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Partnering_the New Face of Leadership

Partnering_the New Face of Leadership

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Published by Kevin Cashman

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Published by: Kevin Cashman on Sep 08, 2011
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08/13/2014

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CHAPTER25
------------------------__.o~------------------------
FIVETOUCHSTONESTOAUTHENTICPARTNERINGASALEADER
KEVINCASHMAN
~Whilepartneringisfamiliarterritorytousall,authenticpart-
'tt!tf
neringrequiresnewtouchstonestonavigateourway.Whetheritisthebondthatconnectsfamilymembers,thepartneringbetweenbusinessentities,thesynergybetweenteammembers,orthelinkagesbetweenabusinessandavendor,alleffectivepartneringhasonethingincommon:the"parts"ofpartneringcometogethertocreateamoreintegratedwhole.Why,then,aresomeofthe"wholes"moreintegratedandwhydotheycreatemore,whereasotherscomeapartanddiminishvalue?Overthepast20yearsofcoachingseniorexecutivesandseniorteams,wehavebeenfortunatetoobserveafewunderlyingdynamicsthatfosterenhancedsynergy,connection,andvaluecreation.WecallthesedynamicstheFiveTouchstonesofAuthenticPartnering.
TOUCHSTONEONE:KNOWYOURSELFAUTHENTICALLY
Thereisno"part"toconnecttoanother"part,"unlessweunderstandexactlywhatthat"part"isandhowitcanaddvaluebyconnectingwithother"parts."Thephrase
nosceteipsum,
knowthyself,appearsthroughouttheagesinthewritingsofOvid,Cicero,andSocrates;inthesayingsoftheSevenSagesofGreece;ontheentrancetothetempleofApollo;
[257]
 
[258]TheLeaderasPartner:SucceedinginaComplexWorld
inChristianwritings;andinEasterntexts.OnescholarsaysitwaspartofShakespeare's"regularmoralandreligiousdiet."
Nosceteipsum
threadsitswaythroughhistoryasthepreeminentpreceptinlife.Examplesinclude:Chaucer,"Fullwiseishethatcanhimselfknow."Browning,"Trustiswithinourselves."Pope,"Andallourknowledgeis,ourselvesto
know,"!
Montaigne,"Ifamandoesnotknowhimself,howshouldheknowhisfunctionsandhispowersr'"deSaint-Exupery,"Eachmanmustlooktohimselftoteachhimthemeaningoflife."LaoTzu,"Knowledgeofselfisthesourceofourabilities.T'ContemporarythinkersfromRalphWaldoEmersonandAbrahamMaslowtoWarrenBennisandStephenCoveyhaveallcarriedonthetradition.Emersonwrote,"Thepurposeoflifeseemstobetoacquaintmanwithhimself.?"Benniswrites,"Lettingtheselfemergeistheessentialtaskofleaders.t"Coveysays,
"It
isfutiletoputpersonalityaheadofcharacter,to
try
toimproverelationshipswithothersbeforeimproving
ourselves.t'"
Ifwewanttobemoreeffectivepartnerswithothers,wefirstneedtobecomeamoreeffectivepartnerwithourselves.Insteadoffocus-ingonfindingtherightpartner(inbusinessorrelationships),seektobetherightpartner.
TOUCHSTONETWO:LISTENAUTHENTICALLY
Theprerequisiteforeffectivepartnershipsistounderstandwherethepotentialpartnerisat:Whataretheirneeds?Whatdotheyrequire?Whataretheirconcerns?Listeningistheskillthatconnectsustotheseneedsandbuildsthestageforperformancetogether.Howoftenarewetrulypresentwithsomeone?Howoftendowesetasideallourconcerns-past,present,andfuture-andcompletely"bethere"forsomeoneelse?Howoftendowereallyhearwhatthepotentialpartnerissayingandfeelingversusfilteringitheavilythroughourownimmediateconcernsandtimepressures?Authenticlisteningisnoteasy.Wehearthewords,butrarelydowereallylis-ten.Wehearthewords,butdowealso"hear"theemotions,fears,andunderlyingconcerns?Authenticlisteningisnotatechnique.
It

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