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NIELZINE#84

NIELZINE#84

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Published by Nielzine
Seven Years and still kicking my ass! wait! I mean..Seven years and still shat my pants....No that's not right either. Dammit! I meant seven mules kicked....oh never mind. burp. Martin Freebase on poem 'Women are considered similar" and Matt Snope on Abe Cover art.
Seven Years and still kicking my ass! wait! I mean..Seven years and still shat my pants....No that's not right either. Dammit! I meant seven mules kicked....oh never mind. burp. Martin Freebase on poem 'Women are considered similar" and Matt Snope on Abe Cover art.

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Published by: Nielzine on Oct 22, 2011
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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05/22/2012

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TheotherdayIwasfeelingnonchalant.IthoughtmaybeIwaslackingsomesortofvitaminsoIwenttothebathroomcabinetforaremedy.Maybeamultivitaminformyoverallheathwouldbenice.MaybesomeZincformymanliness.Agingkobilobaactuallysoundsgoodtogetthosebraincellsfiredup.Justthensomecatsoutsidemybackwindowstartedthatcreepyfighttalkthatalwaysgivesmethewillies..So
I
leanedovertothewindowandusedmystockedsentenceof"Getouttahereyapukes!"storedinmybrainforoccasionsuchascatsfightingnexttobathroom,dogsshittinginmyyard,localkidsplayingcheerfullyonmylawn,hippieswithhulahoopsandreligiousdoorknockingpests.WhenIwassatisfied
I
hadscaredoffthesefurryunholybeastsfromthepremises
I
lookedinthebathroommirrorandpoppedazitonmynosebeforegoingbacktomymenagerieofvitamins.Igrabbedabottleopenedthetopandpoppedapillinmymouth.Nowater,justcheweditupas
I
startedtheshower.Ithoughtthecombinationofmypill,shower,warmdinnerandacoldbeerwouldkickstartmyevening.ImappedoutalltheerrandsIwasgoingtoaccomplishthiseveningasmyeyelidsstartedtogetweary.Weary?That'snotthedirectionIwanttogo.Whatthehell?Iwasgettinglooseasagoosebytheminute.Igetouttheshowerandmybrainhasonelastthoughttocheckthatvitaminbottle.Sureenoughitwasavitamin,Melatonin,great.Iwenttothekitchenandtookabiteofmychickenandricebowl.Wavedtomybeerintherefrigeratorandheavyfootedmyselftobed.Allattheripehourof6:00p.m.onlytobeabruptlywokenupbymywifecominghomefromschoolthinkingIwasouthow.lingatthemoonandpastedoutat7O'clock.(Iwishthatwasthecase)Iexplainedmydilemmaandwentbacktosleeponlytohavehorrificdreamsofaneyelesscreatureonarollercoasterandfinallybeingawakenyetagaintothosedamncatsfightingonthesideofthehouse.SothereIlaidwideeyedandfullyalertat3O'clockinthemorning.Themoraltothisstoryis(pleasefillinmoralhere)
WelcometoNIELZINE#84
Iknow,Iknowthatstorysucked.Sorry.ItgetsbetterafterthisflrstaagebecauseInolongerwriteanyofit.Burp.IdidwriteapopsongtheotherdaythatIwillsharewithyouforboringyouwiththatlaststory.Anapology.Redemption.Sohereitgoes!
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Waitwaitwait....Manl'rnsorry.Damnthatsongwouldnevermakeitontheradio.I'msuchaloser.
 
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