A BIBLICAL PORTRAIT OF MARRIAGE

Session 11

COMMUNICATION: Speak the Truth in LoveIntroduction

Not long ago after the wedding, couples often experience difficulty incommunicating. Some retreat behind silence. . .some erupt in anger. . .andsome fail to listen.Illustration:My first experience to ride in a ship put me in trouble because of communication. I went to the CR and placed my soap on the washing table anda man came and said, “Imo ni habon.” I said, “No.” I was surprised he took mysoap and left.Interaction:

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Why do we need to communicate in marriage?

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Why do couples do not communicate or what causes poor communication?-Jesus is called “logos” the Word of God. It means He is the Word of God,speech of God. Then it was said, “the heavens declare the glory of theLord.”-God has given us His Word, the Bible to communicate His heart.-The problem in communication is seen everywhere among children toparents, husband and wife etc.-Many counselors say that the breakdown/conflict in marriage starts withpoor communication.-Again, I am not going to present to you what the world says aboutcommunication by presenting 10 ways but we will see the Bible and learn whatGod is teaching us about it.

Martin Luther

says,Think of all the squabbles Adam and Eve must have had in the course of their nine hundred years. Eve would say, ‘you ate the apple’, and Adam wouldretort, ‘you gave it to me.’-Did you notice that ‘little things bother us.”

Dennis Rainey

says,“Conflict often starts with something small, even inconsequential. Assomeone has said, people who claim that small things don’t bother them never slept in a room with a mosquito.”

How do you communicate?

-Tongue is used as a tool to communicate.

In what ways is the tongue pictured in Scripture?

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Horse and bitJames 3:3

, “Indeed, we put bits in horses’ mouths that they may obey us,and we turn their whole body.”

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Ship and rudder James 3:4

, “Look at the ships: although they are so large and are driven byfierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilotdesires.”

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Boasting tongueJames 3:5a

, “Even to the tongue is a little member and boasts great things.”-“I’m am great.” “ I am number one.” Pride.

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Tongue as fireJames 3:5b-6

, “See how great a forest a little fire kindles. And the tongue isa fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that itdefiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature, and it is set onfire by hell.”-Tongue destroys a marriage.

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Tongue as serpentProverbs 18:21

, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and thosewho love it will eat its fruit.”-It speaks lie just what happened in the garden of Eden.

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Tongue as swordProverbs 12:18

, “There is one who speaks like the piercing of a sword, butthe tongue of the wise promotes health.”

-Tongue can cut a person or marriage.

What fundamental principles of communication are presented in James1:19?

Swift to hear-“Say it again please. I didn’t understand you. Can yourepeat it.”

Slow to speak-Not listening but preparing to say the word while the other is still speaking.3.Slow to wrath-Why do you think wrath is included? Because one reasonfor conflict in communication is anger.-Wrath is the problem of communication.

James 1:26

, “If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle histongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless.”-You and your tongue.

What is the proper response to anger?A soft, gentle answer.

Proverbs 15:1

, “a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs upanger.”How does Ephesians 4:25-32 portray godly communication?

Ephesians 4:25-26:

Don’t lie. Lying comes out of mouth destroys communication