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STUCK INSIDE DAMASCUS (with the memphis blues again?)Dedicated to Bashar al-AssadI wake up in DamascusTo some noise out in the townI open up the window “Can’t you people hold it down?” I spot a soldier standingAnd I clear my throat, "Ahem!"He sees me up above himAnd he shouts, “You're one of them!"I start to close the windowBut he's Johnny-on-the-spotHe tells me I’m a pris’nerOf the al-Mukhabarat.He takes me to his SergeantIn a room without a view.Who says that he has proof thatI'm an agent of the Jews.He shows me sev’ral photosOf a club at Thomas Gate “That bar’s a Mossad hangoutYou were there. It’s check and mate.” I sign a typed confessionAnd I thought that we were through.But no, he tells the soldier, “Take him up to the HQ."
 
The Captain at HeadquartersHe’s a thug, his name’s FarooqHe takes one look and mutters “Hell, that ain’t no Jewboy spook."He tears up the confessionAnd he kicks me in the balls.He says, “You’re in al-QaedaGive it up and tell me all.” I rattle off a storyHow I trained in Pakistan.And taught Mohammed AttaHow to slip through airport scans.They type a new confessionAnd I sign my autograph.Farooq decides to send meTo the Army Chief of Staff.They toss me in a dungeonIn a place both dark and dankThey leave me there for six daysAnd the food they gave me stankThe seventh day this colonelWho is one of Bashar’s friendsHe drives up to the prisonIn a pink Mercedes Benz.He glares at all around himAnd he huffs and puffs and roarsHis helpers cringe and trembleAs he calls for blood and gore.
 
He looks at me and hollers “You’re a liar! You’re a fake!You never were al-Qaeda.Did you think you’d get a break?” He tears up the confessionAnd he stomps and kicks a chair “You’re CIA, I know it.It’s a fact as clear as air.” I sign a new confession.As they watch the drying ink,They post my face on YouTubeAnd they throw me in the clink.They tell the world they got ‘imBoth the plotter and the plotThey have it down on paperHow this "terrorist" was caughtEach Friday before Moslem prayerThey trot me out to say, “I’m an agent of al-QaedaOf the Jews and CIA.” So that is all my story.And each word I swear is trueI’m stuck inside DamascusGuess it’s better me than youBut if you ever go thereAnd you’re feeling in a rutDon’t go looking for trouble, Dude,Just keep the window shut.
 
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