Driving away from the city, out onto the open road, I couldn’t get comfortable in Brody’s
little Hyundai Elantra. It was a perfectly fine car for him, but I was used to my Mini-van,not to mention to being the driver and the one to control the speed, lane changes and of course most important of all, the radio. Pulling onto the freeway I felt slightlyclaustrophobic and aware of this weird nervous energy between the two of us that wasdriving me nuts. I was
as though I didn’t know how to act
around him without the chaoticinterruptions that had become such a constant in our lives. With four kids, two careers and
twenty five years of marriage, we’d forgotten how to be a couple.
At least I had.On our way to a wedding in Arizona in the middle of August, I was less than enthusedabout this trip. In fact,
if I’d had my way, I wouldn’t have even come along. Joseph wasone of Brody’s friends
from college that I barely remembered, and Arizona in August wasunbearably hot. Why Brody wanted to attend was beyond me, and yet he had been insistent
that we both go, pointing out the fact that we hadn’t been away, just the two of us, sincebefore the twins were born nearly eleven years ago. He said we’d have a post celebration of
my recent 43
birthday that had been overlooked due to our 22 year old
emergency appendectomy. Shifting in my seat, I nearly spilled my coffee that was resting inthe cup holder between us.Brody reached over, put his hand on my leg, and without looking, asked if I was okay.
“I’m used to a bigger car, that’s all,” I said.
“Is it?” he asked.
“That all that’s
“I’m not bothered,” I l
ied, wondering if that had sounded as defensive to him as it had tome.
“You seem jittery
Andi, maybe you should lay
off the coffee,” he suggested, patting my
thigh before putting his hand back on the wheel and changing lanes again.
“Maybe you should pick a lane a
stick with it,” I muttered.
He glanced at me and then reached under his seat to pull out a Cd. I was relieved to seethat it was The Script, a band
Cds I also had in my car. As he began softly singingalong, I was impressed that he appeared to know every word. Then I remembered thatback before we were married we used to go driving all of the time with the radio up loud,
singing along to all of our favorite songs. Looking over at him I couldn’t help but wonder
how that could have been more than twenty five years ago. It felt both a million miles away,