w w w . d y l a n m a l l o c h . c o m
The Federal Budget 09 - Doomsday
So I was sitting on my bed ready for a shock. I knew that what was about to happen wasgoing to be bad - I mean come on: it was Wayne Swan! – but I didn’t give it too muchthought.After all, I’d had things pretty good so far. I got a full time job in my last year of university, and the longest I’ve ever been out of work has been a month – and that was bychoice! So, I tend to have a very ‘glass-half-full’ approach to the world.That’s what made Tuesday night such a shock to the system. My happy go lucky attitudewas suddenly completely destroyed and I became Sad Stop Unlucky. What happenedTuesday night you might ask? Well, in short, Wayne Swan completely screwed the entirecountry.Yep, you read that right – the entire country. All of a sudden, in a space of less than 12months, the Australian budget went from being in surplus by $20 billion to being in deficitby $57 billion.Oh the humanity!This is not small fry news people. That is more money than you can possiblycomprehend. However, it didn’t stop there. We’re forecast to be in the same deficit nextyear, and just less than that in 2011. So, in 3 years, the budget will be in deficit by agrand total of approximately $130 billion.Holy crap!!!!Yes, I am terrified. I reacted with incredible shock. The only reaction that comes close toemulating what I did on Tuesday night is the reaction of Doc Brown in the film Back to theFuture when Marty tells him that in order to get back to 1985, he needs to hit the fluxcapacitor with 1.21 gigawatts of electricity.Doc Brown’s reaction?ONE POINT TWENTY ONE JIGGA WATTS!!!!!!!!!!!!Yep, I was completely perplexed, bamboozled, terrified, shocked, and dismayed all at thesame time. How could this have happened? What the hell went wrong?Now, here’s the cue for all the lefties (who I would be surprised if they even knew thiswebsite existed) email me saying that the only reason for the massive MASSIVEMASSIVE!!! deficit is because of the global financial crisis.Err, excuse me, but that’s complete garbage.If Swan hadn’t handed out $26 billion in cash payments that would cut the deficit in half.If he didn’t pass on the tax cuts he’d pledged, that would’ve wiped another $6 billion off the deficit. If he didn’t give the pensioners a weekly pay rise, that would have beenanother $14 billion dollars... and hey, I’m no financial guru. This is just simple maths!The problem is, that nobody seems to realise that there are alternatives to doing whatLord Kevin decrees. Every chance they gets, Swan or Rudd come out with this absurdline that there are two options. “Do as we do, or do nothing.”Excuse me again, but that’s garbage too. In fact, it makes me massively frustrated eventyping that sentence.To say, we can either put the budget in deficit by $57 billion or do nothing at all, is theequivalent of saying “my options for tonight are to either fly to the moon and marryJennifer Hawkins when I get back, or to sit at home and stare at a wall doing nothing atall.”In other words, it is the most false dichotomy in the history of false dichotomies.Wayne Swan handed down the biggestbudget deficit in modern Australian history.
Doc Brown had no idea how he wasgoing to find 1.21 gigawatts.