL IvIng. never suw IL beIore In mv IIIe. BuL suppose Iud,
wIuL's wrong wILI IL?"
"You know wIuL's wrong!" WresLrum suId.
"ook, don'L know unvLIIng. WIuL's on vour mInd? You Iuve us
uII Iere, so II vou Iuve unvLIIng Lo suv, pIeuse geL IL over wILI."
"BroLIers, LIIs mun Is u-u-opporLunIsL! AII vou goL Lo do Is reud
LIIs urLIcIe Lo see. cIurge LIIs mun wILI usIng LIe BroLIerIood
movemenL Lo udvunce IIs own seIIIsI InLeresLs."
"ArLIcIe?" TIen remembered LIe InLervIew wIIcI Iud
IorgoLLen. meL LIe eves oI LIe oLIers us LIev Iooked Irom me Lo
WresLrum.
"And wIuL does IL suv ubouL us?" BroLIer Juck suId, poInLIng Lo
LIe muguzIne.
"Suv?" WresLrum suId. "L doesn'L suv unvLIIng. L's uII ubouL IIm.
WIuL Ie LIInks, wIuL Ie does; wIuL Ie's goIng Lo do. NoL u word ubouL
LIe resL oI us wIo's been buIIdIng LIe movemenL beIore Ie wus ever
Ieurd oI. ook uL IL, II vou LIInk 'm IvIng. ook uL IL!"
BroLIer Juck Lurned Lo me. "s LIIs Lrue?"
" Iuven'L reud IL," suId. " Iud IorgoLLen LIuL wus InLervIewed."
"BuL vou remember IL now?" BroLIer Juck suId.
"Yes, do now. And Ie Iuppened Lo be In LIe oIIIce wIen LIe
uppoInLmenL wus mude."
TIev were sIIenL.
"HeII, BroLIer Juck," WresLrum suId, "IL's rIgIL Iere In bIuck und
wIILe. He's LrvIng Lo gIve peopIe LIe Ideu LIuL Ie's LIe wIoIe
BroLIerIood movemenL."
"'m doIng noLIIng oI LIe sorL. LrIed Lo geL LIe edILor Lo InLervIew
BroLIer Tod CIIILon, vou know LIuL. SInce vou know so IILLIe ubouL wIuL
'm doIng, wIv noL LeII LIe broLIers wIuL vou're up Lo."
"'m exposIng u doubIe-deuIer, LIuL's wIuL 'm doIng. 'm exposIng
vou. BroLIers, LIIs mun Is u pure dee opporLunIsL!"
"AII rIgIL," suId, "expose me II vou cun, buL sLop LIe sIunder."
"'II expose vou, uII rIgIL," Ie suId, sLIckIng ouL IIs cIIn. "'m goIng
Lo. He's doIng evervLIIng suId, BroLIers. And 'II LeII vou someLIIng
eIse-Ie's LrvIng Lo sew LIIngs up so LIuL LIe members won'L move
unIess Ie LeIIs LIem Lo. ook uL u Iew weeks ugo wIen Ie wus oII In
PIIIIv. We LrIed Lo geL u ruIIv goIng und wIuL Iuppens? OnIv ubouL Lwo
Iundred peopIe Lurned ouL. He's LrvIng Lo LruIn LIem so LIev won'L
IIsLen Lo no one buL IIm."
"BuL, BroLIer, dIdn'L we decIde LIuL LIe uppeuI Iud been
ImproperIv pIrused?" u broLIer InLerrupLed.
"YeuI, know, buL LIuL wusn'L IL . . ."
"BuL LIe commILLee unuIvzed LIe uppeuI und -"
" know, BroLIers, und don'L uIm Lo dIspuLe LIe commILLee. BuL,
BroLIers, IL jusL seems LIuL wuv 'cuuse vou don'L know LIIs mun. He
works In LIe durk, Ie's goL some kInd oI pIoL . . ."
"WIuL kInd oI pIoL?" one oI LIe broLIers suId, IeunIng ucross LIe
LubIe.
"JusL u pIoL," WresLrum suId. "He uIms Lo conLroI LIe movemenL
upLown. He wunLs Lo be u dIcLuLor!"
TIe room wus sIIenL excepL Ior LIe IummIng oI Iuns. TIev Iooked
uL IIm wILI u new concern.
"TIese ure verv serIous cIurges, BroLIer," Lwo broLIers suId In
unIson.
"SerIous? know LIev're serIous. TIuL's Iow come brougIL LIem.
TIIs opporLunIsL LIInks LIuL becuuse Ie's goL u IILLIe more educuLIon
Ie's beLLer LIun unvbodv eIse. He's wIuL BroLIer Juck cuIIs u peLLv-
peLLv IndIvIduuIIsL!"
He sLruck LIe conIerence LubIe wILI IIs IIsL, IIs eves sIowIng
smuII und round In IIs LuuL Iuce. wunLed Lo puncI LIuL Iuce. L no
Ionger seemed reuI, buL u musk beIInd wIIcI LIe reuI Iuce wus
probubIv IuugIIng, boLI uL me und uL LIe oLIers. or Ie couIdn'L beIIeve
wIuL Ie Iud suId. L jusL wusn'L possIbIe. He wus LIe pIoLLer und Irom
LIe serIous Iooks on LIe commILLee's Iuces Ie wus geLLIng uwuv wILI IL.
Now severuI broLIers sLurLed Lo speuk uL once, und BroLIer Juck
knocked Ior order.
"BroLIers, pIeuse!" BroLIer Juck suId. "One uL u LIme. WIuL do vou
know ubouL LIIs urLIcIe?" Ie suId Lo me.
"NoL verv mucI," suId. "TIe edILor oI LIe muguzIne cuIIed Lo suv
Ie wus sendIng u reporLer up Ior un InLervIew. TIe reporLer usked u Iew
quesLIons und Look u Iew pIcLures wILI u IILLIe cumeru. TIuL's uII
know."
"DId vou gIve LIe reporLer u prepured IundouL?"
" guve Ier noLIIng excepL u Iew pIeces oI our oIIIcIuI IILeruLure.
LoId Ier neILIer wIuL Lo usk me nor wIuL Lo wrILe. nuLuruIIv LrIed Lo
co-operuLe. I un urLIcIe ubouL me wouId IeIp muke IrIends Ior LIe
movemenL IeIL IL wus mv duLv."
"BroLIers, LIIs LIIng wus urrunged," WresLrum suId. " LeII vou
LIIs opporLunIsL Iud LIuL reporLer senL up LIere. He Iud Ier senL up
und Ie LoId Ier wIuL Lo wrILe."
"TIuL's u conLempLIbIe IIe," suId. "You were presenL und vou
know LrIed Lo geL LIem Lo InLervIew BroLIer CIIILon!"
"WIo's u IIe?"
"You're u IIur und u IuL-mouLIed scoundreI. You're u IIur und no
broLIer oI mIne."
"Now Ie's cuIIIng me numes. BroLIers, vou Ieurd IIm."
"eL's noL Iose our Lempers," BroLIer Juck suId cuImIv. "BroLIer
WresLrum, vou've mude serIous cIurges. Cun vou prove LIem?"
" cun prove LIem. AII vou Iuve Lo do Is reud LIe muguzIne und
prove LIem Ior vourseII;"
"L wIII be reud. And wIuL eIse?"
"AII vou Iuve Lo do Is IIsLen Lo IoIks In HurIem. AII LIev LuIk ubouL
Is IIm. Never noLIIng ubouL wIuL LIe resL oI us do. LeII vou, BroLIers,
LIIs mun consLILuLes u dunger Lo LIe peopIe oI HurIem. He ougIL Lo be
LIrown ouL!"
"TIuL Is Ior LIe commILLee Lo decIde," BroLIer Juck suId. TIen Lo
me, "And wIuL Iuve vou Lo suv In vour deIense, BroLIer?"
"n mv deIense?" suId, "NoLIIng. Iuven'L unvLIIng Lo deIend.
've LrIed Lo do mv work und II LIe broLIers don'L know LIuL, LIen IL's
Loo IuLe Lo LeII LIem. don'L know wIuL's beIInd LIIs, buL Iuven'L
goLLen uround Lo conLroIIIng muguzIne wrILers. And dIdn'L reuIIze LIuL
wus comIng Lo sLund LrIuI eILIer."
"TIIs wus noL InLended us u LrIuI," BroLIer Juck suId. "I vou're
ever puL on LrIuI, und Iope vou'II never be, vou'II know IL. MeunLIme,
sInce LIIs Is un emergencv LIe commILLee usks LIuL vou Ieuve LIe room
wIIIe we reud und dIscuss LIe quesLIoned InLervIew."
IeIL LIe room und wenL InLo u vucunL oIIIce, boIIIng wILI unger
und dIsgusL. WresLrum Iud snuLcIed me buck Lo LIe SouLI In LIe mIdsL
oI one oI LIe Lop BroLIerIood commILLees und IeIL nuked. couId Iuve
LIroLLIed IIm-IorcIng me Lo Luke purL In u cIIIdIsI dIspuLe beIore LIe
oLIers. YeL Iud Lo IIgIL IIm us couId, In Lerms Ie undersLood, even
LIougI we sounded IIke cIurucLers In u ruzor-sIIngIng vuudevIIIe skIL.
PerIups sIouId menLIon LIe unonvmous noLe, excepL LIuL someone
mIgIL Luke IL Lo meun LIuL dIdn'L Iuve LIe IuII supporL oI mv dIsLrIcL.
I CIIILon were Iere, Ie'd know Iow Lo IundIe LIIs cIown. Were LIev
LukIng IIm serIousIv jusL becuuse Ie wus bIuck? WIuL wus wrong wILI
LIem unvwuv, couIdn'L LIev see LIuL LIev were deuIIng wILI u cIown?
BuL wouId Iuve gone Lo pIeces Iud LIev IuugIed or even smIIed,
LIougIL, Ior LIev couIdn'L IuugI uL IIm wILIouL IuugIIng uL me us weII .
. . YeL II LIev Iud IuugIed, IL wouId Iuve been Iess unreuI-WIere LIe
IeII um ?
"You cun come In now," u broLIer cuIIed Lo me; und wenL ouL Lo
Ieur LIeIr decIsIon.
"WeII," BroLIer Juck suId, "we've uII reud LIe urLIcIe, BroLIer, und
we're Iuppv Lo reporL LIuL we Iound IL IurmIess enougI. True, IL wouId
Iuve been beLLer Iud more worduge been gIven Lo oLIer members oI
LIe HurIem dIsLrIcL. BuL we Iound no evIdence LIuL vou Iud unvLIIng Lo
do wILI LIuL. BroLIer WresLrum wus mIsLuken."
HIs bIund munner und LIe knowIedge LIuL LIev Iud wusLed LIme
Lo see LIe LruLI reIeused LIe unger wILIIn me.
"'d suv LIuL Ie wus crImInuIIv mIsLuken," suId.
"NoL crImInuI, over-zeuIous," Ie suId.
"To me IL seems boLI crImInuI und over-zeuIous," suId.
"No, BroLIer, noL crImInuI."
"BuL Ie uLLucked mv repuLuLIon . . ."
BroLIer Juck smIIed. "OnIv becuuse Ie wus sIncere, BroLIer. He
wus LIInkIng oI LIe good oI LIe BroLIerIood."
"BuL wIv sIunder me? don'L IoIIow vou, BroLIer Juck. 'm no
enemv, us Ie weII knows. 'm u broLIer Loo," suId, seeIng IIs smIIe.
"TIe BroLIerIood Ius munv enemIes, und we musL noL be Loo
IursI wILI broLIerIv mIsLukes."
TIen suw LIe IooIIsI, ubusIed expressIon on WresLrum's Iuce
und reIuxed.
"Verv weII, BroLIer Juck," suId. " suppose sIouId be gIud vou
Iound me InnocenL -"
"ConcernIng LIe muguzIne urLIcIe," Ie suId, sLubbIng LIe uIr wILI
IIs IInger.
SomeLIIng Lensed In LIe buck oI mv Ieud; goL Lo mv IeeL.
"ConcernIng LIe urLIcIe! You meun Lo suv LIuL vou beIIeve LIuL
oLIer pIpe-dreum? s evervone reudIng DIck Trucv LIese duvs?"
"TIIs Is no muLLer oI DIck Trucv," Ie snupped. "TIe movemenL Ius
munv enemIes."
"So now Iuve become un enemv," suId. "WIuL's Iuppened Lo
evervbodv? You ucL us LIougI none oI vou Ius unv conLucL wILI me uL
uII."
Juck Iooked uL LIe LubIe. "Are vou InLeresLed In our decIsIon,
BroLIer?"
"OI, ves," suId. "Yes, um. 'm InLeresLed In uII munner oI odd
beIuvIor. WIo wouIdn'L be, wIen one wIId mun cun muke u roomIuI oI
wIuL 'd come Lo regurd us some oI LIe besL mInds In LIe counLrv Luke
IIm serIousIv. CerLuInIv, 'm InLeresLed. OLIerwIse 'd ucL IIke u
sensIbIe mun und run ouL oI Iere!"
TIere were sounds oI proLesL und BroLIer Juck, IIs Iuce red,
rupped Ior order.
"PerIups sIouId uddress u Iew words Lo LIe broLIer," BroLIer
MucAIee suId.
"Go uIeud," BroLIer Juck suId LIIckIv.
"BroLIer, we undersLund Iow vou IeeI," BroLIer MucAIee suId,
"buL vou musL undersLund LIuL LIe movemenL Ius munv enemIes. TIIs
Is verv Lrue, und we ure Iorced Lo LIInk oI LIe orgunIzuLIon uL LIe
expense oI our personuI IeeIIngs. TIe BroLIerIood Is bIgger LIun uII oI
us. None oI us us IndIvIduuIs counL wIen ILs suIeLv Is quesLIoned. And
be ussured LIuL none oI us Iuve unvLIIng buL goodwIII Lowurd vou
personuIIv. Your work Ius been spIendId. TIIs Is sImpIv u muLLer oI LIe
suIeLv oI LIe orgunIzuLIon, und IL Is our responsIbIIILv Lo muke u
LIorougI InvesLIguLIon oI uII sucI cIurges."
IeIL suddenIv empLv; LIere wus u IogIc In wIuL Ie suId wIIcI IeIL
compeIIed Lo uccepL. TIev were wrong, buL LIev Iud LIe obIIguLIon Lo
dIscover LIeIr mIsLuke. eL LIem go uIeud, LIev'd IInd LIuL none oI LIe
cIurges were Lrue und 'd be vIndIcuLed. WIuL wus uII LIIs obsessIon
wILI enemIes unvwuv? Iooked InLo LIeIr smoke-wusIed Iuces; noL
sInce LIe begInnIng Iud Iuced sucI serIous doubLs. Up Lo now Iud
IeIL u wIoIeness ubouL mv work und dIrecLIon sucI us 'd never known;
noL even In mv mIsLuken coIIege duvs. BroLIerIood wus someLIIng Lo
wIIcI men couId gIve LIemseIves compIeLeIv; LIuL wus ILs sLrengLI und
mv sLrengLI, und IL wus LIIs sense oI wIoIeness LIuL guurunLeed LIuL IL
wouId cIunge LIe course oI IIsLorv. TIIs Iud beIIeved wILI uII mv
beIng, buL now, LIougI sLIII InwurdIv uIIIrmIng LIuL beIIeI, IeIL u
bIIgILIng IurL wIIcI prevenLed me Irom LrvIng IurLIer Lo deIend
mvseII. sLood LIere sIIenLIv, wuILIng LIeIr decIsIon. Someone
drummed IIs IIngers uguInsL LIe LubIe Lop. Ieurd LIe drv-IeuI rusLIe oI
onIonskIn pupers.
"Be ussured LIuL vou cun depend upon LIe IuIrness und wIsdom oI
LIe commILLee," BroLIer TobILL's voIce drIILed Irom LIe end oI LIe LubIe,
buL LIere wus smoke beLween us und couId bureIv see IIs Iuce.
"TIe commILLee Ius decIded," BroLIer Juck begun crIspIv, "LIuL
unLII uII cIurges Iuve been cIeured, vou ure Lo Iuve LIe cIoIce oI
becomIng InucLIve In HurIem, or uccepLIng un ussIgnmenL downLown.
n LIe IuLLer cuse vou ure Lo wInd up vour presenL ussIgnmenL
ImmedIuLeIv."
IeIL weuk In mv Iegs. "You meun um Lo gIve up mv work?"
"UnIess vou cIoose Lo serve LIe movemenL eIsewIere."
"BuL cun'L vou see -" suId, IookIng Irom Iuce Lo Iuce und seeIng
LIe bIunk IInuIILv In LIeIr eves.
"Your ussIgnmenL, sIouId vou decIde Lo remuIn ucLIve," BroLIer
Juck suId, reucIIng Ior IIs guveI, "Is Lo IecLure downLown on LIe
Womun QuesLIon."
SuddenIv IeIL us LIougI Iud been spun IIke u Lop.
"TIe wIuL!"
"TIe Womun QuesLIon. Mv pumpIIeL, 'On LIe Womun QuesLIon In
LIe UnILed SLuLes,' wIII be vour guIde. And now, BroLIers," Ie suId, IIs
eves sweepIng uround LIe LubIe, "LIe meeLIng Is udjourned."
sLood LIere, IeurIng LIe ruppIng oI IIs guveI ecIoIng In mv eurs,
LIInkIng LIe womun quesLIon und seurcIIng LIeIr Iuces Ior sIgns oI
umusemenL, IIsLenIng Lo LIeIr voIces us LIev IIIed ouL InLo LIe IuII Ior
LIe sIIgILesL sound oI suppressed IuugILer, sLood LIere IIgILIng LIe
sense LIuL Iud jusL been mude LIe buLL oI un ouLrugeous joke und uII
LIe more so sInce LIeIr Iuces reveuIed no uwureness.
Mv mInd IougIL desperuLeIv Ior uccepLunce. NoLIIng wouId
cIunge muLLers. TIev wouId sIIIL me und InvesLIguLe und , sLIII
beIIevIng, sLIII bendIng Lo dIscIpIIne, wouId Iuve Lo uccepL LIeIr
decIsIon. Now wus cerLuInIv no LIme Ior InucLIvILv; noL jusL wIen wus
begInnIng Lo upproucI some oI LIe uspecLs oI LIe orgunIzuLIon ubouL
wIIcI knew noLIIng (oI IIgIer commILLees und LIe Ieuders wIo never
uppeured, oI LIe svmpuLIIzers und uIIIes In groups LIuL seemed Iur
removed Irom our concerns), noL uL u LIme wIen uII LIe secreLs oI
power und uuLIorILv sLIII sIrouded Irom me In mvsLerv uppeured on
LIe wuv Lowurd reveIuLIon. No, despILe mv unger und dIsgusL, mv
umbILIons were Loo greuL Lo surrender so eusIIv. And wIv sIouId
resLrIcL mvseII, segreguLe mvseII? wus u spokesmun-wIv sIouIdn'L
speuk ubouL women, or unv oLIer subjecL? NoLIIng Iuv ouLsIde LIe
scIeme oI our IdeoIogv, LIere wus u poIIcv on evervLIIng, und mv muIn
concern wus Lo work mv wuv uIeud In LIe movemenL.
IeIL LIe buIIdIng sLIII IeeIIng us LIougI Iud been vIoIenLIv spun
buL wILI opLImIsm growIng. BeIng removed Irom HurIem wus u sIock
buL one wIIcI wouId IurL LIem us mucI us me, Ior Iud Ieurned LIuL
LIe cIue Lo wIuL HurIem wunLed wus wIuL wunLed; und mv vuIue Lo
LIe BroLIerIood wus no dIIIerenL Irom LIe vuIue Lo me oI mv mosL
useIuI conLucL: IL depended upon mv compIeLe Irunkness und IonesLv
In sLuLIng LIe communILv's Iopes und IuLes, Ieurs und desIres. One
spoke Lo LIe commILLee us weII us Lo LIe communILv. No doubL IL wouId
work mucI LIe sume downLown. TIe new ussIgnmenL wus u cIuIIenge
und un opporLunILv Ior LesLIng Iow mucI oI wIuL Iuppened In HurIem
wus due Lo mv own eIIorLs und Iow mucI Lo LIe sIeer eugerness oI LIe
peopIe LIemseIves. And, uILer uII, LoId mvseII, LIe ussIgnmenL wus uIso
prooI oI LIe commILLee's goodwIII. or bv seIecLIng me Lo speuk wILI ILs
uuLIorILv on u subjecL wIIcI eIsewIere In our socIeLv 'd Iuve Iound
Luboo, weren'L LIev reuIIIrmIng LIeIr beIIeI boLI In me und In LIe
prIncIpIes oI BroLIerIood, provIng LIuL LIev drew no IInes even wIen IL
cume Lo women? TIev Iud Lo InvesLIguLe LIe cIurges uguInsL me, buL
LIe ussIgnmenL wus LIeIr unsenLImenLuI uIIIrmuLIon LIuL LIeIr beIIeI In
me wus unbroken. sIIvered In LIe IoL sLreeL. Iudn'L uIIowed LIe Ideu
Lo Luke concreLe Iorm In mv mInd, buL Ior u momenL Iud uImosL
uIIowed un oId, souLIern buckwurdness wIIcI Iud LIougIL deud Lo
wreck mv cureer.
euvIng HurIem wus noL wILIouL ILs regreLs, Iowever, und
couIdn'L brIng mvseII Lo suv good-bve Lo unvone, noL even Lo BroLIer
Turp or CIIILon-noL Lo menLIon LIe oLIers upon wIom depended Ior
InIormuLIon concernIng LIe IowesL groups In LIe communILv. sImpIv
sIIpped mv pupers InLo mv brIeI cuse und IeIL us LIougI goIng
downLown Ior u meeLIng.
CIupLer 1
wenL Lo mv IIrsL IecLure wILI u sense oI excILemenL. TIe LIeme
wus u sure-IIre guurunLee oI uudIence InLeresL und LIe resL wus up Lo
me. I onIv were u IooL LuIIer und u Iundred pounds IeuvIer, couId
sImpIv sLund beIore LIem wILI u sIgn ucross mv cIesL, sLuLIng I KNOW
A ABOUT THEM, und LIev'd be us uwed us LIougI were LIe
orIgInuI boogev mun-someIow reIormed und domesLIcuLed. 'd no
more Iuve Lo speuk LIun PuuI Robeson Iud Lo ucL; LIev'd sImpIv LIrIII
uL LIe sIgIL oI me.
And IL wenL weII enougI; LIev mude IL u success LIrougI LIeIr own
enLIusIusm, und LIe burruge oI quesLIons uILerwurds IeIL no doubLs In
mv mInd. L wus onIv uILer LIe meeLIng wus breukIng up LIuL LIere
cume LIe deveIopmenLs wIIcI even mv voIuLIIe suspIcIons Iudn'L
uIIowed me Lo Ioresee. wus excIungIng greeLIngs wILI LIe uudIence
wIen sIe uppeured, LIe kInd oI womun wIo gIows us LIougI
conscIousIv ucLIng u svmboIIc roIe oI IIIe und IemInIne IerLIIILv. Her
probIem, sIe suId, Iud Lo do wILI cerLuIn uspecLs oI our IdeoIogv.
"L's ruLIer InvoIved, reuIIv," sIe suId wILI concern, "und wIIIe
sIouIdn'L cure Lo Luke up vour LIme, Iuve u IeeIIng LIuL vou -"
"OI, noL uL uII," suId, guIdIng Ier uwuv Irom LIe oLIers Lo sLund
neur u purLIv uncoIIed IIreIose IungIng besIde LIe enLrunce, "noL uL
uII."
"BuL, BroLIer," sIe suId, "IL's reuIIv so IuLe und vou musL be LIred.
Mv probIem couId wuIL unLII some oLIer LIme . . ."
"'m noL LIuL LIred," suId. "And II LIere's someLIIng boLIerIng
vou, IL's mv duLv Lo do wIuL cun Lo cIeur IL up."
"BuL IL's quILe IuLe," sIe suId. "PerIups some evenIng wIen vou're
noL busv vou'II drop In Lo see us. TIen we couId LuIk uL greuLer IengLI.
UnIess, oI course. . ."
"UnIess?"
"UnIess," sIe smIIed, " cun Induce vou Lo sLop bv LIIs evenIng.
mIgIL udd LIuL serve u IuIr cup oI coIIee."
"TIen 'm uL vour servIce," suId, pusIIng open LIe door.
Her upurLmenL wus IocuLed In one oI LIe beLLer secLIons oI LIe cILv,
und musL Iuve reveuIed mv surprIse upon enLerIng LIe spucIous IIvIng
room.
"You cun see, BroLIer"-LIe gIow sIe guve LIe word wus
dIsLurbIng-"IL Is reuIIv LIe spIrILuuI vuIues oI BroLIerIood LIuL InLeresL
me. TIrougI no eIIorL oI mv own, Iuve economIc securILv und IeIsure,
buL wIuL Is LIuL, reuIIv, wIen so mucI Is wrong wILI LIe worId? meun
wIen LIere Is no spIrILuuI or emoLIonuI securILv, und no jusLIce?"
SIe wus sIIppIng ouL oI Ier couL now, IookIng eurnesLIv InLo mv
Iuce, und LIougIL, s sIe u SuIvuLIonIsL, u PurILun-wILI-reverse-
EngIIsI?-rememberIng BroLIer Juck's prIvuLe descrIpLIon oI weuILIv
members wIo, Ie suId, sougIL poIILIcuI suIvuLIon bv conLrIbuLIng
IInuncIuIIv Lo LIe BroLIerIood. SIe wus goIng u IILLIe IusL Ior me und
Iooked uL Ier gruveIv.
" cun see LIuL vou've LIougIL deepIv ubouL LIIs LIIng," suId.
"'ve LrIed," sIe suId, "und IL's mosL perpIexIng-BuL muke vourseII
comIorLubIe wIIIe puL uwuv mv LIIngs."
SIe wus u smuII, deIIcuLeIv pIump womun wILI ruven IuIr In wIIcI
u LIIn sLreuk oI wIILe Iud begun uImosL ImpercepLIbIv Lo sIow, und
wIen sIe reuppeured In LIe rIcI red oI u IosLess gown sIe wus so
sLrIkIng LIuL Iud Lo uverL mv somewIuL sLurLIed eves.
"WIuL u beuuLIIuI room vou Iuve Iere," suId, IookIng ucross LIe
rIcI cIerrv gIow oI IurnILure Lo see u IIIe-sIzed puInLIng oI u nude, u
pInk RenoIr. OLIer cunvuses were Iung Iere und LIere, und LIe
spucIous wuIIs seemed Lo IIusI uIIve wILI wurm, pure coIor. WIuL does
one suv Lo uII LIIs? LIougIL, IookIng uL un ubsLrucL IIsI oI poIIsIed
bruss mounLed on u pIece oI ebonv.
"'m gIud vou IInd IL pIeusunL, BroLIer," sIe suId. "We IIke IL
ourseIves, LIougI musL suv LIuL HuberL IInds so IILLIe LIme Lo enjov IL.
He's mucI Loo busv."
"HuberL?" suId.
"Mv Iusbund. UnIorLunuLeIv Ie Iud Lo Ieuve. He wouId Iuve Ioved
Lo've meL vou, buL LIen Ie's uIwuvs dusIIng oII. BusIness, vou know."
" suppose IL's unuvoIdubIe," suId wILI sudden dIscomIorL.
"Yes, IL Is," sIe suId. "BuL we're goIng Lo dIscuss BroLIerIood und
IdeoIogv, uren'L we?"
And LIere wus someLIIng ubouL Ier voIce und Ier smIIe LIuL guve
me u sense oI boLI comIorL und excILemenL. L wus noL mereIv LIe
buckground oI weuILI und grucIous IIvIng, Lo wIIcI wus uIIen, buL
sImpIv LIe beIng LIere wILI Ier und LIe sensed possIbIIILv oI u
IeIgILened communIcuLIon; us LIougI LIe dIscordunLIv InvIsIbIe und
LIe conspIcuousIv enIgmuLIc were reucIIng u deIIcuLeIv buIunced
Iurmonv. SIe's rIcI buL Iumun, LIougIL, wuLcIIng LIe smooLI pIuv oI
Ier reIuxed Iunds.
"TIere ure so munv uspecLs Lo LIe movemenL," suId. "JusL wIere
sIuII we sLurL? PerIups IL's someLIIng LIuL 'm unubIe Lo IundIe."
"OI, IL's noLIIng LIuL proIound," sIe suId. "'m sure vou'II
sLruIgILen ouL mv IILLIe IdeoIogIcuI LwIsLs und Lurns. BuL sIL Iere on LIe
soIu, BroLIer; IL's more comIorLubIe."
suL, seeIng Ier go Lowurd u door, LIe LruIn oI Ier gown LruIIIng
sensuousIv over LIe orIenLuI curpeL. TIen sIe Lurned und smIIed.
"PerIups vou'd preIer wIne or mIIk InsLeud oI coIIee?"
"WIne, LIunk vou," suId, IIndIng LIe Ideu oI mIIk sLrungeIv
repuIsIve. TIIs Isn'L uL uII wIuL expecLed, LIougIL. SIe reLurned wILI
u Lruv IoIdIng Lwo gIusses und u decunLer, pIucIng LIem beIore us on u
Iow cockLuII LubIe, und couId Ieur LIe wIne LrIckIe musIcuIIv InLo LIe
gIusses, one oI wIIcI sIe pIuced In IronL oI me.
"Here's Lo LIe movemenL," sIe suId, ruIsIng Ier gIuss wILI smIIIng
eves.
"To LIe movemenL," suId.
"And Lo BroLIerIood."
"And Lo BroLIerIood."
"TIIs Is verv nIce," suId, seeIng Ier neurIv cIosed eves, Ier cIIn
LIILIng upwurd, Lowurd me, "buL jusL wIuL pIuse oI our IdeoIogv sIouId
we dIscuss?"
"AII oI IL," sIe suId. " wIsI Lo embruce LIe wIoIe oI IL. IIe Is so
LerrIbIv empLv und dIsorgunIzed wILIouL IL. sIncereIv beIIeve LIuL onIv
BroLIerIood oIIers unv Iope oI mukIng IIIe worLI IIvIng uguIn-OI,
know LIuL IL's Loo vusL u pIIIosopIv Lo grusp ImmedIuLeIv, us IL were;
sLIII, IL's so vILuI und uIIve LIuL one geLs LIe IeeIIng LIuL one sIouId uL
IeusL muke LIe Lrv. Don'L vou ugree?"
"WeII, ves," suId. "L's LIe mosL meunIngIuI LIIng LIuL know."
"OI, 'm so pIeused Lo Iuve vou ugree wILI me. suppose LIuL's
wIv uIwuvs LIrIII Lo Ieur vou speuk, someIow vou convev LIe greuL
LIrobbIng vILuIILv oI LIe movemenL. L's reuIIv umuzIng. You gIve me
sucI u IeeIIng oI securILv-uILIougI," sIe InLerrupLed IerseII wILI u
mvsLerIous smIIe, " musL conIess LIuL vou uIso muke me uIruId."
"AIruId? You cun'L meun LIuL," suId.
"ReuIIv," sIe repeuLed, us IuugIed. "L's so powerIuI, so-so
prImILIve!"
IeIL some oI LIe uIr escupe Irom LIe room, IeuvIng IL unnuLuruIIv
quIeL. "You don'L meun prImILIve?" suId.
"Yes, prImILIve; no one Ius LoId vou, BroLIer, LIuL uL LImes vou
Iuve Lom-Loms beuLIng In vour voIce?"
"Mv God," IuugIed, " LIougIL LIuL wus LIe beuL oI proIound
Ideus."
"OI course, vou're correcL," sIe suId. " don'L meun reuIIv
prImILIve. suppose meun IorceIuI, powerIuI. L Lukes IoId oI one's
emoLIons us weII us one's InLeIIecL. CuII IL wIuL vou wIII, IL Ius so mucI
nuked power LIuL IL goes sLruIgIL LIrougI one. LrembIe jusL Lo LIInk oI
sucI vILuIILv."
Iooked uL Ier, so cIose now LIuL couId see u sIngIe jeL-bIuck
sLrund oI ouL-oI-pIuce IuIr. "Yes," suId, "LIe emoLIon Is LIere; buL IL's
ucLuuIIv our scIenLIIIc upproucI LIuL reIeuses IL. As BroLIer Juck suvs,
we're noLIIng II noL orgunIzers. And LIe emoLIon Isn'L mereIv reIeused,
IL's guIded, cIunneIIzed-LIuL Is LIe reuI source oI our eIIecLIveness.
AILer uII, LIIs verv good wIne cun pIeuse emoLIon, buL doubL serIousIv
LIuL IL cun orgunIze unvLIIng."
SIe Ieuned gruceIuIIv Iorwurd, Ier urm uIong LIe buck oI LIe soIu,
suvIng, "Yes, und vou do boLI In vour speecIes. One jusL Ius Lo
respond, even wIen one Isn'L Loo cIeur us Lo vour meunIng. OnIv do
know wIuL vou're suvIng und LIuL's even more InspIrIng."
"AcLuuIIv, vou know, 'm us mucI uIIecLed bv LIe uudIence us IL Is
bv me. Ls response IeIps me do mv besL."
"And LIere's unoLIer ImporLunL uspecL," sIe suId; "one wIIcI
concerns me greuLIv. L provIdes women LIe IuII opporLunILv Ior seII-
expressIon, wIIcI Is so verv ImporLunL, BroLIer. L's us LIougI everv
duv were eup Yeur-wIIcI Is us IL sIouId be. Women sIouId be
ubsoIuLeIv us Iree us men."
And II were reuIIv Iree, LIougIL, IIILIng mv gIuss, 'd geL LIe IeII
ouL oI Iere.
" LIougIL vou were excepLIonuIIv good LonIgIL-IL's LIme LIe
womun Iud u cIumpIon In LIe movemenL. UnLII LonIgIL 'd uIwuvs
Ieurd vou on mInorILv probIems."
"TIIs Is u new ussIgnmenL," suId. "BuL Irom now on one oI our
muIn concerns Is Lo be LIe Womun QuesLIon."
"TIuL's wonderIuI und IL's ubouL LIme. SomeLIIng Ius Lo gIve
women un opporLunILv Lo come Lo cIose grIps wILI IIIe. PIeuse go on,
LeII me vour Ideus," sIe suId, pressIng Iorwurd, Ier Iund IIgIL upon mv
urm.
And wenL on LuIkIng, reIIeved Lo LuIk, currIed uwuv bv mv own
enLIusIusm und bv LIe wurmLI oI LIe wIne. And IL wus onIv wIen
Lurned Lo usk u quesLIon oI Ier LIuL reuIIzed LIuL sIe wus IeunIng onIv
u nose-LIp uwuv, Ier eves upon mv Iuce.
"Go on, pIeuse go on," Ieurd. "You muke IL sound so cIeur-
pIeuse."
suw LIe rupId, moLI-wIng IIuLLerIng oI Ier IIds become LIe
soILness oI Ier IIps us we were druwn LogeLIer. TIere wus noL un Ideu
or concepL In IL buL sIeer wurmLI; LIen LIe beII wus rIngIng und
sIook IL oII und goL Lo mv IeeL, IeurIng IL rIng uguIn us sIe urose wILI
me, LIe red robe IuIIIng In Ieuvv IoIds upon LIe curpeL, und sIe suvIng,
"You muke IL uII so wonderIuIIv uIIve," us LIe beII sounded uguIn. And
wus LrvIng Lo move, Lo geL ouL oI LIe upurLmenL, IookIng Ior mv IuL und
IIIIIng wILI unger, LIInkIng, s sIe cruzv? Doesn'L sIe Ieur? us sIe sLood
beIore me In bewIIdermenL, us LIougI were ucLIng IrruLIonuIIv. And
now LukIng mv urm wILI sudden energv, suvIng, "TIIs wuv, In Iere,"
uImosL puIIIng me uIong us LIe beII rung uguIn, LIrougI u door down u
sIorL IuII, u suLInv bedroom, In wIIcI sIe sLood uppruIsIng me wILI u
smIIe, suvIng, "TIIs Is mIne," us Iooked uL Ier In ouLrugeous dIsbeIIeI.
"Yours, vours? BuL wIuL ubouL LIuL beII?"
"Never mInd," sIe cooed, IookIng InLo mv eves.
"BuL be reusonubIe," suId, pusIIng Ier usIde. "WIuL ubouL LIuL
door?"
"OI, oI course, vou meun LIe LeIepIone, don'L vou, durIIng?"
"BuL vour oId mun-vour Iusbund?"
"n CIIcugo -"
"BuL Ie mIgIL noL -"
"No, no, durIIng, Ie won'L -"
"BuL Ie mIgIL!"
"BuL, BroLIer, durIIng, LuIked wILI IIm, know."
"You wIuL? WIuL kInd oI gume Is LIIs?"
"OI, vou poor durIIng! L Isn'L u gume, reuIIv vou Iuve no cuuse Lo
worrv, we're Iree. He's In CIIcugo, seekIng IIs IosL vouLI, no doubL,"
sIe suId, bursLIng InLo IuugILer oI seII-surprIse. "He's noL uL uII
InLeresLed In upIIILIng LIIngs-Ireedom und necessILv, womun's rIgILs
und uII LIuL. You know, LIe sIckness oI our cIuss-BroLIer, durIIng."
Look u sLep ucross LIe room; LIere wus unoLIer door Lo mv IeIL
LIrougI wIIcI suw LIe gIeum oI cIromIum und LIIe.
"BroLIerIood, durIIng," sIe suId, grIppIng mv bIceps wILI Ier
IILLIe Iunds. "TeucI me, LuIk Lo me. TeucI me LIe beuuLIIuI IdeoIogv oI
BroLIerIood." And wunLed boLI Lo smusI Ier und Lo sLuv wILI Ier
und knew LIuL sIouId do neILIer. Wus sIe LrvIng Lo ruIn me, or wus
LIIs u Lrup seL bv some secreL enemv oI LIe movemenL wuILIng ouLsIde
LIe door wILI cumerus und wreckIng burs?
"You sIouId unswer LIe pIone," suId wILI Iorced cuIm, LrvIng Lo
reIeuse mv Iunds wILIouL LoucIIng Ier, Ior II LoucIed Ier -
"And vou'II conLInue?" sIe suId.
nodded, seeIng Ier Lurn wILIouL u word und go Lowurd u vunILv
wILI u Iurge ovuI mIrror, LukIng up un Ivorv LeIepIone. And In LIe
mIrrored InsLunL suw mvseII sLundIng beLween Ier euger Iorm und u
Iuge wIILe bed, mvseII cuugIL In u guIILv sLunce, mv Iuce LuuL, LIe
dungIIng; und beIInd LIe bed unoLIer mIrror wIIcI now IIke u surge oI
LIe seu Lossed our Imuges buck und IorLI, buck und IorLI, IurIousIv
muILIpIvIng LIe LIme und LIe pIuce und LIe cIrcumsLunce. Mv vIsIon
seemed Lo puIse uILernuLeIv cIeur und vugue, drIven bv u IurIous
beIIows, us Ier IIps suId soundIessIv, 'm sorrv, und LIen ImpuLIenLIv
InLo LIe LeIepIone, "Yes, LIIs Is sIe," und LIen Lo me uguIn, smIIIng us
sIe covered LIe mouLIpIece wILI Ier Iund, "L's onIv mv sIsLer; IL'II
onIv Luke u second." And mv mInd wIIrIed wILI IorgoLLen sLorIes oI
muIe servunLs summoned Lo wusI LIe mIsLress's buck; cIuuIIeurs
sIurIng LIe musLers' wIves; PuIImun porLers InvILed InLo LIe druwIng
room oI rIcI wIves Ieuded Ior Reno-LIInkIng, BuL LIIs Is LIe
movemenL, LIe BroLIerIood. And now suw Ier smIIe, suvIng, "Yes,
Gwen, deur. Yes," us one Iree Iund wenL up us LIougI Lo smooLI Ier
IuIr und In one swIIL moLIon LIe red robe swepL usIde IIke u veII, und
wenL breuLIIess, uL LIe peLILe und generousIv curved nude, Irumed
deIIcuLe und IIrm In LIe gIuss. L wus IIke u dreum InLervuI und In un
InsLunL IL swung buck und suw onIv Ier mvsLerIousIv smIIIng eves
ubove LIe rIcI red robe.
wus IeudIng Ior LIe door, Lorn beLween unger und u IIerce
excILemenL, IeurIng LIe pIone cIIck down us sLurLed pusL und IeeIIng
Ier swIrI uguInsL me und wus IosL, Ior LIe conIIIcL beLween LIe
IdeoIogIcuI und LIe bIoIogIcuI, duLv und desIre, Iud become Loo subLIv
conIused. wenL Lo Ier, LIInkIng, eL LIem breuk down LIe door,
wIosoever wIII, IeL LIem come.
DDN'T know wIeLIer wus uwuke or dreumIng. L wus deud
quIeL, veL wus cerLuIn LIuL LIere Iud been u noIse und LIuL IL Iud come
Irom ucross LIe room us sIe besIde me mude u soIL sIgIIng sound. L
wus sLrunge. Mv mInd revoIved. wus cIused ouL oI u cIInkupIn woods
bv u buII. run up u IIII; LIe wIoIe IIII Ieuved. Ieurd LIe sound und
Iooked up Lo see LIe mun IookIng sLruIgIL uL me Irom wIere Ie sLood In
LIe dIm IIgIL oI LIe IuII, IookIng In wILI neILIer InLeresL nor surprIse.
HIs Iuce expressIonIess, IIs eves sLurIng. TIere wus LIe sound oI even
breuLIIng. TIen Ieurd Ier sLIr besIde me.
"OI, IeIIo, deur," sIe suId, Ier voIce soundIng Iur uwuv. "Buck so
soon?"
"Yes," Ie suId. "Wuke me eurIv, Iuve u IoL Lo do."
"'II remember, deur," sIe suId sIeepIIv. "Huve u good nIgIL's resL .
. ."
"NIgIL, und vou Loo," Ie suId wILI u sIorL drv IuugI.
TIe door cIosed. Iuv LIere In LIe durk Ior u wIIIe, breuLIIng
rupIdIv. L wus sLrunge. reucIed ouL und LoucIed Ier. TIere wus no
unswer. Ieuned over Ier, IeeIIng Ier breuLI breezIng wurm und pure
uguInsL mv Iuce. wunLed Lo IInger LIere, experIencIng LIe sensuLIon oI
someLIIng precIous perIIousIv uLLuIned Loo IuLe und now Lo be IosL
Iorever-u poIgnuncv. BuL IL wus us LIougI sIe'd never been uwuke und
II sIe sIouId uwuken now, sIe'd screum, sIrIek. sIId IurrIedIv Irom
LIe bed, keepIng mv eve on LIuL purL oI LIe durkness Irom wIere LIe
IIgIL Iud come us LrIed Lo IInd mv cIoLIes. bIundered uround,
IIndIng u cIuIr, un empLv cIuIr. WIere were mv cIoLIes? WIuL u IooI!
WIv Iud goLLen mvseII InLo sucI u sILuuLIon? IeIL mv wuv nuked
LIrougI durkness, Iound LIe cIuIr wILI mv cIoLIes, dressed IurrIedIv
und sIIpped ouL, IuILIng onIv uL LIe door Lo Iook buck LIrougI LIe dIm
IIgIL Irom LIe IuII. SIe sIepL wILIouL sIgI or smIIe, u beuuLIIuI dreumer,
one Ivorv urm IIung ubove Ier jeL-bIuck Ieud. Mv IeurL pounded us
cIosed LIe door und wenL down LIe IuII, expecLIng LIe mun, men,
crowds-Lo IuIL me. TIen wus LukIng LIe sLuIrs.
TIe buIIdIng wus quIeL. n LIe Iobbv LIe doormun dozed, IIs
sLurcIed bIb buckIIng beneuLI IIs cIIn wILI IIs breuLIIng, IIs wIILe
Ieud bure. reucIed LIe sLreeL IImp wILI perspIruLIon, sLIII unsure
wIeLIer Iud seen LIe mun or Iud dreumed IIm. CouId Iuve seen
IIm wILIouL IIs seeIng me? Or uguIn, Iud Ie seen me und been sIIenL
ouL oI sopIIsLIcuLIon, decudence, over-cIvIIIzuLIon? IurrIed down LIe
sLreeL, mv unxIeLv growIng wILI eucI sLep. WIv Iudn'L Ie suId
someLIIng, recognIzed me, cursed me? ALLucked me? Or uL IeusL been
ouLruged wILI Ier? And wIuL II IL were u LesL Lo dIscover Iow wouId
reucL Lo sucI pressure? L wus, uILer uII, u poInL upon wIIcI our
enemIes wouId uLLuck us vIoIenLIv. wuIked In u sweuL oI ugonv. WIv
dId LIev Iuve Lo mIx LIeIr women InLo evervLIIng? BeLween us und
evervLIIng we wunLed Lo cIunge In LIe worId LIev pIuced u womun:
socIuIIv, poIILIcuIIv, economIcuIIv. WIv, goddumIL, wIv dId LIev InsIsL
upon conIusIng LIe cIuss sLruggIe wILI LIe uss sLruggIe, debusIng boLI
us und LIem-uII Iumun moLIves?
AII LIe nexL duv wus In u sLuLe oI exIuusLIon, wuILIng LenseIv Ior
LIe pIun Lo be reveuIed. Now wus cerLuIn LIuL LIe mun Iud been In LIe
doorwuv, u mun wILI u brIeI cuse wIo Iud Iooked In und gIven no
deIInILe sIgn LIuL Ie Iud seen me. A mun wIo Iud spoken IIke un
IndIIIerenL Iusbund, buL wIo veL seemed Lo recuII Lo me some
ImporLunL member oI LIe BroLIerIood-someone so IumIIIur LIuL mv
IuIIure Lo IdenLIIv IIm wus drIvIng me uImosL Lo dIsLrucLIon. Mv work
Iuv unLoucIed beIore me. EucI rIng oI LIe LeIepIone IIIIed me wILI
dreud. Loved wILI Turp's Ieg cIuIn.
I LIev don'L cuII bv Iour o'cIock, 'm suved, LoId mvseII. BuL sLIII
no sIgn, noL even u cuII Lo u meeLIng. InuIIv rung Ier number, IeurIng
Ier voIce, deIIgILed, guv und dIscreeL; buL no menLIon oI LIe nIgIL or
LIe mun. And IeurIng Ier so composed und guv wus Loo emburrussed
Lo brIng IL up. PerIups LIIs wus LIe sopIIsLIcuLed und cIvIIIzed wuv?
PerIups Ie wus LIere und LIev Iud un undersLundIng, u womun wILI
IuII rIgILs.
WouId reLurn Ior IurLIer dIscussIon, sIe wunLed Lo know.
"Yes, oI course," suId.
"OI, BroLIer," sIe suId.
Iung up wILI u mIxLure oI reIIeI und unxIeLv, unubIe Lo sIrug oII
LIe noLIon LIuL Iud been LesLed und Iud IuIIed. wenL LIrougI LIe
nexL week puzzIIng over IL, und even more conIused becuuse knew
noLIIng deIInILe oI wIere sLood. LrIed Lo deLecL unv cIunges In mv
reIuLIons wILI BroLIer Juck und LIe oLIers, buL LIev guve no sIgn. And
even II LIev Iud, wouIdn'L Iuve known ILs deIInILe meunIng, Ior IL
mIgIL Iuve Iud Lo do wILI LIe cIurges. wus cuugIL beLween guIIL und
Innocence, so LIuL now LIev seemed one und LIe sume. Mv nerves were
In u sLuLe oI consLunL LensIon, mv Iuce Look on u sLIII, non-commILLuI
expressIon, begInnIng Lo Iook IIke BroLIer Juck's und LIe oLIer Ieuders'.
TIen reIuxed u bIL; work Iud Lo be done und wouId pIuv LIe wuILIng
gume. And despILe mv guIIL und uncerLuInLv Ieurned Lo IorgeL LIuL
wus u Ione guIILv bIuck BroLIer und Lo go sLrIdIng conIIdenLIv InLo u
roomIuI oI wIILes. L wus cIIn up, u noL Loo wIde-sLreLcIed smIIe, LIe
ouL-LIrusL Iund Ior LIe IIrm wurm Iund sIuke. And wILI IL jusL LIe
proper mIxLure oI urrogunce und down-Lo-eurLI IumIIILv Lo suLIsIv uII.
LIrew mvseII InLo LIe IecLures, deIendIng, usserLIng LIe rIgILs oI
women; und LIougI LIe gIrIs conLInued Lo buzz uround, wus cureIuI Lo
keep LIe bIoIogIcuI und IdeoIogIcuI cureIuIIv upurL-wIIcI wusn'L
uIwuvs eusv, Ior IL wus us LIougI munv oI LIe sIsLers were ugreed
umong LIemseIves (und ussumed LIuL uccepLed IL) LIuL LIe IdeoIogIcuI
wus mereIv u superIIuous veII Ior LIe reuI concerns oI IIIe.
Iound LIuL mosL downLown uudIences seemed Lo expecL some
unnumed someLIIng wIenever uppeured. couId sense IL LIe momenL
sLood beIore LIem, und IL Iud noLIIng Lo do wILI unvLIIng mIgIL
suv. or Iud mereIv Lo uppeur beIore LIem, und Irom LIe momenL
LIev Lurned LIeIr eves upon me LIev seemed Lo undergo u sLrunge
unburdenIng-noL oI IuugILer, nor oI Leurs, nor oI unv sLubIe, unmIxed
emoLIon. dIdn'L geL IL. And mv guIIL wus uroused. Once In LIe mIddIe
oI u pussuge Iooked InLo LIe seu oI Iuces und LIougIL, Do LIev know?
s LIuL IL?-und uImosL ruIned mv IecLure. BuL oI one LIIng wus
cerLuIn, IL wus noL LIe sume uLLILude LIev IeId Ior cerLuIn oLIer bIuck
broLIers wIo enLerLuIned LIem wILI sLorIes so oILen LIuL LIev IuugIed
even beIore LIese IeIIows opened LIeIr mouLIs. No, IL wus someLIIng
eIse. A Iorm oI expecLuncv, u mood oI wuILIng, u IopIng Ior someLIIng
IIke jusLIIIcuLIon; us LIougI LIev expecLed me Lo be more LIun jusL
unoLIer speuker, or un enLerLuIner. SomeLIIng seemed Lo occur LIuL
wus IIdden Irom mv own conscIousness. ucLed ouL u punLomIme more
eIoquenL LIun mv mosL expressIve words. wus u purLner Lo IL buL couId
no more IuLIom IL LIun couId LIe mvsLerv oI LIe mun In LIe doorwuv.
PerIups, LoId mvseII, IL's In vour voIce, uILer uII. n vour voIce und In
LIeIr desIre Lo see In vou u IIvIng prooI oI LIeIr beIIeI In BroLIerIood,
und Lo euse mv mInd sLopped LIInkIng ubouL IL.
TIen one nIgIL wIen Iud IuIIen usIeep wIIIe mukIng noLes Ior u
new serIes oI IecLures, LIe pIone summoned me Lo un emergencv
meeLIng uL IeudquurLers, und IeIL LIe Iouse wILI IeeIIngs oI dreud.
TIIs Is IL, LIougIL, eILIer LIe cIurges or LIe womun. To be LrIpped up
bv u womun! WIuL wouId suv Lo LIem, LIuL sIe wus IrresIsLIbIe und
Iumun? WIuL Iud LIuL Lo do wILI responsIbIIILv, wILI buIIdIng
BroLIerIood?
L wus uII couId do Lo muke mvseII go, und urrIved IuLe. TIe
room wus sweILerIng; LIree smuII Iuns sLIrred LIe Ieuvv uIr, und LIe
broLIers suL In LIeIr sIIrLsIeeves uround u scurred LubIe upon wIIcI u
pILcIer oI Iced wuLer gIIsLened wILI beuds oI moIsLure.
"BroLIers, 'm sorrv 'm IuLe," upoIogIzed. "TIere were some
ImporLunL IusL-mInuLe deLuIIs concernIng Lomorrow's IecLure LIuL kepL
me."
"TIen vou mIgIL Iuve suved vourseII LIe LroubIe und LIe
commILLee LIIs IosL LIme," BroLIer Juck suId.
" don'L undersLund vou," suId, suddenIv IeverIsI.
"He meuns LIuL vou ure no Ionger Lo concern vourseII wILI LIe
Womun QuesLIon. TIuL's ended," BroLIer TobILL suId; und bruced
mvseII Ior LIe uLLuck, buL beIore couId respond BroLIer Juck IIred u
sLurLIIng quesLIon uL me.
"WIuL Ius become oI BroLIer Tod CIIILon?"
"BroLIer CIIILon-wIv, Iuven'L seen IIm In weeks. 've been Loo
busv downLown Iere. WIuL's Iuppened?"
"He Ius dIsuppeured," BroLIer Juck suId, "dIsuppeured! So don'L
wusLe LIme wILI superIIuous quesLIons. You weren'L senL Ior Ior LIuL."
"BuL Iow Iong Ius LIIs been known?"
BroLIer Juck sLruck LIe LubIe. "AII we know Is LIuL Ie's gone. eL's
geL on wILI our busIness. You, BroLIer, ure Lo reLurn Lo HurIem
ImmedIuLeIv. We're IucIng u crIsIs LIere, sInce BroLIer Tod CIIILon Ius
noL onIv dIsuppeured buL IuIIed In IIs ussIgnmenL. On LIe oLIer Iund,
Rus LIe ExIorLer und IIs gung oI rucIsL gungsLers ure LukIng udvunLuge
oI LIIs und ure IncreusIng LIeIr ugILuLIon. You ure Lo geL buck LIere und
Luke meusures Lo reguIn our sLrengLI In LIe communILv. You'II be gIven
LIe Iorces vou need und vou'II reporL Lo us Ior u sLruLegv meeLIng ubouL
wIIcI vou'II be noLIIIed Lomorrow. And pIeuse," Ie empIusIzed wILI IIs
guveI, "be on LIme!"
wus so reIIeved LIuL none oI mv own probIems were dIscussed
LIuL dIdn'L IInger Lo usk II LIe poIIce Iud been consuILed ubouL LIe
dIsuppeurunce. SomeLIIng wus wrong wILI LIe wIoIe deuI, Ior CIIILon
wus Loo responsIbIe und Iud Loo mucI Lo guIn sImpIv Lo Iuve
dIsuppeured. DId IL Iuve unv connecLIon wILI Rus LIe ExIorLer? BuL
LIuL seemed unIIkeIv; HurIem wus one oI our sLrongesL dIsLrIcLs, und
jusL u monLI ugo wIen wus sIIILed Rus wouId Iuve been IuugIed oII
LIe sLreeL Iud Ie LrIed Lo uLLuck us. I onIv Iudn'L been so cureIuI noL
Lo oIIend LIe commILLee wouId Iuve kepL In cIoser conLucL wILI
CIIILon und LIe wIoIe HurIem membersIIp. Now IL wus us LIougI Iud
been suddenIv uwukened Irom u deep sIeep.
CIupLer zo
Iud been uwuv Iong enougI Ior LIe sLreeLs Lo seem sLrunge. TIe
upLown rIvLIms were sIower und veL were someIow IusLer; u dIIIerenL
LensIon wus In LIe IoL nIgIL uIr. mude mv wuv LIrougI LIe summer
crowds, noL Lo LIe dIsLrIcL buL Lo BurreIIouse's JoIIv DoIIur, u durk IoIe
oI u bur und grIII on upper EIgILI Avenue, wIere one oI mv besL
conLucLs, BroLIer Muceo, couId usuuIIv be Iound ubouL LIIs LIme,
IuvIng IIs evenIng's beer.
ookIng LIrougI LIe wIndow, couId see men In workIng cIoLIes
und u Iew rummv women IeunIng uL LIe bur, und down LIe uIsIe
beLween LIe bur und counLer were u coupIe oI men In bIuck und bIue
cIecked sporL sIIrLs euLIng burbecue. A cIusLer oI men und women
Iovered neur LIe juke box uL LIe reur. BuL wIen wenL In BroLIer
Muceo wusn'L umong LIem und pusIed Lo LIe bur, decIdIng Lo wuIL
over u beer.
"Good evenIng, BroLIers," suId, IIndIng mvseII besIde Lwo men
wIom Iud seen uround beIore; onIv Lo Iuve LIem Iook uL me oddIv,
LIe evebrows oI LIe LuII one ruIsIng uL u drunken ungIe us Ie Iooked uL
LIe oLIer.
"SIIL," LIe LuII mun suId.
"You suId IL, mun; Ie u reIuLIve oI vourn?"
"SIIL, Ie goddum sIo uIn'L no kIn oI mIne!"
Lurned und Iooked uL LIem, LIe room suddenIv cIoudv.
"He musL be drunk," LIe second mun suId. "Muvbe Ie LIInks Ie's
kIn Lo vou."
"TIen IIs wIIskev's LeIIIng IIm u dumn IIe. wouIdn'L be IIs kIn
even II wus-Hev, BurreIIouse!"
moved uwuv, down LIe bur, IookIng uL LIem ouL oI u IeeIIng oI
suspense. TIev dIdn'L sound drunk und Iud suId noLIIng Lo oIIend,
und wus cerLuIn LIuL LIev knew wIo wus. WIuL wus IL? TIe
BroLIerIood greeLIng wus us IumIIIur us "GIve me some skIn" or
"Peuce, IL's wonderIuI."
suw BurreIIouse roIIIng down Irom LIe oLIer end oI LIe bur, IIs
wIILe upron IndenLed bv LIe LensIon oI ILs cord so LIuL Ie Iooked IIke
LIuL kInd oI meLuI beer burreI wIIcI Ius u groove uround ILs mIddIe;
und seeIng me now, Ie begun Lo smIIe.
"WeII, 'II be dumned II IL uIn'L LIe good broLIer," Ie suId,
sLreLcIIng ouL IIs Iund. "BroLIer, wIere vou been keepIng vourseII?"
"'ve been workIng downLown," suId, IeeIIng u surge oI gruLILude.
"Ine, IIne!" BurreIIouse suId.
"BusIness good?"
"'d ruLIer noL dIscuss IL, BroLIer. BusIness Is bud. Verv bud."
"'m sorrv Lo Ieur IL. You'd beLLer gIve me u beer," suId, "uILer
vou've served LIese genLIemen." wuLcIed LIem In LIe mIrror.
"Sure LIIng," BurreIIouse suId, reucIIng Ior u gIuss und druwIng u
beer. "WIuL vou puLLIng down, oIe mun?" Ie suId Lo LIe LuII mun.
"ook Iere, BurreI, we wunLed Lo usk vou one quesLIon," LIe LuII
one suId. "We jusL wunLed Lo know II vou couId LeII us jusL wIose
broLIer LIIs Iere cuL's supposed Lo be? He come In Iere jusL now
cuIIIng evervbodv broLIer."
"He's mv broLIer," BurreI suId, IoIdIng LIe IoumIng gIuss beLween
IIs Iong IIngers. "AnvLIIng wrong wILI LIuL?"
"ook, IeIIow," suId down LIe bur, "LIuL's our wuv oI speukIng.
meunL no Iurm In cuIIIng vou broLIer. 'm sorrv vou mIsundersLood
me."
"BroLIer, Iere's vour beer," BurreIIouse suId.
"So Ie's vour broLIer, eI, BurreI?"
BurreI's eves nurrowed us Ie pressed IIs Iuge cIesL ucross LIe bur,
IookIng suddenIv sud. "You enjovIng vourseII, MucAdums?" Ie suId
gIoomIIv. "You IIke vour beer?"
"SIo," MucAdums suId.
"L coId enougI?"
"SIo, buL BurreI -"
"You IIke LIe groovv musIc on LIe juke?" BurreIIouse suId.
"HeII, ves, buL -"
"And vou IIke our good, cIeun, socIubIe uLmospIere?"
"SIo, buL LIuL uIn'L wIuL 'm LuIkIng ubouL," LIe mun suId.
"YeuI, buL LIuL's wIuL 'm LuIkIng ubouL," BurreIIouse suId
mournIuIIv. "And II vou IIke IL, IIke IL, und don'L sLurL LrvIng Lo bug mv
oLIer cusLomers. TIIs Iere mun's done more Ior LIe communILv LIun
vou'II ever do."
"WIuL communILv?" MucAdums suId, cuLLIng IIs eves uround
Lowurd me. " Ieur Ie goL LIe wIILe Iever und IeIL . . ."
"You IIubIe Lo Ieur unvLIIng," BurreIIouse suId. "TIere's some
puper buck LIere In LIe genLs' room. You ougIL Lo wIpe ouL vour eurs."
"Never mInd mv eurs."
"Aw come" on, Muc," IIs IrIend suId. "orgIL IL. AIn'L LIe mun done
upoIogIzed?"
" suId never mInd mv eurs," MucAdums suId. "You jusL LeII vour
broLIer Ie ougIL Lo be cureIuI 'bouL wIo Ie cIuIms us kInIoIks. Some oI
us don'L LIInk so mucI oI IIs kInd oI poIILIcs."
Iooked Irom one Lo LIe oLIer. consIdered mvseII bevond LIe
sLuge oI sLreeL-IIgILIng, und one oI LIe worsL LIIngs couId do upon
reLurnIng Lo LIe communILv wus Lo enguge In u bruwI. Iooked uL
MucAdums und wus gIud wIen LIe oLIer mun pusIed IIm down LIe
bur.
"TIuL MucAdums LIInks Ie's rIgIL," BurreIIouse suId. "He's LIe
kInd cuInL nobodv pIeuse. Be Irunk LIougI, LIere's IoLs IeeI IIke LIuL
now."
sIook mv Ieud In buIIIemenL. 'd never meL LIuL kInd oI
unLugonIsm beIore. "WIuL's Iuppened Lo BroLIer Muceo?" suId.
" don'L know, BroLIer. He don'L come In so reguIur LIese duvs.
TIIngs ure kIndu cIungIng up Iere. AIn'L mucI monev IIouLIng
uround."
"TImes ure Iurd evervwIere. BuL wIuL's been goIng on up Iere,
BurreI?" suId.
"OI, vou know Iow IL Is, BroLIer; LIIngs ure LIgIL und IoLs oI IoIks
wIo goL jobs LIrougI vou peopIe Iuve IosL LIem. You know Iow IL
goes."
"You meun peopIe In our orgunIzuLIon?"
"QuILe u Iew oI LIem ure. eIIows IIke BroLIer Muceo."
"BuL wIv? TIev were doIng uII rIgIL."
"Sure LIev wus-us Iong us vou peopIe wus IIgILIng Ior 'em. BuL
LIe mInuLe v'uII sLopped, LIev sLurLed LIrowIng IoIks ouL on LIe sLreeL."
Iooked uL IIm, bIg und sIncere beIore me. L wus unbeIIevubIe
LIuL LIe BroLIerIood Iud sLopped ILs work, und veL Ie wusn'L IvIng.
"GIve me unoLIer beer," suId. TIen someone cuIIed IIm Irom LIe
buck, und Ie drew LIe beer und IeIL.
drunk IL sIowIv, IopIng BroLIer Muceo wouId uppeur beIore
Iud IInIsIed. WIen Ie dIdn'L wuved Lo BurreIIouse und IeIL Ior LIe
dIsLrIcL. PerIups BroLIer Turp couId expIuIn; or uL IeusL LeII me
someLIIng ubouL CIIILon.
wuIked LIrougI LIe durk bIock over Lo SevenLI und sLurLed
down; LIIngs were begInnIng Lo Iook serIous. AIong LIe wuv suw noL u
sIngIe sIgn oI BroLIerIood ucLIvILv. n u IoL sIde sLreeL cume upon u
coupIe sLrIkIng muLcIes uIong LIe curb, kneeIIng us LIougI IookIng Ior
u IosL coIn, LIe muLcIes IIurIng dImIv In LIeIr Iuces. TIen Iound
mvseII In u sLrungeIv IumIIIur bIock und broke ouL In u sweuL: Iud
wuIked uImosL Lo Murv's door, und Lurned now und IurrIed uwuv.
BurreIIouse Iud prepured me Ior LIe durkened wIndows oI LIe
dIsLrIcL, buL noL, wIen IeL mvseII In, Lo cuII In vuIn LIrougI LIe durk Lo
BroLIer Turp. wenL Lo LIe room wIere Ie sIepL, buL Ie wus noL LIere;
LIen wenL LIrougI LIe durk IuII Lo mv oId oIIIce und LIrew mvseII
InLo mv desk cIuIr, exIuusLed. EvervLIIng seemed Lo be sIIppIng uwuv
Irom me und couId IInd no quIck ubsorbIng ucLIon LIuL wouId geL IL
under conLroI. LrIed Lo LIInk oI wIom umong LIe dIsLrIcL commILLee
mIgIL cuII Ior InIormuLIon concernIng CIIILon, buL Iere uguIn wus
buIked. or II seIecLed one wIo beIIeved LIuL Iud requesLed Lo be
LrunsIerred becuuse IuLed mv own peopIe IL wouId onIv compIIcuLe
muLLers. No doubL LIere wouId be some wIo'd resenL mv reLurn, so IL
wus besL Lo conIronL LIem uII uL once wILIouL gIvIng unv one oI LIem
LIe opporLunILv Lo orgunIze unv senLImenL uguInsL me. L wus besL LIuL
LuIk wILI BroLIer Turp, wIom LrusLed. WIen Ie cume In Ie couId gIve
me un Ideu oI LIe sLuLe oI uIIuIrs, und perIups LeII me wIuL Iud ucLuuIIv
Iuppened Lo CIIILon.
BuL BroLIer Turp dIdn'L urrIve. wenL ouL und goL u conLuIner oI
coIIee und reLurned Lo spend LIe nIgIL porIng over LIe dIsLrIcL's
records. WIen Ie Iudn'L reLurned bv LIree A.M. wenL Lo IIs room und
Look u Iook uround. L wus empLv, even LIe bed wus gone. 'm uII uIone,
LIougIL. A IoL Ius occurred ubouL wIIcI wusn'L LoId; someLIIng LIuL
Iud noL onIv sLIIIed LIe members' InLeresL buL wIIcI, uccordIng Lo LIe
records, Iud senL LIem uwuv In droves. BurreIIouse Iud suId LIuL LIe
orgunIzuLIon Iud quIL IIgILIng, und LIuL wus LIe onIv expIunuLIon
couId IInd Ior BroLIer Turp's IeuvIng. UnIess, oI course, Ie'd Iud
dIsugreemenLs wILI CIIILon or some oI LIe oLIer Ieuders. And now
reLurnIng Lo mv desk noLIced IIs gIIL oI DougIuss' porLruIL wus gone.
IeIL In mv pockeL Ior LIe Ieg cIuIn, uL IeusL Iudn'L IorgoLLen Lo Luke
LIuL uIong. pusIed LIe records usIde; LIev LoId me noLIIng oI wIv
LIIngs were us LIev were. PIckIng up LIe LeIepIone cuIIed CIIILon's
number, IeurIng IL rIng on und on. InuIIv guve IL up und wenL Lo
sIeep In mv cIuIr. EvervLIIng Iud Lo wuIL unLII LIe sLruLegv meeLIng.
ReLurnIng Lo LIe dIsLrIcL wus IIke reLurnIng Lo u cILv oI LIe deud.
SomewIuL Lo mv surprIse LIere were u good number oI members
In LIe IuII wIen uwoke, und IuvIng no dIrecLIves Irom LIe commILLee
on Iow Lo proceed orgunIzed LIem InLo Leums Lo seurcI Ior BroLIer
CIIILon. NoL one couId gIve me unv deIInILe InIormuLIon. BroLIer
CIIILon Iud uppeured uL LIe dIsLrIcL us usuuI up Lo LIe LIme oI IIs
dIsuppeurunce. TIere Iud been no quurreIs wILI commILLee members,
und Ie wus us popuIur us ever. Nor Iud LIere been unv cIusIes wILI Rus
LIe ExIorLer-uILIougI In LIe pusL week Ie Iud been IncreusIngIv
ucLIve. As Ior LIe Ioss oI membersIIp und InIIuence, IL wus u resuIL oI u
new progrum wIIcI Iud cuIIed Ior LIe sIeIvIng oI our oId LecInIques oI
ugILuLIon. TIere Iud been, Lo mv surprIse, u swILcI In empIusIs Irom
IocuI Issues Lo LIose more nuLIonuI und InLernuLIonuI In scope, und IL
wus IeIL LIuL Ior LIe momenL LIe InLeresLs oI HurIem were noL oI IIrsL
ImporLunce. dIdn'L know wIuL Lo muke oI IL, sInce LIere Iud been no
sucI cIunge oI progrum downLown. CIIILon wus IorgoLLen, evervLIIng
wIIcI wus Lo do now seemed Lo depend upon geLLIng un expIunuLIon
Irom LIe commILLee, und wuILed wILI growIng ugILuLIon Lo be cuIIed Lo
LIe sLruLegv meeLIng.
SucI meeLIngs were usuuIIv IeId uround one o'cIock und we were
noLIIIed weII uIeud. BuL bv eIeven-LIIrLv Iud receIved no word und
becume worrIed. Bv LweIve un uneusv sense oI IsoIuLIon Look IoId oI
me. SomeLIIng wus cookIng, buL wIuL, Iow, wIv? InuIIv pIoned
IeudquurLers, buL couId reucI none oI LIe Ieuders. WIuL Is LIIs,
wondered; LIen cuIIed LIe Ieuders oI oLIer dIsLrIcLs wILI LIe sume
resuILs. And now wus cerLuIn LIuL LIe meeLIng wus beIng IeId. BuL
wIv wILIouL me? Hud LIev InvesLIguLed WresLrum's cIurges und
decIded LIev were Lrue? L seemed LIuL LIe membersIIp Iud IuIIen oII
uILer Iud gone downLown. Or wus IL LIe womun? WIuLever IL wus,
now wus noL LIe LIme Lo Ieuve me ouL oI u meeLIng; LIIngs were Loo
urgenL In LIe dIsLrIcL. IurrIed down Lo IeudquurLers.
WIen urrIved LIe meeLIng wus In sessIon, jusL us expecLed, und
word Iud been IeIL LIuL IL wus noL Lo be dIsLurbed bv unvone. L wus
obvIous LIuL LIev Iudn'L IorgoLLen Lo noLIIv me. IeIL LIe buIIdIng In u
ruge. Verv weII, LIougIL, wIen LIev do decIde Lo cuII me LIev'II Iuve Lo
IInd me. sIouId never Iuve been sIIILed In LIe IIrsL pIuce, und now
LIuL wus senL buck Lo cIeun up LIe mess LIev sIouId uId me us quIckIv
us possIbIe. wouId do no more runnIng downLown, nor wouId uccepL
unv progrum LIuL LIev senL up wILIouL consuILIng LIe HurIem
commILLee. TIen decIded, oI uII LIIngs, Lo sIop Ior u puIr oI new
sIoes, und wuIked over Lo IILI Avenue.
L wus IoL, LIe wuIks sLIII IIIIed wILI noonLIme crowds movIng wILI
reIucLunce buck Lo LIeIr jobs. moved uIong cIose Lo LIe curb Lo uvoId
LIe bumpIng und ugILuLed cIunges oI puce, LIe cIuLLerIng women In
summer dresses, IInuIIv enLerIng LIe IeuLIer-smeIIIng, uIr-cooIed
InLerIor oI LIe sIoe sLore wILI u sense oI reIIeI.
Mv IeeL IeIL IIgIL In LIe new summer sIoes us wenL buck InLo LIe
bIuzIng IeuL, und recuIIed LIe oId bovIood pIeusure oI dIscurdIng
wInLer sIoes Ior sneukers und LIe neIgIborIood IooL ruces LIuL uIwuvs
IoIIowed, LIuL IIgIL-IooLed, speedv, IIouLIng sensuLIon. WeII, LIougIL,
vou've run vour IusL IooL ruce und vou'd beLLer geL buck Lo LIe dIsLrIcL In
cuse vou're cuIIed. IurrIed now, mv IeeL IeeIIng LrIm und IIgIL us
moved LIrougI LIe oncomIng rusI oI sunbeuLen Iuces. To uvoId LIe
crowd on orLv-second SLreeL Lurned oII uL orLv-LIIrd und IL wus
Iere LIuL LIIngs begun Lo boII.
A smuII IruIL wugon wILI un urruv oI brIgIL peucIes und peurs
sLood neur LIe curb, und LIe vendor, u IIorId mun wILI buIbous nose
und brIgIL bIuck LuIIun eves, Iooked uL me knowIngIv Irom beneuLI IIs
Iuge wIILe-und-orunge umbreIIu LIen over Lowurd u crowd LIuL Iud
Iormed uIongsIde LIe buIIdIng ucross LIe sLreeL. WIuL's wrong wILI
IIm? LIougIL. TIen wus ucross LIe sLreeL und pussIng LIe group
sLundIng wILI LIeIr bucks Lo me. A cIIpped, InsInuuLIng voIce spIeIed
words wIose meunIng couIdn'L cuLcI und wus ubouL Lo puss on wIen
suw LIe bov. He wus u sIender brown IeIIow wIom recognIzed
ImmedIuLeIv us u cIose IrIend oI CIIILon's, und wIo now wus IookIng
InLenLIv ucross LIe Lops oI curs Lo wIere down LIe bIock neur LIe posL
oIIIce on LIe oLIer sIde u LuII poIIcemun wus upproucIIng. PerIups Ie'II
know someLIIng, LIougIL, us Ie Iooked uround Lo see me und sLopped
In conIusIon.
"HeIIo, LIere," begun, und wIen Ie Lurned Lowurd LIe crowd und
wIIsLIed dIdn'L know wIeLIer Ie wus LeIIIng me Lo do LIe sume or
sIgnuIIIng Lo someone eIse. swung uround, seeIng IIm sLep Lo wIere u
Iurge curLon suL besIde LIe buIIdIng und sIIng ILs cunvus sLrups Lo IIs
sIouIder us once more Ie Iooked Lowurd LIe poIIcemun, IgnorIng me.
PuzzIed, moved InLo LIe crowd und pressed Lo LIe IronL wIere uL mv
IeeL suw u squure pIece oI curdbourd upon wIIcI someLIIng wus
movIng wILI IurIous ucLIon. L wus some kInd oI Lov und gIunced uL LIe
crowd's IuscInuLed eves und down uguIn, seeIng IL cIeurIv LIIs LIme. 'd
seen noLIIng IIke IL beIore. A grInnIng doII oI orunge-und-bIuck LIssue
puper wILI LIIn IIuL curdbourd dIsks IormIng ILs Ieud und IeeL und
wIIcI some mvsLerIous mecIunIsm wus cuusIng Lo move up und down
In u Ioose-joInLed, sIouIder-sIukIng, InIurIuLIngIv sensuous moLIon, u
dunce LIuL wus compIeLeIv deLucIed Irom LIe bIuck, musk-IIke Iuce. L's
no jumpIng-juck, buL wIuL, LIougIL, seeIng LIe doII LIrowIng ILseII
ubouL wILI LIe IIerce deIIunce oI someone perIormIng u degrudIng ucL
In pubIIc, duncIng us LIougI IL receIved u perverse pIeusure Irom ILs
moLIons. And beneuLI LIe cIuckIes oI LIe crowd couId Ieur LIe
swIsIIng oI ILs ruIIIed puper, wIIIe LIe sume ouL-oI-LIe-corner-oI-LIe-
mouLI voIce conLInued Lo spIeI:
SIuke IL up! SIuke IL up!
He's Sumbo, LIe duncIng doII, IudIes und genLIemen.
SIuke IIm, sLreLcI IIm bv LIe neck und seL IIm down,
- He'II do LIe resL. Yes!
He'II muke vou IuugI, Ie'II muke vou sIgI, sI-IgI.
He'II muke vou wunL Lo dunce, und dunce -
Here vou ure, IudIes und genLIemen, Sumbo,
TIe duncIng doII.
Buv one Ior vour bubv. Tuke IIm Lo vour gIrI IrIend und sIe'II Iove
vou, Ioove vou!
He'II keep vou enLerLuIned. He'II muke vou weep sweeL -
Teurs Irom IuugIIng.
SIuke IIm, sIuke IIm, vou cunnoL breuk IIm
or Ie's Sumbo, LIe duncIng, Sumbo, LIe pruncIng,
Sumbo, LIe enLruncIng, Sumbo BoogIe WoogIe puper doII.
And uII Ior LwenLv-IIve cenLs, LIe quurLer purL oI u doIIur . . .
udIes und genLIemen, Ie'II brIng vou jov, sLep up und meeL IIm,
Sumbo LIe -
knew sIouId geL buck Lo LIe dIsLrIcL buL wus IeId bv LIe
InunImuLe, boneIess bouncIng oI LIe grInnIng doII und sLruggIed
beLween LIe desIre Lo joIn In LIe IuugILer und Lo Ieup upon IL wILI boLI
IeeL, wIen IL suddenIv coIIupsed und suw LIe LIp oI LIe spIeIer's Loe
press upon LIe cIrcuIur curdbourd LIuL Iormed LIe IeeL und u broud
bIuck Iund come down, ILs IIngers deILIv IIILIng LIe doII's Ieud und
sLreLcIIng IL upwurd, LwIce ILs IengLI, LIen reIeusIng IL Lo dunce uguIn.
And suddenIv LIe voIce dIdn'L go wILI LIe Iund. L wus us LIougI Iud
wuded ouL InLo u sIuIIow pooI onIv Lo Iuve LIe boLLom drop ouL und LIe
wuLer cIose over mv Ieud. Iooked up.
"NoL vou . . ." begun. BuL IIs eves Iooked pusL me deIIberuLeIv
unseeIng. wus puruIvzed, IookIng uL IIm, knowIng wusn'L dreumIng,
IeurIng:
WIuL mukes IIm Iuppv, wIuL mukes IIm dunce,
TIIs Sumbo, LIIs jumbo, LIIs IIgI-sLeppIng jov bov?
He's more LIun u Lov, IudIes und genLIemen, Ie's Sumbo, LIe
duncIng doII, LIe LwenLIeLI-cenLurv mIrucIe.
ook uL LIuL rumbu, LIuL suzv-q, Ie's Sumbo-BoogIe,
Sumbo-WoogIe, vou don'L Iuve Lo Ieed IIm, Ie sIeeps coIIupsed,
Ie'II kIII vour depressIon
And vour dIspossessIon, Ie IIves upon LIe sunsIIne oI vour IordIv
smIIe
And onIv LwenLv-IIve cenLs, LIe broLIerIv Lwo bILs oI u doIIur
becuuse Ie wunLs me Lo euL.
L gIves IIm pIeusure Lo see me euL.
You sImpIv Luke IIm und sIuke IIm . . . und Ie does LIe resL.
TIunk vou, Iudv . . .
L wus CIIILon, rIdIng eusIIv buck und IorLI on IIs knees, IIexIng IIs
Iegs wILIouL sIIILIng IIs IeeL, IIs rIgIL sIouIder ruIsed uL un ungIe und
IIs urm poInLIng sLIIIIv uL LIe bouncIng doII us Ie spIeIed Irom LIe
corner oI IIs mouLI.
TIe wIIsLIe cume uguIn, und suw IIm gIunce quIckIv Lowurd IIs
IookouL, LIe bov wILI LIe curLon.
"WIo eIse wunLs IILLIe Sumbo beIore we Luke IL on LIe Iumbo?
Speuk up, IudIes und genLIemen, wIo wunLs IILLIe . . . ?"
And uguIn LIe wIIsLIe. "WIo wunLs Sumbo, LIe duncIng, pruncIng?
Hurrv, Iurrv, IudIes und genLIemen. TIere's no IIcense Ior IILLIe Sumbo,
LIe jov spreuder. You cun'L Lux jov, so speuk up, IudIes und genLIemen . .
."
or u second our eves meL und Ie guve me u conLempLuous smIIe,
LIen Ie spIeIed uguIn. IeIL beLruved. Iooked uL LIe doII und IeIL mv
LIrouL consLrIcL. TIe ruge weIIed beIInd LIe pIIegm us rocked buck
on mv IeeIs und croucIed Iorwurd. TIere wus u IIusI oI wIILeness und
u spIuLLer IIke Ieuvv ruIn sLrIkIng u newspuper und suw LIe doII go
over buckwurds, wIILIng InLo u drIppIng rug oI IrIIIed LIssue, LIe IuLeIuI
Ieud upLurned on ILs ouLsLreLcIed neck sLIII grInnIng Lowurd LIe skv.
TIe crowd Lurned on me IndIgnunLIv. TIe wIIsLIe cume uguIn. suw u
sIorL poL-beIIIed mun Iook down, LIen up uL me wILI umuzemenL und
expIode wILI IuugILer, poInLIng Irom me Lo LIe doII, rockIng. PeopIe
bucked uwuv Irom me. suw CIIILon sLep cIose Lo LIe buIIdIng wIere
besIde LIe IeIIow wILI LIe curLon now suw u wIoIe cIorus-IIne oI doIIs
IIouncIng LIemseIves wILI u perverse Increuse oI energv und LIe crowd
IuugIIng IvsLerIcuIIv.
"You, vou!" begun, onIv Lo see IIm pIck up Lwo oI LIe doIIs und
sLep Iorwurd. BuL now LIe IookouL cume cIose. "He's comIng," Ie suId,
noddIng Lowurd LIe upproucIIng poIIcemun us Ie swepL up LIe doIIs,
droppIng LIem InLo LIe curLon und sLurLIng uwuv.
"oIIow IILLIe Sumbo uround LIe corner, IudIes und genLIemen,"
CIIILon cuIIed. "TIere's u greuL sIow comIng up . . ."
L Iuppened so IusL LIuL In u second onIv und un oId Iudv In u
bIue poIku-doL dress were IeIL. SIe Iooked uL me LIen buck Lo LIe wuIk,
smIIIng. suw one oI LIe doIIs. Iooked. SIe wus sLIII smIIIng und
ruIsed mv IooL Lo crusI IL, IeurIng Ier crv, "OI, no!" TIe poIIcemun
wus jusL opposILe und reucIed down InsLeud, pIckIng IL up und
wuIkIng oII In LIe sume moLIon. exumIned IL, sLrungeIv weIgILIess In
mv Iund, IuII expecLIng Lo IeeI IL puIse wILI IIIe. L wus u sLIII IrIII oI
puper. dropped IL In LIe pockeL wIere currIed BroLIer Turp's cIuIn
IInk und sLurLed uILer LIe vunIsIed crowd. BuL couIdn'L Iuce CIIILon
uguIn. dIdn'L wunL Lo see IIm. mIgIL IorgeL mvseII und uLLuck IIm.
wenL In LIe oLIer dIrecLIon, Lowurd SIxLI Avenue, pusL LIe poIIcemun.
WIuL u wuv Lo IInd IIm, LIougIL. WIuL Iud Iuppened Lo CIIILon? L
wus uII so wrong, so unexpecLed. How on eurLI couId Ie drop Irom
BroLIerIood Lo LIIs In so sIorL u LIme? And wIv II Ie Iud Lo IuII buck
dId Ie Lrv Lo currv LIe wIoIe sLrucLure wILI IIm? WIuL wouId non-
members wIo knew IIm suv? L wus us LIougI Ie Iud cIosen-Iow
Iud Ie puL IL LIe nIgIL Ie IougIL wILI Rus?-Lo IuII ouLsIde oI IIsLorv.
sLopped In LIe mIddIe oI LIe wuIk wILI LIe LIougIL. "To pIunge," Ie Iud
suId. BuL Ie knew LIuL onIv In LIe BroLIerIood couId we muke
ourseIves known, couId we uvoId beIng empLv Sumbo doIIs. SucI un
obscene IIouncIng oI evervLIIng Iumun! Mv God! And Iud been
worrvIng ubouL beIng IeIL ouL oI u meeLIng! 'd overIook IL u LIousund
LImes; no muLLer wIv wusn'L cuIIed. 'd IorgeL IL und IoId on
desperuLeIv Lo BroLIerIood wILI uII mv sLrengLI. or Lo breuk uwuv
wouId be Lo pIunge . . . To pIunge! And LIose doIIs, wIere Iud LIev
Iound LIem? WIv Iud Ie pIcked LIuL wuv Lo eurn u quurLer? WIv noL
seII uppIes or song sIeeLs, or sIIne sIoes?
wundered pusL LIe subwuv und conLInued uround LIe corner Lo
orLv-second SLreeL, mv mInd gruppIIng Ior meunIng. And wIen cume
uround LIe corner onLo LIe crowded wuIk InLo LIe sun, LIev were
uIreudv IInIng LIe curb und sIudIng LIeIr Iuces wILI LIeIr Iunds. suw
LIe LruIIIc movIng wILI LIe IIgILs, und ucross LIe sLreeL u Iew
pedesLrIuns were IookIng buck Lowurd LIe cenLer oI LIe bIock wIere LIe
Lrees oI BrvunL Purk rose ubove Lwo men. suw u IIIgIL oI pIgeons wIIrI
ouL oI LIe Lrees und IL uII Iuppened In LIe swIIL InLervuI oI LIeIr cIrcIIng,
verv ubrupLIv und In LIe noIse oI LIe LruIIIc-veL seemIng Lo unIoId In
mv mInd IIke u sIow-moLIon movIe run oII wILI LIe sound Lruck deud.
AL IIrsL LIougIL IL wus u cop und u sIoesIIne bov; LIen LIere wus
u breuk In LIe LruIIIc und ucross LIe sun-gIurIng bunds oI LroIIev ruIIs
recognIzed CIIILon. HIs purLner Iud dIsuppeured now und CIIILon Iud
LIe box sIung Lo IIs IeIL sIouIder wILI LIe cop movIng sIowIv beIInd
und Lo one sIde oI IIm. TIev were comIng mv wuv, pussIng u
newssLund, und suw LIe ruIIs In LIe uspIuIL und u IIre pIug uL LIe curb
und LIe IIvIng bIrds, und LIougIL, You'II Iuve Lo IoIIow und puv IIs IIne
. . . jusL us LIe cop pusIed IIm, joILIng IIm Iorwurd und CIIILon LrvIng
Lo keep LIe box Irom swIngIng uguInsL IIs Ieg und suvIng someLIIng
over IIs sIouIder und goIng Iorwurd us one oI LIe pIgeons swung down
InLo LIe sLreeL und up uguIn, IeuvIng u IeuLIer IIouLIng wIILe In LIe
duzzIIng buckIIgIL oI LIe sun, und couId see LIe cop pusI CIIILon
uguIn, sLeppIng soIIdIv Iorwurd In IIs bIuck sIIrL, IIs urm sIooLIng ouL
sLIIIIv, sendIng IIm In u Ieud-snuppIng Iorwurd sLumbIe unLII Ie
cuugIL IImseII, suvIng someLIIng over IIs sIouIder uguIn, LIe Lwo
movIng In u kInd oI murcI LIuL 'd seen munv LImes, buL never wILI
unvone IIke CIIILon. And couId see LIe cop burk u commund und Iunge
Iorwurd, LIrusLIng ouL IIs urm und mIssIng, LIrown oII buIunce us
suddenIv CIIILon spun on IIs Loes IIke u duncer und swung IIs rIgIL urm
over und uround In u sIorL, joILIng urc, IIs Lorso currvIng Iorwurd und
Lo LIe IeIL In u moLIon LIuL senL LIe box sLrup Iree us IIs rIgIL IooL
LruveIed Iorwurd und IIs IeIL urm IoIIowed LIrougI In u IIouLIng
uppercuL LIuL senL LIe cop's cup suIIIng InLo LIe sLreeL und IIs IeeL
IIvIng, Lo drop IIm Iurd, rockIng Irom IeIL Lo rIgIL on LIe wuIk us
CIIILon kIcked LIe box LIuddIng usIde und croucIed, IIs IeIL IooL
Iorwurd, IIs Iunds IIgI, wuILIng. And beLween LIe IIusIIng oI curs
couId see LIe cop proppIng IImseII on IIs eIbows IIke u drunk LrvIng Lo
geL IIs Ieud up, sIukIng IL und LIrusLIng IL Iorwurd-And somewIere
beLween LIe duII rour oI LruIIIc und LIe subwuv vIbruLIng underground
Ieurd rupId expIosIons und suw eucI pIgeon dIvIng wIIdIv us LIougI
bIuckjucked bv LIe sound, und LIe cop sILLIng up sLruIgIL now, und
rIsIng Lo IIs knees IookIng sLeudIIv uL CIIILon, und LIe pIgeons
pIummeLIng swIILIv InLo LIe Lrees, und CIIILon sLIII IucIng LIe cop und
suddenIv crumpIIng.
He IeII Iorwurd on IIs knees, IIke u mun suvIng IIs pruvers jusL us
u Ieuvv-seL mun In u IuL wILI u Lurned-down brIm sLepped Irom
uround LIe newssLund und veIIed u proLesL. couIdn'L move. TIe sun
seemed Lo screum un IncI ubove mv Ieud. Someone sIouLed. A Iew
men were sLurLIng InLo LIe sLreeL. TIe cop wus sLundIng now und
IookIng down uL CIIILon us LIougI surprIsed, LIe gun In IIs Iund. Look
u Iew sLeps Iorwurd, wuIkIng bIIndIv now, unLIInkIng, veL mv mInd
regIsLerIng IL uII vIvIdIv. Across und sLurLIng up on LIe curb, und seeIng
CIIILon up cIoser now, IvIng In LIe sume posILIon, on IIs sIde, u Iuge
weLness growIng on IIs sIIrL, und couIdn'L seL mv IooL down. Curs
suIIed cIose beIInd me, buL 1 couIdn'L Luke LIe sLep LIuL wouId ruIse me
up Lo LIe wuIk. sLood LIere, one Ieg In LIe sLreeL und LIe oLIer ruIsed
ubove LIe curb, IeurIng wIIsLIes screecIIng und Iooked Lowurd LIe
IIbrurv Lo see Lwo cops comIng on In u IungIng, bIg-beIIIed run. Iooked
buck Lo CIIILon, LIe cop wus wuvIng me uwuv wILI IIs gun, soundIng
IIke u bov wILI u cIungIng voIce.
"GeL buck on LIe oLIer sIde," Ie suId. He wus LIe cop LIuL 'd
pussed on orLv-LIIrd u Iew mInuLes beIore. Mv mouLI wus drv.
"He's u IrIend oI mIne, wunL Lo IeIp . . ." suId, IInuIIv sLeppIng
upon LIe curb.
"He don'L need no IeIp, JunIor. GeL ucross LIuL sLreeL!"
TIe cop's IuIr Iung on LIe sIdes oI IIs Iuce, IIs unIIorm wus dIrLv,
und wuLcIed IIm wILIouL emoLIon, IesILuLed, IeurIng LIe sound oI
IooLIuIIs upproucIIng. EvervLIIng seemed sIowed down. A pooI Iormed
sIowIv on LIe wuIk. Mv eves bIurred. ruIsed mv Ieud. TIe cop Iooked
uL me curIousIv. Above In LIe purk couId Ieur LIe IurIous IIuppIng oI
wIngs; on mv neck, LIe pressure oI eves. Lurned. A round-Ieuded,
uppIe-cIeeked bov wILI u LIIckIv IreckIed nose und SIuvIc eves Ieuned
over LIe Ience oI LIe purk ubove, und now us Ie suw me Lurn, Ie
sIrIIIed someLIIng Lo someone beIInd IIm, IIs Iuce IIgILIng up wILI
ecsLusv . . . WIuL does IL meun, wondered, LurnIng buck Lo LIuL Lo
wIIcI dId noL wIsI Lo Lurn.
TIere were LIree cops now, one wuLcIIng LIe crowd und LIe
oLIers IookIng uL CIIILon. TIe IIrsL cop Iud IIs cup on uguIn.
"ook, JunIor," Ie suId verv cIeurIv, " Iud enougI LroubIe Ior
Loduv-vou goIng Lo geL on ucross LIuL sLreeL?"
opened mv mouLI buL noLIIng wouId come. KneeIIng, one oI LIe
cops wus exumInIng CIIILon und mukIng noLes on u pud.
"'m IIs IrIend," suId, und LIe one mukIng noLes Iooked up.
"He's u cooked pIgeon, Muc," Ie suId. "You uIn'L goL unv IrIend unv
more."
Iooked uL IIm.
"Hev, MIckev," LIe bov ubove us cuIIed, "LIe guv's ouL coId!"
Iooked down. "TIuL's rIgIL," LIe kneeIIng cop suId. "WIuL's vour
nume?"
LoId IIm. unswered IIs quesLIons ubouL CIIILon us besL couId
unLII LIe wugon cume. or once IL cume quIckIv. wuLcIed numbIv us
LIev moved IIm InsIde, pIucIng LIe box oI doIIs In wILI IIm. Across LIe
sLreeL LIe crowd sLIII cIurned. TIen LIe wugon wus gone und sLurLed
buck Lowurd LIe subwuv.
"Suv, mIsLer," LIe bov's voIce sIrIIIed down. "Your IrIend sure
knows Iow Lo use IIs dukes. BIII, bung! One, Lwo, und LIe cop's on IIs
uss!"
bowed mv Ieud Lo LIIs IInuI LrIbuLe, und now wuIkIng uwuv In LIe
sun LrIed Lo eruse LIe scene Irom mv mInd.
WANDERED down LIe subwuv sLuIrs seeIng noLIIng, mv mInd
pIungIng. TIe subwuv wus cooI und Ieuned uguInsL u pIIIur, IeurIng
LIe rour oI LruIns pussIng ucross on LIe oLIer sIde, IeeIIng LIe rusIIng
rour oI uIr. WIv sIouId u mun deIIberuLeIv pIunge ouLsIde oI IIsLorv
und peddIe un obscenILv, mv mInd wenL on ubsLrucLedIv. WIv sIouId
Ie cIoose Lo dIsurm IImseII, gIve up IIs voIce und Ieuve LIe onIv
orgunIzuLIon oIIerIng IIm u cIunce Lo "deIIne" IImseII? TIe pIuLIorm
vIbruLed und Iooked down. BILs oI puper wIIrIed up In LIe pussuge oI
uIr, seLLIIng quIckIv us u LruIn moved pusL. WIv Iud Ie Lurned uwuv?
WIv Iud Ie cIosen Lo sLep oII LIe pIuLIorm und IuII beneuLI LIe LruIn?
WIv dId Ie cIoose Lo pIunge InLo noLIIngness, InLo LIe voId oI IuceIess
Iuces, oI soundIess voIces, IvIng ouLsIde IIsLorv? LrIed Lo sLep uwuv
und Iook uL IL Irom u dIsLunce oI words reud In books, IuII-
remembered. or IIsLorv records LIe puLLerns oI men's IIves, LIev suv:
WIo sIepL wILI wIom und wILI wIuL resuILs; wIo IougIL und wIo won
und wIo IIved Lo IIe ubouL IL uILerwurds. AII LIIngs, IL Is suId, ure duIv
recorded-uII LIIngs oI ImporLunce, LIuL Is. BuL noL quILe, Ior ucLuuIIv IL
Is onIv LIe known, LIe seen, LIe Ieurd und onIv LIose evenLs LIuL LIe
recorder regurds us ImporLunL LIuL ure puL down, LIose IIes IIs keepers
keep LIeIr power bv. BuL LIe cop wouId be CIIILon's IIsLorIun, IIs judge,
IIs wILness, und IIs execuLIoner, und wus LIe onIv broLIer In LIe
wuLcIIng crowd. And , LIe onIv wILness Ior LIe deIense, knew neILIer
LIe exLenL oI IIs guIIL nor LIe nuLure oI IIs crIme. WIere were LIe
IIsLorIuns Loduv? And Iow wouId LIev puL IL down?
sLood LIere wILI LIe LruIns pIungIng In und ouL, LIrowIng bIue
spurks. WIuL dId LIev ever LIInk oI us LrunsILorv ones? Ones sucI us
Iud been beIore Iound BroLIerIood-bIrds oI pussuge wIo were Loo
obscure Ior Ieurned cIussIIIcuLIon, Loo sIIenL Ior LIe mosL sensILIve
recorders oI sound; oI nuLures Loo umbIguous Ior LIe mosL umbIguous
words, und Loo dIsLunL Irom LIe cenLers oI IIsLorIcuI decIsIon Lo sIgn or
even Lo uppIuud LIe sIgners oI IIsLorIcuI documenLs? We wIo wrILe no
noveIs, IIsLorIes or oLIer books. WIuL ubouL us, LIougIL, seeIng
CIIILon uguIn In mv mInd und goIng Lo sIL upon u bencI us u cooI gusL oI
uIr roIIed up LIe LunneI.
A bodv oI peopIe cume down LIe pIuLIorm, some oI LIem Negroes.
Yes, LIougIL, wIuL ubouL LIose oI us wIo sIooL up Irom LIe SouLI
InLo LIe busv cILv IIke wIId jucks-In-LIe-box broken Ioose Irom our
sprIngs-so sudden LIuL our guIL becomes IIke LIuL oI deep-seu dIvers
suIIerIng Irom LIe bends? WIuL ubouL LIose IeIIows wuILIng sLIII und
sIIenL LIere on LIe pIuLIorm, so sLIII und sIIenL LIuL LIev cIusI wILI LIe
crowd In LIeIr verv ImmobIIILv; sLundIng noIsv In LIeIr verv sIIence;
IursI us u crv oI Lerror In LIeIr quIeLness? WIuL ubouL LIose LIree bovs,
comIng now uIong LIe pIuLIorm, LuII und sIender, wuIkIng sLIIIIv wILI
swIngIng sIouIders In LIeIr weII-pressed, Loo-IoL-Ior-summer suILs,
LIeIr coIIurs IIgI und LIgIL ubouL LIeIr necks, LIeIr IdenLIcuI IuLs oI
bIuck cIeup IeIL seL upon LIe crowns oI LIeIr Ieuds wILI u severe
IormuIILv ubove LIeIr Iurd conked IuIr? L wus us LIougI 'd never seen
LIeIr IIke beIore: WuIkIng sIowIv, LIeIr sIouIders swuvIng, LIeIr Iegs
swIngIng Irom LIeIr IIps In Lrousers LIuL buIIooned upwurd Irom cuIIs
IILLIng snug ubouL LIeIr unkIes; LIeIr couLs Iong und IIp-LIgIL wILI
sIouIders Iur Loo broud Lo be LIose oI nuLuruI wesLern men. TIese
IeIIows wIose bodIes seemed-wIuL Iud one oI mv LeucIers suId oI me?
-"You're IIke one oI LIese AIrIcun scuIpLures, dIsLorLed In LIe InLeresL
oI u desIgn." WeII, wIuL desIgn und wIose?
sLured us LIev seemed Lo move IIke duncers In some kInd oI
IuneruI ceremonv, swuvIng, goIng Iorwurd, LIeIr bIuck Iuces secreL,
movIng sIowIv down LIe subwuv pIuLIorm, LIe Ieuvv IeeI-pIuLed sIoes
mukIng u rIvLImIcuI LuppIng us LIev moved. Evervone musL Iuve seen
LIem, or Ieurd LIeIr muLed IuugILer, or smeIIed LIe Ieuvv pomude on
LIeIr IuIr-or perIups IuIIed Lo see LIem uL uII. or LIev were men
ouLsIde oI IIsLorIcuI LIme, LIev were unLoucIed, LIev dIdn'L beIIeve In
BroLIerIood, no doubL Iud never Ieurd oI IL; or perIups IIke CIIILon
wouId mvsLerIousIv Iuve rejecLed ILs mvsLerIes; men oI LrunsILIon
wIose Iuces were ImmobIIe.
goL up und wenL beIInd LIem. Women sIoppers wILI bundIes
und ImpuLIenL men In sLruw IuLs und seersucker suILs sLood uIong LIe
pIuLIorm us LIev pussed. And suddenIv Iound mvseII LIInkIng, Do
LIev come Lo burv LIe oLIers or Lo be enLombed, Lo gIve IIIe or Lo
receIve IL? Do LIe oLIers see LIem, LIInk ubouL LIem, even LIose
sLundIng cIose enougI Lo speuk? And II LIev spoke buck, wouId LIe
ImpuLIenL busInessmen In convenLIonuI suILs und LIred IousewIves wILI
LIeIr pIunder, undersLund? WIuL wouId LIev suv? or LIe bovs speuk u
jIved-up LrunsILIonuI Iunguuge IuII oI counLrv gIumour, LIInk
LrunsILIonuI LIougILs, LIougI perIups LIev dreum LIe sume oId uncIenL
dreums. TIev were men ouL oI LIme-unIess LIev Iound BroLIerIood.
Men ouL oI LIme, wIo wouId soon be gone und IorgoLLen . . . BuL wIo
knew (und now begun Lo LrembIe so vIoIenLIv Iud Lo Ieun uguInsL u
reIuse cun)-wIo knew buL LIuL LIev were LIe suvIors, LIe Lrue Ieuders,
LIe beurers oI someLIIng precIous? TIe sLewurds oI someLIIng
uncomIorLubIe, burdensome, wIIcI LIev IuLed becuuse, IIvIng ouLsIde
LIe reuIm oI IIsLorv, LIere wus no one Lo uppIuud LIeIr vuIue und LIev
LIemseIves IuIIed Lo undersLund IL. WIuL II BroLIer Juck were wrong?
WIuL II IIsLorv wus u gumbIer, InsLeud oI u Iorce In u IuboruLorv
experImenL, und LIe bovs IIs uce In LIe IoIe? WIuL II IIsLorv wus noL u
reusonubIe cILIzen, buL u mudmun IuII oI purunoId guIIe und LIese bovs
IIs ugenLs, IIs bIg surprIse! HIs own revenge? or LIev were ouLsIde, In
LIe durk wILI Sumbo, LIe duncIng puper doII; LukIng IL on LIe Iumbo
wILI mv IuIIen broLIer, Tod CIIILon (Tod, Tod) runnIng und dodgIng
LIe Iorces oI IIsLorv InsLeud oI mukIng u domInuLIng sLund.
A LruIn cume. IoIIowed LIem InsIde. TIere were munv seuLs und
LIe LIree suL LogeLIer. sLood, IoIdIng onLo LIe cenLer poIe, IookIng
down LIe IengLI oI LIe cur. On one sIde suw u wIILe nun In bIuck
LeIIIng Ier beuds, und sLundIng beIore LIe door ucross LIe uIsIe LIere
wus unoLIer dressed compIeLeIv In wIILe, LIe exucL dupIIcuLe oI LIe
oLIer excepL LIuL sIe wus bIuck und Ier bIuck IeeL bure. NeILIer oI LIe
nuns wus IookIng uL LIe oLIer buL uL LIeIr crucIIIxes, und suddenIv
IuugIed und u verse 'd Ieurd Iong ugo uL LIe GoIden Duv purupIrused
ILseII In mv mInd:
Breud und WIne,
Breud und WIne,
Your cross uIn'L neurIv so
Heuvv us mIne . . .
And LIe nuns rode on wILI Iowered Ieuds.
Iooked uL LIe bovs. TIev suL us IormuIIv us LIev wuIked. rom
LIme Lo LIme one oI LIem wouId Iook uL IIs reIIecLIon In LIe wIndow und
gIve IIs IuL brIm u snup, LIe oLIers wuLcIIng IIm sIIenLIv,
communIcuLIng IronIcuIIv wILI LIeIr eves, LIen IookIng sLruIgIL uIeud.
sLuggered wILI LIe IungIng oI LIe LruIn, IeeIIng LIe overIeud Iuns
drIvIng LIe IoL uIr down upon me. WIuL wus In reIuLIon Lo LIe bovs,
wondered. PerIups un uccIdenL, IIke DougIuss. PerIups eucI Iundred
veurs or so men IIke LIem, IIke me, uppeured In socIeLv, drIILIng
LIrougI; und veL bv uII IIsLorIcuI IogIc we, , sIouId Iuve dIsuppeured
uround LIe IIrsL purL oI LIe nIneLeenLI cenLurv, ruLIonuIIzed ouL oI
exIsLence. PerIups, IIke LIem, wus u LIrowbuck, u smuII dIsLunL
meLeorILe LIuL dIed severuI Iundred veurs ugo und now IIved onIv bv
vIrLue oI LIe IIgIL LIuL speeds LIrougI spuce uL Loo greuL u puce Lo
reuIIze LIuL ILs source Ius become u pIece oI Ieud . . . TIIs wus sIIIv, sucI
LIougILs. Iooked uL LIe bovs; one Lupped unoLIer on LIe knee, und
suw IIm remove LIree roIIed muguzInes Irom un Inner pockeL, pussIng
Lwo uround und keepIng one Ior IImseII. TIe oLIers Look LIeIrs sIIenLIv
und begun Lo reud In compIeLe ubsorpLIon. One IeId IIs muguzIne IIgI
beIore IIs Iuce und Ior un InsLunL suw u vIvId scene: TIe sIInIng ruIIs,
LIe IIre IvdrunL, LIe IuIIen poIIcemun, LIe dIvIng bIrds und In LIe mId-
ground, CIIILon, crumpIIng. TIen suw LIe cover oI u comIc book und
LIougIL, CIIILon wouId Iuve known LIem beLLer LIun . He knew LIem
uII LIe LIme. sLudIed LIem cIoseIv unLII LIev IeIL LIe LruIn, LIeIr
sIouIders rockIng, LIeIr Ieuvv IeeI pIuLes cIIckIng remoLe, crvpLIc
messuges In LIe brIeI sIIence oI LIe LruIn's sLop.
cume ouL oI LIe subwuv, weuk, movIng LIrougI LIe IeuL us
LIougI currIed u Ieuvv sLone, LIe weIgIL oI u mounLuIn on mv
sIouIders. Mv new sIoes IurL mv IeeL. Now, movIng LIrougI LIe
crowds uIong 1z=LI SLreeL, wus puInIuIIv uwure oI oLIer men dressed
IIke LIe bovs, und oI gIrIs In durk exoLIc-coIored sLockIngs, LIeIr
cosLumes surreuI vurIuLIons oI downLown sLvIes. TIev'd been LIere uII
uIong, buL someIow 'd mIssed LIem. 'd mIssed LIem even wIen mv
work Iud been mosL successIuI. TIev were ouLsIde LIe groove oI
IIsLorv, und IL wus mv job Lo geL LIem In, uII oI LIem. Iooked InLo LIe
desIgn oI LIeIr Iuces, IurdIv u one LIuL wus unIIke someone 'd known
down SouLI. orgoLLen numes sung LIrougI mv Ieud IIke IorgoLLen
scenes In dreums. moved wILI LIe crowd, LIe sweuL pourIng oII me,
IIsLenIng Lo LIe grIndIng rour oI LruIIIc, LIe growIng sound oI u record
sIop Ioudspeuker bIurIng u IunguId bIues. sLopped. Wus LIIs uII LIuL
wouId be recorded? Wus LIIs LIe onIv Lrue IIsLorv oI LIe LImes, u mood
bIured bv LrumpeLs, Lrombones, suxopIones und drums, u song wILI
LurgId, InudequuLe words? Mv mInd IIowed. L wus us LIougI In LIIs
sIorL bIock wus Iorced Lo wuIk pusL evervone 'd ever known und no
one wouId smIIe or cuII mv nume. No one IIxed me In IIs eves. wuIked
In IeverIsI IsoIuLIon. Neur LIe corner now u coupIe oI bovs durLed ouL oI
LIe Ive und Ten wILI IundIuIs oI cundv burs, droppIng LIem uIong LIe
wuIks us LIev run wILI u mun rIgIL beIInd. TIev cume Lowurd me,
pumpIng pusL, und kIIIed un ImpuIse Lo LrIp LIe mun und wus
conIused uII LIe more wIen un oId womun sLundIng IurLIer uIong
LIrew ouL Ier Ieg und swung u Ieuvv bug. TIe mun wenL down, sIIdIng
ucross LIe wuIk us sIe sIook Ier Ieud In LrIumpI. A pressure oI guIIL
cume over me. sLood on LIe edge oI LIe wuIk wuLcIIng LIe crowd
LIreuLenIng Lo uLLuck LIe mun unLII u poIIcemun uppeured und
dIspersed LIem. And uILIougI knew no one mun couId do mucI ubouL
IL, IeIL responsIbIe. AII our work Iud been verv IILLIe, no greuL cIunge
Iud been mude. And IL wus uII mv IuuIL. 'd been so IuscInuLed bv LIe
moLIon LIuL 'd IorgoLLen Lo meusure wIuL IL wus brIngIng IorLI. 'd
been usIeep, dreumIng.
CIupLer z1
WIen goL buck Lo LIe dIsLrIcL u smuII group oI vouLI members
sLopped LIeIr jokIng Lo weIcome me, buL couIdn'L breuk LIe news.
wenL LIrougI Lo LIe oIIIce wILI onIv u nod, sIuLLIng LIe door upon LIeIr
voIces und suL sLurIng ouL LIrougI LIe Lrees. TIe once IresI green oI LIe
Lrees wus durk und drvIng now und somewIere down beIow u
cIoLIesIIne peddIer cIunged IIs beII und cuIIed. TIen, us IougIL
uguInsL IL, LIe scene cume buck-noL oI LIe deuLI, buL oI LIe doIIs. WIv
Iud IosL mv Ieud und spuL upon LIe doII, wondered. WIuL Iud
CIIILon IeIL wIen Ie suw me? He musL Iuve IuLed me beIInd IIs spIeI,
veL Ie'd Ignored me. Yes, und been umused bv mv poIILIcuI sLupIdILv.
Iud bIown up und ucLed personuIIv InsLeud oI denouncIng LIe
sIgnIIIcunce oI LIe doIIs, IIm, LIe obscene Ideu, und seIzIng LIe
opporLunILv Lo educuLe LIe crowd. We IosL no opporLunILv Lo educuLe,
und Iud IuIIed. AII 'd done wus Lo muke LIem IuugI uII LIe Iouder . . .
Iud uIded und ubeLLed socIuI buckwurdness . . . TIe scene cIunged-
Ie Iuv In LIe sun und LIIs LIme suw u LruII oI smoke IeIL bv u skv-
wrILIng pIune IIngerIng In LIe skv, u Iurge womun In u keIIv-green dress
sLood neur me suvIng, "OI, OI!" . . .
Lurned und Iuced LIe mup, removIng LIe doII Irom mv pockeL
und LossIng IL upon LIe desk. Mv sLomucI surged. To dIe Ior sucI u
LIIng! pIcked IL up wILI un uncIeun IeeIIng, Iooked uL LIe IrIIIed puper.
TIe joIned curdbourd IeeL Iung down, puIIIng LIe puper Iegs In eIusLIc
IoIds, u consLrucLIon oI LIssue, curdbourd und gIue. And veL IeIL u
IuLred us Ior someLIIng uIIve. WIuL Iud mude IL seem Lo dunce? Ls
curdbourd Iunds were doubIed InLo IIsLs, LIe IIngers ouLIIned In orunge
puInL, und noLIced LIuL IL Iud Lwo Iuces, one on eILIer sIde oI LIe dIsk
oI curdbourd, und boLI grInnIng. CIIILon's voIce cume Lo me us Ie
spIeIed IIs dIrecLIons Ior mukIng IL dunce, und IeId IL bv LIe IeeL und
sLreLcIed ILs neck, seeIng IL crumpIe und sIIde Iorwurd. LrIed uguIn,
LurnIng ILs oLIer Iuce uround. L guve u LIred bounce, sIook ILseII und
IeII In u Ieup.
"Go on, enLerLuIn me," suId, gIvIng IL u sLreLcI. "You enLerLuIned
LIe crowd." Lurned IL uround. One Iuce grInned us broudIv us LIe
oLIer. L Iud grInned buck uL CIIILon us IL grInned Iorwurd uL LIe crowd,
und LIeIr enLerLuInmenL Iud been IIs deuLI. L Iud sLIII grInned wIen
pIuved LIe LooI und spuL upon IL, und IL wus sLIII grInnIng wIen CIIILon
Ignored me. TIen suw u IIne bIuck LIreud und puIIed IL Irom LIe
LrIIIed puper. TIere wus u Ioop LIed In LIe end. sIIpped IL over mv
IInger und sLood sLreLcIIng IL LuuL. And LIIs LIme IL dunced. CIIILon Iud
been mukIng IL dunce uII LIe LIme und LIe bIuck LIreud Iud been
InvIsIbIe.
WIv dIdn'L vou IIL IIm? usked mvseII; Lrv Lo breuk IIs juw? WIv
dIdn'L vou IurL IIm und suve IIm? You mIgIL Iuve sLurLed u IIgIL und
boLI oI vou wouId Iuve been urresLed wILI no sIooLIng . . . BuL wIv Iud
Ie resIsLed LIe cop unvwuv? He'd been urresLed beIore; Ie knew Iow
Iur Lo go wILI u cop. WIuL Iud LIe cop suId Lo muke IIm ungrv enougI
Lo Iose IIs Ieud? And suddenIv IL occurred Lo me LIuL Ie mIgIL Iuve
been ungrv beIore Ie resIsLed, beIore Ie'd even seen LIe cop. Mv breuLI
becume sIorL; IeIL mvseII go weuk. WIuL II Ie beIIeved 'd soId ouL? L
wus u sIckenIng LIougIL. suL IoIdIng mvseII us LIougI mIgIL breuk.
or u momenL weIgIed LIe Ideu, buL IL wus Loo bIg Ior me. couId onIv
uccepL responsIbIIILv Ior LIe IIvIng, noL Ior LIe deud. Mv mInd bucked
uwuv Irom LIe noLIon. TIe IncIdenL wus poIILIcuI. Iooked uL LIe doII,
LIInkIng, TIe poIILIcuI equIvuIenL oI sucI enLerLuInmenL Is deuLI. BuL
LIuL's Loo broud u deIInILIon. Ls economIc meunIng? TIuL LIe IILe oI u
mun Is worLI LIe suIe oI u Lwo-bIL puper doII . . . BuL LIuL dIdn'L kIII LIe
Ideu LIuL mv unger IeIped speed IIm on Lo deuLI. And sLIII mv mInd
IougIL uguInsL IL. or wIuL Iud Lo do wILI LIe crIsIs LIuL Iud broken
IIs InLegrILv? WIuL Iud Lo do wILI IIs seIIIng LIe doIIs In LIe IIrsL
pIuce? And IInuIIv Iud Lo gIve LIuL up Loo. wus no deLecLIve, und,
poIILIcuIIv, IndIvIduuIs were wILIouL meunIng. TIe sIooLIng wus uII LIuL
wus IeIL oI IIm now, CIIILon Iud cIosen Lo pIunge ouL oI IIsLorv und,
excepL Ior LIe pIcLure IL mude In mv mInd's eve, onIv LIe pIunge wus
recorded, und LIuL wus LIe onIv ImporLunL LIIng.
suL rIgId, us LIougI wuILIng Lo Ieur LIe expIosIons uguIn, IIgILIng
uguInsL LIe weIgIL LIuL seemed Lo puII me down. Ieurd LIe cIoLIesIIne
peddIer's beII . . . WIuL wouId LeII LIe commILLee wIen LIe newspuper
uccounLs were ouL? To IeII wILI LIem. How wouId expIuIn LIe doIIs?
BuL wIv sIouId suv unvLIIng? WIuL couId we do Lo IIgIL buck. TIuL
wus mv worrv. TIe beII LoIIed uguIn In LIe vurd beIow. Iooked uL LIe
doII. couId LIInk oI no jusLIIIcuLIon Ior CIIILon's IuvIng soId LIe doIIs,
buL LIere wus jusLIIIcuLIon enougI Ior gIvIng IIm u pubIIc IuneruI, und
seIzed upon LIe Ideu now us LIougI IL wouId suve mv IIIe. Even LIougI
wunLed Lo Lurn uwuv Irom IL us 'd wunLed Lo Lurn Irom CIIILon's
crumpIed bodv on LIe wuIk. BuL LIe odds uguInsL us were Loo greuL Ior
sucI weukness. We Iud Lo use everv poIILIcuIIv eIIecLIve weupon uguInsL
LIem; CIIILon undersLood LIuL. He Iud Lo be burIed und knew oI no
reIuLIves; someone Iud Lo see LIuL Ie wus pIuced In LIe ground. Yes, LIe
doIIs were obscene und IIs ucL u beLruvuI. BuL Ie wus onIv u suIesmun,
noL LIe InvenLor, und IL wus necessurv LIuL we muke IL known LIuL LIe
meunIng oI IIs deuLI wus greuLer LIun LIe IncIdenL or LIe objecL LIuL
cuused IL. BoLI us u meuns oI uvengIng IIm und oI prevenLIng oLIer
sucI deuLIs . . . ves, und oI uLLrucLIng IosL members buck InLo LIe runks.
L wouId be ruLIIess, buL u ruLIIessness In LIe InLeresL oI BroLIerIood,
Ior we Iud onIv our mInds und bodIes, us uguInsL LIe oLIer sIde's vusL
power. We Iud Lo muke LIe mosL oI wIuL we Iud. or LIev Iud LIe
power Lo use u puper doII, IIrsL Lo desLrov IIs InLegrILv und LIen us un
excuse Ior kIIIIng IIm. AII rIgIL, so we'II use IIs IuneruI Lo puL IIs
InLegrILv LogeLIer uguIn . . . or LIuL's uII LIuL Ie Iud Iud or wunLed.
And now couId see LIe doII onIv vugueIv und drops oI moIsLure were
LIuddIng down upon ILs ubsorbenL puper . . .
wus benL over, sLurIng, wIen LIe knock cume uL LIe door und
jumped us uL u sIoL, sweepIng LIe doII InLo mv pockeL, und IusLIIv
wIpIng mv eves.
"Come In," suId.
TIe door opened sIowIv. A group oI vouLI members crowded
Iorwurd, LIeIr Iuces u quesLIon. TIe gIrIs were crvIng.
"s IL Lrue?" LIev suId.
"TIuL Ie Is deud? Yes," suId, IookIng umong LIem. "Yes."
"BuL wIv . . . ?"
"L wus u cuse oI provocuLIon und murder!" suId, mv emoLIons
begInnIng Lo Lurn Lo unger.
TIev sLood LIere, LIeIr Iuces quesLIonIng me.
"He's deud," u gIrI suId, Ier voIce wILIouL convIcLIon. "Deud."
"BuL wIuL do LIev meun ubouL IIs seIIIng doIIs?" u LuII vouLI suId.
" don'L know," suId. " onIv know LIuL Ie wus sIoL down.
Unurmed. know Iow vou IeeI, suw IIm IuII."
"Tuke me Iome," u gIrI screumed. "Tuke me Iome!"
sLepped Iorwurd und cuugIL Ier, u IILLIe brown LIIng In bobbv
socks, IoIdIng Ier uguInsL me. "No, we cun'L go Iome," suId, "none oI
us. We've goL Lo IIgIL. 'd IIke Lo geL ouL InLo LIe uIr und IorgeL IL, II
ever couId. WIuL we wunL Is noL Leurs buL unger. We musL remember
now LIuL we ure IIgILers, und In sucI IncIdenLs we musL see LIe
meunIng oI our sLruggIe. We musL sLrIke buck. wunL eucI oI vou Lo
round up uII LIe members vou cun. We've goL Lo muke our repIv."
One oI LIe gIrIs wus sLIII crvIng pILeousIv wIen LIev wenL ouL, buL
LIev were movIng quIckIv.
"Come on, SIIrIev," LIev suId, LukIng LIe gIrI Irom mv sIouIder.
LrIed Lo geL In LoucI wILI IeudquurLers, buL uguIn wus unubIe Lo
reucI unvone. cuIIed LIe CILIonIun buL LIere wus no unswer. So
cuIIed u commILLee oI LIe dIsLrIcL's IeudIng members und we moved
sIowIv uIeud on our own. LrIed Lo IInd LIe vouLI wIo wus wILI CIIILon,
buL Ie Iud dIsuppeured. Members were seL on LIe sLreeLs wILI cuns Lo
soIIcIL Iunds Ior IIs burIuI. A commILLee oI LIree oId women wenL Lo LIe
morgue Lo cIuIm IIs bodv. We dIsLrIbuLed bIuck-bordered IeuIIeLs,
denouncIng LIe poIIce commIssIoner. PreucIers were noLIIIed Lo Iuve
LIeIr congreguLIons send IeLLers oI proLesL Lo LIe muvor. TIe sLorv
spreud. A pIoLogrupI oI CIIILon wus senL Lo LIe Negro pupers und
pubIIsIed. PeopIe were sLIrred und ungrv. SLreeL meeLIngs were
orgunIzed. And, reIeused (bv LIe ucLIon) Irom mv IndecIsIon, LIrew
evervLIIng Iud InLo orgunIzIng LIe IuneruI, LIougI movIng In u kInd
oI numb suspensIon. dIdn'L go Lo bed Ior Lwo duvs und nIgILs, buL
cuugIL cuLnups uL mv desk. uLe verv IILLIe.
THE IuneruI wus urrunged Lo uLLrucL LIe IurgesL number. nsLeud
oI IoIdIng IL In u cIurcI or cIupeI, we seIecLed MounL MorrIs Purk, und
un uppeuI wenL ouL Ior uII Iormer members Lo joIn LIe IuneruI murcI.
L Look pIuce on u SuLurduv, In LIe IeuL oI LIe uILernoon. TIere
wus u LIIn overcusL oI cIouds, und Iundreds oI peopIe Iormed Ior LIe
processIon. wenL uround gIvIng orders und encourugemenL In u
IeverIsI duze, und veL seemIng Lo observe IL uII Irom oII Lo one sIde.
BroLIers und sIsLers Lurned up wIom Iudn'L seen sInce mv reLurn.
And members Irom downLown und ouLIvIng dIsLrIcLs. wuLcIed LIem
wILI surprIse us LIev guLIered und wondered uL LIe depLIs oI LIeIr
sorrow us LIe IInes begun Lo Iorm.
TIere were IuII-druped IIugs und bIuck bunners. TIere were
bIuck-bordered sIgns LIuL reud:
BROTHER TOD CTON
OUR HOPE SHOT DOWN
TIere wus u IIred drum corps wILI crupe-druped drums. TIere
wus u bund oI LIIrLv pIeces. TIere were no curs und verv Iew IIowers.
L wus u sIow processIon und LIe bund pIuved sud, romunLIc,
mIIILurv murcIes. And wIen LIe bund wus sIIenL LIe drum corps beuL
LIe LIme on drums wILI muIIIed Ieuds. L wus IoL und expIosIve, und
deIIverv men uvoIded LIe dIsLrIcL und LIe poIIce deLuIIs were Increused
In number. And up und down LIe sLreeLs peopIe Iooked ouL oI LIeIr
upurLmenL wIndows und men und bovs sLood on LIe rooIs In LIe LIIn-
veIIed sun. murcIed uL LIe Ieud wILI LIe oId communILv Ieuders. L
wus u sIow murcI und us Iooked buck Irom LIme Lo LIme couId see
voung zooL-suILers, Iep cuLs, und men In overuIIs und pooI-IuII
gumbIers sLeppIng InLo LIe processIon. Men cume ouL oI burber sIops
wILI IuLIered Iuces, LIeIr neckcIoLIs IungIng, Lo wuLcI und commenL In
IusIed voIces. And wondered, Are LIev uII CIIILon's IrIends, or Is IL
jusL Ior LIe specLucIe, LIe sIow-puced musIc? A IoL wInd bIew Irom
beIInd me, brIngIng LIe sIck sweeLIsI odor, IIke LIe smeII oI some
IemuIe dogs In seuson.
Iooked buck. TIe sun sIone down on u muss oI unbured Ieuds,
und ubove IIugs und bunners und sIInIng Iorns couId see LIe cIeup
gruv coIIIn movIng IIgI upon LIe sIouIders oI CIIILon's LuIIesL
compunIons, wIo Irom LIme Lo LIme sIIILed IL smooLIIv on Lo oLIers.
TIev bore IIm IIgI und LIev bore IIm proudIv und LIere wus un ungrv
sudness In LIeIr eves. TIe coIIIn IIouLed IIke u IeuvIIv Iouded sIIp In u
cIunneI, wIndIng ILs wuv sIowIv ubove LIe bowed und submerged
Ieuds. couId Ieur LIe sLeudv roIIIng oI LIe drums wILI muIIIed snures,
und uII oLIer sounds were suspended In sIIence. BeIInd, LIe Lrump oI
IeeL; uIeud, LIe crowds IInIng LIe curbs Ior bIocks. TIere were Leurs
und muIIIed sobs und munv Iurd, red eves. We moved uIeud.
We wound LIrougI LIe pooresL sLreeLs uL IIrsL, u bIuck Imuge oI
sorrow, LIen Lurned InLo SevenLI Avenue und down und over Lo enox.
TIen IurrIed wILI LIe IeudIng broLIers Lo LIe purk In u cub. A broLIer
In LIe Purk DepurLmenL Iud opened LIe IookouL Lower, und u crude
pIuLIorm oI pIunks und runked suw Iorses Iud been erecLed beneuLI
LIe bIuck Iron beII, und wIen LIe processIon sLurLed InLo LIe purk we
were sLundIng IIgI ubove, wuILIng. AL our sIgnuI Ie sLruck LIe beII, und
couId IeeI mv eurdrums LIrobbIng wILI LIe oId, IoIIow, guL-vIbrunL
Doom-Dong-Doom.
ookIng down, couId see LIem wIndIng upwurd In u muss Lo LIe
muIIIed sound oI LIe drums. CIIIdren sLopped LIeIr pIuvIng on LIe
gruss Lo sLure, und nurses uL LIe neurbv IospILuI cume ouL on LIe rooI Lo
wuLcI, LIeIr wIILe unIIorms gIowIng In LIe now unveIIed sun IIke IIIIes.
And crowds upproucIed LIe purk Irom uII dIrecLIons. TIe muIIIed
drums now beuLIng, now sLeudIIv roIIIng, spreud u deud sIIence upon
LIe uIr, u pruver Lor LIe unknown soIdIer. And IookIng down IeIL u
IosLness. WIv were LIev Iere? WIv Iud LIev Iound us? Becuuse LIev
knew CIIILon? Or Ior LIe occusIon IIs deuLI guve LIem Lo express LIeIr
proLesLuLIons, u LIme und pIuce Lo come LogeLIer, Lo sLund LoucIIng und
sweuLIng und breuLIIng und IookIng In u common dIrecLIon? Wus eILIer
expIunuLIon udequuLe In ILseII? DId IL sIgnIIv Iove or poIILIcuIIzed IuLe?
And couId poIILIcs ever be un expressIon oI Iove?
Over LIe purk LIe sIIence spreud Irom LIe sIow muIIIed roIIIng oI
LIe drums, LIe cruncIIng oI IooLsLeps on LIe wuIks. TIen somewIere In
LIe processIon un oId, pIuInLIve, muscuIIne voIce urose In u song,
wuverIng, sLumbIIng In LIe sIIence uL IIrsL uIone, unLII In LIe bund u
eupIonIum Iorn IumbIed Ior LIe kev und Look up LIe uIr, one cuLcIIng
und rIsIng ubove LIe oLIer und LIe oLIer pursuIng, Lwo bIuck pIgeons
rIsIng ubove u skuII-wIILe burn Lo LumbIe und rIse LIrougI sLIII, bIue
uIr. And Ior u Iew burs LIe pure sweeL Lone oI LIe Iorn und LIe oId
mun's Iuskv burILone sung u dueL In LIe IoL Ieuvv sIIence. "TIere's
Munv u TIousund Gone." And sLundIng IIgI up over LIe purk
someLIIng IougIL In mv LIrouL. L wus u song Irom LIe pusL, LIe pusL oI
LIe cumpus und LIe sLIII eurIIer pusL oI Iome. And now some oI LIe
oIder ones In LIe muss were joInIng In. Iudn'L LIougIL oI IL us u murcI
beIore, buL now LIev were murcIIng Lo ILs sIow-puced rIvLIm, up LIe
IIII. Iooked Ior LIe eupIonIum pIuver und suw u sIender bIuck mun
wILI IIs Iuce Lurned Lowurd LIe sun, sIngIng LIrougI LIe upLurned beIIs
oI LIe Iorn. And severuI vurds beIInd, murcIIng besIde LIe voung men
IIouLIng LIe coIIIn upwurd, Iooked InLo LIe Iuce oI LIe oId mun wIo
Iud uroused LIe song und IeIL u LwInge oI envv. L wus u worn, oId,
veIIow Iuce und IIs eves were cIosed und couId see u knIIe weIL uround
IIs upLurned neck us IIs LIrouL LIrew ouL LIe song. He sung wILI IIs
wIoIe bodv, pIrusIng eucI verse us nuLuruIIv us Ie wuIked, IIs voIce
rIsIng ubove uII LIe oLIers, bIendIng wILI LIuL oI LIe IucId Iorn.
wuLcIed IIm now, weL-eved, LIe sun IoL upon mv Ieud, und IeIL u
wonder uL LIe sIngIng muss. L wus us LIougI LIe song Iud been LIere
uII LIe LIme und Ie knew IL und uroused IL; und knew LIuL Iud known
IL Loo und Iud IuIIed Lo reIeuse IL ouL oI u vugue, numeIess sIume or
Ieur. BuL Ie Iud known und uroused IL. Even wIILe broLIers und sIsLers
were joInIng In. Iooked InLo LIuL Iuce, LrvIng Lo pIumb ILs secreL, buL IL
LoId me noLIIng. Iooked uL LIe coIIIn und LIe murcIers, IIsLenIng Lo
LIem, und veL reuIIzIng LIuL wus IIsLenIng Lo someLIIng wILIIn mvseII,
und Ior u second Ieurd LIe sIuLLerIng sLroke oI mv IeurL. SomeLIIng
deep Iud sIuken LIe crowd, und LIe oId mun und LIe mun wILI LIe
Iorn Iud done IL. TIev Iud LoucIed upon someLIIng deeper LIun
proLesL, or reIIgIon; LIougI now Imuges oI uII LIe cIurcI meeLIngs oI
mv IIIe weIIed up wILIIn me wILI mucI suppressed und IorgoLLen
unger. BuL LIuL wus pusL, und Loo munv oI LIose now reucIIng LIe Lop
oI LIe mounLuIn und spreudIng mussed LogeLIer Iud never sIured IL,
und some Iud been born In oLIer Iunds. And veL uII were LoucIed; LIe
song Iud uroused us uII. L wus noL LIe words, Ior LIev were uII LIe
sume oId sIuve-borne words; IL wus us LIougI Ie'd cIunged LIe
emoLIon beneuLI LIe words wIIIe veL LIe oId IongIng, resIgned,
LrunscendenL emoLIon sLIII sounded ubove, now deepened bv LIuL
someLIIng Ior wIIcI LIe LIeorv oI BroLIerIood Iud gIven me no nume.
sLood LIere LrvIng Lo conLuIn IL us LIev brougIL Tod CIIILon's coIIIn
InLo LIe Lower und sIowIv up LIe spIruI sLuIrs. TIev seL IL down upon LIe
pIuLIorm und Iooked uL LIe sIupe oI LIe cIeup gruv coIIIn und uII
couId remember wus LIe sound oI IIs nume.
TIe song Iud ended. Now LIe Lop oI LIe IILLIe mounLuIn brIsLIed
wILI bunners, Iorns und upIIILed Iuces. couId Iook sLruIgIL down IILI
Avenue Lo 1z=LI SLreeL, wIere poIIcemen were IIned beIInd un urruv oL
IoL-dog wugons und Good Humor curLs; und umong LIe curLs suw u
peunuL vendor sLundIng beneuLI u sLreeL Iump upon wIIcI pIgeons
were guLIered, und now suw IIm sLreLcI ouL IIs urms wILI IIs puIms
Lurned upwurd, und suddenIv Ie wus covered, Ieud, sIouIders und
ouLIIung urms, wILI IIuLLerIng, IeusLIng bIrds.
Someone nudged me und sLurLed. L wus LIme Ior IInuI words. BuL
Iud no words und 'd never been Lo u BroLIerIood IuneruI und Iud no
Ideu oI u rILuuI. BuL LIev were wuILIng. sLood LIere uIone; LIere wus no
mIcropIone Lo supporL me, onIv LIe coIIIn beIore me upon LIe bucks oI
ILs wobbIv curpenLer's Iorses.
Iooked down InLo LIeIr sun-swepL Iuces, dIggIng Ior LIe words,
und IeeIIng u IuLIIILv ubouL IL uII und un unger. or LIIs LIev guLIered bv
LIousunds. WIuL were LIev wuILIng Lo Ieur? WIv Iud LIev come? or
wIuL reuson LIuL wus dIIIerenL Irom LIuL wIIcI Iud mude LIe red-
cIeeked bov LIrIII uL CIIILon's IuIIIng Lo LIe eurLI? WIuL dId LIev wunL
und wIuL couId LIev do? WIv Iudn'L LIev come wIen LIev couId Iuve
sLopped IL uII?
"WIuL ure vou wuILIng Ior me Lo LeII vou?" sIouLed suddenIv, mv
voIce sLrungeIv crIsp on LIe wIndIess uIr. "WIuL good wIII IL do? WIuL II
suv LIuL LIIs Isn'L u IuneruI, LIuL IL's u IoIIduv ceIebruLIon, LIuL II vou
sLIck uround LIe bund wIII end up pIuvIng 'DumIL-LIe-HeII LIe un's AII
Over'? Or do vou expecL Lo see some mugIc, LIe deud rIse up und wuIk
uguIn? Go Iome, Ie's us deud us Ie'II ever dIe. TIuL's LIe end In LIe
begInnIng und LIere's no encore. TIere'II be no mIrucIes und LIere's no
one Iere Lo preucI u sermon. Go Iome, IorgeL IIm. He's InsIde LIIs
box, newIv deud. Go Iome und don'L LIInk ubouL IIm. He's deud und
vou've goL uII vou cun do Lo LIInk ubouL vou." puused. TIev were
wIIsperIng und IookIng upwurd.
"'ve LoId vou Lo go Iome," sIouLed, "buL vou keep sLundIng
LIere. Don'L vou know IL's IoL ouL Iere In LIe sun? So wIuL II vou wuIL
Ior wIuL IILLIe cun LeII vou? Cun suv In LwenLv mInuLes wIuL wus
buIIdIng LwenLv-one veurs und ended In LwenLv seconds? WIuL ure vou
wuILIng Ior, wIen uII cun LeII vou Is IIs nume? And wIen LeII vou,
wIuL wIII vou know LIuL vou dIdn'L know uIreudv, excepL perIups, IIs
nume?"
TIev were IIsLenIng InLenLIv, und us LIougI IookIng noL uL me, buL
uL LIe puLLern oI mv voIce upon LIe uIr.
"AII rIgIL, vou do LIe IIsLenIng In LIe sun und 'II Lrv Lo LeII vou In
LIe sun. TIen vou go Iome und IorgeL IL. orgeL IL. HIs nume wus
CIIILon und LIev sIoL IIm down. HIs nume wus CIIILon und Ie wus LuII
und some IoIks LIougIL IIm Iundsome. And LIougI Ie dIdn'L beIIIve IL,
LIInk Ie wus. HIs nume wus CIIILon und IIs Iuce wus bIuck und IIs
IuIr wus LIIck wILI LIgIL-roIIed curIs-or cuII LIem nups or kInks. He's
deud, unInLeresLed, und, excepL Lo u Iew voung gIrIs, IL doesn'L muLLer . .
. Huve vou goL IL? Cun vou see IIm? TIInk oI vour broLIer or vour
cousIn JoIn. HIs IIps were LIIck wILI un upwurd curve uL LIe corners.
He oILen smIIed. He Iud good eves und u puIr oI IusL Iunds, und Ie Iud
u IeurL. He LIougIL ubouL LIIngs und Ie IeIL deepIv. won'L cuII IIm
nobIe becuuse wIuL's sucI u word Lo do wILI one oI us? HIs nume wus
CIIILon, Tod CIIILon, und, IIke unv mun, Ie wus born oI womun Lo IIve
uwIIIe und IuII und dIe. So LIuL's IIs LuIe Lo LIe mInuLe. HIs nume wus
CIIILon und Ior u wIIIe Ie IIved umong us und uroused u Iew Iopes In
LIe voung munIood oI mun, und we wIo knew IIm Ioved IIm und Ie
dIed. So wIv ure vou wuILIng? You've Ieurd IL uII. WIv wuIL Ior more,
wIen uII cun do Is repeuL IL?"
TIev sLood; LIev IIsLened. TIev guve no sIgn.
"Verv weII, so 'II LeII vou. HIs nume wus CIIILon und Ie wus voung
und Ie wus u Ieuder und wIen Ie IeII LIere wus u IoIe In LIe IeeI oI IIs
sock und wIen Ie sLreLcIed Iorwurd Ie seemed noL us LuII us wIen Ie
sLood. So Ie dIed; und we wIo Ioved IIm ure guLIered Iere Lo mourn
IIm. L's us sImpIe us LIuL und us sIorL us LIuL. HIs nume wus CIIILon
und Ie wus bIuck und LIev sIoL IIm. sn'L LIuL enougI Lo LeII? sn'L IL uII
vou need Lo know? sn'L LIuL enougI Lo uppeuse vour LIIrsL Ior drumu
und send vou Iome Lo sIeep IL oII? Go Luke u drInk und IorgeL IL. Or
reud IL In TIe DuIIv News. HIs nume wus CIIILon und LIev sIoL IIm, und
wus LIere Lo see IIm IuII. So know IL us know IL.
"Here ure LIe IucLs. He wus sLundIng und Ie IeII. He IeII und Ie
kneeIed. He kneeIed und Ie bIed. He bIed und Ie dIed. He LeII In u Ieup
IIke unv mun und IIs bIood spIIIed ouL IIke unv bIood; red us unv bIood,
weL us unv bIood und reIIecLIng LIe skv und LIe buIIdIngs und bIrds und
Lrees, or vour Iuce II vou'd Iooked InLo ILs duIIIng mIrror-und IL drIed
In LIe sun us bIood drIes. TIuL's uII. TIev spIIIed IIs bIood und Ie bIed.
TIev cuL IIm down und Ie dIed; LIe bIood IIowed on LIe wuIk In u pooI,
gIeumed u wIIIe, und, uILer uwIIIe, becume duII LIen dusLv, LIen drIed.
TIuL's LIe sLorv und LIuL's Iow IL ended. L's un oId sLorv und LIere's
been Loo mucI bIood Lo excILe vou. BesIdes, IL's onIv ImporLunL wIen IL
IIIIs LIe veIns oI u IIvIng mun. Aren'L vou LIred oI sucI sLorIes? Aren'L
vou sIck oI LIe bIood? TIen wIv IIsLen, wIv don'L vou go? L's IoL ouL
Iere. TIere's LIe odor oI embuImIng IIuId. TIe beer Is coId In LIe
Luverns, LIe suxopIones wIII be meIIow uL LIe Suvov; pIenLv good-
IuugIIng-IIes wIII be LoId In LIe burber sIops und beuuLv purIors; und
LIere'II be sermons In Lwo Iundred cIurcIes In LIe cooI oI LIe evenIng,
und pIenLv oI IuugIs uL LIe movIes. Go IIsLen Lo 'Amos und Andv' und
IorgeL IL. Here vou Iuve onIv LIe sume oId sLorv. TIere's noL even u
voung wIIe up Iere In red Lo mourn IIm. TIere's noLIIng Iere Lo pILv,
no one Lo breuk down und sIouL. NoLIIng Lo gIve vou LIuL good oId
IrIgILened IeeIIng. TIe sLorv's Loo sIorL und Loo sImpIe. HIs nume wus
CIIILon, Tod CIIILon, Ie wus unurmed und IIs deuLI wus us senseIess us
IIs IIIe wus IuLIIe. He Iud sLruggIed Ior BroLIerIood on u Iundred
sLreeL corners und Ie LIougIL IL wouId muke IIm more Iumun, buL Ie
dIed IIke unv dog In u roud.
"AII rIgIL, uII rIgIL," cuIIed ouL, IeeIIng desperuLe. L wusn'L LIe
wuv wunLed IL Lo go, IL wusn'L poIILIcuI. BroLIer Juck probubIv
wouIdn'L upprove oI IL uL uII, buL Iud Lo keep goIng us couId go.
"IsLen Lo me sLundIng up on LIIs so-cuIIed mounLuIn!" sIouLed.
"eL me LeII IL us IL LruIv wus! HIs nume wus Tod CIIILon und Ie wus IuII
oI IIIusIons. He LIougIL Ie wus u mun wIen Ie wus onIv Tod CIIILon.
He wus sIoL Ior u sImpIe mIsLuke oI judgmenL und Ie bIed und IIs
bIood drIed und sIorLIv LIe crowd LrumpIed ouL LIe sLuIns. L wus u
normuI mIsLuke oI wIIcI munv ure guIILv: He LIougIL Ie wus u mun
und LIuL men were noL meunL Lo be pusIed uround. BuL IL wus IoL
downLown und Ie IorgoL IIs IIsLorv, Ie IorgoL LIe LIme und LIe pIuce.
He IosL IIs IoId on reuIILv. TIere wus u cop und u wuILIng uudIence buL
Ie wus Tod CIIILon und cops ure evervwIere. TIe cop? WIuL ubouL
IIm? He wus u cop. A good cILIzen. BuL LIIs cop Iud un ILcIIng IInger
und un euger eur Ior u word LIuL rIvmed wILI 'LrIgger,' und wIen
CIIILon IeII Ie Iud Iound IL. TIe PoIIce SpecIuI spoke ILs IInes und LIe
rIvme wus compIeLed. JusL Iook uround vou. ook uL wIuL Ie mude,
Iook InsIde vou und IeeI IIs uwIuI power. L wus perIecLIv nuLuruI. TIe
bIood run IIke bIood In u comIc-book kIIIIng, on u comIc-book sLreeL In
u comIc-book Lown on u comIc-book duv In u comIc-book worId.
"Tod CIIILon's one wILI LIe uges. BuL wIuL's LIuL Lo do wILI vou In
LIIs IeuL under LIIs veIIed sun? Now Ie's purL oI IIsLorv, und Ie Ius
receIved IIs Lrue Ireedom. DIdn'L LIev scrIbbIe IIs nume on u
sLundurdIzed pud? HIs Ruce: coIored! ReIIgIon: unknown, probubIv
born BupLIsL. PIuce oI bIrLI: U.S. Some souLIern Lown. NexL oI kIn:
unknown. Address: unknown. OccupuLIon: unempIoved. Cuuse oI
deuLI (be specIIIc): resIsLIng reuIILv In LIe Iorm oI u .8 cuIIber revoIver
In LIe Iunds oI LIe urresLIng oIIIcer, on orLv-second beLween LIe
IIbrurv und LIe subwuv In LIe IeuL oI LIe uILernoon, oI gunsIoL wounds
receIved Irom LIree buIIeLs, IIred uL LIree puces, one buIIeL enLerIng LIe
rIgIL venLrIcIe oI LIe IeurL, und IodgIng LIere, LIe oLIer severIng LIe
spInuI gungIIu LruveIIng downwurd Lo Iodge In LIe peIvIs, LIe oLIer
breukIng LIrougI LIe buck und LruveIIng God knows wIere.
"SucI wus LIe sIorL bILLer IIIe oI BroLIer Tod CIIILon. Now Ie's In
LIIs box wILI LIe boILs LIgILened down. He's In LIe box und we're In
LIere wILI IIm, und wIen 've LoId vou LIIs vou cun go. L's durk In LIIs
box und IL's crowded. L Ius u crucked ceIIIng und u cIogged-up LoIIeL In
LIe IuII. L Ius ruLs und roucIes, und IL's Iur, Iur Loo expensIve u
dweIIIng. TIe uIr Is bud und IL'II be coId LIIs wInLer. Tod CIIILon Is
crowded und Ie needs LIe room. 'TeII LIem Lo geL ouL oI LIe box,' LIuL's
wIuL Ie wouId suv II vou couId Ieur IIm. 'TeII LIem Lo geL ouL oI LIe
box und go LeucI LIe cops Lo IorgeL LIuL rIvme. TeII LIem Lo LeucI LIem
LIuL wIen LIev cuII vou nIgger Lo muke u rIvme wILI LrIgger IL mukes
LIe gun buckIIre.'
"So LIere vou Iuve IL. n u Iew Iours Tod CIIILon wIII be coId bones
In LIe ground. And don'L be IooIed, Ior LIese bones sIuII noL rIse uguIn.
You und wIII sLIII be In LIe box. don'L know II Tod CIIILon Iud u souI.
onIv know LIe ucIe LIuL IeeI In mv IeurL, mv sense oI Ioss. don'L
know II vou Iuve u souI. onIv know vou ure men oI IIesI und bIood;
und LIuL bIood wIII spIII und IIesI grow coId. do noL know II uII cops
ure poeLs, buL know LIuL uII cops currv guns wILI LrIggers. And know
Loo Iow we ure IubeIed. So In LIe nume oI BroLIer CIIILon bewure oI LIe
LrIggers; go Iome, keep cooI, sLuv suIe uwuv Irom LIe sun. orgeL IIm.
WIen Ie wus uIIve Ie wus our Iope, buL wIv worrv over u Iope LIuL's
deud? So LIere's onIv one LIIng IeIL Lo LeII und 've uIreudv LoId IL. HIs
nume wus Tod CIIILon, Ie beIIeved In BroLIerIood, Ie uroused our
Iopes und Ie dIed."
couIdn'L go on. BeIow, LIev were wuILIng, Iunds und
IundkercIIeIs sIudIng LIeIr eves. A preucIer sLepped up und reud
someLIIng ouL oI IIs BIbIe, und sLood IookIng uL LIe crowd wILI u
sense oI IuIIure. Iud IeL IL geL uwuv Irom me, Iud been unubIe Lo brIng
In LIe poIILIcuI Issues. And LIev sLood LIere sun-beuLen und sweuL-
buLIed, IIsLenIng Lo me repeuL wIuL wus known. Now LIe preucIer Iud
IInIsIed, und someone sIgnuIed LIe bundmusLer und LIere wus soIemn
musIc us LIe puIIbeurers currIed LIe coIIIn down LIe spIruIIng sLuIrs.
TIe crowd sLood sLIII us we wuIked sIowIv LIrougI. couId IeeI LIe
bIgness oI IL und LIe unknownness oI IL und u penL-up LensIon-
wIeLIer oI Leurs or unger, couIdn'L LeII. BuL us we wuIked LIrougI und
down LIe IIII Lo LIe Ieurse, couId IeeI IL. TIe crowd sweuLed und
LIrobbed, und LIougI IL wus sIIenL, LIere were munv LIIngs dIrecLed
Lowurd me LIrougI ILs eves. AL LIe curb were LIe Ieurse und u Iew curs,
und In u Iew mInuLes LIev were Iouded und LIe crowd wus sLIII
sLundIng, IookIng on us we currIed Tod CIIILon uwuv. And us Look one
IusL Iook suw noL u crowd buL LIe seL Iuces oI IndIvIduuI men und
women.
We drove uwuv und wIen LIe curs sLopped movIng LIere wus u
gruve und we pIuced IIm In IL. TIe gruvedIggers sweuLed IeuvIIv und
knew LIeIr busIness und LIeIr brogue wus rIsI. TIev IIIIed LIe gruve
quIckIv und we IeIL. Tod CIIILon wus underground.
reLurned LIrougI LIe sLreeLs us LIred us LIougI 'd dug LIe gruve
mvseII uIone. IeIL conIused und IIsLIess movIng LIrougI LIe crowds
LIuL seemed Lo boII uIong In u kInd oI mIsL, us LIougI LIe LIIn IumId
cIouds Iud LIIckened und seLLIed dIrecLIv ubove our Ieuds. wunLed Lo
go somewIere, Lo some cooI pIuce Lo resL wILIouL LIInkIng, buL LIere
wus sLIII Loo mucI Lo be done; pIuns Iud Lo be mude; LIe crowd's
emoLIon Iud Lo be orgunIzed. crepL uIong, wuIkIng u souLIern wuIk In
souLIern weuLIer, cIosIng mv eves Irom LIme Lo LIme uguInsL LIe
duzzIIng reds, veIIows und greens oI cIeup sporL sIIrLs und summer
dresses. TIe crowd boIIed, sweuLed, Ieuved; women wILI sIoppIng
bugs, men wILI IIgIIv poIIsIed sIoes. Even down SouLI LIev'd uIwuvs
sIIned LIeIr sIoes. "SIIned sIoes, sIoed sIInes," IL rung In mv Ieud.
On EIgILI Avenue, LIe murkeL curLs were purked Iub Lo Iub uIong LIe
curb, ImprovIsed cunopIes sIudIng LIe wILIerIng IruILs und vegeLubIes.
couId smeII LIe sLencI oI decuvIng cubbuge. A wuLermeIon IucksLer
sLood In LIe sIude besIde IIs Lruck, IoIdIng up u Iong sIIce oI orunge-
meuIed meIon, crvIng IIs wures wILI Iourse uppeuIs Lo nosLuIgIu,
memorIes oI cIIIdIood, green sIude und summer cooIness. Orunges,
cocounuLs und uIIIguLor peurs Iuv In neuL pIIes on IILLIe LubIes. pussed,
wIndIng mv wuv LIrougI LIe sIowIv movIng crowd. SLuIe und wIILed
IIowers, rejecLed downLown, bIuzed IeverIsIIv on u curL, IIke gIumorous
rugs IesLerIng beneuLI u IuLIIe spruv Irom u puncLured IruIL juIce cun.
TIe crowd were boIIIng IIgures seen LIrougI sLeumIng gIuss Irom
InsIde u wusIIng mucIIne; und In LIe sLreeLs LIe mounLed poIIce deLuII
sLood IookIng on, LIeIr eves noncommILLuI beneuLI LIe sIorL poIIsIed
vIsors oI LIeIr cups, LIeIr bodIes sIunLIng Iorwurd, reIns sIuckIv uIerL,
men und Iorses oI IIesI ImILuLIng men und Iorses oI sLone. Tod
CIIILon's Tod, LIougIL. TIe IucksLers crIed ubove LIe LruIIIc sounds
und seemed Lo Ieur LIem Irom u dIsLunce, unsure oI wIuL LIev suId.
n u sIde sLreeL cIIIdren wILI wurped LrIcvcIes were purudIng uIong LIe
wuIk currvIng one oI LIe sIgns, BROTHER TOD CTON, OUR HOPE
SHOT DOWN.
And LIrougI LIe Iuze uguIn IeIL LIe LensIon. TIere wus no
denvIng IL; IL wus LIere und someLIIng Iud Lo be done beIore IL
sImmered uwuv In LIe IeuL.
CIupLer zz
WIen suw LIem sILLIng In LIeIr sIIrLsIeeves, IeunIng Iorwurd,
grIppIng LIeIr crossed knees wILI LIeIr Iunds, wusn'L surprIsed. 'm
gIud IL's vou, LIougIL, LIIs wIII be busIness wILIouL Leurs. L wus us
LIougI Iud expecLed Lo IInd LIem LIere, jusL us In LIose dreums In
wIIcI encounLered mv grundIuLIer IookIng uL me Irom ucross LIe
dImensIonIess spuce oI u dreum-room. Iooked buck wILIouL surprIse
or emoLIon, uILIougI knew even In LIe dreum LIuL surprIse wus LIe
normuI reucLIon und LIuL LIe Iuck oI IL wus Lo be dIsLrusLed, u wurnIng.
sLood jusL InsIde LIe room, wuLcIIng LIem us sIIpped oII mv
juckeL, seeIng LIem grouped uround u smuII LubIe upon wIIcI LIere
resLed u pILcIer oI wuLer, u gIuss und u coupIe oI smokIng usI Lruvs.
One IuII oI LIe room wus durk und onIv one IIgIL burned, dIrecLIv
ubove LIe LubIe. TIev regurded me sIIenLIv, BroLIer Juck wILI u smIIe
LIuL wenL no deeper LIun IIs IIps, IIs Ieud cocked Lo one sIde, sLudvIng
me wILI IIs peneLruLIng eves; LIe oLIers bIunk-Iuced, IookIng ouL oI
eves LIuL were meunL Lo reveuI noLIIng und Lo sLIr proIound
uncerLuInLv. TIe smoke rose In spIruIs Irom LIeIr cIgureLLes us LIev suL
perIecLIv conLuIned, wuILIng. So vou cume, uILer uII, LIougIL, goIng
over und droppIng InLo one oI LIe cIuIrs. resLed mv urm on LIe LubIe,
noLIcIng ILs cooIness.
"WeII, Iow dId IL go?" BroLIer Juck suId, exLendIng IIs cIusped
Iunds ucross LIe LubIe und IookIng uL me wILI IIs Ieud Lo one sIde.
"You suw LIe crowd," suId. "We IInuIIv goL LIem ouL."
"No, we dId noL see LIe crowd. How wus IL?"
"TIev were moved," suId, "u greuL number oI LIem. BuL bevond
LIuL don'L know. TIev were wILI us, buL Iow Iur don'L know . . ." And
Ior u momenL couId Ieur mv own voIce In LIe quIeL oI LIe IIgI-
ceIIInged IuII.
"Sooo! s LIuL uII LIe greuL LucLIcIun Ius Lo LeII us?" BroLIer TobILL
suId. "n wIuL dIrecLIon were LIev moved?"
Iooked uL IIm, uwure oI LIe numbness oI mv emoLIons; LIev Iud
IIowed In one cIunneI Loo Iong und Loo deepIv.
"TIuL's Ior LIe commILLee Lo decIde. TIev were uroused, LIuL wus
uII we couId do. We LrIed uguIn und uguIn Lo reucI LIe commILLee Ior
guIdunce buL we couIdn'L."
"So?"
"So we wenL uIeud on mv personuI responsIbIIILv."
BroLIer Juck's eves nurrowed. "WIuL wus LIuL?" Ie suId. "Your
wIuL?"
"Mv personuI responsIbIIILv," suId.
"HIs personuI responsIbIIILv," BroLIer Juck suId. "DId vou Ieur
LIuL, BroLIers? DId Ieur IIm correcLIv. WIere dId vou geL IL,
BroLIer?" Ie suId. "TIIs Is usLoundIng, wIere dId vou geL IL?"
"rom vour mu -" sLurLed und cuugIL mvseII In LIme. "rom LIe
commILLee," suId.
TIere wus u puuse. Iooked uL IIm, IIs Iuce reddenIng, us LrIed
Lo geL mv beurIngs. A nerve LrembIed In LIe cenLer oI mv sLomucI.
"Evervone cume ouL," suId, LrvIng Lo IIII IL In. "We suw LIe
opporLunILv und LIe communILv ugreed wILI us. L's Loo bud vou mIssed
IL . . ."
"You see, Ie's sorrv we mIssed IL," BroLIer Juck suId. He IeId up
IIs Iund. couId see LIe deepIv eLcIed IInes In IIs puIm. "TIe greuL
LucLIcIun oI personuI responsIbIIILv regreLs our ubsence . . ."
Doesn'L Ie see Iow IeeI, LIougIL, cun'L Ie see wIv dId IL?
WIuL's Ie LrvIng Lo do? TobILL's u IooI, buL wIv Is Ie LukIng IL up?
"You couId Iuve Luken LIe nexL sLep," suId, IorcIng LIe words.
"We wenL us Iur us we couId . . ."
"On vour personuI re-spon-sI-bIIILv," BroLIer Juck suId, bowIng
IIs Ieud In LIme wILI LIe words.
Iooked uL IIm sLeudIIv now. " wus LoId Lo wIn buck our
IoIIowIng, so LrIed. TIe onIv wuv knew Iow. WIuL's vour crILIcIsm?
WIuL's wrong?"
"So now," Ie suId, rubbIng IIs eve wILI u deIIcuLe cIrcuIur
movemenL oI IIs IIsL, "LIe greuL LucLIcIun usks wIuL's wrong. s IL
possIbIe LIuL someLIIng couId be wrong? Do vou Ieur IIm, BroLIers?"
TIere wus u cougI. Someone poured u gIuss oI wuLer und couId
Ieur IL IIII up verv IusL, LIen LIe rupId rIII-IIke LrIckIe oI LIe IInuI drops
drIppIng Irom LIe pILcIer-IIp InLo LIe gIuss. Iooked uL IIm, mv mInd
LrvIng Lo brIng LIIngs InLo Iocus.
"You meun Ie udmILs LIe possIbIIILv oI beIng IncorrecL?" TobILL
suId.
"SIeer modesLv, BroLIer. TIe sIeeresL modesLv. We Iuve Iere un
exLruordInurv LucLIcIun, u NupoIeon oI sLruLegv und personuI
responsIbIIILv. 'SLrIke wIIIe LIe Iron Is IoL' Is IIs moLLo. 'SeIze LIe
InsLunce bv ILs LIrouL,' 'SIooL uL LIe wIILes oI LIeIr eves,' 'GIve 'em LIe
ux, LIe ux, LIe ux,' und so IorLI."
sLood up. " don'L know wIuL LIIs Is uII ubouL, BroLIer. WIuL ure
vou LrvIng Lo suv?"
"Now LIere Is u good quesLIon, BroLIers. SIL down, pIeuse, IL's IoL.
He wunLs Lo know wIuL we're LrvIng Lo suv. We Iuve Iere noL onIv un
exLruordInurv LucLIcIun, buL one wIo Ius un upprecIuLIon Ior subLIeLIes
oI expressIon."
"Yes, und Ior surcusm, wIen IL's good," suId.
"And Ior dIscIpIIne? SIL down, pIeuse, IL's IoL . . ."
"And Ior dIscIpIIne. And Ior orders und consuILuLIon wIen IL's
possIbIe Lo Iuve LIem," suId.
BroLIer Juck grInned. "SIL down, sIL down-And Ior puLIence?"
"WIen 'm noL sIeepv und exIuusLed," suId, "und noL overIeuLed
us um jusL now."
"You'II Ieurn," Ie suId. "You'II Ieurn und vou'II surrender vourseII
Lo IL even under sucI condILIons. EspecIuIIv under sucI condILIons;
LIuL's ILs vuIue. TIuL mukes IL puLIence."
"Yes, guess 'm IeurnIng now," suId. "RIgIL now."
"BroLIer," Ie suId drIIv, "vou Iuve no Ideu Iow mucI vou're
IeurnIng-PIeuse sIL down."
"AII rIgIL," suId, sILLIng down uguIn. "BuL wIIIe IgnorIng mv
personuI educuLIon Ior u second 'd IIke vou Lo remember LIuL LIe
peopIe Iuve IILLIe puLIence wILI us LIese duvs. We couId use LIIs LIme
more proIILubIv."
"And couId LeII vou LIuL poIILIcIuns ure noL personuI persons,"
BroLIer Juck suId, "buL won'L. How couId we use IL more proIILubIv?"
"Bv orgunIzIng LIeIr unger."
"So uguIn our greuL LucLIcIun Ius reIIeved IImseII. Toduv Ie's u
busv mun. IrsL un oruLIon over LIe bodv oI BruLus, und now u IecLure
on LIe puLIence oI LIe Negro peopIe."
TobILL wus enjovIng IImseII. couId see IIs cIgureLLe LrembIe In
IIs IIps us Ie sLruck u muLcI Lo IIgIL IL.
" move we Issue IIs remurks In u pumpIIeL," Ie suId, runnIng IIs
IInger over IIs cIIn. "TIev sIouId creuLe u nuLuruI pIenomenon . . ."
TIIs Iud beLLer sLop rIgIL Iere, LIougIL. Mv Ieud wus geLLIng
IIgILer und mv cIesL IeIL LIgIL.
"ook," suId, "un unurmed mun wus kIIIed. A broLIer, u IeudIng
member sIoL down bv u poIIcemun. We Iud IosL our presLIge In LIe
communILv. suw LIe cIunce Lo ruIIv LIe peopIe, so ucLed. I LIuL wus
IncorrecL, LIen dId wrong, so suv IL sLruIgIL wILIouL LIIs crup. L'II Luke
more LIun surcusm Lo deuI wILI LIuL crowd ouL LIere."
BroLIer Juck reddened; LIe oLIers excIunged gIunces.
"He Iusn'L reud LIe newspupers," someone suId.
"You IorgeL," BroLIer Juck suId, "IL wusn'L necessurv; Ie wus
LIere."
"Yes, wus LIere," suId. "I vou're reIerrIng Lo LIe kIIIIng."
"TIere, vou see," BroLIer Juck suId. "He wus on LIe scene."
BroLIer TobILL pusIed LIe LubIe edge wILI IIs puIms. "And sLIII
vou orgunIzed LIuL sIde sIow oI u IuneruI!"
Mv nose LwILcIed. Lurned Lowurd IIm deIIberuLeIv, IorcIng u
grIn.
"How couId LIere be u sIde sIow wILIouL vou us LIe sLur
uLLrucLIon, wIo'd druw LIe Lwo bILs udmIssIon, BroLIer TwobILs? WIuL
wus wrong wILI LIe IuneruI?"
"Now we're mukIng progress," BroLIer Juck suId, sLruddIIng IIs
cIuIr. "TIe sLruLegIsL Ius ruIsed u verv InLeresLIng quesLIon. WIuL's
wrong, Ie usks. AII rIgIL, 'II unswer. Under vour IeudersIIp, u
LruILorous mercIunL oI vIIe InsLrumenLs oI unLI-Negro, unLI-mInorILv
rucIsL bIgoLrv Ius receIved LIe IuneruI oI u Iero. Do vou sLIII usk wIuL's
wrong?"
"BuL noLIIng wus done ubouL u LruILor," suId.
He IuII-sLood, grIppIng LIe buck oI IIs cIuIr. "We uII Ieurd vou
udmIL IL."
"We drumuLIzed LIe sIooLIng down oI un unurmed bIuck mun."
He LIrew up IIs Iunds. To IeII wILI vou, LIougIL. To IeII wILI
vou. He wus u mun!
"TIuL bIuck mun, us vou cuII IIm, wus u LruILor," BroLIer Juck suId.
"A LruILor!"
"WIuL Is u LruILor, BroLIer?" usked, IeeIIng un ungrv umusemenL
us counLed on mv IIngers. "He wus u mun und u Negro; u mun und u
broLIer; u mun und u LruILor, us vou suv; LIen Ie wus u deud mun, und
uIIve or deud Ie wus jum-IuII oI conLrudIcLIons. So IuII LIuL Ie uLLrucLed
IuII oI HurIem Lo come ouL und sLund In LIe sun In unswer Lo our cuII.
So wIuL Is u LruILor?"
"So now Ie reLreuLs," BroLIer Juck suId. "Observe IIm, BroLIers.
AILer puLLIng LIe movemenL In LIe posILIon oI IorcIng u LruILor down
LIe LIrouLs oI LIe Negroes Ie usks wIuL u LruILor Is."
"Yes," suId. "Yes, und, us vou suv, IL's u IuIr quesLIon, BroLIer.
Some IoIks cuII me LruILor becuuse 've been workIng downLown; some
wouId cuII me u LruILor II wus In CIvII ServIce und oLIers II sImpIv suL
In mv corner und kepL quIeL. Sure, consIdered wIuL CIIILon dId -"
"And vou deIend IIm!"
"NoL Ior LIuL. wus us dIsgusLed us vou. BuL IeII, Isn'L LIe sIooLIng
oI un unurmed mun oI more ImporLunce poIILIcuIIv LIun LIe IucL LIuL Ie
soId obscene doIIs?"
"So vou exercIsed vour personuI responsIbIIILv," Juck suId.
"TIuL's uII Iud Lo go on. wusn'L cuIIed Lo LIe sLruLegv meeLIng,
remember."
"DIdn'L vou see wIuL vou were pIuvIng wILI?" TobILL suId. "Huve
vou no respecL Ior vour peopIe?"
"L wus u dungerous mIsLuke Lo gIve vou LIe opporLunILv," one oI
LIe oLIers suId.
Iooked ucross uL IIm. "TIe commILLee cun Luke IL uwuv, II IL
wIsIes. BuL meunLIme, wIv Is evervone so upseL? I even one-LenLI oI
LIe peopIe Iooked uL LIe doIIs us we do, our work wouId be u IoL eusIer.
TIe doIIs ure noLIIng."
"NoLIIng," Juck suId. "TIuL noLIIng LIuL mIgIL expIode In our
Iuce."
sIgIed. "Your Iuces ure suIe, BroLIer," suId. "Cun'L vou see LIuL
LIev don'L LIInk In sucI ubsLrucL Lerms? I LIev dId, perIups LIe new
progrum wouIdn'L Iuve IIopped. TIe BroLIerIood Isn'L LIe Negro
peopIe; no orgunIzuLIon Is. AII vou see In CIIILon's deuLI Is LIuL IL mIgIL
Iurm LIe presLIge oI LIe BroLIerIood. You see IIm onIv us u LruILor.
BuL HurIem doesn'L reucL LIuL wuv."
"Now Ie's IecLurIng us on LIe condILIoned reIIexes oI LIe Negro
peopIe," TobILL suId.
Iooked uL IIm. wus verv LIred. "And wIuL Is LIe source oI vour
greuL conLrIbuLIons Lo LIe movemenL, BroLIer? A cureer In burIesque?
And oI vour proIound knowIedge oI Negroes? Are vou Irom un oId
pIunLuLIon-ownIng IumIIv? Does vour bIuck mummv sIuIIIe nIgILIv
LIrougI vour dreums?"
He opened IIs mouLI und cIosed IL IIke u IIsI. "'II Iuve vou know
LIuL 'm murrIed Lo u IIne, InLeIIIgenL Negro gIrI," Ie suId.
So LIuL's wIuL mukes vou so cockv, LIougIL, seeIng now Iow LIe
IIgIL sLruck IIm uL un ungIe und mude u wedge-sIuped sIudow beneuLI
IIs nose. So LIuL's IL . . . und Iow dId guess LIere wus u womun In IL?
"BroLIer, upoIogIze," suId. " mIsjudged vou. You Iuve our
number. n IucL, vou musL be prucLIcuIIv u Negro vourseII. Wus IL bv
ImmersIon or InjecLIon?"
"Now see Iere," Ie suId, pusIIng buck IIs cIuIr.
Come on, LIougIL, jusL muke u move. JusL unoLIer IILLIe move.
"BroLIers," Juck suId, IIs eves on me. "eL's sLIck Lo LIe
dIscussIon. 'm InLrIgued. You were suvIng?"
wuLcIed TobILL. He gIured. grInned.
" wus suvIng LIuL up Iere we know LIuL LIe poIIcemen dIdn'L cure
ubouL CIIILon's Ideus. He wus sIoL becuuse Ie wus bIuck und becuuse Ie
resIsLed. MuInIv becuuse Ie wus bIuck."
BroLIer Juck Irowned. "You're rIdIng 'ruce' uguIn. BuL Iow do LIev
IeeI ubouL LIe doIIs?"
"'m rIdIng LIe ruce 'm Iorced Lo rIde," suId. "And us Ior LIe
doIIs, LIev know LIuL us Iur us LIe cops were concerned CIIILon couId
Iuve been seIIIng song sIeeLs. BIbIes, muLzos. I Ie'd been wIILe, Ie'd
be uIIve. Or II Ie'd uccepLed beIng pusIed uround . . ."
"BIuck und wIILe, wIILe und bIuck," TobILL suId. "MusL we IIsLen Lo
LIIs rucIsL nonsense?"
"You don'L, BroLIer Negro," suId. "You geL vour own InIormuLIon
sLruIgIL Irom LIe source. s IL u muIuLLo source, BroLIer? Don'L unswer
-LIe onIv LIIng wrong Is LIuL vour source Is Loo nurrow. You don'L
reuIIv LIInk LIuL crowd Lurned ouL Loduv becuuse CIIILon wus u member
oI LIe BroLIerIood?"
"And wIv dId LIev Lurn ouL?" Juck suId, geLLIng seL us II Lo pounce
Iorwurd.
"Becuuse we guve LIem LIe opporLunILv Lo express LIeIr IeeIIngs,
Lo uIIIrm LIemseIves."
BroLIer Juck rubbed IIs eve. "Do vou know LIuL vou Iuve become
quILe u LIeoreLIcIun?" Ie suId. "You usLound me."
" doubL LIuL, BroLIer, buL LIere's noLIIng IIke IsoIuLIng u mun Lo
muke IIm LIInk," suId.
"Yes, LIuL's Lrue; some oI our besL Ideus Iuve been LIougIL In
prIson. OnIv vou Iuven'L been In prIson, BroLIer, und vou were noL
IIred Lo LIInk. Hud vou IorgoLLen LIuL? I so, IIsLen Lo me: You were noL
IIred Lo LIInk." He wus speukIng verv deIIberuLeIv und LIougIL, So . . .
So Iere IL Is, nuked und oId und roLLen. So now IL's ouL In LIe open . . .
"So now know wIere um," suId, "und wILI wIom -"
"Don'L LwIsL mv meunIng. or uII oI us, LIe commILLee does LIe
LIInkIng. or uII oI us. And vou were IIred Lo LuIk."
"TIuL's rIgIL, wus IIred. TIIngs Iuve been so broLIerIv Iud
IorgoLLen mv pIuce. BuL wIuL II wIsI Lo express un Ideu?"
"We IurnIsI uII Ideus. We Iuve some ucuLe ones. deus ure purL oI
our uppuruLus. OnIv LIe correcL Ideus Ior LIe correcL occusIon."
"And suppose vou mIsjudge LIe occusIon?"
"SIouId LIuL ever Iuppen, vou keep quIeL."
"Even LIougI um correcL?"
"You suv noLIIng unIess IL Is pussed bv LIe commILLee. OLIerwIse
suggesL vou keep suvIng LIe IusL LIIng vou were LoId."
"And wIen mv peopIe demund LIuL speuk?"
"TIe commILLee wIII Iuve un unswer!"
Iooked uL IIm. TIe room wus IoL, quIeL, smokv. TIe oLIers
Iooked uL me sLrungeIv. Ieurd LIe nervous sound oI someone musIIng
ouL u cIgureLLe In u gIuss usI Lruv. pusIed buck mv cIuIr, breuLIIng
deepIv, conLroIIed. wus on u dungerous roud und LIougIL oI CIIILon
und LrIed Lo geL oII oI IL. suId noLIIng.
SuddenIv Juck smIIed und sIIpped buck InLo IIs IuLIerIv roIe.
"eL us IundIe LIe LIeorv und LIe busIness oI sLruLegv," Ie suId.
"We ure experIenced. We're gruduuLes und wIIIe vou ure u smurL
begInner vou skIpped severuI grudes. BuL LIev were ImporLunL grudes,
especIuIIv Ior guInIng sLruLegIcuI knowIedge. or sucI IL Is necessurv Lo
see LIe overuII pIcLure. More Is InvoIved LIun meeLs LIe eve. WILI LIe
Iong vIew und LIe sIorL vIew und LIe overuII vIew musLered, perIups
vou won'L sIunder LIe poIILIcuI conscIousness oI LIe peopIe oI HurIem."
Cun'L Ie see 'm LrvIng Lo LeII LIem wIuL's reuI, LIougIL. Does mv
membersIIp sLop me Irom IeeIIng HurIem?
"AII rIgIL," suId. "Huve IL vour wuv, BroLIer; onIv LIe poIILIcuI
conscIousness oI HurIem Is exucLIv u LIIng know someLIIng ubouL.
TIuL's one cIuss LIev wouIdn'L IeL me skIp. 'm descrIbIng u purL oI
reuIILv wIIcI know."
"And LIuL Is LIe mosL quesLIonubIe sLuLemenL oI uII," TobILL suId.
" know," suId, runnIng mv LIumb uIong LIe edge oI LIe LubIe,
"vour prIvuLe source LeIIs vou dIIIerenLIv. HIsLorv's mude uL nIgIL, eI,
BroLIer?"
"'ve wurned vou," TobILL suId.
"BroLIer Lo broLIer, BroLIer," suId, "Lrv geLLIng uround more.
You mIgIL Ieurn LIuL Loduv wus LIe IIrsL LIme LIuL LIev've IIsLened Lo
our uppeuIs In weeks. And 'II LeII vou someLIIng eIse: I we don'L IoIIow
LIrougI on wIuL wus done Loduv, LIIs mIgIL be LIe IusL . . ."
"So, Ie's IInuIIv goLLen uround Lo predIcLIng LIe IuLure," BroLIer
Juck suId.
"L's possIbIe . . . LIougI Iope noL."
"He's In LoucI wILI God," TobILL suId. "TIe bIuck God."
Iooked uL IIm und grInned. He Iud gruv eves und IIs IrIses were
verv wIde, LIe muscIes rIdged ouL on IIs juws. Iud IIs guurd down
und Ie wus swIngIng wIId.
"NoL wILI God, nor wILI vour wIIe, BroLIer," LoId IIm. "'ve
never meL eILIer. BuL 've worked umong LIe peopIe up Iere. Ask vour
wIIe Lo Luke vou uround Lo LIe gIn mIIIs und LIe burber sIops und LIe
juke joInLs und LIe cIurcIes, BroLIer. Yes, und LIe beuuLv purIors on
SuLurduvs wIen LIev're IrvIng IuIr. A wIoIe unrecorded IIsLorv Is
spoken LIen, BroLIer. You wouIdn'L beIIeve IL buL IL's Lrue. TeII Ier Lo
Luke vou Lo sLund In LIe ureuwuv oI u cIeup LenemenL uL nIgIL und
IIsLen Lo wIuL Is suId. PuL Ier ouL on LIe corner, IeL Ier LeII vou wIuL's
beIng puL down. You'II Ieurn LIuL u IoL oI peopIe ure ungrv becuuse we
IuIIed Lo Ieud LIem In ucLIon. 'II sLund on LIuL us sLund on wIuL see
und IeeI und on wIuL 've Ieurd, und wIuL know."
"No," BroLIer Juck suId, geLLIng Lo IIs IeeL, "vou'II sLund on LIe
decIsIon oI LIe commILLee. We've Iud enougI oI LIIs. TIe commILLee
mukes vour decIsIons und IL Is noL ILs prucLIce Lo gIve undue ImporLunce
Lo LIe mIsLuken noLIons oI LIe peopIe. WIuL's Iuppened Lo vour
dIscIpIIne?"
"'m noL urguIng uguInsL dIscIpIIne. 'm LrvIng Lo be useIuI. 'm
LrvIng Lo poInL ouL u purL oI reuIILv wIIcI LIe commILLee seems Lo Iuve
mIssed. WILI jusL one demonsLruLIon we couId -"
"TIe commILLee Ius decIded uguInsL sucI demonsLruLIons,"
BroLIer Juck suId. "SucI meLIods ure no Ionger eIIecLIve."
SomeLIIng seemed Lo move ouL Irom under me, und ouL oI LIe
corner oI mv eve wus suddenIv uwure oI objecLs on LIe durk sIde oI
LIe IuII. "BuL dIdn'L unvone see wIuL Iuppened Loduv?" suId. "WIuL
wus LIuL, u dreum? WIuL wus IneIIecLIve ubouL LIuL crowd?"
"SucI crowds ure onIv our ruw muLerIuIs, one oI LIe ruw muLerIuIs
Lo be sIuped Lo our progrum."
Iooked uround LIe LubIe und sIook mv Ieud. "No wonder LIev
InsuIL me und uccuse us oI beLruvIng LIem . . ."
TIere wus u sudden movemenL.
"RepeuL LIuL," BroLIer Juck sIouLed, sLeppIng Iorwurd.
"L's Lrue, 'II repeuL IL. UnLII LIIs uILernoon LIev've been suvIng
LIuL LIe BroLIerIood beLruved LIem. 'm LeIIIng vou wIuL's been suId Lo
me, und LIuL IL wIv BroLIer CIIILon dIsuppeured."
"TIuL's un IndeIensIbIe IIe," BroLIer Juck suId.
And Iooked uL IIm sIowIv now, LIInkIng, I LIIs Is IL, LIIs Is IL . . .
"Don'L cuII me LIuL," suId soILIv. "Don'L ever cuII me LIuL, none oI vou.
've LoId vou wIuL 've Ieurd." Mv Iund wus In mv pockeL now, BroLIer
Turp's Ieg cIuIn uround mv knuckIes. Iooked uL eucI oI LIem
IndIvIduuIIv, LrvIng Lo IoId mvseII buck und veL IeeIIng IL geLLIng uwuv
Irom me. Mv Ieud wus wIIrIIng us LIougI were rIdIng u supersonIc
merrv-go-round. Juck Iooked uL me, u new InLeresL beIInd IIs eves,
Ieuned Iorwurd.
"So vou've Ieurd IL," Ie suId. "Verv weII, so now Ieur LIIs: We do
noL sIupe our poIIcIes Lo LIe mIsLuken und InIunLIIe noLIons oI LIe mun
In LIe sLreeL. Our job Is noL Lo usk LIem wIuL LIev LIInk buL Lo LeII
LIem!"
"You've suId LIuL," suId, "und LIuL's one LIIng vou cun LeII LIem
vourseII. WIo ure vou, unvwuv, LIe greuL wIILe IuLIer?"
"NoL LIeIr IuLIer, LIeIr Ieuder. And .vour Ieuder. And don'L IorgeL
IL."
"Mv Ieuder sure, buL wIuL's vour exucL reIuLIonsIIp Lo LIem?"
HIs red Ieud brIsLIed. "TIe Ieuder. As Ieuder oI LIe BroLIerIood,
um LIeIr Ieuder."
"BuL ure vou sure vou uren'L LIeIr greuL wIILe IuLIer?" suId,
wuLcIIng IIm cIoseIv, uwure oI LIe IoL sIIence und IeeIIng LensIon ruce
Irom mv Loes Lo mv Iegs us drew mv IeeL quIckIv beneuLI me.
"WouIdn'L IL be beLLer II LIev cuIIed vou Murse Juck?"
"Now see Iere," Ie begun, IeupIng Lo IIs IeeL Lo Ieun ucross LIe
LubIe, und spun mv cIuIr IuII uround on ILs IInd Iegs us Ie cume
beLween me und LIe IIgIL, grIppIng LIe edge oI LIe LubIe, spIuLLerIng
und IupsIng InLo u IoreIgn Iunguuge, cIokIng und cougIIng und sIukIng
IIs Ieud us buIunced on mv Loes now, seL Lo propeI mvseII Iorwurd;
seeIng IIm ubove me und LIe oLIers beIInd IIm us suddenIv someLIIng
seemed Lo erupL ouL oI IIs Iuce. You're seeIng LIIngs, LIougIL, IeurIng
IL sLrIke sIurpIv uguInsL LIe LubIe und roII us IIs urm sIoL ouL und
snuLcIed un objecL LIe sIze oI u Iurge murbIe und dropped IL, pIop! InLo
IIs gIuss, und couId see LIe wuLer sIooLIng up In u rugged, IIgIL-
breukIng puLLern Lo sprIng In swIIL dropIeLs ucross LIe oIIed LubIe Lop.
TIe room seemed Lo IIuLLen. sIoL Lo u IIgI pIuLeuu ubove LIem und
down, IeeIIng LIe joIL on LIe end oI mv spIne us LIe cIuIr Iegs sLruck LIe
IIoor. TIe merrv-go-round Iud speeded up, Ieurd IIs voIce buL no
Ionger IIsLened. sLured uL LIe gIuss, seeIng Iow LIe IIgIL sIone
LIrougI, LIrowIng u LrunspurenL, precIseIv IIuLed sIudow uguInsL LIe
durk gruIn oI LIe LubIe, und LIere on LIe boLLom oI LIe gIuss Iuv un eve.
A gIuss eve. A buLLermIIk wIILe eve dIsLorLed bv LIe IIgIL ruvs. An eve
sLurIng IIxedIv uL me us Irom LIe durk wuLers oI u weII. TIen wus
IookIng uL IIm sLundIng ubove me, ouLIIned bv LIe IIgIL uguInsL LIe
durkened IuII oI LIe IuII.
". . . You musL uccepL dIscIpIIne. EILIer vou uccepL decIsIons or vou
geL ouL . . ."
sLured InLo IIs Iuce, IeeIIng u sense oI ouLruge. HIs IeIL eve Iud
coIIupsed, u IIne oI ruw redness sIowIng wIere LIe IId reIused Lo cIose,
und IIs guze Iud IosL ILs commund. Iooked Irom IIs Iuce Lo LIe gIuss,
LIInkIng, Ie's dIsemboweIed IImseII jusL In order Lo conIound me . . .
And LIe oLIers Iud known IL uII uIong. TIev uren'L even surprIsed.
sLured uL LIe eve, uwure oI Juck pucIng up und down, sIouLIng.
"BroLIer, ure vou IoIIowIng me?" He sLopped, squInLIng uL me
wILI CvcIopeun IrrILuLIon. "WIuL Is LIe muLLer?"
sLured up uL IIm, unubIe Lo unswer.
TIen Ie undersLood und upproucIed LIe LubIe, smIIIng
muIIcIousIv. "So LIuL's IL. So IL mukes vou uncomIorLubIe, does IL?
You're u senLImenLuIIsL," Ie suId, sweepIng up LIe gIuss und cuusIng LIe
eve Lo Lurn over In LIe wuLer so LIuL now IL seemed Lo peer down uL me
Irom LIe rInged boLLom oI LIe gIuss. He smIIed, IoIdIng LIe LumbIer
IeveI wILI IIs empLv sockeL, swIrIIng LIe gIuss. "You dIdn'L know ubouL
LIIs?"
"No, und dIdn'L wunL Lo know."
Someone IuugIed.
"See, LIuL demonsLruLes Iow Iong vou've been wILI us." He
Iowered LIe gIuss. " IosL mv eve In LIe IIne oI duLv. WIuL do vou LIInk
oI LIuL?" Ie suId wILI u prIde LIuL mude me uII LIe ungrIer.
" don'L gIve u dumn Iow vou IosL IL us Iong us vou keep IL IIdden."
"TIuL Is becuuse vou don'L upprecIuLe LIe meunIng oI sucrIIIce.
wus ordered Lo currv LIrougI un objecLIve und currIed IL LIrougI.
UndersLund? Even LIougI Iud Lo Iose mv eve Lo do IL . . ."
He wus gIouLIng now, IoIdIng up LIe eve In LIe gIuss us LIougI IL
were u meduI oI merIL.
"NoL mucI IIke LIuL LruILor CIIILon, Is IL?" TobILL suId.
TIe oLIers were umused.
"AII rIgIL," suId. "AII rIgIL! L wus u IeroIc ucL. L suved LIe worId,
now IIde LIe bIeedIng wound!"
"Don'L overevuIuuLe IL," Juck suId, quIeLer now. "TIe Ieroes ure
LIose wIo dIe. TIIs wus noLIIng-uILer IL Iuppened. A mInor Iesson In
dIscIpIIne. And do vou know wIuL dIscIpIIne Is, BroLIer PersonuI
ResponsIbIIILv? L's sucrIIIce, sucrIIIce, SACRCE!"
He sIummed LIe gIuss upon LIe LubIe, spIusIIng LIe wuLer on LIe
buck oI mv Iund. sIook IIke u IeuI. So LIuL Is LIe meunIng oI
dIscIpIIne, LIougIL, sucrIIIce . . . ves, und bIIndness; Ie doesn'L see me.
He doesn'L even see me. Am ubouL Lo sLrungIe IIm? do noL know. He
cunnoL possIbIv. sLIII do noL know. See! DIscIpIIne Is sucrIIIce. Yes,
und bIIndness. Yes. And me sILLIng Iere wIIIe Ie LrIes Lo InLImIduLe me.
TIuL's IL, wILI IIs goddum bIInd gIuss eve . . . SIouId vou sIow IIm vou
geL IL? SIouIdn'L vou? SIouIdn'L Ie know IL? Hurrv! SIouIdn'L vou?
ook uL IL LIere, u good job, un uImosL perIecL ImILuLIon LIuL seemed
uIIve . . . SIouId vou, sIouIdn'L vou? Muvbe Ie goL IL wIere Ie Ieurned
LIuL Iunguuge Ie Iupsed InLo. SIouIdn'L vou? Muke IIm speuk LIe
unknown Longue, LIe Iunguuge oI LIe IuLure. WIuL's muLLerIng wILI
vou? DIscIpIIne. s IeurnIng, dIdn'L Ie suv? s IL? sLund? You're sILLIng
Iere, uIn'L ? You're IoIdIng on, uIn'L ? He suId vou'd Ieurn so vou're
IeurnIng, so Ie suw IL uII LIe LIme. He's u rIddIer, sIouIdn'L we sIow
IIm? So sIL sLIII Is LIe wuv, und Ieurn, never mInd LIe eve, IL's deud . . .
AII rIgIL now, Iook uL IIm, see IIm LurnIng now, IeIL, rIgIL, comIng
sIorL-Iegged Lowurd vou. See IIm, Iep, Iep! LIe one-eved beucon. AII
rIgIL, uII rIgIL . . . Hep, Iep! TIe sIorL-Iegged deucon. AII rIgIL! NuII
IIm! TIe sIorL-cIungIng dIuIecLIcuI deucon . . . AII rIgIL. TIere, so now
vou're IeurnIng . . . GeL IL under conLroI . . . PuLIence . . . Yes . . .
Iooked uL IIm uguIn us Ior LIe IIrsL LIme, seeIng u IILLIe bunLum
roosLer oI u mun wILI u IIgI-domed IoreIeud und u ruw eve-sockeL LIuL
wouIdn'L quILe uccepL ILs IId. Iooked uL IIm cureIuIIv now wILI some oI
LIe red spoLs IudIng und wILI LIe IeeIIng LIuL wus jusL uwukenIng
Irom u dreum. Iud boomerunged uround.
" reuIIze Iow vou IeeI," Ie suId, becomIng un ucLor wIo'd jusL
IInIsIed u purL In u pIuv und wus speukIng uguIn In IIs nuLuruI voIce. "
remember LIe IIrsL LIme suw mvseII LIIs wuv und IL wusn'L pIeusunL.
And don'L LIInk wouIdn'L ruLIer Iuve mv oId one buck." He IeIL In LIe
wuLer Ior IIs eve now, und couId see ILs smooLI IuII-spIerIcuI, IuII-
umorpIous Iorm sIIp beLween IIs Lwo IIngers und spurL uround LIe
gIuss us LIougI IookIng Ior u wuv Lo breuk ouL. TIen Ie Iud IL, sIukIng
oII LIe wuLer und breuLIIng upon IL us Ie wuIked ucross Lo LIe durk sIde
oI LIe room.
"BuL wIo knows, BroLIers," Ie suId, wILI IIs buck Lurned,
"perIups II we do our work successIuIIv LIe new socIeLv wIII provIde me
wILI u IIvIng eve. SucI u LIIng Is noL uL uII IunLusLIc, uILIougI 've been
wILIouL mIne Ior quILe u wIIIe . . . WIuL LIme Is IL, bv LIe wuv?"
BuL wIuL kInd oI socIeLv wIII muke IIm see me, LIougIL, IeurIng
TobILL unswer, "SIx-IIILeen."
"TIen we'd beLLer Ieuve ImmedIuLeIv, we've goL u Iong wuv Lo
LruveI," Ie suId, comIng ucross LIe IIoor. He Iud IIs eve In pIuce now
und Ie wus smIIIng. "How's LIuL?" Ie usked me.
nodded, wus verv LIred. sImpIv nodded.
"Good," Ie suId. " sIncereIv Iope IL never Iuppens Lo vou.
SIncereIv."
"I IL sIouId, muvbe vou'II recommend me Lo vour ocuIIsL," suId,
"LIen muv noL-see mvseII us oLIers see-me-noL."
He Iooked uL me oddIv LIen IuugIed. "See, BroLIers, Ie's jokIng.
He IeeIs broLIerIv uguIn. BuL jusL LIe sume, Iope vou'II never need
one oI LIese. MeunwIIIe go und see Humbro. He'II ouLIIne LIe progrum
und gIve vou LIe InsLrucLIons. As Ior Loduv, jusL IeL LIIngs IIouL. L Is u
deveIopmenL LIuL Is ImporLunL onIv II we muke IL so. OLIerwIse IL wIII
be IorgoLLen," Ie suId, geLLIng InLo IIs juckeL. "And vou'II see LIuL IL's
besL. TIe BroLIerIood musL ucL us u co-ordInuLed unIL."
Iooked uL IIm. wus becomIng uwure oI smeIIs uguIn und
needed u buLI. TIe oLIers were sLundIng now und movIng Lowurd LIe
door. sLood up, IeeIIng LIe sIIrL sLIckIng Lo mv buck.
"One IusL LIIng," Juck suId, pIucIng IIs Iund on mv sIouIder und
speukIng quIeLIv. "WuLcI LIuL Lemper, LIuL's dIscIpIIne, Loo. eurn Lo
demoIIsI vour broLIerIv opponenLs wILI Ideus, wILI poIemIc skIII. TIe
oLIer Is Ior our enemIes. Suve IL Ior LIem. And go geL some resL."
wus begInnIng Lo LrembIe. HIs Iuce seemed Lo udvunce und
recede, recede und udvunce. He sIook IIs Ieud und smIIed grImIv.
" know Iow vou IeeI," Ie suId. "And IL's Loo bud uII LIuL eIIorL wus
Ior noLIIng. BuL LIuL In ILseII Is u kInd oI dIscIpIIne. speuk Lo vou oI
wIuL Iuve Ieurned und 'm u greuL deuI oIder LIun vou. Good nIgIL."
Iooked uL IIs eve. So Ie knows Iow IeeI. WIIcI eve Is reuIIv LIe
bIInd one? "Good nIgIL," suId.
"Good nIgIL, BroLIer," LIev uII excepL TobILL suId.
L'II be nIgIL, buL IL won'L be good, LIougIL, cuIIIng u IInuI "Good
nIgIL."
TIev IeIL und Look mv juckeL und wenL und suL uL mv desk.
Ieurd LIem pussIng down LIe sLuIrs und LIe cIosIng oI LIe door beIow.
IeIL us LIougI 'd been wuLcIIng u bud comedv. OnIv IL wus reuI und
wus IIvIng IL und IL wus LIe onIv IIsLorIcuIIv meunIngIuI IIIe LIuL couId
IIve. I IeIL IL, 'd be nowIere. As deud und us meunIngIess us CIIILon.
IeIL Ior LIe doII In LIe sIudow und dropped IL on LIe desk. He wus deud
uII rIgIL, und noLIIng wouId come oI IIs deuLI now. He wus useIess
even Ior u scuvenger ucLIon. He Iud wuILed Loo Iong, LIe dIrecLIves Iud
cIunged on IIm. He'd bureIv goLLen bv wILI u IuneruI. And LIuL wus uII.
L wus onIv u muLLer oI u Iew duvs, buL Ie Iud mIssed und LIere wus
noLIIng couId do. BuL uL IeusL Ie wus deud und ouL oI IL.
suL LIere u wIIIe, growIng wIIder und IIgILIng uguInsL IL.
couIdn'L Ieuve und Iud Lo keep conLucL In order Lo IIgIL. BuL wouId
never be LIe sume. Never. AILer LonIgIL wouIdn'L ever Iook LIe sume,
or IeeI LIe sume. JusL wIuL 'd be, dIdn'L know; couIdn'L go buck Lo
wIuL wus-wIIcI wusn'L mucI-buL 'd IosL Loo mucI Lo be wIuL
wus. Some oI me, Loo, Iud dIed wILI Tod CIIILon. So wouId see
Humbro, Ior wIuLever IL wus worLI. goL up und wenL ouL InLo LIe IuII.
TIe gIuss wus sLIII on LIe LubIe und swepL IL ucross LIe room, IeurIng
IL rumbIe und roII In LIe durk. TIen wenL downsLuIrs.
CIupLer z
TIe bur downsLuIrs wus IoL und crowded und LIere wus u IeuLed
urgumenL In progress over CIIILon's sIooLIng. sLood neur LIe door und
ordered u bourbon. TIen someone noLIced me, und LIev LrIed Lo druw
me In.
"PIeuse, noL LonIgIL," suId. "He wus one oI mv besL IrIends."
"OI, sure," LIev suId, und Iud unoLIer bourbon und IeIL.
WIen reucIed 1z=LI SLreeL, wus upproucIed bv u group oI cIvII-
IIberLIes workers cIrcuIuLIng u peLILIon demundIng LIe dIsmIssuI oI LIe
guIILv poIIcemun, und u bIock IurLIer on even LIe IumIIIur womun
sLreeL preucIer wus sIouLIng u sermon ubouL LIe sIuugILer oI LIe
InnocenLs. A mucI brouder group wus sLIrred up over LIe sIooLIng LIun
Iud ImugIned. Good, LIougIL, perIups IL won'L dIe down uILer uII.
Muvbe 'd beLLer see Humbro LonIgIL.
ILLIe groups were uII uIong LIe sLreeL, und moved wILI
IncreusIng speed unLII suddenIv Iud reucIed SevenLI Avenue, und
LIere beneuLI u sLreeL Iump wILI LIe IurgesL crowd uround IIm wus Rus
LIe ExIorLer-LIe IusL mun In LIe worId wunLed Lo see. And Iud jusL
Lurned buck wIen suw IIm Ieun down beLween IIs IIugs, sIouLIng,
"ook, Iook, BIuck IudIes und genLIemuIn! TIere goes LIe
represenLuLIve oI LIe BroLIerIood. Does Rus see correcLIv? s LIuL
genLIemuIn LrvIng Lo puss us unnoLIced? Ask IIm ubouL IL. WIuL ure
vou peopIe wuILIng Ior, sIr? WIuL ure vou doIng ubouL our bIuck vouLI
sIoL down becu'se oI vour deceILIuI orgunIzuLIon?"
TIev Lurned, IookIng uL me, cIosIng In. Some cume up beIInd me
und LrIed Lo pusI me IurLIer InLo LIe crowd. TIe ExIorLer Ieuned
down, poInLIng uL me, beneuLI LIe green LruIIIc IIgIL.
"Ask IIm wIuL LIev ure doIng ubouL IL, IudIes und genLIemuIn. Are
LIev uIruId-or ure LIe wIILe IoIks und LIeIr bIuck sLooges sLIckIng
LogeLIer Lo beLruv us?"
"GeL vour Iunds oII me," sIouLed us someone reucIed uround
und seIzed mv urm.
Ieurd u voIce cursIng me soILIv.
"GIve LIe broLIer u cIunce Lo unswer!" someone suId.
TIeIr Iuces pressed In upon me. wunLed Lo IuugI, Ior suddenIv
reuIIzed LIuL dIdn'L know wIeLIer Iud been purL oI u seIIouL or noL.
BuL LIev were In no mood Ior IuugILer.
"udIes und genLIemen, broLIers und sIsLers," suId, " dIsduIn Lo
unswer sucI un uLLuck. SInce vou uII know me und mv work, don'L
LIInk IL's necessurv. BuL IL seems IIgIIv dIsIonorubIe Lo use LIe
unIorLunuLe deuLI oI one oI our mosL promIsIng voung men us un
excuse Ior uLLuckIng un orgunIzuLIon LIuL Ius worked Lo brIng un end Lo
sucI ouLruges. WIo wus LIe IIrsL orgunIzuLIon Lo ucL uguInsL LIIs
kIIIIng? TIe BroLIerIood! WIo wus LIe IIrsL Lo urouse LIe peopIe? TIe
BroLIerIood! WIo wIII uIwuvs be LIe IIrsL Lo udvunce LIe cuuse oI LIe
peopIe? AguIn LIe BroLIerIood!
"We ucLed und we sIuII uIwuvs ucL, ussure vou. BuL In our own
dIscIpIIned wuv. And we'II ucL posILIveIv. We reIuse Lo wusLe our
energIes und vours In premuLure und III-consIdered ucLIons. We ure
AmerIcuns, uII oI us, wIeLIer bIuck or wIILe, regurdIess oI wIuL LIe
mun on LIe Iudder LIere LeIIs vou, AmerIcuns. And we Ieuve IL Lo LIe
genLIemun up LIere Lo ubuse LIe nume oI LIe deud. TIe BroLIerIood
grIeves und IeeIs deepIv LIe Ioss oI ILs broLIer. And we ure deLermIned
LIuL IIs deuLI sIuII be LIe begInnIng oI proIound und IusLIng cIunges.
L's eusv enougI Lo wuIL uround Ior LIe mInuLe u mun Is suIeIv burIed
und LIen sLund on u Iudder und smeur LIe memorv oI evervLIIng Ie
beIIeved In. BuL Lo creuLe someLIIng IusLIng oI IIs deuLI Lukes LIme und
cureIuI pIunnIng -"
"GenLIemuIn," Rus sIouLed, "sLIck Lo LIe Issue. You ure noL
unswerIng mv quesLIon. WIuL ure vou doIng ubouL LIe sIooLIng?"
moved Lowurd LIe edge oI LIe crowd. I LIIs wenL unv IurLIer, IL
couId be dIsusLrous.
"SLop ubusIng LIe deud Ior vour own seIIIsI ends," suId. "eL IIm
resL In peuce. QuIL mungIIng IIs corpse!"
pusIed uwuv us Ie ruged, IeurIng sIouLs oI, "TeII IIm ubouL IL!"
"Gruve robber!"
TIe ExIorLer wuved IIs urms und poInLed, sIouLIng, "TIuL muIn
Is u puId sLooge oI LIe wIILe ensIuver! WIeere Ius Ie been Ior LIe IusL
Iew monLIs wIen our bIuck bubIes und women Iuve been suIIerIng -"
"eL LIe deud resL In peuce," sIouLed, IeurIng someone cuII "Aw
mun, go buck Lo AIrIcu. Evervbodv knows LIe broLIer."
Good, LIougIL, good. TIen LIere wus u scuIIIe beIInd me und
wIIrIed Lo see Lwo men sLop sIorL. TIev were Rus's men.
"IsLen, mIsLer," suId up Lo IIm, "II vou know wIuL's good Ior
vou, vou'II cuII oII vour goons. Two oI LIem seem Lo wunL Lo IoIIow me."
"And LIuL Is u duIm IIe!" Ie sIouLed.
"TIere ure wILnesses II unvLIIng sIouId Iuppen Lo me. A mun
wIo'II dIg up LIe deud IurdIv beIore Ie's burIed wIII Lrv unvLIIng, buL
wurn vou -"
TIere were ungrv sIouLs Irom some oI LIe crowd und suw LIe
men conLInue pusL me wILI IuLe In LIeIr eves, IeuvIng LIe crowd Lo
dIsuppeur uround LIe corner. Rus wus uLLuckIng LIe BroLIerIood now
und oLIers were unswerIng IIm Irom LIe uudIence, und wenL on,
movIng buck Lowurd enox, movIng pusL u movIe Iouse wIen LIev
grubbed me und sLurLed puncIIng. BuL LIIs LIme LIev'd pIcked LIe
wrong spoL, und LIe movIe doormun InLervened und LIev run buck
Lowurd Rus's sLreeL meeLIng. LIunked LIe doormun und wenL on. Iud
been Iuckv; LIev Iudn'L IurL me, buL Rus wus becomIng boId uguIn. On
u Iess crowded sLreeL LIev mIgIL Iuve done some dumuge.
ReucIIng LIe Avenue sLepped Lo LIe curb und sIgnuIed u cub,
seeIng IL suII bv. An umbuIunce wenL pusL, LIen unoLIer cub wILI ILs IIug
down. Iooked buck. IeIL LIuL LIev were wuLcIIng me Irom somewIere
up LIe sLreeL buL couIdn'L see LIem. WIv dIdn'L u LuxI come! TIen
LIree men In nuLLv creum-coIored summer suILs cume Lo sLund neur me
uL LIe curb, und someLIIng ubouL LIem sLruck me IIke u Iummer. TIev
were uII weurIng durk gIusses. Iud seen IL LIousunds oI LImes, buL
suddenIv wIuL Iud consIdered un empLv ImILuLIon oI u HoIIvwood Iud
wus IIooded wILI personuI sIgnIIIcunce. WIv noL, LIougIL, wIv noL,
und sIoL ucross LIe sLreeL und InLo LIe uIr-condILIoned cIIII oI u
drugsLore.
suw LIem on u cuse sLrewn wILI sun vIsors, IuIr neLs, rubber
gIoves, u curd oI IuIse eveIusIes, und seIzed LIe durkesL Ienses couId
IInd. TIev were oI u green gIuss so durk LIuL IL uppeured bIuck, und
puL LIem on ImmedIuLeIv, pIungIng InLo bIuckness und movIng ouLsIde.
couId bureIv see; IL wus uImosL durk now, und LIe sLreeLs
swurmed In u green vugueness. moved sIowIv ucross Lo sLund neur LIe
subwuv und wuIL Ior mv eves Lo udjusL. A sLrunge wuve oI excILemenL
boIIed wILIIn me us peered ouL uL LIe sInIsLer IIgIL. And now LIrougI
LIe IoL gusLs Irom LIe underground peopIe were emergIng und couId
IeeI LIe LruIns vIbruLIng LIe wuIk. A cub roIIed up Lo dIscIurge u
pussenger und wus ubouL Lo Luke IL wIen LIe womun cume up LIe
sLuIrs und sLopped beIore me, smIIIng. Now wIuL, LIougIL, seeIng Ier
sLundIng LIere, smIIIng In Ier LIgIL-IILLIng summer dress; u Iurge voung
womun wIo reeked wILI CIrIsLmus NIgIL perIume wIo now cume
cIose.
"RIneIurL, bubv, Is LIuL vou?" sIe suId.
RIneIurL, LIougIL. So IL works. SIe Iud Ier Iund on mv urm und
IusLer LIun LIougIL Ieurd mvseII unswer, "s LIuL vou, bubv?" und
wuILed wILI Lense breuLI.
"WeII, Ior once vou're on LIme," sIe suId. "BuL wIuL vou doIng
bureIeuded, wIere's vour new IuL bougIL vou?"
wunLed Lo IuugI. TIe scenL oI CIrIsLmus NIgIL wus enIoIdIng me
now und suw Ier Iuce druw cIoser, Ier eves wIdenIng.
"Suv, vou uIn'L RIneIurL, mun. WIuL vou LrvIng Lo do? You don'L
even LuIk IIke RIne. WIuL's vour sLorv?"
IuugIed, buckIng uwuv. " guess we were boLI mIsLuken," suId.
SIe sLepped buckwurd cIuLcIIng Ier bug, wuLcIIng me, conIused.
" reuIIv meunL no Iurm," suId. "'m sorrv. WIo wus IL vou
mIsLook me Ior?"
"RIneIurL, und vou'd beLLer noL IeL IIm cuLcI vou preLendIng Lo be
IIm."
"No," suId. "BuL vou seemed so pIeused Lo see IIm LIuL couIdn'L
resIsL IL. He's reuIIv u Iuckv mun."
"And couId Iuve sworn vou wus-Mun, vou gIL uwuv Irom Iere
beIore vou geL me In LroubIe," sIe suId, movIng usIde, und IeIL.
L wus verv sLrunge. BuL LIuL ubouL LIe IuL wus u good Ideu,
LIougIL, IurrvIng uIong now und IookIng ouL Ior Rus's men. wus
wusLIng LIme. AL LIe IIrsL IuL sIop wenL In und bougIL LIe wIdesL IuL
In sLock und puL IL on. WILI LIIs, LIougIL, sIouId be seen even In u
snowsLorm-onIv LIev'd LIInk wus someone eIse.
TIen wus buck In LIe sLreeL und movIng Lowurd LIe subwuv. Mv
eves udjusLed quIckIv; LIe worId Look on u durk-green InLensILv, LIe
IIgILs oI curs gIowed IIke sLurs, Iuces were u mvsLerIous bIur; LIe gurIsI
sIgns oI movIe Iouses muLed down Lo u soIL sInIsLer gIowIng. Ieuded
buck Ior Rus's meeLIng wILI u boId swugger. TIIs wus LIe reuI LesL, II IL
worked wouId go on Lo Humbro's wILIouL IurLIer LroubIe. n LIe
ungrv perIod Lo come wouId be ubIe Lo move ubouL.
A coupIe oI men upproucIed, euLIng up LIe wuIk wILI Iong juunLv
sLrIdes LIuL cuused LIeIr Ieuvv sIIk sporL sIIrLs Lo IIounce rIvLImIcuIIv
upon LIeIr bodIes. TIev Loo wore durk gIusses, LIeIr IuLs were seL IIgI
upon LIeIr Ieuds, LIe brIms Lurned down. A coupIe oI IIpsLers,
LIougIL, jusL us LIev spoke.
"WIuL vou suvIn', duddv-o," LIev suId.
"RIneIurL, poppu, LeII us wIuL vou puLLIng down," LIev suId.
OI, IeII, LIev're probubIv IIs IrIends, LIougIL, wuvIng und
movIng on.
"We know wIuL vou're doIng, RIneIurL," one oI LIem cuIIed. "PIuv
IL cooI, oIe mun, pIuv IL cooI!"
wuved uguIn us LIougI In on LIe joke. TIev IuugIed beIInd me.
wus neurIng LIe end oI LIe bIock now, weL wILI sweuL. WIo wus LIIs
RIneIurL und wIuL wus Ie puLLIng down? 'd Iuve Lo Ieurn more ubouL
IIm Lo uvoId IurLIer mIsIdenLIIIcuLIons . . .
A cur pussed wILI ILs rudIo bIurIng. AIeud couId Ieur LIe
ExIorLer burkIng IursIIv Lo LIe crowd. TIen wus movIng cIose, und
comIng Lo u sLop conspIcuousIv In LIe spuce IeIL Ior pedesLrIuns Lo puss
LIrougI LIe crowd. To LIe reur LIev were IIned up Lwo deep beIore LIe
sLore wIndows. BeIore me LIe IIsLeners merged In u green-LInLed gIoom.
TIe ExIorLer gesLured vIoIenLIv, bIusLIng LIe BroLIerIood.
"TIe LIme Ior uIcLIon Is Iere. We muIsL cIuse LIem ouL oI
HurIem," Ie crIed. And Ior u second LIougIL Ie Iud cuugIL me In LIe
sweep oI IIs eves, und Lensed.
"Rus suId cIuse LIem! L Is LIme Rus LIe ExIorLer become Rus LIe
DESTROYER!"
SIouLs oI ugreemenL urose und Iooked beIInd me, seeIng LIe
men wIo Iud IoIIowed me und LIInkIng, WIuL dId Ie meun, desLrover?
" repeuL, bIuck IudIes und genLIemuIn, LIe LIme Ius come Ior
uIcLIon! , Rus LIe DesLrover, repeuL, LIe LIme Ius come!"
LrembIed wILI excILemenL; LIev Iudn'L recognIzed me. L works,
LIougIL. TIev see LIe IuL, noL me. TIere Is u mugIc In IL. L IIdes me
rIgIL In IronL oI LIeIr eves . . . BuL suddenIv wusn'L sure. WILI Rus
cuIIIng Ior LIe desLrucLIon oI evervLIIng wIILe In HurIem, wIo couId
noLIce me? needed u beLLer LesL. I wus Lo currv ouL mv pIun . . . WIuL
pIun? HeII, don'L know, come on . . .
weuved ouL oI LIe crowd und IeIL, IeudIng Ior Humbro's.
A group oI zooL-suILers greeLed me In pussIng. "Hev now, duddv-
o," LIev cuIIed. "Hev now!"
"Hev now!" suId.
L wus us LIougI bv dressIng und wuIkIng In u cerLuIn wuv Iud
enIIsLed In u IruLernILv In wIIcI wus recognIzed uL u gIunce-noL bv
IeuLures, buL bv cIoLIes, bv unIIorm, bv guIL. BuL LIIs guve rIse Lo
unoLIer uncerLuInLv. wus noL u zooL-suILer, buL u kInd oI poIILIcIun. Or
wus ? WIuL wouId Iuppen In u reuI LesL? WIuL ubouL LIe IeIIows wIo'd
been so InsuILIng uL LIe JoIIv DoIIur? wus IuIIwuv ucross EIgILI
Avenue uL LIe LIougIL und reLruced mv sLeps, runnIng Ior un upLown
bus.
TIere were munv oI LIe reguIur cusLomers druped uround LIe bur.
TIe room wus crowded und BurreIIouse wus on duLv. couId IeeI LIe
Irume oI LIe gIusses cuLLIng InLo LIe rIdge oI mv nose us LIILed mv IuL
und squeezed up Lo LIe bur. BurreIIouse Iooked uL me rougIIv, IIs IIps
pusIed ouL.
"WIuL brund vou drInkIng LonIgIL, Poppu-sLopper?" Ie suId.
"Muke IL BuIIunLIne's," suId In mv nuLuruI voIce.
wuLcIed IIs eves us Ie seL LIe beer beIore me und sIupped LIe
bur wILI IIs enormous Iund Ior IIs monev. TIen, mv IeurL beuLIng
IusLer, mude mv oId gesLure oI puvmenL, spInnIng LIe coIn upon LIe
bur und wuILed. TIe coIn dIsuppeured InLo IIs IIsL.
"TIunks, pops," Ie suId, movIng on und IeuvIng me puzzIed. or
LIere Iud been recognILIon oI u kInd In IIs voIce buL noL Ior me. He
never cuIIed me "pops" or "poppu-sLopper." L's workIng, LIougIL,
perIups IL's workIng verv weII.
CerLuInIv someLIIng wus workIng on me, und proIoundIv. SLIII
wus reIIeved. L wus IoL. PerIups LIuL wus IL. drunk LIe coId beer,
IookIng buck Lo LIe reur oI LIe room Lo LIe booLIs. A crowd oI men und
women moIIed IIke nIgILmure IIgures In LIe smoke-green Iuze. TIe
juke box wus dInnIng und IL wus IIke IookIng InLo LIe depLIs oI u murkv
cuve. And now someone moved usIde und IookIng down uIong LIe curve
oI LIe bur pusL LIe bobbIng Ieuds und sIouIders suw LIe juke box, IIL
up IIke u bud dreum oI LIe Ierv urnuce, sIouLIng:
JeIIv, JeIIv
JeIIv,
AII nIgIL Iong.
And veL, LIougIL, wuLcIIng u numbers runner puvIng oII u beL,
LIIs Is one pIuce LIuL LIe BroLIerIood deIInILeIv peneLruLed. eL
Humbro expIuIn LIuL, Loo, uIong wILI uII LIe resL Ie'd Iuve Lo expIuIn.
druIned LIe gIuss und Lurned Lo Ieuve, wIen LIere ucross uL LIe
IuncI counLer suw BroLIer Muceo. moved ImpuIsIveIv, IorgeLLIng mv
dIsguIse unLII uImosL upon IIm, LIen cIecked mvseII und puL mv
dIsguIse once more Lo u LesL. ReucIIng rougIIv ucross IIs sIouIder
pIcked up u greusv menu LIuL resLed beLween LIe sugur sIuker und LIe
IoL-suuce boLLIe und preLended Lo reud IL LIrougI mv durk Ienses.
"How're LIe rIbs, pops?" suId.
"Ine, IeusL LIese Iere 'm euLIn' Is."
"YeuI? How mucI vou know ubouL rIbs?"
He ruIsed IIs Ieud sIowIv, IookIng ucross uL LIe spILLed cIIckens
revoIvIng beIore LIe Iow bIue roLIsserIe IIumes. " reckon know us
mucI ubouL 'em us vou," Ie suId, "und probubIv more, sInce probubIv
been euLIn' 'em u Iew veurs Ionger LIun vou, und In u Iew more pIuces.
WIuL mukes vou LIInk vou kIn come In Iere messIng wILI me
unvIow?"
He Lurned, IookIng sLruIgIL InLo mv Iuce now, cIuIIengIng me. He
wus verv gume und wunLed Lo IuugI.
"OI, Luke IL eusv," growIed. "A mun cun usk u quesLIon, cun'L Ie?"
"You goL vour unswer," Ie suId, LurnIng compIeLeIv uround on LIe
sLooI. "So now guess vou reudv Lo puII vour knIIe."
"KnIIe?" suId, wunLIng Lo IuugI. "WIo suId unvLIIng ubouL u
knIIe?"
"TIuL's wIuL vou LIInkIng ubouL. Somebodv suv someLIIng vou
don'L IIke und vou kIndu IeIIows puII vour swILcI bIudes. So uII rIgIL, go
uIeud und puII IL. 'm us reudv Lo dIe us 'm gon' ever be. eL's see vou,
go uIeud!"
He reucIed Ior LIe sugur sIuker now, und sLood LIere IeeIIng
suddenIv LIuL LIe oId mun beIore me wus noL BroLIer Muceo uL uII, buL
someone eIse dIsguIsed Lo conIuse me. TIe gIusses were workIng Loo
weII. He's u gume oId broLIer, LIougIL, buL LIIs'II never do.
poInLed Lowurd IIs pIuLe. " usked vou ubouL LIe rIbs," suId,
"noL vour rIbs. WIo suId unvLIIng ubouL u knIIe?"
"Never mInd LIuL, jusL go on und puII IL," Ie suId.
"eL's see vou. Or Is vou wuILIng Ior me Lo Lurn mv buck. AII rIgIL,
Iere IL Is, Iere's mv buck," Ie suId, LurnIng swIILIv on LIe sLooI und
uround uguIn, IIs urm seL Lo LIrow LIe sIuker.
CusLomers were LurnIng Lo Iook, were movIng cIeur.
"WIuL's LIe muLLer, Muceo?" someone suId.
"NoLIIng cuInL IundIe; LIIs conIIdencIng sonoIubILcI come In
Iere bIuIIIng -"
"You Luke IL eusv, oId mun," suId. "Don'L IeL vour mouLI geL vour
Ieud In LroubIe," LIInkIng, WIv um LuIkIng IIke LIIs?
"You don'L Iuve Lo worrv ubouL LIuL, sonoIubILcI, puII vour swILcI
bIude!"
"GIve IL Lo IIm, Muceo, cooIcruck LIe moLIerIouIer!"
murked LIe posILIon oI LIe voIce bv eur now, LurnIng so LIuL
couId see Muceo, LIe ugILuLor, und LIe cusLomers bIockIng LIe door.
Even LIe juke box Iud sLopped und couId IeeI LIe dunger mounLIng so
swIILIv LIuL moved wILIouL LIInkIng, boundIng over quIckIv und
sweepIng up u beer boLLIe, mv bodv LrembIIng.
"AII rIgIL," suId, "II LIuL's LIe wuv vou wunL IL, uII rIgIL! TIe nexL
one wIo LuIks ouL oI Lurn geLs LIIs!"
Muceo moved und IeInLed wILI LIe boLLIe, seeIng IIm dodge, IIs
urm seL Lo LIrow und IeId onIv becuuse wus crowdIng IIm; u durk oId
mun In overuIIs und u gruv Iong-bIIIed cIoLI cup, wIo Iooked dreumIIke
LIrougI LIe green gIusses.
"TIrow IL," suId. "Go on," overcome wILI LIe mudness oI LIe
LIIng. Here 'd seL ouL Lo LesL u dIsguIse on u IrIend und now wus
reudv Lo beuL IIm Lo IIs knees-noL becuuse wunLed Lo buL becuuse oI
pIuce und cIrcumsLunce. Okuv, okuv, IL wus ubsurd und veL reuI und
dungerous und II Ie moved, 'd IeL IIm Iuve IL us bruLuIIv us possIbIe.
To proLecL mvseII 'd Iuve Lo, or LIe drunks wouId gung me. Muceo wus
seL, IookIng uL me coIdIv, und suddenIv Ieurd u voIce boom ouL, "AIn'L
goIng Lo be no IIgILIng In mv joInL!" L wus BurreIIouse. "PuL LIem
LIIngs down v'uII, LIev cosL monev."
"HeII, BurreIIouse, IeL 'em IIgIL!"
"TIev cun IIgIL In LIe sLreeLs, noL In Iere-Hev, v'uII," Ie cuIIed
"Iook over Iere . . ."
suw IIm now, IeunIng Iorwurd wILI u pIsLoI In IIs Iuge IIsL,
resLIng IL sLeudv upon LIe bur.
"Now puL 'em down v'uII," Ie suId mournIuIIv. " done usk vou Lo
puL mv properLv down."
BroLIer Muceo Iooked Irom me Lo BurreIIouse.
"PuL IL down, oId mun," suId, LIInkIng, WIv um ucLIng Irom
prIde wIen LIIs Is noL reuIIv me?
"You puL vourn down," Ie suId.
"BoLI oI v'uII puL 'em down; und vou, RIneIurL," BurreIIouse suId,
gesLurIng uL me wILI IIs pIsLoI, "vou geL ouL oI mv joInL und sLuv ouL.
We don'L need vour monev In Iere."
sLurLed Lo proLesL, buL Ie IeId up IIs puIm.
"Now vou uII rIgIL wILI me, RIneIurL, don'L geL me wrong. BuL
jusL cun'L sLund LroubIe," BurreIIouse suId.
BroLIer Muceo Iud repIuced LIe sIuker now und puL mv boLLIe
down und bucked Lo LIe door.
"And RIne," BurreIIouse suId, "don'L go Lrv Lo puII no pIsLoI
neILIer, 'cuuse LIIs Iere one Is Iouded und goL u permIL."
bucked Lo LIe door, mv scuIp prIckIIng, wuLcIIng LIem boLI.
"NexL LIme don'L usk no quesLIons vou don'L wunL unswered,"
Muceo cuIIed. "An' II vou ever wunL Lo IInIsI LIIs urgumenL be rIgIL
Iere."
IeIL LIe ouLsIde uIr expIode uround me und sLood jusL bevond
LIe door IuugIIng wILI LIe sudden reIIeI oI LIe joke resLored, IookIng
buck uL LIe deIIunL oId mun In IIs Iong-bIIIed cup und LIe conIounded
eves oI LIe crowd. RIneIurL, RIneIurL, LIougIL, wIuL kInd oI mun Is
RIneIurL?
wus sLIII cIuckIIng wIen, In LIe nexL bIock, wuILed Ior LIe
LruIIIc IIgILs neur u group oI men wIo sLood on LIe corner pussIng u
boLLIe oI cIeup wIne beLween LIem us LIev dIscussed CIIILon's murder.
"WIuL we need Is some guns," one oI LIem suId. "An eve Ior un
eve."
"HeII ves, mucIIne guns. Puss me LIe sneukvpeLe, MuckIerov."
"Wusn'L Ior LIuL SuIIIvun uw LIIs Iere New York wouIdn'L be
noLIIng buL u sIooLIng guIIerv," unoLIer mun suId.
"Here's LIe sneukvpeLe, und don'L Lrv Lo IInd no Iome In LIuL
boLLIe."
"L's LIe onIv Iome goL, MuckIerov. You wunL Lo Luke LIuL uwuv
Irom me?"
"Mun, drInk up und puss LIe dumn boLLIe."
sLurLed uround LIem, IeurIng one oI LIem suv, "WIuL vou suvIng,
Mr. RIneIurL, Iow's vour Iummer IungIng?"
Even up Iere, LIougIL, begInnIng Lo Iurrv. "Heuvv, mun," suId,
knowIng LIe unswer Lo LIuL one, "verv Ieuvv." TIev IuugIed.
"WeII, IL'II be IIgILer bv mornIng."
"Suv, Iook uIere, Mr. RIneIurL, Iow ubouL gIvIng me u job?" one oI
LIem suId, upproucIIng me, und wuved und crossed LIe sLreeL,
wuIkIng rupIdIv down EIgILI Lowurd LIe nexL bus sLop.
TIe sIops und grocerIes were durk now, und cIIIdren were
runnIng und veIIIng uIong LIe wuIks, dodgIng In und ouL umong LIe
uduILs. wuIked, sLruck bv LIe mergIng IIuIdILv oI Iorms seen LIrougI
LIe Ienses. CouId LIIs be LIe wuv LIe worId uppeured Lo RIneIurL? AII
LIe durk-gIuss bovs? "or now we see us LIrougI u gIuss durkIv buL LIen
-buL LIen -" couIdn'L remember LIe resL.
SIe wus currvIng u sIoppIng bug und moved gIngerIv on Ier IeeL.
UnLII sIe LoucIed mv urm LIougIL LIuL sIe wus LuIkIng Lo IerseII.
" suv, purdon me, son, Iook IIke vou LrvIng Lo puss on bv me
LonIgIL. WIuL's LIe IInuI IIgger?"
"Igure? WIuL IIgure?"
"Now vou know wIuL meun," sIe suId, Ier voIce rIsIng us sIe puL
Ier Iunds on Ier IIps und Iooked Iorwurd. " meun Loduv's IusL
number. AIn'L vou RIne LIe runner?"
"RIne LIe runner?"
"Yus, RIneIurL LIe number mun. WIo vou LrvIng Lo IooI?"
"BuL LIuL's noL mv nume, mudume," suId, speukIng us precIseIv
us couId und sLeppIng uwuv Irom Ier. "You've mude u mIsLuke."
Her mouLI IeII wIde. "You uIn'L? WeII, wIv vou Iook so mucI IIke
IIm?" sIe suId wILI IoL doubL In Ier voIce. "Now, uIn'L LIIs Iere
someLIIng. eL me geL on Iome; II mv dreum come ouL, 'm-u Iuve Lo
go Iook LIuL ruscuI up. And Iere needs LIuL monev Loo."
" Iope vou won," suId, sLruInIng Lo see Ier cIeurIv, "und Iope
Ie puvs oII."
"TIunks, son, buL Ie'II puv oII uII rIgIL. cun see vou uIn'L
RIneIurL now LIougI. 'm sorrv Ior sLoppIng vou."
"L's uII rIgIL," suId.
"I 'd Iooked uL vour sIoes wouIdu known -"
"WIv?"
" 'Cuuse RIne LIe runner Is known Ior LIem knobLoed kInd."
wuLcIed Ier IImp uwuv, rockIng IIke LIe OId SIIp oI ZIon. No
wonder evervone knows IIm, LIougIL, In LIuL ruckeL vou Iuve Lo geL
uround. wus uwure oI mv bIuck-und-wIILe sIoes Ior LIe IIrsL LIme
sInce LIe duv oI CIIILon's sIooLIng.
WIen LIe squud cur veered cIose Lo LIe curb und roIIed uIong
sIowIv besIde me knew wIuL wus comIng beIore LIe cop opened IIs
mouLI.
"TIuL vou, RIneIurL, mv mun?" LIe cop wIo wus noL drIvIng suId.
He wus wIILe. couId see LIe sIIeId gIeumIng on IIs cup buL LIe
number wus vugue.
"NoL LIIs LIme, oIIIcer," suId.
"TIe IeII vou suv; wIuL're vou LrvIng Lo puII? s LIIs u IoIdouL?"
"You're mukIng u mIsLuke," suId. "'m noL RIneIurL."
TIe cur sLopped, u IIusIIIgIL beumed In mv green-Iensed eves. He
spuL InLo LIe sLreeL. "WeII, vou beLLer be bv mornIng," Ie suId, "und vou
beLLer Iuve our cuL In LIe reguIur pIuce. WIo LIe IeII vou LIInk vou
ure?" Ie cuIIed us LIe cur speeded up und uwuv.
And beIore couId Lurn u crowd oI men run up Irom LIe corner
pooI IuII. One oI LIem currIed un uuLomuLIc In IIs Iund.
"WIuL were LIose sonsubILcIes LrvIng Lo do Lo vou, duddv?" Ie
suId.
"L wus noLIIng, LIev LIougIL wus someone eIse."
"WIo'd LIev Luke vou Ior?"
Iooked uL LIem-were LIev crImInuIs or sImpIv men wIo were
worked up over LIe sIooLIng?
"Some guv numed RIneIurL," suId.
"RIneIurL-Hev, v'uII Ieur LIuL?" snorLed LIe IeIIow wILI LIe gun.
"RIneIurL! TIem puddIes musL be goIng sLone bIInd. Anvbodv cun see
vou uIn'L RIneIurL."
"BuL Ie do Iook IIke RIne," unoLIer mun suId, sLurIng uL me wILI
IIs Iunds In IIs Lrousers pockeLs.
"Ike IeII Ie does."
"HeII, mun, RIneIurL wouId be drIvIng LIuL CudIIIuc LIIs LIme oI
nIgIL. WIuL LIe IeII vou LuIkIng ubouL?"
"IsLen, Juck," LIe IeIIow wILI LIe gun suId, "don'L IeL nobodv
muke vou ucL IIke RIneIurL. You goL Lo Iuve u smooLI Longue, u
IeurLIess IeurL und be reudv Lo do unvLIIng. BuL II LIem puddIes boLIer
vou ugIn, jusL IeL us know. We uIm Lo sLop some oI LIIs Ieud-wIuppIng
LIev been doIng."
"Sure," suId.
"RIneIurL," Ie suId uguIn. "AIn'L LIuL u bILcI?"
TIev Lurned und wenL urguIng buck Lo LIe pooI IuII und IurrIed
ouL oI LIe neIgIborIood. HuvIng IorgoLLen Humbro Ior LIe momenL
wuIked eusL InsLeud oI wesL. wunLed Lo remove LIe gIusses buL decIded
uguInsL IL. Rus's men mIgIL sLIII be on LIe prowI.
L wus quIeLer now. No one puId me unv specIuI uLLenLIon,
uILIougI LIe sLreeL wus uIIve wILI pedesLrIuns, uII moIIIng uIong In LIe
mvsLerIous LInL oI green. PerIups 'm ouL oI IIs LerrILorv uL IusL,
LIougIL und begun LrvIng Lo pIuce RIneIurL In LIe scIeme oI LIIngs.
He's been uround uII LIe wIIIe, buL Iuve been IookIng In unoLIer
dIrecLIon. He wus uround und oLIers IIke IIm, buL Iud Iooked pusL
IIm unLII CIIILon's deuLI (or wus IL Rus?) Iud mude me uwure. WIuL on
eurLI wus IIdIng beIInd LIe Iuce oI LIIngs? I durk gIusses und u wIILe
IuL couId bIoL ouL mv IdenLILv so quIckIv, wIo ucLuuIIv wus wIo?
TIe perIume wus exoLIc und seemed Lo roII up LIe wuIk beIInd me
us becume uwure oI u womun sLroIIIng cusuuIIv beIInd me.
"'ve been wuILIng Ior vou Lo recognIze me, duddv," u voIce suId.
"'ve been wuILIng Ior vou u Iong LIme."
L wus u pIeusunL voIce wILI u sIIgILIv Iuskv edge und pIenLv oI
sIeep In IL.
"Don'L vou Ieur me, duddv?" sIe suId. And sLurLed Lo Iook
uround, IeurIng, "No, duddv, don'L Iook buck; mv oId mun mIgIL be
coId LruIIIng me. JusL wuIk uIong besIde me wIIIe LeII vou wIere Lo
meeL me. sweur LIougIL vou'd never come. WIII vou be ubIe Lo see
me LonIgIL?"
SIe Iud moved cIose Lo me now und suddenIv IeIL u Iund
IumbIIng uL mv juckeL pockeL.
"AII rIgIL, duddv, vou don'L Iuve Lo jump evII on me, Iere IL Is;
now wIII vou see me?"
sLopped deud, grubbIng Ier Iund und IookIng uL Ier, un exoLIc
gIrI even LIrougI LIe green gIusses, IookIng uL me wILI u smIIe LIuL
suddenIv broke. "RIneIurL, duddv, wIuL's LIe muLLer?"
So Iere IL goes uguIn, LIougIL, IoIdIng Ier LIgILIv.
"'m noL RIneIurL, MIss," suId. "And Ior LIe IIrsL LIme LonIgIL 'm
LruIv sorrv."
"BuL BIIss, duddv-RIneIurL! You're noL LrvIng Lo puL vour bubv
down-Duddv, wIuL dId do?"
SIe seIzed mv urm und we were poIsed Iuce Lo Iuce In LIe mIddIe
oI LIe wuIk. And suddenIv sIe screumed, "OooooooI! You reuIIv uren'L!
And me LrvIng Lo gIve vou IIs monev. GeL uwuv Irom me, vou dumb
JoIn. GeL uwuv Irom me!"
bucked oII. Her Iuce wus dIsLorLed us sIe sLumped Ier IIgI IeeIs
und screumed. BeIInd me Ieurd someone suv, "Hev, wIuL wus LIuL?"
IoIIowed bv LIe sound oI runnIng IeeL us sIoL oII und uround LIe
corner uwuv Irom Ier screums. TIuL IoveIv gIrI, LIougIL, LIuL IoveIv
gIrI.
SeveruI bIocks uwuv sLopped, ouL oI breuLI. And boLI pIeused
und ungrv. How sLupId couId peopIe be? Wus evervone suddenIv nuLs?
Iooked ubouL me. L wus u brIgIL sLreeL, LIe wuIks IuII oI peopIe.
sLood uL LIe curb LrvIng Lo breuLIe. Up LIe sLreeL u sIgn wILI u cross
gIowed ubove LIe wuIk:
HOY WAY STATON
BEHOD THE VNG GOD
TIe IeLLers gIowed durk green und wondered II IL were Irom LIe Ienses
or LIe ucLuuI coIor oI LIe neon Lubes. A coupIe oI drunks sLumbIed pusL.
Ieuded Ior Humbro's, pussIng u mun sILLIng on LIe curb wILI IIs Ieud
benL over IIs knees. Curs pussed. wenL on. Two soIemn-Iuced cIIIdren
cume pussIng ouL IundbIIIs wIIcI IIrsL reIused, LIen wenL buck und
Look. AILer uII, Iud Lo know wIuL wus goIng on In LIe communILv.
Look LIe bIII und sLepped cIose Lo LIe sLreeL IIgIL, reudIng.
BeIoId LIe nvIsIbIe
TIv wIII be done O ord!
See uII, Know uII. TeII uII, Cure uII.
You sIuII see LIe unknown wonders.
- REV. B. P. RNEHART,
SpIrILuuI TecInoIogIsL.
TIe oId Is ever new
Wuv SLuLIons In New OrIeuns, LIe Iome oI mvsLerv,
BIrmIngIum, New York, CIIcugo, DeLroIL und . A.
No ProbIem Loo Hurd Ior God.
Come Lo LIe Wuv SLuLIon.
BEHOD THE NVSBE!
ALLend our servIces, pruver meeLIngs TIrIce weekIv
JoIn us In LIe NEW REVEATON oI LIe OD TME REGON!
BEHOD THE SEEN UNSEEN
BEHOD THE NVSBE
YE WHO ARE WEARY COME HOME!
DO WHAT YOU WANT DONE! DON'T WAT!
dropped LIe IeuIIeL InLo LIe guLLer und moved on. wuIked
sIowIv, mv breuLI sLIII comIng Iurd. CouId IL be? Soon reucIed LIe
sIgn. L Iung ubove u sLore LIuL Iud been converLed InLo u cIurcI, und
sLepped InLo LIe sIuIIow Iobbv und wIped mv Iuce wILI u IundkercIIeI.
BeIInd me Ieurd LIe rIse und IuII oI un oId-IusIIoned pruver sucI us
Iudn'L Ieurd sInce IeuvIng LIe cumpus; und LIen onIv wIen vIsILIng
counLrv preucIers were usked Lo pruv. TIe voIce rose und IeII In u
rIvLImIcuI, dreumIIke recILuI-purL enumeruLIon oI eurLIIv LrIuIs
undergone bv LIe congreguLIon, purL rupL dIspIuv oI vocuI vIrLuosILv,
purL uppeuI Lo God. wus sLIII wIpIng mv Iuce und squInLIng uL crude
BIbIIcuI scenes puInLed on LIe wIndows wIen Lwo oId IudIes cume up Lo
me.
"Even', Rever'n RIneIurL," one oI LIem suId. "How's our deur
pusLor LIIs wurm evenIng?"
OI, no, LIougIL, buL perIups ugreeIng wIII cuuse Iess LroubIe
LIun denvIng, und suId, "Good evenIng, sIsLers," muIIIIng mv voIce
wILI mv IundkercIIeI und cuLcIIng LIe odor oI LIe gIrI's perIume Irom
mv Iund.
"TIIs Iere's SIsLer HurrIs, Rever'n. SIe come Lo joIn our IILLIe
bund."
"God bIess vou, SIsLer HurrIs," suId, LukIng Ier exLended Iund.
"You know, Rever'n, once Ieurd vou preucI veurs ugo. You wus
jusL u III' oIe LweIve-veur-oId bov, buck In VIrgInIu. And Iere come
NorLI und IInd vou, pruIse God, sLIII preucIIng LIe gospeI, doIng LIe
ord's work. SLIII preucIIng LIe oIe LIme reIIgIon Iere In LIIs wIcked
cILv -"
"Er, SIsLer HurrIs," LIe oLIer sIsLer suId, "we beLLer geL on In und
IInd our seuLs. BesIdes, LIe pusLor's kInd oI goL LIIngs Lo do. TIougI
vou ure Iere u IILLIe eurIv, uren'L vou, Rever'n?"
"Yes," suId, dubbIng mv mouLI wILI mv IundkercIIeI. TIev were
moLIerIv oId women oI LIe souLIern Lvpe und suddenIv IeIL u
numeIess despuIr. wunLed Lo LeII LIem LIuL RIneIurL wus u Iruud, buL
now LIere cume u sIouL Irom InsIde LIe cIurcI und Ieurd u bursL oI
musIc.
"JusL IIssen Lo IL, SIsLer HurrIs. TIuL's LIe new kInd oI guILur musIc
LoId vou Rever'n RIneIurL goL Ior us. AIn'L IL IeuvenIv?"
"PruIse God," SIsLer HurrIs suId. "PruIse God!"
"Excuse us, Rever'n, Iuve Lo see SIsLer JudkIns ubouL LIe monev
sIe coIIecLed Ior LIe buIIdIng Iund. And, Rever'n, IusL nIgIL soId Len
recordIngs oI vour InspIrIng sermon. Even soId one Lo LIe wIILe Iudv
work Ior."
"BIess vou," Iound mvseII suvIng In u voIce Ieuvv wILI despuIr,
"bIess vou, bIess vou."
TIen LIe door opened und Iooked pusL LIeIr Ieuds InLo u smuII
crowded room oI men und women sILLIng In IoIdIng cIuIrs, Lo LIe IronL
wIere u sIender womun In u rusLv bIuck robe pIuved pussIonuLe boogIe-
woogIe on un uprIgIL pIuno uIong wILI u voung mun weurIng u skuII cup
wIo sLruck rIgILeous rIIIs Irom un eIecLrIc guILur wIIcI wus connecLed
Lo un umpIIIIer LIuL Iung Irom LIe ceIIIng ubove u gIeumIng wIILe und
goId puIpIL. A mun In un eIegunL red curdInuI's robe und u IIgI Iuce
coIIur sLood resLIng uguInsL un enormous BIbIe und now begun Lo Ieud u
Iurd-drIvIng Ivmn wIIcI LIe congreguLIon sIouLed In LIe unknown
Longue. And buck und IIgI on LIe wuII ubove IIm LIere urcIed LIe
words In IeLLers oI goId:
ET THERE BE GHT!
TIe wIoIe scene quIvered vugue und mvsLerIous In LIe green IIgIL,
LIen LIe door cIosed und LIe sound muLed down.
L wus Loo mucI Ior me. removed mv gIusses und Lucked LIe
wIILe IuL cureIuIIv beneuLI mv urm und wuIked uwuv. Cun IL be,
LIougIL, cun IL ucLuuIIv be? And knew LIuL IL wus. Iud Ieurd oI IL
beIore buL 'd never come so cIose. SLIII, couId Ie be uII oI LIem: RIne
LIe runner und RIne LIe gumbIer und RIne LIe brIber und RIne LIe
Iover und RIneIurL LIe Reverend? CouId Ie IImseII be boLI rInd und
IeurL? WIuL Is reuI unvwuv? BuL Iow couId doubL IL? He wus u broud
mun, u mun oI purLs wIo goL uround. RIneIurL LIe rounder. L wus Lrue
us wus Lrue. HIs worId wus possIbIIILv und Ie knew IL. He wus veurs
uIeud oI me und wus u IooI. musL Iuve been cruzv und bIInd. TIe
worId In wIIcI we IIved wus wILIouL boundurIes. A vusL seeLIIng, IoL
worId oI IIuIdILv, und RIne LIe ruscuI wus uL Iome. PerIups onIv RIne
LIe ruscuI wus uL Iome In IL. L wus unbeIIevubIe, buL perIups onIv LIe
unbeIIevubIe couId be beIIeved. PerIups LIe LruLI wus uIwuvs u IIe.
PerIups, LIougIL, LIe wIoIe LIIng sIouId roII oII me IIke drops
oI wuLer roIIIng oII Juck's gIuss eve. sIouId seurcI ouL LIe proper
poIILIcuI cIussIIIcuLIon, IubeI RIneIurL und IIs sILuuLIon und quIckIv
IorgeL IL. IurrIed uwuv Irom LIe cIurcI so swIILIv LIuL Iound mvseII
buck uL LIe oIIIce beIore remembered LIuL wus goIng Lo Humbro's.
wus boLI depressed und IuscInuLed. wunLed Lo know RIneIurL
und veL, LIougIL, 'm upseL becuuse know don'L Iuve Lo know IIm,
LIuL sImpIv becomIng uwure oI IIs exIsLence, beIng mIsLuken Ior IIm, Is
enougI Lo convInce me LIuL RIneIurL Is reuI. L couIdn'L be, buL IL Is.
And IL cun be, Is, sImpIv becuuse IL's unknown. Juck wouIdn'L dreum oI
sucI u possIbIIILv, nor TobILL, wIo LIInks Ie's so cIose. Too IILLIe wus
known, Loo mucI wus In LIe durk. LIougIL oI CIIILon und oI Juck
IImseII; Iow mucI wus reuIIv known ubouL eILIer oI LIem? How mucI
wus known ubouL me? WIo Irom mv oId IIIe Iud cIuIIenged me? And
uILer uII LIIs LIme Iud jusL dIscovered Juck's mIssIng eve.
Mv enLIre bodv sLurLed Lo ILcI, us LIougI Iud jusL been removed
Irom u pIusLer cusL und wus unused Lo LIe new Ireedom oI movemenL.
n LIe SouLI evervone knew vou, buL comIng NorLI wus u jump InLo LIe
unknown. How munv duvs couId vou wuIk LIe sLreeLs oI LIe bIg cILv
wILIouL encounLerIng unvone wIo knew vou, und Iow munv nIgILs?
You couId ucLuuIIv muke vourseII unew. TIe noLIon wus IrIgILenIng, Ior
now LIe worId seemed Lo IIow beIore mv eves. AII boundurIes down,
Ireedom wus noL onIv LIe recognILIon oI necessILv, IL wus LIe
recognILIon oI possIbIIILv. And sILLIng LIere LrembIIng cuugIL u brIeI
gIImpse oI LIe possIbIIILIes posed bv RIneIurL's muILIpIe personuIILIes
und Lurned uwuv. L wus Loo vusL und conIusIng Lo conLempIuLe. TIen
Iooked uL LIe poIIsIed Ienses oI LIe gIusses und IuugIed. Iud been
LrvIng sImpIv Lo Lurn LIem InLo u dIsguIse buL LIev Iud become u
poIILIcuI InsLrumenL InsLeud; Ior II RIneIurL couId use LIem In IIs work,
no doubL couId use LIem In mIne. L wus Loo sImpIe, und veL LIev Iud
uIreudv opened up u new secLIon oI reuIILv Ior me. WIuL wouId LIe
commILLee suv ubouL LIuL? WIuL dId LIeIr LIeorv LeII LIem oI sucI u
worId? recuIIed u reporL oI u sIoesIIne bov wIo Iud encounLered LIe
besL LreuLmenL In LIe SouLI sImpIv bv weurIng u wIILe Lurbun InsLeud
oI IIs usuuI Dobbs or SLeLson, und IeII InLo u IIL oI IuugIIng. Juck
wouId be ouLruged uL LIe verv suggesLIon oI sucI u sLuLe oI LIIngs. And
veL LIere wus LruLI In IL; LIIs wus LIe reuI cIuos wIIcI Ie LIougIL Ie
wus descrIbIng-so Iong ugo IL seemed now . . . OuLsIde LIe
BroLIerIood we were ouLsIde IIsLorv; buL InsIde oI IL LIev dIdn'L see us.
L wus u IeII oI u sLuLe oI uIIuIrs, we were nowIere. wunLed Lo buck
uwuv Irom IL, buL sLIII wunLed Lo dIscuss IL, Lo consuIL someone wIo'd
LeII me IL wus onIv u brIeI, emoLIonuI IIIusIon. wunLed LIe props puL
buck beneuLI LIe worId. So now Iud u reuI need Lo see Humbro.
GeLLIng up Lo go, Iooked uL LIe wuII mup und IuugIed uL
CoIumbus. WIuL un ndIu Ie'd Iound! wus uImosL ucross LIe IuII
wIen remembered und cume buck und puL on LIe IuL und gIusses. 'd
need LIem Lo currv me LIrougI LIe sLreeLs.
Look u cub. Humbro IIved In LIe WesL EIgILIes, und once In LIe
vesLIbuIe Lucked LIe IuL under mv urm und puL LIe gIusses In mv
pockeL uIong wILI BroLIer Turp's Ieg cIuIn und CIIILon's doII. Mv pockeL
wus geLLIng overIouded.
wus sIown InLo u smuII, book-IIned sLudv bv Humbro IImseII.
rom unoLIer purL oI LIe upurLmenL cume u cIIId's voIce sIngIng
HumpLv DumpLv, uwukenIng IumIIIuLIng memorIes oI mv IIrsL EusLer
progrum durIng wIIcI Iud sLood beIore LIe cIurcI uudIence und
IorgoLLen LIe words . . .
"Mv kId," Humbro suId, "IIIIbusLerIng uguInsL goIng Lo bed. A reuI
seu Iuwver, LIuL kId."
TIe cIIId wus sIngIng HIckorv DIckorv Dock, verv IusL, us Humbro
sIuL LIe door. He wus suvIng someLIIng ubouL LIe cIIId und Iooked uL
IIm wILI sudden IrrILuLIon. WILI RIneIurL on mv mInd, wIv Iud
come Iere?
Humbro wus so LuII LIuL wIen Ie crossed IIs Iegs boLI IeeL
LoucIed LIe IIoor. He Iud been mv LeucIer durIng mv perIod oI
IndocLrInuLIon und now reuIIzed LIuL sIouIdn'L Iuve come.
Humbro's Iuwver's mInd wus Loo nurrowIv IogIcuI. He'd see RIneIurL
sImpIv us u crImInuI, mv obsessIon us u IuII InLo pure mvsLIcIsm . . .
You'd beLLer Iope LIuL Is LIe wuv Ie'II see IL, LIougIL. TIen decIded
Lo usk IIm ubouL condILIons upLown und Ieuve . . .
"ook, BroLIer Humbro," suId, "wIuL's Lo be done ubouL mv
dIsLrIcL?"
He Iooked uL me wILI u drv smIIe. "Huve become one oI LIose
bores wIo LuIk Loo mucI ubouL LIeIr cIIIdren?"
"OI, no, IL's noL LIuL," suId. "'ve Iud u Iurd duv. 'm nervous.
WILI CIIILon's deuLI und LIIngs In LIe dIsLrIcL so bud, guess . . ."
"OI course," Ie suId, sLIII smIIIng, "buL wIv ure vou worrIed ubouL
LIe dIsLrIcL?"
"Becuuse LIIngs ure geLLIng ouL oI Iund. Rus's men LrIed Lo rougI
me up LonIgIL und our sLrengLI Is sLeudIIv goIng Lo IeII."
"TIuL's regreLLubIe," Ie suId, "buL LIere's noLIIng Lo be done ubouL
IL LIuL wouIdn'L upseL LIe Iurger pIun. L's unIorLunuLe, BroLIer, buL
vour members wIII Iuve Lo be sucrIIIced."
TIe dIsLunL cIIId Iud sLopped sIngIng now, und IL wus deud quIeL.
Iooked uL LIe unguIur composure oL IIs Iuce seurcIIng Ior LIe sIncerILv
In IIs words. couId IeeI some deep cIunge. L wus us LIougI mv
dIscoverv oI RIneIurL Iud opened u guII beLween us over wIIcI, LIougI
we suL wILIIn LoucIIng dIsLunce, our voIces bureIv currIed und LIen IeII
IIuL, wILIouL un ecIo. LrIed Lo sIuke IL uwuv, buL sLIII LIe dIsLunce, so
greuL LIuL neILIer couId grusp LIe emoLIonuI Lone oI LIe oLIer,
remuIned.
"SucrIIIce?" mv voIce suId. "You suv LIuL verv eusIIv."
"JusL LIe sume, LIougI, uII wIo Ieuve musL be consIdered
expendubIe. TIe new dIrecLIves musL be IoIIowed rIgIdIv."
L sounded unreuI, un unLIpIonuI gume. "BuL wIv?" suId. "WIv
musL LIe dIrecLIves be cIunged In mv dIsLrIcL wIen LIe oId meLIods ure
needed-especIuIIv now?" SomeIow couIdn'L geL LIe needed urgencv
InLo mv words, und beneuLI IL uII someLIIng ubouL RIneIurL boLIered
me, durLed jusL beneuLI LIe surIuce oI mv mInd; someLIIng LIuL Iud Lo
do wILI me InLImuLeIv.
"L's sImpIe, BroLIer," Humbro wus suvIng. "We ure mukIng
Lemporurv uIIIunces wILI oLIer poIILIcuI groups und LIe InLeresLs oI one
group oI broLIers musL be sucrIIIced Lo LIuL oL LIe wIoIe."
"WIv wusn'L LoId oI LIIs?" suId.
"You wIII be, In LIme, bv LIe commILLee-SucrIIIce Is necessurv
now -"
"BuL sIouIdn'L sucrIIIce be mude wIIIIngIv bv LIose wIo know
wIuL LIev ure doIng? Mv peopIe don'L undersLund wIv LIev're beIng
sucrIIIced. TIev don'L even know LIev're beIng sucrIIIced-uL IeusL noL
bv us . . ." BuL wIuL, mv mInd wenL on, II LIev're us wIIIIng Lo be duped
bv LIe BroLIerIood us bv RIneIurL?
suL up uL LIe LIougIL und LIere musL Iuve been un odd
expressIon on mv Iuce, Ior Humbro, wIo wus resLIng IIs eIbows upon
LIe urms oI IIs cIuIr und LoucIIng IIs IIngerLIps LogeLIer, ruIsed IIs
evebrows us LIougI expecLIng me Lo conLInue. TIen Ie suId, "TIe
dIscIpIIned members wIII undersLund."
puIIed Turp's Ieg cIuIn Irom mv pockeL und sIIpped IL over mv
knuckIes. He dIdn'L noLIce. "Don'L vou reuIIze LIuL we Iuve onIv u
IundIuI oI dIscIpIIned members IeIL? Toduv LIe IuneruI brougIL ouL
Iundreds wIo'II drop uwuv us soon us LIev see we're noL IoIIowIng
LIrougI. And now we're beIng uLLucked on LIe sLreeLs. Cun'L vou
undersLund? OLIer groups ure cIrcuIuLIng peLILIons, Rus Is cuIIIng Ior
vIoIence. TIe commILLee Is mIsLuken II LIev LIInk LIIs Is goIng Lo dIe
down."
He sIrugged. "L's u rIsk wIIcI we musL Luke. AII oI us musL
sucrIIIce Ior LIe good oI LIe wIoIe. CIunge Is ucIIeved LIrougI
sucrIIIce. We IoIIow LIe Iuws oI reuIILv, so we muke sucrIIIces."
"BuL LIe communILv Is demundIng equuIILv oI sucrIIIce," suId.
"We've never usked Ior specIuI LreuLmenL."
"L Isn'L LIuL sImpIe, BroLIer," Ie suId. "We Iuve Lo proLecL our
guIns. L's InevILubIe LIuL some musL muke greuLer sucrIIIces LIun
oLIers . . ."
"TIuL 'some' beIng mv peopIe . . ."
"n LIIs InsLunce, ves."
"So LIe weuk musL sucrIIIce Ior LIe sLrong? s LIuL IL, BroLIer?"
"No, u purL oI LIe wIoIe Is sucrIIIced-und wIII conLInue Lo be unLII
u new socIeLv Is Iormed."
" don'L geL IL," suId. " jusL don'L geL IL. We work our IeurLs ouL
LrvIng Lo geL LIe peopIe Lo IoIIow us und jusL wIen LIev do, jusL wIen
LIev see LIeIr reIuLIonsIIp Lo evenLs, we drop LIem. don'L see IL."
Humbro smIIed remoLeIv. "We don'L Iuve Lo worrv ubouL LIe
uggressIveness oI LIe Negroes. NoL durIng LIe new perIod or unv oLIer.
n IucL, we now Iuve Lo sIow LIem down Ior LIeIr own good. L's u
scIenLIIIc necessILv."
Iooked uL IIm, uL LIe Iong, bonv, uImosL IncoInesque Iuce.
mIgIL Iuve IIked IIm, LIougIL, Ie seems Lo be u reuIIv kInd und
sIncere mun und veL Ie cun suv LIIs Lo me . . .
"So vou reuIIv beIIeve LIuL," suId quIeLIv.
"WILI uII mv InLegrILv," Ie suId.
or u second LIougIL 'd IuugI. Or IeL IIv wILI Turp's IInk.
nLegrILv! He LuIks Lo me oI InLegrILv! descrIbed u cIrcIe In LIe uIr. 'd
LrIed Lo buIId mv InLegrILv upon LIe roIe oI BroLIerIood und now IL Iud
cIunged Lo wuLer, uIr. WIuL wus InLegrILv? WIuL dId IL Iuve Lo do wILI
u worId In wIIcI RIneIurL wus possIbIe und successIuI?
"BuL wIuL's cIunged?" suId. "Wusn'L brougIL In Lo urouse LIeIr
uggressIveness?" Mv voIce IeII sud, IopeIess.
"or LIuL purLIcuIur perIod," Humbro suId, IeunIng u IILLIe Iorwurd.
"OnIv Ior LIuL perIod."
"And wIuL wIII Iuppen now?" suId.
He bIew u smoke rIng, LIe bIue-gruv cIrcIe rIsIng up boIIIng wILIIn
ILs own jeLLIng Iorm, IoverIng Ior un InsLunL LIen dIsInLegruLIng InLo u
weuvIng sLrund.
"CIeer up!" Ie suId. "We sIuII progress. OnIv now LIev musL be
brougIL uIong more sIowIv . . ."
How wouId Ie Iook LIrougI LIe green Ienses? LIougIL, suvIng,
"Are vou sure vou're noL suvIng LIuL LIev musL be IeId buck?"
He cIuckIed. "Now, IIsLen," Ie suId. "Don'L sLreLcI me on u ruck oI
dIuIecLIc. 'm u broLIer."
"You meun LIe brukes musL be puL on LIe oId wIeeI oI IIsLorv,"
suId. "Or Is IL LIe IILLIe wIeeIs wILIIn LIe wIeeI?"
HIs Iuce sobered. " meun onIv LIuL LIev musL be brougIL uIong
more sIowIv. TIev cun'L be uIIowed Lo upseL LIe Lempo oI LIe musLer
pIun. TImIng Is uII ImporLunL. BesIdes, vou sLIII Iuve u job Lo do, onIv
now IL wIII be more educuLIonuI."
"And wIuL ubouL LIe sIooLIng?"
"TIose wIo ure dIssuLIsIIed wIII drop uwuv und LIose wIo remuIn
vou'II LeucI . . ."
" don'L LIInk cun," suId.
"WIv? L's jusL us ImporLunL."
"Becuuse LIev ure uguInsL us; besIdes, 'd IeeI IIke RIneIurL . . ." L
sIIpped ouL und Ie Iooked uL me.
"Ike wIo?"
"Ike u cIurIuLun," suId.
Humbro IuugIed. " LIougIL vou Iud Ieurned ubouL LIuL, BroLIer."
IooLed uL IIm quIckIv. "eurned wIuL?"
"TIuL IL's ImpossIbIe noL Lo Luke udvunLuge oI LIe peopIe."
"TIuL's RIneIurLIsm-cvnIcIsm . . ."
"WIuL?"
"CvnIcIsm," suId.
"NoL cvnIcIsm-reuIIsm. TIe LrIck Is Lo Luke udvunLuge oI LIem In
LIeIr own besL InLeresL."
suL Iorwurd In mv cIuIr, suddenIv conscIous oI LIe unreuIILv oI
LIe conversuLIon. "BuL wIo Is Lo judge? Juck? TIe commILLee?"
"We judge LIrougI cuILIvuLIng scIenLIIIc objecLIvILv," Ie suId wILI u
voIce LIuL Iud u smIIe In IL, und suddenIv suw LIe IospILuI mucIIne,
IeIL us LIougI Iocked In uguIn.
"Don'L kId vourseII," suId. "TIe onIv scIenLIIIc objecLIvILv Is u
mucIIne."
"DIscIpIIne, noL mucIInerv," Ie suId. "We're scIenLIsLs. We musL
Luke LIe rIsks oI our scIence und our wIII Lo ucIIeve. WouId vou IIke Lo
resurrecL God Lo Luke responsIbIIILv?" He sIook IIs Ieud. "No, BroLIer,
we Iuve Lo muke sucI decIsIons ourseIves. Even II we musL someLImes
uppeur us cIurIuLuns."
"You're In Ior some surprIses," suId.
"Muvbe so und muvbe noL," Ie suId. "AL unv ruLe, LIrougI our verv
posILIon In LIe vunguurd we musL do und suv LIe LIIngs necessurv Lo
geL LIe greuLesL number oI LIe peopIe Lo move Lowurd wIuL Is Ior LIeIr
own good."
SuddenIv couIdn'L sLund IL.
"ook uL me! ook uL me!" suId. "EvervwIere 've Lurned
somebodv Ius wunLed Lo sucrIIIce me Ior mv good-onIv LIev were LIe
ones wIo beneIILed. And now we sLurL on LIe oId sucrIIIcIuI merrv-go-
round. AL wIuL poInL do we sLop? s LIIs LIe new Lrue deIInILIon, Is
BroLIerIood u muLLer oI sucrIIIcIng LIe weuk? I so, uL wIuL poInL do we
sLop?"
Humbro Iooked us LIougI were noL LIere. "AL LIe proper
momenL scIence wIII sLop us. And oI course we us IndIvIduuIs musL
svmpuLIeLIcuIIv debunk ourseIves. Even LIougI IL does onIv u IILLIe
good. BuL LIen," Ie sIrugged, "II vou go Loo Iur In LIuL dIrecLIon vou
cun'L preLend Lo Ieud. You'II Iose vour conIIdence. You won'L beIIeve
enougI In vour own correcLness Lo Ieud oLIers. You musL LIereIore
Iuve conIIdence In LIose wIo Ieud vou-In LIe coIIecLIve wIsdom oI
BroLIerIood."
IeIL In u worse sLuLe LIun LIuL In wIIcI 'd come. SeveruI
buIIdIngs uwuv Ieurd IIm cuII beIInd me, wuLcIed IIm upproucI
LIrougI LIe durk.
"You IeIL vour IuL," Ie suId, IundIng IL Lo me uIong wILI LIe
mImeogrupIed sIeeLs oI InsLrucLIons ouLIInIng LIe new progrum.
Iooked uL LIe IuL und uL IIm, LIInkIng oI RIneIurL und InvIsIbIIILv, buL
knew LIuL Ior IIm IL wouId Iuve no reuIILv. LoId IIm good nIgIL und
wenL LIrougI LIe IoL sLreeL Lo CenLruI Purk WesL, sLurLIng Lowurd
HurIem.
SucrIIIce und IeudersIIp, LIougIL. or IIm IL wus sImpIe. or
LIem IL wus sImpIe. BuL IeII, wus boLI. BoLI sucrIIIcer und vIcLIm.
couIdn'L geL uwuv Irom LIuL, und Humbro dIdn'L Iuve Lo deuI wILI IL.
TIuL wus reuIILv Loo, mv reuIILv. He dIdn'L Iuve Lo puL LIe knIIe bIude Lo
IIs own LIrouL. WIuL wouId Ie suv II Ie were LIe vIcLIm?
wuIked uIong LIe purk In LIe durk. Curs pussed. rom LIme Lo
LIme LIe sound oI voIces, squeuIIng IuugILer, urose Irom bevond LIe
Lrees und Iedges. couId smeII LIe sun-sInged gruss. TIe skv uguInsL
wIIcI un uIrpIune beucon pIuved wus sLIII overcusL. LIougIL oI Juck,
LIe peopIe uL LIe IuneruI, RIneIurL. TIev'd usked us Ior breud und LIe
besL couId gIve wus u gIuss eve-noL so mucI us un eIecLrIc guILur.
sLopped und dropped Lo u bencI. sIouId Ieuve, LIougIL. TIuL
wouId be LIe IonesL LIIng Lo do. OLIerwIse couId onIv LeII LIem Lo
Iuve Iope und Lrv Lo IoId on Lo LIose wIo'd IIsLen. Wus LIuL uIso wIuL
RIneIurL wus, u prIncIpIe oI Iope Ior wIIcI LIev gIudIv puId? OLIerwIse
LIere wus noLIIng buL beLruvuI, und LIuL meunL goIng buck Lo serve
BIedsoe, und Emerson, jumpIng Irom LIe poL oI ubsurdILv Lo LIe IIre oI
LIe rIdIcuIous. And eILIer wus u seII-beLruvuI. BuL couIdn'L Ieuve;
Iud Lo seLLIe wILI Juck und TobILL. owed IL Lo CIIILon und Turp und LIe
oLIers. Iud Lo IoId on ... und LIen Iud un Ideu LIuL sIook me
proIoundIv: You don'L Iuve Lo worrv ubouL LIe peopIe. I LIev LoIeruLe
RIneIurL, LIen LIev wIII IorgeL IL und even wILI LIem vou ure InvIsIbIe.
L IusLed onIv LIe IrucLIon oI u second und rejecLed IL ImmedIuLeIv; sLIII
IL Iud IIusIed ucross LIe durk skv oI mv mInd. L wus jusL IIke LIuL. L
dIdn'L muLLer becuuse LIev dIdn'L reuIIze jusL wIuL Iud Iuppened,
neILIer mv Iope nor mv IuIIure. Mv umbILIon und InLegrILv were
noLIIng Lo LIem und mv IuIIure wus us meunIngIess us CIIILon's. L Iud
been LIuL wuv uII uIong. OnIv In LIe BroLIerIood Iud LIere seemed u
cIunce Ior sucI us us, LIe mere gIImmer oI u IIgIL, buL beIInd LIe
poIIsIed und Iumune Iucude oI Juck's eve 'd Iound un umorpIous
Iorm und u IursI red ruwness. And even LIuL wus wILIouL meunIng
excepL Ior me.
WeII, wus und veL wus InvIsIbIe, LIuL wus LIe IundumenLuI
conLrudIcLIon. wus und veL wus unseen. L wus IrIgILenIng und us
suL LIere sensed unoLIer IrIgILenIng worId oI possIbIIILIes. or now
suw LIuL couId ugree wILI Juck wILIouL ugreeIng. And couId LeII
HurIem Lo Iuve Iope wIen LIere wus no Iope. PerIups couId LeII
LIem Lo Iope unLII Iound LIe busIs oI someLIIng reuI, some IIrm
ground Ior ucLIon LIuL wouId Ieud LIem onLo LIe pIune oI IIsLorv. BuL
unLII LIen wouId Iuve Lo move LIem wILIouL mvseII beIng moved . . .
'd Iuve Lo do u RIneIurL.
Ieuned uguInsL u sLone wuII uIong LIe purk, LIInkIng oI Juck und
Humbro und oI LIe duv's evenLs und sIook wILI ruge. L wus uII u
swIndIe, un obscene swIndIe! TIev Iud seL LIemseIves up Lo descrIbe
LIe worId. WIuL dId LIev know oI us, excepL LIuL we numbered so
munv, worked on cerLuIn jobs, oIIered so munv voLes, und provIded so
munv murcIers Ior some proLesL purude oI LIeIrs! Ieuned LIere,
ucIIng Lo IumIIIuLe LIem, Lo reIuLe LIem. And now uII pusL
IumIIIuLIons becume precIous purLs oI mv experIence, und Ior LIe IIrsL
LIme, IeunIng uguInsL LIuL sLone wuII In LIe sweILerIng nIgIL, begun Lo
uccepL mv pusL und, us uccepLed IL, IeIL memorIes weIIIng up wILIIn
me. L wus us LIougI 'd Ieurned suddenIv Lo Iook uround corners;
Imuges oI pusL IumIIIuLIons IIIckered LIrougI mv Ieud und suw LIuL
LIev were more LIun sepuruLe experIences. TIev were me; LIev deIIned
me. wus mv experIences und mv experIences were me, und no bIInd
men, no muLLer Iow powerIuI LIev becume, even II LIev conquered LIe
worId, couId Luke LIuL, or cIunge one sIngIe ILcI, LuunL, IuugI, crv, scur,
ucIe, ruge or puIn oI IL. TIev were bIInd, buL bIInd, movIng onIv bv LIe
ecIoed sounds oI LIeIr own voIces. And becuuse LIev were bIInd LIev
wouId desLrov LIemseIves und 'd IeIp LIem. IuugIed. Here Iud
LIougIL LIev uccepLed me becuuse LIev IeIL LIuL coIor mude no
dIIIerence, wIen In reuIILv IL mude no dIIIerence becuuse LIev dIdn'L see
eILIer coIor or men . . . or uII LIev were concerned, we were so munv
numes scrIbbIed on Iuke buIIoLs, Lo be used uL LIeIr convenIence und
wIen noL needed Lo be IIIed uwuv. L wus u joke, un ubsurd joke. And
now Iooked uround u corner oI mv mInd und suw Juck und NorLon
und Emerson merge InLo one sIngIe wIILe IIgure. TIev were verv mucI
LIe sume, eucI uLLempLIng Lo Iorce IIs pIcLure oI reuIILv upon me und
neILIer gIvIng u IooL In IeII Ior Iow LIIngs Iooked Lo me. wus sImpIv u
muLerIuI, u nuLuruI resource Lo be used. Iud swILcIed Irom LIe
urrogunL ubsurdILv oI NorLon und Emerson Lo LIuL oI Juck und LIe
BroLIerIood, und IL uII cume ouL LIe sume-excepL now recognIzed
mv InvIsIbIIILv.
So 'd uccepL IL, 'd expIore IL, rIne und IeurL. 'd pIunge InLo IL
wILI boLI IeeL und LIev'd gug. OI, buL wouIdn'L LIev gug. dIdn'L know
wIuL mv grundIuLIer Iud meunL, buL wus reudv Lo LesL IIs udvIce. 'd
overcome LIem wILI veses, undermIne LIem wILI grIns, 'd ugree LIem
Lo deuLI und desLrucLIon. Yes, und 'd IeL LIem swuIIow me unLII LIev
vomILed or bursL wIde open. eL LIem gug on wIuL LIev reIused Lo see.
eL LIem cIoke on IL. TIuL wus one rIsk LIev Iudn'L cuIcuIuLed. TIuL
wus u rIsk LIev Iud never dreumL oI In LIeIr pIIIosopIv. Nor dId LIev
know LIuL LIev couId dIscIpIIne LIemseIves Lo desLrucLIon, LIuL suvIng
"ves" couId desLrov LIem. OI, 'd ves LIem, buL wouIdn'L ves LIem! 'd
ves LIem LIII LIev puked und roIIed In IL. AII LIev wunLed oI me wus one
beIcI oI uIIIrmuLIon und 'd beIIow IL ouL Ioud. YesI Yes! YES! TIuL wus
uII unvone wunLed oI us, LIuL we sIouId be Ieurd und noL seen, und
LIen Ieurd onIv In one bIg opLImIsLIc cIorus oI vussuI, vussuI, vussuI!
AII rIgIL, 'd veu, veu und ouI, ouI und sI, sI und see, see LIem Loo; und
'd wuIk uround In LIeIr guLs wILI IobnuIIed booLs. Even LIose super-
bIg sIoLs wIom 'd never seen uL commILLee meeLIngs. TIev wunLed u
mucIIne? Verv weII, 'd become u supersensILIve conIIrmer oI LIeIr
mIsconcepLIons, und jusL Lo IoId LIeIr conIIdence 'd Lrv Lo be rIgIL purL
oI LIe LIme. OI, 'd serve LIem weII und 'd muke InvIsIbIIILv IeIL II noL
seen, und LIev'd Ieurn LIuL IL couId be us poIIuLIng us u decuvIng bodv,
or u pIece oI bud meuL In u sLew. And II goL IurL? Verv weII uguIn.
BesIdes, dIdn'L LIev beIIeve In sucrIIIce? TIev were LIe subLIe LIInkers
-wouId LIIs be LreucIerv? DId LIe word uppIv Lo un InvIsIbIe mun?
CouId LIev recognIze cIoIce In LIuL wIIcI wusn'L seen . . . ?
TIe more LIougIL oI IL LIe more IeII InLo u kInd oI morbId
IuscInuLIon wILI LIe possIbIIILv. WIv Iudn'L dIscovered IL sooner?
How dIIIerenL mv IIIe mIgIL Iuve been! How LerrIbIv dIIIerenL! WIv
Iudn'L seen LIe possIbIIILIes? I u sIurecropper couId uLLend coIIege bv
workIng durIng LIe summers us u wuILer und IucLorv Iund or us u
musIcIun und LIen gruduuLe Lo become u docLor, wIv couIdn'L uII LIose
LIIngs be done uL one und LIe sume LIme? And wusn'L LIuL oId sIuve u
scIenLIsL-or uL IeusL cuIIed one, recognIzed us one-even wIen Ie sLood
wILI IuL In Iund, bowIng und scrupIng In senIIe und obscene servIIILv?
Mv God, wIuL possIbIIILIes exIsLed! And LIuL spIruI busIness, LIuL
progress goo! WIo knew uII LIe secreLs; Iudn'L cIunged mv nume und
never been cIuIIenged even once? And LIuL IIe LIuL success wus u rIsIng
upwurd. WIuL u crummv IIe LIev kepL us domInuLed bv. NoL onIv couId
vou LruveI upwurd Lowurd success buL vou couId LruveI downwurd us
weII; up und down, In reLreuL us weII us In udvunce, crubwuvs und
crosswuvs und uround In u cIrcIe, meeLIng vour oId seIves comIng und
goIng und perIups uII uL LIe sume LIme. How couId Iuve mIssed IL Ior
so Iong? Hudn'L grown up uround gumbIer-poIILIcIuns, booLIegger-
judges und sIerIIIs wIo were burgIurs; ves, und KIunsmen wIo were
preucIers und members oI IumunILurIun socIeLIes? HeII, und Iudn'L
BIedsoe LrIed Lo LeII me wIuL IL wus uII ubouL? IeIL more deud LIun
uIIve. L Iud been quILe u duv; one LIuL couId noL Iuve been more
sIuLLerIng even II Iud Ieurned LIuL LIe mun wIom 'd uIwuvs cuIIed
IuLIer wus ucLuuIIv oI no reIuLIon Lo me.
wenL Lo LIe upurLmenL und IeII ucross LIe bed In mv cIoLIes. L
wus IoL und LIe Iun dId IILLIe more LIun sLIr LIe IeuL In Ieuvv Ieuden
wuves, beneuLI wIIcI Iuv LwIrIIng LIe durk gIusses und wuLcIIng LIe
IvpnoLIc IIIckerIng oI LIe Ienses us LrIed Lo muke pIuns. wouId IIde
mv unger und IuII LIem Lo sIeep; ussure LIem LIuL LIe communILv wus
In IuII ugreemenL wILI LIeIr progrum. And us prooI wouId IuIsIIv LIe
uLLendunce records bv IIIIIng ouL membersIIp curds wILI IIcLILIous
numes-uII unempIoved, oI course, so us Lo uvoId unv quesLIon oI dues.
Yes, und wouId move ubouL LIe communILv bv nIgIL und durIng LImes
oI dunger bv weurIng LIe wIILe IuL und LIe durk gIusses. L wus u dreurv
prospecL buL u meuns oI desLrovIng LIem, uL IeusL In HurIem. suw no
possIbIIILv oI orgunIzIng u spIInLer movemenL, Ior wIuL wouId be LIe
nexL sLep? WIere wouId we go? TIere were no uIIIes wILI wIom we
couId joIn us equuIs; nor were LIere LIme or LIeorIsLs uvuIIubIe Lo work
ouL un over-uII progrum oI our own-uILIougI IeIL LIuL somewIere
beLween RIneIurL und InvIsIbIIILv LIere were greuL poLenLIuIILIes. BuL
we Iud no monev, no InLeIIIgence uppuruLus, eILIer In governmenL,
busIness or Iubor unIons; und no communIcuLIons wILI our own peopIe
excepL LIrougI unsvmpuLIeLIc newspupers, u Iew PuIImun porLers wIo
brougIL provIncIuI news Irom dIsLunL cILIes und u group oI domesLIcs
wIo reporLed LIe IuIrIv unInLeresLIng prIvuLe IIves oI LIeIr empIovers. I
onIv we Iud some Lrue IrIends, some wIo suw us us more LIun
convenIenL LooIs Ior sIupIng LIeIr own desIres! BuL Lo IeII wILI LIuL,
LIougIL, wouId remuIn und become u weII-dIscIpIIned opLImIsL, und
IeIp LIem Lo go merrIIv Lo IeII. I couIdn'L IeIp LIem Lo see LIe reuIILv
oI our IIves wouId IeIp LIem Lo Ignore IL unLII IL expIoded In LIeIr
Iuces.
OnIv one LIIng boLIered me: SInce now knew LIuL LIeIr reuI
objecLIves were never reveuIed uL commILLee meeLIngs needed some
cIunneI oI InLeIIIgence LIrougI wIIcI couId Ieurn wIuL ucLuuIIv
guIded LIeIr operuLIons. BuL Iow? I onIv Iud resIsLed beIng sIIILed
downLown wouId now Iuve enougI supporL In LIe communILv Lo
InsIsL LIuL LIev reveuI LIemseIves. Yes, buL II Iudn'L been sIIILed,
wouId sLIII be IIvIng In u worId oI IIIusIon. BuL now LIuL Iud Iound LIe
LIreud oI reuIILv, Iow couId IoId on? TIev seemed Lo Iuve me
bIocked uL everv Lurn, IorcIng me Lo IIgIL LIem In LIe durk. InuIIv
Lossed LIe gIusses ucross LIe bed und dropped InLo u IILIuI nup durIng
wIIcI reIIved LIe evenLs oI LIe IusL Iew duvs; excepL LIuL InsLeud oL
CIIILon beIng IosL IL wus mvseII, und uwoke sLuIe, sweuLv und uwure oI
perIume.
Iuv on mv sLomucI, mv Ieud resLIng upon LIe buck oI mv Iund
LIInkIng, wIere Is IL comIng Irom? And jusL us cuugIL sIgIL oL LIe
gIusses remembered gruspIng RIneIurL's gIrI's Iund. Iuv LIere
unmovIng, und sIe seemed Lo percI on LIe bed, u brIgIL-eved bIrd wILI
Ier gIossv Ieud und rIpe breusLs, und wus In u wood uIruId Lo IrIgILen
LIe bIrd uwuv. TIen wus IuIIv uwuke und LIe bIrd gone und LIe gIrI's
Imuge In mv mInd. WIuL wouId Iuve Iuppened II Iud Ied Ier on, Iow
Iur couId Iuve gone? A desIrubIe gIrI IIke LIuL mIxed up wILI RIneIurL.
And now suL breuLIIess, uskIng mvseII Iow RIneIurL wouId Iuve
soIved LIe probIem oI InIormuLIon und IL cume InsLunLIv cIeur: L cuIIed
Ior u womun. A wIIe, u gIrI IrIend, or secreLurv oI one oL LIe Ieuders,
wIo wouId be wIIIIng Lo LuIk IreeIv Lo me. Mv mInd swepL buck Lo eurIv
experIences In LIe movemenL. ILLIe IncIdenLs sprung Lo memorv,
brIngIng Imuges oI LIe smIIes und gesLures oI cerLuIn women meL uILer
ruIIIes und uL purLIes: DuncIng wILI Emmu uL LIe CILIonIun; sIe cIose,
soIL uguInsL me und LIe IoL swIIL IocusIng oI mv desIre und mv
emburrussmenL us cuugIL sIgIL oI Juck IoIdIng IorLI In u corner, und
Emmu IoIdIng me LIgIL, Ier bound breusLs pressIng uguInsL me,
IookIng wILI LIuL LeusIng IIgIL In Ier eves suvIng, "AI, LempLuLIon," und
mv desperuLe grub Ior u sopIIsLIcuLed repIv und munugIng onIv, "OI,
buL LIere's uIwuvs LempLuLIon," surprIsIng mvseII neverLIeIess und
IeurIng Ier IuugIIng, "ToucIe! ToucIe! You sIouId come up und Ience
wILI me some uILernoon." TIuL Iud been durIng LIe eurIv duvs wIen
Iud IeIL sLrong resLrIcLIons und resenLed Emmu's boIdness und Ier
opInIon LIuL sIouId Iuve been bIucker Lo pIuv mv roIe oI HurIem
Ieuder. WeII, LIere were no resLrIcLIons IeIL, LIe commILLee Iud seen Lo
LIuL. SIe wus IuIr gume und perIups sIe'd IInd me bIuck enougI, uILer
uII. A commILLee meeLIng wus seL Ior Lomorrow, und sInce IL wus Juck's
bIrLIduv, u purLv uL LIe CILIonIun wouId IoIIow. TIus wouId IuuncI
mv Lwo-pronged uLLuck under LIe mosL IuvorubIe cIrcumsLunce. TIev
were IorcIng me Lo RIneIurL meLIods, so brIng on LIe scIenLIsLs!
CIupLer zq
sLurLed vessIng LIem LIe nexL duv und IL begun beuuLIIuIIv. TIe
communILv wus sLIII goIng upurL uL LIe seums. Crowds Iormed uL LIe
sIIgILesL IncIdenLs. SLore wIndows were smusIed und severuI cIusIes
erupLed durIng LIe mornIng beLween bus drIvers und LIeIr pussengers.
TIe pupers IIsLed sImIIur IncIdenLs LIuL Iud expIoded durIng LIe nIgIL.
TIe mIrrored Iucude oI one sLore on 1z=LI SLreeL wus smusIed und
pussed Lo see u group oI bovs wuLcIIng LIeIr dIsLorLed Imuges us LIev
dunced beIore LIe jugged gIuss. A group oI uduILs Iooked on, reIusIng Lo
move uL LIe poIIcemen's commund, und muLLerIng ubouL CIIILon.
dIdn'L IIke LIe Iook oI LIIngs, Ior uII mv wIsI Lo see LIe commILLee
conIounded.
WIen reucIed LIe oIIIce, members were LIere wILI reporLs oI
cIusIes In oLIer purLs oI LIe dIsLrIcL. dIdn'L IIke IL uL uII; LIe vIoIence
wus poInLIess und, IeIped uIong bv Rus, wus ucLuuIIv beIng dIrecLed
uguInsL LIe communILv ILseII. YeL In spILe oI mv sense oI vIoIuLed
responsIbIIILv wus pIeused bv LIe deveIopmenLs und wenL uIeud wILI
mv pIun. senL ouL members Lo mIngIe wILI crowds und Lrv Lo
dIscouruge unv IurLIer vIoIence und senL un open IeLLer Lo uII LIe press
denouncIng LIem Ior "dIsLorLIng" und InIIuLIng mInor IncIdenLs.
uLe LIuL uILernoon uL IeudquurLers reporLed LIuL LIIngs were
quIeLIng down und LIuL we were geLLIng u Iurge purL oI LIe communILv
InLeresLed In u cIeun-up cumpuIgn, wIIcI wouId cIeur uII buckvurds,
ureuwuvs, und vucunL IoLs oI gurbuge und LrusI und Luke HurIem's mInd
oII CIIILon. L wus sucI u bureIuce muneuver LIuL uImosL IosL LIe
conIIdence oI mv InvIsIbIIILv even us sLood beIore LIem. BuL LIev
Ioved IL, und wIen Iunded In mv Iuke IIsL oI new members LIev
responded wILI enLIusIusm. TIev were vIndIcuLed; LIe progrum wus
correcL, evenLs were progressIng In LIeIr predeLermIned dIrecLIon,
IIsLorv wus on LIeIr sIde, und HurIem Ioved LIem. suL LIere smIIIng
InwurdIv us IIsLened Lo LIe remurks LIuL IoIIowed. couId see LIe roIe
wIIcI wus Lo pIuv us pIuInIv us suw Juck's red IuIr. ncIdenLs oI mv
pusL, boLI recognIzed und Ignored, sprung LogeLIer In mv mInd In un
IronIc Ieup oI conscIousness LIuL wus IIke IookIng uround u corner.
wus Lo be u jusLIIIer, mv Lusk wouId be Lo denv LIe unpredIcLubIe
Iumun eIemenL oI uII HurIem so LIuL LIev couId Ignore IL wIen IL In unv
wuv InLerIered wILI LIeIr pIuns. wus Lo keep ever beIore LIem LIe
pIcLure oI u brIgIL, pussIve, good-Iumored, recepLIve muss ever wIIIIng
Lo uccepL LIeIr everv scIeme. WIen sILuuLIons urose In wIIcI oLIers
wouId respond wILI rIgILeous unger wouId suv LIuL we were cuIm und
unruIIIed (II IL suILed LIem Lo Iuve us ungrv, LIen IL wus sImpIe enougI
Lo creuLe unger Ior us bv sLuLIng IL In LIeIr propugundu; LIe IucLs were
unImporLunL, unreuI); und II oLIer peopIe were conIused bv LIeIr
muneuverIng wus Lo reussure LIem LIuL we pIerced Lo LIe LruLI wILI
x-ruv InsIgIL. I oLIer groups were InLeresLed In becomIng weuILIv,
wus Lo ussure LIe BroLIers und LIe doubLIng members oI oLIer
dIsLrIcLs, LIuL we rejecLed weuILI us corrupL und InLrInsIcuIIv degrudIng;
II oLIer mInorILIes Ioved LIe counLrv despILe LIeIr grIevunces, wouId
ussure LIe commILLee LIuL we, Immune Lo sucI ubsurdIv Iumun und
mIxed reucLIons, IuLed IL ubsoIuLeIv; und, greuLesL conLrudIcLIon oI uII,
wIen LIev denounced LIe AmerIcun scene us corrupL und degeneruLe,
wus Lo suv LIuL we, LIougI snurIed InexLrIcubIv wILIIn ILs veIns und
sInews, were mIrucuIousIv IeuILIv. YessuI, vessuI! TIougI InvIsIbIe
wouId be LIeIr ussurIng voIce oI denIuI; 'd ouL-TobILL TobILL, und us Ior
LIuL ouLIouse WresLrum-weII. As suL LIere one oI LIem wus InIIuLIng
mv Iuked membersIIps InLo meunIngs oI nuLIonuI sIgnIIIcunce. An
IIIusIon wus creuLIng u counLer-IIIusIon. WIere wouId IL end? DId LIev
beIIeve LIeIr own propugundu?
AILerwurds uL LIe CILIonIun IL wus IIke oId LImes. Juck's bIrLIduv
wus un occusIon Ior cIumpugne und LIe IoL, dog-duv evenIng wus even
more voIuLIIe LIun usuuI. IeIL IIgIIv conIIdenL, buL Iere mv pIun wenL
sIIgILIv wrong. Emmu wus quILe guv und responsIve, buL someLIIng
ubouL Ier Iurd, Iundsome Iuce wurned me Lo Iuv oII. sensed LIuL
wIIIe sIe mIgIL wIIIIngIv surrender IerseII (In order Lo suLIsIv IerseII)
sIe wus Iur Loo sopIIsLIcuLed und skIIIed In InLrIgue Lo compromIse Ier
posILIon us Juck's mIsLress bv reveuIIng unvLIIng ImporLunL Lo me. So
us dunced und spurred wILI Emmu Iooked over LIe purLv Ior u
second cIoIce.
We were LIrown LogeLIer uL LIe bur. Her nume wus SvbII und sIe
wus one oI LIose wIo ussumed LIuL mv IecLures on LIe womun quesLIon
were bused upon u more InLImuLe knowIedge LIun LIe mereIv poIILIcuI
und Iud IndIcuLed severuI LImes u wIIIIngness Lo know me beLLer. Iud
uIwuvs preLended noL Lo undersLund, Ior noL onIv Iud mv IIrsL sucI
experIence LuugIL me Lo uvoId sucI sILuuLIons, buL uL LIe CILIonIun sIe
wus usuuIIv sIIgILIv LIpsv und wIsLIuI-jusL LIe Lvpe oI mIsundersLood
murrIed womun wIom, even II Iud been InLeresLed, wouId Iuve
uvoIded IIke LIe pIugue. BuL now Ier unIuppIness und LIe IucL LIuL sIe
wus one oI LIe bIg sIoL's wIves mude Ier u perIecL cIoIce. SIe wus verv
IoneIv und IL wenL verv smooLIIv. n LIe noIsv bIrLIduv purLv-wIIcI
wus Lo be IoIIowed bv u pubIIc ceIebruLIon LIe nexL evenIng-we weren'L
noLIced, und wIen sIe IeIL IuIrIv eurIv In LIe evenIng suw Ier Iome.
SIe IeIL negIecLed und Ie wus uIwuvs busv, und wIen IeIL Ier Iud
urrunged u rendezvous uL mv upurLmenL Ior LIe IoIIowIng evenIng.
George, LIe Iusbund, wouId be uL LIe bIrLIduv ceIebruLIon und sIe
wouIdn'L be mIssed.
T WAS u IoL drv AugusL nIgIL. IgILnIng IIusIed ucross LIe
eusLern skv und u breuLIIess LensIon wus In LIe IumId uIr. Iud spenL
LIe uILernoon prepurIng, IeuvIng LIe oIIIce on u preLense oI IIIness Lo
uvoId IuvIng Lo uLLend LIe ceIebruLIon. Iud neILIer ILcI nor eLcIIngs,
buL LIere wus u vuse oI CIInese IIIIes In LIe IIvIng room, und unoLIer oI
AmerIcun BeuuLv roses on LIe LubIe neur LIe bed; und Iud puL In u
suppIv oI wIne, wIIskev und IIqueur, exLru Ice cubes, und ussorLmenLs
oI IruIL, cIeese, nuLs, cundv und oLIer deIIcucIes Irom LIe Vendome. n
sIorL, LrIed Lo munuge LIIngs us ImugIned RIneIurL wouId Iuve
done.
BuL bungIed IL Irom LIe begInnIng. mude LIe drInks Loo sLrong
-wIIcI sIe IIked Loo weII; und brougIL up poIILIcs-wIIcI sIe uII buL
IuLed-Loo eurIv In LIe evenIng. or uII Ier exposure Lo IdeoIogv sIe
Iud no InLeresL In poIILIcs und no Ideu oI LIe scIemes LIuL occupIed Ier
Iusbund nIgIL und duv. SIe wus more InLeresLed In LIe drInks, In
wIIcI Iud Lo joIn Ier gIuss Ior gIuss, und In IILLIe drumus wIIcI sIe
Iud dreumed up uround LIe IIgures oI Joe ouIs und PuuI Robeson.
And, uILIougI Iud neILIer LIe sLuLure nor LIe LemperumenL Ior eILIer
roIe, wus expecLed eILIer Lo sIng "OId Mun RIver" und jusL keep
roIIIng uIong, or Lo do Iuncv LrIcks wILI mv muscIes. wus conIounded
und umused und IL becume quILe u conLesL, wILI me LrvIng Lo keep LIe
Lwo oI us In LoucI wILI reuIILv und wILI Ier cusLIng me In IunLusIes In
wIIcI wus BroLIer Tuboo-wILI-wIom-uII-LIIngs-ure-possIbIe.
Now IL wus IuLe und us cume InLo LIe room wILI unoLIer round oI
drInks sIe Iud IeL down Ier IuIr und wus beckonIng Lo me wILI u goId
IuIrpIn In Ier LeeLI, suvIng, "Come Lo mummu, beuuLIIuI," Irom wIere
sIe suL on LIe bed.
"Your drInk, mudume," suId, IundIng Ier u gIuss und IopIng LIe
IresI drInk wouId dIscouruge unv new Ideus.
"Come on, deur," sIe suId covIv. " wunL Lo usk vou someLIIng."
"WIuL Is IL?" suId.
" Iuve Lo wIIsper IL, beuuLIIuI."
suL und Ier IIps cume cIose Lo mv eur. And suddenIv sIe Iud
druIned LIe sLurcI ouL oI me. puIIed uwuv. TIere wus someLIIng
uImosL prIm ubouL LIe wuv sIe suL LIere, und veL sIe Iud jusL mude u
modesL proposuI LIuL joIn Ier In u verv revoILIng rILuuI.
"WIuL wus LIuL!" suId, und sIe repeuLed IL. Hud IIIe suddenIv
become u cruzv TIurber curLoon?
"PIeuse, vou'II do LIuL Ior me, won'L vou, beuuLIIuI?"
"You reuIIv meun IL?"
"Yes," sIe suId, "ves!"
TIere wus u prIsLIne IncorrupLIbIIILv ubouL Ier Iuce now LIuL upseL
me uII LIe more, Ior sIe wus neILIer kIddIng nor LrvIng Lo InsuIL me;
und couId noL LeII II IL were Iorror speukIng Lo me onL oI Innocence, or
Innocence emergIng unscuLIed Irom LIe obscene scIeme oI LIe
evenIng. onIv knew LIuL LIe wIoIe uIIuIr wus u mIsLuke. SIe Iud no
InIormuLIon und decIded Lo geL Ier ouL oI LIe upurLmenL beIore Iud
Lo deuI deIInILeIv wILI eILIer LIe Iorror or LIe Innocence, wIIIe couId
sLIII deuI wILI IL us u joke. WIuL wouId RIneIurL do ubouL LIIs,
LIougIL, und knowIng, deLermIned noL Lo IeL Ier provoke me Lo
vIoIence.
"BuL, SvbII, vou cun see 'm noL IIke LIuL. You muke me IeeI u
Lender, proLecLIve pussIon-ook, IL's IIke un oven In Iere, wIv don'L we
geL dressed und go Ior u wuIk In CenLruI Purk?"
"BuL need IL," sIe suId, uncrossIng Ier LIIgIs und sILLIng up
eugerIv. "You cun do IL, IL'II be eusv Ior vou, beuuLIIuI. TIreuLen Lo kIII
me II don'L gIve In. You know, LuIk rougI Lo me, beuuLIIuI. A IrIend oI
mIne suId LIe IeIIow suId, 'Drop vour druwers' . . . und -"
"He suId wIuL!" suId.
"He reuIIv dId," sIe suId.
Iooked uL Ier. SIe wus bIusIIng, Ier cIeeks, even Ier IreckIed
bosom, were brIgIL red.
"Go on," suId, us sIe Iuv buck uguIn. "TIen wIuL Iuppened?"
"WeII . . . Ie cuIIed Ier u IIILIv nume," sIe suId, IesILuLIng covIv.
SIe wus u IeuLIerv oId gIrI wILI cIesLnuL IuIr oI IIne nuLuruI wuve
wIIcI wus now Iunned ouL over LIe pIIIow. SIe wus bIusIIng quILe
deepIv. Wus LIIs meunL Lo excILe me, or wus IL un unconscIous
expressIon oI revuIsIon?
"A reuIIv IIILIv nume," sIe suId. "OI, Ie wus u bruLe, Iuge, wILI
wIILe LeeLI, wIuL LIev cuII u 'buck.' And Ie suId, 'BILcI, drop vour
druwers,' und LIen Ie dId IL. SIe's sucI u IoveIv gIrI, Loo, reuIIv deIIcuLe
wILI u compIexIon IIke sLruwberrIes und creum. You cun'L ImugIne
unvone cuIIIng Ier u nume IIke LIuL."
SIe suL up now, Ier eIbows denLIng LIe pIIIow us sIe Iooked InLo
mv Iuce.
"BuL wIuL Iuppened, dId LIev cuLcI IIm?" suId.
"OI, oI course noL, beuuLIIuI, sIe onIv LoId Lwo oI us gIrIs. SIe
couIdn'L uIIord Lo IeL Ier Iusbund Ieur oI IL. He . . . weII, IL's Loo Iong u
sLorv."
"L's LerrIbIe," suId. "Don'L vou LIInk we sIouId go . . . ?"
"sn'L IL, LIougI? SIe wus In u sLuLe Ior monLIs . . ." Ier expressIon
IIIckered, becume IndeLermInuLe.
"WIuL Is IL?" suId, uIruId sIe mIgIL crv.
"OI, wus jusL wonderIng Iow sIe reuIIv IeIL. reuIIv do."
SuddenIv sIe Iooked uL me mvsLerIousIv. "Cun LrusL vou wILI u deep
secreL?"
suL up. "Don'L LeII me LIuL IL wus vou."
SIe smIIed, "OI, no, LIuL wus u deur IrIend oI mIne. BuL do vou
know wIuL, beuuLIIuI," sIe suId IeunIng Iorwurd conIIdenLIuIIv, " LIInk
'm u nvmpIomunIuc."
"You? Noooo!"
"UI IuI. SomeLImes Iuve sucI LIougILs und dreums. never
gIve InLo LIem LIougI, buL reuIIv LIInk um. A womun IIke me Ius Lo
deveIop un Iron dIscIpIIne."
IuugIed InwurdIv. SIe wouId soon be u bIddv, sLouL, wILI u IILLIe
doubIe cIIn und u LIree-pIv gIrdIe. A LIIn goId cIuIn sIowed uround u
LIIckenIng unkIe. And veL wus becomIng uwure oI someLIIng wurmIv,
InIurIuLIngIv IemInIne ubouL Ier. reucIed ouL, sLrokIng Ier Iund.
"WIv do vou Iuve sucI Ideus ubouL vourseII?" suId, seeIng Ier ruIse
up und pIuck uL LIe corner oI LIe pIIIow, druwIng ouL u speckIed IeuLIer
und sLrIppIng LIe down Irom ILs sIuIL.
"RepressIon," sIe suId wILI greuL sopIIsLIcuLIon. "Men Iuve
repressed us Loo mucI. We're expecLed Lo puss up Loo munv Iumun
LIIngs. BuL do vou know unoLIer secreL?"
bowed mv Ieud.
"You don'L mInd mv goIng on, do vou, beuuLIIuI?"
"No, SvbII."
"WeII, ever sInce IIrsL Ieurd ubouL IL, even wIen wus u verv
IILLIe gIrI, 've wunLed IL Lo Iuppen Lo me."
"You meun wIuL Iuppened Lo vour IrIend?"
"UI IuI."
"Good ord, SvbII, dId vou ever LeII LIuL Lo unvone eIse?"
"OI course noL, wouIdn'L've dured. Are vou sIocked?"
"Some. BuL SvbII, wIv do vou LeII me?"
"OI, know LIuL cun LrusL vou. jusL knew vou'd undersLund;
vou're noL IIke oLIer men. We're kInd oI uIIke."
SIe wus smIIIng now und reucIed ouL und pusIed me genLIv, und
LIougIL, Iere IL goes uguIn.
"Ie buck und IeL me Iook uL vou uguInsL LIuL wIILe sIeeL. You're
beuuLIIuI, 've uIwuvs LIougIL so. Ike wurm ebonv uguInsL pure snow-
see wIuL vou do, vou muke me LuIk poeLrv. 'Wurm ebonv uguInsL pure
snow,' Isn'L LIuL poeLIc?"
"'m LIe sensILIve Lvpe, vou musn'L muke Iun oI me."
"BuL reuIIv vou ure, und IeeI so Iree wILI vou. You've no Ideu."
Iooked uL LIe red ImprInL IeIL bv LIe sLrups oI Ier bru, LIInkIng,
WIo's LukIng revenge on wIom? BuL wIv be surprIsed, wIen LIuL's
wIuL LIev Ieur uII LIeIr IIves. WIen IL's mude InLo u greuL power und
LIev're LuugIL Lo worsIIp uII Lvpes oI power? WILI uII LIe wurnIngs
uguInsL IL, some ure bound Lo wunL Lo Lrv IL ouL Ior LIemseIves. TIe
conquerors conquered. Muvbe u greuL number secreLIv wunL IL; muvbe
LIuL's wIv LIev screum wIen IL's IurLIesL Irom possIbIIILv -
"TIuL's IL," sIe suId LIgILIv. "ook uL me IIke LIuL; jusL IIke vou
wunL Lo Leur me upurL. Iove Ior vou Lo Iook uL me IIke LIuL!"
IuugIed und LoucIed Ier cIIn. SIe Iud me on LIe ropes; IeIL
puncI drunk, couIdn'L deIIver und couIdn'L be ungrv eILIer.
LIougIL oI IecLurIng Ier on LIe respecL due one's bedmuLe In our
socIeLv, buL no Ionger deIuded mvseII LIuL eILIer knew LIe socIeLv or
wIere IILLed InLo IL. BesIdes, LIougIL, sIe LIInks vou're un
enLerLuIner. TIuL's someLIIng eIse LIev're LuugIL.
ruIsed mv gIuss und sIe joIned me In u drInk, movIng cIose.
"You wIII, won'L vou, beuuLIIuI?" sIe suId, Ier IIps, ruw-IookIng
now wILIouL mukeup, pouLIng bubvIsIIv. So wIv noL enLerLuIn Ier, be u
genLIemun, or wIuLever IL Is sIe LIInks vou ure-WIuL does sIe LIInk
vou ure? A domesLIcuLed rupIsL, obvIousIv, un experL on LIe womun
quesLIon. Muvbe LIuL's wIuL vou ure, Iouse-broken und wILI u
convenIenL verbuI pusI-buLLon urrungemenL Ior LIe IudIes' pIeusure.
WeII, so Iud seL LIIs Lrup Ior mvseII.
"Tuke LIIs," suId, sIovIng unoLIer gIuss InLo Ier Iund. "L'II be
beLLer uILer vou've Iud u drInk, more reuIIsLIc."
"OI, ves, LIuL'II be wonderIuI." SIe Look u drInk und Iooked up
LIougILIuIIv. " geL so LIred oI IIvIng LIe wuv do, beuuLIIuI. Soon 'II be
oId und noLIIng wIII've Iuppened Lo me. Do vou know wIuL LIuL
meuns? George LuIks u IoL ubouL women's rIgILs, buL wIuL does Ie
know ubouL wIuL u womun needs? HIm wILI IIs IorLv mInuLes oI brug
und Len oI busLIe. OI, vou Iuve no Ideu wIuL vou're doIng Ior me."
"Nor vou Ior me, SvbII deur," suId, IIIIIng LIe gIuss uguIn. AL IusL
mv drInks were begInnIng Lo work.
SIe sIook Ier Iong IuIr ouL over Ier sIouIders und crossed Ier
knees, wuLcIIng me. Her Ieud Iud begun Lo weuve.
"Don'L drInk Loo mucI, beuuLIIuI," sIe suId. "L uIwuvs Lukes LIe
pep ouL oI George."
"Don'L worrv," suId. " rupes reuI good wIen 'm drunk."
SIe Iooked sLurLIed. "OoooI, LIen pour me unoLIer," sIe suId,
gIvIng IerseII u bounce. SIe wus us deIIgILed us u cIIId, IoIdIng ouL Ier
gIuss eugerIv.
"WIuL's IuppenIng Iere," suId, "u new bIrLI oI u nuLIon?"
"WIuL'd vou suv, beuuLIIuI?"
"NoLIIng, u bud joke. orgeL IL."
"TIuL's wIuL IIke ubouL vou, beuuLIIuI. You Iuven'L LoId me u
sIngIe one oI LIose vuIgur jokes. Come on, beuuLIIuI," sIe suId, "pour."
poured Ier unoLIer und unoLIer; In IucL, poured us boLI quILe u
Iew. wus Iur uwuv; IL wusn'L IuppenIng Lo me or Lo Ier und IeIL u
cerLuIn conIused pILv wIIcI dIdn'L wIsI Lo IeeI. TIen sIe Iooked uL
me, Ier eves brIgIL beIInd nurrowed IIds und ruIsed up und sLruck me
wIere IL IurL.
"Come on, beuL me, duddv-vou-vou bIg bIuck bruIser. WIuL's
LukIng vou so Iong?" sIe suId. "Hurrv up, knock me down! Don'L vou
wunL me?"
wus unnoved enougI Lo sIup Ier. SIe Iuv uggressIveIv recepLIve,
IIusIed, Ier nuveI no gobIeL buL u pIL In un eurLI-quukIng Iund, IIexIng
LuuL und expunsIve. TIen sIe suId, "Come on, come on!" und suId,
"Sure, sure," IookIng uround wIIdIv und sLurLIng Lo pour LIe drInk upon
Ier und wus sLopped, mv emoLIons Iocked, us suw Ier IIpsLIck IvIng on
LIe LubIe und grubbed IL, suvIng, "Yes, ves," us benL Lo wrILe IurIousIv
ucross Ier beIIv In drunken InspIruLIon:
SYB, YOU WERE RAPED
BY
SANTA CAUS
SURPRSE
und puused LIere, LrembIIng ubove Ier, mv knees on LIe bed us sIe
wuILed wILI unsLeudv expecLuncv. L wus u purpIIsI meLuIIIc sIude oI
IIpsLIck und us sIe punLed wILI unLIcIpuLIon LIe IeLLers sLreLcIed und
quIvered, up IIII und down duIe, und sIe wus IIL up IIke u IumInescenL
sIgn.
"Hurrv, boo'IuI, Iurrv," sIe suId.
Iooked uL Ier, LIInkIng, JusL wuIL unLII George sees LIuL-II
George ever geLs uround Lo seeIng LIuL. He'II reud u IecLure on un uspecL
oI LIe womun quesLIon Ie's never LIougIL ubouL. SIe Iuv unonvmous
beneuLI mv eves unLII suw Ier Iuce, sIuped bv Ier emoLIon wIIcI
couId noL IuIIIII, und LIougIL, Poor SvbII, sIe pIcked u bov Ior u mun's
job und noLIIng wus us IL wus supposed Lo be. Even LIe bIuck bruIser
IeII down on LIe job. SIe'd IosL conLroI oI Ier IIquor now und suddenIv
benL und kIssed Ier upon LIe IIps.
"SIII, be quIeL," suId, "LIuL's no wuv Lo ucL wIen vou're beIng -"
und sIe ruIsed Ier IIps Ior more und kIssed Ier uguIn und cuImed Ier
und sIe dozed oII und decIded uguIn Lo end LIe Iurce. SucI gumes
were Ior RIneIurL, noL me. sLumbIed ouL und goL u dump LoweI und
begun rubbIng ouL LIe evIdence oI mv crIme. L wus us LenucIous us sIn
und IL Look some LIme. WuLer wouIdn'L do IL, wIIskev wouId Iuve
smeIIed und IInuIIv Iud Lo IInd benzIne. orLunuLeIv sIe dIdn'L urouse
unLII wus uImosL IInIsIed.
"D'vou do IL, boo'IuI?" sIe suId.
"Yes, oI course," suId. "sn'L LIuL wIuL vou wunLed?"
"Yes, buL don'L seem L'remember . . ."
Iooked uL Ier und wunLed Lo IuugI. SIe wus LrvIng Lo see me buL
Ier eves wouIdn'L Iocus um uer Ieud kepL swIngIng Lo one sIde, veL sIe
wus mukIng u reuI eIIorL, und suddenIv IeIL IIgILIeurLed.
"Bv LIe wuv," suId, LrvIng Lo do someLIIng wILI Ier IuIr, "wIuL's
vour nume, Iudv?"
"L's SvbII," sIe suId IndIgnunLIv, uImosL LeurIuIIv. "Boo'IuI, vou
know 'm SvbII."
"NoL wIen grubbed vou, dIdn'L."
Her eves wIdened und u smIIe wobbIed ucross Ier Iuce.
"TIuL's rIgIL, vou couIdn'L, couId vou? You never suw me beIore."
SIe wus deIIgILed, couId uImosL see LIe Ideu Luke Iorm In Ier mInd.
"TIuL's rIgIL," suId. " Ieuped sLruIgIL ouL oI LIe wuII.
overpowered vou In LIe empLv Iobbv-remember? smoLIered vour
LerrIIIed screums."
" 'N' dId puL up u good IIgIL?"
"Ike u IIoness deIendIng Ier voung . . ."
"BuL vou were sucI u sLrong bIg bruLe vou mude me gIve In.
dIdn'L wunL Lo, dId now, boo'IuI? You Iorced me 'guInsL m' wIII."
"Sure," suId, pIckIng up some sIIken pIece oI cIoLIIng. "You
brougIL ouL LIe beusL In me. overpowered vou. BuL wIuL couId do?"
SIe sLudIed LIuL u wIIIe und Ior u second Ier Iuce worked uguIn us
LIougI sIe wouId crv. BuL IL wus unoLIer smIIe LIuL bIoomed LIere.
"And wusn'L u good nvmpIomunIuc?" sIe suId, wuLcIIng me
cIoseIv. "ReuIIv und LruIv?"
"You Iuve no Ideu," suId. "George Iud beLLer keep un eve on
vou."
SIe LwIsLed IerseII Irom sIde Lo sIde wILI IrrILuLIon. "OI, nuLs!
TIuL oIe GeorgIe porgIe wouIdn'L know u nvmpIomunIuc II sIe goL
rIgIL InLo bed wILI IIm!"
"You're wonderIuI," suId. "TeII me ubouL George. TeII me ubouL
LIuL greuL musLer mInd oI socIuI cIunge."
SIe sLeudIed Ier guze, IrownIng. "WIo, GeorgIe?" sIe suId,
IookIng uL me ouL oI one bIeurv eve. "GeorgIe's bIInd 'su moIe In u IoIe
'n doesn'L know u LIIng ubouL IL. 'D vou ever Ieur oI sucI u LIIng,
IIILeen veurs! Suv, wIuL're vou IuugIIng uL, boo'IuI?"
"Me," suId, begInnIng Lo rour, "jusL me . . ."
"'ve never seen unvone IuugI IIke vou, boo'IuI. L's wonderIuI!"
wus sIIppIng Ier dress over Ier Ieud now und Ier voIce cume
muIIIed LIrougI LIe sIunLung cIoLI. TIen Iud IL down uround Ier
IIps und Ier IIusIed Iuce wuvered LIrougI LIe coIIur, Ier IuIr down In
dIsorder uguIn.
"Boo'IuI," sIe suId, bIowIng LIe word, "wIII vou do IL uguIn
someLImes?"
sLepped uwuv und Iooked uL Ier. "WIuL?"
"PIeuse, preLLv boo'IuI, pIeuse," sIe suId wILI u wobbIv smIIe.
begun Lo IuugI, "Sure," suId, "sure . . ."
"WIen, boo'IuI, wIen?"
"Anv LIme," suId. "How ubouL everv TIursduv uL nIne?"
"OooooI, boo'IuI," sIe suId, gIvIng me un oId-IusIIoned Iug. "'ve
never seen unvone IIke vou."
"Are vou sure?" suId.
"ReuIIv, Iuven'L, boo'IuI . . . Honor brIgIL . . . beIIeve me?"
"Sure, IL's good Lo be seen, buL we've goL Lo go now," suId seeIng
Ier ubouL Lo sug Lo LIe bed.
SIe pouLed. " need u III nIgILcup, boo'IuI," sIe suId.
"You've Iud enougI," suId.
"AI, boo'IuI, jus' one . . ."
"Okuv, jusL one."
We Iud unoLIer drInk und Iooked uL Ier und IeIL LIe pILv und
seII-dIsgusL reLurnIng und wus depressed.
SIe Iooked uL me gruveIv, Ier Ieud Lo one sIde.
"Boo'IuI," sIe suId, "vou know wIuL III oIe SvbII LIInks? SIe LIInks
vou're LrvIng Lo geL rId oI Ier."
Iooked uL Ier ouL oI u deep empLIness und reIIIIed Ier gIuss und
mIne. WIuL Iud done Lo Ier, uIIowed Ier Lo do? Hud uII oI IL IIILered
down Lo me? Mv ucLIon . . . mv-LIe puInIuI word Iormed us
dIsconnecLedIv us Ier wobbIv smIIe-mv responsIbIIILv? AII oI IL? 'm
InvIsIbIe. "Here," suId, "drInk."
"You Loo, boo'IuI," sIe suId.
"Yes," suId. SIe moved InLo mv urms.
MUST Iuve dozed. TIere cume LIe LInkIIng oI Ice In u gIuss, LIe
sIrIII oI beIIs. IeIL proIoundIv sud, us LIougI wInLer Iud IuIIen durIng
LIe Iour. SIe Iuv, Ier cIesLnuL IuIr IeL down, wuLcIIng LIrougI Ieuvv-
IIdded, bIue, eve-sIudowed eves. rom Iur uwuv u new sound urose.
"Don'L unswer, boo'IuI," sIe suId, Ier voIce comIng LIrougI
suddenIv, ouL oI LIme wILI LIe workIng oI Ier mouLI.
"WIuL?" suId.
"Don'L unswer, IeL'er rIng," sIe suId, reucIIng Ier red-nuIIed
IIngers IorLI.
Look IL Irom Ier Iunds, undersLundIng now.
"Don'L, boo'IuI," sIe suId.
L rung uguIn In mv Iund now und Ior no reuson uL uII LIe words oI
u cIIIdIood pruver spIIIed LIrougI mv mInd IIke swIIL wuLer. TIen:
"HeIIo," suId.
L wus u IrunLIc, unrecognIzubIe voIce Irom LIe dIsLrIcL. "BroLIer,
vou beLLer geL up Iere rIgIL uwuv -" IL suId.
"'m III," suId. "WIuL's wrong?"
"TIere's LroubIe, BroLIer, und vou're LIe onIv one wIo cun -"
"WIuL kInd oI LroubIe?"
"Bud LroubIe, BroLIer; LIev LrvIng Lo -"
TIen LIe IursI sound oI breukIng gIuss, dIsLunL, brILLIe und IIne,
IoIIowed bv u crusI, und LIe IIne wenL deud.
"HeIIo," suId, seeIng SvbII wuverIng beIore me, Ier IIps suvIng,
"Boo'IuI."
LrIed Lo dIuI now, IeurIng LIe busv sIgnuI LIrobbIng buck uL me:
Amen-Amen-Amen AI mun; und suL LIere u wIIIe. Wus IL u LrIck? DId
LIev know sIe wus wILI me? puL IL down. Her eves were IookIng uL me
Irom ouL oI LIeIr bIue sIudow. "Boo -"
And now sLood und puIIed Ier urm. "eL's go, SvbII. TIev need
me upLown"-reuIIzIng onIv LIen LIuL wouId go.
'"No," sIe suId.
s'"BuL ves. Come."
SIe IeII buck upon LIe bed deIvIng me. reIeused Ier urms und
Iooked uround, mv Ieud uncIeur. WIuL kInd oI LroubIe uL LIIs Iour?
WIv sIouId go? SIe wuLcIed me, Ier eves brIgILIv uwusI In bIue
sIudow. Mv IeurL IeIL Iow und deepIv sud.
"Come buck, boo'IuI," sIe suId.
"No, IeL's geL some uIr," suId.
And now, uvoIdIng LIe red, oIIv nuIIs grIpped Ier wrIsLs und
puIIed Ier up, Lowurd LIe door. We LoLLered, Ier IIps brusIIng mIne us
we wuvered LIere. SIe cIung Lo me und, Ior un InsLunL, Lo Ier wILI u
IeeIIng ImmeusurubIv sud. TIen sIe IIccupped und Iooked vucunLIv
buck InLo LIe room. TIe IIgIL cuugIL In LIe umber IIquId oI our gIusses.
"Boo'IuI," sIe suId, "IIIe couId be so dIII'renL -"
"BuL IL never Is," suId.
SIe suId, "Boo'IuI."
TIe Iun wIIrred. And In u corner, mv brIeI cuse, covered wILI
specks oI dusL IIke memorIes-LIe nIgIL oI LIe buLLIe rovuI. IeIL Ier
breuLIIng IoL uguInsL me und pusIed Ier genLIv uwuv, sLeudvIng Ier
uguInsL LIe door Irume, LIen wenL over us ImpuIsIveIv us LIe
remembered pruver, und goL LIe brIeI cuse, brusIIng LIe dusL uguInsL
mv Ieg und IeeIIng LIe unexpecLed weIgIL us Iugged IL beneuLI mv
urm. SomeLIIng cIInked InsIde.
SIe wuLcIed me sLIII, Ier eves uIIgIL us Look Ier urm.
"How're vou doIng, Svb?" suId.
"Don'L go, boo'IuI," sIe suId. "eL GeorgIe do IL. No speecIes
LonIgIL."
"Come on," suId, LukIng Ier urm quILe IIrmIv, puIIIng Ier uIong
us sIe sIgIed, Ier wIsLIuI Iuce Lurned Lowurd me.
We wenL down smooLIIv InLo LIe sLreeL. Mv Ieud wus sLIII budIv
Iuzzed Irom LIe drInk, und wIen Iooked down LIe Iuge empLIness oI
LIe durk IeIL IIke Leurs . . . WIuL wus IuppenIng upLown? WIv sIouId
worrv over bureuucruLs, bIInd men? um InvIsIbIe. sLured down LIe
quIeL sLreeL, IeeIIng Ier sLumbIIng besIde me, IummIng u IILLIe Lune;
someLIIng IresI, nuve und cureIree. SvbII, mv Loo-IuLe-Loo-eurIv Iove . .
. AI! Mv LIrouL LIrobbed. TIe IeuL oI LIe sLreeL cIung cIose. Iooked
Ior u LuxI buL none wus pussIng. SIe Iummed besIde me, Ier perIume
unreuI In LIe nIgIL. We moved InLo LIe nexL bIock und sLIII no LuxIs.
Her IIgI IeeIs unsLeudIIv scruncIed LIe wuIk. sLopped Ier.
"Poor boo'IuI," sIe suId. "Don'L know IIs nume . . ."
Lurned us LIougI sLruck. "WIuL?"
"Anonvmous bruLe 'n boo'IuI buck," sIe suId, Ier mouLI u bIeurv
smIIe.
Iooked uL Ier, skILLerIng ubouL on IIgI IeeIs, scruncI, scruncI
on LIe wuIk.
"SvbII," suId, more Lo mvseII LIun Lo Ier, "wIere wIII IL end?"
SomeLIIng LoId me Lo go.
"AuuuI," sIe IuugIed, "In bed. Don'L go up, boo'IuI, SvbII'II Luck
vou In."
sIook mv Ieud. TIe sLurs were LIere, IIgI, IIgI, revoIvIng. TIen
cIosed mv eves und LIev suIIed red beIInd mv IIds; LIen somewIuL
sLeudIed Look Ier urm.
"ook, SvbII," suId, "sLund Iere u mInuLe wIIIe go over Lo IILI
Ior u LuxI. SLund rIgIL Iere, deur, und IoId on."
We LoLLered beIore un uncIenL-IookIng buIIdIng, ILs wIndows durk.
Huge Greek meduIIIons sIowed In spoLs oI IIgIL upon ILs Iucude, ubove
u durk IubvrInLIIne puLLern In LIe sLone, und propped Ier uguInsL LIe
sLoop wILI ILs curved sLone monsLer. SIe Ieuned LIere, Ier IuIr wIId,
IookIng uL me In LIe sLreeL IIgIL, smIIIng. Her Iuce kepL swIngIng Lo one
sIde, Ier rIgIL eve desperuLeIv cIosed.
"Sure, boo'IuI, sure," sIe suId.
"'II be rIgIL buck," suId, buckIng uwuv.
"Boo'IuI," sIe cuIIed, "Mv boo'IuI."
Heur LIe Lrue uIIecLIon, LIougIL, LIe udoruLIon oI LIe BoogIe
Beur, movIng uwuv. Wus sIe cuIIIng me beuuLIIuI or boogIeIuI, beuuLIIuI
or subIIme . . . WIuL'd eILIer meun? um InvIsIbIe . . .
wenL on LIrougI LIe IuLe sLreeL quIeL, IopIng LIuL u cub wouId
puss beIore Iud gone uII LIe wuv. Up uIeud uL IILI LIe IIgILs were
brIgIL, u Iew curs sIooLIng ucross LIe gupIng mouLI oI LIe sLreeL und
ubove und bevond, LIe Lrees-greuL, durk, LuII. WIuL wus goIng on,
pondered. WIv cuII Ior me so IuLe-und wIo?
IurrIed uIeud, mv IeeL unsLeudv.
"Booo'IuI," sIe cuIIed beIInd me, "boooooo'IuI!"
wuved wILIouL IookIng buck. Never uguIn, no more, no more.
wenL on.
AL IILI u cub pussed und LrIed Lo IuII IL, onIv Lo Ieur someone's
voIce urIse, LIe sound IIouLIng guIIv bv. Iooked up LIe IIgILed uvenue
Ior unoLIer, IeurIng suddenIv LIe screecI oI brukes und LurnIng Lo see
LIe cub sLop und u wIILe urm beckonIng. TIe cub reversed, roIIed cIose,
seLLIIng wILI u bounce. IuugIed. L wus SvbII. sLumbIed Iorwurd,
cume Lo LIe door. SIe smIIed ouL uL me, Ier Ieud, Irumed In LIe
wIndow, sLIII puIIIng Lo one sIde, Ier IuIr wuvIng down.
"GeL In, boo'IuI, 'n Luke me Lo HurIem . . ."
sIook mv Ieud, IeeIIng IL Ieuvv und sud. "No," suId, "'ve goL
work Lo do, SvbII. You'd beLLer go Iome . . ."
"No, boo'IuI, Luke me wILI vou."
Lurned Lo LIe drIver, mv Iund upon LIe door. He wus smuII,
durk-IuIred und dIsupprovIng, u gIInL oI red Irom LIe LruIIIc IIgIL
coIorIng LIe LIp oI IIs nose.
"ook," suId, "Luke Ier Iome."
guve IIm LIe uddress und mv IusL IIve-doIIur bIII. He Look IL,
gIumIv dIsupprovIng.
"No, boo'IuI," sIe suId, " wunL Lo go Lo HurIem, be wILI vou!"
"Good nIgIL," suId, sLeppIng buck Irom LIe curb.
We were In LIe mIddIe oI LIe bIock und suw LIem puII uwuv.
"No," sIe suId, "no, boo'IuI. Don'L Ieuve . . ." Her Iuce, wIId-eved
und wIILe, sIowed In LIe door. sLood LIere, wuLcIIng IIm pIunge
swIILIv und conLempLuousIv ouL oI sIgIL, IIs LuII IIgIL us red us IIs nose.
wuIked wILI eves cIosed, seemIng Lo IIouL und LrvIng Lo cIeur mv
Ieud, LIen opened LIem und crossed Lo LIe purk sIde, uIong LIe
cobbIes. HIgI ubove, LIe curs suIIed round und round LIe drIve, LIeIr
IeudIIgILs sLubbIng. AII LIe LuxIes were IIred, uII goIng downLown.
CenLer oI gruvILv. pIodded on, mv Ieud uwIIrI.
TIen neur 11oLI SLreeL suw Ier uguIn. SIe wus wuILIng beneuLI u
sLreeL Iump, wuvIng. wusn'L surprIsed; Iud become IuLuIIsLIc. cume
up sIowIv, IeurIng Ier IuugI. SIe wus uIeud oI me und begInnIng Lo
run, bureIooL, IooseIv, us In u dreum. RunnIng. UnsLeudIIv buL swIIL und
me surprIsed und unubIe Lo cuLcI up, Ieud-Iegged, seeIng Ier uIeud und
cuIIIng, "SvbII, SvbII!" runnIng Ieud-Iegged uIong LIe purk sIde.
"Come on, boo'IuI," sIe cuIIed, IookIng buck und sLumbIIng.
"CuLcI SvbII . . . SvbII," runnIng bureIooL und gIrdIeIess uIong LIe purk.
run, LIe brIeI cuse Ieuvv beneuLI mv urm. SomeLIIng LoId me
Iud Lo geL Lo LIe oIIIce . . . "SvbII, wuIL!" cuIIed.
SIe run, LIe coIors oI Ier dress IIurIng IIumeIIke In LIe brIgIL
pIuces oI LIe durk. A rusLIIng moLIon, Iegs workIng uwkwurdIv beneuLI
Ier und wIILe IeeIs IIusIIng, Ier skIrLs IeId IIgI. eL Ier go, LIougIL.
BuL now sIe wus crossIng LIe sLreeL und runnIng wIIdIv onIv Lo go down
uL LIe curb und sLundIng und goIng down uguIn, wILI u bumped
bucksIde, compIeLeIv unsLeudv, now LIuL Ier momenLum wus gone.
"Boo'IuI," sIe suId us cume up. "Dumn, boo'IuI, vou pusI me?"
"GeL up," suId wILIouL unger. "GeL up," LukIng Ier soIL urm. SIe
sLood, Ier urms IIung wIde Ior un embruce.
"No," suId, "LIIs Isn'L TIursduv. 've goL Lo geL LIere . . . WIuL do
LIev pIun Ior me, SvbII?"
"WIo, boo'IuI?"
"Juck und George . . . TobILL und uII?"
"You run me down, boo'IuI," sIe suId. "orgeL LIem . . . buncI oI
deud-Ieuds . . . unIIpped, v'know. We dIdn'L muke LIIs sLInkIng worId,
boo'IuI. orgeL -"
suw LIe LuxI jusL In LIme, upproucIIng swIILIv Irom LIe corner, u
doubIe-decker bus IoomIng Lwo bIocks beIInd. TIe cubbIe Iooked over,
IIs Ieud ouL oI LIe wIndow, sILLIng IIgI uL LIe wIeeI us Ie mude u swIIL
U-Lurn und cume uIongsIde. HIs Iuce wus sIocked, dIsbeIIevIng.
"Come now, SvbII," suId, "und no LrIcks."
"Purdon me, oId mun," LIe drIver suId, IIs voIce concerned, "buL
vou're noL LukIng Ier up In HurIem ure vou?"
"No, LIe Iudv's goIng downLown," suId. "GeL In SvbII."
"Boo'IuI's 'n oIe dIcLuLor," sIe suId Lo LIe drIver, wIo Iooked uL me
sIIenLIv, us LIougI were mud.
"A gume sLud," Ie muLLered, "u mosL gume sLud!"
BuL sIe goL In.
"JusL 'n oIe dIcLuLor, boo'IuI."
"ook," LoId IIm, "Luke Ier sLruIgIL Iome und don'L IeL Ier geL
ouL oI LIe cub. don'L wunL Ier runnIng uround HurIem. SIe's precIous,
u greuL Iudv -"
"Sure, mun, don'L bIume vou," Ie suId. "TIIngs Is poppIng up
LIere."
TIe cub wus uIreudv roIIIng us veIIed, "WIuL's goIng on?"
"TIev're LukIng LIe joInL upurL," Ie cuIIed ubove LIe sIIILIng oI LIe
geurs. wuLcIed LIem go und mude Ior LIe bus sLop. TIIs LIme 'II muke
sure, LIougIL, sLeppIng ouL und IIuggIng LIe bus und geLLIng on. I sIe
comes buck, sIe'II IInd me gone. And knew sLronger LIun ever LIuL
sIouId Iurrv buL wus sLIII Loo Ioggv In mv mInd, couIdn'L geL mvseII
LogeLIer.
suL grIppIng mv brIeI cuse, mv eves cIosed, IeeIIng LIe bus suIIIng
swIIL beneuLI me. Soon IL wouId Lurn up SevenLI Avenue. SvbII, IorgIve
me, LIougIL. TIe bus roIIed.
BuL wIen opened mv eves we were LurnIng InLo RIversIde DrIve.
TIIs Loo uccepLed cuImIv, LIe wIoIe nIgIL wus ouL oI joInL. 'd Iud Loo
munv drInks. TIme run IIuId, InvIsIbIe, sud. ookIng ouL couId see u
sIIp movIng upsLreum, ILs runnIng IIgILs brIgIL poInLs In LIe nIgIL. TIe
cooI seu smeII cume LIrougI Lo me, consLunL und LIIck In LIe swIILIv
unIoIdIng bIur oI uncIored bouLs, durk wuLer und IIgILs pourIng pusL.
Across LIe rIver wus Jersev und remembered mv enLrv InLo HurIem.
ong pusL, LIougIL, Iong pusL. wus us II drowned In LIe rIver.
To mv rIgIL und uIeud LIe cIurcI spIre Lowered IIgI, crowned
wILI u red IIgIL oI wurnIng. And now we were pussIng LIe Iero's Lomb
und recuIIed u vIsIL LIere. You wenL up LIe sLeps und InsIde und vou
Iooked Iur beIow Lo IInd IIm, uL resL, druped IIugs . . .
One Hundred und TwenLv-IIILI SLreeL cume quIckIv. sLumbIed
oII, IeurIng LIe bus puII uwuv us Iuced LIe wuLer. TIere wus u IIgIL
breeze, buL now wILI LIe moLIon gone LIe IeuL reLurned, cIIngIng. ur
uIeud In LIe durk suw LIe monumenLuI brIdge, ropes oI IIgILs ucross
LIe durk rIver; und cIoser, IIgI ubove LIe sIoreIIne, LIe PuIIsudes, LIeIr
revoIuLIonurv ugonv IosL In LIe rIoLous IIgILs oI roIIer cousLers. "TIe
TIme s Now . . ." LIe sIgn ucross LIe rIver begun, buL wILI IIsLorv
sLompIng upon me wILI IobnuIIed booLs, LIougIL wILI u IuugI, wIv
worrv ubouL LIme? crossed LIe sLreeL Lo LIe drInkIng IounLuIn, IeeIIng
LIe wuLer cooIIng, goIng down, LIen dumpened u IundkercIIeI und
swubbed mv Iuce, eves. TIe wuLer IIusIed, gurgIed, spruved. pressed
Iorwurd mv Iuce, IeeIIng weL cooI, IeurIng LIe InIunL jov oI IounLuIns.
TIen Ieurd LIe oLIer sound. L wus noL LIe rIver nor LIe curvIng curs
LIuL IIusIed LIrougI LIe durk, buL pILcIed IIke u dIsLunL crowd or u
swIIL rIver uL IIoodLIde.
moved Iorwurd, Iound LIe sLeps und sLurLed down. BeIow LIe
brIdge Iuv LIe Iurd sLone rIver oI LIe sLreeL, und Ior u second Iooked uL
LIe wuves oI cobbIesLones us LIougI expecLed wuLer, us LIougI LIe
IounLuIn ubove Iud druwn Irom LIem. SLIII wouId enLer und go ucross
Lo HurIem. BeIow LIe sLeps LIe LroIIev ruIIs gIeumed sLeeIv. IurrIed,
LIe sound druwIng cIoser, mvrIud-voIced, IummIng, enIoIdIng me,
numbIng LIe uIr, us sLurLed beneuLI LIe rump. L cume, u LwILLer, u
coo, u subdued rour LIuL seemed LrvIng Lo LeII me someLIIng, gIve me
some messuge. sLopped, IookIng uround me; LIe gIrders murcIed oII
rIvLImIcuIIv InLo LIe durk, over LIe cobbIesLones LIe red IIgILs sIone.
TIen wus beneuLI LIe brIdge und IL wus us LIougI LIev Iud been
wuILIng Ior me und no one buL me-dedIcuLed und seL usIde Ior me-Ior
un eLernILv. And Iooked ubove Lowurd LIe sound, mv mInd IormIng un
Imuge oI wIngs, us someLIIng sLruck mv Iuce und sLreuked, und couId
smeII LIe IouI uIr now, und see LIe encrusLed burruge, IeeIIng IL sLreuk
mv juckeL und ruIsIng mv brIeI cuse ubove mv Ieud und runnIng,
IeurIng IL spIuLLerIng uround, IuIIIng IIke ruIn. run LIe gunLIeL,
LIInkIng, even LIe bIrds; even LIe pIgeons und LIe spurrows und LIe
goddum guIIs! run bIIndIv, boIIIng wILI ouLruge und despuIr und IursI
IuugILer. RunnIng Irom LIe bIrds Lo wIuL, dIdn'L know. run. WIv
wus Iere uL uII?
run LIrougI LIe nIgIL, run wILIIn mvseII. Run.
CIupLer z=
WIen reucIed MornIngsIde LIe sIooLIng sounded IIke u dIsLunL
ceIebruLIon oI LIe ourLI oI JuIv, und IurrIed Iorwurd. AL SL. NIcIoIus
LIe sLreeL IIgILs were ouL. A LIunderous sound urose und suw Iour
men runnIng Lowurd me pusIIng someLIIng LIuL jurred LIe wuIk. L wus
u suIe.
"Suv," begun.
"GeL LIe IeII ouL LIe wuv!"
Ieuped usIde, InLo LIe sLreeL, und LIere wus u sudden und
brIIIIunL suspensIon oI LIme, IIke LIe InLervuI beLween LIe IusL ux sLroke
und LIe IeIIIng oI u LuII Lree, In wIIcI LIere Iud been u Ioud noIse
IoIIowed bv u Ioud sIIence. TIen wus uwure oI IIgures croucIIng In
doorwuvs und uIong LIe curb; LIen LIme bursL und wus down In LIe
sLreeL, conscIous buL unubIe Lo rIse, sLruggIIng uguInsL LIe sLreeL und
seeIng LIe IIusIes us LIe guns wenL oII buck uL LIe corner oI LIe uvenue,
uwure Lo mv IeIL oI LIe men sLIII speedIng LIe rumbIIng suIe uIong LIe
wuIk us buck up LIe sLreeL, beIInd me, Lwo poIIcemen, uImosL InvIsIbIe
In bIuck sIIrLs, LIrusL IIumIng pIsLoIs beIore LIem. One oI LIe suIe
roIIers pILcIed Iorwurd, und IurLIer uwuv, pusL LIe corner, u buIIeL
sLruck un uuLo LIre, LIe reIeused uIr sIrIekIng IIke u Iuge unImuI In
ugonv. roIIed, IIoppIng uround, wIIIIng mvseII Lo cruwI cIoser Lo LIe
curb buL unubIe, IeeIIng u sudden weL wurmLI upon mv Iuce und seeIng
LIe suIe sIooLIng wIIdIv InLo LIe InLersecLIon und LIe men roundIng LIe
corner InLo LIe durk, poundIng, gone; gone now, us LIe skILLerIng suIe
bounded oII uL u LungenL, sIoL InLo LIe InLersecLIon und Iodged In LIe
LIIrd ruII und senL up u curLuIn oI spurks LIuL IIL up LIe bIock IIke u bIue
dreum; u dreum wus dreumIng und LIrougI wIIcI couId see LIe cops
bruced us on u LurgeL runge, IeeL Iorwurd, Iree urms ukImbo, IIrIng wILI
deIIberuLe uIm.
"GeL IoId oI Emergencv!" one oI LIem cuIIed, und suw LIem Lurn
und dIsuppeur wIere LIe duII gIInL oI LroIIev ruIIs Iuded oII InLo LIe
durk.
SuddenIv LIe bIock Ieuped uIIve. Men wIo seemed Lo rIse up ouL oI
LIe sIdewuIks were rusIIng InLo LIe sLore IronLs ubove me, LIeIr voIces
rIsIng excILedIv. And now LIe bIood wus In mv Iuce und couId move,
geLLIng Lo mv knees us someone ouL oI LIe crowd wus IeIpIng me Lo
sLund.
"You IurL, duddv?"
"Some- don'L know -" couIdn'L quILe see LIem.
"Dumn! He's goL u IoIe In IIs Ieud!" u voIce suId.
A IIgIL IIusIed In mv Iuce, cume cIose. IeIL u Iurd Iund upon mv
skuII und moved uwuv.
"HeII, IL's jusL u nIck," u voIce suId. "One LIem IorLv-IIves IIL vour
IILLIe IInger vou goL Lo go down!"
"WeII, LIIs one over Iere Is gone down Ior LIe IusL LIme," someone
cuIIed Irom LIe wuIk. "TIev goL IIm cIeun."
wIped mv Iuce, mv Ieud rIngIng. SomeLIIng wus mIssIng.
"Here, buddv, LIIs vours?"
L wus mv brIeI cuse, exLended Lo me bv ILs IundIes. seIzed IL wILI
sudden punIc, us LIougI someLIIng InIInILeIv precIous Iud uImosL been
IosL Lo me.
"TIunks," suId, peerIng InLo LIeIr dIm, bIue-LInLed IeuLures.
Iooked uL LIe deud mun. He Iuv Iuce Iorwurd, LIe crowd workIng
uround IIm. reuIIzed suddenIv LIuL IL mIgIL Iuve been me IuddIed
LIere, IeeIIng Loo LIuL Iud seen IIm LIere beIore, In LIe brIgIL IIgIL oI
noon, Iong ugo . . . Iow Iong? Knew IIs nume, LIougIL, und suddenIv
mv knees IIowed Iorwurd. suL LIere, mv IIsL LIuL grIpped LIe brIeI cuse
bruIsIng uguInsL LIe sLreeL, mv Ieud sIumped Iorwurd. TIev were goIng
uround me.
"GeL oII mv IooL, mun," Ieurd. "QuIL sIovIng. TIere's pIenLv Ior
evervbodv."
TIere wus someLIIng Iud Lo do und knew LIuL mv IorgeLIuIness
wusn'L reuI, us one knows LIuL LIe IorgoLLen deLuIIs oI cerLuIn dreums
ure noL LruIv IorgoLLen buL evuded. knew, und In mv mInd wus LrvIng
Lo reucI LIrougI LIe gruv veII LIuL now seemed Lo Iung beIInd mv eves
us opuqueIv us LIe bIue curLuIn LIuL screened LIe sLreeL bevond LIe
suIe. TIe dIzzIness IeIL und munuged Lo sLund, IoIdIng onLo mv brIeI
cuse, pressIng u IundkercIIeI Lo mv Ieud. Up LIe sLreeL LIere sounded
LIe crusIIng oI Iuge sIeeLs oI gIuss und LIrougI LIe bIue
mvsLerIousness oI LIe durk LIe wuIks sIImmered IIke sIuLLered
mIrrors. AII LIe sLreeL's sIgns were deud, uII LIe duv sounds Iud IosL
LIeIr sLubIe meunIng. SomewIere u burgIur uIurm wenL oII, u
meunIngIess bIungv sound, IoIIowed bv LIe jovIuI sIouLs oI IooLers.
"Come on," someone cuIIed neurbv.
"eL's go, buddv," LIe mun wIo Iud IeIped me suId. He Look mv
urm, u LIIn mun wIo currIed u Iurge cIoLI bug sIung over IIs sIouIder.
"TIe sIupe vou In wouIdn'L do Lo Ieuve vou round Iere," Ie suId.
"You ucL IIke vou drunk."
"Go wIere?" suId.
"WIere? HeII, mun. EvervwIere. We gIL Lo movIng, no LeIIIng
wIere we mIgIL go-Hev, Dupre!" Ie cuIIed.
"Suv, mun-Goddum! Don'L be cuIIIng mv nume so Ioud," u voIce
unswered. "Here, um over Iere, gILLIng me some work sIIrLs."
"GIL some Ior me, Du," Ie suId.
"AII rIgIL, buL don'L LIInk 'm vour pupu," LIe unswer cume.
Iooked uL LIe LIIn mun, IeeIIng u surge oI IrIendsIIp. He dIdn'L
know me, IIs IeIp wus dIsInLeresLed . . .
"Hev, Du," Ie cuIIed, "we go'n do IL?"
"HeII ves, soon us gIL me LIese sIIrLs."
TIe crowd wus workIng In und ouL oI LIe sLores IIke unLs uround
spIIIed sugur. rom LIme Lo LIme LIere cume LIe crusI oI gIuss, sIoLs;
IIre Lrucks In dIsLunL sLreeLs.
"How vou IeeI?" LIe mun suId.
"SLIII Iuzzv," suId, "und weuk."
"e's see II IL's sLopped bIeedIng. YeuI, vou'II be uII rIgIL."
suw IIm vugueIv LIougI IIs voIce cume cIeur.
"Sure," suId.
"Mun, vou Iuckv vou uIn'L deud. TIese sonsubILcIes Is reuIIv
sIooLIng now," Ie suId. "Over on enox LIev wus uImIng up In LIe uIr.
I couId IInd me u rIIIe, 'd sIow 'em! Here, Luke vou u drInk oI LIIs
good ScoLcI," Ie suId, LukIng u quurL boLLIe Irom u IIp pockeL. " goL me
u wIoIe cuse sLusIed wIuL goL Irom u IIquor sLore over LIere. Over
LIere uII vou goL Lo do Is breuLIe, und vou drunk, mun. Drunk!
Hundred prooI bonded wIIskev IIowIng uII In LIe guLLers."
Look u drInk, sIudderIng us LIe wIIskev wenL down buL LIunkIuI
Ior LIe sIock IL guve me. TIere wus u bursLIng, LeurIng movemenL oI
peopIe uround me, durk IIgures In u bIue gIow.
"ook uL LIem Luke IL uwuv," Ie suId, IookIng InLo LIe durk ucLIon
oI LIe crowd. "Me, 'm LIred. Wus vou over on enox?"
"No," suId, seeIng u womun movIng sIowIv pusL wILI u row oI
ubouL u dozen dressed cIIckens suspended bv LIeIr necks Irom LIe
IundIe oI u new sLruw broom . . .
"HeII, vou ougIL Lo see IL, mun. EvervLIIng Is Lore up. Bv now LIe
womens Is pIckIng IL cIeun. suw one oIe womun wILI u wIoIe sIde oI u
cow on Ier buck. Mun, sIe wus 'bouL benL bowIegged LrvIng Lo muke IL
Iome-Here come Dupre now," Ie suId, breukIng oII.
suw u IILLIe Iurd mun come ouL oI LIe crowd currvIng severuI
boxes. He wore LIree IuLs upon IIs Ieud, und severuI puIrs oI
suspenders IIopped ubouL IIs sIouIders, und now us Ie cume Lowurd us
suw LIuL Ie wore u puIr oI gIeumIng new rubber IIp booLs. HIs pockeLs
buIged und over IIs sIouIder Ie currIed u cIoLI suck LIuL swung IeuvIIv
beIInd IIm.
"Dumn, Dupre," mv IrIend suId, poInLIng Lo IIs Ieud, "vou goL one
oI LIem Ior me? WIuL kInd Is LIev?"
Dupre sLopped und Iooked uL IIm. "WILI uII LIem IuLs In LIere
und 'm goIng Lo come ouL wILI unvLIIng buL u Dobbs? Mun, ure vou
mud? AII LIem new, preLLv-coIored Dobbs? Come on, IeL's geL goIng
beIore LIe cops gIL buck. Dumn, Iook uL LIuL LIIng bIuze!"
Iooked Lowurd LIe curLuIn oI bIue IIre, LIrougI wIIcI vugue
IIgures LoIIed. Dupre cuIIed ouL und severuI men IeIL LIe crowd und
joIned us In LIe sLreeL. We moved oII, mv IrIend (ScoIIeId, LIe oLIers
cuIIed IIm) IeudIng me uIong. Mv Ieud LIrobbed, sLIII bIed.
"ooks IIke vou goL vou some IooL Loo," Ie suId, poInLIng Lo mv
brIeI cuse.
"NoL mucI," suId, LIInkIng, IooL? ooL? And suddenIv knew
wIv IL wus Ieuvv, rememberIng Murv's broken bunk und LIe coIns; und
now Iound mvseII openIng LIe brIeI cuse und droppIng uII mv pupers
-mv BroLIerIood IdenLIIIcuLIon, LIe unonvmous IeLLer, uIong wILI
CIIILon's doII-InLo IL.
"III IL up, mun. Don'L vou be busIIuI. You wuIL LIII we LuckIe one
oI LIese puwnsIops. TIuL Du's goL IIm u coLLon-pIckIng suck IuIIu sLuII.
He couId go InLo busIness."
"WeII, 'II be dumn," u mun on LIe oLIer sIde oI me suId. " LIougIL
LIuL wus u coLLon suck. WIere'd Ie geL LIuL LIIng?"
"He brougIL IL wILI IIm wIen Ie come NorLI," ScoIIeId suId. "Du
sweurs LIuL wIen Ie goes buck Ie'II Iuve IL IuII oI Len-doIIur bIIIs. HeII,
uILer LonIgIL Ie'II need IIm u wureIouse Ior uII LIe sLuII Ie's goL. You
IIII LIuL brIeI cuse, buddv. GeL vourseII someLIIng!"
"No," suId, "'ve enougI In IL uIreudv." And now remembered
verv cIeurIv wIere 'd sLurLed ouL Ior buL couId noL Ieuve LIem.
"Muvbe vou rIgIL," ScoIIeId suId. "How know, vou mIgIL Iuve IL
IuII oI dIumonds or someLIIng. A mun ougILn'L Lo be greedv. TIougI
IL's LIme someLIIng IIke LIIs Iuppened."
We moved uIong. SIouId Ieuve, geL on Lo LIe dIsLrIcL? WIere
were LIev, uL LIe bIrLIduv ceIebruLIon?
"How dId uII LIIs geL sLurLed?" suId.
ScoIIeId seemed surprIsed. "Dumn II know, mun. A cop sIoL u
womun or someLIIng."
AnoLIer mun moved cIose Lo us us somewIere u pIece oI Ieuvv
sLeeI rung down.
"HeII, LIuL wusn'L wIuL sLurLed IL," Ie suId. "L wus LIuL IeIIow,
wIuL's IIs nume . . . ?"
"WIo?" suId. "WIuL's IIs nume?"
"TIuL voung guv!"
"You know, evervbodv's mud ubouL IL . . ."
CIIILon, LIougIL. L's Ior CIIILon. A nIgIL Ior CIIILon.
"Aw mun, don'L LeII me," ScoIIeId suId. "DIdn'L see IL wILI mv
own eves? AbouL eIgIL o'cIock down on enox und 1zrd LIIs puddv
sIupped u kId Ior grubbIng u Bubv RuLI und LIe kId's mumu Look IL up
und LIen LIe puddv sIupped Ier und LIuL's wIen IeII broke Ioose."
"You were LIere?" suId.
"Sume's 'm Iere. Some IeIIow suId LIe kId mude LIe puddv mud
bv grubbIng u cundv numed uILer u wIILe womun."
"Dumn II LIuL's LIe wuv Ieurd IL," unoLIer mun suId. "WIen
come up LIev suId u wIILe womun seL IL oIL bv LrvIng Lo Luke u bIuck
guI's mun."
"Dumn wIo sLurLed IL," Dupre suId. "AII wunL Is Ior IL Lo IusL u
wIIIe."
"L wus u wIILe guI, uII rIgIL, buL LIuL wusn'L LIe wuv IL wus. SIe
wus drunk -" unoLIer voIce suId.
BuL IL couIdn'L Iuve been SvbII, LIougIL; IL Iud uIreudv sLurLed.
"You wuIn know wIo sLurLed IL?" u mun IoIdIng u puIr oI
bInocuIurs cuIIed Irom LIe wIndow oI u puwnsIop. "You wuIn reuIIv Lo
know?"
"Sure," suId.
"WeII, vou don'L need Lo go no IurLIer. L wus sLurLed bv LIuL greuL
Ieuder, Rus LIe DesLrover!"
"TIuL monkev-cIuser?" someone suId.
"IsLen, buIsLurd!"
"Don'L nobodv know Iow IL sLurLed," Dupre suId.
"Somebodv Ius Lo know," suId.
ScoIIeId IeId IIs wIIskev Lowurd me. reIused IL.
"HeII, mun, IL jusL expIoded. TIese Is dog duvs," Ie suId.
"Dog duvs?"
"SIo, LIIs IoL weuLIer."
" LeII vou LIev mud over wIuL Iuppen Lo LIuL voung IeIIow,
wIuL's-IIs-nume . . ."
We were pussIng u buIIdIng now und Ieurd u voIce cuIIIng
IrunLIcuIIv, "CoIored sLore! CoIored sLore!"
"TIen puL up u sIgn, moLIerIouIer," u voIce suId. "You probubIv
roLLen us LIe oLIers."
"IsLen uL LIe busLurd. or one LIme In IIs IIIe Ie's gIud Lo be
coIored," ScoIIeId suId.
"CoIored sLore," LIe voIce wenL on uuLomuLIcuIIv.
"Hev! You sIo vou uIn'L goL some wIILe bIood?"
"No, sIr!" LIe voIce suId.
"SIouId busL IIm, mun?"
"or wIuL? He uIn'L goL u dumn LIIng. eL LIe moLIerIouIer
uIone."
A Iew doors uwuv we cume Lo u Iurdwure sLore. "TIIs Is LIe IIrsL
sLop, men," Dupre suId.
"WIuL Iuppens now?" suId.
"WIo vou?" Ie suId, cockIng IIs LIrIce-IuLLed Ieud.
"Nobodv, jusL one oI LIe bovs -" begun.
"You sIo vou uIn'L somebodv know?"
"'m preLLv sure," suId.
"He's uII rIgIL, Du," suId ScoIIeId. "TIem cops sIoL IIm."
Dupre Iooked uL me und kIcked someLIIng-u pound oI buLLer,
sendIng IL smeurIng ucross LIe IoL sLreeL. "We IIxIng Lo do someLIIng
wIuL needs Lo be done," Ie suId. "IrsL we geLs u IIusIIIgIL Ior
evervbodv . . . And IeL's Iuve some orgunIzuLIon, v'uII. Don'L evervbodv
be runnIng over evervbodv eIse. Come on!"
"Come on In, buddv," ScoIIeId suId.
IeIL no need Lo Ieud or Ieuve LIem; wus gIud Lo IoIIow; wus
grIpped bv u need Lo see wIere und Lo wIuL LIev wouId Ieud. And uII LIe
LIme LIe LIougIL LIuL sIouId go Lo LIe dIsLrIcL wus wILI me. We wenL
InsIde LIe sLore, InLo LIe durk gIInLIng wILI meLuI. TIev moved
cureIuIIv, und couId Ieur LIem seurcIIng, sweepIng objecLs Lo LIe
IIoor. TIe cusI regIsLer rung.
"Here some IIusIIIgILs over Iere," someone cuIIed.
"How munv?" Dupre suId.
"PIenLv, mun."
"Okuv, puss ouL one Lo evervbodv. TIev goL buLLerIes?"
"Nuw, buL LIere's pIenLv LIem Loo, 'bouL u dozen boxes."
"Okuv, gIve me one wILI buLLerIes so cun IInd LIe buckeLs. TIen
everv mun geL IIm u IIgIL."
"Here some buckeLs over Iere," ScoIIeId suId.
"TIen uII we goL Lo IInd Is wIere Ie keeps LIe oII."
"OII?" suId.
"CouI oII, mun. And Iev, v'uII," Ie cuIIed, '"don'L nobodv be
smokIng In Iere."
sLood besIde ScoIIeId IIsLenIng Lo LIe noIse us Ie Look u sLuck oI
zInc buckeLs und pussed LIem ouL. Now LIe sLore Ieuped uIIve wILI
IIusIIng IIgILs und IIIckerIng sIudows.
"Keep LIem IIgILs down on LIe IIoor," Dupre cuIIed. "No use
IeLLIng IoIks see wIo we ure. Now wIen vou geL vour buckeLs IIne up
und IeL me IIII 'em."
"IsLen Lo oIe Du Iuv IL down-Ie's u bILcI, uIn'L Ie, buddv? He
uIwuvs IIked Lo Ieud LIIngs. And uIwuvs IeudIng me InLo LroubIe."
"WIuL ure we geLLIng reudv Lo do?" suId.
"You'II see," Dupre suId. "Hev, vou over LIere. Come on Irom
beIInd LIuL counLer und Luke LIIs buckeL. Don'L vou see uIn'L noLIIng In
LIuL cusI regIsLer, LIuL II IL wus 'd Iuve IL mvseII?"
SuddenIv LIe bungIng oI buckeLs ceused. We moved InLo LIe buck
room. Bv LIe IIgIL oI u IIusI couId see u row oI IueI drums mounLed on
rucks. Dupre sLood beIore LIem In IIs new IIp booLs und IIIIed eucI
buckeL wILI oII. We moved In sIow order. Our buckeLs IIIIed, we IIIed
ouL InLo LIe sLreeL. sLood LIere In LIe durk IeeIIng u rIsIng excILemenL
us LIeIr voIces pIuved uround me. WIuL wus LIe meunIng oI IL uII? WIuL
sIouId LIInk oI IL, do ubouL IL?
"WILI LIIs sLuII," Dupre suId, "we beLLer wuIk In LIe mIddIe oI LIe
sLreeL. L's jusL down uround LIe corner."
TIen us we moved oII u group oI bovs run umong us und LIe men
sLurLed usIng LIeIr IIgILs, reveuIIng durLIng IIgures In bIonde wIgs, LIe
LuIIs oI LIeIr sLoIen dress couLs IIvIng. BeIInd LIem In IoL pursuIL cume
u gung urmed wILI dummv rIIIes Luken Irom un Armv & Nuvv SLore.
IuugIed wILI LIe oLIers, LIInkIng: A IoIv IoIIduv Ior CIIILon.
"PuL ouL LIem IIgILs!" Dupre communded.
BeIInd us cume LIe sound oI screums, IuugILer; uIeud LIe
IooLIuIIs oI LIe runnIng bovs, dIsLunL IIre Lrucks, sIooLIng, und In LIe
quIeL InLervuIs, LIe sLeudv IIILerIng oI sIuLLered gIuss. couId smeII LIe
kerosene us IL sIosIed Irom LIe buckeLs und sIupped uguInsL LIe sLreeL.
SuddenIv ScoIIeId grubbed mv urm. "Good God, Iook-u-vonder!"
And suw u crowd oI men runnIng up puIIIng u Borden's mIIk
wugon, on Lop oI wIIcI, surrounded bv u row oI ruIIroud IIures, u Iuge
womun In u gIngIum pInuIore suL drInkIng beer Irom u burreI wIIcI suL
beIore Ier. TIe men wouId run IurIousIv u Iew puces und sLop, resLIng
beLween LIe sIuILs, run u Iew puces und resL, sIouLIng und IuugIIng
und drInkIng Irom u jug, us sIe on Lop LIrew buck Ier Ieud und
sIouLed pussIonuLeIv In u IuII-LIrouLed voIce oI bIues sInger's LImbre:
I IL Iudn'L been Ior LIe reIeree,
Joe ouIs wouIdu kIIIed
JIm JeIIerIe
ree beer!!
- sIosIIng LIe dIpper oI beer uround.
We sLepped usIde, umuzed, us sIe bowed grucIousIv Irom sIde Lo
sIde IIke u LIpsv IuL Iudv In u cIrcus purude, LIe dIpper IIke u gruvv spoon
In Ier enormous Iund. TIen sIe IuugIed und drunk deepIv wIIIe
reucIIng over noncIuIunLIv wILI Ier Iree Iund Lo send quurL uILer quurL
oL mIIk crusIIng InLo LIe sLreeL. And uII LIe LIme LIe men runnIng wILI
LIe wugon over LIe debrIs. Around me LIere were sIouLs oI IuugILer
und dIsupprovuI.
"Somebodv beLLer sLop LIem IooIs," ScoIIeId suId In ouLruge.
"TIuL's wIuL cuII LukIng LIIngs Loo Iur. Goddum, Iow LIe IeII LIev
goIng Lo geL Ier down Irom LIere uILer sIe gILs IuIIu beer? Somebodv
unswer me LIuL. How LIev goIng Lo geL Ier down? 'Round Iere
LIrowIng uwuv uII LIuL good mIIk!"
TIe bIg womun IeIL me unnerved. MIIk und beer- IeIL sud,
wuLcIIng LIe wugon cureen dungerousIv us LIev wenL uround u corner.
We wenL on, uvoIdIng LIe broken boLLIes us now LIe spIIIIng kerosene
spIusIed InLo LIe puIe spIIL mIIk. How mucI Ius Iuppened? WIv wus
Lorn? We moved uround u corner. Mv Ieud sLIII ucIed.
ScoIIeId LoucIed mv urm. "Here we Is," Ie suId.
We Iud come Lo u Iuge LenemenL buIIdIng.
"WIere ure we?" suId.
"TIIs LIe pIuce wIere mosL oI us IIve," Ie suId. "Come on."
So LIuL wus IL, LIe meunIng oI LIe kerosene. couIdn'L beIIeve IL,
couIdn'L beIIeve LIev Iud LIe nerve. AII LIe wIndows seemed empLv.
TIev'd bIucked IL ouL LIemseIves. suw now onIv bv IIusI or IIume.
"WIere wIII vou IIve?" suId, IookIng up, up.
"You cuII LIIs IIvIng?" ScoIIeId suId. "L's LIe onIv wuv Lo gIL rId oI
IL, mun . . ."
Iooked Ior IesILuLIon In LIeIr vugue Iorms. TIev sLood IookIng uL
LIe buIIdIng rIsIng ubove us, LIe IIquId durk oI LIe oII sImmerIng duIIv
In LIe sLruv IIecks oI IIgIL LIuL sLruck LIeIr puIIs, benL Iorwurd, LIeIr
sIouIders bowed. None suId "no," bv word or sLunce. And In LIe durk
wIndows und on LIe rooIs ubove couId now dIscern LIe Iorms oI
women und cIIIdren.
Dupre moved Lowurd LIe buIIdIng.
"Now Iook uIere, v'uII," Ie suId, IIs LrIpIe-IuLLed Ieud sIowIng
groLesqueIv uLop LIe sLoop. " wunLs uII LIe women und cIIIIun und LIe
oId und LIe sIck IoIks brougIL ouL. And wIen vou Lukes vour buckeLs up
LIe sLuIrs wunLs vou Lo go cIeun Lo LIe Lop. meun LIe Lop! And wIen
vou gIL LIere wunL vou Lo sLurL usIng vour IIusIIIgILs In everv room Lo
muke sure nobodv gILs IeIL beIInd, LIen wIen vou gIL 'em ouL sLurL
spIusIIng couI oII. TIen wIen vou gIL IL spIusIed 'm goIng Lo IoIIer,
und wIen IoIIer LIree LImes wunL vou Lo IIgIL LIem muLcIes und gIL.
AILer LIuL IL's everv Lub on ILs own bIuck boLLom!"
L dIdn'L occur Lo me Lo InLerIere, or Lo quesLIon . . . TIev Iud u
pIun. AIreudv couId see LIe women und cIIIdren comIng down LIe
sLeps. A cIIId wus crvIng. And suddenIv evervone puused, LurnIng,
IookIng oII InLo LIe durk. SomewIere neurbv un Incongruous sound
sIook LIe durk, un uIr Iummer poundIng IIke u mucIIne gun. TIev
puused wILI LIe sensILIvILv oI gruzIng deer, LIen reLurned Lo LIeIr work,
LIe women und cIIIdren once more movIng.
"TIuL's rIgIL, v'uII. You IudIes move on up LIe sLreeL Lo LIe IoIks
vou goIng Lo sLuv wILI," Dupre suId. "And keep IoIL LIem kIds!"
Someone pounded mv buck und swung uround, seeIng u womun
pusI pusL me und cIImb up Lo cuLcI Dupre's urm, LIeIr Lwo IIgures
seemIng Lo bIend us Ier voIce urose, LIIn, vIbrunL und desperuLe.
"PIeuse, Dupre," sIe suId, "pIeuse. You know mv LIme's uImosL
Iere . . . vou know IL Is. I vou do IL now, wIere um goIng Lo go?"
Dupre puIIed uwuv und rose Lo u IIgIer sLep. He Iooked down uL
Ier, sIukIng IIs LIrIce-IuLLed Ieud. "Now gIL on ouL LIe wuv, oLLIe,"
Ie suId puLIenLIv. "WIv vou Iuve Lo sLurL LIIs now? We done been uII
over IL und vou know uIn'L go'n cIunge. And IIssen Iere, LIe resLu
v'uII," Ie suId, reucIIng InLo LIe Lop oI IIs IIp booL und producIng u
nIckeI-pIuLed revoIver und wuvIng IL uround, "don'L LIInk LIev's goIng
Lo be unv mInd-cIungIng eILIer. And don'L uIm Ior no urgumenLs
neILIer."
"You goddum rIgIL, Dupre. We wId vou!"
"Mv kId dIed Irom LIe L-bees In LIuL deuLILrup, buL beL u mun
uIn'L no more go'n be born In LIere," Ie suId. "So now, oLLIe, vou go on
up LIe sLreeL und IeL us mens gIL goIng."
SIe sLood buck, crvIng. Iooked uL Ier, In Iouse sIoes, Ier breusLs
LurgId, Ier beIIv Ieuvv und IIgI. n LIe crowd, women's Iunds Look Ier
uwuv, Ier Iurge IIquId eves Lurned Ior u second Lowurd LIe mun In LIe
rubber booLs.
WIuL Lvpe oI mun Is Ie, wIuL wouId Juck suv oI IIm? Juck. Juck!
And wIere wus Ie In LIIs?
"eL's go, buddv," ScoIIeId suId, nudgIng me. IoIIowed IIm, IIIIed
wILI u sense oI Juck's ouLrugeous unreuIILv. We wenL In, up LIe sLuIrs,
IIusIIng our IIgILs. AIeud suw Dupre movIng. He wus u Lvpe oI mun
noLIIng In mv IIIe Iud LuugIL me Lo see, Lo undersLund, or respecL, u
mun ouLsIde LIe scIeme LIII now. We enLered rooms IILLered wILI LIe
sIgns oI swIIL empLvIng. L wus IoL, cIose.
"TIIs Iere's mv own upurLmenL," ScoIIeId suId. "And uIn'L LIe
bedbugs goIng Lo geL u surprIse!"
We sIopped LIe kerosene ubouL, upon un oId muLLress, uIong LIe
IIoor; LIen moved InLo LIe IuII, usIng LIe IIusIIIgILs. rom uII LIrougI
LIe buIIdIng cume LIe sounds oI IooLsLeps, oI spIusIIng oII, LIe
occusIonuI pruverIuI proLesL oI some oId one beIng Iorced Lo Ieuve. TIe
men worked In sIIence now, IIke moIes deep In LIe eurLI. TIme seemed
Lo IoId. No one IuugIed. TIen Irom beIow cume Dupre's' voIce.
"Okuv, mens. We goL evervbodv ouL. Now sLurLIng wILI LIe Lop
IIoor wunL vou Lo sLurL sLrIkIng muLcIes. Be cureIuI und don'L seL
vourseII on IIre . . ."
TIere wus sLIII some kerosene IeIL In ScoIIeId's buckeL und suw
IIm pIck up u rug und drop IL In; LIen cume LIe spuLLerIng oI u muLcI
und suw LIe room Ieup Lo IIume. TIe IeuL IIured up und bucked
uwuv. He sLood LIere sIIIoueLLed uguInsL LIe red IIure, IookIng InLo LIe
IIumes, sIouLIng.
"Goddum vou roLLen sonsubILcIes. You dIdn'L LIInk 'd do IL buL
LIere IL Is. You wouIdn'L IIx IL up. Now see Iow vou IIke IL."
"eL's go," suId.
BeIow us, men sIoL downsLuIrs IIve und sIx sLeps uL u LIme, movIng
In LIe weIrd IIgIL oI IIusI und IIume In Iong, dreum-bounds. On eucI
IIoor us pussed, smoke und IIume urose. And now wus seIzed wILI u
IIerce sense oI exuILuLIon. TIev've done IL, LIougIL. TIev orgunIzed IL
und currIed IL LIrougI uIone; LIe decIsIon LIeIr own und LIeIr own
ucLIon. CupubIe oI LIeIr own ucLIon . . .
TIere cume u LIunder oI IooLIuIIs ubove me, someone cuIIIng,
"Keep goIng mun, IL's IeII upsLuIrs. Somebodv done opened LIe door Lo
LIe rooI und LIem IIumes Is IeupIng."
"Come on," ScoIIeId suId.
moved, IeeIIng someLIIng sIIp und wus IuIIwuv down LIe nexL
IIIgIL beIore reuIIzIng LIuL mv brIeI cuse wus gone. or u second
IesILuLed, buL 'd Iud IL Loo Iong Lo Ieuve IL now.
"Come on, buddv," ScoIIeId cuIIed, "we cuInL be IooIIng uround."
"n u second," suId.
Men were sIooLIng pusL. benL over, IoIdIng on Lo LIe IundruII
und sIouIdered mv wuv buck up LIe sLuIrs, usIng mv IIusI uIong eucI
sLep, buck sIowIv, IIndIng IL, un oIIv IooLsLep embedded wILI crusIed
pIeces oI pIusLer sIowIng upon ILs IeuLIer sIde; geLLIng IL now und
LurnIng Lo bound down uguIn. TIe oII won'L come oII eusIIv, LIougIL
wILI u pung. BuL LIIs wus IL, wIuL Iud known wus comIng uround LIe
durk corner oI mv mInd, Iud known und LrIed Lo LeII LIe commILLee und
wIIcI LIev Iud Ignored. pIunged down, sIukIng wILI IIerce
excILemenL.
AL LIe IundIng suw u buckeL IuII IuII oI kerosene und seIzed IL,
IIIngIng IL ImpuIsIveIv InLo u burnIng room. A Iuge puII oI smoke-
IrInged IIume IIIIed LIe doorwuv, IIckIng ouLwurd Lowurd me. run,
cIokIng und cougIIng us pIunged. TIev dId IL LIemseIves, LIougIL,
IoIdIng mv breuLI-pIunned IL, orgunIzed IL, uppIIed LIe IIume.
bursL InLo LIe uIr und LIe expIodIng sounds oI LIe nIgIL, und
dId noL know II LIe voIce wus LIuL oI u mun, womun or cIIId, buL Ior u
momenL sLood on LIe sLoop wILI LIe red doorwuv beIInd me und
Ieurd LIe voIce cuII me bv mv BroLIerIood nume.
L wus us LIougI Iud been uroused Irom sIeep und Ior un InsLunL
sLood LIere IookIng, IIsLenIng Lo LIe voIce uImosL IosL In LIe cIumour
oI sIouLs, screums, burgIur uIurms und sIrens.
"BroLIer, uIn'L IL wonderIuI," IL cuIIed. "You suId vou wouId Ieud
us, vou reuIIv suId IL . . ."
wenL down InLo LIe sLreeL, goIng sIowIv buL IIIIed wILI u IeverIsI
Inner need Lo be uwuv Irom LIuL voIce. WIere Iud ScoIIeId gone?
MosL oI LIeIr eves, wIILe In LIe IIume-IIusIed durk, Iooked Lowurd
LIe buIIdIng.
BuL now Ieurd someone suv, "Womun, wIo vou suv LIuL Is?" And
sIe proudIv repeuLed mv nume.
"WIere Ie go? GeL IIm, muIn, Rus wuInL IIm!"
wenL InLo LIe crowd, wuIkIng sIowIv, smooLIIv InLo LIe durk
crowd, LIe wIoIe surIuce oI mv skIn uIerL, mv buck cIIIIed, IookIng,
IIsLenIng Lo LIose movIng wILI u IeuvIng und sweuLIng und u burr oI
LuIk uround me und uwure LIuL now LIuL wunLed Lo see LIem, needed
Lo see LIem, couId noL; IeeIIng LIem, u durk muss In moLIon on u durk
nIgIL, u bIuck rIver rIppIng LIrougI u bIuck Iund; und Rus or Turp couId
move besIde me und wouIdn'L know. wus one wILI LIe muss, movIng
down LIe IILLered sLreeL over LIe puddIes oI oII und mIIk, mv
personuIILv bIusLed. TIen wus In LIe nexL bIock, dodgIng In und ouL,
IeurIng LIem somewIere In LIe crowd beIInd me; movIng on LIrougI
LIe sound oI sIrens und burgIur uIurms Lo be swepL InLo u swIILer crowd
und pusIed uIong, IuII-runnIng, IuII-wuIkIng, LrvIng Lo see beIInd me
und wonderIng wIere LIe oLIers Iud gone. TIere wus sIooLIng buck
LIere now, und on eILIer sIde oI me LIev were LIrowIng gurbuge cuns,
brIcks und pIeces oI meLuI InLo pIuLe gIuss wIndows. moved, IeeIIng us
LIougI u Iuge Iorce wus on LIe poInL oI bursLIng. SIouIderIng mv wuv
Lo LIe sIde sLood In u doorwuv und wuLcIed LIem move, IeeIIng u
cerLuIn vIndIcuLIon us now LIougIL oI LIe messuge LIuL Iud brougIL
me Iere. WIo Iud cuIIed, one oI LIe dIsLrIcL members or someone Irom
Juck's bIrLIduv ceIebruLIon? WIo wunLed me uL LIe dIsLrIcL uILer IL wus
Loo IuLe? Verv weII, 'd go LIere now. 'd see wIuL LIe musLer mInds
LIougIL now. WIere were LIev unvwuv, und wIuL proIound concIusIons
were LIev druwIng? WIuL ex posL IucLo Iessons oI IIsLorv? And LIuL
crusI over LIe LeIepIone, Iud LIuL been LIe begInnIng, or Iud Juck
sImpIv dropped IIs eve? IuugIed drunkenIv, LIe erupLIon puInIng mv
Ieud.
SuddenIv LIe sIooLIng ceused und In LIe sIIence LIere wus LIe
sound oI voIces, IooLIuIIs, Iubor.
"Hev, buddv," somebodv suId besIde me, "wIere vou goIng?" L
wus ScoIIeId.
"L's eILIer run or geL knocked down," suId. " LIougIL vou were
sLIII buck LIere."
" cuL ouL, mun. A buIIdIng Lwo doors uwuv sLurLed Lo burn und
LIev Iud Lo gIL LIe IIre depurLmenL . . . Dumn! wusn'L Ior LIIs noIse 'd
sweur LIose buIIeLs wus mosquILoes."
"WuLcI ouL!" wurned, puIIIng IIm uwuv Irom wIere u mun Iuv
propped uguInsL u posL, LIgILenIng u LournIqueL uround IIs gusIed urm.
ScoIIeId IIusIed IIs IIgIL und Ior u second suw LIe bIuck mun, IIs
Iuce gruv wILI sIock, wuLcIIng LIe jeLLIng puIsIng oI IIs bIood spurLIng
InLo LIe sLreeL. TIen, compeIIed, reucIed down und LwIsLed LIe
LournIqueL, IeeIIng LIe bIood wurm upon mv Iund, seeIng LIe puIsIng
ceuse.
"You done sLopped IL," u voung mun suId, IookIng down.
"Here," suId, "vou Luke IL, IoId IL LIgIL. GeL IIm Lo u docLor."
"AIn'L vou u docLor?"
"Me?" suId. "Me? Are vou cruzv? I vou wunL IIm Lo IIve, geL IIm
uwuv Irom Iere."
"AIberL done gone Ior one," LIe bov suId. "BuL LIougIL vou wus
one. You -"
"No," suId, IookIng uL mv bIoodv Iunds, "no, noL me. You IoId IL
LIgIL unLII LIe docLor comes. couIdn'L cure u IeuducIe."
sLood wIpIng mv Iunds uguInsL LIe brIeI cuse, IookIng down uL
LIe bIg mun, IIs buck resLIng uguInsL LIe posL wILI IIs eves cIosed, LIe
bov IoIdIng desperuLeIv Lo LIe LournIqueL mude oI wIuL Iud been u
brIgIL new LIe.
"Come on," suId.
"Suv," ScoIIeId suId wIen we were pusL, "wusn'L LIuL vou LIuL
womun wus cuIIIng broLIer buck vonder?"
"BroLIer? No, IL musL Iuve been some oLIer guv."
"You know, mun, LIInk seen vou beIore somewIere. You ever
wus In MempIIs . . . ? Suv, Iook wIuL's comIng," Ie suId, poInLIng, und
Iooked LIrougI LIe durk Lo see u squud oI wIILe-IeImeLed poIIcemen
cIurge Iorwurd und breuk Ior sIeILer us u ruIn oI brIcks sIowered down
Irom LIe buIIdIng Lops. Some oI LIe wIILe IeImeLs, rucIng Ior LIe
doorwuvs, Lurned Lo IIre, und Ieurd ScoIIeId grunL und go down und
dropped besIde IIm, seeIng LIe red bursL oI IIre und IeurIng LIe sIrIII
screum, IIke un urcIIng dIve, curvIng Irom ubove Lo end In u cruncIIng
LIud In LIe sLreeL. L wus us LIougI IL Iunded In mv sLomucI, sIckenIng
me, und croucIed, IookIng down pusL ScoIIeId, wIo Iuv jusL uIeud oI
me, Lo see LIe durk crusIed Iorm Irom LIe rooI; und IurLIer uwuv, LIe
bodv oI u cop, IIs IeImeL mukIng u smuII wIILe IumInous mound In LIe
durk.
moved now Lo see wIeLIer ScoIIeId wus IIL, jusL us Ie squIrmed
uround und cursed uL LIe cops wIo were LrvIng Lo rescue LIe one wIo
wus down, IIs voIce IurIous, us Ie sLreLcIed IuII IengLI IIrIng uwuv wILI
u nIckeI-pIuLed pIsLoI IIke LIuL Dupre Iud wuved.
"GIL LIe IeII down, mun," Ie veIIed over IIs sIouIder. " been
wunLIng Lo bIusL 'em u Iong LIme."
"No, noL wILI LIuL LIIng," suId. "eL's geL ouL oI Iere."
"HeII, mun, cun sIooL LIIs LIIng," Ie suId.
roIIed beIInd u pIIe oI buskeLs IIIIed wILI roLLIng cIIckens now,
und Lo mv IeIL, upon LIe IILLered curb, u womun und mun croucIed
beIInd un upLurned deIIverv curL.
"DeIurL," sIe suId, "IeL's geL up on LIe IIII, DeIurL. Up wILI LIe
respecLubIe peopIe!"
"HIII, IeII! We sLuv rIgIL Iere," LIe mun suId. "TIIs LIIng's jusL
sLurLIng. I IL becomes u sIo 'nougI ruce rIoL wunL Lo be Iere wIere
LIere'II be some IIgILIng buck."
TIe words sLruck IIke buIIeLs IIred cIose runge, bIusLIng mv
suLIsIucLIon Lo eurLI. L wus us LIougI LIe uLLered word Iud gIven
meunIng Lo LIe nIgIL, uImosL us LIougI IL Iud creuLed IL, brougIL IL InLo
beIng In LIe InsLunL IIs breuLI vIbruLed smuII uguInsL LIe Ioud, rIoLous
uIr. And In deIInIng, In gIvIng orgunIzuLIon Lo LIe Iurv, IL seemed Lo
spIn me uround, und In mv mInd wus IookIng buckwurd over LIe duvs
sInce CIIILon's deuLI . . . CouId LIIs be LIe unswer, couId LIIs be wIuL
LIe commILLee Iud pIunned, LIe unswer Lo wIv LIev'd surrendered our
InIIuence Lo Rus? SuddenIv Ieurd LIe Iourse expIosIon oI u sIoLgun,
und Iooked pusL ScoIIeId's gIInLIng pIsLoI Lo LIe IuddIed Iorm Irom LIe
rooI. L wus suIcIde, wILIouL guns IL wus suIcIde, und noL even LIe
puwnsIops Iere Iud guns Ior suIe; und veL knew wILI u sIuLLerIng
dreud LIuL LIe uprour wIIcI Ior LIe momenL murked prImurIIv LIe
crusI oI men uguInsL LIIngs-uguInsL sLores, murkeLs-couId swIILIv
become LIe crusI oI men uguInsL men und wILI mosL oI LIe guns und
numbers on LIe oLIer sIde. couId see IL now, see IL cIeurIv und In
growIng mugnILude. L wus noL suIcIde, buL murder. TIe commILLee Iud
pIunned IL. And Iud IeIped, Iud been u LooI. A LooI jusL uL LIe verv
momenL Iud LIougIL mvseII Iree. Bv preLendIng Lo ugree Iud Indeed
ugreed, Iud mude mvseII responsIbIe Ior LIuL IuddIed Iorm IIgILed bv
IIume und gunIIre In LIe sLreeL, und uII LIe oLIers wIom now LIe nIgIL
wus mukIng rIpe Ior deuLI.
TIe brIeI cuse swung Ieuvv uguInsL mv Ieg us run, goIng uwuv,
IeuvIng ScoIIeId cursIng IIs Iuck oI buIIeLs beIInd me, runnIng wIIdIv
und swIngIng LIe brIeI cuse Iurd uguInsL LIe Ieud oI u dog LIuL Ieuped
uL me ouL oI LIe crowd, sendIng IIm veIpIng uwuv. To mv rIgIL Iuv u
quIeL resIdenLIuI sLreeL wILI Lrees, und enLered IL, goIng Lowurd
SevenLI Avenue, Lowurd LIe dIsLrIcL, IIIIed now wILI Iorror und IuLred.
TIev'II puv, LIev'II puv, LIougIL. TIev'II puv!
TIe sLreeL Iuv deud quIeL In LIe IIgIL oI LIe IuLeIv rIsen moon, LIe
gunIIre LIIn und Ior u momenL, dIsLunL. TIe rIoLIng seemed In unoLIer
worId. or u momenL puused beneuLI u Iow, LIIckIv Ieuved Lree,
IookIng down LIe weII-kepL doIIv-sIudowed wuIks pusL LIe sIIenL
Iouses. L wus us LIougI LIe LenunLs Iud vunIsIed, IeuvIng LIe Iouses
sIIenL wILI uII wIndows sIuded, reIugees Irom u rIsIng IIood. TIen
Ieurd LIe sIngIe IooLIuIIs comIng doggedIv Lowurd me In LIe nIgIL, un
eerIe sIuppIng sound IoIIowed bv u precIse und IuIIucInuLed crv -
"TIme's IIvIng
SouIs dvIng
TIe comIng oI LIe ord
DruweLI nIIIIIgI!"
- us LIougI Ie Iud run Ior duvs, Ior veurs. He LroLLed pusL wIere
sLood beneuLI LIe Lree, IIs bure IeeL sIuppIng LIe wuIk In LIe sIIence,
goIng Ior u Iew IeeL und LIen LIe IIgI, IuIIucInuLed crv begInnIng
uguIn.
run InLo LIe uvenue wIere In LIe IIgIL oI u IIumIng IIquor sLore
suw LIree oId women scurrvIng Lowurd me wILI ruIsed skIrLs Iouded
wILI cunned goods.
" cun'L sLop IL jusL veL, buL Iuve mercv, ord," one oI LIem suId.
"Do, Jesus, do, sweeL Jesus . . ."
moved uIeud, LIe Iumes oI uIcoIoI und burnIng Lur In mv
nosLrIIs. Down LIe uvenue Lo mv IeIL u sIngIe sLreeL Iump sLIII gIowed
wIere LIe Iong bIock wus InLersecLed on mv rIgIL bv u sLreeL, und
couId see u crowd rusIIng u sLore LIuL Iuced LIe InLersecLIon, movIng
In, und u IusIIIude oI cunned goods, suIumI, IIverwursL, IogsIeuds und
cIILLerIIngs beIcIIng ouL Lo LIose ouLsIde und u bug oI IIour bursLIng
wIILe upon LIem; us now ouL oI LIe durk oI LIe InLersecLIng sLreeL Lwo
mounLed poIIcemen cume uL u guIIop, IeuvIng Iuge und Ieuvv-Iooved,
cIurgIng sLruIgIL InLo LIe swurmIng muss. And couId see LIe greuL
Iorwurd Iunge oI LIe Iorses und LIe crowd breukIng und roIIIng buck
IIke u wuve, buck, und screumIng und cursIng, und some IuugIIng-
buck und uround und ouL InLo LIe uvenue, sLumbIIng und pusIIng, us
LIe Iorses, Ieuds IIgI und bILs IroLI-IIecked, wenL over LIe curb Lo
Iund sLIII-Iegged und sIIde over LIe cIeured wuIk us upon Ice skuLes und
pusL, currIed bv LIe Iorce oI LIe cIurge, sIdewuvs now, Iegs sLIII, spurks
IIvIng, Lo wIere unoLIer crowd IooLed unoLIer sLore. And mv IeurL
LIgILened us LIe IIrsL crowd swung ImperLurbubIv buck Lo LIeIr IooLIng
wILI derIsIve crIes, IIke sundpIpers swIngIng uround Lo gIeun LIe sIore
uILer u IurIous wuve's recessIon.
CursIng Juck und LIe BroLIerIood moved uround u sLeeI grIII
Lorn Irom LIe IronL oI u puwnsIop, seeIng LIe Lroopers guIIopIng buck
und LIe rIders IIILIng LIe Iorses Lo cIurge uguIn, grIm und skIIIIuI In
wIILe sLeeI IeImeLs, und LIe cIurge begInnIng. TIIs LIme u mun wenL
down und suw u womun swIngIng u gIeumIng IrvIng pun Iurd uguInsL
LIe Iorse's rump und LIe Iorse neIgIIng und begInnIng Lo pIunge.
TIev'II puv, LIougIL, LIev'II puv. TIev cume Lowurd me us run, u
crowd oI men und women currvIng cuses oI beer, cIeese, cIuIns oI
IInked suusuge, wuLermeIons, sucks oI sugur, Iums, cornmeuI, IueI
Iumps. I onIv IL couId sLop rIgIL Iere, Iere; Iere beIore LIe oLIers
cume wILI LIeIr guns. run.
TIere wus no IIrIng. BuL wIen, LIougIL, Iow Iong beIore IL
sLurLs?
"GIL u sIde oI bucon, Joe," u womun cuIIed. "GIL u sIde oI bucon,
Joe, gIL WIIson's."
"ord, ord, ord," u durk voIce cuIIed Irom LIe durk.
wenL on, pIunged In u sense oI puInIuI IsoIuLIon us reucIed
1z=LI SLreeL und sLurLed eusL. A squud oI mounLed poIIce guIIoped pusL.
Men wILI sub-mucIIne guns were guurdIng u bunk und u Iurge jeweIrv
sLore. moved ouL Lo LIe cenLer oI LIe sLreeL, runnIng down LIe LroIIev
ruIIs.
TIe moon wus IIgI now und beIore me LIe sIuLLered gIuss
gIILLered In LIe sLreeL IIke LIe wuLer oI u IIooded rIver upon LIe surIuce
oI wIIcI run us In u dreum, uvoIdIng bv IuLe uIone LIe dIsLorLed
objecLs wusIed uwuv bv LIe IIood. TIen suddenIv seemed Lo sInk,
sucked under: AIeud oI me LIe bodv Iung, wIILe, nuked, und IorrIbIv
IemInIne Irom u IumpposL. IeIL mvseII spIn uround wILI Iorror und IL
wus us LIougI Iud Lurned some nIgILmurIsI somersuuIL. wIIrIed,
sLIII movIng bv reIIex, buck-LruckIng und sLopped und now LIere wus
unoLIer und unoLIer, seven-uII IungIng beIore u guLLed sLoreIronL.
sLumbIed, IeurIng LIe cruckIng oI bones underIooL und suw u
pIvsIcIun's skeIeLon sIuLLered on LIe sLreeL, LIe skuII roIIIng uwuv Irom
LIe buckbone, us sLeudIed Iong enougI Lo noLIce LIe unnuLuruI
sLIIIness oI LIose IungIng ubove me. TIev were munnequIns
-"DummIes!" suId uIoud. HuIrIess, buId und sLerIIeIv IemInIne. And
recuIIed LIe bovs In LIe bIonde wIgs, expecLIng LIe reIIeI oI IuugILer,
buL suddenIv wus more devusLuLed bv LIe Iumor LIun bv LIe Iorror.
BuL ure LIev unreuI, LIougIL; ure LIev? WIuL II one, even one Is reuI-
Is . . . SvbII? Iugged mv brIeI cuse, buckIng uwuv, und run . . .
THEY moved In u LIgIL-knIL order, currvIng sLIcks und cIubs,
sIoLguns und rIIIes, Ied bv Rus LIe ExIorLer become Rus LIe DesLrover
upon u greuL bIuck Iorse. A new Rus oI u IuugILv, vuIgur dIgnILv,
dressed In LIe cosLume oI un AbvssInIun cIIeILuIn; u Iur cup upon IIs
Ieud, IIs urm beurIng u sIIeId, u cupe mude oI LIe skIn oI some wIId
unImuI uround IIs sIouIders. A IIgure more ouL oI u dreum LIun ouL oI
HurIem, LIun ouL oI even LIIs HurIem nIgIL, veL reuI, uIIve, uIurmIng.
"Come uwuv Irom LIuL sLupId IooLIng," Ie cuIIed Lo u group beIore
u sLore. "Come jIne wILI us Lo bursL In LIe urmorv und geL guns und
ummunILIon!"
And IeurIng IIs voIce opened mv brIeI cuse und seurcIed Ior mv
durk gIusses, mv RIneIurLs, druwIng LIem ouL onIv Lo see LIe crusIed
Ienses IuII Lo LIe sLreeL. RIneIurL, LIougIL, RIneIurL! Lurned. TIe
poIIce were buck LIere beIInd me; II sIooLIng sLurLed 'd be cuugIL In
LIe crossIIre. IeIL In mv brIeI cuse, IeeIIng pupers, sIuLLered Iron,
coIns, mv IIngers cIosIng over Turp's Ieg cIuIn, und sIIpped IL over mv
knuckIes, LrvIng Lo LIInk. cIosed LIe IIup, IockIng IL. A new mood wus
seLLIIng over me us LIev cume on, u Iurger crowd LIun Rus Iud ever
druwn. wenL cuImIv Iorwurd, IoIdIng LIe Ieuvv cuse buL movIng wILI
u cerLuIn new sense oI seII, und wILI IL u IeeIIng uImosL oI reIIeI, uImosL
oI u sIgI. knew suddenIv wIuL Iud Lo do, knew IL even beIore IL
sIuped ILseII compIeLeIv In mv mInd.
Someone cuIIed, "ook!" und Rus benL down Irom LIe Iorse, suw
me und IIung, oI uII LIIngs, u speur, und IeII Iorwurd uL LIe movemenL
oI IIs urm, cuLcIIng mvseII upon mv Iunds us u LumbIer wouId, und
Ieurd LIe sIock oI IL pIercIng one oI LIe IungIng dummIes. sLood, mv
brIeI cuse comIng wILI me.
"BeLruver!" Rus sIouLed.
"L's LIe broLIer," someone suId. TIev moved up uround LIe Iorse
excILed und noL quILe decIded, und Iuced IIm, knowIng wus no worse
LIun Ie, nor unv beLLer, und LIuL uII LIe monLIs oI IIIusIon und LIe
nIgIL oI cIuos requIred buL u Iew sImpIe words, u mIId, even u meek,
muLed ucLIon Lo cIeur LIe uIr. To uwuken LIem und me.
" um no Ionger LIeIr broLIer," sIouLed. "TIev wunL u ruce rIoL
und um uguInsL IL. TIe more oI us wIo ure kIIIed, LIe beLLer LIev IIke
-"
"gnore IIs IvIng Longue," Rus sIouLed. "Hung IIm up Lo LeucI LIe
bIuck peopIe u Iesson, und LIeer be no more LruILors. No more UncIe
Toms. Hung IIm up LIeer wILI LIem bIuIsLed dummIes!"
"BuL unvone cun see IL," sIouLed. "L's Lrue, wus beLruved bv
LIose wIo LIougIL were our IrIends-buL LIev counLed on LIIs mun,
Loo. TIev needed LIIs desLrover Lo do LIeIr work. TIev deserLed vou so
LIuL In vour despuIr vou'd IoIIow LIIs mun Lo vour desLrucLIon. Cun'L
vou see IL? TIev wunL vou guIILv oI vour own murder, vour own
sucrIIIce!"
"Grub IIm!" Rus sIouLed.
TIree men sLepped Iorwurd und reucIed up wILIouL LIInkIng,
ucLuuIIv u desperuLe oruLorIcuI gesLure oI dIsugreemenL und deIIunce, us
sIouLed, "No!" BuL mv Iund sLruck LIe speur und wrencIed IL Iree,
grIppIng IL mId-sIuIL, poInL Iorwurd. "TIev wunL LIIs Lo Iuppen," suId.
"TIev pIunned IL. TIev wunL LIe mobs Lo come upLown wILI mucIIne
guns und rIIIes. TIev wunL LIe sLreeLs Lo IIow wILI bIood; vour bIood,
bIuck bIood und wIILe bIood, so LIuL LIev cun Lurn vour deuLI und
sorrow und deIeuL InLo propugundu. L's sImpIe, vou've known IL u Iong
LIme. L goes, 'Use u nIgger Lo cuLcI u nIgger.' WeII, LIev used me Lo
cuLcI vou und now LIev're usIng Rus Lo do uwuv wILI me und Lo prepure
vour sucrIIIce. Don'L vou see IL? sn'L IL cIeur . . . ?"
"Hung LIe IvIng LruILor," Rus sIouLed. "WIuL ure vou wuILIng Ior?"
suw u group oI men sLurL Iorwurd.
"WuIL," suId. "TIen kIII me Ior mvseII, Ior mv own mIsLuke, LIen
Ieuve IL LIere. Don'L kIII me Ior LIose wIo ure downLown IuugIIng uL LIe
LrIck LIev pIuved -"
BuL even us spoke knew IL wus no good. Iud no words und no
eIoquence, und wIen Rus LIundered, "Hung IIm!" sLood LIere IucIng
LIem, und IL seemed unreuI. Iuced LIem knowIng LIuL LIe mudmun In
u IoreIgn cosLume wus reuI und veL unreuI, knowIng LIuL Ie wunLed mv
IIIe, LIuL Ie IeId me responsIbIe Ior uII LIe nIgILs und duvs und uII LIe
suIIerIng und Ior uII LIuL wIIcI wus IncupubIe oI conLroIIIng, und no
Iero, buL sIorL und durk wILI onIv u cerLuIn eIoquence und u
boLLomIess cupucILv Ior beIng u IooI Lo murk me Irom LIe resL; suw
LIem, recognIzed LIem uL IusL us LIose wIom Iud IuIIed und oI wIom
wus now, jusL now, u Ieuder, LIougI IeudIng LIem, runnIng uIeud oI
LIem, onIv In LIe sLrIppIng uwuv oI mv IIIusIonmenL.
Iooked uL Rus on IIs Iorse und uL LIeIr IundIuI oI guns und
recognIzed LIe ubsurdILv oI LIe wIoIe nIgIL und oI LIe sImpIe veL
conIoundIngIv compIex urrungemenL oI Iope und desIre, Ieur und IuLe,
LIuL Iud brougIL me Iere sLIII runnIng, und knowIng now wIo wus
und wIere wus und knowIng Loo LIuL Iud no Ionger Lo run Ior or
Irom LIe Jucks und LIe Emersons und LIe BIedsoes und NorLons, buL
onIv Irom LIeIr conIusIon, ImpuLIence, und reIusuI Lo recognIze LIe
beuuLIIuI ubsurdILv oI LIeIr AmerIcun IdenLILv und mIne. sLood LIere,
knowIng LIuL bv dvIng, LIuL bv beIng Iunged bv Rus on LIIs sLreeL In
LIIs desLrucLIve nIgIL wouId perIups move LIem one IrucLIon oI u
bIoodv sLep cIoser Lo u deIInILIon oI wIo LIev were und oI wIuL wus
und Iud been. BuL LIe deIInILIon wouId Iuve been Loo nurrow; wus
InvIsIbIe, und IungIng wouId noL brIng me Lo vIsIbIIILv, even Lo LIeIr
eves, sInce LIev wunLed mv deuLI noL Ior mvseII uIone buL Ior LIe cIuse
'd been on uII mv IIIe; becuuse oI LIe wuv 'd run, been run, cIused,
operuLed, purged-uILIougI Lo u greuL exLenL couId Iuve done noLIIng
eIse, gIven LIeIr bIIndness (dIdn'L LIev LoIeruLe boLI RIneIurL und
BIedsoe?) und mv InvIsIbIIILv. And LIuL , u IILLIe bIuck mun wILI un
ussumed nume sIouId dIe becuuse u bIg bIuck mun In IIs IuLred und
conIusIon over LIe nuLure oI u reuIILv LIuL seemed conLroIIed soIeIv bv
wIILe men wIom knew Lo be us bIInd us Ie, wus jusL Loo mucI, Loo
ouLrugeousIv ubsurd. And knew LIuL IL wus beLLer Lo IIve ouL one's own
ubsurdILv LIun Lo dIe Ior LIuL oI oLIers, wIeLIer Ior Rus's or Juck's.
So wIen Rus veIIed, "Hung IIm!" IeL IIv LIe speur und IL wus us
LIougI Ior u momenL Iud surrendered mv IIIe und begun Lo IIve
uguIn, wuLcIIng IL cuLcI IIm us Ie Lurned IIs Ieud Lo sIouL, rIppIng
LIrougI boLI cIeeks, und suw LIe surprIsed puuse oI LIe crowd us Rus
wresLIed wILI LIe speur LIuL Iocked IIs juws. Some oI LIe men ruIsed
LIeIr guns, buL LIev were Loo cIose Lo sIooL und IIL LIe IIrsL wILI
Turp's Ieg cIuIn und LIe oLIer In LIe mIddIe wILI mv brIeI cuse, LIen
run LIrougI u IooLed sLore, IeurIng LIe bIungIng oI LIe burgIur uIurm us
scrumbIed over scuLLered sIoes, upLurned sIowcuses, cIuIrs-buck Lo
wIere suw LIe moonIIgIL LIrougI LIe reur door uIeud. TIev cume
beIInd me IIke u druIL oI IIumes und Ied LIem LIrougI und uround Lo
LIe uvenue, und II LIev'd IIred LIev couId Iuve Iud me, buL IL wus
ImporLunL Lo LIem LIuL LIev Iung me, IvncI me even, sInce LIuL wus LIe
wuv LIev run, Iud been LuugIL Lo run. sIouId dIe bv IungIng uIone, us
LIougI onIv IungIng wouId seLLIe LIIngs, even LIe score. So run
expecLIng deuLI beLween LIe sIouIder bIudes or LIrougI LIe buck oI mv
Ieud, und us run wus LrvIng Lo geL Lo Murv's. L wus noL u decIsIon oI
LIougIL buL someLIIng reuIIzed suddenIv wIIIe runnIng over puddIes
oI mIIk In LIe bIuck sLreeL, sLoppIng Lo swIng LIe Ieuvv brIeI cuse und
LIe Ieg cIuIn, sIIppIng und sIIdIng ouL oI LIeIr Iunds.
I onIv couId Lurn uround und drop mv urms und suv, "ook,
men, gIve me u breuk, we're uII bIuck IoIks LogeLIer . . . Nobodv cures."
TIougI now knew we cured, LIev uL IusL cured enougI Lo ucL-so
LIougIL. I onIv couId suv, "ook, LIev've pIuved u LrIck on us, LIe
sume oId LrIck wILI new vurIuLIons-IeL's sLop runnIng und respecL und
Iove one unoLIer . . ." I onIv- LIougIL, runnIng InLo unoLIer crowd
now und LIInkIng 'd goLLen uwuv, onIv Lo cuLcI u puncI on mv juw us
one cIosed In sIouLIng, und IeeIIng LIe Ieg cIuIn bounce us cuugIL IIs
Ieud und spurLed Iorwurd, LurnIng ouL oI LIe uvenue onIv Lo be sLruck
bv u spruv oI wuLer LIuL seemed Lo descend Irom ubove. L wus u muIn
LIuL Iud bursL, LIrowIng u IIerce curLuIn oI spruv InLo LIe nIgIL. wus
goIng Ior Murv's buL wus movIng downLown LIrougI LIe drIppIng
sLreeL ruLIer LIun up, und, us sLurLed LIrougI, u mounLed poIIcemun
cIurged LIrougI LIe spruv, LIe Iorse bIuck und drIppIng, cIurgIng
LIrougI und IoomIng Iuge und unreuI, neIgIIng und cIoppIng ucross
LIe puvemenL upon me now us sIIpped Lo mv knees und suw LIe Iuge
puIsIng buIk IIouLIng down upon und over me, LIe sound oI Iooves und
screums und u rusI oI wuLer comIng LIrougI dIsLunLIv us LIougI suL
remoLe In u pudded room, LIen over, uImosL pusL, LIe IuIr oI LIe LuII u
IIerv IusI ucross mv eves. sLumbIed ubouL In cIrcIes, bIIndIv swIngIng
LIe brIeI cuse, LIe Imuge oI u IIerv comeL's LuII burnIng mv smurLIng
IIds; LurnIng und swIngIng bIIndIv wILI brIeI cuse und Ieg cIuIn und
IeurIng LIe guIIop begIn us IIoundered IeIpIessIv; und now movIng
sLruIgIL InLo LIe IuII, nuked Iorce oI LIe wuLer, IeeIIng ILs power IIke u
bIow, weL und LIuddIng und coId, LIen LIrougI IL und ubIe purLIv Lo see
jusL us unoLIer Iorse dusIed up und LIrougI, u IunLer LukIng u burrIer,
LIe rIder sIunLIng buckwurd, LIe Iorse rIsIng, LIen IIL und swuIIowed
bv LIe rIsIng spruv. sLumbIed down LIe sLreeL, LIe comeL LuII In mv
eves, seeIng u IILLIe beLLer now und IookIng buck Lo see LIe wuLer
spruvIng IIke u mud gevser In LIe moonIIgIL. To Murv, LIougIL, Lo
Murv.
THERE were rows oI Iron Iences bucked bv Iow Iedges beIore LIe
Iouses und sLumbIed beIInd LIem und Iuv punLIng Lo resL Irom LIe
crusIIng Iorce oI LIe wuLer. BuL IurdIv Iud seLLIed down, LIe drv,
dog-duv smeII oI LIe Iedge In mv nose, wIen LIev sLopped beIore LIe
Iouse, IeunIng upon LIe Ience. TIev were pussIng u boLLIe uround und
LIeIr voIces sounded spenL oI sLrong emoLIon.
"TIIs Is some nIgIL," one oI LIem suId. "AIn'L LIIs some nIgIL?"
"L's 'bouL IIke LIe resL."
"WIv vou suv LIuL?"
" 'Cuuse IL's IuIIu IuckIng und IIgILIng und drInkIng und IvIng-
gImme LIuL boLLIe."
"YeuI, buL LonIgIL seen some LIIngs never seen beIore."
"You LIInk vou seen someLIIng? HeII, vou ougIL Lo been over on
enox ubouL Lwo Iours ugo. You know LIuL sLud Rus LIe DesLrover?
WeII, mun, Ie wus spILLIng bIood."
"TIuL cruzv guv?"
"HeII, ves, mun, Ie Iud IIm u bIg bIuck Ioss und u Iur cup und
some kInd oI oId IIon skIn or someLIIng over IIs sIouIders und Ie wus
ruIsIng IeII. Goddum II Ie wusn'L u sIgIL, rIdIng up und down on LIIs
oIe Ioss, vou know, one oI LIe kInd LIuL puIIs vegeLubIe wugons, und Ie
goL IIm u cowbov suddIe und some bIg spurs."
"Aw nuw, mun!"
"HeII, ves! RIdIng up und down LIe bIock veIIIng, 'DesLrov 'em!
DrIve 'em ouL! Burn 'em ouL! , Rus, communds vou.' You geL LIuL,
mun," Ie suId, " ', Rus, communds vou-Lo desLrov LIem Lo LIe IusL
pIece oI roLLen IIsI!' And 'bouL LIuL LIme some joker wILI u bIg oIe
GeorgIu voIce sLIcks IIs Ieud ouL LIe wIndow und veIIs, 'RIde 'em,
cowbov. GIve 'em IeII und bununus.' And mun, LIuL cruzv sonoIubILcI
up LIere on LIuL Ioss IookIng IIke deuLI euLIng u sundwIcI, Ie reucIes
down und comes up wILI u IorLv-IIve und sLurLs bIuzIng up uL LIuL
wIndow-And mun, LuIk ubouL cuLLIng ouL! n u second wusn'L nobodv
IeIL buL oIe Rus up LIere on LIuL Ioss wILI LIuL IIon skIn sLreLcIed
sLruIgIL ouL beIInd IIm. Cruzv, mun. Evervbodv eIse LrvIng Lo gIL some
IooL und IIm und IIs bovs ouL Ior bIood!"
Iuv IIke u mun rescued Irom drownIng, IIsLenIng, sLIII noL sure
wus uIIve.
" wus over LIere," unoLIer voIce suId. "You see IIm wIen LIe
mounLed poIIce goL uILer IIs uss?"
"HeII, nuw . . . Here, Luke u II'I LusLe."
"WeII LIuL's wIen vou sIouIdu seen IIm. WIen Ie seen LIem cops
rIdIng up Ie reucIed buck oI IIs suddIe und come up wILI some kInd oI
oId sIIeId."
"A sIIeId?"
"HeII, ves! One wILI u spIke In LIe mIddIe oI IL. And LIuL uIn'L uII;
wIen Ie sees LIe cops Ie cuIIs Lo one oI IIs goddum IencImens Lo
Iund IIm up u speur, und u IILLIe sIorL guv run ouL InLo LIe sLreeL und
gIve IIm one. You know, one oI LIe kInd vou see LIem AIrIcun guvs
currvIng In LIe movIng pIcLures . . ."
"WIere LIe IeII wus vou, mun?"
"Me? 'm over on LIe sIde wIere some sLud done broke In u sLore
und Is seIIIng coId beer ouL LIe wIndow-Done gone InLo busIness,
mun," LIe voIce IuugIed. " wus drInkIng me some BudweIser und
dIggIng LIe doIngs-wIen Iere comes LIe cops up LIe sLreeL, rIdIng IIke
cowbovs, mun; und wIen oIe Rus-LIe-wIuL's-IIs-nume sees 'em Ie IeLs
ouL u rour IIke u IIon und reurs wuv buck und sLurLs sIooLIng spurs InLo
LIuL boss's uss IusL us nIckeIs IuIIIng In LIe subwuv uL goIng-Iome LIme
-und guuwd-dum! LIuL's wIen vou ougIL Lo seen IIm! Suv, gImme u
LusLe LIere, IeIIu.
"TIunks. Here Ie comes bookeLv-bookeLv wILI LIuL speur sLuck
ouL In IronL oI IIm und LIuL sIIeId on IIs urm, cIurgIng, mun. And Ie's
veIIIng someLIIng In AIrIcun or WesL ndIun or someLIIng und Ie's goL
IIs Ieud down Iow IIke Ie knew ubouL LIuL sIIL Loo, mun; rIdIng IIke
EurIe Sunde In LIe IIILI uL JumuIcu. TIuL oIe bIuck Ioss IeL ouL u wIInnv
und goL IIs Ieud down- don'L know wIere Ie goL LIuL sonoIubILcI-
buL, genLIemens, sweur! WIen Ie IeIL LIuL sLeeI In IIs IIgI beIInd Ie
cume on IIke Mun o' Wur goIng Lo geL IIs usIes IuuIed! BeIore LIe cops
knowed wIuL IIL 'em Rus Is rIgIL In LIe mIddIe oI 'em und one cop
grubbed Ior LIuL speur, und oIe Rus swung 'round und busL IIm ucross
LIe Ieud und LIe cop goes down und IIs Ioss reurs up, und oIe Rus LrIes
IIs und LrIes Lo speur IIm unoLIer cop, und LIe oLIer Iosses Is pIungIng
uround und oIe Rus LrIes Lo speur IIm sLIII unoLIer cop, onIv Ie's Loo
cIose und LIe Ioss Is pooIIng und snorLIng und pIssIng und sIILLIng, und
LIev swIngs uround und LIe cop Is swIngIng IIs pIsLoI und everv LIme Ie
swIngs oIe Rus LIrows up IIs sIIeId wILI one urm und cIops uL IIm
wILI LIe speur wILI LIe oLIer, und mun, vou couId Ieur LIuL gun
sLrIkIng LIuL oIe sIIeId IIke somebodv droppIng LIre Irons ouL u LweIve-
sLorv wIndow. And vou know wIuL, wIen oIe Rus suw Ie wus Loo cIose
Lo speur IIm u cop Ie wIeeIed LIuL Ioss uround und rode oII u bIL und
dId IIm u quIck round-ubouL Iuce und cIurged 'em uguIn-ouL Ior
bIood, mun! OnIv LIIs LIme LIe cops goL LIred oI LIuL buIIsIIL und one oI
'em sLurLed sIooLIng. And LIuL wus LIe IIck! OIe Rus dIdn'L Iuve LIme Lo
gIL IIs gun so Ie IeL IIv wILI LIuL speur und vou couId Ieur IIm grunL
und suv someLIIng 'bouL LIuL cop's kIn-IoIks und LIen IIm und LIuL
Ioss sIoL up LIe sLreeL IeupIng IIke HeIgIo, LIe goddum SIIver!"
"Mun, wIere'd vou come Irom?"
"L's LIe LruLI, mun, Iere's mv rIgIL Iund."
TIev were IuugIIng ouLsIde LIe Iedge und IeuvIng und Iuv In u
crump, wunLIng Lo IuugI und veL knowIng LIuL Rus wus noL Iunnv, or
noL onIv Iunnv, buL dungerous us weII, wrong buL jusLIIIed, cruzv und
veL coIdIv sune . . . WIv dId LIev muke IL seem Iunnv, onIv Iunnv?
LIougIL. And veL knowIng LIuL IL wus. L wus Iunnv und dungerous und
sud. Juck Iud seen IL, or Iud sLumbIed upon IL und used IL Lo prepure u
sucrIIIce. And Iud been used us u LooI. Mv grundIuLIer Iud been
wrong ubouL vessIng LIem Lo deuLI und desLrucLIon or eIse LIIngs Iud
cIunged Loo mucI sInce IIs duv.
TIere wus onIv one wuv Lo desLrov LIem. goL up Irom beIInd LIe
Iedge In LIe wunIng moon, weL und sIuken In LIe IoL uIr und sLurLed
ouL IookIng Ior Juck, sLIII Lurned uround In mv dIrecLIon. moved InLo
LIe sLreeL, IIsLenIng Lo LIe dIsLunL sounds oI LIe rIoL und seeIng In mv
mInd LIe Imuge oI Lwo eves In LIe boLLom oI u sIuLLered gIuss.
kepL Lo LIe durker sIde oI sLreeLs und Lo LIe sIIenL ureus, LIInkIng
LIuL II Ie wIsIed reuIIv Lo IIde IIs sLruLegv Ie'd uppeur In LIe dIsLrIcL,
wILI u sound Lruck perIups, pIuvIng LIe IrIendIv udvIser wILI
WresLrum und TobILL besIde IIm.
TIev were In cIvIIIun cIoLIes, und LIougIL, Cops-unLII suw LIe
busebuII buL und sLurLed Lo Lurn, IeurIng, "Hev, vou!"
IesILuLed.
"WIuL's In LIuL brIeI cuse?" LIev suId, und II LIev'd usked me
unvLIIng eIse mIgIL Iuve sLood sLIII. BuL uL LIe quesLIon u wuve oI
sIume und ouLruge sIook me und run, sLIII IeudIng Ior Juck. BuL wus
In sLrunge LerrILorv now und someone, Ior some reuson, Iud removed
LIe munIoIe cover und IeIL mvseII pIunge down, down; u Iong drop
LIuL ended upon u Ioud oI couI LIuL senL up u cIoud oI dusL, und Iuv In
LIe bIuck durk upon LIe bIuck couI no Ionger runnIng, IIdIng or
concerned, IeurIng LIe sIIILIng oI LIe couI, us Irom somewIere ubove
LIeIr voIces cume IIouLIng down.
"You see LIe wuv Ie wenL down, zoom! wus jusL IIxIng Lo sIug LIe
busLurd."
"You IIL IIm?"
" don'L know."
"Suv, Joe, vou LIInk LIe busLurd's deud?"
"Muvbe. He sure Is In LIe durk LIougI. You cun'L even see IIs
eves."
"NIgger In LIe couI pIIe, eI, Joe?"
Someone IoIIered down LIe IoIe, "Hev, bIuck bov. Come on ouL.
We wunL Lo see wIuL's In LIuL brIeI cuse."
"Come down und geL me," suId.
"WIuL's In LIuL brIeI cuse?"
"You," suId, suddenIv IuugIIng. "WIuL do vou LIInk oI LIuL?"
"Me?"
"AII oI vou," suId.
"You're cruzv," Ie suId.
"BuL sLIII Iuve vou In LIIs brIeI cuse!"
"WIuL'd vou sLeuI?"
"Cun'L vou see?" suId. "IgIL u muLcI."
"WIuL LIe IeII's Ie LuIkIng ubouL, Joe?"
"SLrIke u muLcI, LIe boogv's nuLs."
HIgI ubove suw LIe smuII IIume spuLLer InLo IIgIL. TIev sLood
Ieuds down, us In pruver, unubIe Lo see me buck In LIe couI.
"Come on down," suId. "HuI Hu! 've Iud vou In mv brIeI cuse uII
LIe LIme und vou dIdn'L know me LIen und cun'L see me now."
"You sonoIubILcI!" one oI LIem cuIIed, ouLruged. TIen LIe muLcI
wenL ouL und Ieurd someLIIng IuII soILIv upon LIe couI neur bv. TIev
were LuIkIng ubove.
"You goddum bIuck nIgger sonoIubILcI," someone cuIIed, "see Iow
vou IIke LIIs," und Ieurd LIe cover seLLIe over LIe munIoIe wILI u duII
cIung. Ine bILs oI dIrL sIowered down us LIev sLumped upon LIe IId
und Ior u momenL senL couI sIIdIng In wIId surprIse, IookIng up, up
LIrougI bIuck spuce Lo wIere Ior u second LIe dIm IIgIL oI u muLcI
sunk LIrougI u cIrcIe oI IoIes In LIe sLeeI. TIen LIougIL, TIIs Is LIe
wuv IL's uIwuvs been, onIv now know IL-und resLed buck, cuIm now,
pIucIng LIe brIeI cuse beneuLI mv Ieud. couId open IL In LIe mornIng,
pusI oII LIe IId. Now wus LIred, Loo LIred; mv mInd reLreuLIng, LIe
Imuge oI LIe Lwo gIuss eves runnIng LogeLIer IIke bIobs oI meILIng Ieud.
Here IL wus us LIougI LIe rIoL wus gone und IeIL LIe Lug oI sIeep,
seemed Lo move ouL upon bIuck wuLer.
L's u kInd oI deuLI wILIouL IungIng, LIougIL, u deuLI uIIve. n
LIe mornIng 'II remove LIe IId . . . Murv, sIouId Iuve gone Lo Murv's.
wouId go now Lo Murv's In LIe onIv wuv LIuL couId . . . moved oII
over LIe bIuck wuLer, IIouLIng, sIgIIng . . . sIeepIng InvIsIbIv.
BUT wus never Lo reucI Murv's, und wus over-opLImIsLIc ubouL
removIng LIe sLeeI cup In LIe mornIng. GreuL InvIsIbIe wuves oI LIme
IIowed over me, buL LIuL mornIng never cume. TIere wus no mornIng
nor IIgIL oI unv kInd Lo uwuken me und sIepL on und on unLII IInuIIv
wus uroused bv Iunger. TIen wus up In LIe durk und bIunderIng
uround, IeeIIng rougI wuIIs und LIe couI gIvIng wuv beneuLI eucI sLep
IIke LreucIerous sund. LrIed Lo reucI ubove me buL Iound onIv spuce,
unbroken und ImpeneLrubIe. TIen LrIed Lo IInd LIe usuuI Iudder LIuL
Ieuds ouL oI sucI IoIes, buL LIere wus none. Iud Lo Iuve u IIgIL, und
now on Iunds und knees, IoIdIng LIgIL Lo mv brIeI cuse, seurcIed LIe
couI unLII Iound LIe IoIder oI muLcIes LIe men Iud dropped-Iow
Iong ugo Iud LIuL been?-buL LIere were onIv LIree und Lo suve LIem
sLurLed seurcIIng Ior puper Lo muke u LorcI, IeeIIng ubouL sIowIv over
LIe couI pIIe. needed jusL one pIece oI puper Lo IIgIL mv wuv ouL oI LIe
IoIe, buL LIere wus noLIIng. NexL seurcIed mv pockeLs, IIndIng noL
even u bIII, or un udverLIsIng IoIder, or u BroLIerIood IeuIIeL. WIv Iud
desLroved RIneIurL's LIrowuwuv? WeII, LIere wus onIv one LIIng Lo do
II wus Lo muke u LorcI. 'd Iuve Lo open mv brIeI cuse. n IL were LIe
onIv pupers Iud.
sLurLed wILI mv IIgI-scIooI dIpIomu, uppIvIng one precIous
muLcI wILI u IeeIIng oI remoLe Ironv, even smIIIng us suw LIe swIIL
buL IeebIe IIgIL pusI buck LIe gIoom. wus In u deep busemenL, IuII oI
sIupeIess objecLs LIuL exLended IurLIer LIun couId see, und reuIIzed
LIuL Lo IIgIL mv wuv ouL wouId Iuve Lo burn everv puper In LIe brIeI
cuse. moved sIowIv oII, Lowurd LIe durker bIuckness, IIgILIng mv wuv
bv LIese IeebIe LorcIes. TIe nexL Lo go wus CIIILon's doII, buL IL burned
so sLubbornIv LIuL reucIed InsIde LIe cuse Ior someLIIng eIse. TIen bv
LIe IIgIL oI LIe smoke-spuLLerIng doII opened u IoIded puge. L wus LIe
unonvmous IeLLer, wIIcI burned so quIckIv LIuL us IL IIumed IurrIedIv
unIoIded unoLIer: L wus LIuL sIIp upon wIIcI Juck Iud wrILLen mv
BroLIerIood nume. couId sLIII smeII Emmu's perIume even In LIe
dumpness oI LIe ceIIur. And now seeIng LIe IundwrILIng oI LIe Lwo In
LIe consumIng IIumes burned mv Iund und sIIpped Lo mv knees,
sLurIng. TIe IundwrILIng wus LIe sume. kneIL LIere, sLunned,
wuLcIIng LIe IIumes consume LIem. TIuL Ie, or unvone uL LIuL IuLe
duLe, couId Iuve numed me und seL me runnIng wILI one und LIe sume
sLroke oI LIe pen wus Loo mucI. SuddenIv begun Lo screum, geLLIng up
In LIe durkness und pIungIng wIIdIv ubouL, bumpIng uguInsL wuIIs,
scuLLerIng couI, und In mv unger exLInguIsIIng mv IeebIe IIgIL.
BuL sLIII wIIrIIng on In LIe bIuckness, knockIng uguInsL LIe rougI
wuIIs oI u nurrow pussuge, bungIng mv Ieud und cursIng, sLumbIed
down und pIunged uguInsL some kInd oI purLILIon und suIIed IeudIong,
cougIIng und sneezIng, InLo unoLIer dImensIonIess room, wIere
conLInued Lo roII ubouL LIe IIoor In mv ouLruge. How Iong LIIs kepL up,
do noL know. L mIgIL Iuve been duvs, weeks; IosL uII sense oI LIme.
And evervLIme puused Lo resL, LIe ouLruge revIved und wenL oII
uguIn. TIen, IInuIIv, wIen couId bureIv move, someLIIng seemed Lo
suv, "TIuL's enougI, don'L kIII vourseII. You've run enougI, vou're
LIrougI wILI LIem uL IusL," und coIIupsed, Iuce Iorwurd und Iuv LIere
bevond LIe poInL oI exIuusLIon, Loo LIred Lo cIose mv eves. L wus u
sLuLe neILIer oI dreumIng nor oI wukIng, buL somewIere In beLween, In
wIIcI wus cuugIL IIke TruebIood's juvbIrd LIuL veIIow juckeLs Iud
puruIvzed In everv purL buL IIs eves.
BuL someIow LIe IIoor Iud now Lurned Lo sund und LIe durkness
Lo IIgIL, und Iuv LIe prIsoner oI u group consIsLIng oI Juck und oId
Emerson und BIedsoe und NorLon und Rus und LIe scIooI
superInLendenL und u number oI oLIers wIom IuIIed Lo recognIze, buL
uII oI wIom Iud run me, wIo now pressed uround me us Iuv besIde u
rIver oI bIuck wuLer, neur wIere un urmored brIdge urcIed sIurpIv
uwuv Lo wIere couId noL see. And wus proLesLIng LIeIr IoIdIng me
und LIev were demundIng LIuL reLurn Lo LIem und were unnoved wILI
mv reIusuI.
"No," suId. "'m LIrougI wILI uII vour IIIusIons und IIes, 'm
LIrougI runnIng."
"NoL quILe," Juck suId ubove LIe oLIers' ungrv demunds, "buL vou
soon wIII be, unIess vou reLurn. ReIuse und we'II Iree vou oI vour
IIIusIons uII rIgIL."
"No, LIunk vou; 'II Iree mvseII," suId, sLruggIIng Lo rIse Irom LIe
cuLLIng sund.
BuL now LIev cume Iorwurd wILI u knIIe, IoIdIng me; und IeIL LIe
brIgIL red puIn und LIev Look LIe Lwo bIoodv bIobs und cusL LIem over
LIe brIdge, und ouL oI mv unguIsI suw LIem curve up und cuLcI
beneuLI LIe upex oI LIe curvIng urcI oI LIe brIdge, Lo Iung LIere,
drIppIng down LIrougI LIe sunIIgIL InLo LIe durk red wuLer. And wIIIe
LIe oLIers IuugIed, beIore mv puIn-sIurpened eves LIe wIoIe worId
wus sIowIv LurnIng red.
"Now vou're Iree oI IIIusIons," Juck suId, poInLIng Lo mv seed
wusLIng upon LIe uIr. "How does IL IeeI Lo be Iree oI one's IIIusIons?"
And Iooked up LIrougI u puIn so InLense now LIuL LIe uIr seemed
Lo rour wILI LIe cIungIng oI meLuI, IeurIng, HOW DOES T EE TO
BE REE O USON . . .
And now unswered, "PuInIuI und empLv," us suw u gIILLerIng
buLLerIIv cIrcIe LIree LImes uround mv bIood-red purLs, up LIere
beneuLI LIe brIdge's IIgI urcI. "BuL Iook," suId poInLIng. And LIev
Iooked und IuugIed, und suddenIv seeIng LIeIr suLIsIIed Iuces und
undersLundIng, guve u BIedsoe IuugI, sLurLIIng LIem. And Juck cume
Iorwurd, curIous.
"WIv do vou IuugI?" Ie suId.
"Becuuse uL u prIce now see LIuL wIIcI couIdn'L see," suId.
"WIuL does Ie LIInk Ie sees?" LIev suId.
And Juck cume cIoser, LIreuLenIng, und IuugIed. "'m noL uIruId
now," suId. "BuL II vou'II Iook, vou'II see . . . L's noL InvIsIbIe . . ."
"See wIuL?" LIev suId.
"TIuL LIere Iung noL onIv mv generuLIons wusLIng upon LIe wuLer
-" And now LIe puIn weIIed up und couId no Ionger see LIem.
"BuL wIuL? Go on," LIev suId.
"BuL vour sun . . ."
"Yes?"
"And vour moon . . ."
"He's cruzv!"
"Your worId . . ."
" knew Ie wus u mvsLIc IdeuIIsL!" TobILL suId.
"SLIII," suId, "LIere's vour unIverse, und LIuL drIp-drop upon LIe
wuLer vou Ieur Is uII LIe IIsLorv vou've mude, uII vou're goIng Lo muke.
Now IuugI, vou scIenLIsLs. eL's Ieur vou IuugI!"
And IIgI ubove me now LIe brIdge seemed Lo move oII Lo wIere
couId noL see, sLrIdIng IIke u roboL, un Iron mun, wIose Iron Iegs
cIunged doomIuIIv us IL moved. And LIen sLruggIed up, IuII oI sorrow
und puIn, sIouLIng, "No, no, we musL sLop IIm!"
And uwoke In LIe bIuckness.
uIIv uwuke now, sImpIv Iuv LIere us LIougI puruIvzed. couId
LIInk oI noLIIng eIse Lo do. uLer wouId Lrv Lo IInd mv wuv ouL, buL
now couId onIv IIe on LIe IIoor, reIIvIng LIe dreum. AII LIeIr Iuces
were so vIvId LIuL LIev seemed Lo sLund beIore me beneuLI u spoLIIgIL.
TIev were uII up LIere somewIere, mukIng u mess oI LIe worId. WeII,
IeL LIem. wus LIrougI und, In spILe oI LIe dreum, wus wIoIe.
And now reuIIzed LIuL couIdn'L reLurn Lo Murv's, or Lo unv purL
oI mv oId IIIe. couId upproucI IL onIv Irom LIe ouLsIde, und Iud been
us InvIsIbIe Lo Murv us Iud been Lo LIe BroLIerIood. No, couIdn'L
reLurn Lo Murv's, or Lo LIe cumpus, or Lo LIe BroLIerIood, or Iome.
couId onIv move uIeud or sLuv Iere, underground. So wouId sLuv Iere
unLII wus cIused ouL. Here, uL IeusL, couId Lrv Lo LIInk LIIngs ouL In
peuce, or, II noL In peuce, In quIeL. wouId Luke up resIdence
underground. TIe end wus In LIe begInnIng.
EpIIogue
So LIere vou Iuve uII oI IL LIuL's ImporLunL. Or uL IeusL vou uImosL
Iuve IL. 'm un InvIsIbIe mun und IL pIuced me In u IoIe-or sIowed me
LIe IoIe wus In, II vou wIII-und reIucLunLIv uccepLed LIe IucL. WIuL
eIse couId Iuve done? Once vou geL used Lo IL, reuIILv Is us IrresIsLIbIe
us u cIub, und wus cIubbed InLo LIe ceIIur beIore cuugIL LIe IInL.
PerIups LIuL's LIe wuv IL Iud Lo be; don'L know. Nor do know
wIeLIer uccepLIng LIe Iesson Ius pIuced me In LIe reur or In LIe uvunL-
gurde. TIuL, perIups, Is u Iesson Ior IIsLorv, und 'II Ieuve sucI
decIsIons Lo Juck und IIs IIk wIIIe Lrv beIuLedIv Lo sLudv LIe Iesson oI
mv own IIIe.
eL me be IonesL wILI vou-u IeuL wIIcI, bv LIe wuv, IInd oI LIe
uLmosL dIIIIcuILv. WIen one Is InvIsIbIe Ie IInds sucI probIems us good
und evII, IonesLv und dIsIonesLv, oI sucI sIIILIng sIupes LIuL Ie
conIuses one wILI LIe oLIer, dependIng upon wIo Iuppens Lo be
IookIng LIrougI IIm uL LIe LIme. WeII, now 've been LrvIng Lo Iook
LIrougI mvseII, und LIere's u rIsk In IL. wus never more IuLed LIun
wIen LrIed Lo be IonesL. Or wIen, even us jusL now 've LrIed Lo
urLIcuIuLe exucLIv wIuL IeIL Lo be LIe LruLI. No one wus suLIsIIed-noL
even . On LIe oLIer Iund, 've never been more Ioved und upprecIuLed
LIun wIen LrIed Lo "jusLIIv" und uIIIrm someone's mIsLuken beIIeIs; or
wIen 've LrIed Lo gIve mv IrIends LIe IncorrecL, ubsurd unswers LIev
wIsIed Lo Ieur. n mv presence LIev couId LuIk und ugree wILI
LIemseIves, LIe worId wus nuIIed down, und LIev Ioved IL. TIev
receIved u IeeIIng oI securILv. BuL Iere wus LIe rub: Too oILen, In order
Lo jusLIIv LIem, Iud Lo Luke mvseII bv LIe LIrouL und cIoke mvseII
unLII mv eves buIged und mv Longue Iung ouL und wugged IIke LIe door
oI un empLv Iouse In u IIgI wInd. OI, ves, IL mude LIem Iuppv und IL
mude me sIck. So becume III oI uIIIrmuLIon, oI suvIng "ves" uguInsL LIe
nuv-suvIng oI mv sLomucI-noL Lo menLIon mv bruIn.
TIere Is, bv LIe wuv, un ureu In wIIcI u mun's IeeIIngs ure more
ruLIonuI LIun IIs mInd, und IL Is precIseIv In LIuL ureu LIuL IIs wIII Is
puIIed In severuI dIrecLIons uL LIe sume LIme. You mIgIL sneer uL LIIs,
buL know now. wus puIIed LIIs wuv und LIuL Ior Ionger LIun cun
remember. And mv probIem wus LIuL uIwuvs LrIed Lo go In evervone's
wuv buL mv own. Iuve uIso been cuIIed one LIIng und LIen unoLIer
wIIIe no one reuIIv wIsIed Lo Ieur wIuL cuIIed mvseII. So uILer veurs
oI LrvIng Lo udopL LIe opInIons oI oLIers IInuIIv rebeIIed. um un
InvIsIbIe mun. TIus Iuve come u Iong wuv und reLurned und
boomerunged u Iong wuv Irom LIe poInL In socIeLv Lowurd wIIcI
orIgInuIIv uspIred.
So Look Lo LIe ceIIur; IIbernuLed. goL uwuv Irom IL uII. BuL LIuL
wusn'L enougI. couIdn'L be sLIII even In IIbernuLIon. Becuuse, dumn IL,
LIere's LIe mInd, LIe mInd. L wouIdn'L IeL me resL. GIn, juzz und
dreums were noL enougI. Books were noL enougI. Mv beIuLed
upprecIuLIon oI LIe crude joke LIuL Iud kepL me runnIng, wus noL
enougI. And mv mInd revoIved uguIn und uguIn buck Lo mv
grundIuLIer. And, despILe LIe Iurce LIuL ended mv uLLempL Lo suv "ves"
Lo LIe BroLIerIood, 'm sLIII pIugued bv IIs deuLIbed udvIce . . .
PerIups Ie IId IIs meunIng deeper LIun LIougIL, perIups IIs unger
LIrew me oII- cun'L decIde. CouId Ie Iuve meunL-IeII, Ie musL Iuve
meunL LIe prIncIpIe, LIuL we were Lo uIIIrm LIe prIncIpIe on wIIcI LIe
counLrv wus buIIL und noL LIe men, or uL IeusL noL LIe men wIo dId LIe
vIoIence. DId Ie meun suv "ves" becuuse Ie knew LIuL LIe prIncIpIe wus
greuLer LIun LIe men, greuLer LIun LIe numbers und LIe vIcIous power
und uII LIe meLIods used Lo corrupL ILs nume? DId Ie meun Lo uIIIrm
LIe prIncIpIe, wIIcI LIev LIemseIves Iud dreumed InLo beIng ouL oI LIe
cIuos und durkness oI LIe IeuduI pusL, und wIIcI LIev Iud vIoIuLed und
compromIsed Lo LIe poInL oI ubsurdILv even In LIeIr own corrupL
mInds? Or dId Ie meun LIuL we Iud Lo Luke LIe responsIbIIILv Ior uII oI
IL, Ior LIe men us weII us LIe prIncIpIe, becuuse we were LIe IeIrs wIo
musL use LIe prIncIpIe becuuse no oLIer IILLed our needs? NoL Ior LIe
power or Ior vIndIcuLIon, buL becuuse we, wILI LIe gIven cIrcumsLunce
oI our orIgIn, couId onIv LIus IInd Lrunscendence? Wus IL LIuL we oI uII,
we, mosL oI uII, Iud Lo uIIIrm LIe prIncIpIe, LIe pIun In wIose nume we
Iud been bruLuIIzed und sucrIIIced-noL becuuse we wouId uIwuvs be
weuk nor becuuse we were uIruId or opporLunIsLIc, buL becuuse we were
oIder LIun LIev, In LIe sense oI wIuL IL Look Lo IIve In LIe worId wILI
oLIers und becuuse LIev Iud exIuusLed In us, some-noL mucI, buL
some-oI LIe Iumun greed und smuIIness, ves, und LIe Ieur und
supersLILIon LIuL Iud kepL LIem runnIng. (OI, ves, LIev're runnIng Loo,
runnIng uII over LIemseIves.) Or wus IL, dId Ie meun LIuL we sIouId
uIIIrm LIe prIncIpIe becuuse we, LIrougI no IuuIL oI our own, were
IInked Lo uII LIe oLIers In LIe Ioud, cIumorIng semI-vIsIbIe worId, LIuL
worId seen onIv us u IerLIIe IIeId Ior expIoILuLIon bv Juck und IIs kInd,
und wILI condescensIon bv NorLon und IIs, wIo were LIred oI beIng LIe
mere puwns In LIe IuLIIe gume oI "mukIng IIsLorv"? Hud Ie seen LIuL
Ior LIese Loo we Iud Lo suv "ves" Lo LIe prIncIpIe, IesL LIev Lurn upon us
Lo desLrov boLI IL und us?
"Agree 'em Lo deuLI und desLrucLIon," grundIuLIer Iud udvIsed.
HeII, weren'L LIev LIeIr own deuLI und LIeIr own desLrucLIon excepL us
LIe prIncIpIe IIved In LIem und In us? And Iere's LIe creum oI LIe joke:
Weren'L we purL oI LIem us weII us upurL Irom LIem und subjecL Lo dIe
wIen LIev dIed? cun'L IIgure IL ouL; IL escupes me. BuL wIuL do reuIIv
wunL, 've usked mvseII. CerLuInIv noL LIe Ireedom oI u RIneIurL or LIe
power oI u Juck, nor sImpIv LIe Ireedom noL Lo run. No, buL LIe nexL
sLep couIdn'L muke, so 've remuIned In LIe IoIe.
'm noL bIumIng unvone Ior LIIs sLuLe oI uIIuIrs, mInd vou; nor
mereIv crvIng meu cuIpu. TIe IucL Is LIuL vou currv purL oI vour
sIckness wILIIn vou, uL IeusL do us un InvIsIbIe mun. currIed mv
sIckness und LIougI Ior u Iong LIme LrIed Lo pIuce IL In LIe ouLsIde
worId, LIe uLLempL Lo wrILe IL down sIows me LIuL uL IeusL IuII oI IL Iuv
wILIIn me. L cume upon me sIowIv, IIke LIuL sLrunge dIseuse LIuL
uIIecLs LIose bIuck men wIom vou see LurnIng sIowIv Irom bIuck Lo
uIbIno, LIeIr pIgmenL dIsuppeurIng us under LIe rudIuLIon oI some
crueI, InvIsIbIe ruv. You go uIong Ior veurs knowIng someLIIng Is
wrong, LIen suddenIv vou dIscover LIuL vou're us LrunspurenL us uIr. AL
IIrsL vou LeII vourseII LIuL IL's uII u dIrLv joke, or LIuL IL's due Lo LIe
"poIILIcuI sILuuLIon." BuL deep down vou come Lo suspecL LIuL vou're
vourseII Lo bIume, und vou sLund nuked und sIIverIng beIore LIe
mIIIIons oI eves wIo Iook LIrougI vou unseeIngIv. TIuL Is LIe reuI souI-
sIckness, LIe speur In LIe sIde, LIe drug bv LIe neck LIrougI LIe mob-
ungrv Lown, LIe Grund nquIsILIon, LIe embruce oI LIe MuIden, LIe rIp
In LIe beIIv wILI LIe guLs spIIIIng ouL, LIe LrIp Lo LIe cIumber wILI LIe
deudIv gus LIuL ends In LIe oven so IvgIenIcuIIv cIeun-onIv IL's worse
becuuse vou conLInue sLupIdIv Lo IIve. BuL IIve vou musL, und vou cun
eILIer muke pussIve Iove Lo vour sIckness or burn IL ouL und go on Lo
LIe nexL conIIIcLIng pIuse.
Yes, buL wIuL Is LIe nexL pIuse? How oILen Iuve LrIed Lo IInd IL!
Over und over uguIn 've gone up ubove Lo seek IL ouL. or, IIke uImosL
evervone eIse In our counLrv, sLurLed ouL wILI mv sIure oI opLImIsm.
beIIeved In Iurd work und progress und ucLIon, buL now, uILer IIrsL
beIng "Ior" socIeLv und LIen "uguInsL" IL, ussIgn mvseII no runk or unv
IImIL, und sucI un uLLILude Is verv mucI uguInsL LIe Lrend oI LIe LImes.
BuL mv worId Ius become one oI InIInILe possIbIIILIes. WIuL u pIruse-
sLIII IL's u good pIruse und u good vIew oI IIIe, und u mun sIouIdn'L
uccepL unv oLIer; LIuL mucI 've Ieurned underground. UnLII some gung
succeeds In puLLIng LIe worId In u sLruIL juckeL, ILs deIInILIon Is
possIbIIILv. SLep ouLsIde LIe nurrow borders oI wIuL men cuII reuIILv
und vou sLep InLo cIuos-usk RIneIurL, Ie's u musLer oI IL-or
ImugInuLIon. TIuL Loo 've Ieurned In LIe ceIIur, und noL bv deudenIng
mv sense oI percepLIon; 'm InvIsIbIe, noL bIInd.
No Indeed, LIe worId Is jusL us concreLe, ornerv, vIIe und subIImeIv
wonderIuI us beIore, onIv now beLLer undersLund mv reIuLIon Lo IL und
IL Lo me. 've come u Iong wuv Irom LIose duvs wIen, IuII oI IIIusIon,
IIved u pubIIc IIIe und uLLempLed Lo IuncLIon under LIe ussumpLIon LIuL
LIe worId wus soIId und uII LIe reIuLIonsIIps LIereIn. Now know men
ure dIIIerenL und LIuL uII IIIe Is dIvIded und LIuL onIv In dIvIsIon Is LIere
Lrue IeuILI. Hence uguIn Iuve sLuved In mv IoIe, becuuse up ubove
LIere's un IncreusIng pussIon Lo muke men conIorm Lo u puLLern. JusL
us In mv nIgILmure, Juck und LIe bovs ure wuILIng wILI LIeIr knIves,
IookIng Ior LIe sIIgILesL excuse Lo . . . weII, Lo "buII LIe juck," und do
noL reIer Lo LIe oId dunce sLep, uILIougI wIuL LIev're doIng Is mukIng
LIe oId eugIe rock dungerousIv.
WIence uII LIIs pussIon Lowurd conIormILv unvwuv?-dIversILv Is
LIe word. eL mun keep IIs munv purLs und vou'II Iuve no LvrunL sLuLes.
WIv, II LIev IoIIow LIIs conIormILv busIness LIev'II end up bv IorcIng
me, un InvIsIbIe mun, Lo become wIILe, wIIcI Is noL u coIor buL LIe Iuck
oI one. MusL sLrIve Lowurd coIorIessness? BuL serIousIv, und wILIouL
snobberv, LIInk oI wIuL LIe worId wouId Iose II LIuL sIouId Iuppen.
AmerIcu Is woven oI munv sLrunds; wouId recognIze LIem und IeL IL so
remuIn. L's "wInner Luke noLIIng" LIuL Is LIe greuL LruLI oI our counLrv
or oI unv counLrv. IIe Is Lo be IIved, noL conLroIIed; und IumunILv Is
won bv conLInuIng Lo pIuv In Iuce oI cerLuIn deIeuL. Our IuLe Is Lo
become one, und veL munv-TIIs Is noL propIecv, buL descrIpLIon. TIus
one oI LIe greuLesL jokes In LIe worId Is LIe specLucIe oI LIe wIILes busv
escupIng bIuckness und becomIng bIucker everv duv, und LIe bIucks
sLrIvIng Lowurd wIILeness, becomIng quILe duII und gruv. None oI us
seems Lo know wIo Ie Is or wIere Ie's goIng.
WIIcI remInds me oI someLIIng LIuL occurred LIe oLIer duv In
LIe subwuv. AL IIrsL suw onIv un oId genLIemun wIo Ior LIe momenL
wus IosL. knew Ie wus IosL, Ior us Iooked down LIe pIuLIorm suw
IIm upproucI severuI peopIe und Lurn uwuv wILIouL speukIng. He's
IosL, LIougIL, und Ie'II keep comIng unLII Ie sees me, LIen Ie'II usk
IIs dIrecLIon. Muvbe LIere's un emburrussmenL In IL II Ie udmILs Ie's
IosL Lo u sLrunge wIILe mun. PerIups Lo Iose u sense oI wIere vou ure
ImpIIes LIe dunger oI IosIng u sense oI wIo vou ure. TIuL musL be IL,
LIougIL-Lo Iose vour dIrecLIon Is Lo Iose vour Iuce. So Iere Ie comes Lo
usk IIs dIrecLIon Irom LIe IosL, LIe InvIsIbIe. Verv weII, 've Ieurned Lo
IIve wILIouL dIrecLIon. eL IIm usk.
BuL LIen Ie wus onIv u Iew IeeL uwuv und recognIzed IIm; IL wus
Mr. NorLon. TIe oId genLIemun wus LIInner und wrInkIed now buL us
dupper us ever. And seeIng IIm mude uII LIe oId IIIe IIve In me Ior un
InsLunL, und smIIed wILI Leur-sLIngIng eves. TIen IL wus over, deud,
und wIen Ie usked me Iow Lo geL Lo CenLre SLreeL, regurded IIm wILI
mIxed IeeIIngs.
"Don'L vou know me?" suId.
"SIouId ?" Ie suId.
"You see me?" suId, wuLcIIng IIm LenseIv.
"WIv, oI course-SIr, do vou know LIe wuv Lo CenLre SLreeL?"
"So. usL LIme IL wus LIe GoIden Duv, now IL's CenLre SLreeL.
You've reLrencIed, sIr. BuL don'L vou know wIo um?"
"Young mun, 'm In u Iurrv," Ie suId, cuppIng u Iund Lo IIs eur.
"WIv sIouId know vou?"
"Becuuse 'm vour desLInv."
"Mv desLInv, dId vou suv?" He guve me u puzzIed sLure, buckIng
uwuv. "Young mun, ure vou weII? WIIcI LruIn dId vou suv sIouId
Luke?"
" dIdn'L suv," suId, sIukIng mv Ieud. "Now, uren'L vou
usIumed?"
"AsIumed? ASHAMED!" Ie suId IndIgnunLIv.
IuugIed, suddenIv Luken bv LIe Ideu. "Becuuse, Mr. NorLon, II
vou don'L know wIere vou ure, vou probubIv don'L know wIo vou ure.
So vou cume Lo me ouL oI sIume. You ure usIumed, now uren'L vou?"
"Young mun, 've IIved Loo Iong In LIIs worId Lo be usIumed oI
unvLIIng. Are vou IIgIL-Ieuded Irom Iunger? How do vou know mv
nume?"
"BuL 'm vour desLInv, mude vou. WIv sIouIdn'L know vou?"
suId, wuIkIng cIoser und seeIng IIm buck uguInsL u pIIIur. He Iooked
uround IIke u cornered unImuI. He LIougIL wus mud.
"Don'L be uIruId, Mr. NorLon," suId. "TIere's u guurd down LIe
pIuLIorm LIere. You're suIe. Tuke unv LruIn; LIev uII go Lo LIe GoIden D
-"
BuL now un express Iud roIIed up und LIe oId mun wus
dIsuppeurIng quILe sprvIv InsIde one oI ILs doors. sLood LIere IuugIIng
IvsLerIcuIIv. IuugIed uII LIe wuv buck Lo mv IoIe.
BuL uILer Iud IuugIed wus LIrown buck on mv LIougILs-Iow
Iud IL uII Iuppened? And usked mvseII II IL were onIv u joke und
couIdn'L unswer. SInce LIen 've someLImes been overcome wILI u
pussIon Lo reLurn InLo LIuL "IeurL oI durkness" ucross LIe Muson-DIxon
IIne, buL LIen remInd mvseII LIuL LIe Lrue durkness IIes wILIIn mv
own mInd, und LIe Ideu Ioses ILseII In LIe gIoom. SLIII LIe pussIon
persIsLs. SomeLImes IeeI LIe need Lo reuIIIrm uII oI IL, LIe wIoIe
unIuppv LerrILorv und uII LIe LIIngs Ioved und unIovubIe In IL, Ior uII oI
IL Is purL oI me. TIII now, Iowever, LIIs Is us Iur us 've ever goLLen, Ior
uII IIIe seen Irom LIe IoIe oI InvIsIbIIILv Is ubsurd.
So wIv do wrILe, LorLurIng mvseII Lo puL IL down? Becuuse In
spILe oI mvseII 've Ieurned some LIIngs. WILIouL LIe possIbIIILv oI
ucLIon, uII knowIedge comes Lo one IubeIed "IIIe und IorgeL," und cun
neILIer IIIe nor IorgeL. Nor wIII cerLuIn Ideus IorgeL me; LIev keep IIIIng
uwuv uL mv IeLIurgv, mv compIucencv. WIv sIouId be LIe one Lo
dreum LIIs nIgILmure? WIv sIouId be dedIcuLed und seL usIde-ves, II
noL Lo uL IeusL LeII u Iew peopIe ubouL IL? TIere seems Lo be no escupe.
Here 've seL ouL Lo LIrow mv unger InLo LIe worId's Iuce, buL now LIuL
've LrIed Lo puL IL uII down LIe oId IuscInuLIon wILI pIuvIng u roIe
reLurns, und 'm druwn upwurd uguIn. So LIuL even beIore IInIsI 've
IuIIed (muvbe mv unger Is Loo Ieuvv; perIups, beIng u LuIker, 've used
Loo munv words). BuL 've IuIIed. TIe verv ucL oI LrvIng Lo puL IL uII
down Ius conIused me und neguLed some oI LIe unger und some oI LIe
bILLerness. So IL Is LIuL now denounce und deIend, or IeeI prepured Lo
deIend. condemn und uIIIrm, suv no und suv ves, suv ves und suv no.
denounce becuuse LIougI ImpIIcuLed und purLIuIIv responsIbIe, Iuve
been IurL Lo LIe poInL oI ubvsmuI puIn, IurL Lo LIe poInL oI InvIsIbIIILv.
And deIend becuuse In spILe oI uII IInd LIuL Iove. n order Lo geL
some oI IL down Iuve Lo Iove. seII vou no pIonv IorgIveness, 'm u
desperuLe mun-buL Loo mucI oI vour IIIe wIII be IosL, ILs meunIng IosL,
unIess vou upproucI IL us mucI LIrougI Iove us LIrougI IuLe. So
upproucI IL LIrougI dIvIsIon. So denounce und deIend und IuLe
und Iove.
PerIups LIuL mukes me u IILLIe bIL us Iumun us mv grundIuLIer.
Once LIougIL mv grundIuLIer IncupubIe oI LIougILs ubouL IumunILv,
buL wus wrong. WIv sIouId un oId sIuve use sucI u pIruse us, "TIIs
und LIIs or LIIs Ius mude me more Iumun," us dId In mv urenu
speecI? HeII, Ie never Iud unv doubLs ubouL IIs IumunILv-LIuL wus
IeIL Lo IIs "Iree" oIIsprIng. He uccepLed IIs IumunILv jusL us Ie
uccepLed LIe prIncIpIe. L wus IIs, und LIe prIncIpIe IIves on In uII ILs
Iumun und ubsurd dIversILv. So now IuvIng LrIed Lo puL IL down Iuve
dIsurmed mvseII In LIe process. You won'L beIIeve In mv InvIsIbIIILv und
vou'II IuII Lo see Iow unv prIncIpIe LIuL uppIIes Lo vou couId uppIv Lo
me. You'II IuII Lo see IL even LIougI deuLI wuILs Ior boLI oI us II vou
don'L. NeverLIeIess, LIe verv dIsurmumenL Ius brougIL me Lo u
decIsIon. TIe IIbernuLIon Is over. musL sIuke oII LIe oId skIn und
come up Ior breuLI. TIere's u sLencI In LIe uIr, wIIcI, Irom LIIs
dIsLunce underground, mIgIL be LIe smeII eILIer oI deuLI or oI sprIng-
Iope oI sprIng. BuL don'L IeL me LrIck vou, LIere Is u deuLI In LIe smeII
oI sprIng und In LIe smeII oI LIee us In LIe smeII oI me. And II noLIIng
more, InvIsIbIIILv Ius LuugIL mv nose Lo cIussIIv LIe sLencIes oI deuLI.
n goIng underground, wIIpped IL uII excepL LIe mInd, LIe mInd.
And LIe mInd LIuL Ius conceIved u pIun oI IIvIng musL never Iose sIgIL
oI LIe cIuos uguInsL wIIcI LIuL puLLern wus conceIved. TIuL goes Ior
socIeLIes us weII us Ior IndIvIduuIs. TIus, IuvIng LrIed Lo gIve puLLern Lo
LIe cIuos wIIcI IIves wILIIn LIe puLLern oI vour cerLuInLIes, musL
come ouL, musL emerge. And LIere's sLIII u conIIIcL wILIIn me: WILI
ouIs ArmsLrong one IuII oI me suvs, "Open LIe wIndow und IeL LIe
IouI uIr ouL," wIIIe LIe oLIer suvs, "L wus good green corn beIore LIe
IurvesL." OI course ouIs wus kIddIng, Ie wouIdn'L Iuve LIrown oId
Bud AIr ouL, becuuse IL wouId Iuve broken up LIe musIc und LIe dunce,
wIen IL wus LIe good musIc LIuL cume Irom LIe beII oI oId Bud AIr's
Iorn LIuL counLed. OId Bud AIr Is sLIII uround wILI IIs musIc und IIs
duncIng und IIs dIversILv, und 'II be up und uround wILI mIne. And, us
suId beIore, u decIsIon Ius been mude. 'm sIukIng oII LIe oId skIn
und 'II Ieuve IL Iere In LIe IoIe. 'm comIng ouL, no Iess InvIsIbIe
wILIouL IL, buL comIng ouL neverLIeIess. And suppose IL's dumn weII
LIme. Even IIbernuLIons cun be overdone, come Lo LIInk oI IL. PerIups
LIuL's mv greuLesL socIuI crIme, 've oversLuved mv IIbernuLIon, sInce
LIere's u possIbIIILv LIuL even un InvIsIbIe mun Ius u socIuIIv
responsIbIe roIe Lo pIuv.
"AI," cun Ieur vou suv, "so IL wus uII u buIId-up Lo bore us wILI
IIs buggv jIvIng. He onIv wunLed us Lo IIsLen Lo IIm ruve!" BuL onIv
purLIuIIv Lrue: BeIng InvIsIbIe und wILIouL subsLunce, u dIsembodIed
voIce, us IL were, wIuL eIse couId do? WIuL eIse buL Lrv Lo LeII vou wIuL
wus reuIIv IuppenIng wIen vour eves were IookIng LIrougI? And IL Is
LIIs wIIcI IrIgILens me: WIo knows buL LIuL, on LIe Iower IrequencIes,
speuk Ior vou?