I Ambushed Me!
Yesterday morning (afternoon actually, but morning to me since it was right after I got out of bedfollowing my night shift), the enemy ambushed me! I attacked Me at a time and place Me was mostvulnerable - wet and naked in the shower!
Man, this time I really outdid myself in being Me’s own worst enemy
- I mean I was CRAFTY! Iconverted a common contraption - a standup shower system - into a truly diabolical weapon, anASARWaL. = Accidentally Self Assembled Rocketing Water Launcher.Below is a post-attack picture of the shower system, rearranged so that it looks pretty much the way itdid before I converted it into an ASARWaL and engaged Me as the enemy.
Now I’ll describe how I set up the ASARWaL
attack. I stood patiently waiting while Mearranged his showering paraphernalia andgot undressed, placing his clothes and towelon the bench behind Me. Then I let Me getinto the shower stall, draw the curtain, turnon the water, and start to work on turning upthe hot water with the handle on the right(not the left - silly Europeans).
That’s when I took over
. While Me waslooking at the shower head and gauging thetemperature by standing under the waterflow, I continued messing with the hot waterhandle until it just came off, unleashing amost hellish water cannon!
You should have seen Me’s reaction! I was
actually rather impressed by Me, AFTER hisinitial shock - and relief - at the sight of thewater jet rocketing past his junk (DAMN, Imissed by a fraction of an inch) and againstthe back wall of the shower stall directlybehind Me! Me quickly looked around forthe attacker, and upon seeing that it was I,wisely decided against a counterattack,opting instead to recover and regroup.Me sprang into action by (1) keeping his junk
out of the rocketing water’s path, (2) looking madly about for a few seconds,
and (3) trying to stop thethundering water cannon by grabbing the hot water handle and pushing it back in place. Only 1 and 2worked, 3 was hopeless.
Then I could see, as if in slow motion, Me’s brain lock onto a good idea!
Melooked at the shower curtain (always mindful of where he was standing relative to the rocketing water),scooped it up from the bottom into a sort of shallow bag and put that in front of the jet. Just in timetoo, since things were getting awfully wet and messy behind Me! When the shower curtain camecrashing down, Me not-so-calmly adjusted things to keep the jet contained.