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Style Invitational Week 317 Results (One-Entry Contests)

Style Invitational Week 317 Results (One-Entry Contests)

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Published by Pat Myers

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Published by: Pat Myers on Oct 21, 2011
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First Contest Singular: Results of Week 317 of The StyleInvitationalThe contest was to come up with a contest idea for which therewould be only one good entry:
(Reprinted from The Style Invitational of May 2, 1999.See the encorepresentation of this contest, Week 942,atwashingtonpost.com/styleinvitational.)© The Washington Post. If reprinting any of these entries, please credit ThePost, the writers of the entries, and The Style Invitational, and online pleaselink to its website,washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational.
Third Runner-Up:
A contest to name a medical practice that specializes intreating only elephantiasis and elephant man's disease. Winner:Pachydermatology. (Dave Garratt, Bowie, Md.)
Second Runner-Up:
A contest to come up with an unfortunate real-lifename for a line of women's clothing. Winner: Sag Harbor. (Sandra Hull,Arlington, Va.)
First Runner-Up:
A contest to come up with the name of a computer virusthat deletes only old, useless files. Winner: The Kevorkian Virus. (KevinRowan, Washington)
And the winner of the Chick Sales Barometer:
A contest to come up withan inspirational slogan for Cathy Rigby, the former bulimic who playedPeter Pan on Broadway. Winner: "I won't throw up, I won't throw up."(Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, Va.)
Honorable Mentions:
A contest to propose an even worse name for Baltimore's football stadiumthan PSINet Stadium. Winner: Ravensbruck. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)
A contest to name a chain of grocery stores featuring a full-service deli, abakery and a brothel. Winner: Shopper's Food Whorehouse. (MalcolmVisser, Burke)A contest to come up with a fish dish for a restaurant on Route 355 inMontgomery County. Winner: Rockville Pike. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)A contest to come up with a name for a new movie about a relief pitcherwho must come in when the great, aging starter runs out of gas. Winner:"Saving Nolan Ryan." (Art Grinath, Takoma Park)A contest to name a sophisticated expose of corruption in the plumbingindustry. Winner: "J'accuzzi." (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)A contest to come up with a new modeling clay, endorsed by HomerSimpson. Winner: Doh. (Ralph Kass, Potomac)A contest to come up with a title for a how-to manual that doesn't insultthe reader. Winner: "Ventriloquism for Dummies." (Jonathan Paul, GarrettPark)A contest to come up with a witty response to someone who says, "Can yougive me an anagram for the word "on"? Answer: "No." (Joseph Romm,Washington)A contest to come up with the best secondary use of a cigar. Winner:Smoking it. (Alan Orloff, Herndon)
Rookie of the Week:
A contest to come up with an ideal title for a book on how to becondescending. Winner: "Even You Can Learn to Be Condescending!"(Richard Henry, Baltimore)
And Last:
A contest to come up with an inanely derivative, self-referential contest.Winner:

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