In Memory of Todd WoodsBy Tom TaylorChapter OneBobAbout three months after Todd Woods killed himself, the school put a plaque upin his honor. Shiny brass on a dark wood base. And like a lot of shiny attractivethings, that plaque was very controversial. A lot of people thought that the schoolshouldn't be honoring a suicide. Others argued that it wasn't in honor of a suicide,but of a kid. The arguments were all pointless, obviously, because Todd was sopopularand more importantly, his parents were so loadedthat it was pretty muchguaranteed that Todd would be remembered in a very dark wood, shiny brass sort of wayfor everyone to see, no matter how he died.That plaque amazed me. I would stop and look at it every chance I got. I hadabsolutely no idea why Todd Woods had killed himself. I knew the same story thateveryone seemed to know, that he took his dad's pistol out in the backyard and shothimself in the mouth, and that he was found face down in the rock-lined brook that ranthrough the yard. There were variations in the story too. Some people said he wasfound naked. Some people claimed to know weird details, like that he was holding acaboose from a train set in his hand. Everyone knew some version of the story, but asfar as I could tell no one had any idea why he did it.But it was huge. I remember Mandy Plummer running out of class crying a weekafter it happened. Some people missed school for days. The student body in general was

freaked out. In fact, Prom was coming up, and the school would probably end up namingthat after him somehow. A Very Todd Woods Evening, something like that.There was an announcement early on that the teachers read to us that saidanyone who wanted to go see the school psychiatrist, Dr. Wood, was encouraged to goand his door was always open, etc.Dr. Wood. I'm serious. Not only did his name sound like a porn star, but it wasalmost the exact last name of the kid we were supposed to be upset about.But I actually went to his office. Once. I hadn't even thought about going tosee him until after the plaque went up and I kept finding myself staring at it. Ithought to myself, "In a movie, it would be obvious to the audience that this kidstaring at this plaque had some issue or two to work out."So I went after lunch one day. I basically slammed into Ellen Trumbull as I waswalking in and she was coming out, which almost made me turn around and leave, for alot of reasons, whatever. But I sat down and talked to him for about twenty minutes,maybe? He was a nice enough guy, but he sort of sounded like everything he said wasout of a pamphlet about talking to kids about suicide.He asked me why I was there and I just told him. "I keep staring at that plaquethey just put up for Todd Woods and I thought I should talk to somebody about that."The second I said it I was waiting for my chance to leave. It sounded so dumb. Itsounded like I was saying, "Everyone seems to be having a killer time being upsetabout Todd Woods so I thought I'd give it a shot."He just asked me questions like did I know Todd Woods (no), did I ever knowanyone who died (two grandparents), did I find myself thinking about Todd's death alot. That one I actually sort of lied about. The answer was, Yeah, I think about it

all the time but I don't know why since I didn't know him. But that sounded like itcame out of the same pamphlet he was reading from, so I just said, "Not really."The bell had rung a few minutes after that. He actually handed me a pamphletand I left and never went back.* * *Todd Woods was a guy who was, as they say on TV and in the movies, popular.Which, as I understand it, means that not only did he have friends, but that everyoneelse wanted to be his friend too. Except for the people who hated him because theycouldn't be his friend for whatever reason, like because they were "losers," sub-rich,or not wearing the right shoes. Or because they hung out in the A/V room, like me andmy friends did."Oh, the A/V room," I hear some people yelling. "No wonder you couldn't hangout with the cool kids." Well, shut up. I didn't say Todd Woods was "cooler" than me,I just said he was more popular. Besides, what does "cool" mean? Does it mean being astar athlete and getting all the ladies, or does it mean designing and installing asystem of video monitors throughout the school showing the day's class schedule andschool news, as well as whatever I felt like putting up on them from my command cornerin A/V? I think the answer is clear.In fact, in my own techie way I had paid a nice tribute to Todd Woods. Beforehe had killed himself, I had installed a camera in the ceiling above the intersectionwhere the school's two main corridors met, to use as background video for themonitors. After he died, I got on a chair and aimed that camera at the plaque, as sortof a gesture, I guess, but also so I could continue to study that plaque from A/V.I won't say I was obsessed with that plaque, but I will say I was fascinated.