By Alex VanguardI was never sure quite how to start such a broad topic, but as with all good things, one must let them mullfor a while until things make sense. Such is the case with this. I would describe myself as more of a spiritual person, rather than a religious one. Though I do believe in Gods and such, I've always fallen on the eclecticside of things. I would describe myself as an eclectic pagan at present. My spirituality borrows fromHinduism, Qabalah, Catholicism, Kemetic thought, and anything else that happens to turn up. It all meldstogether to form a workable belief system for me, though some may find my eclecticism jarring and toodisparate for their tastes.In recent months, I've undergone somewhat of a major shift in the way I view the universe. I still cannot pinpoint the exact cause, though I can pick out a few things that may have contributed. For some reason,chaos now fills my universe in a way it never did before. Chaos and genderlessness, and by‘genderlessness’, I do not mean an absence of gender. What I mean is a melding together of every diversegender in existence. They all come together to make an inherently genderless whole, and that whole reflectsthe diversity of humanity.I still have a monolatrous view of divinity, where there is a formless, faceless It from which all Gods arereflections of and are separate from, if that makes sense. I think I have shifted from seeing Gods, to seeingIt, and from It, all that the world and the Universe is. My perspective isn’t just to the Gods and earthanymore. I find this a fundamental shift in perspective that does alter how one sees the world.That said, I still believe in Gods. I still talk to Them, keep an altar to Them, and give Them offerings. Theyare the way we connect to It, to divinity Itself. They are reflections of ourselves. The faces They show usmay not be Their true form; I feel They show us the face we can most relate to, whether this is the god of the Abrahamic faiths, the Hindu gods, or any of the plethora of deities from civilisations around the world.I identify as genderqueer, and this isn't an easy thing to be when faced with a plethora of gendered gods.However, I don't find this as troublesome as one might expect. I'm not one of those people who wish todestroy the binary. I don’t see how eliminating two genders makes for more gender diversity. Withinmyself, I do have a femme side and a masculine side, and an inherently genderless side. It's this spectrum of gender that I can draw on, different energies and strengths. I was never femme enough to be drawn to thetypical forms of femininity, such as Aphrodite, Hathor, or Venus. I do not understand moon rites or the power from monthly bleeding (it just makes me feel crap; I do not feel All Mighty and Powerful, thank youvery much). Then again, I’ve never seen the moon as feminine to begin with. It’s always been male. So I’vehad no reason to connect the moon to femininity.Wicca teaches balance of male and female in the reverence of the God and Goddess. I, too, don’t believeone should be worshipped at the expense of the other. All genders are sacred and should be revered. Most people today have forgotten this. I find there’s strength to draw from walking between, around and outsidethe binary. I feel a balance and completeness that I would not otherwise feel if I confined myself to onegender. To me, it would be like cutting off a limb. Embracing all genders within myself and in the divinecompletes my worldview.That said, I don’t find any inspiration in Wicca anymore. It was too Celtic for my tastes. Still, every religionand spiritual experience teaches us something about ourselves and should not be so disregarded that theyare thought of as bad and wrong and not somewhere to return to if the soul desires it.