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Beast of Belly ( feature short story of Bipolar Mirror)

Beast of Belly ( feature short story of Bipolar Mirror)

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Published by Mantra Lotus
Intro of the Jackal...redemption of the Mahmudiyah killings
Intro of the Jackal...redemption of the Mahmudiyah killings

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Published by: Mantra Lotus on Jan 06, 2012
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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02/06/2013

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Beast of Belly (Introduction of the Jackal)a feature story in Bi-polar Skits
Beast of Belly..a Burden
He howls loud, especially at night..shouting for release. Yelling to be free.Pangs and miserable moans..growling..to be heard.
 Be still Jackal. I have nothing for you today.
Kicking me with his bent over slate toes..his withering varicose legs; distorted and cadaverous.With long curled silver nails, he slashes stripes out of my intestines.Grown accustomed to his pain..I ignore him.Distressed he pleads..”I wanna get out..Please.”With a spoonful of sugar and the darkest rum, I try to soothe him. But, he slobbers it out..bubbling theliquor from his blue lips.Soon after, I run a warm bath of sweet milk and honey. Followed by a gentle massage of Lavender,Juniper Juice and Almond Oil. I had hopes of relaxing him and changing his mood. But, instead theritual just incited his deviance even further.He flailed and bawled..cringed and grunted. Contemplated and conspired on his next move. Childishly,thumping me with his fingers.“Let me out..Bitch!”..he bursts. His bloody tongue spitting and squirting diseased lies. Conjuring uphorrid tales while holding my ovaries between his teeth..He gushes…”I’ll do it Bitch..You know I will. I’ll crush em!”..juices swirling between his slurredspeech.Complacent.. I whisper 
.. Be quiet Jackal. Not today
.I stroke and press… delicately; to soothe him.He whines and bellows..elbowing my sides.. kneeing my navel.“I hate you girl. I fucking hate you.” (with heavy breath)
 Alright, Jackal.. I know. Just calm down.
Shh..I hold and rock him….From each side he bumps.. “Li..aaah!!!” he screams. “Let me out..Bitch..let me out!” He tantrums andshakes.I sigh
..Jackal you’re not being fair.. Stop it.
In the evening, I cook a full meal. Fresh greens, and rich grains. A sweet potato pie topped withwhipped cream and cinnamon sprinkles. Red wine and mint garnish.
 
My Grandmother’s gold-rimmed china, and the best silver. A beautiful, pink, silk, beaded table napkin,rests on my lap.
 Eat up Jackal..it’s good….
I smile.He groans..and rattles. Every bite I try to feed him..he blows back. I hiccup and burp. Desperatelytrying to hold the food down.I fizzle…
Stop it! Jackal, Stop it..your gonna make me sick.
I inhale and huff, then return to my meal. Watching the dark sky..and the ivory chiffon curtains vibratefrom the open window. Candle wax drips into it’s holder; it’s light beautifully flickering. A peacefulscene. Serene and tranquil.I raise my fork again.. A small bite I take..He spews it out..over my chin.Quickly I wipe, and slam the fork onto the table..
“Dammit Jackal!!! I said not tonight! I just wanted to have a peaceful meal..for once!
I push myself from the table, allowing the pretty napkin to fall.Snatch up the plate and utensils… Drown the candle … then toss everything in the trash.My stomach ripples and shakes.Angry and silent. Aggressively panting and perspiring I grab my keys, my purse, a coat, the trash, andout the backdoor I go.Jackal’s skittish and merry..Clapping his idiotic hands.. “Yes..Yes..”
 Fuck YOU Jackal 
.” I snare.His heels are pressing into my pelvis.. Upright he stands in me. Straight and Firm. Properly salutingme, in all too familiar fashion.I toss the bag into the dumpster.Stomp around to the front. Yank open the car door, drive the car into the garage with door still open.Pull down the garage door. Lock. Then, head down the road.My breath is uneasy. I’m jittery and edgy. I tell myself to calm down. I try to slow down my breathingand gather my thoughts, but it’s difficult.The swirling dust and the cool air ignite me. Balling my fist..I scream as loud as I can.. (yelling at thestars) “Why is this happening?!”With a deep inhale, I shake my head. Quickly resolving that everything, (all of “this”)… is in-fact bullshit. Softly muttering, “I can’t eat, sleep, or be still. I’ll never be at peace. I hate it.”My lips perch..and anger turns into frustration. Frustration with Jackal for not compromising. For notseeing things my way. For ALWAYS getting what he wants.Mad I turn inward..
“Ya hate me, Jackal? Well, I fucking loathe You! I LOATHE you!”
Tickled he smiles. Rubbing my belly from the inside. “I don’t hate you. I don’t hate you..” hewickedly sings.He playfully pinches me. Distorting his voice to sound just like mine. Mocking me.. “I loathe you.”
 
Amused…we both laugh.I get myself together, and pick up the pace; as if aware of my destination. Quickly and swiftly walking.But, soon tired and muddled.We stroll for miles. With hesitation and confusion, I linger in the darkness. Aimlessly wandering.Kicking rocks in my cowgirl boots. Wanting to return home, but knowing that I won’t be able too.Distraught with what I’ve become but aware of my lack of choice.“I hate this. I really hate this. But, Jackal’s all I have. I have no one but him.” I whisper between bittenlips.In comfort, I submit. I breathe.Anxiously, he sways. I pat him still. Once again, my baby. My only friend.
“I know where we’ll go!” I smile.
I turn the corner to the bus station.. We take the bus for a couple of blocks and arrive at the subway.
 
On the train..He dances and hums. I twirl my hair and wring the sweat from my hands.He squeals the number of stops the train takes. “1..2..3..4..5..As I rise..he excitedly bops around in me.“6!!!” he yells. “I knew it! I knew it!”Off..the train, and a skip of a couple blocks. We march.
Twilight shuffling through the white double doors with the chipped paint.Dips and twists and Dally Oh’s..pack the box. Lush taverns full of spicy spiritsLavish Bellies BoastBeast of Belly..a BurdenA trip up on squeaky stool with turned metal and scarlet slashed vinylfogged glasses of Sailor brew and lonesome cherries.Old smoke a burning…heavy coughs and cruddy cigarsblackened mirrors, dusty shelves and dark wine.
 We sit at the bar..drinking and patiently waiting.A brush of my shoulder and…. “
 Here we go.
Jackal quietly listens.“Hey Sweetness..I haven’t seen you in a while.”” Hello. Well, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you.” I flirt. Surveying him all over. “It’s him. he’s the one!”Jackal squawks.“Do you mind?” he motions toward the seat next to me. “No, it’s fine.”

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