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A Safe Harbor

Vigilance

As guardians of our homes, what does vigilance mean? Keep the bad out, writing grievance tickets, holding evil at bay?

Constant Vigilance

Or does vigilance mean lling our homes with encouragement and nourishment?

Explain the limbic brain - emotional, How can i make life better in the next 10 minutes?

Which environment nourishes?

If in a desert, and a box of cookies appeared, how long would your will power to avoid cookies last?

If a box of cookies appeared in this environment, how valuable would they be? (not so much) our homes should be more like the nourishing grocery store and not a desert of warmth and affection.

Isaiah 51:3
For the Lord shall comfort Zion: he will comfort all her waste places; and he will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the Lord; joy and gladness shall be found therein, thanksgiving, and the voice of melody.

Triggers
B oredom L onely A ngry/Anxious H ungry S tressed T ired D iscouraged/Depressed
Triggers for addiction, temptation, etc. Notice how common boredom, hunger, tired. Can occur daily.

Whats the biggest consumer of our childrens time?

of our time?

best resource for parents!

Pres. Henry B. Eyring: Brothers and sisters, our Heavenly Father wants and needs our help to bring His spirit children home to Him again. I speak today of young people already within His true Church and so are started on the strait and narrow way to return to their heavenly home. He wants them to gain early the spiritual strength to stay on the path. And He needs our help to get them back to the path quickly should they begin to wander. I was a young bishop when I began to see clearly why the Lord wants us to strengthen children when they are young and rescue them quickly.

65% of 8-18 year olds have a TV in bedroom !!

10% of teens have sext.

Children under 2 spend twice as much time watching TV and videos as they do reading books.

Keeping Safe - Filters

Filtering softwareDownload it from the Internet or buy it in a store and install it. Hardware ltersYour cable modem or DSL router may have built-in software that can lter Internet content. Internet proxy ltersCheck to see if your Internet provider offers a ltering service.

Best Filter is a Moral Filter...

As the trafc on the communications highway becomes a parking lot, we must depend more and more on our own personal moral lters to separate the good from the bad. ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Pres. Faust

5 Filter Questions for Every Media User

LEARN? 2. Am I using it to build faith and testimony in myself and others? FAITH? 3. Am I using it to entertain in uplifting ways? UPLIFT? 4. Am I giving enough undistracted FACE TO FACE?
1. Am I using this technology to learn or to teach? in-person time to family and friends? 5. Am I devoting enough time to work, school, Church callings, and physical exercise?

ACTIVE?

use these ? for ourselves and for our youth to use for themselves

Setting Boundaries
1. Regularly teach children how to use digital devices wisely. For example, teach them what is appropriate to post on social networking sites and how to handle cyberbullying or inappropriate texting. 2. Let children know that iPod players, cell phones, and other devices are subject to unannounced parental spot-checks. If you have older children who use social networking sites, become a friend. 3. Keep the computer in a public area of the home. 4. If you decide your child is old enough for a cell phone, dont enable the Internet on it. You might consider a cell phone that can block all incoming and outgoing numbers except those selected by the parent, making the phone for emergency use only. 5. Set up a family recharging station where children plug in cell phones each night at bedtime. 6. Establish acceptable times and rm time limits for technology use. 7. Set a regular time each day or week when the family unplugs from digital devices especially before going to bed. Some families also establish technology-free zones in certain areas of the home. 8. Block peer-to-peer or sharing applications, many of which encourage stealing and open a portal to unlterable content.

Most Important: Dont Freak Out...

When children tell you they have encountered inappropriate content online or on a cell phone, keep your focus on how to prevent future problems. The child may already feel worried and ashamed, and your calm approach will help him or her feel condent enough to approach you in the future.

10 Signs of Digital Overload

1. Slipping away from activities with people to check e-mail or social networking sites. 2. Checking the same sites repeatedly within a short period of time. 3. Spending little time outside. 4. Finding it hard to complete a task such as writing a report without frequently breaking away to check e-mail or unrelated websites. 5. Spending little time in face-to-face interactions with friends. 6. Going online or using a digital device when you feel stressed or want to avoid an unpleasant task. 7. Family members spending most of their time at home in separate rooms interacting with screens. 8. Frequently using digital devices to entertain a child instead of talking, singing, playing, or reading with him or her. 9. Checking the computer rst thing in the morning, or getting up during the night to use digital devices. 10. Spending long stretches of time surng for content, often viewing content that is inappropriate or borderline.

10 Ways to Cut Back

1. Check and answer e-mail only once or twice a day, at scheduled times. 2. Use social networking sites only at scheduled times and for a set number of minutes. 3. Practice a digital Sabbathsetting aside one or two days each week to unplug. 4. Leave your cell phone in another room during time with family or friends. 5. Call instead of texting. 6. Invite children to help search the house for supplies that can be used in nondigital activities: childrens books, board games, art supplies, and equipment for outside play. 7. Organize a talent show, art show, or service project with family or friends. 8. Use Internet-blocking software to keep on task while working. 9. Limit recreational surng; watch TV and videos selectively and intentionally. 10. Keep a gospel-centered perspective, using technology to uplift yourself and people around you.

retire and replace

In our family we get six TV Tickets at the beginning of the week. One ticket equals an hour of screen time. On the back of each ticket is a list of things we need to do before we can turn a ticket in, like cleaning our room, nishing our homework, and doing our chores. Instead of using technology all the time, we like to read, play games with each other, and play outside with our friends. Trevor and NicoletteC., ages 10 and 13, Utah

In our family we read for 30 minutes before using media. We ask our friends to do this as well when they are at our house. We also only do games or video/TV watching on Fridays and Saturdays so were not distracted on the nights we need to do homework.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Gig Harbor Stake Youth

The Best Protection is Loving Communication

Teach
Trust

The You Pyramid

Listen
See

Tell

The Me Pyramid

Deny Denial

2010 PyrBlu Inc.

trustinmarriage.com

see them as children of God, ask questions from a neutral, safe place

And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents. D&C 68:25

What is our job as parents as dictated from the scriptures? to teach right from wrong or? Its more powerful to know the keys of how to change than to just know whats right.

Whats going on at Night?

but we did sleep upon our swords, and keep guards... Alma 57:9

The Himmer Family Systems

1.

Bed Time System

a.

8 PM! Prayer/Scriptures Dad

i. ii. iii.

Turn lights off! ! Lock up house! ! Treats!! ! !

Sam Scott Mom

b.

8:30! Boys in bed

i. ii.

Cheri reads to Sam Rich reads to Scott

c. d. e. f.

9 PM! Lights out No phones between 8 and 9 PM Computers off at 8 PM Parents lights out at 10 PM

1.

Morning System
a. b. c. d.

5:15 ! wake up - Scott 5:45! out the door 7:30! wake up Sam 8:35! out the door 6 PM! dinner Scott set daily at 5:45 Family clear together Stay at table until family is nished or a parent excuses you Everybody puts own dirty dishes in dishwasher Dinner time discussion
i.

2.

Weekday dinner system

a. b. c. d. e. f.

Each person is responsible for talking about 3 positive things learned or accomplished each day. All discussion without Rupert must be about the Ruperts subject matter. You are responsible for teaching your friends how to play (Rupert rules), no exceptions.

ii.

iii.

Rupert - The Talking Duck

sam not talking to last week couldnt stop him

1.

Date night system

a.

Once a week
i.

Friday is the preferred (default) night

b. c. d. e. f. 2.

Scott will babysit 1 BOD per month 1 Temple trip per month 1 DWAP per month 1 open 8:15! leave Dad & Scott 8:30! leave mom and Samuel 4:30! dinner 5:30 ! family band 8:00! family prayer See Dinner-time system with the following exception Each person shares two gospel subjects discussed during block Only Great Minds in use during dinner

Sundays system
a. b. c. d. e.

3.

Sunday dinner system

a. b. c.

some simple priorities go a long way

Take Aways...

Awareness of media use in my family Resources to help with media use How to have safe talks How to plan time to have safe talks How to protect our family at night