The Turnip Green Comedy Newspaper cir-culates to a readership of over 50,000 in mostof N. Florida and S. Georgia. The TurnipGreen is published monthly by the Turnipi-ans from the planet ZOLTAR. The contentsof this paper in no way reflect the opinions of
its writers, its writer’s bartenders, or itswriter’s third grade teachers. Any semblance
to intelligence detected in this publication is purely an error on your part and is not the re-sponsibility of any of us, who share a com- bined brain cell count of three. This paper iscopyrighted and no part can be reprintedwithout the permission of the publisher, who,if you get her drunk enough will give you permission to do just about anything.
A woman walksinto a supermarketand buys:1 bar of soap1 toothbrush1 tube of tooth- paste1 loaf of bread1 pint of milk 1 single serving of cereal1 single serving frozen dinner 1 can of Soup For One1 16oz can of Miller LiteThe guy at the checkout looks ather and says, "Single, are you?"The woman smiles sweetly andreplies, "How did you guess?"He replies, "Because you'reugly."