Mark Twain..............................................................................................................................................1
INTRODUCTION...................................................................................................................................3
PREFACE. FROM THE PREFACE TO THE ENGLISH EDITION OF "MARK TWAIN'S
SKETCHES"............................................................................................................................................3
THE STORY OF A SPEECH..................................................................................................................4
PLYMOUTH ROCK AND THE PILGRIMS.........................................................................................9
COMPLIMENTS AND DEGREES......................................................................................................11
BOOKS, AUTHORS, AND HATS.......................................................................................................13
DEDICATION SPEECH.......................................................................................................................16
DIE SCHRECKEN DER DEUTSCHEN SPRACHE [THE HORRORS OF THE GERMAN
LANGUAGE]........................................................................................................................................17
GERMAN FOR THE HUNGARIANS.................................................................................................18
A NEW GERMAN WORD...................................................................................................................19
UNCONSCIOUS PLAGIARISM..........................................................................................................19
THE WEATHER...................................................................................................................................20
THE BABIES........................................................................................................................................21
OUR CHILDREN AND GREAT DISCOVERIES...............................................................................23
EDUCATING THEATRE\u2212GOERS......................................................................................................23
THE EDUCATIONAL THEATRE.......................................................................................................24
[On April 23, 1908, he spoke again at the same place].......................................................................25
POETS AS POLICEMEN.....................................................................................................................25
PUDD'NHEAD WILSON DRAMATIZED..........................................................................................25
DALY THEATRE.................................................................................................................................26
THE DRESS OF CIVILIZED WOMAN..............................................................................................27
DRESS REFORM AND COPYRIGHT................................................................................................27
COLLEGE GIRLS.................................................................................................................................29
GIRLS....................................................................................................................................................29
THE LADIES.........................................................................................................................................30
WOMAN'S PRESS CLUB....................................................................................................................31
VOTES FOR WOMEN.........................................................................................................................32
WOMAN\u2212AN OPINION......................................................................................................................33
ADVICE TO GIRLS..............................................................................................................................33
TAXES AND MORALS.......................................................................................................................34
TAMMANY AND CROKER................................................................................................................36
MUNICIPAL CORRUPTION...............................................................................................................37
MUNICIPAL GOVERNMENT............................................................................................................38
CHINA AND THE PHILIPPINES........................................................................................................40
THEORETICAL MORALS..................................................................................................................40
LAYMAN'S SERMON.........................................................................................................................42
UNIVERSITY SETTLEMENT SOCIETY...........................................................................................43
PUBLIC EDUCATION ASSOCIATION.............................................................................................44
EDUCATION AND CITIZENSHIP.....................................................................................................45
COURAGE............................................................................................................................................47
THE DINNER TO MR. CHOATE........................................................................................................47
ON STANLEY AND LIVINGSTONE.................................................................................................48

HENRY IRVING...................................................................................................................................50 DINNER TO HAMILTON W. MABIE................................................................................................51 INTRODUCING NYE AND RILEY....................................................................................................52 DINNER TO WHITELAW REID.........................................................................................................53 ROGERS AND RAILROADS..............................................................................................................54 THE OLD\u2212FASHIONED PRINTER....................................................................................................56 SOCIETY OF AMERICAN AUTHORS..............................................................................................57 READING\u2212ROOM OPENING.............................................................................................................58 LITERATURE.......................................................................................................................................59 DISAPPEARANCE OF LITERATURE...............................................................................................59 THE NEW YORK PRESS CLUB DINNER.........................................................................................61 THE ALPHABET AND SIMPLIFIED SPELLING.............................................................................61 SPELLING AND PICTURES...............................................................................................................62 BOOKS AND BURGLARS..................................................................................................................65 AUTHORS' CLUB................................................................................................................................66 BOOKSELLERS...................................................................................................................................67 "MARK TWAIN'S FIRST APPEARANCE"........................................................................................68 MORALS AND MEMORY..................................................................................................................69 QUEEN VICTORIA..............................................................................................................................74 JOAN OF ARC......................................................................................................................................75 ACCIDENT INSURANCE\u2212\u2212ETC.......................................................................................................78 OSTEOPATHY.....................................................................................................................................78 WATER\u2212SUPPLY................................................................................................................................80 MISTAKEN IDENTITY.......................................................................................................................80 CATS AND CANDY............................................................................................................................82 OBITUARY POETRY..........................................................................................................................82 CIGARS AND TOBACCO...................................................................................................................83 BILLIARDS...........................................................................................................................................83 THE UNION RIGHT OR WRONG......................................................................................................84 AN IDEAL FRENCH ADDRESS.........................................................................................................86 STATISTICS.........................................................................................................................................87 GALVESTON ORPHAN BAZAAR.....................................................................................................88 SAN FRANCISCO EARTHQUAKE....................................................................................................89 CHARITY AND ACTORS...................................................................................................................89 RUSSIAN REPUBLIC..........................................................................................................................90 RUSSIAN SUFFERERS.......................................................................................................................90 WATTERSON AND TWAIN AS REBELS.........................................................................................93 ROBERT FULTON FUND...................................................................................................................93 FULTON DAY, JAMESTOWN...........................................................................................................95 LOTOS CLUB DINNER IN HONOR OF MARK TWAIN................................................................97 COPYRIGHT.........................................................................................................................................99 IN AID OF THE BLIND.....................................................................................................................101 DR. MARK TWAIN, FARMEOPATH...............................................................................................105 MISSOURI UNIVERSITY SPEECH.................................................................................................106 BUSINESS...........................................................................................................................................107 CARNEGIE THE BENEFACTOR.....................................................................................................109 ON POETRY, VERACITY, AND SUICIDE......................................................................................109 WELCOME HOME.............................................................................................................................110