Welcome to the world-wide family of penis owners. We trust that you will
enjoy many years of trouble-free service from yours. To help ensure that
you will, we encourage you to familiarise yourself with the following
equipment descriptions, operating instructions and maintenance
CAUTION! The following can shrink a relaxed penis by two inches or more:-
Cold weather, chilly baths or showers, sexual activity, exhaustion,
excitement (non sexual), illness and Richard Branson.
The testicles need to be slightly cooler than normal body temperature for
optimum sperm production. That's why they hang away from the body.
Hot baths and tight underwear can depress sperm count and movement.
1. DIRECT THE FLOW OF URINE The penis contains a narrow hose
called the urethra that is attached to the bladder. As the urine level
approaches the bladder's maximum capacity line, you get the urge
to pull over. When released, urine is flushed through the urethra, out
the tip of the penis and, according to most women, usually on to the
floor next to the toilet. Acting as a regulator for this process is the
Pubococcygeal (PC) muscle. This is what you flex to stop urine flow
or rid yourself of those last few drops. (It can also serve as an
orgasm regulator. See Troubleshooting" later in this document.)
2. BECOME RIGID ENOUGH TO ALLOW PENETRATION DURING SEXUAL
INTERCOURSE Your penis is equipped with twin hydraulic chambers.
During sexual stimulation, these fill with blood until the penis grows
firm and erect. After stimulation ends or there's ejaculation, blood
leaves these chambers and the penis softens again. There is usually
a recovery or "refractory" period ranging from a few minutes to a
full day (depending on the equipment's age) before another erection
can occur. About half of the penis is hidden inside the body, even
when erect. It is fastened to the pelvis undercarriage for support.
3. DEPOSIT SEMEN WITHIN THE VAGINA DURING EJACULATION Sperm is
manufactured inside the testicles, those two ball joints below the
drive shaft. From here, it passes into a soft, fibrous organ behind
each testicle called the epididymis, where it acquires the long tail
necessary for swimming. Sperm then enters the Vas Deferens for
storage. This thin hose loops around and splices into the urethra just
below the bladder. When it's time to shift into sexual high gear,
sperm is mixed with liquid from the prostate gland and adjoining
seminal vesicles. The resulting transmission fluid, called semen,
gathers in a holding tank, which gradually swells to pinch the
bladder shut and prevent urine from trickling in. Finally the semen is
expelled from the body via the urethra by a series of muscular
The key to your sexual ignition is not between your legs, it's inside your
head. The brain is man's biggest sex organ, sending nerve impulses
running down the spinal cord to trigger an erection. Keep in mind though
that since arousal is an electrical spark travelling the neural motorway it
can be dulled by a repetitive commute. So vary your starting procedure,
explore side roads, stop at a roadside service area, let your partner drive,
or, when applicable, road-test a new model.
If your penis fails to become erect, even after repeated cranking, or if you
have trouble maintaining an erection, let it idle for a while. Just about
every man experiences an occasional erection problem, so try not to let it
bother you. If you do it can develop into a psychological problem that can
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