Boundaries must be consistent
Consistency in setting and maintaining boundaries is essential. Be sure the entire teamis aware of the caregiving covenant agreed upon by team members, and that each team
member accepts the team’s boundaries set with care partners.
If a team member worksoutside the team boundaries, the care partner will be confused when other members ofthe Team refuse to comply w
ith the care partner’s request
, and this will hamper the
entire team’s efforts. (Note: When a team member excuses a care partner’s behavior by urging: “But he’s sick!” “She is dying,” it should be pointed out these tragic
events arereality that a care team cannot alter and they do not give one license to manipulate orabuse another.) So how and when does one set boundaries? Here are some tips onsetting boundaries:
Know exactly how much time you will offer.
Know what and how much you and the Caregiving Team are willing to do. Thecare team member makes a decision that,
I will only spend one hour taking Mrs. X to the grocery store
will pick up and take the cups to the sink after my visit with Mrs. Y, but I will not clean the kitchen
Use clear and simple communication. Be straightforward.
“Hello, Mrs. X this is Terry. I will be coming by at 10:00 to pick you up so
we can go to the grocery store. Do you have your list ready? Great, I love the time we spend together, but we must finish by 11:30 because my family is waiting for me
“I have a prior engagement.”
If a care partner makes a request and a team member responds with an honest,
“I will think about it.” Or “Maybe. I will let you know.”
It is very important that theteam member follow through as quickly as possible and respond with a yesor a no.
le when a boundary has been set and do not allow thecare partner to manipulate. For instance, a care partner asks a team member tocall her daughter and try to fix their strained relationship.
you are persistent and don’t give up easil
y, but you have asked me to do this before and I said no.
I can’t do that for you.
When I first began to visit you, we both agreed, that I would not call your daughter.