it should for things to be comfortable; but it wasn't that my body wasuncomfortable – there was no body! The whole set-up was bizarre, everything wasin a bizarre and absurd situation which I couldn't really understand, couldn't makeout: "What's this big lump doing here," I seemed to be wondering, "taking up somuch room, getting in the way?"My elbow had ended up leaning on a little plastic tray I have there, where Ikeep pencils, ball-point pens, note pads and so forth. The body was leaning on thistray, evidently trying to get up, and the whole thing started cracking noisily under the weight. And in a diffuse but very clear consciousness I was saying to myself,"But why? What's all this ridiculous noise? And what's this heavy thing doing?What disorder.... There shouldn't be such disorder." And it went on crack-crack-cracking. Then suddenly normal consciousness returned – to be exact, whatreturned was the normal RELATIONSHIP consciousness has with things – and Isaid, "Well, really! What a ridiculous situation! What is this elbow doing on thattray? It should realize it's breaking it!" And when things were all completely back to normal I told my body, "What are you doing, you idiot! Come on, pick yourself up, get moving! " Immediately, docile as a little child, it extricated itself, turnedaround, and stood up straight – quite straight. I had scratched my knee, scratchedmy elbow, and taken three knocks on the head. Luckily there were no sharp edges – it was all hard enough, but no sharp edges. Anyway, in the end I was all right,no damage done. No damage at all, but it was a bizarre sensation. So I tried to understand how itcould have happened, how I could have so lost my sense of relation to things....For a long time my body had been telling me, "I've got to lie down, I've got to liedown." And I would very sternly reply, "You don't have time!"
Sothen this happened. Had I obeyed it and laid down, there would obviously have been no problem. But I was in my experience, going on with my experience, andat the same time I was getting ready to come downstairs. So I told my body, "It'sall right, it's all right, you'll lie down later." But it had its own way of lying down!
It just stretched out right where it was. Actually it wasn't evenstretched out – it was all askew.Afterwards, I looked into it a bit. "What's wrong with you, anyway?" I said. "If you don't have the strength to bear experiences you won't be able to do the work!"My body answered me very clearly that I was overworking it; and Sri Aurobindo'swill was clearly behind it, saying, "It's overwork. You can't keep on seeing peopleand talking for hours on end and then going into these kinds of experiences. Youcan't do both, you have to choose, or at least strike a better balance." Well, Icertainly wasn't going to stop my experiences, so I took advantage of this littleincident to get some rest. It was nothing, really! The doctors were saying, "Takecare, the heart isn't working properly," and all that. They wanted to start druggingme! All I need is peace and quiet, not drugs. So I took a rest – and since I had tohave an excuse, I said I wasn't well and needed rest.But following that, and because of the overwork, an old thing I thought I hadcured has come back. It was originally brought on by overwork when I was goingto the Playground and resting only two hours out of twenty-four, which wasn't