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Demystifying Charisma

Demystifying Charisma

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Published by landjk

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Published by: landjk on Nov 21, 2008
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07/24/2011

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Demystifying Charisma... _____________________________________________Hey guys,A few nights ago, I went barhopping with afriend of mine. We both talked to truck loadsof women and used practically the samematerial on them. But by the end of the nightmy friend's results were so bad he felt thathe was blessed with an unlikable self.My experience, however, was the totalopposite. I felt like Satan with pitchfork inhand, inciting one girl after the next toengage in some naughty mirth. Was it becauseof my looks? Was it because I have someimpalpable quality about me called“charisma,” which is not teachable? Was itbecause I am Satan? No - it was none of thesethings. Instead, it was due to a set oflearned skills. I know this because, similarto my friend, I spent years feeling like aboring sloth before transforming myself intoa flittering butterfly charming one group ofwomen to the next.But before I reveal to you the skills thatdistinguish a charismatic Casanova from afloundering Waldo, I am going to give you aquick overview of my method, NaturalizedAttraction.Naturalized Attraction is not about trying toapply therapeutic techniques used in psychologyto dating, attracting, and seducing women. Noris it based upon the unfounded claimspropounded by the “let's play pseudo-psychologistto the helpless, needy and pathetic” gurus of theworld - think Dr. Phil!The starting point of “Naturalized Attraction”is always the REAL WORLD. The method strivesto observe, model, and improve upon boththe natural social behaviors that generateattraction in women, and the glue that holdsthese behaviors together. Our culture hasmystified this glue under the rubric“charisma” as an innate, intangible,non-teachable quality possessed only byblessed individuals. “Charisma,” however, isactually the combination of a few learnableand repeatable skills.So this begs the question: What skills
 
constitute charisma and how does a person goabout acquiring these skills?Two skills that play a mainstay in beingcharismatic are: owning your material, andhaving a strong intent. Let's start with thefirst one, owning your material. There are alot of men who cringe at the idea of havingwell rehearsed jokes and stories prepared forsocial interactions. You might be one of thesemen. If so, think about this: Most sociallyadept people will unconsciously tell thesame jokes and stories over and over again,honing them to perfection. Oftentimes, however,once a person is made conscious of, for example,using a rehearsed story, he begins to worry thathe will come across to women as rehearsed. Hemay develop a guilty conscience about using hisstory, thinking to himself that using rehearsedmaterial is akin to wiling a woman into the sack.These insecurities are ludicrous. I have nevermet a single socially adept person who usedcompletely new material in every socialinteraction. Purge your self of these worries.Remember: Whether you are conscious of it or not,having at least some rehearsed material is partof having strong social skills.Men with strong social skills are able tosimultaneously engage a woman - with, forexample, quips and stories - while alsoanalyzing what they need to do to further engageand attract her (Note: I define “attraction” notas how a woman judges you, but as what you do toher mind and body. Attraction or as I call it“Prizing” is getting a woman so emotionallycharged, she is compelled to chase you). I havea friend who is a master at this. He can flow fromone story to the next while simultaneously gauginga woman's level of attraction for him. This allowshim to “in real time” make adjustments to hismaterial that will further engage and attractthe woman to him. When you have well rehearsedmaterial your brain power will not be expended onremembering, for example, a particular jest or story.Instead, you will have extra brain powerto analyze what you need to do to further engageand attract her.I am bit fastidious, however, about people usingothers material. If you are using someone else'smaterial, you risk coming across as fake. I havewitnessed men rambling on for a good hour, talkingabout their friend's adventures and experiences asif they were their own. Once they ran out ofmaterial, the women they were engaging almost alwayswalked away. Why did this happen? I think women
 
intuitively know when men are incongruent andinauthentic. When, on the contrary, you use yourown material, even if it is rehearsed, it will beauthentic because you are displaying who you are. Afew minutes of authentic material about yourself - who you are, what you are about, yourexperiences and adventures…and so on - will get youfurther with women than a man who goes on for hourswith inauthentic material borrowed from other people.Having a strong intent also plays an important rolein acting charismatic. A few years back, women wouldoften times lose interest while talking to me orthink that I was B.S.-ing them. The reason was thatthey were picking up on my weak intent. Even thegirls lumbered with IQs barley into the doubledigits picked up on this weakness. My problem: Ineeded to develop a strong intent.But what does it mean to have a strong intent?This is one of the most misunderstood terms outthere. This is due to the follies of some of thebranches within the field of psychology - such as,Neuro-Linguistic Programming - that fails to beprecise when defining terminology. Having a strongintent is most commonly misunderstood as meaning:A congruency between a person's external behaviorsand his internal beliefs. This is, however, notthe meaning but the symptom of having a strongintent.Having a strong intent is congruently:1) Having the desire and the will to do what needsto be done to achieve a particular outcome.2) Having the unwavering belief that you willachieve the intended outcome.If a person has the desire and the will to do whatneeds to be done to achieve a particular outcome butdoes not have the belief that he can achieve it, hewill come across as needy. This used to be me.Although I had the desire and the will to do whatneeds to be done to achieve a particular outcome,I did not believe or think that I deserved theoutcome.One thing that has helped me tremendously isrehearsing the outcome of everything I intend to getan effect from. So, for example, if I intend to tella story to intrigue a woman, I will rehearse in mymind her being intrigued by my story. If, for example,I intend to have a woman lean in and try to kiss meafter I have kissed her and pulled back, I willrehearse this over and over again in my mind.When you are in an attraction flow - achieving one

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