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Published by Chris Bailey

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Published by: Chris Bailey on Feb 12, 2012
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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(CRAIG walks in the restraint at a time when staff is switching shifts. He works his way to the back. Ashis groans and moans fill the room they are interrupted by the skipping and prancing of MICHAEL)
MICHAELWorky Work! I love Work!
(STEVEN scampers across the floor appearing lazy and indifferent)
CRAIGGood lord, what did I do to deserve this?MICHAELWhat a wonderful night this will be!CRAIGSteven, why don¶t you go take over things in the back STEVENI don¶t wanna do anything but sit here and do nothingMICHAELI¶ll do it sir!CRAIGYou just keep doing whatever it is that you¶re doingMICHAELCleaning the gum off from underneath the table Sir!CRAIGPlease stop calling me sir MICHAELAlrighty Mr. CraigCRAIGDo you ever stop?MICHAEL
Stop what? Smiling? Laughing? Enjoying life to the fullest?
(CRAIG gives up and turns back to STEVEN)
CRAIGGo clean the freaking dishes Steven!STEVENAww naw, you¶re good... You can handle that.CRAIG No. You can. I¶m not going to say it again.STEVENYou have any idea how much I hate dishes?CRAIGDo have any idea how much I hate to watch you sit on your lazy ass and get paid for doing absolutely nothing?STEVENThose dang dishes got some nasty stuff on them. When was the last time you donedishes?!CRAIGThis is irrelevantSTEVENJust last week I was doing this one set after a birthday party and do you know what Ifound? 3 bloody teeth. How does that stuff happen?CRAIGI don¶t know, and frankly I don¶t care. Right now, I promise you won¶t find any teethanywhere.STEVENOne measly canine, and I am out of here!
(MICHAEL approaches CRAIG with his hands full of pieces of gum he has collected)
Do you want to hold these Mr. CraigCRAIGMichael« (MICHAEL increasingly smiles at him) «NO!(MICHAEL EXITS to the back of the kitchen and CRAIG does a slow spin to look around the restaurant only to throw his hand up and EXIT)
(MICHAEL finishes working with one of the tables and plops a seat next to CRAIG who isdoing some managerial paperwork)MICHAELHi CraigCRAIGHello there MichaelMICHAEL(MICAHEL strangely smiles at him until he looks up from his paper work,giggles, and then unwraps his sandwich. His legs swing underneath the chair like a hyper 5 year old. He begins singing a song while he chews on a bite) Food in my mouth makesmy tummy happy, wait a few hours and it all turns crappy!CRAIGDid you seriously just sing a verse of song about defecating?MICHAELYes si« Craig. I did indeed. Defecating is natural and we do not want to beunnatural, do we!CRAIGGod forbid we ever consider you normalMICHAEL

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