It is important to understand why we have drawn certain individuals into our lives. We usually haveattracted others to allow ourselves the opportunity to grow and to give us more information aboutwho we are. The idea is not to become like each other. The idea is to allow each individual to bethe strongest, healthiest, most balanced individual they can possibly be. Sometimes we mightforget this because we think unity is the product of conformity. Unity is the product of granting andallowing equality to uniqueness and diversity. In a balanced relationship, we do not lose ourindividuality -- just the opposite occurs. We each become stronger reflections for each other of allthat is possible for each of us. The purpose of any relationship is to allow us to be more of who wechoose to be. It is like looking into a mirror and seeing another aspect of ourselves. This does notmean our relationships will be an exact 1-1 reflection of who we each are. Rather, ourrelationships become a reflection of what the two of us have agreed to learn and teach each other. The best possible relationship is a balanced sharing, without dependency. Each party in arelationship has strong, natural attributes that can assist the other in their growth. If our support isaimed at creating a space for our partner or friend to grow in their own self-support, therelationship will be a happy and flourishing one. Think of it this way. Instead of constantly dolingout small pieces of bread, wouldn't it be of true, lasting benefit to teach someone how to bake theirown bread? If we are in a relationship where we are giving, giving, giving, it sends out themessage to our partners that we do not believe they have the ability to match or mock up theirown vibrations of completeness and sufficiency. Offer support to others as long as it does notrepresent the idea we are taking on responsibility for them. We cannot really be responsibility forother adults. Our attempts to do this usually leads us very quickly to examine our own issuesabout boundaries, because taking on another person's responsibilities brings us outside of wherewe prefer to be. The idea of responsibility is not to lay the blame on anyone, rather it allows us thefreedom to choose what we prefer. In a balanced relationship, each of us can still do what we prefer to do. We don't have to changeour lives just because someone else disapproves. There is no reason to attempt to be anythingthat we are not. Doing that only brings us more of what we are not. We will only become moreuncomfortable, unhappy, unhealthy, and unsuccessful, if we keep trying to be something we arenot. It is vital to express who we are, be who we are, and say what we think. We should onlychange our lives because we choose to, and because we are becoming more completely the realus. If we know we are functioning in true personal integrity, even if others around us don't like it orwant us to change, we continue to be who we are. If we are doing what we enjoy and love in life, it very quickly provides us confirmation of who wereally are. The idea is always to relax, have fun and be ourselves. Remember, anyone we attractinto our lives by being ourselves belongs in our lives. Being of service to ourselves and others isonly possible when we are complete within our own selves. If we are not fully ourselves, then theother person is not really in a relationship with the real us anyway! "WRONG" RELATIONSHIPS Why would any of us create a whole series of wrong relationships? The reason itself is basicallyvery simple. Either we have forgotten who we are, or we are afraid to accept who we are. Who weare is actually our naturally centered selves in a state of balance and complete self-acceptance.As long as we resist being our natural, balanced selves, the real us, we will not attractharmonious, long lasting, or healthy relationships.