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TRUE BLOOD Episide 1 Transcript

TRUE BLOOD Episide 1 Transcript



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Published by: True Blood in Dallas on Nov 26, 2008
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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 TRUE BLOOD - EPISODE ONE - STRANGE LOVE[Scene opens with a car driving down the road with a girl and boy inside - we hearsnoring - the girl moves her hand over and starts to rub the guy]Boy: What the hell are you doing?Girl: Heh, I’m bored.[she unzips his fly]Boy: Oh, You get bored pretty easily.Girl: Only with you, darling.[she giggles - He grunts]Boy: Holy Shit, baby. Stop.[Tire screeching - They pull into the Grabbit Quick where you can hear a TV on]Nan Flannagan: We’re citizens. We pay taxes. We deserve basic civil rights just likeeveryone else.Bill Maher: Yeah, but… I mean come on, doesn’t your race have a rather sortedhistory of exploiting and feeding off innocent people. For centuries.Nan Flannagan: Three points. Number one. Show me documentation. It doesn’texist. Number two. Doesn’t your race have a history of exploitation. We never ownedslaves Bill, or detonated nuclear weapons. And most importantly point number three.Now that the Japanese has perfected synthetic blood which satisfies all of ournutritional needs there is no reason for anyone to fear us. I can assure you everymember of our community is now drinking synthetic blood. That is why we decidedto make our existence known. We just want to be part of main stream society.[Audience is applauding her speech - The boy and girl come in laughing with eachother]Girl: Hi. Ya’ll have true blood. For real.Boy: You get vamps in here. I didn’t even think we had any in Louisiana.Employee: You didn’t know. That New Orleans is a Mecca for the vampire.Boy: Seriously. I mean, New Orleans. Even after Katrina. Didn’t they all drown.Employee: Vampires can not drown. Because we do not breathe.Boy: Dude. No harm intended. We’re just a little drunk.Employee: Nice, I could use a cocktail.[The girl starts to cry - The employee starts to laugh at them]Employee: Score. I totally had you guys.Girl: That wasn’t funny.Employee: Yeah, it was.Boy: No, Kelly. That was pretty funny.Guy in Store: I didn’t think it was funny.Boy: What, We don’t care what you think. Dude, do you know where we can scoresome V juice.Girl: Gross, Brad no.Employee: How much do you need?Girl: I knew this girl who knew this girl who did vamp blood during Greek week sheliked clawed her own face off.Boy: Seriously. I can pay good money.Guy in Store: Okay, you two need to leave.Boy: Okay, Fuck you, Billy Bob.Guy in Store: Fuck me. I’ll fuck you, boy. I’ll fuck ya and then I’ll eat ya.[his fangs come out][the boy and girl run out of the store][customer brings a 4 pack of true blood to the counter. Employee looks scared]Guy in Store: You ever pretend to be one of us again and I’ll kill ya. Got it?[he shakes his head yes]Employee: Yeah.Guy in Store: Have a nice day now.
[opening credits][country music playing as we see an outside shot of Merlotte’s Bar and Grill - AsSookie is delivering things to tables you can hear what they are saying.]
Man 1: Just let me have just one beer tonight, Jesus. Just one beer. That is all I need and just give me the strength to say no to beer number two.Woman 1: Not after what I did for you last night. Which by the way was disgusting,although I kind of enjoyed it.Boy: Who are these people and what the hell is this music. I feel like I’m trapped insome hillbillys oxy-cotton nightmare. I can’t wait to get out of this poor town.
Sookie: Well make sure you do, before it’s too late. Because every year you wait you just get more and more stuck here. Believe me I know.
Boy: How does she know what I was thinking. That’s weird.
[multitude of different people’s thoughts]Sookie: I’ll get ya some ketchup.[voices are echoing as Sookie closes her eyes and concentrates to make the voicesgo away - we see Sam looking at her with a smile][door beeps] Tara: Welcome to Super Save A Bunch.Woman: Hi, I’m looking for that thick translucent plastic sheeting. The kind they hangin front of the doors of walk in refrigerators. Tara: Ah, We don’t sell that here. You could try Home Depot.Woman: I’ve tried them already. They sent me here. I can not believe that you don’thave that stuff… I don’t even know what it’s called… Tara: Sorry.Woman: Well, You’re suppose to have everything. Tara: Well We don’t have that stuff, that you don’t even know what’s its called.Woman: Your web site says that this is the most well stocked store in five parishes.Now I just drove over an hour from Marthasville. Tara: Uh-huh. Does our web site have a phone number?Woman: I suppose it does. Tara: So… it never occurred you, before you drove an hour to pick up the phone andcall us to see if we stocked what ever the hell it is you’re looking for?Woman: well I think that if a business chooses to classify itself as. Tara: Why didn’t you just find it on line and have it delivered to your house. Or wereyou just looking for an excuse to wear those ugly ass clothes?Woman: I would like to speak to your manager. Tara: Fine, Waylon! Trust me you’re not getting me fired. I am quitin’. You were justthe fucking catalyst and for that I ought thank you.Woman: You are a very rude young woman. Tara: This ain’t rude. This is upptied.[Tara smacks Waylon] Tara: That’s for pattin’ my ass to much. I’m goin’ get my baby’s daddy who just gotout of prison to come and kick your teeth in.Waylon: Jesus, Tara. Please don’t do anything… Tara: Oh my God. I’m not serious. You pathetic racist. I don’t have a baby. Damn. Iknow ya’ll had to be stupid but do you have to be that stupid. Shit. Fuck this job.[Merlott’s - the phone is ringing]Sam: Evening. Merlotte’s. Hey, Tara. Yeah, She’s right here.Sookie: I’m so sorry, Sam. She knows not to call me at work.Sam: Sookie, It’s okay. You don’t abuse a privilege like Arlene does.Arlene: Hey, I heard that.
Sam: Well, I wish you would hear that.Arlene: Please. Sam, I have kids.Sookie: This had better be an emergency. Tara: I just quit my job.Sookie: Again? Tara: I can’t work for assholes.Sookie: Well, I’m glad you can afford to be so picky. Miss say-hello-to-the-rest-of-us. Tara: Oh, Shut up. Sam is not an asshole and he’s totally in love with you.Sookie: Tara, He is my boss. Tara: Jesus. Look, you need to lighten up.Sookie: You know I hate it when you use the J word. Now, I gotta go. Tara: I’m coming over. I need a margarita. A big one.Sookie: Bye.[engine starts]Dawn: Mack and Denise Rattray are just about to sit down in your section.Denise: What the fuck?Sam: Don’t let ‘em get to you, Chere. They’re not worth it.Dawn: Two tecates, sam.
Mack: Hell, there ain’t nothing on this menu ain’t gonna give me the runs. Damn sonof a -
Sookie: What can I do for y’all tonight?
Mack: You can wrap your sweet lips around my slim reaper that’s what you can do.
Mack: Why don’t we just start out with a pitcher of Bud?
Mack: You can hop aboard the Mack express and ride it all the way to heaven.
Sookie: Alrighty. Anything else?
Denise: What the hell is wrong with her?
Denise: Onion rings, with mustard.
Denise: She’s pathetic like a dog that’s been kicked too many times and keepscoming back for more.
Sookie: Coming right up.[music playing on stereo]Denise: I think she’s retarded.Arlene: Honey, if Rene tells you you’re too young to watch a scary movie on HBO,then I’m siding with him.[Sam comes up and clears his throat]Arlene: I know he’s not your daddy, but your daddy does not wanna live with usanymore. Remember? You want a time-out? Because I can give you one. I’d be finewith it.Sookie: Onion rings. And if you drop a few of them on the floor. That’s fine with me.Lafayette: Got it. Oh, Sookie. Chicka-chicka-bow-wow. You’re lookin’ like a porn starwith that tan. And pink lipstick. You got a date?Sookie: No. When I wear makeup, I get bigger tips.[Lafayette laughs]Lafayette: Yes, girl, that’s it. These damn rednecks are suckers for packaging.Sookie: And I get even bigger tips. When I act like I don’t have a brain in my head.But, if I don’t, they’re all scared of me.Lafayette: They ain’t scared of you, honey child. They scared of what’s between yourlegs.Sookie: Lafayette. That’s nasty talk. I won’t listen to that.[Arlene is laughing]Arlene: Do you even know what’s between a woman’s legs, Lafayette?Lafayette: I know every man, whether straight, gay, or George ma-fuckin’ Bush isterrified of the pussy.Sookie: Lafayette!Dawn: Oh, What are we talking about?

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