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Special Edition: The Griffin, Vol. 2.3 October 2011

Special Edition: The Griffin, Vol. 2.3 October 2011

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10/14/2011

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The Griffin
Philadelphia, PA October 2011
K
The Free Student Newspaper of Chestnut Hill College 
BASTARDIZEDBY MUGGLES
`
d
EXCLUSIVE
QUIDDITCH
ince the fall of Lord Voldemort13 years ago, the Wiarding com-munity has beenrelatively at ease. The past decade has been seem-ingly trouble-free for the magi-cal population with widespreadreconstructive efforts in both
physical and emotional elds.
However, an alarming new de- velopment has beendiscovered, the likesof which haven’tbeen seen since thedays of the Dark Lord: Muggles havebeen reported onmultiple occasionsto be playing Quid-ditch.
How did they inltrate our
society, previously thought tobe secure? What else do they know? What led them to play aperverted version of our mostbeloved sport? The most alarming aspectof this disaster is the desecra-tion of Quidditch. The im-portance of this sport hardly needs to be mentioned; it hasbeen with us since 1050, whenGertie Keddie witnessed the
rst recorded game of modern
Quidditch. It brings the global Wiarding community togetherand is one of the few common-alities present in all countries.However, our sacred pastime isbeing marred more and moreeach second.Most substantially, and un-fathomably, the Muggles be-lieve that Quidditch is meant tobe played on the ground! Oursources tell us that games are
played on a eld, with people
running around and holding broomsticks between their legs. Additionally, the GoldenSnitch is not an incarnation of the rare Snidget but a person,dressed ludicrously in yellow. This unfortunate individual, who is theoried to have com-mitted a heinous crime and isserving out his or her sentence,gallivants through the pitch waiting to get caught. Though this undoubtedly looks similar to a group of de-
capitated obberworms, the
sport’s popularity is growing at an astonishing rate. Indeed,a “ministry” of sorts has beenformed, calling itself the Inter-national Quidditch Association. TheIQA was incorpo-rated in 2010, near-
ly ve years afterthe rst “real-life”
game of Quidditch was played in Ver-mont, which by allaccounts is a forlorn piece of land with minimal avenues forrecreation.Presently, there are teamsall over the United States withIQA-sanctioned tournamentshappening regularly. This cul-minates in an annual Quidditch World Cup, a severe blow tothose of us who have attendedthe real thing and cannot standto see its name being draggedthrough the mud.It is not clear how theMuggles discovered Quidditch,and what’s more disarming is
the level of inltration evident.
Not only has the non-magicalpopulation taken Quidditch andmutated it beyond recognition,
but a few team names reect an
unnerving amount of knowl-edge of long-kept wiarding secrets. The Amherst Animagi,Silicon Valley Skrewts, and theNew York Badassilisks are justa few examples. Obviously,something must be done, or theentire Wiarding world may beat risk.
 JESSICA PENNELLRAVENCLAW ’14
S
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page
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report
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hestnut HillCollege hastwo advantag-es over othersmall Muggleschools in Pennsylvania:
dogs. Grifn and Kostka are
 well loved by many students. The dogs can frequently beseen frolicking by the foun-tain as students supervisetheir play-time. But are thesedogs really just dogs?Rumor has it that Grif-
n, the energetic golden
pup, might actually be theacclaimed wiard GideonFinchley. Gideon is an un-registered Animagus in GreatBritain, but his disappearancein 2001 forced his sister tocome forward with his se-cret. Gideon’s enthusiasmand liveliness blossomed ev-ery time he morphed into agolden lab.“Gideon spoke frequent-ly of traveling to the UnitedStates,” said his younger sis-ter, Gloria Finchley. She be-lieves he became bored withhis job as a historian special-iing in Muggle Culture andabandoned his life for a new one in the place he wanted to visit most.Gloria traveled to Amer-ica, seeking a golden lab with
 ANIMAGI AT CHESTNUT HILL
C
   t
   h   e   a   l   l   e   g   e   d
   g
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a spot on his back left leg. Glo-
ria conded to
The Grifn 
thatGideon’s birthmark on his leftthigh is his identifying mark.She eventually found herself at the private college observing not one dog, but two.It is Gloria’s theory thather brother’s animal-self fellin love with Kostka, the quietand gentler canine. She goeson to theorie that this dog isan Animagus as well. “Gideon was always very passionate, andhis emotions took over his ra-tional actions,” she confessed.“He could very well have fallenfor a foreign witch with similarqualities to his.” Gloria feelscertain that Gideon will nev-er return to his human statenow that he is with Kostka.Is this true? Could Grif-
n really be a wizard who
has chosen a life with fourlegs? If Gideon really lovesKostka, it would be unfairto separate the two. The besta student can do is to offer
Grifn many sugar quills, as
they were a known favoriteof Gideon Finchley’s.
LIz HERERRAHUFFLEPUFF ’15
“Mugglesbelieve thatQuidditch ismeant to beplayed onthe ground!”
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here is one Hogwartsheadmaster that willforever live in virture – forgotten by noneand remembered by all. He is none other than theGreat Albus Percival WulfricBrian Dumbledore, SupremeMugwump and Chief Warlock of the Wiagengamot.His life began in the sum-mer of 1881, born to Kendraand Percival Dumbledore. He was joined by two younger sib-lings, Aberforth and Ariana,and began to lead a normal lifeas a magical child. Due to Per-cival’s attack on Muggle chil-dren, the family was outcasted. Albus became the head of hisfamily, caring for his mother,brother and fragile Ariana. Albus attended HogwartsSchool of Witchcraft and Wi-ardry where he showed excel-lence in his studies. He was
placed in the Gryfndor House
 where his exceptional talent wasrevered and respected.His life continued in Go-dric’s Hollow, the location
of Harry Potter’s rst home.
 There Albus befriended world-renowned dark wiard, GellertGrindelwald. Their friendship would tragically end–highlight-ed by the death of Ariana. The
two wizards would later ght a
famous duel in 1945, when Al-
GREAT ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I
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R
emembRance
 
of
 
the
d
14 5/12 Y 
eaRs
L
 ateR
bus defeated Grindelwald andimprisoned him in Nurmen-gard.Dumbledore made his re-turn to Hogwarts as a Professor
of Transguration, after declin
-ing the position of Minister of Magic on several occasions. He went on to become Headmasterof Hogwarts where he took partin the education and growth of two exceptional wiards – TomRiddle and Harry Potter. He would end up dedicating his life
to the conict between the two.
On June 30th, 1997, thisrevered and admired Professor, wiard and man, faced his lastspell. His life as a friend, teach-er, sibling, mentor, and leader will never be forgotten. Hiscontributions to wiard-kindand magic itself are endless.Due to his legacy of equality and integrity in the wiarding  world, Albus Dumbledore willforever be a household name.
 JESSICA O’NEILLRAVENCLAW ’13 ALYSSA CHEREWATY HUFFLEPUFF ’13
 a
 l  B  u s 
 d
 u M B  l  e d o r  e t  a u g h t  a t 
 h
 o g w a r  t  s 
 s 
 c h o o l  o F 
 w
i   t  c h c r  a F  t  a n d
 w
i   z a r  d r  y F  o r  o v e r  s i   x t  y y e a r  s  a s 
 p 
 r  o
-
 F  e s  s  o r  o F 
 t 
 r  a n s  F i   g u r  a t i   o n a n d w a s  n a M e d
 h
 e a d M a s  t  e r  o F  t  h e s  c h o o l 
 . h
 e w a s  a r  o l  e M o d e l  F  o r  hi   s  s  t  u d e n t  s  a n d c o l  l  e a g u e s  a l i   K e
 .
T
atch out Diagon Alley, Chest-nut Hill is tak-ing over! As the weekend of theBrotherly Love cup arrives atChestnut Hill College, excite-ment and thrill brews as the
Harry Potter 
scene leaks into thelocal town. During the weekendof October 14, 2011, the quaint village of Chestnut Hill magi-cally transforms into a sceneripped right from the pages of the
Harry Potter 
series. The weekend starts withthe Opening Ceremony on Fri-day at 6 p.m. at the Top of theHill Fountain Plaa. All day Saturday the popu-lar local toy store, O’Doodlesis hosting Weasley’s Wiard Wheees from 9:30 a.m. until6 p.m. Up the street, ProfessorSprouts’ Herbology is happen-ing at Robertson’s. Then head to ChestnutHill College for some good ol’Quidditch as their tournamentkicks off at noon. Teams from various colleges and universitiesacross the East Coast will berepresenting pure Potter skill asthey compete for the ultimate win.Students from CHC’s ownMask and Foil theater troupe will provide entertainment,food, fun and games. To end
the rst day of fantasy fun, Fal
-coner Jennifer Pena will be pre-senting Hedwig the Owl at theStagecrafters Theater Groundsfrom 1 p.m. until 3 p.m.On Sunday the 15th, makesure to participate and search inthe scavenger hunt for young  witches and wiards on behalf of McNally’s Tavern. Use yourmagical minds in a fun gameof chess at the Wiards Chess Tournament at J.K. Jenks Ele-mentary School from 1:15 p.m.until 3 p.m.. And end the day ina sweet way by decorating yourown cookie at the one and only Florean Fortesue’s Ice CreamParlour (Bredenbeck’s Bakery & Ice Cream Parlor). Whetherspending the day in town or onthe college grounds, we hope
you have a fun lled and magi
-cal day!
NICOLE HEIGLHUFFLEPUFF ’14
W
H   O    G    W   A   R   T    S    O    N    T    H   E    H   I    L    L    
t  h  e   c  h  e   s  t  n   U  t  h  I   L  L  b   U   s  I   n  e   s   s  a   s   s   o   c  I   a  t  I    o  n  P  a  R  t  n  e  R  e  D  I   t  h   c  h  e   s  t  n   U  t  h  I   L  L   c   o  L  L  e   G  e   ,  s  P   o  n   s   o  R   s  t  h  e  f  I   R   s  t  h  a  R  R  Y  P   o  t  t  e  R  e  e  K  e  n  D   s  e  e  P  a   G  e   s   6   &   8  f   o  R   o  R  e  D  e  t  a  I   L   s  
2
 
ivemonths ago,I made theceremonialmarch fromthe rotunda of St. JosephHall to the lower-parking-lotgraduation tent in a Hog- warts-esque black robe to re-ceive my diploma. I left muchbehind: I was Editor-in-Chief 
of this very paper, an Ofcer
for student government andfar too many of the clubs that vied for your membership atthe Club Fair. Most notably, Ileft my slot as our campus’sQuidditch Commissioner.For the sake of brev-ity, I’ll give you the bedtime-story version of how Quid-ditch landed on our campus.In 2008, when Miley couldn’t wait to see you again and the Jersey shore was only a place,I saw a YouTube video of Middlebury College studentstackling, tossing, and Snitch-catching, all atop woodenbrooms. Strangely, it worked,and at that moment I knew the sport of Quidditch was
a perfect t for Chestnut Hill
College (a real-life Hogwartsif there ever was one). Later
that year, we hosted our rst-
ever Quidditch on the Hilltournament with four teams,followed by an incrediblethird-place win at the Quid-ditch World Cup in Middle-bury, VT, beating teams fromthe likes of Louisiana StateUniversity and PrincetonUniversity. We took the World Cupby storm. Our team arrivedto the cheers of an entire fanbus, which embarked on thenine-hour drive at midnight
that day. The Grifns were
the only team with a mas-cot and had custom-madejerseys; our chaplain, FatherRick Malloy, wooed news net- works with his “sacred sax”-playing. The team’s trip, en-tirely funded and supportedby the College, was followed
Letter from chc quidditch founder
F
up with an awards ceremony and many hallway congratula-tions in the weeks after. While the rest--that is, twomore stellar World Cup perfor-mances, ESPN appearances,and hosting one of the EastCoast’s biggest tournaments– seems like history, there ismuch we take for granted. Oursmallness and close-knit envi-
ronment afford us benets far
beyond small class sies, ben-
ets we can only understand
 when put into perspective. AtChestnut Hill, unlike many in-stitutions, Quidditch is a com-munity effort: Athletics lends
the soccer eld for tourna
-ments; Institutional Advance-ment helps prepare studentsfor press interviews; Student Activities, among other invalu-able tasks, helps order essen-tials like t-shirts, equipment,and jerseys; Sister Carol cheersthe team on from the sidelines. At other institutions, par-ticularly larger ones, Quidditchis often overlooked by admin-istration and its players must
ght uphill battles for fund
-ing and recognition. The teamat Philly’s own University of Pennsylvania, for example, isseeking funding that cannot ex-ceed $750 (barely enough for astarter set of equipment). New  York University’s team foughta widely-publicied battle withadministration over its part-sport, part-club status. As you begin or end yourjourney at Chestnut Hill, I chal-lenge you to not take your in-stitution’s sie for granted, butto use it to your advantage atevery opportunity. You will sel-
dom nd a college that can so
 whole-heartedly back a studentinitiative as magical as Quid-ditch (which, I might add, our
ne administration saw po
-tential in far before it was the Wall Street Journal cover story that it is today). If you take my  words of advice you’ll not only get your galleons’ worth, butyou’ll have far more than sevenbooks of stories to share by theend.Mischief Managed,Max KaplanPublic Relations DirectorInt’l Qudditch Association
M
 ax 
 aplan
, p
uBlic
elations
d
irector 
 
oF
 
 the
iQa
pos
-
ing
 
 with
 
 a
Q
uidditch
 
Fan
 
 at
 
 the
 
First
B
rotherly 
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ove
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up
 
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By 
c
hestnut
h
ill
c
ollege
 
in
2010. p
hoto
 
contriButed
 
By 
M
 ax 
 aplan
.
MUGGLE:
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  t   h  a  t  t   h  e  w   i  z  a  r   d   i  n  g  w  o  r   l   d  c  o  n  t   i  n  u  o  u  s   l  y  c  o  n   d  o  n  e  s .   E   l  v  e  s   h  a  v  e   d  e  s   i  r  e  s  ;  t   h  e  y  c  a  n   f  e  e   l  p   h  y  s   i  c  a   l  p  a   i  n .   B  u  t  t   i  m  e  a   f  t  e  r  t   i  m  e ,  w  e   l   l -  e  s  t  a   b -   l   i  s   h  e   d   f  a  m   i   l   i  e  s  a   b  u  s  e  a  n   d   d  e  g  r  a   d  e  t   h  e  e   l   f   i   d  e  n  t   i  t  y .   E   l  v  e  s  a  r  e  a  r  a  c  e  o   f  c  o  u  r  a  g  e  a  n   d  c  u  n -  n   i  n  g .   T   h  e  y  c  a  n  w   i   l   l   i  n  g -   l  y  s  e  r  v  e  a  s   f  r   i  e  n   d  a  n   d
  c  o  n      d  a  n  t  e  t  o  t   h  o  s  e
  w   h  o  g  a   i  n  t   h  e   i  r  r  e  s  p  e  c  t .   T  a   k  e   D  o   b   b  y ,  a   h  o  u  s  e -  e   l   f  w   h  o   h  a  s  s  e  r  v  e   d  s  o   d  e  p  e  n   d  a   b   l  y  t  o  t   h  e  m  a   l   i  c   i  o  u  s   M  a   l   f  o  y   f  a  m -   i   l  y .   D  o   b   b  y ,   f  o  r  c  e   d   i  n  t  o  s  e  r  v   i   l   i  t  y ,  w  a  s   f  a   i  t   h -   f  u   l  u  n  t   i   l  t   h  e  e  n   d ,   b  u  t  s  m  a  r  t  e  n  o  u  g   h  t  o   b  r  e  a   k   f  r  o  m  t   h  e   d  o  m  e  s  t   i  c  r  e   i  g  n  t  o   h  e   l  p  o  u  t  a   d  e  a  r   f  r   i  e  n   d  a  n   d  e  q  u  a   l ,   H  a  r  r  y   P  o  t  t  e  r .   W   h  y  a  r  e  t   h  e  o  t   h  e  r  w   i  t  c   h  e  s  a  n   d  w   i  z  a  r   d  s  o   f  o  u  r  t   i  m  e   i  n  c  a  p  a   b   l  e  o   f  e  n  c  o  u  r -  a  g   i  n  g  a   b  a   l  a  n  c  e  o   f  p  o  w  e  r  s   ?   C  a  n  y  o  u  n  o  t  s  e  e  t   h  e  s  t  r  e  n  g  t   h  s  t   h  a  t  e   l  v  e  s  e  x  e  r  t   ?   A   d   i  v   i  s   i  o  n   h  a  s   b  e  e  n  m  a   d  e   b  e  t  w  e  e  n   d   i   f   f  e  r  e  n  c  e  s   i  n   b   l  o  o   d .   E   l  v  e  s  a  r  e  n  o  w  a   d  a  m -  a  g  e   d  r  a  c  e ,  w  o  r  n  w   i  t   h  w  r   i  n   k   l  e  s  a  n   d  c   l  o  a   k  e   d   i  n  n  o  t   h   i  n  g   b  u  t  t  a  t  t  e  r  e   d   b  u  r   l  a  p  s  a  c   k  s .   B  e  c  a  u  s  e  o   f  t   h  e  p  r  e   j   u   d   i  c  e  s  o   f   “  p  u  r  e -   b   l  o  o   d   ”  e   l   i  t   i  s  t  s ,  t   h  o  s  e  w   h  o   l  o  o   k   d   i   f -   f  e  r  e  n  t  a  r  e  s  e  t  a  p  a  r  t  a  n   d   d   i  s  g  r  a  c  e   d .   M  a  y   b  e  t   h  e  s  e  v   i   l  e   f  a  m   i   l   i  e  s  a  r  e  s   i  m  p   l  y  t  o  o  s  t  u  p   i   d  t  o  u  n   d  e  r  s  t  a  n   d  t   h  e   i  r  a  c -  t   i  o  n  s .   T   h  e  y  c  a  n  n  o  t  s  e  e  p  a  s  t  t   h  e   i  r   i  n  s   i  p   i   d  a  r -  r  o  g  a  n  c  e  t  o  m  a   k  e  a  r  e  a   l  c   h  a  n  g  e .   B  u  t  t   h  e  p  r  o   b -   l  e  m   i  s  s  e  e  m   i  n  g   l  y  o  n  a   h   i  g   h  e  r   l  e  v  e   l ,   i  n  v  o   l  v   i  n  g  t   h  e  p  a  r   d  o  n   i  n  g   b  y  t   h  e  e  n  t   i  r  e  m  a  g   i  c  c  o  m  m  u -  n   i  t  y .   I   h  a  v  e  c  o  n  t  a  c  t  e   d  t   h  e   M   i  n   i  s  t  r  y  o   f   M  a  g   i  c  s  e  v  e  r  a   l  t   i  m  e  s  t   h  r  o  u  g   h   h  e  a  v   i   l  y -  w  o  r   d  e   d  m  a   i   l  a  n   d  p  e  r  t   i  n  e  n  t  p  r  o  t  e  s  t .   H  o  w  e  v  e  r ,  m  y  a  c  t   i  o  n  s   h  a  v  e   b  e  e  n  t  u  r  n  e   d   d  o  w  n ,   b  e  a  t  e  n  t  o  t   h  e  s  a  m  e   d   i  s  g  r  a  c  e  a  s  t   h  e  e   l   f  s  o  c   i  e  t  y .   I   f  y  o  u   h  a  v  e  a  n  y  q  u  e  s  t   i  o  n  s ,  c  o  n  c  e  r  n  s ,  o  r  y  o  u  w  o  u   l   d   l   i   k  e  t  o   j   o   i  n  m  y  q  u  e  s  t   f  o  r  e   l   f  e  q  u  a   l   i  t  y  p   l  e  a  s  e  s  e  n   d  a  n  o  w   l  t  o  t   h  e   S  o  c   i  e  t  y   f  o  r  t   h  e   P  r  o  m  o  t   i  o  n  o   f   E   l   f -
   i  s   h   W  e   l   f  a  r  e  o   f     c  e .
    W   a   r   m    l   y ,
   H  e  r  m   i  o  n  e   G  r  a  n  g  e  r
    F    O    R     T    H    E    F    U    T    U    R    E
isgraceful? Yes. Un-acceptable? Com-pletely. A blow to wiards everywhere?Certainly. Yet most frighten-ing about the Muggles’ recentadoption of Quidditch is thepath that led them there. How did muggles, devoid of all magi-cal ability, delve so deeply intoour society as to learn the se-crets of Quidditch? And exactly how far did they get? I, in a se-ries of courageous and admira-ble interviews, have uncoveredthe startling truth. And here itis: the Muggles are planning anuprising. Though Muggles playing Quidditch may not seem like
the rst step in a revolt, it un
-doubtedly is. What else would
necessitate their inltration? In
-deed, my source from the mys-terious, all-powerful and cor-rupt International Quidditch Association has proven my keen instincts. The IQA is com-
prised of top government of
-cials, and is the foremost ruling body in the Muggle community.I’ve been told exclusively, thatMuggles have been aware of our existence for “a while now,”and “the time for revolution hascome.”Up until now, MuggleQuidditch has been seen as aminor annoyance, a blip onmost wiards’ radar. My originalassumption attributed the Mug-gles’ knowledge to a breach insecurity from within the Min-istry. Or perhaps as a bartering 
chip by the Head of the Ofcefor the Detection and Consca
-tion of Counterfeit DefensiveSpells and Protective Objects touncover the Muggle enigma of 
eckletricity 
. However, since thisnew evidence has come to light,I fear the truth is far more dire. Although the method of Mug-gle invasion is still under inves-tigation (see my article in next week’s
Grifn 
 ), we now know 
their nal goal: to take over and
rid the world of magic.I won’t bore my readers with dreary details, but rest as-sured that the facts have been
 veried: the Muggles are plan
-ning a mutiny, and the wi-arding population must beprepared. Despite their lack of powers, Muggles do havenumbers on their side. I pro-pose a proactive approach: westrike while they are still prepar-ing. This may seem harsh, butmy readers know that I wouldnever suggest such a thing if it wasn’t absolutely imperative. The Muggles have integratedthemselves into our world, andare plotting domination. Quid-
ditch is the rst step. Destruc
-tion of everything we hold dearis the second.
D
NARGLES
 While on expedition in Cen-tral Europe, world renownedmagioologist, Luna Lovegood,located a colony of Nargles.Previous to her discovery, thespecies was assumed to be ex-tinct, if not mythical. Lovegoodreports over 200 were inhabit-ing a single plant of misletoe. While the creatures are not ag-gressive, the colony did attemptto steal Lovegood’s belongingson numerous occasions. “I’llnever leave without my radishearrings again,” Lovegood says. Allegedly, the jewelry worksas Nargle repellent. Lovegoodcreated them herself. Unfor-tunately, the naturalist says she will not be selling the protectiveitems.
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