By Ava LindtEstimated Length: 3-4 minutes
(Lindsay walks on stage, in sort of baggy clothes to hide her "fatness." She looks obviously underfed with bags under her eyes, her hands are clasped tightly. She stops center stage and puts on a fakesmile, then she proceeds to tell her story
)Okay, so I was eating dinner last night, normal as can be, and mymom asks me if I am puking up my food. I don't know what to say toher, I mean, I don't actually puke all of it up. Just some of it... but it'snot what you think. I was just thinking, ya know, if I didn't eat somuch bad stuff then maybe I would lose some of this excess weight.Let's face it! I'm fat. I don't have a flat stomach, my thunder thighsare SO obvious when I wear shorts, and it doesn't hurt to puke up atleast some food. I mean most of the time it's only one meal a day.Like, dinner. You don't need that food anyway, it just rots in your bodyand you never can metabolize it so you just get fat from it. Anyway,what I'm trying to say is, I just want to look like everyone else and Iam willing to make sacrifices. I just don't want to be this fat chunk of lard wobbling her big butt down the beach. Is that too much to ask?
(Kicks off her shoes and walks over to a scale. Stepping on it, she fallsdown. She tries to get up but can't. She starts laughing)
I feel sorta weak. It must have been that horrible fried chicken mymom practically stuffed in my mouth last night. I couldn't get it outagain.
(tries to get up again)
Heh.. silly me. I can't believe this.
(triesto get up for the last time, starts to laugh, but cries instead)
What iswrong with me? All week! I can't do simple things like do homeworkwithout falling asleep or falling down or feeling weak. I should starteating better. No more pasta for you, Lindsay! Let's try that scaleagain. (uses all her might to get up, and finally does)Whew!(steps onscale)110 pounds. And look at me, I'm still a whale. I feel so ugly!
(groans, and walks to the center of the stage.)
I guess I'll never be skinny. Or pretty for that matter.
That was my mom.
Okay mom! What are we having?
Steak? Ugh. That's like 80 grams of fat. I'm going to be such a cow.
(stomps out the door)