Sam: Well, I wish you would hear that.Arlene: Please. Sam, I have kids.Sookie: This had better be an emergency. Tara: I just quit my job.Sookie: Again? Tara: I can’t work for assholes.Sookie: Well, I’m glad you can afford to be so picky. Miss say-hello-to-the-rest-of-us. Tara: Oh, Shut up. Sam is not an asshole and he’s totally in love with you.Sookie: Tara, He is my boss. Tara: Jesus. Look, you need to lighten up.Sookie: You know I hate it when you use the J word. Now, I gotta go. Tara: I’m coming over. I need a margarita. A big one.Sookie: Bye.[engine starts]Dawn: Mack and Denise Rattray are just about to sit down in your section.Denise: What the fuck?Sam: Don’t let ‘em get to you, Chere. They’re not worth it.Dawn: Two tecates, sam.
Mack: Hell, there ain’t nothing on this menu ain’t gonna give me the runs. Damn sonof a -
Sookie: What can I do for y’all tonight?
Mack: You can wrap your sweet lips around my slim reaper that’s what you can do.
Mack: Why don’t we just start out with a pitcher of Bud?
Mack: You can hop aboard the Mack express and ride it all the way to heaven.
Sookie: Alrighty. Anything else?
Denise: What the hell is wrong with her?
Denise: Onion rings, with mustard.
Denise: She’s pathetic like a dog that’s been kicked too many times and keepscoming back for more.
Sookie: Coming right up.[music playing on stereo]Denise: I think she’s retarded.Arlene: Honey, if Rene tells you you’re too young to watch a scary movie on HBO,then I’m siding with him.[Sam comes up and clears his throat]Arlene: I know he’s not your daddy, but your daddy does not wanna live with usanymore. Remember? You want a time-out? Because I can give you one. I’d be finewith it.Sookie: Onion rings. And if you drop a few of them on the floor. That’s fine with me.Lafayette: Got it. Oh, Sookie. Chicka-chicka-bow-wow. You’re lookin’ like a porn starwith that tan. And pink lipstick. You got a date?Sookie: No. When I wear makeup, I get bigger tips.[Lafayette laughs]Lafayette: Yes, girl, that’s it. These damn rednecks are suckers for packaging.Sookie: And I get even bigger tips. When I act like I don’t have a brain in my head.But, if I don’t, they’re all scared of me.Lafayette: They ain’t scared of you, honey child. They scared of what’s between yourlegs.Sookie: Lafayette. That’s nasty talk. I won’t listen to that.[Arlene is laughing]Arlene: Do you even know what’s between a woman’s legs, Lafayette?Lafayette: I know every man, whether straight, gay, or George ma-fuckin’ Bush isterrified of the pussy.Sookie: Lafayette!Dawn: Oh, What are we talking about?