January 6, 1968
I wanted to show you something, then I forgot. Maybe you’ve seen it? It’ssomething I am supposed to have said to M. years ago, many years ago, about
he noted it down in French, and quite recently (that is, perhaps three or four weeks ago), he showed me what he had noted.... And as it happens, heshowed it not only to me but to others (!). They’ve translated it into English andnow they want me to read it aloud so they can play it at the Playground. I wantedto revise the French with you, but they want it in English. The English isn’t toogood, but that doesn’t matter.... They are all enthusiastic and happy – as for me, Idon’t like it, because the form of it is so personal..Have you seen the French text?
Yes, I have.
He certainly caught something of your vibration, that can be felt. But I don’t know how it would come out once you repeat it?... If you could say something anew on "Savitri"?
Ah! ... But, you know, I am no longer the same person! I no longer say thesame things – it’s impossible. Impossible. I have been looking at it; in fact thiswhole story has come back now as if to illustrate the huge difference – huge, butcolossal difference in the state of consciousness. For me now, that [notation about
] is such a personal vision of things.... Yesterday, I had an interesting dayfrom that point of view.It’s the physical ego that has been destroyed and is now like this
(gesture witharms open upward)
.... So it finds it odd! I don’t know how to explain. This way of putting oneself in the center of things and seeing them in relation to that center of consciousness seems so ... You understand, the consciousness is spread out; it’s asmuch there or there as here, and it sees everything in relation to a higher, centralConsciousness
(Mother brings her two arms together, joining the tips of her handsabove her head in a triangle pointing towards the Supreme),
which is like a kindof Beacon – an immutable, all-powerful beacon throwing the same light on allthings, without the least personal reaction of any sort.And the last vestiges – yesterday they seemed to be the last ones, because of this text they had asked me to read ... Naturally, when I speak I say "I" becauseit’s the body that speaks, but it has no sense of "I," it ... It’s very hard to explain.Anyway, because of this affair, I said, "Ah, but how, how can that be said whenit’s not me? – There’s no me, it’s not me!" And at the same time, there was thisConsciousness above, saying, "No personal reactions – there’s no more ‘me,’ andif this must be done, let it be done." And for hours and hours, there was such a peculiar state in which everything ... It was like kinds of vestiges, or pieces of bark, I don’t know; pieces of something a bit hard or shriveled, which had