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Preface
I am not perfect. In fact, I probably make more mistakes than the average person. Since these booklets are essentially my lessons learned each year, its natural that some of the lessons Ive learned come from my mistakes. When I write these booklets each year I sometimes hesitate to share every detail because Im not always proud of the things Ive done. This year is no different. However, this year I have become concerned that perhaps by writing my experiences and sharing them, some people may feel I am acting out of arrogance; that I am essentially saying, Here, take this, because I know youre gonna need my advice! That could not be farther from the truth. I know that most of you could write a similar type of booklet and we would all benefit from the lessons you have learned. I would like to challenge each of you, in your own way, to reflect on your experiences this year- maybe even write some of your thoughts down. Perhaps even consider writing a booklet like this for your experiences of next year. Im not going to hop on the journal preaching bandwagon because I dont even write down my experiences until the latter third of the year! But more reflection and thought about our experiences opens the gate for divine tutoring.

Excavations of the Soul

This year I have discovered a wealth of spiritual insights from the archives of the churchs online database of talks found at LDS.org. All the Ensign magazines are found there beginning in 1970 until now. Therefore, old general conference talks are readily available. My home teachers introduced me to a new searching tool, LDS citation index. With the LDS citation index, you can take a scriptural reference and look up talks that have used that scripture. Its all pretty amazing! Additionally, I found a website that has an archive of all Neal A. Maxwells addresses. I was particularly excited about that because he is one of my favorites! I am a huge fan of the way he writes (and speaks, but usually to understand I have to go back and read the talks after they come out in print). You may have noticed that my titles for these booklets often come from the words of Elder Neal A. Maxell. This year is no different. From the April 2000 General Conference talk he gave, I found this quote: We are to do what we can within our allotted acreage, while still using whatever stretch there may be in any tethers. Within what is allotted to us, we can have spiritual contentmentThere are those who are unmarried, through no fault of their own, or yearning but childless couples. Still others face persistent and unreconciled relationships within their circles of loved ones, including offspring who have

become resistant to parental counsel (3 Ne. 1:29). In such similar situations, there are so many prickly and daily reminders. Being content means acceptance without self-pity. Meekly borne, however, deprivations such as these can end up being like excavations that make room for greatly enlarged souls. We are all given challenges to face in this mortal existence. Elder Maxwell acknowledges that in his talk. But he also makes the point that if we endure our challenges and are content with the things allotted unto [us] (Alma 29:3), we will find within our little sphere of existence the necessary experiences that will urge us on to eternity. Our individual excavations of the soul are the challenges we face, the physical and spiritual pain we endure, and the growth we experience because of those circumstances. Elder Maxwell says, Lifes necessary defining moments come without our allotmentsOur responses are what matter. Taking a little closer look at the meaning of the word excavation, it is apparent that it means more than digging. In archeology it means the exposing, processing, and recording of archeological remains. In medicine excavation means to hollow out a space. We can take from both of these meanings and get at the essence of what it means to experience excavations of the soul. An excavation can be the exposure of a weakness or strength. It probably includes the processing of the experiences we encounter in mortality. After all, we are

spiritual beings having a mortal experience. Excavation can include recording experiences, as well, in journals and other places (perhaps a booklet of reflecting on the year??). The idea of hollowing out my soul is also appealing to me because I know imperfections run rampant in my soul. Removing those things and replacing them with the love of the Savior and knowledge of His goodness can be part of the process of excavation as well. In the process of recording my own experiences this year, I have been able to learn more about myself and the spirituality of this mortal experience. I have felt some excavations of my soul from the exposure to the hollowing. It is my hope that, as you read my experiences, you will feel a desire to reflect on your souls and the changes that have taken place in you this year.

Book of Mormon Messages

In late August Bishop Richards challenged the youth of our ward- and anyone else in the ward who wanted to participate- to read the entire Book of Mormon by November 30th. I began riding public transportation to school and found that one of the perks is being able to do my scripture reading. It was a time for me to focus on the gospel before getting into my school focus. Beyond just checking my reading off a list, I

found it a good time to really try to listen to what the Holy Ghost may have to share with me. Sheri Dew, one of my heroes, once said, Our challenge is not in somehow coaxing the Lord to speak to us; our challenge is understanding what He has to say and preparing and learning how to understand Him when He speaks. I feel like listening to the Holy Ghost to messages Heavenly Father wants me to know is something that I dont do as well as I should. Its easy to get caught up in whats right in front of me. One morning as I was reading the Book of Mormon as I rode the train to work, I suddenly had a thought. The words of a letter I had read on my mission came to my mind. It wasnt a letter written to me or for me. In fact, it had nothing to do with me. But it also had everything to do with me. When I was in the first area of my mission a family in the small ward my companion and I attended invited us over to dinner. The Vassilaros family was young- just a young couple and their year old son. Brother Vassilaros shared with us a letter than his father had written to him while he was serving a mission. Although it was a personal letter from father to son, it was something that had a powerful impact on me. I asked for a copy of it and treasured it throughout my mission. I dont remember the specifics of the verses I read on the train that day. In fact, I dont think it even had anything to

do with the idea this letter Brother Vassilaros shared with me. But I got home from school that night and searched through my mission memorabilia for the letter. I found the copy and began to read Weaknesses are our friends; not enemies. They bring us humbly to Christ. They make us humble. They give us the need to pray and depend on God. They eventually become our strengths. At the end of each journey of change we always look back at the wilderness we just quit and express gratitude for having had to travel there. On the other hand, you must beware of magnifying your weaknesses so far out of proportion that they are all you can see. Introspection is good, but you must eventually accept yourself for who you are, strengths mixed with weaknesses, and learn to see you and others as God sees: with mercy, love, and hope. Leave your weaknesses alone; continually troubling yourself with them will never remove them but magnify them from the motes that they really are into the mountains that they really are not. Practice mercy for yourself; give yourself the benefit of the doubt- you are human, and a young, immature human at that. The Lord knows all of your problems and still loves you! You are worthy and deserving of His love just because of who you are, not by anything you do. Focusing your energy and attention on your problems will not make you more valuable or beloved; probably exactly the opposite will occur. As your weaknesses loom ever larger in your eyes, so will everyone elses. This is the devils way, not the divine way. Satan wants us to become full of ourselves and tormented by our sins and weaknesses. He destroys joy by removing the hope in a Redeemer.

He wants us to believe we are responsible for changing ourselves- which thing we cannot do- because God will not. If Satan can convince us that God could but wont, he has won a great victory. Satan wants us turned towards our weaknesses and sins. He wants us to choke on our problems. He desires that we squash joy in our Redeemer with the miserable weight of our sins. Just like him. He rejects the outstretched hand of his Redeemer. The Zen in repentance is that the more you turn towards your sins to directly confront and tackle them, the more powerful, deeply rooted, and unbeatable they grow. It is impossible for any man to root out his problems and weaknesses by the strength of his own arm. I know. But as you turn from them into the arms of Christ, leaving your weaknesses behind you, dropping them at the feet of the Savior as He has asked- by believing in Him as your Redeemer and assuming that He will take care of the problems as your repent- they will lose their power over you. You will no longer feel the need to whip yourself with them. I paraphrase Elder Holland (Ensign, October 1996): once you have done all the Lord expects of you to repent, please have the good sense to walk away from the ashes. You have no more weaknesses than any of us poor mortals, but you might occupy yourself with the few you have. The missionary experience tends to force us to look at ourselves in a light we never before considered. This is good, but we have to avoid getting

bogged down in the mess we find. Thats why we need a Redeemer. Let your clarifying cognizance of your weaknesses send you to your Redeemer, who is full of grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love. Believe in Him as your personal Savior (Alma 5:15)- He is quick to forgive and mighty to save. His grace is sufficient for all of us who turn to Him. You need the joy of forgiveness, not the misery of weakness in your countenance and eyes. How can you fully represent Him if you dont fully experience His power? Take your bundle of problems to Him, drop them once and for all at His feet, and expect His joy to fill you. That is His work- to give us joy. That is our work- to experience it and then to testify of it. You are fine, David. You are in the right place doing the right thing. The Lord loves you, I love you, and your mother loves you. You have the gift of the Holy Ghost, the covenants, and the Priesthood. Youre fine. Go enjoy your life and your work.

When I finished reading I knew that the Holy Ghost had sent that thought to my mind as I was reading the scriptures that morning. The letter included very specific things that I needed to be reminded of. It was a powerful lesson for me and it reinforced the power of the scriptures. As we read the scriptures, it demonstrates our obedience and faith. It provides an atmosphere where our hearts can receive revelation. It is a practice that opens to us the sheer power that is in the Book of Mormon as another testament of our Savior.

A few weeks later I was again on the train and reading the Book of Mormon. I was reading near the end of Alma. It was a familiar part of the Book of Alma that I had read many times. In fact, I remembered the chapter as one that contained a verse that had touched me in an earlier time. I came to verse 41 in Alma chapter 62. It reads, But behold, because of the exceedingly great length of the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility. In previous times I had read that verse and seen myself as one of the people who had been softened by the trials and afflictions. Reading that day I considered that maybe I had created a shell around my heart to protect it from the challenges of life. It seemed like I was creating a type of defense mechanism. But I was touched by the words of that scripture and by the power of the Holy Ghost. It was a change I needed to make. Im grateful for the inspiration I received through the Book of Mormon. This experience was part of a larger lesson for me about the Book of Mormon. In late November I was just a few days away from finishing the Book of Mormon challenge the Bishop had given the ward. I was ahead of schedule by about a week! One Sunday night I was able to attend a fireside where

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Sheri Dew was speaking. She gave an absolutely amazing talk with a message where everything seemed to speak directly to me. Near the end of the talk she said: Brothers and sisters, we need to think about Jesus Christ more than we do. We need to learn about Him more than we do. If you havent read the Book of Mormon anytime lately, I invite you to do it. In fact, you know what would be awesome? If you said to yourself, Im going to read it-every last page of itbetween now and New Years Day You can do it. You dont think you have enough time. You have enough time. Ill do it, if youll do it. At first I thought, Oh, arent I good?!?! I beat her to the punch. Im just about done with it! But then I felt an impression that I needed to begin again in line with Sister Dews challenge. Though unclear on the reason why, I realized a familiar feeling of peace and warmth indicating that I should take her challenge and begin again. What struck me more about this portion of her talk was the statement that we need to think more about Jesus Christ than we do. As Im currently writing this, I have not yet finished the Book of Mormon, but I am on track to finish by New Years Day. I have read the Book of Mormon about an hour each day, about 11-15 pages per day. On New Years Eve when I plan to finish the Book of Mormon, my reward will not be simply the satisfaction of taking on and finishing another Book of Mormon reading challenge. The reward has been in the

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process of completing the goal. I have felt myself being more tethered to the Savior, as Sister Dew explained in her talk that night. The idea of tethering ourselves to Him reminds me of the beautiful song, Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing. It says, Let thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee. A fetter, I learned, is a shackle or restraint; a sort of tether. If youve ever seen a falcon trainer wear a glove while his bird sits on his arm, sometimes there is a cord attached to the birds leg and to the trainers arm. The falcon may try to disobey and fly at inappropriate times, but he is attached to by this fetter. I am sometimes like a disobedient falcon, trying to fly away when its not appropriate or trying to fly in the wrong direction or using the wrong method. Hopefully, my tether to the Savior is strong enough to bring me back to Him. Reading each day has brought me closer to the Lord in many ways- in thought, in my actions, and it has deepened my understanding of my complete reliance on the atonement. The concluding part of Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing, gives voice to my feelings. Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love; Here's my heart, O take and seal it, Seal it for thy courts above.

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The Gardener
In a previous year I wrote about the talk by Hugh B. Brown and the Currant Bush. Many of you have read it and know it well or maybe youve heard it quoted in a Sunday school lesson. It is a story that touches me in so many ways. At the risk of beating a dead horse, I wanted to include it as an important experience for me this year as well. Early in the year, I heard the talk as a podcast from my iTunes library. I think it was actually a recording of the original occasion when Elder Brown shared the experience back in May of 1968. I highly recommend it for any of you who have not read it. Im not going to reprint it in this booklet, but its easy enough to access online if you feel like its something you want to revisit. As I listened to Elder Brown share his story I was filled with the warmth of Gods love for me. The feeling of love came from an understanding of the story and how Elder Brown was cut down in order to have experiences that would allow him to be a better tool in the hands of our Heavenly Father. Particularly, it caught my interest because of the evidence it provided that God knows each of His children. I am one of His children and, although, there is evidence all around us that we are known by Him, its easy to forget. It was a tender mercy to hear the words of Elder Browns story again from his own mouth and to see how it applied in my life at that time.

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In November at the Sheri Dew fireside I mentioned previously, she reiterated this concept in different words. She shared the experience of having made plans to speak at a conference in Canada. At the last minute some problems came up at work and she thought maybe she would have to stay home so she could deal with these problems. After wringing her hands and worrying about it she finally decided to just see if she could adjust the flights and come home sooner. She told of how she called Delta airlines at midnight, just a few hours before she was to leave on her trip (8am the following day). Miraculously, she got an agent on the phone who knew who she was because Sister Dew had helped the agents father with a project a long time ago. The agent was very helpful and arranged everything beautifully. This was a testimony to Sister Dew that Heavenly Father knows her and wants to help her. She said, I came back from that trip and said to myself, Okay, you just had a living example of a principle that applies to every one of us. And that is, that in that moment, God knew who I was. He knew where I was. He knew what my life mission was, meaning what I had promised to do, and he knew what I needed in the moment to accomplish that mission. I think that principle is true. God knows who you are by name. He knows where you are. He has put you where you are. He knows what your mission is- and I mean, your life mission. I believe we each came with a life mission with a scope of things we pre-mortally committed to

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do, said we were willing to do, said we were willing to help accomplish in the building up of the kingdom of God in the last part of the latter days. And He also knows exactly what we need to accomplish that mission. I have had a whole lot of travel arrangements that did not work out nearly as quick as that one did. But in that moment those little things helped me do something that I think I actually agreed to do and needed to do. And I believe that principle is true. You have a mission. And God will help you. He will help you if you want Him to and if you ask Him to. I dont know if youve ever had an experience where everything fall into place just right the perfect storm, so to speak and you know that Heavenly Father is aware of you. I had that experience several times on my mission. I feel like Im living an experience of that right now as I have just completed my first semester of my PhD program at the University of Utah. I suspect that my acceptance into the program was a product of very good timing in applying and not so much a product of being the best candidate who applied. I landed in a great place at the university working with an advisor/mentor who is a great fit for me personally. Initially, she was intimidating to me. However, I know now that she demonstrates the perfect combination of caring for and challenging her students. I have no doubt that Heavenly Father knows each of us individually and He wants to help us fulfill our mortal life mission, like Sister Dew said if you ask Him to.

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He Hears Me
Hilary Weeks sings a great song called He Hears Me. Here I am again, down on my knees And with every pleading word, Thy comfort I seek Though the words are slow to come, My thoughts are racing by Peace fills the room, Thy spirit is nigh He hears me When I'm crying in the night He hears me When my soul longs to fight Till the morning will come And the light of the dawn reassures... He hears me I worked at Quiznos for the first half of the year. While it wasnt my dream job, it was a good opportunity for me to work with my aunt, Helen. I enjoyed working with her because she is great at what she does, but I also enjoyed the blessing of getting to know her more and building a dear friendship with her. Because I was working part time and because I was constantly fighting off medical bills, I often found my wallet empty and deadlines staring me in the face. As the early winter months began to give way to the spring, I decided I was going to start riding my bike to work to save on gas money. It was about 12.5 miles to ride to work, but there was a nice bike path for 95% of the way. It ended up usually taking me about 45

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minutes to an hour depending on the wind. I was clearly not in the best physical shape and I was riding a mountain bike as opposed to a road bike. But I felt like it was worth it. I could get some exercise and save money! One day that I rode to work I remember looking out the window of the store just before my shift was ending. The windows at the store faced south and west. It looked clear and sunny. When my shift ended I clocked out and changed into my gym shorts and t-shirt to ride home. When I got outside and on my bike the wind nearly knocked me over! Looking to the north I could see dark clouds and they seemed to be moving my way. I figured a little rain wouldnt hurt me and I began my trek homeward. I was riding toward the storm and the storm was moving toward me. It wasnt long before the rain drop began to wet my hair and clothes. At first it wasnt bad, but when the wind really started to blow, it started to get cold. I pulled out my phone and tried to call my dad and mom. Neither one answered. I figured there was nothing to do but move forward. And I was moving forward slowly, but at least going in the right direction. Have you ever been bike riding against the wind? For me, it is one of the worst feelings! I was getting more and more frustrated with my struggle against the wind.

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My hands were cold and I was beginning to drip. Then my phone started ringing! It was my mom. My dad was in the shower when I called cleaning up after working outside in the rain, and he had started to wonder while in the shower if I had taken my bike to work that day. He called to my mom and asked her to try to contact me. That was when my mom called. She said someone would be there to meet me at the Centerville exit. Just as I arrived at the exit, my dad pulled up in his truck and we loaded my bike. It wasnt long before I was warm and safe within my dads truck. As I thought about that experience, I couldnt help but draw an analogy to how our Heavenly Father is always eager to rescue us. While I was riding home, I remembered my dad telling me that if I ever needed a ride home when I had taken my bike to work, he would be willing to come get me. Similarly, our Heavenly Father offers his help willingly if we will call on Him for assistance in our times of need. That wasnt the only time my dad saved me this year. Another time, before I started riding my bike to work, I realized that I was going to need gas to get to work, but I didnt have enough money to stretch that far. I had exhausted all my options and decided to take the matter to the Lord. I prayed that

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I would somehow have the means to get gas in my car so I could get to work. The next day my dad asked to borrow my car for a quick errand. Seeing that it was low on gas, he filled it up! I dont think he felt like it was a big deal and I know he didnt see it as an answer to my prayers, but it was huge. I was able to get through until the next paycheck. Does the Almighty God in Heaven know who I am? Does He hear my prayers? I know that He does. It is my testimony that the God of the universe is sensitive to my very finite needs, and that He attends to these miniscule needs according to the plan He has for my personal growth. Of pre-eminent importance in this life are our souls growth and our ability to learn to use our free agency well.

What Makes You Happy?

When the semester started in August, I started riding the frontrunner and trax to school each day. It took me about an hour to get to school, but it was doable. I also had time to read and do homework while I was traveling, which would not be possible while driving. Another fun part of using the public transportation system is that you get to see all kinds of crazy things and for a people watcher its quite fun. On my mission I was able to do the same thing while riding the subway and

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busses in Philly - observe people and how they interact with others and the environment. One day as I was sitting on trax, a middle-aged man sat down next to me. I was reading and like most train riders, I just keep to myself. However, my reading was interrupted as the man next to me started up a conversation. He asked if I was a student and I replied that I was. Then he asked what I was studying and what I wanted to do when I finished. All of these were normal questions. Then he suddenly said, What makes you happy? Before I could answer he quickly said, I think our happiness is based on our performance in life. At first, the idea kind of resonated with me. If we succeed we are usually happy people, right? But it only took a second before my mind rejected the idea. I fail a lot. If my happiness was based on my performance, I would generally be an unhappy person. So, I told him that my happiness comes from being with people I love my family, my friends and I told him my thought about why performance doesnt bring happiness. He kind of shrugged at my answer and started babbling on about his philosophy. I didnt really pay much attention because I was caught up in my thoughts about what had just occurred. As a person studying how the mind affects our performances, it was a significant question. If something other than our performance brings us happiness, why do people want

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to succeed so badly? I was so immersed in the classes I was taking that I naturally applied the things I learned in school to my life. I was learning about motivation theory in class. Dr. Newton, my advisor, is a motivation guru. Much of her research has focused on motivation and how to maximize intrinsic motivation. We had talked about self-determination theory in class, which is based on the work of two social psychologists, Ryan and Deci. The theory is based on the idea that in order to increase intrinsic motivation (meaning doing things because they are naturally rewarding to us and out of our sheer enjoyment of the activity) we should maximize the three basic needs of humans: competency, autonomy, and relatedness. Competency refers to being able to perform tasks in your environment. Autonomy refers to the feeling of being in charge of oneself and having the freedom to choose. Relatedness refers to a natural desire to be connected with our environment through the people around us. When I started thinking about happiness in relation to self-determination theory and the basic needs, it became obvious to me that the gospel of Jesus Christ is founded on these principles. The gospel offers us many opportunities for growth callings, serving others, and just following the teachings of Jesus. Even if we dont necessarily succeed in all that we do, the important part is that we are moving in the

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right direction and making progress (this is another type of motivation, mastery motivation, where what matters most is the progress of mastering skills). This fills our need for competency. The gospel is based around respecting the free agency of others. The Saviors mission on earth and death was enacted because those of us in heaven who chose to come to earth believed so strongly in the necessity for the growth that would come as we were challenged on earth to use our agency. This fills our need for autonomy. The gospel revolves around families and eternal relationships. Understanding our Heavenly Fathers love and learning to love those around us is a seminal teaching of the gospel of Jesus Christ. This fills our need for relatedness. If I were to answer the mans question again I would say that performance doesnt always make us happy. But it can. Our performance can make us happy if our motivation for performing well in life is based on competency, autonomy, and relatedness as it translates from the gospel to our daily lives. When my performance each day is linked to the Saviors teachings and especially His atoning sacrifice for me, I know I will be happy.

One Foot in Front of the Other

At the beginning of December I began to realize that my aunt, Sherlyn, had passed away a year ago. The first

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thought that came to my mind was, that if time passed that quickly was I any better as a person today than I was a year ago? And if not, why not? What changes did I need to make in my approach to life that would facilitate the adjustments I needed to make? I cant tell you that I have all the answers to those questions. But please dont stop reading! Ill give you my best explanation. I started to reflect on something I had read earlier this year that had an impact on me. It was a talk I had read given by Elder Neal A. Maxwell at the University of Utah Institute of Religion in 1983. The talk is titled, The Education of Our Desires. If I have not made the adjustments in my life to become better today than I was a year ago, it struck me that perhaps I should examine more closely my desires. Elder Maxell first acknowledges that we have great challenges facing us in mortality. He says, It is your lot to live in a secular society when there is growing tolerance for almost everything except that which is spiritual, and when more and more individuals conclude that there are no absolute principles to be honored, only personal preferences to be obeyedYours is the time, scripturally speaking, when some people will rage against that which is good and will, for the praise of the world, even make war upon the saints. You will need to learn to love and to defend the Book of MormonYou will handle such stern challenges because you are made of stern stuff. You will be able to manage all of these things because you

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have oil in your lampsBy heightening your literacy in spiritual things, you will become increasingly able to withstand the heat of the day. Consider this experience I had this semester in relation to the above quote. I was walking back to the exercise and sport sciences offices with a professor and another student. We had just completed a class. Both of us students were her teaching assistants. The conversation turned to sports, as it usually did, and the student started talking about Jimmer Fredette and how the BYU fans really elevated him to star status and put him on a pedestal. Within a matter of seconds the conversation turned. The student said, BYU fans need to understand that Jimmer is not God! He was clearly exaggerating and trying to push my buttons knowing that I was a BYU alumni. Then this professor said without warning, And they need to realize that Joseph Smith is not God either! I was speechless! I was blindsided by the comment because it really came out of nowhere. It was clearly a misconception about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But it caught me off guard. Well, I said nothing. I am not proud of that. In fact, if I were to go back and relive that situation I would do it differently. At some point I hope to have the opportunity to clear up some obvious misconceptions about the church and make known my testimony concerning the Prophet Joseph Smith and the restored church. Both of those individuals are

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outspoken and obviously have negative feelings toward the church for different reasons, which are not important for this story. The point I would like to make here is the lack of tolerance for religion and spirituality is growing. Religion has almost become a bad word. Conversations of religion are considered taboo. All this from a nation that claims the motto In God we trust. Elder Maxwell continues in his talk by referring to a quote by President Joseph F. Smith where he says, You and I must take great care concerning the education of our desires. Elder Maxwell defines our desire as that which truly calls the cadence for our thoughts and our deeds. He then says, our desires clearly control the tilt of our souls. The core of what these quotes are saying should resonate with those of you who are familiar with Elder Dallin H. Oaks talk in the April 2011 General Conference titled, Desire. He says essentially the same thing, Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions. The desires we act on determine our changing, our achieving, and our becoming. Have they made the case yet for the importance of desires? For me they did. Back to Elder Maxwells talkHe instructed, It is the continuing education of our desires and the alignment of those desires with the desires of our Heavenly Father that becomes the great challenge of

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education for each of usUnless you align your desires with those of the Lord you will have neither happiness here nor everlasting joy in the world to comeYou must be desirous of being further instructed in the ways of the Lord and in the grammar of the gospel. In my reflection on the year since my aunt died, I am aware that I have not made any miraculous changes in my life, but through consistent study of the gospel my capacity for understanding the gospel has increased. I am trying to educate my desires. Elder Maxwells address focuses on some ways in which we can educate our desires. He says, I focus tonight on our strengthening our gospel grasp upon the iron rod. Frankly, brothers and sisters, I see no way for us to educate our desires except for us to first understand Gods desires for us and then to proceed in that lifelong educational process to align our desires with his. In the scriptures, the iron rod is a symbol for the scriptures. The mere idea that the importance of daily scripture study is taught to us over and over again should indicate its worth. It is a major part of gospel growth. Yet somehow it often takes a back seat to other pursuits. The experience I related earlier in the booklet about reading the Book of Mormon reaffirmed the importance of the scriptures for me. Learning what is expected of us and why it is expected

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of us, is crucial to aligning our desires with Heavenly Fathers desires for us. His ultimate desire for us is to give us eternal life and, subsequently, joy now and joy in eternity. The process of aligning our desires is not easy. It requires fundamental changes in our perspective on life and reevaluation of our goals. Elder Maxwell says this about the difficult process: Once we have made his purposes for us paramount in our lives our souls will be wrenched again and again and again. There is no pain-free way that the natural man can be realigned, and thats why we must deeply desire to be like Him so those desires can then be carried out in our lives Around us all the time there are people settling for less than they are, for less than they have the possibility to become. And I believe so much of that stems from an intrinsic failure for them to educate their desires. Some people in the world today believe that you cant control how you feel or what you desire. I believe this idea is false. It would impede our free agency and limit our ability to follow the commandments. Educating our desires is not simply a matter of reading and making ones mind up to change. I think it entails a much more spiritual process. It involves communicating our desires to our Heavenly Father in prayer and specifically expressing our desire to submit to His will and then consistently act upon the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We must allow Him to change us.

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If Im not a completely new and better person since last year, I can at least acknowledge things Ive learned. Reflecting on the past year has taught me that by making one little change after another in my life I will begin to educate my desires and see evidence of improvement and progress. Its not an easy process, but it begins by moving in the right direction, one foot in front of the other.

Spiritual Roots
In early December in Davis County, Utah there was a windstorm with wind speeds up to 102 mph. The winds knocked over semi-trucks on the freeway. It caused power outages across the county. Debris and empty garbage cans were blown about. Trees were knocked over. The windstorm caused a great deal of damage. The day after the storm, I rode an express bus to school in the morning. On the way home I usually would ride the frontrunner train, but the Farmington frontrunner station was closed down because of damages from the windstorm. To get home that day I had to ride a different bus that I wasnt familiar with. Its route traveled through Orchard drive in Bountiful, onto main street in Centerville, and on into Farmington. As we traveled through the streets of each of these towns, I was in awe at the damage the storm had caused. I heard stories, but seeing

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it in person was incredible. What I was most amazed at was the size of the trees that were blown over. Trees were uprooted that had been there for probably hundreds of years! I watched while the bus drove and I noticed that smaller trees were still standing. There were tiny trees that had not been damaged at all! Why was it that some of the huge trees had given way to the fierce winds and some of the smaller trees had fallen? In my mind I came up with a couple different possibilities. Perhaps the roots of the larger trees did not run deep enough in proportion to their size to stabalize the part above ground in such raging winds. As I thought about this idea, my mind turned to the Sheri Dew fireside I had just recently attended. She told a story about how she had finished planting some perennial flowers in her yard at 9pm one summer evening and then the next morning they were gone. They werent just picked, but the entire plant was gone and it left holes in the ground where they used to be. After some investigating she found that the new neighbor girl, who was just 6 years old, had pulled up the flowers and taken them to her back yard and lined them up along their back patio. The little girl just loved flowers and seeing that they came out of the ground so easily it was simple for her to pull them all out (with the help of some cousins).

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Sister Dew told this story to make a point about a gospel principle she wanted to share with us that night. To relate it to the gospel she said, How are your spiritual roots? Are they rooted? Have they been planted? How long have they been planted? Have they been watered, nurtured, fertilized, and allowed to grow? Because were living in the latter part of the latter days when if our personal spiritual roots arent pretty deep and growing deeper and deeper and deeper, Satan can uproot us with his equivalent of a six year old, meaning it doesnt take much. If you want to take the analogy a little bit further, the interesting thing about this plant is what attracted the little six year old was the beautiful flower on top, and in our world today we tend to look at whats visible. Dont we? But the root you cant see, and it actually isnt all that pretty. It is actually way more important than the flower that you can see and is prettier to the eye. Because if the root gets damaged or dies, the flower cant grow, and the flower will die. I have found myself lately thinking about some interesting questions. Ive found myself thinking about the parts of me that arent visible to you; the parts that you cant see. I invite you to think about the parts of you that we cant see, that are not visible to the eye. What does your faith look like? I asked myself, Sheri, what does your faith look like? What does your courage look like? What does your integrity look like? Whats going on in that head of yours? How much knowledge is there in there? Is it growing? Is it developing? Is it expanding? Or is it not? What are you taking inside of yourself by what you see, listen to, observe, and take in? Because we control what we bring into ourselves. How is it affecting my heart?

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How is it affecting my testimony? How is it affecting whether or not the spirit will dwell with me? I invite you to think about what the part of you that we cant see, looks like. My theory is that the trees in the recent windstorm didnt have deep roots and that the winds were too much. Satan is raging throughout the world right now, blowing many people out of their gospel centered habits. He is anxious to find weaknesses that will give way to his attempts at knocking us over. Like, Sister Dew says, it doesnt take much the equivalent of a six year old. It seems that unless we are constantly striving to grow our roots deeper, we are more vulnerable to the winds that constantly blow around us in this world. The questions that Sister Dew asked in her talk that night really caused me to reflect. I challenge you to reflect on those questions or maybe similar but more pertinent questions for your life. It is often the unseen things that are more important than what is visible. I am reminded of a classic newspaper article titled, Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. When the young girl poses the question to the editor of the New York Sun newspaper, Francis Pharcellus Church, he replies with a beautiful essay on the existence of Santa Claus. He claims that reality is often what you cannot see.

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Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world. Some of the most real things I know are based on feelings on the unseen parts of me. I know that Heavenly Father knows me. I cant see Him or touch Him, but I know He is there. I can feel His love for me and for those around me. I am grateful for things unseen. My spiritual roots need to go deeper. They need to run deep enough to cling to the core of the earth so that I can withstand the weathering of worldly winds. Jesus Christ is that core. My goal is to tether myself to Him and to the Father.

Understanding Maps
There are all different types of maps city maps, world maps, political maps, climate maps, topographic maps, Disneyland maps, mall maps, and road maps. I used maps on my mission a lot! They were super useful in finding our way around new areas. As long as you know how to read a map, they can be the most essential thing for a trip. But selecting the correct type of map is important. I have thought a lot about maps this year because of an article I read from the New Era published in the November 1971 edition. It was written by C.

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Terry Warner and titled, An Open Letter to Students: On Having Faith and Thinking for Yourself. Brother Warner suggests that many different kinds of maps can represent the same area accurately, just with different information. He says, No map can show everything about the area it represents. Indeed, in order to be intelligible, a map must drastically simplify things; it must leave out all but what it means to representFor example, [the cartographer] may want to make a map that enables motorists to travel most efficiently across the country. On this map he symbolizes the freeways and toll roads and elevations, but he makes no indication of fishing holes or lilac trees or shops that sell imported cheese. Just like the cartographers goals for the map influence what is included, an individuals goals shape their outlook on life and what is included in the past, present, and future for that person. Our maps are influenced by (1) social factors (goals of family and society, training and education), and (2) individual factors (a persons own desires and goals). Whatever our maps include, then, influences our view of the world. Brother Warner cites a few examples to illustrate this point. Eskimos can differentiate between nine types of snow. Most people know only one kind of snow - the white kind or sometimes we say, wet snow or big flakes. Meteorologists can see a storm coming by the type of clouds on the horizon. Most people only see clouds. Then he offers this

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powerful insight: The trouble with the others [meaning nonEskimos and non-meteorologists] is that, though they have perfectly good eyesight and hearing, their maps of realitytheir networks of ideas- are deficient. Essentially, we see things the way that our maps or ideas represent them. This idea of maps is important to me because of the opening line of Brother Warners article. It reads: Has is ever troubled you that many intelligent and highly educated people dont share your religious beliefs? For me, the answer is yes. After having attended school going on 19 years now, that question has crossed my mind. Ive interacted with some very intelligent people who dont have any faith in a divine being. It almost seems as if their education has robbed them of the greatest truths the universe has to offer. This article has prompted me to reframe my view of education in general. Why am I working towards another degree? How does it fit in with spiritual knowledge? Is my knowledge in the gospel complementary to the secular knowledge I spend so much time scrutinizing in my PhD program? The answers are not completely clear to me at the moment, but Im confident that they will. Brother Warner gives five final insights to conclude. 1. Do not doubt your own convictions because the intellectuals you interact with do not believe as you do.

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2. It is good to learn all you can from academically trained nonbelievers in their respective professional areas, where your purposes and theirs coincide. But where your desires and purposes differ from theirs- where, for example, you are seeking eternal life and they are not- their maps will not help you. 3. You can integrate a secular map into a gospel one, but not the other way around. This is because the latter represents more than the former. 4. You can make an impact on these intellectuals by capitalizing on the discrepancy between his desires and his inherited mapHe cannot help but see, if he is honest, that you have achieved what he wants in lifeIf you are what you ought to be, what you are will call into question all hes been taught to believe. 5. We must change and develop ourselves so that we can comprehend the things of God. We do this by (1) seeking a change of heart, and (2) studying the scriptures. Why study the scriptures? Because they contain the core of the Lords map of reality insofar as it can be adapted to our understanding. You should read, make notes on, and reread the scriptures and the conference reports, pleading with the Lord that your heart will be softened and that these writings will, line upon line, grow comprehensible to you.

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There are so many personal lessons for me in those five points. I hope they have sparked light in your mind for something that you have been thinking about. We are all minorities on the earth as members of the church. Therefore, there are ways all around us to apply these principles to our friends who have not been blessed by the gospel yet, whether or not they are considered intellectuals. I encourage you to consider your own map and evaluate how it fits into the gospel map.

Still Time
Girls camp this year was planned by the stake. I was called as the ward camp leader a year earlier so it was nice to have the stake in charge. The theme this year was, Who Are You? and the challenge was to encourage the young women of the stake to reflect on their worth as daughters of God and how they should act once they are aware of that. I was touched by the theme and the messages presented at camp. As part of each day at camp the stake leaders set aside 30 minutes to an hour of still time. Still time meant that each girl was to find a quiet place outside of their cabins to write in their journal, read their scriptures, and ponder the important things in life. It was a challenge for some of the girls and other girls really embraced the quiet time.

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I found myself loving each minute of still time. I was able to reflect on some parts of the scriptures that had touched my soul. Alma 34:31 was something I had read many times before, but for some reason it had really sunk into my heart this time. It says, Yea, I would that ye would come forth and harden not your hearts any longer; for behold, now is the time and the day of your salvation; and therefore, if ye will repent and harden not your hearts, immediately shall the great plan of redemption be brought about unto you. That scripture read differently in my mind this time. I felt like it was saying each day, every day of our lives is a part of eternity. We often speak about eternity as a future point in time, but right now is a part of eternity. I also felt like it said as we repent the plan of redemption the miracle of the atonement would be made effective in our lives now. Knowing that the atonement works each day in our lives is something I was familiar with, but seeing it pop out of the pages for me in that scripture really impacted me. It reminded me of a quote by Robert L. Millet. He said, Each of us knows deep down that eventually we must surrender to the Lord and open ourselves to his will for us. But not today. Not that way. Surely, we suppose, there will come a time when we will be more prepared to make the sacrifice of self and lay it all on Gods alter. But not now. The cold hard fact is that if we wait until some special, red-letter day to offer our all to the Almighty, the day may never come.

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Each day as still time began I would go check in all the cabins and encourage the girls to come out and enjoy nature while they read. One day there were two girls who refused to come out. I told them that I knew they were comfortable on their beds and that it might be a challenge, but I also told them it was something the stake leaders had encouraged us to do. It was a matter of obedience, I explained. I expressed my hope that they would chose to do what was asked and I knew Heavenly Father would bless them for good choices. I walked out of their cabin and hoped that they would decide to come out on their own. I certainly couldnt make them. A couple minutes, later one of the girls sauntered out of the cabin and found a place to experience still time in nature. I read the following scripture shortly thereafter. Therefore, O my son, whosoever will come may come and partake of the waters of life freely; and whosoever will not come the same is not compelled to come; but in the last day it shall be restored unto him according to his deeds (Alma 42:27). Still time is something I want to transfer into my daily life. It may not be that I can go outside and enjoy nature every time, but I can certainly find a quiet place to ponder and commune with the Lord. It is in those quiet moments that the Lord will speak to us.

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