Send Me A Sign Lord!
Well, here I am again y’all. I’m not bullshittin this time though. I got my nine andit’s loaded like “Full Metal Jacket”. I’m gonna do it this time! I’ve lost my job, lostmy lady, eviction notice is on the door, hell the dog’s even gone and he had the nerveto take his fuckin dinner bowl! Boy, I thought that shit was cold.After them ass holes laid me off down at the plant, I took my beat up Electra 225that I’ve had since “88”, pulled into a Seven Eleven, and put my last $3.95 cents intothe tank. The man at the counter took a look out the window at pump #1 where Iwas parked with my engine idling and tried to stifle his laugh. Well fuck’em! Atleast it rides.So I fight the traffic back to the two-bedroom efficiency. I sneak up the stairs toavoid the slum—I mean fuckin landlord with plans of murder in my mind. No, notthe noisy neighbors, but it’s me that I have in mind.So now I sit at the kitchen table with my nine. I beg the Lord, “If you’re thereplease give me a sign so that I won’t be the last of my fathers’ line”. Dammit! Theregoes the fuckin phone again. Can’t y’all see that I’m trying to kill myself shit!Probably another bill collector trying to add to my misery. I’ll just ignore that shit!I’m gonna do it this time Lord! Send me a sign! I put the barrel under my chin andthen I start thinking again. But just then the freakin light in the fuckin bathroomgoes on the frits. That’s odd. Too bad your ass aint getting changed tonight! Istarted thinking again. Oh, I’m still gonna kill myself y’all… I’m no fucking wimp.I just was thinking that when you die, I heard that you lose your bowels and youdrop your water. I don’t want them to find me like that. So let me go to thebathroom with my gat to take that last piss and to take that last crap.So now I’m on the shitter and having suicidal thoughts. Just to think, this nine wasthe newest thing in this damn house. I put it up to the right side of my head… I’mgonna do it y’all, another brother found dead! But then I think, “I don’t wanna goout with my dick in the john like Elvis did”. So I jump up, wipe my ass, flush andwash my hands. They’ll say: “He was a clean brotha” down at the morgue.I look at my reflection in the mirror. I’m gonna do it Lord! Send me a fuckin sign!I hear a horn blow outside the window of the bathroom. So I look out and down atthe street. Lookey, lookey here, it’s 93-fuckin-degrees outside and there’s a fool outthere in the middle of the fuckin street, with a long fucking white trench looking uphere at me!