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Sammy Jingles - Latest

Sammy Jingles - Latest

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Published by Mike Thomas

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Published by: Mike Thomas on Jan 30, 2012
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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01/30/2012

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SAMMY JINGLESby
Patrick Bonner
Draft DatedSeptember 22, 2011
Patrick Bonnerhpatrickbonner@gmail.com
WGA Registration # 1344071
 
INT. EMPTY OFFICECluttered with celeb gossip rags.
From below frame, SAMMY JINGLES pops up, addresses us.SAMMYThis on??(beat)Hi! Um, hello. My name is SammyJingles and this is is uh- this ismy audition tape.He is naturally friendly, but painfully aware of hismediocrity. That cool friend made somewhat lame by the factthat they try so hard.SUPER TITLE:
Sammy Jingles, Real World Audition
CUT TO:Sammy fakes an argument with someone off camera.SAMMY (cont’d)Well, I didn’t stick my fingers inyour peanut butter...
(beat)BECAUSE I ONLY EAT CHUNKY!CUT TO:Sammy, hair fully blown out, wears a tight, black t-shirtwith white lettering -
GTS: Gym. Tan. Shovel.
SUPER TITLE:
Sammy Jingles, Arctic Shore Audition
Techno music pounds as Sammy fist pumps.CUT TO:Flamboyantly dressed, Sammy wags a finger at us.SUPER TITLE:
Sammy Jingles, Say Yes To The Dress Audition
SAMMY (cont’d)Oh honey, no. That sweetheartneckline just will not do!As the audition tapes roll on, each date stamp later andlater, Sammy grows increasingly more desperate.CUT TO:Sammy sports a baby bjorn, grins sheepishly at us.
 
2.SUPER TITLE:
Sammy Jingles, 16 & Pregnant Audition
SAMMY (cont’d)This one’s more of a hail mary...CUT TO:Sammy holds a plunger, stares pathetically.SUPER TITLE:
Sammy Jingles, Septic Adventures Audition
SAMMY (cont’d)Oh, crap....Defeated, he just stares back at us.
It’s hopeless
.CUT TO:Sammy in self-pity mode. Our camera man pipes up.WHISPERY VOICE (O.S.)What’s the problem, man?SAMMY(what’s the point)It's just... I live in the NorthPole. With Santa, Rudolph, Frosty,Abominable, Jack Frost... I mean,this place makes people famous. AndI've just been waiting for so-(beat)Just... Cut it.
CLICK!
The camera is turned off, the image collapsing in onitself in a blink, turning into-EXT. FROZEN TUNDRA - PRE-DAWNA star shining in the sky. It’s light reflects up off of theuntouched snow, onto a sign:
 WELCOME TO THE NORTH POLECHRISTMASTOWN
(
arrow pointing right
)
EVERY OTHER CIVILIZED PLACE ON EARTH
(
arrow pointing down
)A wicked wind whips, uncovering a bottom line.
CANADA 
(
arrow pointing left
)As the sun begins to rise, we follow the arrow right.

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