The family television is blaring loudly in my living room. I’m standing in front of it,waiting for my favorite show to begin. A need to distract myself makes me face downand observe my toes dig into the green fuzzy carpet. I take pleasure in pressing my bodyhard against the soft surface below me. The harder I press, the better I feel. As I’mgetting drunk with this fake euphoria, the television goes silent for a second. Then I hearthe sound of African tribal drums. I look up at the screen and I see the title “AnimalsUnlimited”. I am now content. I throw myself on my big leather couch, landing hard. Igrab the bed quilt that’s lying on the arm rest.As soon as I cover up, I feel a cool breeze hit me straight in the face, and that makes mebend my shoulders and knees. I slowly ease them into my stomach.I’ve now locked myself into an upright fetal position. I feel safe, but somewhat detachedfrom my surroundings. I drift into a daze of semi-consciousness, a state which makes mybrain take a moment to meditate. I try and remember what I’m doing, where I’m goingand who I’m supposed to be now. I’m almost positive that today, I am who I amsupposed to be, yet I am not completely certain. I need to be convinced that I am who Ithink I am.But such preoccupations are not worth all this trouble. I’ll just relax and watch theprogram for now.I focus on the television screen and I see clearly now - today’s program is about: “TheLong Voyage of the North American Goose”. If I remember correctly, last Friday theshow focused on monkeys, and their predilection for doing strange things, like eatingtheir own feces. I remember I found it very amusing. I was certainly happier then.I enjoy these nature shows. There’s something comforting about watching animalbehavior. It’s honest. I find that lacking in the human race.Humans are dishonest with each other. Also, they’re naturally cruel.During a recent office party, the very beautiful secretary that works on the fifth floorcame to me in the middle of her mildly drunk stupor, and asked me to trust her (“Tell mea secret, honey”). Her forwardness made me feel good about myself. After confiding inher, she instantly ran toward whoever would listen, to then let the whole office in on thesecret – my bed-wetting problem.