can refer to which can appropriately take the place of compulsive sexuality by fulfillingsome of your needs in realistic, sustaining ways.“Reframing” is an NLP stalwart strategy. To “reframe” a stimulus (e.g. sexual urges)means to change the meaning of the stimulus and thus to change the way you behavetowards the stimulus.To “reframe” the past means to look at it differently in light of new information andgrowing maturity. When I was in therapy, I could only bemoan growing up in the chaosof life with two alcoholic parents. I would regale the therapist with tales of theHORROR of it all! At some point in my development, I began to have a series of positive memories about my parents. Although dysfunctional after their illness took over,there were, in fact, many years of togetherness, closeness and fun. I have also come torecognize that they were not bad people, just people with a bad disease. Despite it all,they managed to march to the tune of their own drummer in terms of their lifestylechoices and engendered in me enough love of learning to be able to write this book!So…voila! You
change the past, depending on which frame you choose to put on it. NLP uses a “Six-Step Reframe” to work with a variety of unwanted behaviors, thoughts,feelings and attitudes. I encapsulate for the sake of simplicity.1.
Identify the behavior to be changed
. In other words, what do you want andwhat stops you from getting there at this time. You may, for instance, was toenjoy sexuality as an experience shared with a cherish partner that leaves youfeeling enlivened rather than depleted and self-hating. What stops you fromgetting there? Why, your addiction, of course.2.
Establish communication with the part of you that generates the behavior
.This is the part of you that revels in the experience of intense sexual pleasure andcan’t figure out, for the life of you, why you would ever want to stop. You needto understand that the addict part is part of your early survival skills and will only