DR.

HORRIBLES SING-ALONG BLOG By Joss Whedon, Jed Whedon, Zack Whedon & Maurissa Tancharoen

ACT I Blog #1 DR. HORRIBLE Ah hahahaha. Ah ha haaaa. A haaaa. So thats you know... coming along. Im working with a vocal coach. Strengthening the ahhaa. A lot of guys ignore the laugh and thats about standards. I mean, if youre going to get into the Evil League of Evil you HAVE to have a memorable laugh. I mean do you think Bad Horse didnt work on his whinny? His terrible... Death... whinny. No response, BTW from the League yet but my application is strong this year. A letter of condemnation from the deputy mayor. Thats gotta have some weight, so, fingers crossed. EMAILS! 2sly4you writes: hey genius wow. Sarcasm. Thats ORIGINAL. Where are the gold bars you were supposed to pull out of that bank vault with your trans-matter ray? Obviously it failed or it would be in the papers. Well no, there not going to say anything in the press. But BEHOLD. Transported from there to here. The molecules tend to shift in the trans-matter... um... event, but, they were transported IN BAR FORM and they clearly were... (and by the way its not about making money. Its about TAKING money. Destroying the status-quo because the status is NOT quo. The world is a mess and I just need to RULE it.) Im gonna... that smells like cumin. So, Trans-matter is 75% AND more importantly the Freeze-Ray is almost up. This is the one. Stops time. Freeze-ray. Tell your friends. We have... OH! Heres one from our good friend Johnny Snow. Dr. Horrible. I see you are once again afraid to do battle with your nemesis. I waited at Dooley Park for 45 minutes. Ok, DUDE youre NOT my nemesis. My nemesis is Captain Hammer. Captain Hammer, Corporate TOOL. He dislocated my shoulder... Again... last week. LOOK! Im just trying to change the world, OK? I dont have time for a grudge match with every poser in a parka. Besides, theres kids in that park, so... (MORE) (CONTINUED)

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DR. HORRIBLE (contd) Heres one from DeadNotSleeping. Long time watcher, first time writing. Blah blah blah blah... You always say on your blog that you will show her the way, show her you are a true villain. Who is her and does she even know that youre ... Laundry Mat "My Freeze Ray" LAUNDRY DAY SEE YOU THERE UNDER THINGS TUMBLING WANNA SAY LOVE YOUR HAIR HERE I GO MUMBLING WITH MY FREEZE-RAY I WILL STOP THE WORLD WITH MY FREEZE-RAY I WILL FIND THE TIME TO FIND THE WORDS TO TELL YOU HOW HOW YOU MAKE MAKE ME FEEL WHATS THE PHRASE? LIKE A FOOL KINDA SICK SPECIAL NEEDS ANY WAYS WITH MY FREEZE-RAY I WILL STOP THE PAIN ITS NOT A DEATH-RAY OR AN ICE-BEAM THATS ALL JOHNNY SNOW I JUST THINK YOU NEED TIME TO KNOW THAT IM THE GUY TO MAKE IT REAL THE FEELINGS YOU DONT DARE TO FEEL ILL BEND THE WORLD TO OUR WILL AND WELL MAKE TIME STAND STILL THATS THE PLAN RULE THE WORLD YOU AND ME ANYDAY Love your hair PENNY What?

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DR. HORRIBLE No... I... I... I love the air... ANYWAY WITH MY FREEZE RAY I WILL STOP Lab MOIST Hey doc. DR. HORRIBLE Moist! My evil, moisture buddy. Whats going on? MOIST Life of crime. Got your mail. DR. HORRIBLE Hey, didnt you ahh. Didnt you go on a date last night? Conflict Diamond told me you were doubling with BaitNSwitch. MOIST Yeah, ahhh... DR. HORRIBLE Yeah? MOIST It was all right. I kinda thought I was supposed to end up with bait, but... DR. HORRIBLE I hear ya. MOIST You talk to her? DR. HORRIBLE So close. Im just a few weeks away from a real, audible, connection. Im gonna ask... Oh my God! MOIST Is that from the League? DR. HORRIBLE Its from him! MOIST The leader? The... Oh my God! Thats his seal isnt it?!? I saw Penny today.

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DR. HORRIBLE I got a letter from Bad Horse! MOIST Thats so hard core. Bad Horse is legend. He rules the league with an iron hoof. Are you sure you wanna...? "Bad Horse Letter" BAD HORSE CHORUS BAD HORSE BAD HORSE BAD HORSE BAD HORSE HE RIDES ACROSS THE NATION THE THOROUGHBRED OF SIN HE GOT THE APPLICATION THAT YOU JUST SENT IN IT NEEDS EVALUATION, SO LET THE GAMES BEGIN A HEINOUS CRIME, A SHOW OF FORCE, (A MURDER WOULD BE NICE OF COURSE) BAD HORSE BAD HORSE BAD HORSE HES BAD THE EVIL LEAGUE OF EVIL IS WATCHING SO BEWARE THE GRADE THAT YOU RECEIVE WILL BE YOUR LAST WE SWEAR SO MAKE THE BAD HORSE GLEEFUL OR HELL MAKE YOU HIS MARE YOURE SADDLED UP THERES NO RECOURSE ITS HIGH-HO SILVER SIGNED: BAD HORSE MOIST Its not a no... DR. HORRIBLE Are you kidding? This is great! Im about to pull a major heist. You know the Wonderflonium that I need for the Freeze-Ray? Its being transported tomorrow. MOIST Armored car? DR. HORRIBLE Courier van. Candy from a baby.

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MOIST You need anything dampened or made soggy or...? DR. HORRIBLE Thanks, but... the League is watching. alone. Street "Caring Hands" PENNY WILL YOU LEND A CARING HAND TO SHELTER THOSE WHO NEED IT? ONLY HAVE TO SIGN YOUR NAME DONT EVEN HAVE TO READ IT WOULD YOU HELP? NO? HOW BOUT YOU? WILL YOU LEND A CARING HAND? DR. HORRIBLE ARGHHH! PENNY Oh. Oh. Hah. What? DR. HORRIBLE Argh. Ah. PENNY I was wondering if I could just... Hey, I know you! DR. HORRIBLE Hello. You know me? you? PENNY From the laundry mat. DR. HORRIBLE Wednesdays and Saturdays except twice last month, you skipped the weekend. Or, if that was you. It coulda been someone else, I mean, Ive SEEN you. Billy is my name. PENNY Im Penny. What are you doing? DR. HORRIBLE Im texting. Its very important or I would stop. What are you doing? Cool. I mean. Yeah, you do. Do I gotta go this

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PENNY Actually Im out here volunteering for the Caring Hands Homeless Shelter. Can you spare a minute? DR. HORRIBLE Umm... Ok, go. PENNY Ok, were hoping to open up a new location soon, expand our efforts. Theres this great building nearby that the city is just going to demolish and turn into a parking lot, but if we get enough signatures... DR. HORRIBLE Signatures? *pfft* PENNY Yeah. DR. HORRIBLE Im sorry, go on. PENNY I was saying um, maybe we could get the city to donate the building to our cause. We would be able to provide 250 new beds, get people off the streets and into job training so they could... buy rocket packs and go to the moon and become... florists... Youre not really interested in the homeless are you? DR. HORRIBLE No, I am. But theyre a symptom. Youre treating a symptom and the disease rages on, consumes the human race. The fish rots from the head as they say. So my thinking is why not cut off the head? PENNY Of the human race? DR. HORRIBLE Its not a perfect metaphor... but Im talking about an overhaul of the system. Putting the power in... DIFFERENT... hands. PENNY Im all for that... This petition is about the building... DR. HORRIBLE Id love to sign it.

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PENNY Thank you. DR. HORRIBLE Sorry I... I come on strong. PENNY But you signed. DR. HORRIBLE Wouldnt want to turn my back on a fellow laundry person... PENNY Well if WE cant stick together I dont... Ill probably see you there. DR. HORRIBLE No, I will. Ill... She talked to me. Why did she talk to me NOW? Maybe I should... "A Mans Gotta Do" A MANS GOTTA DO WHAT A MANS GOTTA DO DONT PLAN THE PLAN IF YOU CANT FOLLOW THROUGH ALL THAT MATTERS IS TAKING MATTERS INTO YOUR OWN HANDS SOON ILL CONTROL EVERYTHING MY WISH IS YOUR COMMAND CAPTAIN HAMMER STAND BACK EVERYONE NOTHIN HERE TO SEE JUST IMMINENT DANGER AND IN THE MIDDLE OF IT ME YES CAPTAIN HAMMERS HERE HAIR BLOWING IN THE BREEZE THE DAY NEEDS MY SAVING EXPERTISE A MANS GOTTA DO WHAT A MANS GOTTA DO SEEMS DESTINY ENDS WITH ME SAVING YOU THE ONLY DOOM THATS LOOMING IS YOU LOVING ME TO DEATH SO ILL GIVE YOU A SECOND TO CATCH YOUR BREATH DR. HORRIBLE You Idiot! CAPTAIN HAMMER Dr. Horrible. I should have known you were behind this. DR. HORRIBLE You almost killed her

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CAPTAIN HAMMER I remember it differently. DR. HORRIBLE Is she? *urgh* CAPTAIN HAMMER Its curtains for you Dr. Horrible. Lacy, gently wafting curtains. PENNY THANK YOU HAMMER MAN, I DONT THINK I CAN EXPLAIN HOW IMPORTANT IT WAS THAT YOU STOP THE VAN I WOULD BE SPLATTERED; ID BE CRUSHED UNDER DEBRIS THANK YOU SIR FOR SAVING ME CAPTAIN HAMMER Dont worry about it. A MANS GOTTA DO WHAT A MANS GOTTA DO. PENNY (YOU CAME FROM ABOVE.) DR. HORRIBLE (ARE YOU KIDDING?) CAPTAIN HAMMER SEEMS DESTINY ENDS WITH ME SAVING YOU DR. HORRIBLE (WHAT HEIST WERE YOU WATCHING?) PENNY (I WONDER WHAT YOURE CAPTAIN OF) DR. HORRIBLE (STOP LOOKING AT HER LIKE THAT) CAPTAIN HAMMER WHEN YOURE THE BEST YOU CANT REST, WHATS THE USE? DR. HORRIBLE (DID YOU NOTICE THAT HE THREW YOU IN THE GARBAGE?) PENNY (MY HEART IS BEATING LIKE A DRUM) CAPTAIN HAMMER THERES ASS NEEDS KICKING. DIFFUSE. SOME TICKING BOMB TO

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PENNY (MUST... MUST BE IN SHOCK) DR. HORRIBLE (I STOPPED THE VAN. THE REMOTE CONTROL WAS IN MY HAND)

CAPTAIN HAMMER THE ONLY DOOM THATS LOOMING IS YOU LOVING ME TO DEATH PENNY (ASSUMING IM NOT LOVING YOU TO DEATH) DR. HORRIBLE (WHATEVER) CAPTAIN HAMMER & PENNY SO PLEASE GIVE ME A SEC TO CATCH MY BREATH DR. HORRIBLE Balls.

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ACT II Blog #2 Dr. Horrible sits with blank expression. Street "On the Rise" DR. HORRIBLE ANY DOLT WITH HALF A BRAIN CAN SEE THAT HUMAN KIND HAS GONE INSANE TO THE POINT WHERE I DONT KNOW IF ILL UPSET THE STATUS QUO IF I THROW POISON IN THE WATER MAIN LISTEN CLOSE TO EVERYBODYS HEART AND HEAR THAT BREAKING SOUND HOPES AND DREAMS ARE SHATTERING APART AND CRASHING TO THE GROUND I CAN NOT BELIEVE MY EYES HOW THE WORLDS FILLED WITH FILTH AND LIES BUT ITS PLAIN TO SEE EVIL INSIDE OF ME IS ON THE RISE PENNY LOOK AROUND. WERE LIVING WITH THE LOST AND FOUND JUST WHEN YOU FEEL YOUVE ALMOST DROWNED YOU FIND YOURSELF ON SOLID GROUND AND YOU BELIEVE THERES GOOD IN EVERYBODYS HEART KEEP IT SAFE AND SOUND WITH HOPE, YOU CAN DO YOUR PART TO TURN A LIFE AROUND I CAN NOT BELIEVE MY EYES IS THE WORLD FINALLY GROWING WISE CAUSE IT SEEMS TO ME SOME KIND OF HARMONY IS ON THE RISE DR. HORRIBLE ANY ONE WITH HALF A BRAIN COULD SPEND THEIR WHOLE LIFE HOWLING IN PAIN PENNY (TAKE IT SLOW HE LOOKS AT ME AND SEEMS TO KNOW) THE THINGS THAT IM AFRAID TO SHOW AND SUDDENLY I FEEL HIS GLOW

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DR. HORRIBLE (CAUSE THE DARK IS EVERYWHERE AND PENNY DOESNT SEEM TO CARE THAT SOON THE DARK IN ME IS ALL THAT WILL REMAIN) PENNY AND I BELIEVE THERES GOOD IN EVERYBODYS HEART KEEP IT SAFE AND SOUND DR. HORRIBLE (LISTEN CLOSE TO EVERYBODYS HEART AND HEAR THAT BREAKING SOUND) HOPES AND DREAMS ARE SHATTERING APART PENNY (WITH HOPE YOU CAN DO YOUR PART) DR. HORRIBLE AND CRASHING TO THE GROUND PENNY (TO TURN A LIFE AROUND) DR. HORRIBLE & PENNY I CAN NOT BELIEVE MY EYES HOW THE WORLDS DR. HORRIBLE FILLED WITH FILTH AND LIES PENNY FINALLY GROWING WISE DR. HORRIBLE BUT ITS PLAIN TO SEE PENNY (AND ITS PLAIN TO SEE) DR. HORRIBLE EVIL INSIDE OF ME PENNY (RAPTURE INSIDE OF ME) DR. HORRIBLE & PENNY IS ON THE RISE

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Laundry Mat PENNY It is so dumb that weve been coming here so long and never spoke. DR. HORRIBLE I know. All those months doing a stunningly boring chore. PENNY Im a fan of laundry. DR. HORRIBLE Psych! I love it. PENNY The smell of fabric softener. DR. HORRIBLE MMmm. PENNY The feel of warm clothes in your hands. DR. HORRIBLE So good. Hey, this is weird. I ordered one frozen yogurt and they gave me two. You dont happen to like frozen yogurt do you? PENNY I love it. DR. HORRIBLE Yore kidding! what a crazy, random happen-stance. Here. PENNY Thank you. DR. HORRIBLE So how was your weekend? Did you spend the whole time hunting wild signatures? PENNY Um, actually, I went on a date... DR. HORRIBLE Get right outta town. How was that?

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PENNY Unexpected. Hes a really good looking guy, and I thought he was kinda cheesy at first... DR. HORRIBLE Trust your instincts PENNY But, he turned out to be totally sweet. Sometimes people are layered like that. theres something totally different underneath than whats on the surface. DR. HORRIBLE And sometimes theres a third, even deeper level and that one is the same as the top surface one. PENNY Huh? DR. HORRIBLE Like with pie... So, you gonna see him again? PENNY I think I will... DR. HORRIBLE Huh. PENNY Billy? DR. HORRIBLE Yeah? PENNY Youre driving a spork into your leg. DR. HORRIBLE So I am. Hilarious. Blog #3 DR. HORRIBLE All right. The wait is over. This my friends, is my Freeze-Ray which, with the addition of the Wonderflonium I obtained at my famously successful heist last week. I say successful in that I achieved my objective. It was less successful in that I inadvertently introduced my arch-nemesis to the girl of my dreams, and now hes (MORE) (CONTINUED)

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DR. HORRIBLE (contd) taking her out on dates, and theyre probably going to french kiss or something. She called him sweet. How is he sweet? RIGHT. Freeze-Ray. SO as of tonight I am in the Evil League of Evil if all goes according to plan; which it WILL because I hold a P.H.D in Horribleness. See you at the aftermath. PEACE! But not literally... Blog #4 Dr. Horrible returns battered and bruised. DR. HORRIBLE *cough* Ahem. The Freeze-Ray needs work. I also need to be a LITTLE bit more careful about what I say on this blog. Apparently the L.A.P.D and Captain Hammer are among our viewers. They were waiting for me at the Mayors dedication of the Superhero Memorial Bridge. The Freeze-Ray takes a few seconds to warm up and I wasnt... Captain Hammer threw a car at my head. Not to worry though, because Im.... Oh, one second. "Bad Horse Phone Call" BAD HORSE CHORUS HE SAW THE OPERATION YOU TRIED TO PULL TODAY BUT YOUR HUMILIATION MEANS HE STILL VOTES NAY AND NOW ASSASSINATION IS JUST THE ONLY WAY THERE WILL BE BLOOD IT MIGHT BE YOURS SO GO KILL SOMEONE SIGNED: BAD HORSE Lab MOIST Kill someone? DR. HORRIBLE Would you do it? To get into the Evil League of Evil?

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MOIST Look at me man. Im Moist. I mean, at my most bad-ass I make people feel like they want to take a shower. Im not E.L.E material. DR. HORRIBLE Killings not elegant or creative. Its not my style. MOIST Youve got more than enough evil hours to get into the Henchmans Union. DR. HORRIBLE *Pfft* Im not a henchman. Im Dr. Horrible. I have a P.H.D. in horribleness. MOIST Is that the new catch phrase? DR. HORRIBLE I deserve to get in. You know I do. But killing? Really? MOIST Hourglass says she knows a kid in Iowa that grows up to become president. Thatd be big. DR. HORRIBLE Im not gonna kill a little kid. MOIST Smother an old lady. DR. HORRIBLE: Do I even know you? Laundry Mat DR. HORRIBLE I just, you know, REALLY think Im qualified for this, this job and I just cant get my foot in the door. PENNY Im sure you will. DR. HORRIBLE I wanna do great things, you know? I wanna be an achiever. Like Bad Horse... PENNY The thoroughbred of sin?

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DR. HORRIBLE I meant Ghandi. PENNY Well, Ive gotten turned down from plenty of jobs. Even fired a few times. DR. HORRIBLE I cant imagine anyone firing you. PENNY Neither could I. Now I can visualize it really well. But, you know... everything happens. DR. HORRIBLE Dont say "for a reason". PENNY No, Im just saying that everything happens. DR. HORRIBLE Not to me. "Heres a Story" PENNY HERES A STORY OF A GIRL WHO GREW UP LOST AND LONELY THINKING LOVE WAS FAIRY TALE AND TROUBLE WAS MADE ONLY FOR ME EVEN IN THE DARKENSS EVERY COLOR CAN BE FOUND AND EVERY DAY OF RAIN BRINGS WATER FLOWING TO THINGS GROWING IN THE GROUND GRIEF REPLACED WITH PITTY FOR A CITY BARELY COPING DREAMS ARE EASY TO ACHIEVE IF HOPE IS ALL IM HOPING TO BE ANY TIME YOURE HURT THERES ONE WHO HAS IT WORSE AROUND AND EVERY DROP OF RAIN WILL KEEP YOU GROWING SEEDS YOURE SOWING IN THE GROUND SO KEEP YOUR HEAD UP BILLY BUDDY Its like Captain Hammers always saying...

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DR. HORRIBLE Right. Him. How are things with "cheesy on the outside"? PENNY Good. Theyre good. Hes nice. Ill be interested to know what you think of him. He said he might stop by. DR. HORRIBLE Stop by here?! PENNY Yeah. DR. HORRIBLE OH! Goodness. Look at my wrist. I gotta go PENNY But what about your clothes? DR. HORRIBLE I dont love these. See ya. ARGH! CAPTAIN HAMMER Oh, Pardon. DR. HORRIBLE Pardon. PENNY Billy, this is Captain Hammer. CAPTAIN HAMMER OH! Billy, the laundry buddy. well it is very nice to meet you. DR. HORRIBLE Were meeting now for the first time. CAPTAIN HAMMER You look horribly familiar. DR. HORRIBLE One of those faces I guess. CAPTAIN HAMMER Have I seen you at the gym?

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DR. HORRIBLE At the gym... CAPTAIN HAMMER I dont go to the gym, Im just naturally like this. Oh well. Who wants to know what the Mayor is doing behind closed doors? He is signing over a certain building to a Caring Hands Group as a new homeless shelter. PENNY Oh my God! CAPTAIN HAMMER Yep. Apparently the only signature he needed was my fist. But, with a pen in it. That I was signing with. PENNY I, I cant believe it! DR. HORRIBLE Congratulations PENNY Thank you, THANK YOU! CAPTAIN HAMMER ahh PENNY Oh DR. HORRIBLE Well, this is great. I wish I could stay and chit-chat. CAPTAIN HAMMER Well it sure was nice to meet you... Doctor... You got a little crush, dont you Doc? Well thats gonna make this hard to hear. See, later Im gonna take little Penny back to my place, show her the Command Center, Hammer Cycle, maybe even the Ham-Jet. You think she likes me now? Im gonna give Penny the night of her life. Just because you want her, and I get what you want. See, Pennys giving it up. Shes givin it up hard, cause shes with Captain Hammer. And THESE are not the hammer. The hammer is my penis.

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Street "Brand New Day" DR. HORRIBLE THIS APPEARED AS A MORAL DILEMMA CAUSE AT FIRST IT WAS WEIRD THOUGH I SWORE TO ELIMINATE THE WORST OF THE PLAGUE THAT DEVOURED HUMANITY ITS TRUE I WAS VAGUE ON THE HOW SO HOW CAN IT BE THAT YOU HAVE SHOWN ME THE LIGHT ITS A BRAND NEW DAY AND THE SUN IS HIGH ALL THE BIRDS ARE SINGING THAT YOURE GONNA DIE HOW I HESITATED NOW I WONDER WHY ITS A BRAND NEW DAY ALL THE TIMES THAT YOU BEAT ME UNCONSCIOUS ILL FORGIVE ALL THE CRIMES INCOMPLETE, LISTEN, HONESTLY ILL LIVE MR. COOL, MR. RIGHT, MR. KNOW-IT-ALL IS THROUGH AND THE FUTURES SO BRIGHT AND I OWE IT ALL TO YOU YOU SHOWED ME THE LIGHT ITS A BRAND NEW ME IVE GOT NO REMORSE NOW THE WATERS RISIN BUT I KNOW THE COURSE IM GONNA SHOCK THE WORLD GONNA SHOW BAD HORSE ITS A BRAND NEW DAY AND PENNY WILL SEE THE EVIL ME NOT A JOKE NOT A DORK NOT A FAILURE AND SHE MAY CRY BUT HER TEARS WILL DRY WHEN I HAND HER THE KEYS TO A SHINY NEW AUSTRALIA ITS A BRAND NEW DAY AND THE SUN IS HIGH ALL THE ANGELS SING BECAUSE YOURE GONNA DIE GO AHEAD AND LAUGH YEAH IM A FUNNY GUY (MORE) (CONTINUED)

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DR. HORRIBLE (contd) TELL EVERYONE GOOD-BYE ITS A BRAND NEW DAY

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ACT III Multiple (T.V., Street & Lab) FEMALE REPORTER Looks like were finding out what a true hero is MALE REPORTER The mayor himself will be on hand to dedicate the new homeless shelter and unveil the statue of Captain Hammer. FEMALE REPORTER Its a good day to be homeless. MALE REPORTER Ahaha, it certainly is. "Perfect Story" MOVER #1 SO THEY SAY CAPTAIN HAMMERS BECOME A CRUSADER, POLITICAL, HES CLEANIN UP THE STREETS. MOVER #2 About time. GROUPIE #1 SO THEY SAY ITS REAL LOVE GROUPIES SO ROMANTIC GROUPIE #3 HE SIGNED THIS. PENNY SO THEY SAY WELL HAVE BLANKETS AND BEDS. WE CAN OPEN BY MONDAY THANKS TO YOU. CAPTAIN HAMMER Thanks to ME. REPORTERS ITS THE PERFECT STORY MALE REPORTER SO THEY SAY FEMALE REPORTER A HERO LEADING THE WAY

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REPORTERS HAMMERS CALL TO GLORY FEMALE REPORTER LETS ALL BE OUR BEST MALE REPORTER Next up, whos gay? GROUPIE #2 SO THEY SAY HE SAVED HER LIFE. GROUPIE #1 THEY SAY SHE WORKS WITH THE HOMELESS, AND DOESNT EAT MEAT. GROUPIES WE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HER. GROUPIE #3 THIS IS HIS HAIR. CAPTAIN HAMMER THIS IS SO NICE I JUST MIGHT SLEEP WITH THE SAME GIRL TWICE THEY SAY ITS BETTER THE SECOND TIME THEY SAY YOU GET TO DO THE WEIRD STUFF GROUPIES WE DO THE WEIRD STUFF PENNY THIS IS PERFECT FOR ME SO THEY SAY I GUESS HES PRETTY OK AFTER YEARS OF STORMY SAILING HAVE I FINALLY FOUND THE BAY? MOIST Hes still not picking up. DR. HORRIBLE & PENNY THERES NO HAPPY ENDING SO THEY SAY DR. HORRIBLE Not for me anyway. PENNY SHOULD I STOP PRETENDING

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DR. HORRIBLE (STOP PRETENDING) TAKE THE CHANCE TO BUILD A BRAND NEW DAY? PENNY (OR IS THIS A BRAND NEW DAY?) GROUPIE #3 THIS IS HIS DRY-CLEANING BILL GROUPIES FOUR SWEATER-VESTS. Town Hall MAYOR And in just a few minutes well unveil the statue of the man himself. Thank you. Thank you. Justice has a name, and the name it has (besides justice) is Captain Hammer. Ladies and Gentlemen; your hero. CAPTAIN HAMMER Thank you. Thank you Mayor for those kind words. "I hate the homeless... "-ness problem that plagues our city. Everyone should have the basic... " You know what? I dont need tiny cue cards. When I fell DEEPLY in love with my serious, long term girlfriend Penny (wave your hand Penny) There she is. Cute huh? Sort of a quiet, nerdy thing. Not my usual, but nice. Anyway, she turned me on to this whole homeless... thing... which is terrible, and I realized, Im not the only hero in the room tonight. Im not the only one whos fighting. "Everyones a Hero" IT MAY NOT FEEL TOO CLASSY BEGGING JUST TO EAT BUT YOU KNOW WHO DOES THAT? LASSIE. AND SHE ALWAYS GETS A TREAT SO YOU WONDER WHAT YOUR PART IS CAUSE YOURE HOMELESS AND DEPRESSED BUT HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS SO YOUR REAL HOMES IN YOUR CHEST EVERYONES A HERO IN THEIR OWN WAY EVERYONES GOT VILLAINS THEY MUST FACE (MORE) (CONTINUED)

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THEYRE NOT AS COOL AS MINE BUT FOLKS YOU KNOW ITS FINE TO KNOW YOUR PLACE EVERYONES A HERO IN THEIR OWN WAY IN THEIR OWN, NOT THAT HEROIC WAY SO I THANK MY GIRLFRIEND PENNY YEAH, WE TOTALLY HAD SEX SHE SHOWED ME THERES SO MANY DIFFERENT MUSCLES I CAN FLEX THERES THE DELTOIDS OF COMPASSION THERES THE ABS OF BEING KIND ITS NOT ENOUGH TO BASH IN HEADS YOUVE GOT TO BASH IN MINDS EVERYONES A HERO IN THEIR OWN WAY EVERYONES GOT SOMETHIN THEY CAN DO GET UP, GO OUT AND FLY ESPECIALLY THAT GUY HE SMELLS LIKE POO EVERYONES A HERO IN THEIR OWN WAY YOU AND YOU AND MOSTLY ME AND YOU IM POVERTYS NEW SHERIFF AND IM BASHING IN THE SLUMS A HERO DOESNT CARE IF YOURE A BUNCH OF SCARY, ALCOHOLIC BUMS EVERYBODY! EVERYONES A HERO IN THEIR OWN WAY CHORUS (WERE HEROES TOO) CAPTAIN HAMMER EVERYONE CAN BLAZE A HEROS TRAIL CHORUS (WERE JUST LIKE YOU) CAPTAIN HAMMER DONT WORRY IF ITS HARD IF YOURE NOT A FRIGGIN TARD YOU WILL PREVAIL CHORUS (AHHH AHH AHH OOOOOO) CAPTAIN HAMMER EVERYONES A HERO IN THEIR OWN WAY

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CHORUS (WERE HEROES TOO) CAPTAIN HAMMER EVERYONES A HERO IN THEI... "Slipping" DR. HORRIBLE LOOK AT THESE PEOPLE AMAZING HOW SHEEPLL SHOW UP FOR THE SLAUGHTER NO ONE CONDEMNING YOU LINED UP LIKE LEMMINGS YOU LED TO THE WATER WHY CANT THEY SEE WHAT I SEE WHY CANT THEY HEAR THE LIES? MAYBE THE FEES TOO PRICEY FOR THEM TO REALIZE YOUR DISGUISE IS SLIPPING I THINK YOURE SLIPPING NOW THAT YOUR SAVIORS AS STILL AS THE GRAVE YOURE BEGINNING TO FEAR ME LIKE CAVEMEN FEAR THUNDER I STILL HAVE TO WONDER CAN YOU REALLY HEAR ME? I BRING YOU PAIN THE KIND YOU CANT SUFFER QUIETLY FIRE UP YOUR BRAIN REMIND YOU INSIDE YOURE RIOTING SOCIETY IS SLIPPING EVERYTHINGS SLIPPING AWAY SOO GO AHEAD RUN AWAY SAY IT WAS HORRIBLE SPREAD THE WORD TELL A FRIEND TELL THEM THE TALE GET A PIC DO A BLOG HEROS ARE OVER WITH LOOK AT HIM NOT A WORD HAMMER MEET NAIL (MORE) (CONTINUED)

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DR. HORRIBLE (contd) THEN I WIN THEN I GET EVERYTHING I EVER ALL THE CASH ALL THE FAME AND SOCIAL CHANGE ANARCHY THAT I RUN ITS DR. HORRIBLES TURN YOU PEOPLE ALL HAVE TO LEARN THIS WORLD IS GOING TO BURN BURN Yeah, its two "Rs" H-O-R-R. Right. BURN NO SIGN OF PENNY GOOD I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING NOT TO HAVE HER SEE ITS GONNA BE BLOODY HEAD UP BILLY BUDDY THERES NO TIME FOR MERCY HERE GOES NO MERCY Thats not a good sound... CAPTAIN HAMMER WAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY! A Death-Ray? Looks like Dr. Horribles moving up. Lets see if this one works any better than your others. DR. HORRIBLE Dont... CAPTAIN HAMMER I dont have time for your warnings. You give my regards to Saint Peter... or whoever has his job, but in Hell. Awww ahhhhh Im in pain. I think this is what pain feels like. Oh mommy! Someone maternal. Get outta my way! I gotta get out!

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DR. HORRIBLE Penny! Penny? oh PENNY Billy? Is that you? DR. HORRIBLE Penny, hold on. Oh no no no no no. PENNY Are you all right? DR. HORRIBLE Hold on, well... PENNY Its ok. Its ok. Captain Hammer will save us... DR. HORRIBLE Penny?!? "Everything You Ever (Finale)" PRESS Dr. Horrible, whyd you kill her? Dr. Horrible, was this all part of your plan? Dr. Horrible, over here. Whyd you do it Dr. Horrible? DR. HORRIBLE HERE LIES EVERYTHING THE WORLD I WANTED AT MY FEET MY VICTORYS COMPLETE SO HAIL TO THE KING CHORUS (EVERYTHING YOU EVER...) DR. HORRIBLE ARISE AND SING SO YOUR WORLDS BENIGN SO YOU THINK JUSTICE HAS A VOICE AND WE ALL HAVE A CHOICE WELL NOW YOUR WORLD IS MINE CHORUS (EVERYTHING YOU EVER...) DR. HORRIBLE AND I AM FINE CAPTAIN HAMMER Right here, In my heart and it hurts inside...

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CHORUS EVERYTHING YOU EVER... DR. HORRIBLE AND I WONT FEEL Blog # 5 A thing.