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The Most Simplified Explanation of Restraining Orders

The Most Simplified Explanation of Restraining Orders

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Published by samdlb29
Divorce - The Harsh Realities You Will Face – And Why You Must Prepare Yourself Now For a Restraining Order If You Don’t Want to Become a Victim and Lose Your Children http://tinyurl.com/6s85nuw
Divorce - The Harsh Realities You Will Face – And Why You Must Prepare Yourself Now For a Restraining Order If You Don’t Want to Become a Victim and Lose Your Children http://tinyurl.com/6s85nuw

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Published by: samdlb29 on Jan 16, 2012
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 ==== ====New e-Book For Dads Getting Divorced Reveals…The Harsh Realities You Will Face – And WhyYou Must Prepare Yourself Now For a Restraining Order If You Don’t Want to Become a Victimand Lose Your Childrenhttp://tinyurl.com/6s85nuw ==== ====People use restraining orders in order to protect themselves against certain conduct such as:violence, abuse, threats, stalking and even annoying behavior such as excessive contact viaemail, text message, telephone calls or in-person contact. The process varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, but as a general rule, an individual (1) Filespaperwork requesting a restraining order; (2) The paperwork is reviewed by a Judge and ifwarranted; (3) it is granted on a temporary basis and a hearing is set - Typically no fees arecharged for filing restraining orders to allow anyone in need of one the ability to file withoutworrying about expense. At the hearing, the Judge will ask the parties if they are opposed to a permanent restraining orderbeing issued. Due to the ramifications and stigma that restraining orders can inflict, peoplegenerally do not agree to them and opt for a fully evidentiary hearing (or trial) on the issues. A temporary restraining order will be granted without assuming guilt until a trial can be scheduled.If it is proven that the conduct described actually occurred and one party should be restrained, apermanent restraining order will be granted for anywhere from several months to (5) years in somestates. Common Terms: "Protected party:" the one seeking a restraining order; "Restrained party:" theone against whom the restraining order is sought; "TRO:" Abbreviation for temporary restrainingorder. "Permanent restraining order:" One that is granted for a period of months to (5) years byagreement or after a full evidentiary hearing or trial. "Filing fee:" Fees charged by the county to filevarious family law documents. Why our restraining orders a problem in divorce? First lets begin with the statement that violenceshould never be tolerated by anyone at anytime. If you are the victim of domestic violence youneed to seek immediate help for yourself and your children. For the remaining group of people however who have applied for restraining orders simplybecause they are angry with their soon to be ex-spouse, this paragraph is for YOU: Restrainingorders are a problem when they are granted to people who really don't need them because theybecome an inhibitor to normal communication. A restraining order, whether temporary or permanent is not a document that the "protected party"gets to wield at the "restrained party." Actually, they are mutual meaning that NEITHER party cancontact, communicate with, harass, annoy or irritate the other. Even though you are the "protected
 
party" you still may not call or text your ex-spouse if there is a restraining order unless the courthas specifically allowed both of you to engage in certain contact, i.e. conveying an emergencymessage about the children. Assume a temporary or permanent restraining order has been granted in the following scenarioswhich outline the problems that could arise there: 1. Going to the lawyers office to discuss divorce issues such as property division: You cannotsimply meet and discuss your issues if doing so would violate the terms of the restraining order(such as maintaining a distance of 25 yards in a public place). While it would seem easy to simplyagree that the restraining order does not apply to this scenario, it is not that simple. A court orderis viewed with the utmost respect and severity. Most attorneys with any respect for the law will notallow a client or the opposing party to walk into that trap. It's simple: At any time, the "protectedparty" can contact the authorities alleging a violation of the restraining order. And the simple truthis that if the "restrained" party is within 25 yards, for example it is a violation. Sure, it is anexplainable violation once you go back to court, but it is a violation none the less. 2. Disposal of jointly owned property: Similar to the scenario above, there are times in a divorcewhen both parties must be present to handle the financial affairs of the divorce. Assume you areselling the family home and both spouses wish to be presents during the appraisal or a showing,restraining orders make this nearly impossible and expose the not-so-pleasant details of yourdivorce to outside parties. As I mentioned before, restraining orders carry a stigma; There is anautomatic assumption that parties who need TRO's have problems that most people simply do notwant to deal with. Divorces can involve a number of "experts" such as: appraisers, real estateagents, accountants, attorneys, mediators, etc. all of whom will know at the end of the day, thatyou two have a restraining order in place. 3. Mediation classes for custody and visitation: In many counties, mediation is required before thegranting of custody orders. However, if there is a restraining order in place, two parties typicallycannot attend the same mediation. So, you're thinking: "What's the bid deal? We'll attendseparately?" The big deal is that the goal of mediation is to encourage a parenting plan that worksfor both parties which is best determined when parents can sit TOGETHER at the table with themediator and craft an agreement that is in the best interest of the children. 4. Custody in general: Often a "restrained party" will have limited visitation with children during therestraining order period. The rationale is that if you are violent with "mother/father" you will beviolent with "children." In fact, spiteful parents have even filed Temporary Restraining Orders inorder to maintain a custodial advantage. On the flip side, a parent who falsely accuses the other ofdomestic violence or sexual abuse can lose custody of children so clearly, falsely accusingsomeone of abuse is not only perjury but it carries severe consequences of which people are oftenunaware. 5. Custody and visitation exchanges/day care and children's school: This is one of the mostdifficult areas to work around existing restraining orders. Imagine the hypothetical: Mom is to dropthe children off with Dad at 5:00 p.m. on Friday night in the Macy's parking lot. Dad cannot actuallyapproach mother or he will violate the restraining order so mom must remain in the car and watchas the children travel across the parking lot with their suitcases in hand to dad's car. This is not ahuge problem unless the children are 6 months and two years old! Now, the court will often issue
 
orders that lift the restraining order only during visitation exchanges - however if there is a realthreat of violence, this "lift" could really put a parent in jeopardy AND the children might beexposed to domestic violence. As you can imagine, this also impacts day care and school forthings like back-to-school night, parent-teacher meetings and other school functions. It alsoexposes the possibility of alerting school and day care personal to the details of your marital lifewhich can lead to humiliation and embarrassment. 6. Common facilities such as: church, the gym, workplace. Often spouses worship together,belong to the same gym or other social outlet and even work together. Once these partiesseparate, these mutual locations are not split up in the divorce. Parties still need to be able to goto church, work and maintain as normal a life as possible and one that closely resembles the pre-separation days. When a TRO is thrown into the mix of things, the court can order a variety ofsolutions to maintain normalcy such as: order the parties to attend different church services forexample or assign certain days of the week to husband and wife alike for the gym or golf clubmembership to avoid parties running into each other, hence violating orders. The bottom line is that parties need to think things through before filing an application for arestraining order. Again, if you are the victim of domestic violence, there is no excuse to beabused by anyone at anytime for any reason. You must do what is necessary to protect yourselfand your children. That being said, a TRO, while a court order is also still just a piece of paper andyou should make sure to self-guard yourself beyond the document. But for those who have appliedfor a retraining order merely as a means of maintaining an advantage over or punishing the ex-spouse, the ramifications of such an order will apply to the protected party as well. Not only does itmake the life of the "restrained" party more difficult, but the "protected party" has limitations, toowhich in the long run, may not justify the means. Copyright © 2009 Ron Lasorsa Ron is the Founder of the "Kids Come First Coalition." This coalition is a group of like mindedorganizations that banded together for the greater good of the nuclear family. Their effort ismotivated by their desire to change the existing system, which encourages the dissolution of thenuclear family. Their sworn enemy, "The Divorce Industry" has the unlimited financial backing ofthe government and various powerful interest groups to aid it. The Coalition has collectivelyrealized that it must collaborate and rely upon the free market of both ideas and finances tochampion their cause.  Article Source:http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ron_S_Lasorsa 

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