No.... I have trouble speaking.But the experience continues; it is getting increasingly stronger and more precise.... But expressing myself is difficult.The Consciousness is VERY active, but in silence. As soon as I speak....
(Mother goes into contemplation until the end)
What time is it?
It’s eleven o’clock, Mother.
The atmosphere is very peaceful, very clear.
January 8, 1972
What’s new? ... Feeling better? ... No? ...
I don’t know. I don’t quite understand what course we’re following.
Why, I myself don’t understand it at all! Simply ...
(Mother opens her hands in a gesture of surrender).
It isn’t easy.It isn’t easy, but it’s what I was telling you: both extremes. It isn’t easy, butall of a sudden, for a few seconds, everything becomes wonderful, and thenagain.... So I’d rather not speak about it.
Now that I am here like this, in seclusion, the lowest nature of everyonecomes out. They do things, thinking “Oh, Mother won’t know.” That’s how itis. So this “Mother won’t know” means there’s no more restraint. I would sayit’s rather disgusting.People to whom I have said, “You can’t stay in the Ashram” move inanyway. And nobody stops them. Not only that, but they go to the Aurovilleoffices and try to direct things. I tell you ... it has become really, reallydisgusting.Because I am here, because I don’t see so clearly anymore and my hearingisn’t so good – so they take advantage of it.People say that I am no longer in control in the Ashram, that those aroundme direct and do exactly as they please.
But it’s not true.
Of course, it’s not true!
It’s not true.In terms of consciousness, the consciousness is FAR superior to what itwas – that I know – but my expression is.... I no longer have any power of