Straight Talk, February 2011
We all feel good and special when we receive a gift. We show love with gifts but bad gifts can get us into trouble.
"Your boy orgirlfriend may demand formoney, clothesand birthday presents. If you don't havemoney, youcan steal to get what they want. A certain boy usedto steal for his girlfriend money fromtheir shop. He was taken to schooland beaten before other students."
C Acio, 17, S1, Royal Academy, Lira
"I told my girlfriend that forcingme to give you money will makeme steal. I will be imprisoned andstudents will laugh at you that youare a thief’s girlfriend."
S Wandera,Kubo Straight Talk Club, Busia
“I fear fallingin love becauseof money. Ihave seen boysborrow money to give their girl friends and failto pay back.They quarreland become enemies
."C Opolot,Bukooli College, Bugiri
“Guys give a lot of money to theirgirlfriends for fear of being dropped. A certain boy used his school fees. Helied to his parents that it was stolen
When girls de-tooth
“My girlfriend loves money morethan me yet I love her. I really don'tknow what to do.”
R Ssegawa,Bwanga SS, Rukungiri
Not all girls de-dooth
Some of them do not trick their guysto give them money or gifts.
“I can't use excuses like it is late,I can’t walk home, I’m broke to getmoney from my guy. This is wrong.”
FUwera, S5, Kabale Trinity College V Nalubidde V, 14, S1, Bright Way SS, Kampala, says:
“We treateach other with respect. We don't beg from each other.”
"I love for a reason and the reasonis love not sex or material things.”
Z Nesia, Metu SS, Moyo.
If someone gives you a gift or money, ask yourself the followingquestions before you take it.Why is the person giving me money or gifts? What does he/ she expect in return? Is the moneyor gifts more important than mylife? What are the outcomes of accepting them? Can I show thegifts to my parents? If you realise someone wants to use gifts or money to trap you into sex, takeoff for your dear life. Have self-control.
Set limits, make your stand clear
At the beginning of your relationship,talk to your girlfriend or guy about what you expect from each other.Make your stand known. If it is for
Students of Iganga Parents say: "Sex is not getting finished now. Delay sex and work hard to excel."
from the dormitory.”
M Ajok,17,S3,Y.Y Okot Memorial SS, Kitgum
"A certain boy came homeand asked me to have sex withhim. I refused. One day, we metsomewhere. He gave me money.This made me think he loved me. Iaccepted to have sex with him. I felta lot of pain."
T Nakaseeta, S3,Gayaza Road SS, Wakiso
marriage, then you wait. If it is forsex, then you put an end to it. If youcan't abstain, let it be good sex. Goodsex does not hurt your studies, causediseases and is not forced. Settinglimits is not a hard task. Some straighttalkers are doing it
“We agreed to remain virgins tillmarriage.”
P Rata, 16, Yumbe SS
M Kule M,19, S6, Semuliki HS,Bundibugyo, says:
"I allow thebrain to control my sexual desires notthe desires to control my brain. WhenI’m going to meet my girlfriend, Ialways tell a friend to accompany me so that I’m not tempted to touch.Sticking to my decision of saying NOto sex makes me acool boy.”
Self-control is theability to controlone’s emotions,behaviour anddesire to obtaina rewardlater. It is alsocalled self regulation.You can control your sexual feelings like Kule.
Relationships are based on honesty,respect and love. Love is more thansex.
Relationships should be defined by friendship.
C Ocan, 19, S6, Green Light College,Kitgum, says:
“I have a girlfriend. Idon’t give her money or demand for sex.Sometimes, I give her natural flowers as asign of love. They are free. I get them fromschool. I don’t expect her to pay back.”
Make your babe or dude feel special without necessarily splashing cash or material things.
• Just call and say, "I love you.” This will
“kill” her softly.
• If you don’t have a phone, write a letter
and tell her how you feel about her. A poem might even be more exciting.
• Find time for each other. Meet in an open
place to avoid temptations.
• Go out together. You do not need to spend
money. You can just go jogging together.
• Call her home when your parents are
around and tell them it’s your day in thekitchen and make a good meal for the family.
MAKE YOUR PARTNER FEEL SPECIAL
I’m keeping sexout of my love
Don't let anyone give you excuseslike; love without sex is like tea without sugar. You can have arelationship without sex just like thesereaders.
M Juliet, S4, Dabani Girls,Busia, says:
“I avoid lonely places,alcohol and pornographic materials.If my partner introduces sex talk, Itell him how nice it is to keep ourpromise of abstaining.”
R Sabiri, S6, ST Aloysius College,Zombo, says:
“We keep ourselvesbusy with sports. I enjoy watching my sweetheart running.”“I speak out. This helps me keep my virginity.”
D Nambozo, 15, S3, Bududa SS,Mbale
• Read a book and watch a movie
• Go to a weekly market
• Make jokes.• Help her to carry home
a jerry can of water.
Denis Pato, Peer Educator, STF
Make sure you do notharm yourselves
• Respect each other.• Don’t pretend to be what
you are not.
• Some of you said in the Lugbara,
Kupsabiny, and Runyoro/ Rutoro StraightTalk radio shows that you use sweet words like; You're charming and blazing, whenever I miss you, stars fall from thesky, my life is incomplete without you, youare the light of my life to melt the hearts of your lovers
Be honest. Mean what you say. Don't usethese nice words for the sake of it.
DIC TION AR Y
D ude - G u y
C h ic / Ba be - G i r l