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Ninja Humor

Ninja Humor

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Published by Frank Hays
Free to download and copy
Ninja Humor, Jokes about Ninjas, Ninja Culture, Ninja, Jokes Ninja Craze
Free to download and copy
Ninja Humor, Jokes about Ninjas, Ninja Culture, Ninja, Jokes Ninja Craze

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Published by: Frank Hays on Feb 21, 2012
Copyright:Public Domain

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12/30/2013

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Ninja Humor Page by Frank Hays
Free to copy and distribute
1. Ninja homes have no floors because ninja's usually crawl on the walls and ceilings anyway2. Ninja's are not known to bathe unless they are involved in a bloodbath3. The Ninja are number 4 on the periodic table of elements because they represent the element of death and destruction4. Guns don’t kill people! People kill people! Ninja's kill everyone5. The chief export of America is Steel, The chief export of Europe is wheat, and the chief export of the Orient is Whoop-ass!6. How does a Ninja deal with Stress? He discovers the source of his stress and kills him7. How does a Ninja deal with a drinking problem? It’s normal for a Ninja to be Bloodthirsty8. How does a Ninja deal with the stress of Divorce? They don’t, all ninjas are widows or widowers........ Eventually!9. How does a Ninja deal with Insomnia? When a Ninja can't sleep he sits on the roof whenever he can't drop off 10. How does a Ninja deal with religion? Their atheists, they don’t believe in Zeus, The moral majority doesn’t dare picket themAnd the Jehovah’s witnesses don’t knock on their door in the morning11. A Ninja once went to church, now the statue inside is just called Mary12. A saint once walked on water to save a boatload of fisherman, A Ninja walked across water and killed a boatload of people13. When a Ninja talks about a higher power they are discussing their Sensei14. A Ninja will never be seen on the road to hell because they won't walk on anything paved with good intentions15. Contrary to popular belief Moses didn’t part the red sea with a staff, instead he used a Bo16. When a ninja swims across water the ninja doesn’t get wet, but the water turns black around him17. Abraham Lincoln faked his own death in 1865 to escape from southern Ninja's18. Ninja’s don’t do pushups; they lie on their stomachs and bob the floor downward with their arms19. Ninja’s don’t jog; they run in place and spin the world underneath them like a big hamster wheel20. What is a Ninja’s health club? An enemy’s fortress, what does a ninja use for a punching bag? An enemy
 
Ninja Humor Page by Frank Hays
Free to copy and distribute
21. How do you spell relief? A.S.P.I.R.I.N. How does a Ninja spell relief? V.E.N.G.E.N.C.E.22. How does a ninja buy life insurance? He buys a sword and sleeps next to it,......Always!23. When a Ninja gets hungry he grabs a cow and shakes it until he gets butter, if it falls apart he gets hamburgers24. When a Ninja gets tired of waiting, he kills time with his sword!25. When a Ninja wants a home cooked meal he goes to a restaurant and kills every chef who is not Japanese26. When a Ninja wants a hot meal he starts a Forrest fire and eats whatever didn’t get away in time.27. For health reasons Ninja’s never smoke unless they’re jumping out of a burning building!28. As the old saying goes, it’s no use crying over spilled milk, And a Ninja never cry’s over spilling blood!29. As the old saying goes, Time heals all wounds! Except those inflicted by a Ninja30. A Ninja can cut you to death with a sharp glance31. As the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink A Ninja can drag a horse and rider to water, Throw them in and watch them sink!32. Silly Billy threw a clock out of the window because he wanted to see time fly.A Ninja threw a burning log at Billy’s head because he wanted to watch the fire die out33. Question; what do you call a Ninja pedestrian?Answer; A carjacker whose day hasn’t started yet34. As the old saying goes, Fate never closes a door on you without opening a windowA Ninja doesn’t need a door; He will come in through a window to introduce you to your fate.....Death!35. Question; why don't you see Ninja's in the streets?Answer; Ninjas don’t walk down the streets they cross-town by leaping from rooftop to rooftop at night36. As the old saying goes, it’s no use beating a dead horse. If a Ninja has no use for a horse then he beats it to death37. Will Rogers once said “I never met a man I didn’t like” Will Rogers never met a Ninja...Wait!, Will Rogers is dead! So maybe he did38. Question: How many ninja’s does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: None Ninja’s always work in the dark 39. Why don't Ninja's kill bankers? Because s a Ninja will always tear out his victims hart, and a banker just doesn’t have one
 
Ninja Humor Page by Frank Hays
Free to copy and distribute
40. When a Ninja has a toothache! He kills the pain with his bare hands41. Question; why don’t Ninja's kill sharks? Answer; Professional courtesy42. Adolph Hitler was killed in the bunker by a ninja and made to look like a suicide so the police wouldn’t get involved43. J.F.K. Was a Ninja; He faked his own death in 1963 when his enemies were catching on to him. Now he's known as Jackie Chan44. A clan of Ninjas killed the Dead Sea45. Question; where do Ninja's go on vacation? Answer; Death Valley46. An army of warriors cornered a ninja on the beach; the ninja killed six or seven of them then escaped by swimming awayThe body of water is now known as the red sea47. There once was a city bridge named after a ninja, but it had to be closed because the general public feared crossing a ninja48. Ghost’s sit around bonfires all night long and tell tales about Ninja’sThat’s how most of them got to be ghosts anyway49. At the post office in my town there is a poster saying Wanted for Murder! And a dozen people dressed as Ninja’sShowed up and applied for the position50. Question; what happens when you cross a Ninja with a Parrot? Answer; Nobody alive today knowsIf you ever cross a Ninja He’ll kill you and the parrot too!51. The only man on Earth not frightened to see a Ninja is Stevie Wonder52. When a Ninja gets tired he lays in a bed of despair, sleeps through adversity and wakes up at the dawn of troubleAlso he's known to keep his things in a Pack of lies53. A Ninja can make a long distance call with two cans and a string and send E-mail the same way54. A Ninja's vacation home is a houseboat anchored in the Bermuda triangle55. Question: How does a Ninja kill two birds with one stone? Answer: A ninja's idea of a stone is a bolder because it’s a rock anyway56. Monsters sleep with the lights on because there might be a Ninja hiding in the closet or under his bed57. Contrary to the Aristotle theory, the sun is not the center of the universe, but Tokyo Japan is!58. When a Ninja needs toilet paper out in the field he uses rabbits, that explains where skunks come from and their odor too!

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