name______________________ uaLe_____________

CaLegory 6073 7483 86100

volce 8aslc wrlLlng WrlLlng may lack ln
one or more of Lhe followlng
areas enLhuslasm deLall
personallLy 1he overall feel of
Lhe pleces ls [usL hohum"
volce ls evldenL however more
work could be done 1he plece ls
average buL noL overly exclLlng
SLrong volce evldenL 1hls could
be used as an exemplar non
Lyplcal descrlpLlve words are
used Lo add a flavor" Lo Lhe
plece 1hls plece ls engaglng and
full of personallLy
8ecounL LvenLs are presenL buL many are
ouL of order 1hls plece sklps
around a loL and mlghL be hard Lo
follow
evenLs are ln chronologlcal
order buL a few may be ouL of
place
verbs are noL ln Lhe pasL
Lense A blL of verb Lense shlfLlng
l ran home" l run home"
evenLs should be ln a
chronologlcal order
verbs should be ln Lhe pasL
Lense
Maklng connecLlons
O 1exL Lo self
O 1exL Lo LexL
O 1exL Lo world

lus Lhe So WhaL" facLor
An aLLempL aL a personal
connecLlon buL lacklng enough
deLall

Cnly one connecLlon ls made
mlsslng Lhe oLher Lwo
lece has a good connecLlon Lo
Lhe auLhor's
memorles/experlences buL more
deLall would help make Lhls
sLronger
1he so whaL" facLor ls llmlLed or
mlsslng
lece conLalns boLh a connecLlon
Lo Lhe auLhor's
memorles/experlences - has
Lhe so whaL" facLor Why dld
you wrlLe Lhls plece? Pow are
you dlfferenL because of Lhe
evenLs?
lnference
Show vs 1ell
1hls plece reads more llke a
shopplng llsL SenLences are more
facL based and Lhen l" 1he
reader doesn'L really have Lo
plece much lnformaLlon LogeLher
because lL ls all rlghL Lhere
1hls plece conLalns boLh show and
Lell evenLs 1he auLhor ls maklng
an aLLempL Lo have Lhe reader dlg
deeper for some conLenL
1hls plece allows Lhe reader Lo
see evenLs raLher Lhan [usL be
Lold 1he level of wrlLlng conLalns
enough depLh LhaL Lhe reader has
Lo sLay engaged wlLh Lhe plece
and needs Lo puL clues LogeLher

SLudenL commenLs/grade





1eacher commenLs/grade
name______________________ uaLe_____________