through downtown Charleston with my father-in-law.
Hey, Hey, Hey!
Raj showed uncharacteristic warmth. He is in Geeta\u2019s shit
He sounded sincere. I might as well listen to him. He
wanted to explain his actions to me. I think I understood them
before, but it was worth it to listen to his telling.
I feigned exhaustion; yes feigned. I have been traveling a lot recently. I had just given a barn burning speech with piano solo. I am in the middle of a big conference where I am to be the star. Anyone can understand how tired I must be.
I have had good nights sleep for the last three. I
prepared for my slumber last evening in a whirlpool tub. The
food is free and pretty much made to my order. I am well
rested, fed and had only an hour or so of direct labor thus far.
The perception is still the best card I have to play and I
refuse to give it up. People always have sympathy for those
fatigued by glory.
Raj expressed great remorse for not spending enough time
with Geeta after the loss of her mother. \u201cShe didn\u2019t come right
to me. Helen Gerhardstein and her daughters acted as the cocoon
of comfort\u201d. He was given little relief at work. He
considered, as many men do, breadwinning time to be a labor of
love. But he was a doctor at Harvard. He was to be OK in any
\u201cI could have taken that chance to barge into her life and put her on a plane to Delhi\u201d. \u201cShe had wonderful possibilities as a wife\u201d. \u201cI only needed to call my sister and she would be engaged to a fine man in no time\u201d.
\u201cI don\u2019t believe that you did. I don\u2019t think you had any
ill intent. By the way I was raised; it was not to be that way.
I am a man. I do not dream of weddings they way those ladies
do. I had seen it in my visions a few times. I thought it
would be an All-India Doctor or some such man. I also saw her
being happy in it.\u201d
\u201cI married a woman in that way and loved her with all of my
heart. She was educated and professionally strong. She worked
all the time in the states that immigration would allow. She
raised that wonderful daughter more than I did. It shames me to
\u201cAfter a series of weddings in the family I began to get
phone calls. I couldn\u2019t bring myself to broach the subject with
Sangeeta and I wasn\u2019t sure I believed in the things I was to
\u201cIf you want to understand how great my marriage was; it
was as strong a love as you can see with Richard and Helen. I
respected that too. Sangeeta had come to see her future through
different eyes. Could she find the type of love that Helen
Gerhardstein did? If so, then why not?\u201d
\u201cI had to think quickly. I told them that she was not able
to have children; that she was ashamed and would probably never
marry. They said they could still find a husband for a woman
who was infertile. It would not be the find doctor I had
envisioned. She would have to settle for less because of
something that was a lie. It was a lie that I told. I asked
them to let her be\u201d.
\u201cA few years later I told them of the great friendship she had with an American boy who didn\u2019t want children. I never went beyond the term \u2018friendship\u2019\u201d.
Now bringing you back...
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