“You wanna help us out and tell us where
is?”“I wish I could”And I really did wish I could tell the Forest Cops where
, of course, theymeant drugs. The problem was there were no drugs in my truck. There had not been anydrugs in my truck for a long time. They were a few years too late. I don’t party like I usedto. I am not all that interested in doing drugs anymore (well… maybe… if they arefree…) and I never travel with them because… well… because I don’t want to see what Iwas seeing that night.A fucking cop digging through all my shit.The last thing I wanted to see was a cop digging out my instruments. Being somewhatvaluable and precariously packed in cases that were falling apart after years of abuse onthe road this sort of scenario is a nightmare. I won’t even let my friends pack and unpack my instruments. It doesn’t matter that I don’t play them anymore. I still love them. Theyare family.They’re about all I have left.…I did some soul searching after my last tour. I took long walks through the desert trying tofigure out where the fuck to go from here. There are no real answers and that scares me.There are few things more dangerous to a man’s soul than to believe he doesn’t have afuture. One thing is perfectly clear. This traveling musician shit isn’t working. Not by along shot. I came away from the last trip clearing about as much as a week’s pay from amediocre job. I had gotten to be a damn good performer. So much better than I thought Iwould ever be. I could get people dancing. I could make them laugh. I made good tips. Isold CD’s. But people just were not coming out to see me. People don’t know who Iam… or care.It’s over.That afternoon I went to the Basha’s in Sedona. The supermarket has a little cafeteriawhere you can drink cheap coffee and get free wi-fi. It is fluorescent lit and theatmosphere is shit but it is still the best coffee house in town. Even if all the rich retireesgive me dirty looks. It is still better than Java Love.An old homeless man with a cardboard sign attached to his backpack saying “Homeless.Willing to work.” approached me and asked me if I needed some shoes. He had an old pair of boots he was willing to give me.