Welcome to Scribd, the world's digital library. Read, publish, and share books and documents. See more
Download
Standard view
Full view
of .
Look up keyword
Like this
2Activity
0 of .
Results for:
No results containing your search query
P. 1
Lavish Marriages

Lavish Marriages

Ratings: (0)|Views: 46|Likes:
Published by Sajid
Ever since I have written a few notes on Youth, career and marriages, many readers often ask me how much should they spend on their wedding? Some even inquire if it is alright to bow to family pressure if they spend lavishly on the reception (hosted by the bride's father) and umpteen items on the menu of waleema. What if our parents can afford the lavish reception (again hosted by the bride's father)? (article by Nisaar Nadiadwala)
Ever since I have written a few notes on Youth, career and marriages, many readers often ask me how much should they spend on their wedding? Some even inquire if it is alright to bow to family pressure if they spend lavishly on the reception (hosted by the bride's father) and umpteen items on the menu of waleema. What if our parents can afford the lavish reception (again hosted by the bride's father)? (article by Nisaar Nadiadwala)

More info:

Published by: Sajid on Oct 18, 2011
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

Availability:

Read on Scribd mobile: iPhone, iPad and Android.
download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
See more
See less

03/30/2013

pdf

text

original

 
The Big Bang Weddings : How Grand Are Our Weddings? 
Ever since I have written a few notes on Youth, career and marriages, many readersoften ask me how much should they spend on their wedding? Some even inquire if it isalright to bow to family pressure if they spend lavishly on the reception (hosted bythe bride's father) and umpteen items on the menu of waleema. What if our parentscan afford the lavish reception (again hosted by the bride's father)?Well there is no upper limit in the hadith as far as the number of invitees in thewaleema are concerned. One of the son in law of the Prophet was Uthman bin Affan r.a. He married two daughters of the Prophet (pbuh) one after the death ofanother, and was one of the richest man among the sahaba. The man who sponsoredhuge expenditure of one third of the entire Islamic army in one of the battles yethe did not invite the same men in either of his waleema except a handful ! Somethingworth to be noticed. Abdul Rahman bin Auf r.a. did not invite the Prophet (pbuh) inhis wedding and the Prophet did not feel bad about it. Many of us may find this verystrange because in our times being invited to a wedding has become a status andprivileged.Our marriages are becoming more complicated. Even a middle class personenergetically thinks about the numbers of dishes to serve in his daughter or son'smarriage. Preparations begin months ahead. Expenditure behind the preparation itselfruns high.
“So
what? We can afford it " Comes a common reply. Right! We can affordit.! But if we refer back to the hadith that states that no person will be allowed tomove from his place on the day of Qiyamah till he gives the account of where did hespend his money as well. Even if it is your Halal earnings yet it would be requiredto justify his expenses..Now use this hadith as a parameter..Go through the list of the menu of theReception. 1, 2, 3...6...10....! Chinese, Italian... Moghlai... count the variety ofsalads...Just have a look at the stock of ice cream.. I don't mean to say that havingice cream or distributing ice creams is haram but look at the way the Ice creamsscream in our marriages.Consider this... Last week there were news about increase in the rates of milk inMumbai.. The house wives who objected increase in the rates of milk, the same housewives are fond of buying ice-creams worth four times the rates of milk. In Mumbai,one litre of milk costs around a dollar ie. 48 INR, but one kg of branded ice-cream costs around 200 /INR i.e. 4 Dollars!The Agro Ministry of India say that the ice cream industry is worth 15 billion Rupees inIndia, and 40 percent of that ice cream is consumed in the western India. FromAhmedabad to Mumbai Ice creams float like foams over sea. In our marriages icecreams have become a staple food. The rates of ice creams in wedding are quotedhigher like the other items in the venue. How many weddings take place in Mumbai
 
every year? There are no less than 500 wedding Halls in Mumbai alone which cater tohigher middle class. How many marriages take place in these halls every year? InMumbai..In Karachi... in Lahore... keep counting how many guest push down icecreams into their throats after eating chicken tandooris, biryanis, noodles, seek andshami kebabs....Just one example..Now assemble the rest of the expenditure youplan to have in your wedding and think how many days will it take you to give theaccounts to Allah and justify it?So how grand should your wedding be? Before you answer to your own self, know thatthere is no grandeur like simplicity.. See you in your wedding...Ponder into this Qur'anic verse...Surah Araf ch 7... Verse 157... The Prophet releasesthem from their heavy burden and from yokes..... Nikah that were supposed to be asimple affair has become a yoke on the community. Our weddings are like Big Bangtheory. Like the big explosion that blew particles in every direction and went onstretching its space, our big bang weddings have explosions that blow our money inall the directions, Haldi- Mehdi, Expensive make ups, Multi-cuisine receptions,Wedding coats and Dresses for entire family, lavish invitation cards... the list keepson stretching like the universe after the Big Bang Theory...A Muslimah, who is the daughter of a very rich man, was getting married so sheinsisted that her wedding be simple, and she argued profoundly and courtesy with hermother and it went on for days till she got her point across. Throughout herdiscussion, her argument was simple and straight: Why should my father celebrate mydeparture in a grand manner? The parents smiled. The Islamic daughter's instancesaved more than half a million Indian Rupees of her father. Moral of the story? Most ofus give up to the pressure of parents and other elders of the family, instead of talkingto them with respect and politeness. If we be little firm towards deen our parents willalso get inclined inshallah.A few months back a friend of mine invited me to his wedding and waleema. It wasmore like an event than like a wedding. It was an event in actual term. There was anevent manager, staffed with an anchor who was giving a running commentary of theactivities going on there along with jokes and all. I found it strange like a TV realityshow. At times it becomes uncomfortable for us to respond at that time. It was thenthat I was introduced to a new trend in weddings.People are handing over their wedding management to event planners.
Marriage is a big Industry. A new industry of around $11, growing at 25 percentannually (http://sepiamutiny.com/blog/2005/11/21/the_economics_o/)
 The Indian and Pakistani weddings are famous worldwide. Even the poor want toimitate this grandeur in his own way. Years ago, a young man, who worked with at my
 
uncle's grocery shop in a small village, was getting married. He asked for a loan of tenthousand rupees in those days. It was ten times of his salary. My uncle explained butin vain. The young man borrowed money from his relatives and friends and in fewyears he had to sell of his house to repay his debt. There are thousands of youngIndians and Pakistanis who go out of their way to celebrate their wedding on thingswhich are enjoyed for only few hours. This has promoted even the banks to come outwith loans for weddings, as they say in Gujarati.. Where ever there are greedypeople, frauds and
cheaters don’t
go hungry...The minimum budget for a wedding ceremony is $34,000, say wedding planners, whilethe upper-middle and rich classes are known to spend upward of $2 million. (Theaverage American wedding costs $26,327.)
This doesn’t include cash and valuables
given as part of a dowry. Yesterday's Times of India reported that the British Muslimsspend a lot on stage decoration and Mehdi ceremony! With the medhi artists andmakeup artists charging around 300 to 500 pounds , weddings are getting expensiveglobally as average Asian wedding in UK costs around 40 -50 thousand poundsequivalent to 300000 Rupees !!Two years ago The Time Magazine had published an article The
Big Fat IndianWedding Grows Bigger and Fatter
(http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1653427,00.html#ixzz1b1F8xq3Z)showing how much money Indians spend on their wedding. The article did not haveany moral or lesson except that it spoke big and loud about such marriages. In a layman's language it glamorized and encouraged such marriages.
 A group of Sikh leaders called for a July 28 meeting of representatives from New 
Delhi’s more than 400 Sikh gurdwaras, or temple
s, to discuss ways to rein in over-the-
top weddings… the Sikh leaders said the deluxe wedding trend puts an unfair burden on brides’ families, who traditionally pay for the parties.
 
http://nitawriter.wordpress.com/2007/08/22/high-wedding-expenditure-is-a-disease-in-indian-society/.
 I wait for the day our Masajids also call such meetings and rein our expenditures inweddings..
With no malice towards anyone who is getting married in nearfuture.....
Mean whileAuthor : Nisaar Nadiadwala speaks and writes on socio-educational issues from IslamicPerspective. He can be reached at nisaar_yusuf@yahoo.comRegards,
Sajid Holy
 

You're Reading a Free Preview

Download
scribd
/*********** DO NOT ALTER ANYTHING BELOW THIS LINE ! ************/ var s_code=s.t();if(s_code)document.write(s_code)//-->