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Travlin Man

Travlin Man

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Published by Tim Meester

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Published by: Tim Meester on Dec 02, 2011
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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05/13/2014

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 Tim MeesterTravlinManVisual SampleWhat the hell am I doing here? This shit is just stupid. I’m sixty-one years old right now. Sixty-one! I should be living out my last daysin a warm home with a pension. I should be married and watchingover my grandkids. Instead here I am, drunk as hell, freezing my assoff at the beginning of winter flashing vulgar signs to drunken collegestudents hoping to get spare change out of them in exchange for alaugh. What’s really fucked up is they’ve made me into some kind of celebrity on campus. They call me Travlin’ Man. I’ve been on the localradio, in the student newspapers and they’ve even made Facebookpages of me on the Internet. They say I’m too intelligent to be on thestreets. When I tell them that I was educated and that I was a straightA student in college, they find it difficult to understand how I ended upbegging for change at the end of my life.Here’s the one thing I have left to hold onto. The one hope Ihave remaining to me. I haven’t seen or talked to her in seven years. Then out of nowhere she sends me this letter the last time I was in jail.How did she know I was in jail? How did she figure out I was in thistown? She’s right. I need to get the hell out of this stupid life style.No more drinking. No more drugs. No more panhandling. It’s nevertoo late to change. If I don’t stop now, I could wake up dead tomorrow.She wants me to come home. She wants me to go back to Vermont. Idon’t know. I can’t handle that God shit. She wants me “to getstraight with God” and go to church. I’ve seen too much of the worldto believe in a loving God. Besides, I don’t want her to see me likethis. Not her. Not my mother. She’s a good person and I don’t wantto bring any more shame on the family. Fuck. I know she’s not wellthough. I have a feeling she doesn’t have much time left, that’s whythe letter seemed so urgent. That’s why she sounded so desperate.She doesn’t want me to know.Fuck it. I’m going home. Why not? I can’t live like this anymore.I’m getting too old. I don’t have much time left. It’s time to setUSC – School of Cinematic ArtsMFA – Television & Film Production2012
 
 Tim MeesterTravlinManVisual Sampleeverything right. I have enough money saved up to take a bus home.When I get there I won’t even have to worry about money anymore.Mom’s richer than dog shit. It’s pretty ironic that her youngest son is ahomeless piece of shit. I deserve to be here. I’ve fucked so much shitup. She’s lucky I didn’t completely drive her to the ground. How canshe forgive me – the family curse? How can she bear to look at meafter all of the shit I put her through?Oh great. Not this fucking clown again. This young stupid fuckeris gonna end up in prison before long. I can see that right now. He haseverything in the world right now and yet here he is, fucking it all awaywith this stupid shit. I try to tell him that but he doesn’t listen. Nobodylistens to the bum, what the hell can I know? He’s got some good shitthough; it’s always the best in town. I want to go home, but somethingstronger compels me to stay. It’s a terrible disease without a cure, likecancer. It’s ruined me. It’s ruined my family. It’s consumed myhopes, my dreams. It’s taken my sanity. The deeper you get into it,the harder it is to pull yourself out. I tell him that it’s not too late tochange. It is for me. The sad thing is I know how much I need it rightnow.Sorry to let you down, Mom. I hope you can forgive me. I can’tcome home like this. Not in front of you, after all you’ve done for mein the past. I know myself too well. I can change, but I won’t. I’ll justbring the party back to your house. I’ll bring back the shame. I can’tface you during your last hours. Not like this. You won’t be able tohandle it. I can’t handle it. Besides, I don’t want to be a damnbloodsucker. I’ll figure things out on my own. I’m tired of thinkingabout this. I’m tired of life. Just a little longer and this circus will cometo an end. That kid’s shit really got me fucked up. I spent all my damnmoney again, too. It’s cold as hell out. I could grab a blanket and layon a bed but the hard rocks offer a curious comfort. I made a damnUSC – School of Cinematic ArtsMFA – Television & Film Production2012

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