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Divorce and Its Effect on American Life

Divorce and Its Effect on American Life

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Published by CareyH231
Divorce Help
Divorce Help

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Published by: CareyH231 on Jan 29, 2012
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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 ==== ====Divorce helpdivorce.shared4u2.com ==== ====Till death do us not! Men are cheaters, women are naggers, and divorce has skyrocketed affecting the way the world isnow run. "I love you" is substituted with "I hate you" and martial vows have become lies.Economically challenging, emotionally and mentally damaging, and over all tragic, Americans aresuffering from relationships gone bad. Youthful marriages are more frequent and less valued. Drugaddiction is always a growing concern and is also invading martial life. Marriages are alsosuffering from the destruction of adultery. One has to wonder weather America can survive theseverity of divorce and its effects that are beginning to weigh on the lives of its people. The firsttopic of discussion concerns youth. America's youth are beginning to become an important cause in today's divorce statistics. There isa disturbing new trend developing that involves marriage and today's American youth. The trendinvolves something called "starter marriages". A "starter marriage" is a first time marriage thatlasts for five years or less. These marriages typically involve younger adults and produce nochildren. Some like to think of these "starter marriages" as rehearsals for "real" future marriages. Itis America's modern approach to perfecting marriage. However, it is also a huge cause of divorce. The sad thing about this new and growing view on marriage is that it feeds on low self-esteem,lack of self-respect, and self gratification. Younger women or men who are struggling with familyissues, insecurities and emotional distress, may marry for security reasons. Since they may notnecessarily be in love with one another, the marriage will most likely result in divorce, but so isdrug addiction. May one's poison be alcohol-related or any other substance abuse, it is a destructible dependencethat can quickly rip a marriage apart. Many of those who suffer from drug abuse have a highpotential for causing harm to ones self as well as others through violent interactions or accidents.Drug addiction has also resulted in one's loss of dignity, financial stability, motivation in life, andpossible death. The affects on a marriage can be devastating. Someone in a partnership, whoseperceptions, thoughts, and emotions are constantly altered by drugs, can be severally destructiveto the other partner involved. Physical and emotional abuses are very common as well. Emotionaldistress can be weighing and harmful to a marriage and in some possible tragic cases, death maybe the end result. Some people try to get help for their spouses who suffer from substance abuse.Rehabilitation and marriage counseling are often good effective ways to saving a marriage andavoiding divorce. However, if the user is not able or willing to quit their addiction, then their partnerhas no choice but to do what's best for them as well as their family. The next topic focuses onadultery. One of the most harmful causes of divorce is the wandering eye of a spouse. Spouses involved
with a cheating partner suffer emotionally, physically, and mentally. Divorce is usually the endresult. A wandering eye may lead to an innocent conversation, which may lead to a provocativeencounter. Traditional signs of infidelity consist but are not limited to; long hours unaccounted for,strange smells, coldness during sex, unexplained expenses, and changes in your spouse'sappearance and attitude. When a cheater is caught or suspicions begin to develop, the emotionalstress can be lead to erratic behavior. One might spy on the other. Privacy and trust fly out thewindow, while depression and anger sets in. Guilt can also eat away at a person. It makes that person stand-offish as well as paranoid to hisspouse, even though he is the one who cheated. A marriage can suffer severally from infidelity.Whatever problems a marriage might encounter, adultery is never a good resolution. Divorce isusually the outcome and the emotional damage can lead to future issues. All of these factors areimportant. Divorce in America are caused in many various and sad ways. The modern idea of "startermarriages" created by America's youth is definitely an unorthodox cause. Drug Addiction is aserious and growing cause of many marriages turning to divorce. Adultery is harming the valueand promise of what marriage truly is. If only more Americans tried not to rush into marriage. Ifthey just took the time to experience what a true relationship consists of before taking thepromised step, perhaps divorce rates would decrease and more marriages would succeed! Divorce in America brings a lot of baggage with it. It affects all that is involved and theconsequences can be damaging. The emotional welfare of divorces is unpredictable. Mentalstability can be a consequence that can affect the productivity in ones life. Also, children involvedin divorces can have a hard time coping with the separation of their parents. Divorce, is notnecessarily always negative, but it does always have consequences. The first topic concernsemotions. The emotional effects of divorce can be traumatic and filled with contradictory emotions. There arealso specific feelings, attitudes, and dynamics dealt by both the initiator and receiver of thedecision to breakup. For example, initiators are likely to experience fear, relief, distance,impatience, resentment, doubt and guilt. In a case of the receiver, it is not unusual for one toexperience shock, betrayal, victimization, and low self-esteem, insecurity loss of control, anger,desire to "get even" and hopes to reconcile. All of these emotions are typically felt and are normalas long as irrational behavior is not influenced. Stages of dealing and coping usually follow divorceand can take up to a couple years to fully get over. As one deals with the stage of divorce, one willtry to create ways to distance himself from his partner. Often, this distance develops into faultfinding. One will begin to exaggerate every flaw and fault in their spouse's physical being as wellas their character. This helps a little in the smoothing process of the separation. Another common and negative emotion expressed is the desperate need for vengeance. Thisneed is usually fueled by the feeling of being blameless. A lot of energy and planning can go intogetting even and the results can be nasty. Both, fault finding and vengeance are not necessaryand will hinder the healing process. Positive emotions such as acceptance, taking responsibility oftheir own actions, focusing on the future, and acting with integrity will be the ones that willinfluence moving on. Not only are emotions an important factor of consequences so is the mentaleffects. 
Depression is a common mental consequence of divorce. It can weigh heavily on the mind andbody. One may start to binge eat to cover the pain or stop eating all together. They may refuse towork, get out of bed, shower, or par-take in any normal activity. The sadness could be sooverwhelming that emotional outburst makes the person irritable and unstable. Drastic thoughts ofsuicide might invade ones mind and life may seem meaningless. Such forms of depression canlead to drug abuse and even hospitalization. When one is dishonored by someone they truly caredabout, the damage can be really tragic. The next topic focuses on children. Children involved in divorces suffer from all types of consequences. Depression, bad grades, andtrouble with the law are all common amongst children of divorce. The healing and coping processcan be an easy or a hard process depending on the quality of the children's and parent'srelationship. Younger children usually suffer from denial when first dealing with their parentsdivorce. They begin to fantasize that their parents are not truly divorcing or they havereconciliation fantasizes. This falseness of reality results in the children lying not only tothemselves but to others. Abandonment is a huge emotional consequence of divorce. Children begin to think they aredivorceable and worry if either parent will even want them. They begin to feel loads of guilt andstart blaming themselves that "daddy's leaving". Somehow, it is something they did or it is their fault that their parents are separating. On top of allthe miss-placed blame some children suffer from, they also, at times, are in the middle of nastycustody battles. Parents start to take confidence in their children, talking negatively about the otherparent. Examples are things like "daddy is divorcing us", "Momma hates us" and so forth. This cancause a child to form protectiveness over one parent and divided loyalties towards each parentstart to form. Anger and hostility can be expressed by children towards other siblings, peers, orparents. School performance can suffer and inward hostility is what is known as depression inchildren. Adolescences suffer are more likely to act out depression. Sleep and eating disorders,acting out, social avoidance, and physical injury are all consequences of depression caused bydivorce. Children will also test a parent's loyalty. They will refuse to talk or spend time with aparent to see what kind of reaction this type of behavior will get. In other words, they will try toseek attention by acting out. Divorce can cause lots of unneeded stress and be harmful to thegrowth of the children involved. All of these factors are important. Divorce and its consequences are very harmful to all the people involved in the situation. Theemotional distress can cause a person's life upside down. The mental instability can be harmful tonot only the mind but the body as well. Consequences of divorce can be stressful, damaging and overall unnecessary for the childreninvolved. It's a process, few enjoy going through. If only the stages of divorce were enforced inmore positive ways, where the adults handled themselves in mature manners and were muchmore considerate of one another's feelings, perhaps the process of divorce would be lessdamaging on themselves as well as their children! Economic effects of divorce are costly all the way around. The divorce itself can be costly. A familycollapse with children could lead to increased social costs. Also, parent stereotyping is becomingan economic issue. Money is extremely important, especially when one has a family to provide for.The first topic concerns divorce costs.

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